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To get you up to speed without all the details, Bill Hybels, who started Willow Creek Community Church and led it to become one of the biggest mega-churches in the United States, retired “early” a few months ago following growing allegations of sexual misconduct, affairs, and mistreatment of women.
When reports initially surfaced several months ago, the leadership at Willow protected Hybels (and themselves) while discounting the accounts of several women who accused Hybels of inappropriate actions.
Over the past week in the wake of a tenth woman coming forward with specific details of Hybels’ misconduct the elders and lead pastors at Willow resigned finally apologizing to the women who had been hurt by Hybels (and the board’s previous discredit of their testimony) and to the congregation for poor leadership and even misleading. And they called on Hybels to apologize and state the truth about the accusations.
While we were on vacation, we ran into a couple who go to Willow Creek Community Church. When we spoke to them early in the week, the elder board resignation had not yet happened. It was interesting for me to listen to them as they blamed the women (Nancy Beach and Nancy Ortberg in particular) for the recent problems at Willow. They seemed to have the same mindset of the board prior to their resignation. (We did not see them again, so I don’t know if their perspective changed following Wednesday night’s resignations.)
On the way home from Arizona yesterday, we “ran” into famous baseball pitcher, Randy Johnson, at the Phoenix airport. (I actually spotted him from across the security check-in area. I’m pretty sure he didn’t see me.) It’s easy to get excited when we run into someone we consider famous like Randy Johnson, Lynn Swan, and even Bill Hybels (these are some of the “famous” people with whom I’ve crossed paths).
I’ve had the opportunity to hear Bill Hybels preach and speak in person, and I’ve been to Willow Creek several times for small group leadership conferences. I’ve also read a couple of books by Bill Hybels. Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Community Church have had a profound impact on many, many people. Thousands of people have been introduced to Jesus as a result of Hybels and Willow. And Willow Creek as been a model for many, many churches across the country and around the world.
This is good on one hand, but it is also scary on the other hand.
I don’t write about these kinds of topics very often. I honestly am afraid to say something stupid (maybe I already have in this post). But I’m supposed to be stretching myself and others, so I think it’s important for me to explore my thoughts on topics like this from time to time.
Here are a few things that scare me and/or stretch me about the Bill Hybels/Willow Creek Community Church situation:
I’m not an expert by any “stretch”. I don’t know the intimate details surrounding the Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Community Church situation. I’ve read some of the news articles and opinion pieces (New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Relevant Magazine). I’d encourage you to read for yourself and STRETCH yourself to think about how you can and should respond. I’d also encourage you to watch this video of Willow Creek Elder Missy Rasmussen: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/100031181-132.html.
Stretching is not just about growing our brains by filling them with more information. Stretching is about challenging our minds and hearts and about taking actions that take us out of our comfort zones. Stretching also happens when we pray. I’d encourage you to pray for Bill Hybels, Hybels’ family, Willow Creek Community Church, and the women and their families who have been impacted by this situation. I believe God works in the midst of our messiness, and I believe God will work in this situation.
If you are a pastor or are in church leadership, I’d encourage you to talk about this. Even if your church or ministry is in a healthy place right now, you can learn and grow.
I certainly don’t have all the answers related to this situation. I’d love to read your thoughts. I’d encourage you in your thoughts and comments to seek to be productive and healing. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
This is a question I’ve been asked over and over again.
It’s a humbling question. And to be honest, answering the question with action has actually scared me.
I’ve made excuse after excuse, and I’ve put off hosting this kind of event…until now.
That’s right! I’m pleased to announce I’ll be holding my first book signing event this summer.
Here are the details:
Rooftop Reflections Book Signing
August 18, 2018
10AM – 1PM
for more details and to RSVP: rooftopreflections.com/booksigning
This will be an opportunity to get your own signed copy of Rooftop Reflections and to help further ministry to widows and orphans in Guatemala.
