How I Spend My Time Is A Moral Issue
“How I spend my time is a moral issue.”
This was the statement someone made to me yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
How does this statement impact you? I mean if we’re serious about it, this statement could change the way we live or at least change the way we think as we live. Is wasting time immoral? When I fail to make the most of each and every opportunity am I sinning? How do I really live in light of this statement? Do I make the most of the time that I’ve been given?
Does watching TV count? I mean, come on, I love watching those reality TV shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, and Biggest Loser. Are you telling me that watching these shows could be wrong?
How about surfing on the internet? I’m not into porn, but I probably spend too much time on the computer surfing the social media scenes on Facebook, Foursquare, Empire Avenue, Twitter, etc. Could too much time on the computer mean that I’m sinning?
How about during my drive time? I’m in the car at least an hour every day driving to and from work. Surely, I don’t make the most of my time in the car. Hmmm….
Do you see what I mean? This statement has got me thinking!
What do you think? Does that statement hit you the same way?
Magic Boy and Super Sitter
It’s hard to believe how quickly our kids grow. This picture was taken the first day of school (this year), and I think they’ve grown another few inches since then. A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids with us to visit Grove City College for Homecoming and Leanne’s 15th Class Reunion. Leanne and I felt especially “older” as our kids were clearly the oldest kids among Leanne’s classmates.
One of the cool things about our visit was how our friends’ kids were attracted to our kids. When we were walking over to line up for the parade, one of our friends’ kids ran up to Isaac and said, “Hey Magic Boy, do a magic trick!” And he was completely serious. He had been to our home a month or two prior to homecoming and remembered Isaac doing magic tricks for the kids. Leanne and I often remark to each other how much of a performer our son can be. He loves to put on shows for people. He is the first to jump on the piano or to take out his trumpet when guests come over. We sometimes wonder what Isaac will do when he grows up. Perhaps, he’ll be the ring master for a circus, a musician, or a preacher or worship leader. It’s fun to imagine as we watch our son bloom.
At Grove City, most of the kids were attracted to Hannah. And many of the parents were putting bids on Hannah to come to their homes over the summer to watch their kids. Hannah is a leader and a care-giver. She knows how to take charge and how to have compassion. She had the opportunity to hold a baby, and it was fun to watch her as the baby fell asleep in her arms. She also was the leader for the preschoolers and elementary kids as they made up games and did crafts together. Leanne and I often say that Hannah will have an interesting future. Will she be a teacher, a missionary, a mom, or president of some organization? Like her brother, it’s fun to watch as our daughter matures and becomes a young lady.
As we watch our kids grow, we have come to know and realize that time goes so quickly. Each moment is precious as they fly by before our eyes. It’s for this reason that I often say that Paul’s call in Colossians to “make the most of every opportunity” was about sharing our faith, but it’s also a great reminder to take advantage of the time we have with our kids. Walking around Grove City College a couple of weeks ago with our kids was a huge reminder that our kids will be venturing to college before we know it. We need to make the most of these days we have with “Magic Boy” and “Super Sitter.”
What characteristics and gifts to you see developing in your children? What are you doing to make the most of the opportunities you have with your children?
September 2011 Top Posts
It’s hard to believe that we’ve reached the end of another month. September was the best month by far at Jon Stolpe Stretched. Traffic on the blog increased 28%! Comments continued to roll-in. And new people joined in the conversation and community. The blog added a couple of new subscribers and the new Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook Page attracted several new followers in its first month. Here are the top 10 posts and top 3 commentors for the month:
Top 10 Posts
1. Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College
2. The Birds and The Bees – Talking to Your Kids About Sex
3. It’s The People – Back From Grove City College Homecoming
4. Book Review: Hell Is Real (But I Hate To Admit It) by Brian Jones
5. Jon Stolpe Stretched Gets A Piece Of Toast Thanks To TentBlogger
7. Date Night
8. “Have You Ever Thought About Writing A Book?”
