Quality – Time

Today is Day Four of Quality Week on The Stretched Blog.  Check out the previous three days to catch up on some of my thoughts on quality.  I’m approaching the word quality from a different angle today.  We usually associate the word quality with a product or service… ‘they provide quality service‘… or… ‘that product is a quality product.‘  But what if we look at quality as an indication of our time?  What does quality time look like?

Quality time means being present.  In order for me to provide quality time to my wife and kids, my mind has to be with them at the same time my body is next to them.  It’s easy for my mind to wander to work, to the big game, to my next blog post, to anything.  If I’m serious about quality time, I need to focus on my wife and kids when I’m with them.

Quality time means making the time.  In our house, it feels like we are so busy going from one activity to the next.  We go to work, school, sports, scouts, piano, small groups, church, school activities, puppy club, etc.  All these things are great, but they can crowd out time to spend in relationship together.  With all of our activities, our family definitely has to be intentional with our time together (and we don’t always get it right).  Try turning off the TV and play a game instead.  Go for a ride in the car together.  Take a walk.  Each of these things can provide quality time for you and your family.

Quality time means saying no.  Sometimes, we have to say no to activities that are demanding our attention.  I was struck by Isaac’s decision this weekend to miss out on an event that he normally would have jumped at the chance to attend.  He decided that he needed a break – that it was okay if he didn’t make it this time.  I applaud him for deciding to hang out with his parents.

Quality time means being creative.  This past weekend, I had the honor of taking Hannah out for a date.  We ended up going to the gym to work out which honestly didn’t give us any quality time together; however, we followed up the gym with her first trip to Kiwi Yogurt, a local frozen yogurt place.  We picked out our treats and we headed to the car where we enjoyed our frozen desserts and some great conversation about heading to high school next year.  Think outside the box when it comes to creating quality times for you and your family.

Quality time is important.  I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize that I rushed through it just to get to the next thing.

What does quality time look like for you?  How do you make quality time in your life?

Stretching To A New Focus – Guest Post by Leah Adams

Today, The Stretched Blog features guest blogger, Leah Adams.  Leah blogs over at The Point.  I’m grateful to share Leah’s story about how she feels STRETCHED these days.  As always, stop over to her blog after you read her post.  Become one of her regular readers.  Leah’s bio and contact information are at the bottom of this post.

(If you are feeling that STRETCHING feeling these days, I’d love to share your STRETCHING experience here.  Drop me a line if you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger.)

I think God is the originator of the concept of stretching. He never lets us be comfortable for very long before He sends us a challenge designed to stretch our faith in Him.

So it is with me and the ministry He called me to several years ago. My passion is speaking. Specifically, my passion is teaching the Word of God. The focus of that passion has been speaking to women about the love and grace of Jesus. That is what God has allowed me to do for the past four years.

Now, it seems that He has decided it is time for Leah to S-T-R-E-E-E-E-T-C-H. In the past year the Lord has sparked a fire in my heart for young men and women in the 16 to 29 age range. Why this group? Probably, because this is a hugely unreached group with regard to the church. It all started when I read David Kinnaman’s book entitled unchristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity and Why It Matters. Peeps, we are losing this generation of young people from the church and it is primarily because we, in the church, often do not act like Christ would have acted. We don’t love like Christ. We don’t care like Christ. Because of that, WE are driving young people away from the church by the thousands.

Last fall, I had the opportunity to become involved with a couple who do ministry to international students studying in the US. Oh my word! My eyes were opened to a huge, wide open mission field. There are thousands of students from other countries studying in the United States and over 90% of them are never inside an American home. What a missed opportunity to share Jesus’ love!

These students are eager to learn about American culture and engage with American people, yet, we never take the time to get to know them, show them we care, be there for them if they have a problem. We could so easily be surrogate family to these students who are thousands of miles away from home, yet the church of Jesus is often oblivious to them.

There is a small, four year college very near my home in rural northern Georgia. I called over to the admissions office one day in the fall of 2011 and asked if they had any international students. I figured I was wasting my time, but felt the urging of the Lord to call, so I did. I was stunned when they told me they had 38 international students. Thirty eight international students right on my doorstep! My heart did back-flips.

