Less Like Scars
“It’s been a hard year, but I’m climbing out of the rubble.
These lessons are hard, healing changes are subtle.”
– Sara Groves
Recently, I’ve had several people ask how things are going…how’s Leanne? Almost a year ago, Leanne was hospitalized. We’ve spent the past year recovering and rediscovering new normals, new priorities, and renewed appreciation and passion for each other, for friends and family, and for life. God is good!
As I look back on my journal and my blog from the past year I see pain, loneliness, and despair, but I also see healing, connection, and hope. Sara Groves song, Less Like Scars, speaks so clearly to my thoughts as I look back on this past year.
It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s
Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember
And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character
Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending
And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars
Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come
And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you
And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars
And more like
Character
Today, I rejoice. I praise God for significant milestones achieved in the healing process. I’m thankful for a new compassion for families faced with the challenges of mental illness and other health problems. And I smile as I realize the promise of a bright future with hope for tomorrow. God is good!
(And by the way, Leanne is doing well – and so am I. Thanks for asking.)
How are you? How have you seen your scars transformed?
Heart Broken – Guest Post at Big B
Today, I have the privilege of presenting my first guest blog post over at Big B. Big B is the blog for an incredible young man named Brandon who is passionate about music, leadership, and God. I’ve connected with him on-line over the past couple of months, and I have been inspired by words. Please check out my post and please support Brandon by adding his blog to your regular reading.
Here’s an excerpt from my post:
It can be easy to fall into the trap of tunnel vision. We can all become so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on what’s happening to those around us. In many cases, we don’t even see those we walk by on the street or sit next to on the train. We live and operate in a world of me, me, me.
A recent family vacation to Canada took my family into Montreal for a day. There’s nothing like a vacation and a trip into a city to jolt one out of their routine and snap one to attention to things that matter. We had a wonderful time touring around Montreal. We saw many of the famous tourist sites including the market at Jean-Talon, the view of the city from the top of Mont Royal, Old Montreal, and the port. All these places were new and interesting, but I will always remember a brief encounter with a young man in a park near the home of the Montreal Canadians. Here’s how I remembered the encounter in my journal…
(If you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger on my blog, please leave me a comment. I’d love to connect with you. Also, I would certainly welcome other opportunities to be a guest blogger on your blog, so you can leave me a comment on that as well.)
Googling God
As a little kid, I can remember having lots of questions about God, heaven, and life. I asked questions like, “Who created God?” and “Where did God come from?” I asked, “What was there before God created the heavens and the earth?” As I was driving home from work yesterday, I was reminded of my child-like curiousity. For some reason I questioned to myself, “What language will we speak in heaven?” and “How will we understand each other? Will we have decoders built in to our heavenly bodies?” I know these questions sound somewhat humorous, but it’s the jumping off point for many other questions that race around my head.
Last year at this time, I found my self asking God more questions as I stood by my wife as she battled the challenges of bipolar disorder. At one point, I asked “Why?” “Why would God allow us to go through this?” “Why is there bipolar disorder?” “Why doesn’t anyone talk about mental illness and the challenges that come to families as a result of these illnesses?” These questions still race around my head.
I think we all have questions for God that range across a wide spectrum from humorous to curiosity to doubt. Last night, I asked my men’s group what questions they have for God, and it was amusing and interesting to hear their responses.
How was God always there?
Where was God born?
Will I be able to fly in heaven?
If God is all knowing and all powerful, why would He need or desire our love?
Why do I ask why questions?
Will Jesus out trash-talk me?
Will I get full at the banquet table?
Are there bathrooms in heaven?
Do we eat in heaven?
Will all our questions be answered in heaven?
What it there to do in heaven?
Will I really be singing all day?
Do I have free will in heaven?
These were just a few of the questions that were brought up as we sat around the table. I think it can be healthy to ask questions. But there’s also a trust factor. I know that God is in control. I know that He knows what is best. I know that I’m not God. But I still have questions from time to time.
How about you? What questions do you have for God?
The Gift of Camping
This past weekend, we celebrated the 1oth anniversary of a great family camping tradition. We’ve been camping with the same four families since the beginning. It’s been amazing to watch our kids grow up together. Isaac was two and potty training on our first rainy camping trip to Locust Lake State Park. Now, Isaac’s eleven, and he’s becoming a wonderful young man. The story is similar for all the other kids as well. It’s truly been a gift to experience the richness of these friendships year after year. I look forward to many, many more family camping trips to come.
Nine out of the ten years, we have camped in a Pennsylvania State Park. Pennsylvania is the only state that has an established chaplaincy program in its state parks. Most years, we have worshiped together at the camp’s Sunday worship service. This year was no different as we walked down to the outdoor amphitheater following a delicious camp breakfast. I love my church, but there is something refreshing about getting outdoors and stripping away the music and lights and air conditioning.
