Soul Surfer
Last night, Leanne, Hannah, and I went to see Soul Surfer at a local treasure, The Grand, an old-style movie theater up in Greenville, PA. The Grand is a great place to catch a movie. There’s an organ up in the front that plays music while you wait for the show to start. The ticket prices are reasonable ($3 matinée and $5 evening). The snack prices won’t break the bank. And we only had to watch one preview. We’ve seen a few movies here over the past few years, and we’ve always been impressed by the service and show. Last night was no exception.
Soul Surfer is a movie based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a teenage surfing sensation who loses her arm to a shark attack. As her family wrestles with the aftermath of this accident, they must all come to terms with their faith and their future. I was very impressed how this was showcased in the movie. The movie does not back down from being bold about God’s role in this families life. As Leanne and I sat there watching, I believe we both resonated with the messages of this movie.
God has a plan for our lives despite events that seem so tragic.
God works good in everything – even though we can’t see it all.
Sometimes we don’t know all the answers for tomorrow, and we just need to wait.
When “junk” happens in our lives, we have two choices. We can sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, or we can get back up and keep going forward.
The “junk” can actually be the catalyst in our lives to give us greater opportunity.
I hold this hope for our own lives, and I’m thankful for the cinematic reminder last night. I’d definitely recommend this movie, and I’d definitely recommend a night at The Grand.
The Parable Blogs
I recently received a request to keep blogging about the parables following my last two posts. And I guess I’ll keep that under consideration, but I’m warning myself and the readers that it could get pretty convicting. I was paging through Luke just now, and some of these parables may get under our skin. I guess that’s the point though, so we’ll see what the next few days bring. If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, let me know with a simple comments back. Thanks!
Until then, Happy Friday!
The Prodigal Son – The Older Son
The painting above by Rembrandt depicts the story of The Prodigal Son. In the forefront, you see the lost son being embraced by the loving father. And I’m guessing that the middle figure in the back behind the father is the older son. Here are some of my thoughts about this story.
A couple of weeks ago at my men’s group, we were discussing different parables that we liked and disliked. We talked about different ones and what they meant. One of the parables we talked about more extensively was The Parable of the Lost Son (or The Prodigal Son). This story told by Jesus in Luke 15 is an amazing story about a runaway son who finds redemption, about a loving father who grants forgiveness, and about an older son who is conflicted by the happenings surrounding his brother and his father.
I love this story and I dislike the story all at the same time. I love that we all are offered forgiveness and grace. We have all screwed up, and our Father runs to us with open arms as we return to Him. I identify with the older son who seems to have done everything correctly, but who sometimes feels lost in the shadows as those around me celebrate the stories of people who have “returned home” following a path of drunkenness, debauchery, and destruction. I know this sounds selfish and shortsighted, and it is. But it’s also an honest response. I am so thankful for my upbringing, my early found faith, and my journey. And I really don’t want any turmoil or trouble in my life that could come as a result of straying from God. But there are times where I feel overlooked or undervalued because I don’t have a more colorful story of how I was lost but found Christ.
Just a window into my thoughts – enough whining! Whether you relate to the younger son or the older son, we can all be thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness. We can all experience redemption. And I think this is why I ultimately love this story. It convicts me of my own selfishness and jealousy, and it offers a clear hope for me. You see, I believe the Father would do anything for both of the sons. He loves both of them lavishly and completely. God, my Father, loves me despite my junk.
Do you believe that? How do you relate to this story?
2011 – New Hobby – Geocaching
As we start 2011, our family has jumped into the world of geocaching. “Geocaching is a high-tech treasure hunting game played throughout the world by adventure seekers equipped with GPS devices. The basic idea is to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online. Geocaching is enjoyed by people from all age groups, with a strong sense of community and support for the environment.” So far our family has had a blast with the new hobby. We’ve found out about former baseball pitcher Nellie Briles. We now know that there are six windmills that can be seen just east of the Somerset service plaza on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. And we’ve found parks that we never knew about – like Brown Street Park in Spring City, PA.
So far, we’ve found 31 caches. And we’re looking forward to many more discoveries.
The best part about geocaching is that we can enjoy it together. It’s so much fun to see our kids walking ahead of us in search of the next hidden cache. It’s fun to be together outside away from all the other distractions. Each time we go out to find a new cache, we are creating memories that will last a life time.
We’re still learning a lot about this new hobby. If you’re a geocacher, we’d love to hear from you. What is your favorite find? What was one of your most challenging caches? Do you have any good tips for newbies like us?
