Answers To Your Stretching Questions

On Friday, I asked you to ask me any questions.  Today, I’ll do my best to answer the questions.  This is one of my longer posts, but I hope you’ll find in interesting and perhaps a little humorous.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on my responses to your questions.  Thanks so much to each of you for some wonderful and challenging questions (I may just have to do this again some time).

What would you go back and tell 16 year old you if you could time travel? from Larry Carter at Deuceology

Great question, Larry.  I’d tell myself to buy stock in Apple.  I’d tell 16 year-old Jon Stolpe to be confident in who God made him.  I’d tell me that I am a writer.  I’d tell me not to sweat the girlfriend thing, because God has an unbelievable wife in store for me for the future.  I’d remind me that I am a leader.

Who is your favorite blogger? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

This is really a tough one as I follow so many great bloggers.  Perhaps, my favorite is my dad, Norman Stolpe.  My dad is a writer’s writer.  He has been writing for years.  He doesn’t blog regularly though he keeps a blog.  But his weekly sermons have to be considered as some type of blogging.  My dad has inspired me on many different levels when it comes to my writing.  I don’t ever expect to hold a candle to his writing skill, but I hope that my dad will be proud that I’ve followed in his writing footsteps in some small way.

What motivated you to start blogging? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

I have a friend, Frank Chiapperino, who was my biggest encouragement to start blogging.  Frank was our adult ministries pastor at the time, and he now pastors his own church in Minnesota.  Frank still blogs fairly regularly about leadership, technology, and small groups.

What verse in the Bible challenges you the most? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

Colossians 4:2-6 is one of my favorite verses and probably one of the verses that challenges me the most.  Making the most of every opportunity means so much to me.  I need to make the most in sharing my faith with others.  I need to make the most of the time I have with my friends, family, and co-workers.  I don’t want my time here on earth to be a waste.  I want to hear God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Would you rather have spam for hands or mayo for a tongue? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

This ones easy for me.  I hate (I strongly dislike) mayo, so I’ve got to go with Spam for hands.  If I had a mayo tongue, I’d be throwing up all the time.

It’s a question I asked on my blog yesterday. If you wrote a cardboard testimony what would it say? from Eileen Knowles at The Scenic Route

“God love me – broken and bruised, impatient and imperfect, STRETCHED!”

Where do you see yourself in 15 years? from Joe Lalonde at jmlalonde.com

In 15 years, I will be 55.  I’ll have two kids in their later twenties, and I will have been married for over 30 years.  I hope to be 100% debt free including the house.  I hope to be giving way more than I’m getting.  I’d love to have written at least one book by that time – though I’m still figuring all that out.  If I stay at my current job (which is definitely a possibility), I will have been there for over 31 years.  I’d like to continue to grow in respect.  I’d like to be known for investing in others like no other leader before me.  I’m not sure if blogging will still exist in 15 years, but I’d like to use my writing as a tool to expand the Kingdom.

As a man of strong religious beliefs, what do you think is in general the greatest challenge today to people who seek to maintain their religious faith? And what is the greatest challenge to maintaining your faith personally?  For example, is it that science has called into question many fundamental beliefs in the Bible? Is it rampant materialism in our society? Is it pressure from the mass media to adopt more secular values? When people who are hypocritical in their religious practice are exposed to the public, is that the greatest challenge to believers? Or is personal hardship and suffering a greater challenge to faith than all of these?  from Michael Shaw at I Love Skippack

Wow, this is a pretty deep question which I may need to explore in more depth in a future post.  My short answer is this: The greatest challenge today to people who seek to maintain their religious faith is the same challenge that has plagued people since the beginning of time.  We are so bent on being in control.  We’re self-centered, sinful creatures.  We all struggle with ME, ME, ME.  And we live in a culture where this pull towards ME is so strong.  It’s so easy to be distracted by the things of this world that call to us saying “I can help you get ahead by doing this or doing that.”  For me personally, it’s not much different.  I get distracted by thoughts of trying to get ahead, trying to make a name for myself, and trying to keep up with the Joneses.  The Bible talks about “seeking first the Kingdom of God” in Matthew 6.  This can be a real challenge and can be nearly impossible without the support of family and friends of faith who spur me on.  This is part of the reason I love this blogging community.  While I hope my writing will spur other on, it’s often the Stretched Community that pushes me to keep the faith.  For that, I’m grateful beyond words.