At the service, Chaplain Jason shared from the passage in Romans. Jason’s message provided some great reminders:
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Romans 12:1-8
1. I have gifts. I should be sharing these gifts.
2. My gifts are different from other people’s gifts. We all have different gifts.
3. Everyone’s gifts are important to completing the work of the body.
4. I’m not gifted in everything. Saying no sometimes is okay.
I’m sure there were some other great points, but these are the ones that struck me.
What fun family traditions do you have?
How are you using the gifts that God has given you?
Coming Back From Vacation
Getting back into the swing of things following nine days of vacation can be a real challenge. I especially felt this Monday and Tuesday as I was playing catch up on e-mails, phone calls, and required meetings. I feel like I have a lot to learn about how to transition from vacations and other breaks back into the routines of work and family activities. There’s got to be a way to keep the refreshment alive. There should be some ways to prevent post vacation burnout.
Some ideas come to mind:
1. Schedule margins in your schedule to breath and to relax even if it’s just for 15 minutes. This is challenging for me – especially at work where I am on call all the time for help in making decisions or for scheduling resources. I have tried to make it a habit to step out of the office for a few minutes at lunch time. This gives me a chance to get some fresh air, to touch base with my wife on her day, and to catch my breath before heading into the afternoon.
2. Keep thoughts of vacation alive by talking about your vacation and sharing pictures. I love to hear about the vacation adventures of my co-workers, and I like to share my stories as well. I love what I do at my job most of the time, and I really appreciate when our personal interests and adventures intersect with work.
3. Discard or put aside e-mails and other correspondence that are not important, are not urgent, and can be put off until later or not read at all. I know this can be challenging as it requires a discerning filter, but it’s important. In today’s information driven world, we have to relearn that it’s okay to miss out on some things. We don’t need to know every piece of information out there. What did we do before computers and the internet?
4. Compose a “to-do-list” and use it to prioritize tasks that must be attended to with greater urgency. A “to-do-list” can be helpful in documenting the things in our head. It can minimize the feeling of stress that comes from not knowing where to start.
5. Be intentional about continuing activities that provide refreshment and renewal. Leanne and I have taken a few evening strolls through our small town since returning from vacation. It may seem simple, but these walks have provided relaxation along with time together.
I wish I could say that we have it all figures out and that these five steps are easy to follow and an easy answer to overcoming post vacation burnout. But I can’t say these things. Life after vacation can be crazy – but I’m so glad we got away.
What tips do you have for transitioning from vacation back to everyday life?
Psalm 36 – Love and Faithfulness
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This morning I woke up with these words on my mind from Psalm 36:
5 Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
7 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Our vacation to Canada gave us some great visual reminders of God’s love and faithfulness.
How have you experienced God’s unfailing love and faithfulness this summer?
Finding Community On-Line
I’m a big connection and community guy. I love to see people connected in meaningful relationships. I’m passionate about being in community with others. Over the years, I have been amazed to see where community can be found. I have found it at work in the office and on construction sites. I have found community through sports – on the basketball court and on the run. I have even found community around the poker table. I appreciate the community I’ve experienced through my kids – scouts, music, and school. I have enjoyed many years of community through camping. And I’ve experienced community through small groups of various kinds and sizes.
I’ve been most surprised by the community I’ve discovered on-line. For me, it all started a few years ago when Frank Chiapperino and a few other leaders from my church started blogging and then encouraged me to blog. Initially, I discovered a lot of amazing bloggers out there who had things to share about things that interested me like small groups and leadership. I followed at a distance and carried on with my own blogging without any ideas of potential connection or community.
A couple of years later, Frank introduced me to Facebook. I was immediately sucked into the whole social media thing. I’m not sure if that was a complete blessing or a partial curse. I’m thankful for so many renewed connections and several new ones that have come as a result of Facebook. It’s been eye-opening, enlightening, and sometimes enriching to keep up with friends on Facebook. It’s also been a bit addicting, and I admittedly struggle at times with staying balanced.
Somewhere along the line, I picked up Twitter and a few other tools. Twitter has definitely been an interesting tool for discovering new information about people and topics that interest me. I’ve especially enjoyed the “listed” option on Twitter where users can assemble lists of Twitter users with similar interests. I have discovered many small group gurus, leadership junkies, and several blogging buddies.