The past two days, I posted a list of the first 20 books I’ve read in 2018 (click here to see part one of the list and click here to see part two of the list). Here’s the next group of books on the list:
The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work by Jon Gordon – I’ve read one or two other books by Jon Gordon, and I really like his writing. He uses storytelling to teach business, leadership, and life principles. This book shows you how you can change a lot by removing complaining. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
The Four Obsessions of an Extraordinary Executive: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni – This is another book I picked up at our local library for 50 cents (or a dollar). I read this book while I was camping in the Poconos over Memorial Day weekend. I really enjoyed this book that has a similar feel to the Jon Gordon book above and the previous Patrick Lencioni book I read earlier in the year. If you want to be an extraordinary leader, you just may want to pick up a copy of this book. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller – Everybody talks about this book, so I decided I should give it a try. Gary Keller (of Keller-Williams) describes the remarkable difference we can make when we resist the urge to dilute our attention. Honestly, I struggle in this area. I’m too spread out in my focus, and this book was a great reminder of the importance of narrowing our focus. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier – I have the opportunity to coach at home, at work, at church, and in my on-line endeavors. This book was an important read for me. I truly want to help people succeed, and this book packs a valuable punch by teaching a structure that will help you get the most out of your coaching conversations. [Note: I read the audible version of this book.]
No Fail Meetings: 5 Steps to Orchestrate Productive Meetings (and Avoid All the Rest) by Michael Hyatt – When I heard this book was coming out, I immediately pre-ordered it. I knew this book at power to change the way I lead and participate in meetings. (My second book on meetings this year.) Michael Hyatt didn’t disappoint in this concise explanation of how to make meetings more productive. [Note: I read the hardcover version and the audio version of this book.]
Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter – The Hamilton Craze has been sweeping our country for the past year or two. I saw In The Heights, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s earlier musical, and I knew I wanted to know more about Hamilton. This book provides a unique look into the story of Hamilton, the man and the musical. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
Imperfect: An Improbable Life by Jim Abbott and Tim Brown – I’m a big baseball fan. When I saw this for sale in the used book area of our local library, I knew I had to pick it up for my own reading pleasure. I really enjoyed getting to know more about Jim Abbott, about his career, and about his life and struggles as told throughout the pages of the book. Abbott overcame unbelievable odds and obstacles to make it to Major League Baseball. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
Why Suffering?: FInding Meaning and Comfort When Life Doesn’t Make Sense by Ravi Zacharias and Vince Vitale – When I was in college, I had the honor of hearing Ravi Zacharias speak at Intervarsity Urbana missions conference. I knew I was listening to someone with a lot of wisdom. I’ve experience some suffering in my life, but I’ve honestly been very blessed as well. This book gave me a refreshing perspective on suffering. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
Make College Count: A Faithful Guide to Life and Learning by Derek Melleby – My friend, Sean McFeely, recommended this book when I told him about Isaac’s “Year of Discipleship”. We read this as our sixth book, and it provided practical reminders for high school students getting ready to transition to life and/or college. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
Due to the overall length of this material, I will be breaking it up into a few posts. Stay tuned for the continuation of my 2018 reading list. I’ve read one or two other books, but I’ll wait until I get to book number 40 before posting the next post in this series. Stay tuned!
Yesterday, I posted a list of the first 10 books I’ve read in 2018 (click here to see part one of the list). Here’s the next group of books on the list:
From Pride to Humility: A Biblical Perspective by Stuart Scott (not the former ESPN analyst) – This was another resource I picked up to prepare for teaching the Stretched Men Group. This is actually an excerpt from one of Stuart’s larger works. The concise nature of this book makes it a quick, easy, and useful read. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren – I read this book several years ago, but I revisited it again as Isaac and I used it as our third book in his “Year of Discipleship”. Rick Warren provides a very important text here in reminding us of our God-given purpose in life. If you’re unsure of your purpose, you should read this book. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
The Five Temptations of a CEO: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni – I picked up a copy of this book for 50 cents (or a dollar) at our local library. The title caught my eye as I have been growing in my leadership role and responsibility at work especially over the past couple of years. Patrick Lencioni weaves an excellent story to help bring out valuable leadership advice – especially for those running their companies. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
Finding Favor: God’s Blessings Beyond Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Brian Jones – I had the privilege of being part of the Finding Favor Launch Team. As such, I had the opportunity of reading a pre-release version of the book. This book changed the way I prayed about a specific situation in my life. Brian Jones will challenge you too to think differently about God’s favor in your life. [Note: I read the pre-release digital version of this book.]
