How I Spend My Time Is A Moral Issue
“How I spend my time is a moral issue.”
This was the statement someone made to me yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
How does this statement impact you? I mean if we’re serious about it, this statement could change the way we live or at least change the way we think as we live. Is wasting time immoral? When I fail to make the most of each and every opportunity am I sinning? How do I really live in light of this statement? Do I make the most of the time that I’ve been given?
Does watching TV count? I mean, come on, I love watching those reality TV shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, and Biggest Loser. Are you telling me that watching these shows could be wrong?
How about surfing on the internet? I’m not into porn, but I probably spend too much time on the computer surfing the social media scenes on Facebook, Foursquare, Empire Avenue, Twitter, etc. Could too much time on the computer mean that I’m sinning?
How about during my drive time? I’m in the car at least an hour every day driving to and from work. Surely, I don’t make the most of my time in the car. Hmmm….
Do you see what I mean? This statement has got me thinking!
What do you think? Does that statement hit you the same way?
Magic Boy and Super Sitter
It’s hard to believe how quickly our kids grow. This picture was taken the first day of school (this year), and I think they’ve grown another few inches since then. A couple of weeks ago, we took the kids with us to visit Grove City College for Homecoming and Leanne’s 15th Class Reunion. Leanne and I felt especially “older” as our kids were clearly the oldest kids among Leanne’s classmates.
One of the cool things about our visit was how our friends’ kids were attracted to our kids. When we were walking over to line up for the parade, one of our friends’ kids ran up to Isaac and said, “Hey Magic Boy, do a magic trick!” And he was completely serious. He had been to our home a month or two prior to homecoming and remembered Isaac doing magic tricks for the kids. Leanne and I often remark to each other how much of a performer our son can be. He loves to put on shows for people. He is the first to jump on the piano or to take out his trumpet when guests come over. We sometimes wonder what Isaac will do when he grows up. Perhaps, he’ll be the ring master for a circus, a musician, or a preacher or worship leader. It’s fun to imagine as we watch our son bloom.
At Grove City, most of the kids were attracted to Hannah. And many of the parents were putting bids on Hannah to come to their homes over the summer to watch their kids. Hannah is a leader and a care-giver. She knows how to take charge and how to have compassion. She had the opportunity to hold a baby, and it was fun to watch her as the baby fell asleep in her arms. She also was the leader for the preschoolers and elementary kids as they made up games and did crafts together. Leanne and I often say that Hannah will have an interesting future. Will she be a teacher, a missionary, a mom, or president of some organization? Like her brother, it’s fun to watch as our daughter matures and becomes a young lady.
As we watch our kids grow, we have come to know and realize that time goes so quickly. Each moment is precious as they fly by before our eyes. It’s for this reason that I often say that Paul’s call in Colossians to “make the most of every opportunity” was about sharing our faith, but it’s also a great reminder to take advantage of the time we have with our kids. Walking around Grove City College a couple of weeks ago with our kids was a huge reminder that our kids will be venturing to college before we know it. We need to make the most of these days we have with “Magic Boy” and “Super Sitter.”
What characteristics and gifts to you see developing in your children? What are you doing to make the most of the opportunities you have with your children?
Limitless
Today, I am blessed to share a guest post from Tara Watson. Tara is a wife, mom, friend, and fellow blogger. This year, she started blogging about her weight loss journey, but I think it’s turned into so much more. I would highly encourage you to check out her blog (Chewing The Fat On Skinny) and become one of her readers. Today, Tara shares about changing her view from CANNOT to CAN DO! I love what she writes below. Check it out, and let me know what you think by sending me a comment.
(I’m always looking for guest bloggers to share on Jon Stolpe Stretched. Let me know if you’re interested in writing a guest post. Thanks!)
When Jon asked me to be a guest blogger I thought, that’s like Picasso saying ‘Tara, come on over and we’ll sketch for a while’, because I consider Jon a fantastic writer. And then I thought “why not?”
When I was pondering about what was stretching me, plenty of things came to mind, but one thing came to the top of my mind. I’m reading this (fiction) book about an overachieving working mother of three whose life is turned upside-down after she sustains a traumatic brain injury (uplifting eh?). This (truly inspiring) book follows her journey before, during and after the injury. At one point during the book, she is in the hospital doing her physical therapy, feeling sorry for herself, and on the road to Doomsville as she calls it. Then she has an a-ha! moment. She realizes that she has been focusing on what she can’t do instead of what she CAN do. And this really changes how she approaches not only her recovery but her life.