How much are you ready to stretch yourself in order to see your God-given dreams come to pass?  from Joe Abraham at joeandancy.com

Appropriately, this question is rather stretching for me.  I’m fairly certain that I’ve shared this here before – I hate change.  I like things to be the same.  I would eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day given the choice.  So it’s no surprise that “stretching” to achieve my God-given dreams is not always easy for me.  Honestly, there have been a few setbacks along life’s journey that have dampened some of my dreaming, but I’m relearning some of the skill related to dreaming big again.  I shared some of this in a guest post over at Expect the Exceptional a few weeks ago, and I’ve been sharing some of these thoughts especially related to my leap of faith decision to go to Guatemala.  I think I struggle most in this area in trusting God financially to provide should I decide to leave my career and pursue something else.  I’m not convinced that this is where God’s calling me, but I think it would be the biggest challenge for now.  I’m not sure this fully addresses your question, but I hope it’s a start.  Thanks!

Wow!  This was more challenging than I expected.  Thank you to everyone who answered the call to question me.  What’s your answer to one of these questions?  Or better yet, what’s the one question you’re most afraid to answer?

Slow Down

Yesterday, in four or five conversations with different people the subject of busyness came up. The conversations went something like this:

My friend: “Hey, how are you?”

Me: “Okay, how about yourself.”

My friend: “Good, but I’ve been real busy lately.”

Me: “I hear you. I’ve been busy lately as well. It seems like I’m running from one thing to the next.”

Seriously, this conversation with minor variations was repeated several times yesterday. Why do we allow ourselves to become so busy. Do we like being busy, or do we just like the opportunity to tell others that we’re busy? In all our running around, are we making progress towards something that really matters, or are we just trying to keep up with the neighbors?

Staying busy for the sake of being busy is pointless. And even if our activities result in something good, we still need to analyze our list of activities. Are we participating in activities that match up with our gifts and passions? Are we leaving any space in our schedules for rest and reflection? Are we truly making the most of our opportunities – especially when we’re being pulled in a million different activities?

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve read a couple of blog posts and listened to a podcast or two that deal with this topic. Michael Hyatt talked about the importance of calendar triage in his blog in the past week. The FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey Podcast talked about the importance of simplifying our lives in an interview with Dr. Meg Meeker.

These are challenging messages to hear in this culture – especially in the Northeast where everyone seems so ME focused.  So how can we change this?  Here are four simple ideas that could make a huge difference in our journey to take control of our schedules:

1.  Write it down.  Take time at the beginning of each month and at the beginning of each week to write down and review the calendar.  Seeing it in front of you on a calendar will quickly show you if there are any gaps in your calendar for rest and refreshment.

2.  Prioritize and prune.  As you list out your activities and commitments, consider prioritizing them.  You may want to use a number system to assign a priority to each item on your calendar.  Going to church is a top priority in our house, so it gets a 1.  Other things might be a lower priority, so we can assign them a 2 or a 3.  As you review your calendar, consider giving up one of the lower priority activities.

3.  Schedule time for rest, refreshment, and reflection.  Seriously, block off time on your calendar.  Give this a top priority.  Don’t let something else come along and take its place.  This is something we’re still working on at home.  We have tried to make Monday night open for our date night.  This has worked most of the time; however, I must confess that the past couple of weeks we’ve let other things come in the way of this.