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff – This was my second time through this book, and Love Does was the fourth book in Isaac’s “Year of Discipleship”. What a FANTASTIC book! Bob Goff finds a way to challenge you, make you smile, and make you cry as he tells personal stories of sharing God’s love in whimsical fashion. This is a must-read! [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod – I had heard about this book before, and I decided to give it a read. This book confirmed many of the things I have already put into my morning routine. The book also provided an inspiring look into the life of Hal Elrod. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People by Bob Goff – Having read Love Does, I knew I had to pick up a copy of Bob’s newest book. This did not disappoint. This is another must-read. Bob’s stories will leave you in stitches, in tears, and inspired to love those around you. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World by Adam Grant – My friend, Ellory Wells, recommended this book to me a couple years ago, and I finally got around to reading it this year. Adam Grant uses stories from the past to show how original people have had an impact on this world. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie – This classic was the fifth book in Isaac’s “Year of Discipleship”. I had been introduced to Carnegie’s principles before, but this was the first time through this book. I appreciated the common-sense reminders throughout the book of how we should treat other people. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
Toxic Charity: How Churches and Charities Hurt Those They Help, And How to Reverse It by Robert D. Lupton – This book came at the recommendation of my friend, Shawn Smith. Shawn and I share a passion for sharing God’s love in Guatemala. When Shawn heard Leanne and I were wrestling through how to help in Guatemala, he suggested this book. This book really challenged us and gave us new things to think about as we prepare to serve there again. [Note: I read the Audible version of this book.]
Due to the overall length of this material, I will be breaking it up into a few posts. Stay tuned for the continuation of my 2018 reading list.
At the beginning of this year (2018), I set a goal to read at least 52 books – one book per week on average. I’m happy to say I’m on track to achieve my goal.
Reading is an important discipline. It provides new and different perspectives for learning and STRETCHING. It provides a fun escape to other times and other places. And reading helps keep your brain flexible.
Here’s a list of the books I’ve read so far this year:
Building A Story Brand by Donald Miller – This book provides excellent tips on positioning yourself as a teacher or a guide for your customer. It also teaches you to make your customer the hero of the story. I really appreciated Donald Miller’s teaching in this valuable resource. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
Play the Man by Mark Batterson – I used this book as part of my Stretched Men Group (mastermind group for men). This book lays out the framework for intentionally discipling your sons. Play the Man inspired me to put in motion a “Year of Discipleship” with my own son that has included reading seven books and taking a life-changing trip to Washington State (more on that in a future post). [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks – I read this book at the recommendation of Cliff Ravenscraft. The book talks about dealing with your limiting beliefs in order to be the person you were meant to be. Many of us get stuck in the routines of life. We are often too scared to break out of these comfort areas to go after something bigger and better. This book will make you think again about how you are living your life. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
The Book of Mistakes by Skip Prichard – I had the privilege of reading this book as part of the launch team for the book. The book teaches important leadership advice through the masterful storytelling of Skip Prichard. Once I started reading this book I couldn’t put it down. [Note: I read pre-release digital version of this book.]
The Graduate Survival Guide: 5 Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make in College by Anthony ONeal and Rachel Cruze – This is the first book Isaac and I read together as part of his “Year of Discipleship”. This book simply outlines important reminders for students as they make the transition from high school to college. As this book was released as part of the Dave Ramsey organization, there are a lot of solid financial tips in this practical guidebook. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
Let’s Stop Meeting Like This by Dick and Emily Axelrod – I received a free copy of this book to read in exchange for a review. I liked this book. It provides practical tips for running more effective meetings. In my position, I sit in a lot of meetings, and I also facilitate a lot of meetings. This book was a big help! [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
The #1 Secret of Genuinely Happy People by Brian Jones – I received a free copy of this eBook when I signed up to receive Brian’s newsletter. This book was simple, practical, helpful, and inspiring. If you are looking for a quick and helpful read, check it out. [Note: I read the digital eBook version of this book.]
Wealth Is It Worth It? by S. Truett Cathy (founder of Chick-Fil-A) – Common sense advice and stories from a true business person of character, Truett Cathy provides fantastic leadership and financial wisdom in this handbook. [Note: I read the hardcover version of this book.]
No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green by Melody Green – This is the second book Isaac and I read together as part of our “Year of Discipleship”. This biography tells the riveting story of Keith Green from his youth as a seeking Christian Scientist to his life of sold-out commitment to Jesus Christ. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
Motives of the Heart: A Biblical Study on Pride and Humility by Reb Bradley – I picked up this short book to help me prepare for some teaching I was doing for my Stretched Men Group. This helpful resource dives into the Bible to find helpful teaching and verses on pride and humility. [Note: I read the paperback version of this book.]
