Black and White
The other night, my wife and I work driving our daughter and three of her friends to a girls only event at our church. As we picked up each girl, it was funny how the car became more noisy. As we made our way to our destination, my wife and I listened as the four girls laughed, giggled, and discussed things from hair to birthday parties to the school play. We couldn’t help but eavesdrop when one of our daughter’s friends started sharing about The Black Notebook and The White Notebook. I didn’t catch all the “rules” about these two notebooks, but I did catch the general idea.
Each year, you start with two notebooks – one is white, and the other is black. In the white book, you write all the good things – things that happened to you that were good, good thoughts or ideas, and things you want to remember. And in the black book, you write all the bad things – things that didn’t go your way, bad thoughts or ideas, and things you don’t necessarily want to remember. As the year goes on, the pages of each notebook fills up with good and bad stuff. Throughout the year, you refer to the white notebook when you’re having a bad day – when you need a lift. And you generally keep the black notebook closed unless you’re adding something to it. At the end of the year, you burn the black notebook, and you keep the white notebook for future reference. And of course, you get two new notebooks to start the next year!
Seems kind of interesting. I think this is part of the reason that I blog and journal. I want to record my thoughts and ideas – especially the good ones. I think it’s helpful to see how God is working in my life. I think it’s an interesting exercise to burn the “black” books in our lives. I think it can be very healthy to put aside the things that drag us down and to focus on the future and the things that uplift us.
It’s amazing what you pick up when you listen to your kids and their friends!
What you have your kids taught you? How do you handle your thoughts and ideas? Do you journal or blog about the good and the bad?
Running Over Mountains
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. I Corinthians 9:24-27
I love running analogies! As a runner (I think I can say that), I especially resonate with a few of the scriptures that tie running or other sports to living our faith. The scripture above is definitely one of my favorites.
From yesterday’s post, you’ll remember that I ran over 20 miles on Saturday morning. I ran the Perkiomen Trail from Green Lane to Oaks, and I finished up my run at the parking lot by Pawlings Road. If you’re not familiar with the trail, there is a “mountain” in the middle of the trail. Seriously, Spring Mountain (our local ski “resort”) is 7.5 miles south of Green Lane. Skiers in our area joke around that it should be called Spring Bump, because it’s not that big compared to some of the ski mountains just an hour or two away in the Poconos. But I can tell you, that whether it’s a bump, a hill, or a mountain, it’s not easy to run up Spring Mountain. But it is possible. I did it Saturday in the middle of my long run.
How did I do it? That’s a good question. First, I knew it was coming. I’ve run every part of this trail several times. I knew that this obstacle was inevitable. Second, I stayed focused on one step at a time. I literally shortened by stride, put my head down, and concentrated on the next step. Third, I remembered that there was more to come. I still had 13 miles to run. I couldn’t let my mind and body give in now. Fourth, I thought about the prize waiting for me at the end. Leanne was scheduled to pick me up at 10 AM. I had to keep going in order to reach my bride. Finally, I remembered that this run was necessary to prepare me for my upcoming marathon. How would I survive the marathon if I gave in now.
I think Paul’s running analogy is so appropriate to life (and ties into my running experience this weekend). First, Paul talks about the importance of going into strict training. I think this means studying God’s word and finding how it applies to our lives. Second, Paul seems to point to the necessity for strategy in living out our faith. Living our faith aimlessly isn’t fruitful. Third, Paul realized that more was expected of him. Training wasn’t the end, there was more to come. There was more preaching and sharing that lied ahead. Fourth, Paul clearly had the end in mind as he trained to share his faith with others. He clearly pursued that through his life. And finally, he knew it would be hard, he knew it would take effort and hard work, and he kept going.
This speaks to me. I want to run the race of life in such a way that honors God and brings Him glory.
As for my running, my body is still recovering from Saturday, but I’m happy to say that I got back to running this morning. Just a few more weeks until the marathon!
How’s your training going? What are you doing to prepare for “the race”?