This story, for many reasons, really resonates with me. I am an overachieving working mother of two who happens to have a neurological illness. I was diagnosed with this illness in 2002, and it has gotten worse over the past few years. It’s called trigeminal neuralgia/atypical facial pain (isn’t that a mouthful). It causes me to experience a variety of pains in the right hand side of my head from pinching and pulling, to feeling like someone is driving nails in my head, to stop you in your tracks lightning bolts of pain. I am now on a (mostly) successful treatment program that has helped reduce the frequency and intensity of the attacks, but it still very much impacts how I can live my life.
Some of my pain triggers are cold weather, hot weather, stress, noise, surprise, crying, laughing, going to the dentist…pretty much every day living. 😉 This impacts what kind of job I can hold, what I can do with my kids, and what kind of volunteer work I help with. It limits the time I can enjoy being outside doing hobbies, going to concerts, and doing adventurous things. Truth be told, if I sat down and made a list of what I can’t do because of this illness I’d most likely need some tissues and chocolate.
Instead, just like the character in the book, I am choosing to focus on what I CAN do. I can be a loving Mom, a compassionate wife, a giving family member, a kind friend and a helpful co-worker. I can hug, love, laugh, cry, jump, run, see and feel. I can dance, exercise, read, do my job well, and be crafty and funny. I CAN do soooo many more things than I cannot. Another thing I can do is to look at myself through God’s eyes.
You see, God doesn’t look at what we can’t do because he knows what we CAN do. He knows the very essence of who we are. He doesn’t see our limits, He sees us as limitless. He doesn’t see handicaps or illness, skin color or gender. He sees our beauty, talent and our untapped potential. God knows our faults and flaws, and He loves us anyway. And He has great plans for us, if only we would believe.
When I think about God’s great love for me and what He sees in me, the idea of cannot is erased. If God believes in me, I need to believe in me too. I need to love me like God loves me and accept that what I cannot do does not limit me, it defines me. You see, life’s pain and troubles refine me into exactly who God wants me to be.
This week, I ask you to take stock in how you are living your life. Are you focusing on what you cannot do? Chasing after things that you cannot have?
Or are you living in the can-do? Remove the self-imposed limits you put on your life, focus on the little and big things that you CAN do, and realize that with God by your side and in your heart, you are limitless!
It’s The People – Back From Grove City College Homecoming
We just returned from a spectacular weekend at Grove City College. The weather was uncharacteristically perfect – sunny with few clouds. The campus was beautiful. We continue to be blown away by all the enhancements and new buildings that keep popping up each time we visit. The campus just keeps improving. The homecoming festivities were traditionally fun. We marched in the parade through campus and downtown Grove City with Leanne’s classmates. We enjoyed a reunion luncheon. And listened to the marching band march towards the football field during their pre-game ritual. It was fun to give our kids a tour of all the places on campus that we remembered and that were new. (Honestly, there was a bit more of a sales pitch going on this year than in other years.) It’s hard to believe that our oldest is five years away from college. (Did I just type that?!?)
All these things were great about our visit to Grove City College. But the best thing by far was visiting with friends. I got to visit with my friend, “Hack”, who roomed with me for two years and was the best man in our wedding. Our time was short, but it was like old times as we shared some of our college days memories and caught up on some of the recent happenings of our families. We also spent a lot of time with Leanne’s friends and their families. In the 15 years since they graduated, Leanne’s friends have been keeping in touch through a monthly newsletter and through a once or twice a year get together. The husbands of these ladies have become friends as well. I absolutely enjoyed catching up these men. And our kids had a blast hanging out together.
So while we enjoyed see Grove City College and its beautiful campus, the best part was the people. Friendships of this quality and type are worth remembering and are worth celebrating. I think the memories and the common Grove City ground help to bond these friendships, but I think it’s faith and the common bond of Christ that really has cemented many of these friendships that were formed more than 15 years ago.