I can’t wait for this weekend when we can get out and do more treasure hunting TOGETHER!
Happy Friday!
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 4 (Boundaries)
Week 4 – Establishing Appropriate Boundaries
Icebreaker Question: Where is the farthest place that you have ever traveled from your home?
I have learned to enjoy exploring and experiencing new places. At press time, I believe that I have visited 36 of the 50 states, and I have traveled to three other countries. Honolulu, Hawaii is probably the place I’ve visited that is furthest from my home. However, my two trips to France are probably where I felt the furthest from home. When you’re not familiar with the location, the language, the currency, and the culture, it can feel like you’ve traveled to another planet.
The higher speed and relatively lower cost of travel have made it easier to travel away from the boundaries of our home town.
As parents, our responsibility is it to set up appropriate boundaries for our children. These boundaries are meant to keep our kids safe, to protect property, to prevent psychological damage, and to promote respect for others. Boundaries provide children with a secure framework in which they can grow. As our kids get older, we allow these boundaries to expand. Hopefully, by the time we release our children from our care, they will be better prepared to set up their own boundaries.
boundary – The dividing line or location between two areas.
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/boundary
This week we’re talking about establishing appropriate boundaries. The Supernanny DVD clips this week give some ideas for creating boundaries related to safety, health, and family togetherness. Kids are not designed to run around without boundaries. The novel Lord of the Flies by William Golding provides a glimpse into what might happen with our kids if they were left without clear limits. In this book, several 6 to 12 year olds turn to barbarism when they are stranded without adult supervision on a deserted island. While this is just a story, it does remind us that we have an important role in our kids’ lives. We are responsible for setting boundaries for our kids that will keep them safe and will help them grow into responsible adults.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Riries Family Episode DVD Disc 2: 0:54-2:38, 3:46-5:18, 6:03-10:15, 11:42-13:10, 16:25-25:45, and 36:54-40:02. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. What observations can you make from the DVD clips that relate to establishing appropriate boundaries?
Different boundaries are required based on the age and development of your child. When children are toddlers, you may need to set boundaries so they don’t wander into the street or down the stairs. As they approach preschool and elementary school, kids need to know who they should and shouldn’t talk to – “Don’t talk to strangers.” As they continue to get older they will need monitoring related to their computer/internet use and their television/movie viewing. There are many different types of boundaries to consider.
2. What are some of the boundaries that you have set up for your children?
3. How do you determine what boundaries to put into place in your home?
Setting limits is another way to look at setting boundaries. Limits are not a negative thing. For example, I need to set limits on the amount of food that I consume. I like ice cream, but if I eat too much ice cream, my cholesterol will get even higher, my weight will increase, and my overall all health will deteriorate. The notes below provide some interesting things to consider when setting up limits.
Limit Your Limits
Limits must reflect your deeply held values. This conviction is what you draw on every time the limit is broken/tested, and you must enforce it. Children respond to limits that are real priorities for parents. Reduce the number of limits to the ones that really count. Limiting behavior that harms others or is deliberate disobedience is important at any age.
Set Reasonable Limits
What are reasonable limits? Reasonable means limits that allow a child to succeed. Parents are in the best position to determine “reasonable.” Tune in to the child’s individual personality and needs. Some limits are unreasonable because they are not humanly possible. Expecting too much can lower self-esteem and cause stress in your child. The child may become angry with him/herself for failing, or he/she may give up even trying. The child may also become angry and more defiant. Either way, if a child can not be good at succeeding, he/she is going to be tempted to be good at failing.
Clear and Positive
Children know what we expect of them only when we tell them in clear terms. Limits tell children what to do and how well it should be done (the standard). Make sure you have their attention. Children who understand the limits are much more likely to assume responsibility for their actions.
Consistent
Limits should not change from day-to-day or setting to setting. Inconsistently enforced limits are very confusing to children. Parents should discuss and agree on limits before they are presented to the children so there is a consistent response. This discussion and a consistent response will eliminate the, “well, mom always lets me do that when you aren’t here.” If children receive mixed messages about limits, they will test the limits more often.
Adapting
Many limits continue from year to year. Expecting children to treat one another’s possessions carefully is a reasonable limit at any age. Other limits should be changed as children grow older. Yet knowing when to make these changes and explaining them to children can be a difficult challenge for parents. Fortunately, the parents’ skills at setting limits improves with practice.