4.  Practice sabbath.  I was talking with my good friend, Michael Shaw, yesterday about this very subject.  Michael, who is Jewish, holds the sabbath (sun-down Friday night to sun-down Saturday night) sacred.  He literally shuts down each week during this time.  God’s command for a sabbath was not just meant for us to focus on Him, I believe it was designed to create a regular rhythm of rest in our lives.  It’s important that we find ways to practice the sabbath.

What is one thing that you need to trim off your calendar or schedule this month?  What other suggestions do you have for slowing down?

The Gift

My wife’s parents were in town over the weekend to take in a Talent Show, a jewelry open house fundraiser, and a piano recital.  Since it was so close to Isaac’s birthday, they also took time to celebrate with a couple of gifts.  One of the gifts in particular had a big impact on my son, and it reminded me of another gift experience from my past.

For those of you who don’t know, Isaac is a gifted piano player.  He loves to hear a song and to spend a little time at the piano working it out.  He’s a quick learner, and he has an amazing ear.  Isaac did a great job at his piano recital this weekend where he played Sonatina in A Minor (I forget the composer).  Leanne’s dad is a piano tuner.  Isaac has watched Pap-pap tune a few pianos in the past, and I think he’s helped out on a few of them as well.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

Isaac received a piano tuning kit for his birthday.  When Isaac unwrapped the present, his eyes lit up.  There was a silence in the kitchen.  It was almost a holy moment.  Isaac was so excited to receive this gift.  I think he realized that he could make some serious coin my learning his Pap-pap’s skill, but I also think he realized that this was a very special gift.  Along with the tuning kit, Isaac received a step by step manual on how to tune pianos.  This manual was written by Pap-pap (and typed out by Grammy).  What a special gift!

This experience reminded me of another experience from my younger days.

My dad is a pastor.  Growing up, he used to wear a robe almost every Sunday at the Presbyterian Church we went to for most of my growing up years.  Every Christmas and Easter, the senior pastor wore his academic hood along with the standard robe and stole.  My dad had his master’s degree, but he didn’t have an academic hood to go with it.  One year for Christmas, I can remember my dad receiving a special present from my grandparents.  Neither my brother or I knew what it was at first.  In fact, one of us asked why Dad received hockey shorts for Christmas.  Meanwhile, my dad was in tears.  This gift meant so much to him.  It was one of the “holy” moments in our house.

This past Easter, I got to see Dad wearing his academic hood as he led the services at a church in Duncanville, TX.

Moments like this can be “holy” in that they have meaning that goes beyond description.  They demonstrate sacrifice and thoughtfulness.  I definitely been on the receiving end of these types of gifts in the past.  I want to be on the giving end.  So  often, we go through the motions when it comes to giving gifts.  We think of the “easiest” or “most needed” item.  The month of May is a busy gift giving time for our family with several birthdays and Mother’s Day.  I want our gift giving to be thoughtful and sacrificial.  How about you?

How do you typically approach gifts?  Have you ever experienced a “holy” moment related to a gift given or received?

3 Thumbs Up! April 22nd, 2012

It’s time for the next installment of 3 Thumbs Up!  This is an opportunity for me to share 3 things that deserve a thumbs up.  So here goes for this week:

Thumbs Up No. 1:  Kiwi Yogurt.  Located throughout the Philadelphia area, this new frozen yogurt dessert bar has become one of our favorite placed to visit for a quick date or a frozen treat that’s fairly healthy.  I love ice cream!  But I can honestly recommend Kiwi Yogurt as a great alternative to ice cream establishments in our area.  Check out their website to learn more.

Thumbs Up No. 2:  Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey Podcast.  By now, you know that I’m passionate about marriage and family.  Recently, I started listening to this daily podcast.  Each episode is packed with encouragement, teaching, and inspiration for parents and married couples.  If you’re looking for new ideas for your family or marriage, listen to a few of these podcasts.  Click here to check it out.