9. New Ways to Connect to the Jon Stolpe Stretched Community
Top 3 Commentors
1. Arny Sanchez
2. Ryan Knight
3. Brandon
I now have 18 regular subscribers. If you’d like to become a subscriber, see the “Follow Blog” window on your right. It’s great to see this starting to take off.
Thank you to all of you for reading and contributing to the blog and to the reader community. I’ve continue to grow a lot through this experience.
As always, I love to share other’s “stretching” stories on my blog, so leave me a comment if you’re interested in being a guest blogger on Jon Stolpe Stretched.
Finally, if you’re a blogger, how did your blog to this month? What was your top post? What was your favorite post?
My Dad
Today is my dad’s birthday. If you happen to be friends with him on Facebook, hop on over and wish him a happy birthday. Or leave him a comment on his blog. I introduced him here on my blog this summer, when he shared a guest post about God In The Spaces. As I stated in the introduction to his post, I owe so much of who I am including my writing to him. He’s been writing for as long as I know, and I suspect he was probably writing as soon as he could hold a pen or a pencil – I’ll have to ask my grandma.
At any rate, I wanted to post today to reflect on some memories I have of my dad. I think it’s important to reflect on these things from time to time. So here are my thoughts:
1. My dad is one of the smartest people I know. Seriously, he has read so much, and he retains what he reads. My friends at our church growing up used to refer to him as Cliff Claven (from Cheers), because dad was always sharing some little known fact about something. I know my family (especially my brothers) joke around about this, but I think it’s more out of envy and appreciation than anything else.
2. My dad is a lot stronger than most people realize. He used to workout bench pressing more than 300 pounds. His hobby in college was cliff climbing. I smile as I remember the time that he lifted one of our youth group teenagers off the ground when this teen tried to sneak up on my dad from behind. That kid never messed with my dad again. And the rest of the youth group talked about “Norm’s strength” for years.
3. My dad isn’t perfect. Despite being a pastor and very close to God (that’s another thing I’ll share in a few seconds), my dad is human. I chuckle as I think about the holes in doors and walls that he created himself as he chased one of my brothers down the hall or banged his head in frustration. I also think about the game of National Geographic Global Pursuit that ended when my brother, my grandpa, and my dad show-off the family stubbornness in questioning a move. I’m not sure we ever played that game afterwards.
4. My dad is intentional. I especially think of all the times when dad stops us in our tracks to make sure we understand what’s going on in a particular moment or situation. He says, “I want to stop and remember this moment, this milestone. This is important.” He does this whenever we are together. When my brother, Erik, graduated from college, I can remember him stopping to celebrate and to thank God for this milestone. When my family got together to celebrate my grandparents anniversary, I remember him stopping to make sure we captured the moment that we were all together for one last time. On mission trips and youth retreats as a teenager, I remember dad gathering us together at the end of the week or weekend to reflect on what God just did through the trip or retreat. In some ways, this is one of the main reasons I blog. I want to create a record of the things in my life; I don’t want to forget how God has worked through the ups and downs of my daily life.
5. My dad is very close to God. As I mentioned earlier, my dad takes his relationship with God very seriously. I admire my dad’s dedication, commitment, and example. He spends time regularly praying, meditating, memorizing, and thinking about God. I’m convinced that his number one passion is to follow Jesus and to be close to Him. This pours from everything my dad does and says.
I’m sure I could go on, but I’ll stop for now. I just wanted to reflect and share about my dad today as he celebrates his birthday.
Dad, thanks for being such a great example to me and others. Thanks for being you! Happy Birthday! I love you!
How do you remember your parents? For those of you who know my dad, feel free to comment with your own thought or memory of him.
Limitless
Today, I am blessed to share a guest post from Tara Watson. Tara is a wife, mom, friend, and fellow blogger. This year, she started blogging about her weight loss journey, but I think it’s turned into so much more. I would highly encourage you to check out her blog (Chewing The Fat On Skinny) and become one of her readers. Today, Tara shares about changing her view from CANNOT to CAN DO! I love what she writes below. Check it out, and let me know what you think by sending me a comment.