Running Partner
Jon Stolpe – Facebook Status
Saturday, November 6, 2011
20.87 miles 3 hours 10 minutes 40 seconds. The last 4 or 5 were pretty tough. I definitely could have used a running partner (or FIGILC – Joe will get this). I saw 68 people – 2 whom I knew, 6 deer, and a bunch of dogs. What a beautiful morning for a run on the (entire) Perkiomen Trail!
This was my Facebook status an hour or so after finishing a big run on Saturday morning. There’s a lot of different things you can pull from the update like the fact that I’m a big numbers guy (who counts people and deer while they’re running?), I must be serious about this running a marathon thing (who runs 20 miles for fun on a Saturday?), or that I was still positive after putting my body through over three hours of pure torture (did you notice how nice it was on Saturday morning?).
But I keep coming back to two sentences in this update. “The last 4 or 5 (miles) were pretty tough. I definitely could have used a running partner.”
I guess that would be expected. After Saturday’s experience and the soreness I’ve been dealing with since, I’m not sure the body was meant to run this long. For me, Saturday’s run was such a great reminder that we need people in our lives who will “run” the tough miles with us. Life will not always be easy. We will face times in our life when we want to give up, when we doubt ourselves, when we feel like we just can’t go on. These are the times when we need people who can push us, encourage us, and maybe even carry us.
While I didn’t have anyone with me for those last few miles on Saturday, I did have the anticipation of seeing my wife at the finish – that thought definitely helped. When it comes to the rest of life, I know there are people in my life who will “run” the tough miles with me. I’ve experienced this. When my wife and I went through tough times last year, we had family and friends who surrounded us with meals, prayer, and all kinds of support. I’m so thankful for these “running partners” in my life.
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
How about you? Do you have any “running partners”? Who’s got your back? Who in your life will “run” those tough miles with you?
Hope, Compassion, Love, and Faithfulness – Happy Halloween
Happy Halloween! I cannot believe that we are here at the last day of October. (I also cannot believe that we had snow this weekend, but that’s another story.) As I look back on the past month, I am thankful for God’s faithfulness and steadfast love. As I recall, I started this month with feelings of anxiety and anticipation as we continued through a season of difficult memories. Last year, Leanne came home from the hospital on October 1st and began extended care at a day program. As we went through October last year, we were definitely trying to find a rock to stand on – some sort of normal – some type of answer that everything would be okay.
So as we started this October, things had been moving along pretty well. We had started to hit a “normal” stride. There was nothing to say that was going to change. But I still carried some memories of last year. As October has revealed itself each day, I have been relieved and renewed to see God’s faithfulness. We’ve had a lot of things to be thankful for this month like: a family trip to the Apple Farm/Pumpkin Patch, spectating at several of Hannah’s cross-country meets, enjoying food and friends at our 1st ever Chilifest, having the opportunity to serve at the Norristown Community House and Cradles to Crayons, and having the opportunity to share at a Group Leader Meeting.
While I’ve been processing these thoughts these days, it was appropriate that one of my readings from this weekend came from the book of Lamentations. In this passage, I am reminded of hope, never-ending compassion, unfailing love, and enduring faithfulness that comes from God. This is a great way to leave the month of October!
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.
Lamentations 3:21-33
How have you experienced God’s hope, never-ending compassion, unfailing love, and enduring faithfulness this month?
Cradles to Crayons
Last night, we took our H.O.P.E. group to West Conshohocken to the Cradles to Crayons Philadelphia warehouse. Here we gathered clothing for clothing packs for boys and girls of various sizes. And then we put together complete packages of clothing, toys, books, coats, boots, shoes, and even birthday presents for kids. Cradles to Crayons serves five counties in the Philadelphia area. They collect clothing and toys – mostly used, but still in good shape. They sort and clean the donated items, and then they utilize their volunteers to get the donations ready to go back out the door.
I didn’t know what to fully expect when we walked in the door, and it took a few minutes to get up to speed on what was really going on. But I left with a deeper appreciation for Cradles to Crayons and their mission. This was a perfect activity for our service group as we could work together and help make a difference for some kids in our area. If your family, your company, or your group is looking for a way to serve in a practical way, I would definitely recommend checking out Cradles to Crayons. They would be overjoyed to have your help sorting and cleaning donations or in just dropping off some donations.