Due to the overall length of this material, I will be breaking it up into a few posts. Stay tuned for the continuation of my 2018 reading list.
I’m preparing for an upcoming Toastmasters speech where I will be sharing part of my book, Rooftop Reflections, with meeting attendees. Specifically, I’ll be sharing part of the chapter titled A Broken Heart.
In the video below, there is also an update about our plans for an upcoming trip to Guatemala later this year along with what I’ll be sharing at Toastmasters..
Late last week, I drove through Mt. Holly, NJ. Mt. Holly (and Lumberton) was my hometown for 16 years of my life. I drove past my old house on Glenwood Road in Lumberton. I drove by my church (First Presbyterian Church) on Garden Street in Mt. Holly and my high school (Rancocas Valley Regional High School) on Jacksonville Road. And I stopped on High Street to visit my old barber shop (Don’s Barber Shop). As I stepped through the front door, my usual barber, Pat, smiled and said “Hello, Jon!”
I hadn’t been to Don’s Barber Shop in 16 (or more) years, and Pat still remembered me. She even knew my name.
I climbed up into her chair (easier than I did that first haircut in the early 80s), and I asked her to give me a haircut.
Over the next 20-30 minutes, we caught up. She told me about her 10-year-old granddaughter, and she asked about my parents and my brothers. I showed her updated pictures of my family. And Pat shared a few details about some of the people I knew from my time living in the area.
As I walked out, Pat offered me a pretzel rod. The price of the haircut was a bargain, and I benefited with great conversation, great memories, and a great pretzel rod. I quickly ran back to my car to retrieve a copy of my book, Rooftop Reflections. I walked back in the store, and gave Pat a signed copy as a thank you.
At Don’s Barber Shop, you get more than a haircut. You get a smile. You get a strong sense of community and of belonging. And you get reminder of the truly good things in life.
My passion for Guatemala started several years ago. Here’s the story:
Our family is planning our next trip to Guatemala this December. Here’s how you can help:
At lunch time today, I walked across the street from my office to head to my Toastmasters International regular club meeting. Due to scheduling conflicts, I haven’t been to the club for a couple of months. Prior to my relatively brief absence, I was a regular member of the club for the past three or four years. I even served as the President of the club for one year.
I pride myself on making sure everyone feels welcome. I try to introduce myself to guests and new members as they check out the club for the first few times, and I try to learn a little bit about each person. I also try to remember the names of the people who come to the meetings. Our club has added several new members the past few months which has made this a bigger challenge.
Today as members were gathering for the meeting, I mistakenly referred to one of the newer members by the wrong name. I had the best of intentions, but I completely botched his name. I tried to laugh it off and even joked about it, but I really felt bad about my blunder.
Last month, Isaac (my son) and I read through How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. (We’ve been intentionally reading through a book together each month as he prepares to make the transition from high school to college. That’s another topic for another time.) One of Carnegie’s principles for winning friends and influencing people is to remember people’s names. People like to hear their name. When you remember someone’s name it shows them you care and they matter. When you use someone’s name you establish and strengthen a human connection with the other person.
There’s a person at my church who is amazing at this. Her name is Terri Stone. Our church’s typical Sunday morning attendance is 1700-1800 which means there are probably around 2300-2500 who call our church home. I would bet that Terri knows 75% or more of the names of these attendees. Terri makes it a point to find out a person’s name when she meets them. She uses their name at least a few times during their initial conversation. The next time she sees the person, she goes out of her way to talk to the person she met a week (or longer) ago, and she uses their name every time. Many people I know at our church would tell you that Terri Stone made them feel welcome, and they would comment on how she remembered their names.
If you want to make a difference in someone’s life, take time to get to know them and to know their name. As Dale Carnegie says, you will provide the sweetest sound to their ears.
Maybe I’m being a little hard on myself, but you can bet I’ll get that guys name right the next time I see him at Toastmasters.
If you want to take it a little deeper for fun, what’s your middle name?
When the day is over and your energy is spent
Your feet are heavy like they’re stuck in cement,
It’s time to reflect on the happenings of the day,
To hug your loved ones, say what you need to say.
Sure there were downs and ups throughout,
But that’s what most days are all about.
Did you hit your goals you set at the start?
Did you leave some unfinished business in your cart?
To close the day on a positive upswing,
Write down three things that made your heart sing.
For me those things included a morning walk,
Time with my wife when we could talk.
And finally, the thing that felt right
Was the moment I had simply to write.