As we finished up our time with Leanne’s friends at the hotel. We cleaned up after breakfast, and we joined together in a small worship service. We sang a few songs to the accompaniment of two guitars and a cello. The kids participated in an activity designed to keep them preoccupied but also to help them think about how God is growing and shaping them. And we finished with prayer together. It was during this service that I realized how important our Grove City College friendships really were. It was these friends who last year prayed every day at 1PM for Leanne and our family as we journeyed through some very difficult waters. It was these friends who prayed yesterday and thanked God for healing. It’s a wonderful thing to know that people have your back. This is why I love Grove City College and why it was such a blessing to go back this weekend!
Do you go to your college homecoming? How do you keep in touch with your friends from back in the day?
Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College
Leanne and I are getting ready to head out to Grove City College for homecoming and Leanne’s 15th reunion. I’m excited to go back to the place we first met. My four years at GCC were extremely memorable. Since I’m thinking about it, here’s my Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College:
1. Go to chapel (16 times a semester). As much as that may sound dull, we were blessed with some great speakers at GCC. I particularly remember John Guest, Tony Campolo, and R.C. Sproul.
2. Look to your left and look to your right. As Nancy Paxton would tell all freshman, your future mate may be in sight. As it turns out, I met Leanne at the end of my junior year. The rest is history, so they say.
3. Fries and cheese at the Gee. I still remember the GeeDunk lady screaming, “Fries and Cheese” into the microphone as students waited for their late night snacks. The GeeDunk has moved to another building since I graduated, but I’m sure many students from my generation will remember the Gee of old.
4. Shoe in the door and two feet on the floor. This was the saying that went with intervisitation – the couple of weekend hours when guys could visit girls in their dorms and girls could visit guys in their dorm rooms. Honestly, I didn’t participate in this much at all, but it’s one thing that I remember about Grove City. Grove City College kept guys and girls separated as far as sleeping quarters, so this couple of hours was considered sacred for many dating couples. The shoe in the door and two feet on the floor things was a phrase meant to explain that things during intervisitation were supposed to stay pure.
5. Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek. This is the chant you would often hear as engaged guys were carried down to the creek. They would receive a kiss from their girlfriend before their “buddies” threw them into the murky waters of Wolf Creek. Yes, I have my own Wolf Creek story.
6. Get off the Quad! When I went to Grove City College, the Quad was considered sacred ground. If anyone was seen running across the Quad, someone from Ketler would yell out the window, “Get off the Quad!” I had the privilege of living in Ketler right on the Quad my freshman year, so I had a front row seat to the ‘holy green grass.’ Now, I understand that they let students use the upper quad for light sports. What’s happening over there at GCC?
7. Intramural sports. I love playing intramural sports. While at Grove City, I played basketball, football, softball, and even bowling. It was a blast participating in these sporting events with my friends. One of my favorite moments in my intramural sports career was dunking in a game while Leanne was watching. My first ever dunk in a game situation. I was flying high for a week!
8. Study, study, and more study. Grove City College is known for very high academic standards. I spent many hours preparing for tests, quizzes, papers, projects, and final exams. You could often find me hiding in the stacks up in Buhl Library, in the lab in Hoyt Hall, in Ketler Rec Center, or in my dorm room. I’m so thankful for the rigorous academic programs at Grove City.
9. Salt Company, Warriors for Christ, and other on-campus Christian groups. It was truly a blessing to have these groups to lead and participate in worship and fellowship with fellow students. So much of my world view and spiritual focus was shaped and groomed during my four years at the Grove.
10. Meet life long friends. I was truly blessed to meet some incredible friends at Grove City. I met people through the engineering program, through my housing group, and through many on-campus activities. I met my best man and two-year roommate, John Hackworth. And I met my best friend and soul mate, Leanne, at Grove City.
Obviously, there are other things to do at Grove City College, but these are some of the top ones from my memory. I look forward to walking through the campus and the town of Grove City and remembering four of the best years of my life. It should be a blast!
What’s one thing you remember about your college experience that you don’t want to forget?
Date Night
I’m fairly certain that I’ve blogged about this before, but I think it’s been a while. I just wanted to celebrate the weekly date night that my wife and I try hard to preserve. Last night, we enjoyed some time together and some delicious dessert at a local treasure, Little Ortino’s, in “downtown” Schwenksville. We enjoyed unbelievable coconut creme pie and peanut butter fudge pie, the great music of Jim Brickman, and wonderful company and conversation – with each other!