How and where have you served recently?
ChiliFest
This Saturday, we had a blast at our house – the first ever ChiliFest! We invited several couples over with the idea that they would bring over their own chili to share with the rest of the guests. We provided drinks, salad, dessert, and corn bread. It was so fun to get together with couples who represented a hodgepodge of our friendships from the area. There were friends from our neighborhood, friends from our old neighborhood, and friends from our church. We enjoyed White Chicken Chili, Taco Chili, Buffalo Chicken Chili, Spicy Green Pork Chili, Pork/Beef/Beer Chili, and Traditional Tex-Mex Chili. As we enjoyed the Chili, guests voted for their favorite chili’s in six different categories: Most Unique Chili, Most Delicious Chili, Most Spicy Chili, Most Likely to Serve at Home Chili, Most Colorful Chili, and Best Overall Chili. The winners of each category took home a unique bottle of hot sauce.
Besides the great food, we enjoyed great times with friends. It was neat to see people from our friendship circles interacting with people they had never met before. When we bought our house six years ago, we planned to use our home as a place to welcome our friends and neighbors – to bring connection and community to those around us. Saturday’s ChiliFest was a great reminder for us! I can’t wait until the next get together at our house.
What fun ideas do you have for fun in-home gatherings?
Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know
Yesterday, I had the honor and privilege of sharing my thoughts to a group of small group leaders at our church. I shared 5 of my ideas in an earlier post, but I thought you might enjoy hearing my complete list. So here are my notes:
I’m excited about this opportunity to share. If you don’t know me or if you haven’t figured it out, I’m extremely passionate about small groups. I truly believe they can provide a path for connection to others and to God. I also believe that small groups play an important role in accountability and discipleship. In no way is this list the Bible of small group leaders. It’s just my thoughts based on my involvement with small groups in various capacities for nearly 20 years. I’ve participated in groups. I’ve led groups. I’ve led group leaders. And I even had the privilege of leading a team of coaches. (I was also brought up in a home where small groups were important and modeled by my parents.) As I share my ideas, I’d encourage you to take a few notes. So here goes:
1. Small group leaders are important. They play a big part in helping people find community, find God, and find growth. If you are a small group leader, you need to know that what you do matters.
2. Small group leaders set the tone. Whether or not you consider yourself a Biblical scholar, your group members look to you as an example. For this reason, it’s important that small group leaders continue to model growth. They should be in the Word. They should develop disciplines that model growth. Small group leaders aren’t perfect, but they must find others who will hold them accountable to setting the tone.
3. Small groups are not about small group leaders. Small groups aren’t meant to showcase your incredible “holiness” or biblical knowledge. Small groups aren’t meant to show off how great you are as a leader. Small groups are about the group – about pointing people to God.
3A. Small groups aren’t just about the groups either. Get out there and serve with your group. Find a way once a month or once every other month to get out there and serve together. Adopt a place that your group can focus on. There are many area nursing homes, soup kitchens, food and clothing pantries, etc. that would love to have the support of your group. Getting your group involved in this type of service gets your group focused on others and allows your group to practically put into motion what following Christ is all about.
4. Small group leaders aren’t supposed to live on an island. Leaders must find ways to stay strong and spiritually fervent. They must also have a support team to provide guidance when small group life gets tough – and it usually will. (I wrote about this on my blog over a year ago.)
5. Small group leaders must be invitational. Intimacy and transparency in groups can be great, but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to invite others into the group. I’m a big proponent of the “open chair” policy in small groups. If you’re a small group leader, set the tone. Make sure there is always an open chair in your group for new group members and guests. Talk about it with your group. Don’t let it be optional.
6. Small group leaders aren’t perfect. I think I said this before. Group leaders must be honest with themselves. They must learn to ask for help. Maybe you stink at the administrative stuff, or maybe you’re a terrible host. Look to those around you. Get others to use their gifts to help the group and to help you as a leader. Not only does this make you and the group better, but it engages others into the group experience. People want to be asked to help. They are often just waiting for you to ask them to get involved.