My Tuesday morning Bible study ladies and I have begun to engage with these students. We took them goodies bags during fall semester final exams. We did a meet and greet with them. In late February we plan to do a bonfire and marshmallow roast for them. A bowling trip. Provide rides to the grocery for them. Movie night. Anything we can do to show them friendship and love is what we plan to do.

Last week I sat with one young man—and when I say young man, I mean probably 18 years old at the most—who had been at the local college for only 2 weeks. He was a soft-spoken runner from Kenya. We talked about how he likes America, his scholarship to run, and when he would go back home to visit. He told me he would not go back for 5 years. FIVE STINKING YEARS without seeing his family! I nearly bawled right in front of him. He is just a baby and he will be in a strange foreign country where he knows no one for 5 years. He held back tears as we spoke, too.

Ya’ll, this is low hanging fruit as far as I am concerned. These young men and women are so hungry for love and family. To show the love of Jesus to these students is my new passion and it is how God is S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-N-G me.

How have you been STRETCHED in your focus recently?

BIO

Leah describes herself as the “prodigal son’s sister” after spending several years walking far from the Lord in her twenties. Helping others understand the grace that is offered by Jesus to anyone who will accept it is the passion of Leah’s heart. In a works-based and failure-prone society, grace is a concept that many people have difficulty grasping and Leah’s speaking and writing ministry, called The Point Ministries, seeks to point others straight to Jesus and his amazing grace.

An anointed speaker and communicator, Leah lives in northern Georgia with her husband, Greg, who is also her dentist. She holds a Doctor of Pharmacy Degree from Mercer University School of Pharmacy. Leah is a CLASS certified speaker and is the author of a Bible study for ladies entitled, From the Trash Pile to the Treasure Chest: Creating a Godly Legacy. She writes for Internet Café Devotions, CBN.com and Christianparenting.org. Visit Leah at her ministry website at www.leahadams.org. Find Leah on Facebook at Leah Colwell Adams and on Twitter (@PointMinistries).

Book Review: Jolt! by Phil Cooke

This weekend, I finished reading my second book of the year – Jolt! by Phil Cooke.  (Hopefully, I can keep this momentum going.)

I had never heard of Jolt! or Phil Cooke before I received a free copy of this book thanks to Brandon Gililland who gave me a copy as part of a contest he was running on his blog.  Thanks, Brandon!

The subtitle for Phil Cooke’s book is “Get the jump on a world that’s constantly changing.”  In Jolt!, Cooke provides his take on how to keep up with what keeps changing in today’s world, while staying grounded and energized.  The book is broken up into five sections which encourage readers to “jolt” different parts of their lives and perspective.  Cooke encourages readers to “jolt” their direction, “jolt” what matters, “jolt” their potential, “jolt” their heart, and “jolt” their future.

Many parts of this book seemed to echo others books that I’ve read encouraging readers to have goals, stay focused, and adapt to change.  I didn’t find any parts of the book shocking or extremely “jolting”, but I was challenged and stretched by the reminders.  I liked the way Cooke integrated quotes and personal stories to demonstrate his points.  I also appreciated the application to my work.  Jolt! stretched me to be more intentional when it comes to encouraging creative thinking and independent decision-making in my department.  Jolt! also stretched me personally to keep learning, keep giving, and keep accountability in my life.

All in all, I give Jolt! four “stretch marks” out of five.  I’d recommend this book whether you need a kick in the pants related to your personal or business growth.  You can purchase a copy of Jolt! by clicking the link below.  Also, consider jumping over to Phil Cooke’s blog for more insight.

When was the last time you were shocked or jolted?  How did that go?  What needs a good “jolt” in your life right now?

January 14, 2012 Week In Review

This has been an exciting week for The Stretched Blog!  On Thursday, we moved over to our own domain (from the WordPress domain).  Traffic on the old and new sites remained high this week, and I’m looking forward to the week ahead where I’ll be reviewing The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, Frank Chiapperino will be visiting the blog on Wednesday, and The Stretched Blog will be visiting The Point on Thursday.