(I’m always looking for guest bloggers to share on Jon Stolpe Stretched. Let me know if you’re interested in writing a guest post. Thanks!)
When Jon asked me to be a guest blogger I thought, that’s like Picasso saying ‘Tara, come on over and we’ll sketch for a while’, because I consider Jon a fantastic writer. And then I thought “why not?”
When I was pondering about what was stretching me, plenty of things came to mind, but one thing came to the top of my mind. I’m reading this (fiction) book about an overachieving working mother of three whose life is turned upside-down after she sustains a traumatic brain injury (uplifting eh?). This (truly inspiring) book follows her journey before, during and after the injury. At one point during the book, she is in the hospital doing her physical therapy, feeling sorry for herself, and on the road to Doomsville as she calls it. Then she has an a-ha! moment. She realizes that she has been focusing on what she can’t do instead of what she CAN do. And this really changes how she approaches not only her recovery but her life.
This story, for many reasons, really resonates with me. I am an overachieving working mother of two who happens to have a neurological illness. I was diagnosed with this illness in 2002, and it has gotten worse over the past few years. It’s called trigeminal neuralgia/atypical facial pain (isn’t that a mouthful). It causes me to experience a variety of pains in the right hand side of my head from pinching and pulling, to feeling like someone is driving nails in my head, to stop you in your tracks lightning bolts of pain. I am now on a (mostly) successful treatment program that has helped reduce the frequency and intensity of the attacks, but it still very much impacts how I can live my life.
Some of my pain triggers are cold weather, hot weather, stress, noise, surprise, crying, laughing, going to the dentist…pretty much every day living. 😉 This impacts what kind of job I can hold, what I can do with my kids, and what kind of volunteer work I help with. It limits the time I can enjoy being outside doing hobbies, going to concerts, and doing adventurous things. Truth be told, if I sat down and made a list of what I can’t do because of this illness I’d most likely need some tissues and chocolate.
Instead, just like the character in the book, I am choosing to focus on what I CAN do. I can be a loving Mom, a compassionate wife, a giving family member, a kind friend and a helpful co-worker. I can hug, love, laugh, cry, jump, run, see and feel. I can dance, exercise, read, do my job well, and be crafty and funny. I CAN do soooo many more things than I cannot. Another thing I can do is to look at myself through God’s eyes.
You see, God doesn’t look at what we can’t do because he knows what we CAN do. He knows the very essence of who we are. He doesn’t see our limits, He sees us as limitless. He doesn’t see handicaps or illness, skin color or gender. He sees our beauty, talent and our untapped potential. God knows our faults and flaws, and He loves us anyway. And He has great plans for us, if only we would believe.
When I think about God’s great love for me and what He sees in me, the idea of cannot is erased. If God believes in me, I need to believe in me too. I need to love me like God loves me and accept that what I cannot do does not limit me, it defines me. You see, life’s pain and troubles refine me into exactly who God wants me to be.
This week, I ask you to take stock in how you are living your life. Are you focusing on what you cannot do? Chasing after things that you cannot have?
Or are you living in the can-do? Remove the self-imposed limits you put on your life, focus on the little and big things that you CAN do, and realize that with God by your side and in your heart, you are limitless!
It’s The People – Back From Grove City College Homecoming
We just returned from a spectacular weekend at Grove City College. The weather was uncharacteristically perfect – sunny with few clouds. The campus was beautiful. We continue to be blown away by all the enhancements and new buildings that keep popping up each time we visit. The campus just keeps improving. The homecoming festivities were traditionally fun. We marched in the parade through campus and downtown Grove City with Leanne’s classmates. We enjoyed a reunion luncheon. And listened to the marching band march towards the football field during their pre-game ritual. It was fun to give our kids a tour of all the places on campus that we remembered and that were new. (Honestly, there was a bit more of a sales pitch going on this year than in other years.) It’s hard to believe that our oldest is five years away from college. (Did I just type that?!?)