7. Being a small group leader isn’t always easy. Let’s face it, nobody likes to deal with EGRs (Extra Grace Required people). But it can also be challenging when people in your group are going through difficult life circumstances. People in your groups will get sick, they’ll have messed up relationships, and they’ll make mistakes that carry significant consequences. You may be required to get involved with the mess. Embrace it. God may have placed you in leadership for such a time as this.
8. Seek advice and wisdom from trusted advisers. Your pastor, group life pastor and others who have been doing small group ministry for a while can be helpful. They will know how to react. They will know when to bring in assistance. (I have also found a lot of great small group leader advice and resources on-line. Mention blogs – Because Relationships Matter by Kathy Guy, Heather Zempel, Life & Theology by Ben Reed, Mark Howell Live by Mark Howell, Simple Small Groups by Bill Search, Small Group Books.com by Ryan Knight, Small Group Pastors by the Central Christian Church in Las Vegas, The Naked Truth About Small Group Ministry by Randall Neighbor, and Will Johnston – of NCC.)
9. Lean into the small group leader community. Make it a priority to be here for each quarterly meeting. Connect with each other outside this meeting. Go to lunch or breakfast together. When you see each other in and out of church, stop, ask, and share about your group.
9A. Be patient. It may take time for your small group to grow. I remember starting our first group at our church. We met at our house. The Stolpes and the Callahans. This was it week after week after week. Then we added the Santangelos. Then the Bonanis started coming. Suddenly our small living room was filling up. We switched over to the Callahans. Before we knew it, we had to split up into three different rooms. The group had grown so much. I have seen this trend again and again. Don’t give up! It may take a little while for your group to catch on. Remember that God is there when two or more gather in His name.
10. Be passionate! My list started with a reminder that what you do as a small group leader matters. Realize this fact. Think about it. Believe it. Act like it! You have a great honor and privilege to lead others in their journey towards Christ. This is awesome stuff! Be excited about what you are doing. Spread the excitement to others!
That’s my top 10 (or 12) things that small group leaders should know. I’d love to hear your ideas and questions. Before that, I’d like to leave you with this. Thank you! Thank you for stepping up to serve. Thank you for getting out of your comfort zone. Thank you for leading. Thank you for leading when it’s fun and when it’s not. Thank you for making a difference. Thank you for caring enough to help others connect to others and to God.
So these were my notes. I would add another point based on some of the discussion that followed our meeting. We’ll call it number 7A: You may need to be flexible. Sometimes life happens, and you need to throw out your plans for the meeting to address concerns that need immediate attention.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
What would you add to the list? How have you seen these points in your small group experience?
It’s Official – I Signed Up For A Marathon
Last week, I mentioned that I was toying around with the idea of running a marathon in the near future. On Saturday, I signed up for The Thanksgiving Marathon that takes place on Thanksgiving morning in the Bronx, NYC, NY. So naturally, I kept up with my running over the weekend to stay on track for being ready for this target race.
Saturday, I ran 5 quick and easy miles on the beloved Perkiomen Trail. It felt good! And it was beautiful to run on a section of the trail that I haven’t been on for a while. And then Sunday morning before church, I ran 18.7 miles (again on the Perkiomen Trail). Overall, the run went very well. I definitely ran more quickly than I should have, but it felt fine up until the last two or three miles. I think I’ll need a day or two for my legs to recover from this run. Going up and down stairs isn’t meant to be such a challenge. My legs better recover soon though, so I can get back to training for the upcoming marathon.
So our family is starting to plan our trip to NYC. We’ll miss seeing members of our extended family over the Thanksgiving holiday, but I’m sure we’ll have many new exciting memories as we embark on this adventure.
What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Do you have any fun, crazy, or interesting traditions?