This week was truly a blessing as we made the transition to the new platform.  Monday’s post featured my first eBook review of Michael D. Perkin‘s Manifesto on Being Myself.  Tuesday, I shared some of my thoughts from Matthew 6.  On Wednesday, Brandon Gilliland stopped by to share his thoughts on discerning God’s will.  The new platform was introduced on Thursday.  And we ended the week with another fun ice breaker question about going back to the future.

Your continued contribution to the blog through comments is greatly appreciated.  Your comments are what makes this Stretched Community!  Please remember to take the time to Subscribe to the NEW blog, so you can have Stretched delivered daily to your e-mail inbox.  Also, don’t forget to stop by the Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook fan page.  Become a fan to keep up with some additional Stretched stuff.  I am sharing more blog highlights from other blogs that I read regularly.  I think you’ll find some great stuff here.  Thanks!

Here are a few of my favorites from around the blog world this week:

• 5 Books Every Millennial Leader Should Read in 2012 by Jeremy Chandler at MillennialLeader.com
• The Remedy by Ryan Tate at The Compelling Parade
• Theology of a Teenager, Part 1 and Theology of a Teenager, Part 2 by Heather Zempel at HeatherZempel.com

How about you?  How was your week?  If you’re a blogger what happened over your way this week?  Did you read any great blog posts this week?  Share with the rest of us!

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

My Grandpa

Grandpa and The Stolpe Boys

When I get to this time of year, I often think about my Grandpa Stolpe.  (I’ll tell you why tomorrow.)  My Grandpa passed away a few years ago, and he is missed by his whole family.  Grandpa has two kids, seven grandchildren, and fifteen great-grandchildren.  I’m sure each one of us would have a different perspective on our grandfather, and I wanted to share a little bit about my take on the man my cousin calls Big Grey.

Grandpa was first and foremost a follower of Christ.  He lived it.  He breathed it.  He provided a clear example that Christ should come first in our lives.  I remember Grandpa leading us in prayer and Bible reading when we sat down for breakfast when we were there for a visit.  He was always involved at church.  And he had a huge heart for missions and bringing God’s love to everyone around the world.  As we sat down for breakfast, I remember Grandma and Grandpa praying specifically for missionaries around the world.

Grandpa was a killer croquet player.  Whenever we went over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, the croquet set would come out of the garage and the croquet match to end all croquet matches would begin.  Grandpa knew the rules like the back of his hand, and he was always quick to teach us the correct way to play the game.  After Grandpa beat the rest of us around the croquet course, he would go back and knock out the older cousins so the younger grandchildren could win.

Grandpa had a great sense of humor.  Some of my cousins and siblings might argue with me on this, but this is something I carry with me.  Grandpa had a desire to make everyone laugh.  He always had a corny joke or response that broke the ice and made you chuckle.  For example, when the cantaloupe came out, he would say, “I can’t elope.  I’m already married to Grandma.”  Or if we had nectarines, he would say “I don’t neck with Irene; I neck with Grandma.”  I’m proud to say that I picked up some of that humor.

Grandpa was Swedish.  Grandpa knew how to speak Swedish.  He shared the Swedish traditions with our family – especially the Christmas Swedish traditions.  I big part of celebrating Christmas is eating the Swedish food.  I attribute this to my Grandma and Grandpa.  At Grandpa’s funeral, they even sang a Swedish hymn.

Grandpa was an incredible example.  After his faith, his marriage was always his top priority.  He and Grandma were a team.  They complimented each other well.  They put each other first before their own interests and needs.  Grandpa would do anything for Grandma.  After his faith and Grandma, family was a top priority.  He would do anything for all of us.  He always wanted the best for each one of us.  He and Grandma prayed consistently for each one of us.  Grandpa had a special relationship with each of us.  When we showed up for a visit, he showed us off like we were movie stars.

I share about my Grandpa to brag, to share, and to remember.

Who in your life to you want to remember and why?