Monday night is sacred in our house. Our kids know that this is the night that Mom and Dad get away together for an hour or so. We all know not to schedule anything for this night. Sometimes, we go for a walk. Sometimes, we play tennis. And sometimes, we grab dessert somewhere. Whatever it is, we get to spend time together. We get to connect – just the two of us.
If you’re married, I strongly encourage you to set aside a regular time to get away with your spouse. Lock it in and make it sacred.
What is the best date you’ve experienced?
Race to Remember Recap
Yesterday, I ran the first ever Perk Trail Half Marathon. Okay, it wasn’t an official race. It was my own crazy idea that I shared last week. The race gave me a goal to help me get into shape but it also gave me a way to remember the 10th anniversary of September 11th, 2001.
As I ran, I spent each of the 13 (actually 13.1) miles thinking and praying for a different group of people or things which were tied to 9/11. I wrote these things on my arm as a reminder. As I approached each mile, I would pray on a more general basis for the first half of the mile. For the second half of the mile, I would personalize it by concentrating on specific people in my life:
1 – Leanne
2 – Hannah & Isaac
3 – Greg Bonderanko, Jim Callahan, Bruce Beck, junior firefighters from our scout troop
4 – Heather Roulle, John D’Orazio, Shannon Clark, Mike C.
5 – Mike G., John Rizzuto, Evan Flora, Tom Williams
6 – Barack Obama, Joe Biden, senators, Congress, state governors
7 – U.N., NATO
8 – My neighbors, Joe Giunta
9 – Mayor Bloomberg, Brian Willem, Forefront Church
10 – NCC, Journey’s Crossing
11 – Christ’s Church of the Valley, my parents as my dad just started at a new church
12 – tough work relationships
13 – Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan
It was a powerful experience to give these things to God as I passed over each mile. It was freeing to release these people and worries to the One who cares so deeply for us.
I also had a couple of interesting and unexpected happenings related to the Race to Remember. I guess I wasn’t shocked when I started the “race” on my own despite my invitation for others to join me. For one, it was early in the morning (7AM), and most people were probably still in bed. Secondly, my last-minute idea really didn’t give a lot of time for people to prepare and commit to running 13.1 miles.
The first amusing happening came at the first half mile marker when a cat jumped on the trail and started running with me. I’ve had dogs run with me before, but I’ve never had a cat try to run with me. Honestly, it was a bit freaky as the cat stayed with me for several yards. When the cat finally realized it couldn’t keep up, it stopped and started meowing loudly at me. I smiled as I continued running thinking that this cat was my first cheering section of the day.
The second interesting happening occurred five miles into the “race” when I caught up to Dave, a man who used to go to our church. I almost ran past him until I realized who he was. I asked him how far he was going and he said a few more miles, so we ran together for about two and a half miles catching up on running, our kids, and their new church. It was a great, unexpected diversion in the middle of my run.
After I left Dave, I continued back on the trail towards home. As the miles wore on, I could feel my legs starting to grow tired. With about three miles to go, I saw another familiar face. Scott, a friend from scouting, was waiting for me and ready to run the final three miles with me. Apparently, he read my blog and was inspired to come out and run with me. It was another great diversion at the perfect time. As we clicked off the final three miles, we talked about our boys who are in the same class in their first year of middle school. We talked about September 11th and our plans for the day. And we enjoyed each other’s company as we talked about various other things.
When we finished (and I caught my breath), Scott asked if we should pray. It was a perfect way to end the Race to Remember. In addition to praying for the things written on my arm, I thanked God for the reminder through Scott and Dave of those who had “run” alongside my family over the past year at just the right time when we needed a meal, a prayer, or even just a friend to talk with. I will never forget the “race” yesterday and the reminders of God’s faithfulness and of hope for the future.
I’m looking forward to running the 2nd ever Perk Trail Half Marathon – Another Race to Remember next year. Who’s with me?
What did you do yesterday? Did you do anything to remember the tenth anniversary of September 11, 2001?
New Traditions
Here we are at the top of Mont Tremblant in Quebec, Canada after an hour and a half hike back in August. If it looks cold and cloudy to you, you are correct. We actually hiked into the clouds, and the temperature dropped noticeably as we made are ascent to the top. As we journeyed up the mountain, our kids repeatedly spoke of a new family tradition. You see, last summer, we hiked to the top of Sterling Mountain and Madonna Mountain when we were on vacation in Vermont. So two years in a row must make a tradition.