All these things were great about our visit to Grove City College. But the best thing by far was visiting with friends. I got to visit with my friend, “Hack”, who roomed with me for two years and was the best man in our wedding. Our time was short, but it was like old times as we shared some of our college days memories and caught up on some of the recent happenings of our families. We also spent a lot of time with Leanne’s friends and their families. In the 15 years since they graduated, Leanne’s friends have been keeping in touch through a monthly newsletter and through a once or twice a year get together. The husbands of these ladies have become friends as well. I absolutely enjoyed catching up these men. And our kids had a blast hanging out together.
So while we enjoyed see Grove City College and its beautiful campus, the best part was the people. Friendships of this quality and type are worth remembering and are worth celebrating. I think the memories and the common Grove City ground help to bond these friendships, but I think it’s faith and the common bond of Christ that really has cemented many of these friendships that were formed more than 15 years ago.
As we finished up our time with Leanne’s friends at the hotel. We cleaned up after breakfast, and we joined together in a small worship service. We sang a few songs to the accompaniment of two guitars and a cello. The kids participated in an activity designed to keep them preoccupied but also to help them think about how God is growing and shaping them. And we finished with prayer together. It was during this service that I realized how important our Grove City College friendships really were. It was these friends who last year prayed every day at 1PM for Leanne and our family as we journeyed through some very difficult waters. It was these friends who prayed yesterday and thanked God for healing. It’s a wonderful thing to know that people have your back. This is why I love Grove City College and why it was such a blessing to go back this weekend!
Do you go to your college homecoming? How do you keep in touch with your friends from back in the day?
What Every Small Group Leader Should Know
Do you want to become a stronger leader?
Are you involved in group life ministry?
Next month, I’ve been invited to speak at a small group leader gathering at our church. I’ve been asked to share my top 10 list of things that every small group leader should know. I’m excited about this opportunity. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m extremely passionate about small groups. I truly believe they can provide a path for connection to others and to God. I also believe that small groups play an important role in accountability and discipleship. So I haven’t formulated my full list, but I’ve begun to process what I will share.
1. The small group leaders are important. They play a big part in helping people find community, find God, and find growth. If you are a small group leader, you need to know that what you do matters.
2. Small group leaders set the tone. Whether or not you consider yourself a Biblical scholar, your group members look to you as an example. For this reason, it’s important that small group leaders continue to model growth. They should be in the Word. They should develop disciplines that model growth. Small group leaders aren’t perfect, but they must find others who will hold them accountable to setting the tone.
3. Small groups are not about small group leaders. Small groups aren’t meant to showcase your incredible “holiness” or biblical knowledge. Small groups aren’t meant to show off how great you are as a leader. Small groups are about the group – about pointing people to God.
4. Small group leaders aren’t supposed to live on an island. Leaders must find ways to stay strong and spiritually fervent. They must also have a support team to provide guidance when small group life gets tough – and it usually will.
5. Small group leaders must be invitational. Intimacy and transparency in groups can be great, but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to invite others into the group. I’m a big proponent of the “open chair” policy in small groups. If you’re a small group leader, set the tone. Make sure there is always an open chair in your group for new group members and guests. Talk about it with your group. Don’t let it be optional.
These are just some of my initial thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think.
What would you add to the list? What do you think every small group leader should know?
Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College
Leanne and I are getting ready to head out to Grove City College for homecoming and Leanne’s 15th reunion. I’m excited to go back to the place we first met. My four years at GCC were extremely memorable. Since I’m thinking about it, here’s my Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College:
1. Go to chapel (16 times a semester). As much as that may sound dull, we were blessed with some great speakers at GCC. I particularly remember John Guest, Tony Campolo, and R.C. Sproul.
2. Look to your left and look to your right. As Nancy Paxton would tell all freshman, your future mate may be in sight. As it turns out, I met Leanne at the end of my junior year. The rest is history, so they say.
3. Fries and cheese at the Gee. I still remember the GeeDunk lady screaming, “Fries and Cheese” into the microphone as students waited for their late night snacks. The GeeDunk has moved to another building since I graduated, but I’m sure many students from my generation will remember the Gee of old.