Next, I picked up Skype and Tokbox which allow for free live web video chatting. I’ve enjoyed using Skype with my family – especially my parents who live in far away Dallas, TX. A year or two ago, I decided to try an experiment with Tokbox. Tokbox was easier to use for multiple participants than Skype was at the time, so I decided to lead an on-line small group using Mark Batterson‘s recently released book – Primal. I was impressed by the depth of conversation that took place as this experiment launched. And I see a lot of potential for fostering community through this type of technology.
Most recently, I have discovered incredible community through interactive blogging. By actively participating in the dialogue that transpires in the comments that follow a post (on my own blog or on other people’s blogs), blogging becomes interactive. My life is enriched by these comments – by this community. I have discovered many new friends like Michael Shaw who blogs about the local town of Skippack, Jason Fountain who blogs about being intentional with life, and Beck Gambill who blogs about the ups and downs of life.
If you’re reading, you’re probably part of this community. I would encourage you to take the next step – either start your own blog or become active in the comment conversations that take place on your favorite blogs. (If you start you’re own blog, let me know so I can follow along.)
On a final note, while I strongly encourage finding community on-line, there’s nothing like face-to-face community. Find a group of people you can plug into your life. Lift each other up. Hold each other accountable. Meet regularly. Grow together!
How have you experienced community on-line and face-to-face?
Small Holdings Festival
Recently, one of my office team members invited me to bring my family to a new festival being held in Bucks County, PA. The First Annual Small Holdings Festival showcased area suburban self starters. The various exhibitors were regular people who found have found ways to live off the land, to live off the labors of their own hands, and to make decisions that will provide while being good stewards of the earth around us.
My team member, Eric, spends his spare time running Barefoot Gardens with his wife, Linda. Together, they take care of a “farm” that serves their CSA and provides for local restaurants who are seeking to serve locally grown produce to their patrons. Part of Eric’s farm includes raising approximately 100 egg laying chickens. (Eric has become one of my mentors in the whole chicken farming thing.) Eric built a chicken coop for the festival.
Other exhibitors for the festival included bee keepers, cheese makers, gardeners, canning experts, vegetable fermenting experts, bread makers, clay oven makers, and several others. I was definitely inspired by the talents presented at this festival. And I look forward to going again next year!
What inspires you? If you could try something new, what would it be?
The Better Way
Today, I’m honored to present another guest blogger. Terri Stone is the Director of Pastoral Care at my church. I’ve had the privilege of serving with Terri over the past several years, and I’ve met few people who can connect and remember people like Terri. Today, Terri shares her current STRETCHING story with us. Enjoy!
(If you’re interested in guest posting on my blog, please drop me a comment. I’d love to connect with you.)
I’ve spent the last 11 years stretching. I should be good and warmed up; ready for anything. Serving on the ministry staff at my church has given me the opportunity to do more things and meet more people than I ever imagined I would in my lifetime. Being in the mix of a fast growing church has had me “burning the midnight oil” for a very long time. I have to be clear, though, and say that no one demanded I burn the midnight oil; I chose to burn it myself. My personality is one that needs to be busy from sunrise to sunset or I feel like a useless, lazy, non-contributing person. Crazy, I know.
I’ve had a few different jobs in my tenure at the church. I’ve seen staff members come; and I’ve seen them go off to do awesome things. I’ve been part of large outreach events, classes, small groups, Sunday services, baptisms, mission trips, and capital campaigns…and this is the short list. The thought of having enough time in the day to get everything done has been unheard of. This was the case until recently. I’m now in the job where I’m perfectly gifted to serve. I’m no longer involved in every single thing that happens at the church being pulled in a million different directions. Now my days are focused, helping people with their spiritual questions, life struggles and personal needs. I have time to think and pray, plan and strategize about how to build a new ministry from the ground up.
And while I absolutely love how I’m serving, it’s been one of the most challenging things I’ve encountered in ministry. The task list has changed. The “to do” list has become the “who list.” To say the least, this new place in ministry has me stretching in ways that I’m not used to stretching.
I think about the story, in Luke’s Gospel, of the two sisters, Martha and Mary. Martha welcomes Jesus and his crew into her home where she and her sister promptly choose two different approaches to their interaction with Jesus. Martha fusses with taking care of the needs of her guests while Mary ignores all the others and all the preparations so she can hang out with Jesus. Martha complains asking Jesus to tell her sister to help. Jesus’ response is not what she expects, “Martha, Martha,”…“you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
What I’ve come to realize is that I’ve been like that complaining sister! I’ve been busy “doing” ministry; all the while fussing about something or somebody. For someone like me, it’s strange not to have a task list a mile long of what must get done. Having more tasks than I can handle has always equaled value. But Jesus is saying there’s a better way. The better way has me stretching to be contemplative, to be quiet, to be more prayerful and to listen. In doing so, I’ll actually be better prepared to do the people things, “who list” things God has for me to do.