Input
Your children often have wonderful ideas and opinions about limits. By involving them in “limit discussions,” parents are more likely to gain their children’s cooperation in meeting the limit. “Discussions” do not always mean agreement. For some limits, there is no appeal process regardless of the child’s protests.
Whys
Explain the “why” behind the limit. Can a child verbalize the reason for the limit? Explanations make sense only if the limits are reasonable, clear, positive, enforceable, and very dear to values and convictions. If children
understand the whys, they are more likely to accept them.
Enforceable
Children are going to “try” the limit, and parents must be willing to stand tough. In testing the limit, children are testing parental commitment to their word. Children want their parents to love them enough to stand up for their deepest beliefs consistently.
Charles A. Smith, Extension specialist from Kansas State University, shares these ideas for responsive discipline from The Discipline Toolbox that might be helpful in practicing the keys to effective limits.
Taken from: http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5317.html
4. Read the following verses from the Bible. What do they say about this topic and how can we apply them in our families?
Deuteronomy 28:1-2
1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God.
Philippians 2:3-4
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on establishing appropriate boundaries.
Take Home Activity: Draw a map of your neighborhood and of your home. Use different colors to represent places that are safe and places that are off-limits. Use RED markers or crayons to indicate areas that are completely off-limits. Use GREEN markers or crayons to indicate areas that are safe. And use ORANGE markers to indicate areas that require parental support/escort.
For example, you might color the kitchen, bedrooms, and bathrooms with a GREEN marker to indicate that they are safe. You might color the computer, television, and pantry ORANGE indicating that parental support is required. Finally, you might color the street or the tool shed RED to show that the kids are not allowed in these areas no matter what.
Allow your kids to get in on the discussion related to this mapping. Make sure that they feel like contributors to the process. Help them to understand why certain areas need to be off-limits.
Finally, bring your map to next week’s session. Have fun!
Note to leader: If time and resources permit, pick up poster board along with red, orange, and green markers to pass out to each family.
Next week’s topic: Handling Sibling Differences
Looking Ahead: Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Group – Routine (Week 1)
As I promised in my previous post, here is the discussion guide for week 1 of our Supernanny parenting discussion group. This week we concentrate on the importance of routine.
Week 1 – Routine
Icebreaker Question: Tell the group about a time when you got in trouble as a kid and describe the consequences of your actions.
When I was a kid, I can specifically remember riding my red bike with a black banana seat way outside of the boundaries that my parents had set for me. My bike was notorious for eating up the pant legs of my favorite Toughskins® jeans. Needless to say, one time when I was out-of-bounds, my pant legs jammed up in my bike chain and I couldn’t get them out. A friendly stranger took the time to cut my pant leg out of the chain, load up my bike in her car, and drive me home. My parents were obviously disappointed and I was in big trouble. I was grounded for a whole week. I wasn’t permitted to play outside with my friends or to watch television for the whole week. As a first or second grader, it felt like I had been sent to maximum security prison.
Stories like these remind us that we were not perfect children. We didn’t always make the right choices. It’s helpful to remember this when we think about our own children. They will make bad choices sometimes also. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s move into our topic for tonight.
routine A course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/routine
Families often struggle with a chaotic existence – running from activity to activity, trying to jam down a quick bite to eat, squeezing in homework, rushing to catch the bus, wrestling with work, etc. We live this way day after day, week after week, month after month. In this midst of this hustle and bustle, our parenting takes on a survival mentality. Wouldn’t it be great if we could change this?
This week we’ll tackle the subject of routine in our families. The Supernanny DVD clips will give us a glimpse into a family without a routine. The video will also demonstrate the importance of routine in our homes. Grab a comfortable seat, get the popcorn, and get ready for a lively discussion on routine.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Bullard Family Episode DVD Disk 1: 1:33-3:34, 6:21-12:51, 14:00-14:37, 17:33-18:42, and 36:30-40:10. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. How do the DVD clips we just viewed relate to routine?
2. Why is a routine important?
We send mixed messages to our kids when we aren’t consistent even in our schedules. For example, if we aren’t consistent in putting our kids to bed at the same time each night, they will probably develop problems with going to bed. If we aren’t consistent with meal times and snack times, our kids will develop unhealthy eating patterns. Meal times will also tend towards chaotic instead of connecting. Establishing a routine for your family helps kids develop healthy patterns for the future.