4. Shoe in the door and two feet on the floor. This was the saying that went with intervisitation – the couple of weekend hours when guys could visit girls in their dorms and girls could visit guys in their dorm rooms. Honestly, I didn’t participate in this much at all, but it’s one thing that I remember about Grove City. Grove City College kept guys and girls separated as far as sleeping quarters, so this couple of hours was considered sacred for many dating couples. The shoe in the door and two feet on the floor things was a phrase meant to explain that things during intervisitation were supposed to stay pure.
5. Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek. This is the chant you would often hear as engaged guys were carried down to the creek. They would receive a kiss from their girlfriend before their “buddies” threw them into the murky waters of Wolf Creek. Yes, I have my own Wolf Creek story.
6. Get off the Quad! When I went to Grove City College, the Quad was considered sacred ground. If anyone was seen running across the Quad, someone from Ketler would yell out the window, “Get off the Quad!” I had the privilege of living in Ketler right on the Quad my freshman year, so I had a front row seat to the ‘holy green grass.’ Now, I understand that they let students use the upper quad for light sports. What’s happening over there at GCC?
7. Intramural sports. I love playing intramural sports. While at Grove City, I played basketball, football, softball, and even bowling. It was a blast participating in these sporting events with my friends. One of my favorite moments in my intramural sports career was dunking in a game while Leanne was watching. My first ever dunk in a game situation. I was flying high for a week!
8. Study, study, and more study. Grove City College is known for very high academic standards. I spent many hours preparing for tests, quizzes, papers, projects, and final exams. You could often find me hiding in the stacks up in Buhl Library, in the lab in Hoyt Hall, in Ketler Rec Center, or in my dorm room. I’m so thankful for the rigorous academic programs at Grove City.
9. Salt Company, Warriors for Christ, and other on-campus Christian groups. It was truly a blessing to have these groups to lead and participate in worship and fellowship with fellow students. So much of my world view and spiritual focus was shaped and groomed during my four years at the Grove.
10. Meet life long friends. I was truly blessed to meet some incredible friends at Grove City. I met people through the engineering program, through my housing group, and through many on-campus activities. I met my best man and two-year roommate, John Hackworth. And I met my best friend and soul mate, Leanne, at Grove City.
Obviously, there are other things to do at Grove City College, but these are some of the top ones from my memory. I look forward to walking through the campus and the town of Grove City and remembering four of the best years of my life. It should be a blast!
What’s one thing you remember about your college experience that you don’t want to forget?
Date Night
I’m fairly certain that I’ve blogged about this before, but I think it’s been a while. I just wanted to celebrate the weekly date night that my wife and I try hard to preserve. Last night, we enjoyed some time together and some delicious dessert at a local treasure, Little Ortino’s, in “downtown” Schwenksville. We enjoyed unbelievable coconut creme pie and peanut butter fudge pie, the great music of Jim Brickman, and wonderful company and conversation – with each other!
Monday night is sacred in our house. Our kids know that this is the night that Mom and Dad get away together for an hour or so. We all know not to schedule anything for this night. Sometimes, we go for a walk. Sometimes, we play tennis. And sometimes, we grab dessert somewhere. Whatever it is, we get to spend time together. We get to connect – just the two of us.
If you’re married, I strongly encourage you to set aside a regular time to get away with your spouse. Lock it in and make it sacred.
What is the best date you’ve experienced?
Hitting My Stride
As a runner, there are times when I am running where everything flows. My breathing becomes controlled. My pace feels good. My legs and the rest of my body feel good as they move in concert. These are the times when I know I’ve hit my stride. It just feels right. This feeling doesn’t always last for the rest of the run, and sometimes it comes and goes as I run against strong head winds or I turn the corner and face a long hill. But it’s nice while it lasts.
As things have been developing at work, at home, at our kids’ school, and even here on the blog, I have recently had a feeling of peace – a feeling that I may finally be hitting my stride. I’m a little afraid to say that for fear that I have somehow jinxed myself. And I do realize that there will be things that come along that throw me off my stride – that throw me out of rhythm – and that’s okay. I just wanted to celebrate this moment.
What can you celebrate today?