Thumbs Up No. 3:  Joseph Lalonde (Empowering You to Lead Better).  This is an excellent blog by my friend, Joe Lalonde.  Each week, Joe writes several posts that challenge readers to lead and live more intentionally.  I’ve enjoyed Joe’s blog for the past several months, and I think you will also.  Check it out here.  Stop over and become part of his blogging community.

What new in your world that deserves a thumbs up?

3 Thumbs Up!

Today, I’m highlighted three things that get my thumbs up as I head into this weekend.

First thumb up:  The 9 Thumbs Podcast.  The idea for this post came from the three guys (Rob Stennett, Jason Boyett, and Matthew Paul Turner) who put out this new podcast.  Each episode, the three hosts talk about nine things that are getting their thumbs up.  So far, they’ve released two episodes.  The podcast is funny and informative.  They talk about movies, TV shows, podcasts, people, inventions, and all kinds of other stuff.  It’s worth checking out.  You can find them over at iTunes where you can download the podcast for free.

Stennett, Boyett, and Turner from 9Thumbs.com

Second thumb up:  The Grand Theater.  I blogged about this place several months ago.  After a visit to The Grand last night with my wife and son, I’m convinced that this “old-time” theater located in East Greenville, PA is a true diamond in the rough.  The movie and snack prices are still reasonable.  The movies are great (last night we saw The Lorax).  What more could you ask for?  If you live in the Montgomery County, Pennsylvania area, I highly recommend you take a trip to The Grand, you won’t be sorry.

The Grand from a visit a few months ago

Third thumb up:  Shawn Smucker’s blog.  I just stumbled upon this blog this week thanks to some reviews for his new e-book, Building A Life Out Of Words.  I’m still figuring him and his blog out, but so far it’s a thumbs up for me.  Go check out at shawnsmucker.com.

Shawn Smucker from shawnsmucker.com

You’ve just read my first 3 Thumbs Up! post.  What do you think?  What would you give a thumbs up to this week?

Raising The Bar

Last night, our middle school parents small group talked about raising the bar.  Our discussion centered on our responsibility to teach godly values and principles in our homes.  We shared our concerns for the lack of boundaries and growing pressures to “lower the bar” that surround our kids as they’re bombarded by falling standards that exist all around them – especially in the media world of television, music, and internet.

During our conversation, two scriptures helped bring focus to our conversation.  In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, God instructs the Israelites to talk to their kids about God and God’s commands morning, noon, and night.

These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

There are so many great ways to live this out in our families.  Praying with your kids at bedtime is a great place to start.  Taking them to church where they can hear more about God is a wonderful next step.  Parents worry that they don’t have the biblical knowledge to spiritually lead their kids, but there are some great resources out there to help.  Our family is currently using Fuel: Devotions to Ignite the Faith of Parents and Teens (Focus on the Family Books), a devotional by Joe White.  As we wrap up dinner together, we take turns reading from this book.  This gives us a time to talk about God’s Word and how it applies to our lives.  Finally, I would recommend leaning into other parents.  Being part of a small group like ours is a big help.  This group often acts as a sounding board for parents as we strive to become better parents while dealing with the joys and challenges of parenting.  It’s also a great idea to find parents who can be your example – perhaps they’re a few steps ahead of you in the parenting journal.

The second scripture that we talked about in our group came from Paul’s letter to the Colossians.  In this passage, Paul instructs readers to put off the “old” things that represented our lives before knowing Christ, and he teaches us to focus on “new” things that point us in the right direction.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

As we talked about this scripture, we were all challenged to consider our role in helping our kids to live this out in light of the media that could come into our homes.  We were encouraged to post these words at our computers and by our TV remotes as a reminder to raise the bar on the things that enter our minds.

How do you raise the bar for your family?

End Of An Era – An End To Suburban Chicken Farming

I’ve begun the process of removing “suburban chicken farmer” from the list of words or phrases to describe me.  Over the past few weeks, my chicken farming experiment has come to a close (at least for now).