Jimmy Buffett, Taffy, and Church Searches – Stretching Through Blogging Blunders

Today, I have the privilege of presenting Larry “The Deuce” Carter.  Larry and I recently became friends thanks to the wonders of the on-line blog world.  Larry puts out some pretty thought-provoking posts at his blog, Deuceology, and his comments at Jon Stolpe Stretched and on other blogs always make you think and usually make you laugh.  Today, Larry shares how he is currently being stretched.  Please join in the conversation here and also hook up with Larry on his blog and via Twitter.

(I’m always looking for guest bloggers who are interested in sharing their “Stretch” stories with the Stretched Community.  If you’re interested in writing a guest post, leave a comment, so I can hook up with you.)

I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into when I answered the call to guest-post for Jon. I hadn’t followed him long enough to pick up on the stretched motif of his blog. But when he told me that I should discuss being stretched, I didn’t have to think long before I came up with an idea since I’m in the process of being stretched right now.

I have my own blog over at http://deuceology.wordpress.com. Without going into tremendous detail, I wrote some things that I shouldn’t have written. Some of these things were disrespectful of some people who I have known for several years. Some difficulty ensued which resulted in my family and I leaving my church.

There you have it. I said the wrong things in my blog. I left my church. Guess who’s to blame? Oh, I would love to blame someone else, but just like Jimmy Buffett realized in Margaritaville, it’s my fault and no one else’s.

So, how has that stretched me?

Well, it certainly has matured me in my blogging. Despite being forty-three years old, I can still be a bit childish on occasion.  I certainly proved that.  So, I was stretched and learned a great lesson about blogging.  It’s made me a better blogger.  It’s helped me in the direction of my blog.  I’ve so many lessons about blogging through this that I would never have learned.  However, that probably isn’t the best way I’m being stretched right now.

How else am I being stretched? Well, I’m about to begin a search for a new church. While a bit exciting, I also face it with a bit of trepidation. New church. New pastor. New people. It may be enjoyable, but it certainly isn’t comfortable.  Despite my failure, God is going to use this failure in my life to put me in a new place to worship and serve Him.

There you have it. I’ve been stretched like taffy and foresee it continuing for a while.  Would you pray with me as I begin this new phase of my life?

How have you been stretched through mistakes in blogging?  How about during a church search?

Spur One Another On – Are You Being Spurred?

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:23-25

What do these words mean to you?

Last night, I met with my MEAT group.  I honestly felt like I was called out on the carpet for a few things that I had mentioned to another person in the group.  I’m not sure if it felt right to be singled out for my comments, but I will say that it permitted conversation within the group that spurred me on – and hopefully spurred others on in the group.

When we think of what it means to be in fellowship with one another, we all come into the discussion with different ideas from our past experiences, from our education, and from our own expectations.  I’ve been doing small group stuff for a while now, and even though I’m extremely open to what could be considered a small group, I still have my own preconceived ideas for what life in a small group looks like.  I don’t always get it right.

Last night, I was definitely spurred on.  I think the conversation last night spurred others on as well.  I think it provided encouragement, support, and accountability.  Being part of a group where this type of conversation can take place is important.  It’s important for testing and growing our faith.  It’s important for support.  Many of these guys were here for me as my family went through challenging times over the past year.  It’s also important for uplifting the soul.  We laugh a lot at our weekly MEAT meetings, and laughter can be such great medicine for the soul.

Are you part of a group like this?

What are the key ingredients for a small group?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

A Rock Is A Good Place To Kiss

As I was thinking about today’s post, I was reminded of a reason to celebrate at this time of year!  On October 10, 1993, Leanne and I shared our first kiss on a rock along the river at McConnell’s Mills a park a little south of Grove City.  I still remember this day like it was yesterday….

Leanne and I picked up sandwiches at Subway when we left campus after church on this particular Sunday.  I think I had a cold cut trio sandwich, and Leanne may have had the same.  We parked in the upper portion of the park and walked down to the covered bridge near the old mill.  From there we walked along a path by the river until we discovered a perfect rock.  Here we sat and ate our lunch, we enjoyed each others company and conversation, and then it happened!  We shared our first kiss – my first kiss!  I was blown away!  The rest of the day gets a little more blurry….