3. What specific things have you done at your home to encourage a family routine?
Every family will have variations to their own routines that work for them. Here are some helpful tips as you think about routine in your own home.
To create routines that work for you and your children, keep the following points in mind:
- Have realistic expectations. Be aware of your children’s capabilities and know when you are asking too much.
- Be consistent. Follow the same routine each day so that your kids know what is expected of them.
- Set clear limits and discuss them in advance. This allows children to understand when things will occur, and gives them time to prepare themselves for what is coming next.
- Provide cues for transition times. This can be extremely helpful, since children do not tell time.
- Be flexible. Adapt your routines as your children grow and change.
Taken from: http://www.pbs.org/parenttales/consistency.htm
4.The Bible provides interesting insights into many areas of our lives. How do the verses below relate to this session’s topic?
Proverbs 24:30-34 (TNIV)
30 I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; 31 thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. 32 I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: 33 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— 34 and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 25:28 (TNIV) 28 Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on routine.
Take Home Activity: Work together as a couple, as a family, or individually to come up with a schedule that works for you and your family. Be as detailed as possible. Be sure to include things like meal times, bed times, etc. Begin to implement the schedule before next week. Come to next week’s group prepared to share your schedule and how things are going so far.
Note to leader: If time and resources permit, pick up poster board to give out to each parent or couple. Tell them to put there schedule on the poster board and bring it back next week.
Next week’s topic: RESPECT
Looking Ahead: Week 3 – Teamwork, Week 4 – Establishing Appropriate Boundaries, Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences, Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Power Supply
Today, I had lunch with a good friend of mine who reminded me of this verse from I Corinthians 12.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Over the past couple of months, I have realized how weak I am. And I have realized how much I need to depend on God’s grace. It has been such a comfort and strength to experience the sufficient power that God has supplied.
Camporee – My Son Is Growing Up
This morning, I dropped Isaac off for a Boy Scout Camporee sponsored by Schwenksville Boy Scout Troop 105. Last year, I attended this event with him, and I had a blast despite the rain. This year, we decided to let him camp without me. In some ways, I was sad that I wasn’t going to be there to enjoy the fun, but I was looking forward to being with Leanne and Hannah. And the more I thought about it, I was excited that Isaac would have an opportunity to stretch his own wings by camping without me.
In February, he will be making the transition from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. As part of this transition, leadership and responsibility shifts from the parents to the boys. In some ways, it’s hard to see our son growing up so quickly, but I am honestly so proud of him. And I’m looking forward to watching him grow as he becomes a young man.
Praise You In This Storm
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ]This morning, I heard this song by Casting Crowns while driving to work. If I remember correctly, this song was used in one of my favorite movies – Facing the Giants.
At any rate, I couldn’t help but think of my journey over the past couple of months. I wish I could say that in the storms I always had praise for God. I wish I could say that I was rock solid even when the ground around me seemed so shaky. Honestly, it hasn’t always been that easy. I’ve had questions. I’ve had doubts. Quite frankly, I’ve been mad at times. Having said that, I’m thankful for the moments when I have remembered to praise God – even in the storm. I have seen God working through my kids, through our neighbors, and through our family and friends. I have heard God speak to me through His Word and through the storm.
The past couple of days have been good. I’m thankful for that. I’m looking forward to the weekend with my family. I’m thankful for the calm that follows the storm.
Helping Hands
Over the past several weeks, I have come to realize how important it is to have helping hands in our lives – friends and families who have our backs. When life gets stormy, we need people in our lives who will go to extremes to keep our heads above water. These weeks have reminded me how blessed I am to have these types of people in my life. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had friends pray with me. I’ve had friends and family call me to check in. I’ve had friends bring meals over. I’ve had friends and family take care of the kids. I’ve had family and friends pick up a few things at the grocery store at just the right time. I’ve had friends come over to clean up my flooded basement. And these are just a few of the ways that I’ve been supported over the past few weeks. There is no doubt that I am blessed with an amazing support structure.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few weeks. The sad thing is that there are many people out there who do not have any kind of support structure to help them weather the storms of life. They must feel like someone lost at sea without hope or help.
– How and why do people become so isolated?
– How can I help people who don’t have support in the storms of life?
– How can I inspire people to reach out to their neighbors who might need a meal, a blanket, or even just a hug?
These are just a few of my questions. I realize that it’s important at this time to make sure our family gets our feet back on the ground. But I’m still looking ahead to the future – in hope, that I can lend a helping hand to those in need.