Many of you may remember previous posts about my journey into the world of backyard chickens.  Almost three years ago, I picked up eight baby chickens from a good friend, and I built my own chicken condominium in our backyard complete with a picture window, a side door, a basement deck, a nesting box, and a 10 foot high roof (what was I thinking?).

As the chicks grew, I anxiously awaited our first egg.  I still remember checking on the chickens every day after work to see if we there was a surprise.  Eventually that day came!  What excitement!  I remember saving up the first couple of eggs, so our family could enjoy an egg dish from our own chicken eggs.  We made “eggs in a basket” – you cut holes in the middle of slices of bread and fry an egg in the hole.

Since then, we’ve enjoyed hundreds of eggs.  And yes, these eggs are way better than the eggs you buy in the store.

But no one told us about the challenges of suburban chicken farming.  Do you know that a chicken poops every eight minutes on average?  Do you know that chickens need extra light in the winter if you expect them to lay eggs?  Do you know that egg production slows down after two or three years?  Do you know that chickens need heated water in the winter?  We learned all this and more through our journey.  We also sadly learned that chickens like heat, but not extreme heat.  We lost six of our chickens last summer when temperatures hit record highs – that’s a whole other story.

At any rate, a couple of weeks ago our last two chickens were “stolen” when friends came over and took the hens for a ride to a new backyard setting.  My wife and kids had enough of this crazy experiment.  And honestly, I was finished with this little hobby as well (at least for now).  This weekend, I took down the chicken coop.  It was a little bitter-sweet as I reflected on the enthusiasm that initially went into this hobby.

And now, I can concentrate on other adventures.  Leanne, what do you think about getting a cow?  Just kidding!

What hobbies or activities have you moved away from?  What new hobbies or activities have you recently stepped into?

Ice Breaker – Made For The Movies

Happy Friday!  You know what that means?  It’s time for this week’s Stretched Ice Breaker.  If you’re new around here or you’ve just missed the last several month’s of Friday posts on The Stretched Blog, ice breaker questions are designed to help us get to know each other – to break the ice so to speak.  I ask a question, and I give my answer.  Then it’s your turn to chime in.

Are you ready?

Okay, here goes:  If they made a movie about your life, who would play your part?  Would the movie be a comedy, an action flick, drama, romance, or something else?

My answer:  Jim Carrey.  He’s tall, reasonably handsome, and has a sense of humor.  Yes, his humor is probably at a different level than mine, but I still think it would be interesting.  Instead of thinking Ace Ventura Pet Detective or Bruce Almighty, think The Majestic.  In this movie, Carrey played a more serious/romantic role.

As for the type of movie, I guess I’d go with a dramatic comedy with some great romance. These are all elements that play out in my real life experience.

That’s enough from me.  Now it’s your turn.  How would you answer today’s ice breaker question?  Share your answer in the comments.

Back To The Basics – Guest Post From Joe Lalonde

Today, I’m honored to present guest blogger, Joe Lalonde.  Joe blogs regularly about life and leadership.  According to his blog, Joe has “always had a desire to grow and to see others grow and become more effective in their life.”  Please check out his blog and become one of his regular readers.

(As always, I’m love guest blogging and guest bloggers.  If you have a STRETCHED story to share here, drop me a comment.  Or if you think I could help you on your blog, let me know in the comments.)

Back To The Basics

Sometimes the Christian faith seems so simple. You say a prayer asking Jesus to come into your heart, tell Him that you are sorry for your sins, and that you plan on following Him.

Creative Commons at Flickr by Chepe Lena

Simple, right?

Yes, it is simple but it is also complicated. And that is something that has been stretching me.

Questions have been floating around in my head.

When did this get so complicated? Is there more to Christianity than going to church and saying prayers?  Does God even love me?

This line of thinking has made me long for the basics.