Family traditions like this can have a huge positive impact on our families. Traditions create fun expectations for everyone in the family. For example, my family always anticipates putting up the Christmas tree and listening to each other share stories as they hang up Christmas ornaments that have special significance. We also look forward to certain meals that have some tradition and family history tied to them. For example, I love to make, serve, and eat the Swedish Christmas meal. It brings back so many sweet memories of my grandparents, cousins, and parents.
This year as we rode the cable car down to the bottom of Mont Tremblant (yes, we cheated), our kids were already scheming and asking about where we could go next year on vacation that has a mountain we can climb. Despite the fatigue of climbing, I shared their excitement for continuing our new family tradition next year.
What traditions do you keep? Why? What is the special significance of these traditions?
A New Beginning
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
Today is a day of new beginnings for our family. Hannah starts her last year of middle school. She is smart and confident and ready to go. As I mentioned a few days ago, Isaac starts his first year of middle school. I’m still blown away by how quickly this came up. And today, Leanne starts a new job! She will be helping preschool age children with special needs as she works as a behavioral therapist for Potential Discoveries. (She’ll be great!)
God’s timing in each of these new beginnings has been amazing. These opportunities have come at just the right time. I rejoice today as I recognize God’s faithfulness to us despite our impatience and anxiety.
I’m excited about a couple of new beginnings for me as well. I’ll keep you in suspense as I’m looking forward to sharing in future blog posts about what is new with me.
What’s new with you?
Be Generous
Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.
Psalm 112:5
When Leanne and I were celebrating our 15th anniversary in Cape Cod, we met Bob (above). Bob met us one morning as we were getting off the boat on Nantucket. This meeting had been arranged by Bob’s son who goes to our church, and I want to make sure I never forget what we experienced. I don’t want to forget this day, because it was truly a great reminder of generosity. Here’s what happened.
Leanne and I decided that we should go to Nantucket on the actual day of our 15th anniversary. We arranged the visit boat ride over to the island from Cape Cod through Mary, our bed and breakfast hostess. We decided to take our bikes on the boat, so we could enjoy some biking and sight-seeing during our once in a lifetime day trip. As we unloaded our bikes from the boat, we met Bob. He was standing there patiently waiting for us in anticipation of starting the tour. Bob took us over to his yacht club where we dropped off his bike and proceeded to walk a few blocks up a hill to The First Congregational Church where our friend from church had been married. We walked up to the bell tower to enjoy spectacular views of Nantucket.
After walking back down to the yacht club, we jumped in Bob’s Suzuki Sidekick. From here, Bob took us all over the town where we saw The Oldest House on the island, the old windmill, and some homes of well-known business people and celebrities. The town is beautiful with its cobblestone streets and its blooming hydrangea bushes. As we traveled around the town, it was obvious that Bob knew many facts about this town and he was so happy to be able to share the place he loves with us.
When we got back to the yacht club, Bob offered to take us for a ride in his boat. At this point, I was beginning to wonder if I was dreaming – was I going to wake up back at home in Pennsylvania? Bob drove us around the harbor area of Nantucket and pointed out various homes and sites. He also shared stories about his family and about his business. You could tell he was particularly proud of his kids. The boat ride was so refreshing, and I felt like I was flying along the water as we motored across the harbor. It was a boat ride to remember. (Leanne even had an opportunity to drive the boat.)
Our time with Bob wasn’t over when we arrived back at the yacht club. Bob invited us to lunch at the club. It was an offer we couldn’t refuse – and I’m not sure he would have taken no for an answer. We enjoyed sandwiches and lemonades on the patio overlooking the tennis courts and harbor. Bob continued with stories of the yacht club. He told us about the boat races that he and his brother had won. He shared about how his kids had grown up at the yacht club every summer. He wasn’t bragging. He was celebrating. He was expressing thanksgiving for what he had experienced.
Following lunch, we said our good-byes. As Leanne and I walked to our bikes, we looked at each other and agreed that we would never forget our 15th anniversary, and we would never forget the generosity of Bob – a man we had never met before this day, a man who expressed generosity to complete strangers. I don’t anticipate the business success that Bob has had in his life (although I suppose that’s possible), but I want to be like Bob when it comes to being generous. Thanks, Bob for a great day and an important reminder to be generous.
Have you ever experienced generosity that blew you away?