When we arrived back at campus, I dropped Leanne off at her dorm.  It was an awkward goodbye.  Do we share another kiss?  When will we see each other next?  So many new questions.  From there, I walked back to my dorm room, it was a little crazy back in Lincoln.  My room was filled with my roommates and friends watching Sunday afternoon football.  I wasn’t quite ready for the crowd.  I just wanted to lay down on my bed and process what had just happened.  A couple of my friends picked up on the glow that must have been coming from my face.

That night at Hicks Dining Hall, I remember running into one of Leanne’s friends as I carried my tray to the salad bar.  Her friend must have thought I was pretty clumsy as I dropped my tray all over the floor at the dining hall.  I think my nerves were on the edge as I was still processing the days’ big event.  At any rate, Leanne’s friend still speaks with me, so it must not have left too much of an impression.

To make the story a little more amusing, Leanne and I went back to the same rock when year later when I returned to campus for a visit.  1994 was a bit colder than 1993, and the water was higher, so we couldn’t sit right on the same rock as we shared our Subway sandwiches.  As our time together was drawing to a close, I thought it would be a good idea to climb down to the rock where we shared the actual kiss.  Little did I know that the rock was now covered in a slippery moss.  As I stepped onto the rock, my feet began to slide and before I knew it, I was up to my shoulders in freezing cold river water.  Talk about embarrassing!  As Leanne helped me out of the water and we walked back up to the car, we laughed as we shared a new humorous memory connected with our special place.

I’m so thankful for these memories and the chance to celebrate the good that God has done in our relationship.  As we approach this special milestone in our relationship, I praise God for allowing our lives to intersect and become one.  God is good!

Okay, time for you to share a special or embarrassing moment.  Come on!  Let us celebrate and laugh with you.

Magic Boy and Super Sitter

It’s hard to believe how quickly our kids grow.  This picture was taken the first day of school (this year), and I think they’ve grown another few inches since then.  A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids with us to visit Grove City College for Homecoming and Leanne’s 15th Class Reunion.  Leanne and I felt especially “older” as our kids were clearly the oldest kids among Leanne’s classmates.

One of the cool things about our visit was how our friends’ kids were attracted to our kids.  When we were walking over to line up for the parade, one of our friends’ kids ran up to Isaac and said, “Hey Magic Boy, do a magic trick!”  And he was completely serious.  He had been to our home a month or two prior to homecoming and remembered Isaac doing magic tricks for the kids.  Leanne and I often remark to each other how much of a performer our son can be.  He loves to put on shows for people.  He is the first to jump on the piano or to take out his trumpet when guests come over.  We sometimes wonder what Isaac will do when he grows up.  Perhaps, he’ll be the ring master for a circus, a musician, or a preacher or worship leader.  It’s fun to imagine as we watch our son bloom.

At Grove City, most of the kids were attracted to Hannah.  And many of the parents were putting bids on Hannah to come to their homes over the summer to watch their kids.  Hannah is a leader and a care-giver.  She knows how to take charge and how to have compassion.  She had the opportunity to hold a baby, and it was fun to watch her as the baby fell asleep in her arms.  She also was the leader for the preschoolers and elementary kids as they made up games and did crafts together.  Leanne and I often say that Hannah will have an interesting future.  Will she be a teacher, a missionary, a mom, or president of some organization?  Like her brother, it’s fun to watch as our daughter matures and becomes a young lady.

As we watch our kids grow, we have come to know and realize that time goes so quickly.  Each moment is precious as they fly by before our eyes.  It’s for this reason that I often say that Paul’s call in Colossians to “make the most of every opportunity” was about sharing our faith, but it’s also a great reminder to take advantage of the time we have with our kids.  Walking around Grove City College a couple of weeks ago with our kids was a huge reminder that our kids will be venturing to college before we know it.  We need to make the most of these days we have with “Magic Boy” and “Super Sitter.”

What characteristics and gifts to you see developing in your children?  What are you doing to make the most of the opportunities you have with your children?