What basics you may ask? Well, let me give them to you as questions:

• Whatever happened to the Lord’s Prayer?
  Jesus took the time to describe how we should pray. Yet when is the last time you thought about it?My guess is that it has not been recently.I encourage you to dive into the Lord’s Prayer. Jesus gave us great wisdom and instruction when He prayed.He thought it was important enough to tell us how to pray. Why are we not teaching this to the congregations?
• Are the 10 Commandments still applicable?

  It is interesting studying how the 10 commandments came to be.Moses ascended Mount Sinai and stayed there for 40 days and 40 nights. During this time, God gave Moses the 10 commandments on two stone tablets.Finally, Moses descended the mountain and was ready to bring the tablets to the people. Except the people had rebelled while Moses was with God. They made idols and false gods. This angered Moses.

  In his anger, Moses destroyed the tablets. The 10 commandments from God were gone, decimated.

  But the story does not end there. God, in His everlasting mercy, told Moses to recreate the two tablets that were destroyed.

  It appears the 10 commandments were important.

  After studying the 10 commandments, it seems they all come down to loving God and loving each other.

  Where has our love for them gone? How would our society look if we were to love the commandments and follow them once again?

  Take time to re-read the 10 commandments. What do you see them saying to you?

• Do we even know Jesus?
  Everywhere you go, you can hear about Jesus and how He is love. He loves you and wants you to be happy. He wants you to enjoy your life. He wants peace. He does not want anything extra from you?Is that true?I see in John 14:15 Jesus says “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”In Matthew 10:34-36 Jesus says “Do not think I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.”

  It sounds like we have forgotten that Jesus also had demands for us and that things would be rocky. There would be division.

  I am not saying that Jesus is not about love. He is. He came to save us when we were yet against him. He cared enough about us to die a horrible, miserable death.

  What I am saying is that we forget the basics and give ourselves only the parts that make us happy.

This is where I am being stretched right now. I am being stretched to get back to the basics. To dig deep into the basics. To see our church leaders stand up and proclaim the full gospel, not just the feel good sayings of the Bible.

Are you ready and willing to be stretched back to the basics?

Question: Have you overlooked the basics of your faith? Are you being stretched to dig in and rediscover the truth of the Bible? How so? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Book Review: How Do You Kill 11 Million People?

Saturday, I opened the mail to discover a copy of Andy Andrews‘ new book, How Do You Kill 11 Million People?  Why The Truth Matters More Than You Think.  I read through this short book in an hour or so.

My first thought when I opened the package was “Who titles their book this way?”  I mean, I’m not at all interested in killing anyone much less 11 million people.  My next thought, “What a small book.  This should take me long.”  There are only fifty pages to this book, and many of the pages have pictures or large text.

I had never read anything by Andy Andrews, but I had heard of his name before.  He’s written several novels including The Noticer and The Traveler’s Gift which both made the New York Times bestseller list.  Andrews is also a well-known speaker.

So what is his new book about?  How Do You Kill 11 Million People? relates the story of the Holocaust (where over 11 million people died) and the deception of the German government led by Adolf Hitler to the potential abuse of power that could lie in government left unchecked.  Andrews’ doesn’t take on a political side in his book (at least not from my standpoint), but he does encourage readers to be informed, to investigate the facts, to discover the truth, and to be involved with the political process by holding our leaders accountable through the voting process.

“Did you know that during the past quarter century, no presidential election has been won by more than ten million ballots cast?  Yet every federal election during the same time period had at least one hundred million people of voting age who did not bother to vote!” – Andy Andrews in How Do You Kill 11 Million People?

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect when I opened this book.  I’m not normally outspoken when it comes to the political arena.  I was suspicious about Andrews’ motives and message as I read the first few pages.  But as I continued through the book, I was surprised.  Andrews’ message is for everyone whether you lean left or right, whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican.

I would definitely recommend this book especially if you are turned off by the current political climate or if you’re thinking of skipping the next election.

Did you vote in the last election?  Are you planning to vote in the upcoming election?  Have you read this book?  If so, what did you think?