I think there’s a great lesson in the story for all of us. Jesus needs us to be with him first before we can really do what he has for us to do. After reading the story in Luke 10, there are some questions we need to ask ourselves. Am I serving Jesus in the right way for the right reasons? Is my busyness “for Jesus” to impress others with all I have to do? What will it take to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen so we can learn his better way for us?
Examine your service to Jesus and others. Invite him to show you what he truly desires the outcome of your time with him to be.
My Good Versus God’s Good
I have the privilege today of presenting guest blogger, Jeff Whitebread. Jeff (or Pumpernickel as I like to call him) is a good friend and sincere brother. Jeff is just starting his own blog (see the link below), and he has so generously volunteered to share his current STRETCHING story here.
(If you’re interested in guest posting on my blog, please drop me a comment. I’d love to connect with you.)
It certainly is a pleasure to be a guest contributor on my good friend’s blog. In sticking with the theme of being stretched, it is always helpful when I consider God’s purpose in stretching my life. For when I focus on life’s circumstances, I can often feel overwhelmed and find myself being swept away in moments of despair. For in the midst of life’s turmoil, I can feel as if I am being pulled apart from the inside, as if a part of me is dying. I am left with these nagging thoughts. Why does God make life so hard? If life is this hard, am I doing something wrong?
Romans 8:28-29 says,
(28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (29) For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
As I read this passage, an obvious truth jumps out from V28. God works all things for the good of those who love him, not some things or most things. God is working every single thing in my life out for my good. If I love God, then I can take this truth to the bank. I can believe this truth and live according to this truth. But wait, not everything that happens to me appears to be good, and here my story of being stretched begins.
When I was told, I was losing my job several weeks ago my first reaction was not, “thank you God this is so good.” It was a shock. I had to pick my jaw up off the table. Now, you must understand, I knew my job was going to end. I have been working for an insurance company that has been going out of business since 2001. When I started working for this company, it had 6,000 employees, and now it has only 150. During this 11 year process, I have seen God reawaken my heart and set a desire to serve him in the full-time ministry. I have viewed these last several years as a time of transition, as a time of preparation to leave the IT field and serve God where He calls.
As God began to open and close doors in my life, I developed a plan for how things were going to work out. I began thinking about how I was going to transition from working as an IT geek to being a missionary to our elected officials in Harrisburg. It was a smooth transition, it was neat and clean and in truth it required little risk and even less faith. After all, I will be serving the Lord; He would certainly bless such pure intentions. What I failed to see and what God is teaching me and stretching me to understand is this truth. God has a different purpose in mind. While I am focused on the destination, God’s laser beam focus is on me as an individual.
Let’s take a step back and ask ourselves, how does God define the word “good” in v28? We quickly realize through life’s circumstances that God is not working in our lives the way we might desire Him to work. He is doing something strange to us; He is taking us places we have no interest going. Our hearts cry out as we try to make sense of the situations we face. You see V29 tells us the goal, the good thing God is doing in our lives. What God desires for us, what He is working to accomplish through every situation and circumstance we face is to become like Jesus. This is what He wants; this is what He is doing. When we face the hard times in life we can hold onto this truth – this difficult and challenging situation is in my life because God is doing something good. His purpose for me is to be conformed to the image of His Son. He is working in my life and taking me through the hard time because his desire is that Christ may be formed in my life.
As I face the realities of my life and think of how God is at work, my plan no longer makes sense. I cannot connect the dots. I did not expect to be out of a job for another 2-3 years, I thought I would be one of the last people employed in my company. Obviously, God had a different plan from mine. Now I face the fact of raising my support, of trusting God with opening people’s hearts toward this ministry. As I look for God to validate my call through the financial commitment of others, it is humbling, it is scary, and yet it is where God has placed me in my journey to follow Him. I can say through the eyes of faith it is good. Whether I end up in this ministry or serve God in some other area, no matter what happens to my family and the things we place our security on, God is working to create in me the image of His Son.
The book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is crowned with glory and honor because He suffered death (Heb 2:9). The path our Lord went down was one of sacrifice and suffering, if this was required of our Lord, should we expect that to become like Him would require anything less for our lives. The worldly part of our heart cries out, “No! Please give us another way.” Yet the cross stands and proclaims that there is no other way in which we can serve our great and glorious King, Jesus the Christ. Is it easy? Never! Is it worth it? Every single moment, for God is actively working for the “good” of our lives.
Through the encouragement of Jon, I am being stretched in another area, I have decided to start blogging about this journey. If you would like to read my attempt to write about this journey, please check out On The Narrow Road.
All for the glory of God!
Jeff
Where do you see Christ being formed in your life? How have you seen hard times actually used for good?