Marathon? I’m Thinking About It
If you’ve been following along for a couple of months, you may have realized that I’ve been running lately. In September, I ran the first ever Perk Trail Half Marathon – A Race To Remember (by myself). The past couple of months, I’ve had the privilege of running with a couple of friends as they’ve pumped out a couple of their longer training runs in preparation for their marathons. One of my good friends just ran his first marathon last weekend, The Steamtown Marathon in Scranton, PA. And another friend is getting ready to run his first marathon in a week or so, The St. Louis Marathon. Running with these guys has made me realize that another marathon may not be so far off for me. I’ve run over 17 miles and still felt great (or as good as can be expected after running 17 miles). So why not consider a marathon myself? That’s a great question. So…I started looking around for a marathon to run either in late fall or early spring or maybe both.
I could run the first ever Bucks County Marathon on November 20th. This one looks attractive, because it’s relatively close to home, it’s a certified course, and it’s all trail. I’m just not sure I want to pay the entry fee to be part of this inaugural race. Also, I’ve already run a marathon in Pennsylvania. If I’m every going to run one in each state, I don’t want to waste my marathon effort running a second marathon in the same state.
I could run the Rehoboth Beach Marathon on December 10th. This would be in Delaware, so it would be a different state than my previous two marathons. It looks like a well established race on a certified course. It’s a possibility.
I could run the Ocean Drive Marathon in New Jersey. This March 25th race starts in Cape May, NJ and ends in See Isle, NJ. This point to point race could be pretty scenic as it runs 26 miles up the Jersey coast. I have to wonder what this winds are like on this course. This could definitely be a possibility for the spring.
As I was doing my research, I came across a unique marathon possibility. The Thanksgiving Marathon on November 24th takes place in Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx, New York City, New York. The race isn’t certified, but I don’t think that matters to me. The race doesn’t have any aid stations, but I could carry my own water and food. The race doesn’t come with any fancy T-shirts or running expo. But the race is FREE! You just sign-up, show-up, and run. For finishers of this race which takes place Thanksgiving morning, a 12 inch engraved fork is your reward along with the satisfaction of knowing you earned the calories that you will consume for this year’s Thanksgiving Day meal. I haven’t signed up yet, but I’m definitely thinking that this may be the one.
What do you think? Anyone interested in joining me? Are there any other marathons that I should consider?
Goals like this are great for keeping us focused and moving forward. But it doesn’t have to be a marathon or hiking up Mt. Everest or swimming across the Gulf of Mexico. I’ve been inspired by many who are pursuing their own C25K goal (Coach To 5K). Whatever it is, set a goal. Go after it. You can do it!
So what’s one of your goals? What are you doing to pursue it?
ServeFest – Norristown Community House
Saturday morning after witnessing the Phillies‘ dismal performance on Friday night, I had a chance to lift by spirits by spending time with my family and the Bowersox family at the Norristown Community House. Our church was sponsoring a huge day of serving in our area, and we hooked up with the Norristown Community House thanks to a Grove City College connection with the Peter and Becky Bowersox, who are in charge of the House.
So what is the Norristown Community House? Good question. You can go to their website to get more details, but I’ll give you my take. The House is located in the heart of Norristown, PA which is the county seat of Montgomery County. Norristown is one of the poorest communities in the county. The residents of the House are young adults – primarily college students – who attend local colleges. By choosing to live in the House, they are agreeing to become part of a community where discipleship, serving, and reaching out to the community are expected. Peter and Becky (shown above with their 3 kids) act as their resident directors and guides. They make sure the House is running smoothly, and they meet with the young adults on a regular basis to participate in the discipleship process.
It really turned out to be a great morning as we helped them clean out a garage attic that was filled with lots of trash, some relics, and a few treasures. By clearing out this space which obviously hadn’t been cleaned out in years, we helped to make storage space for the residents of the house. We discovered an old salon style hair dryer, Vietnam War veteran documents, old clothes and suitcases, a box full of vinyl records, license plates, and lots of dust! Our kids enjoyed sorting through everything as we removed it from the attic.
This clean-up project was a great way to introduce our family to the Norristown Community House. I think we’ll be back to help out on some other projects and to rub shoulders with the young adults and the Bowersox family. Thanks, Becky and Peter for the opportunity to help out – and for getting my mind off the commencement of the Phillies’ golfing season.
How have you served in your community? What things have you done with your family to serve others?