Secret

When you hear the word secret, what comes to mind?

I think of sneaking around without being caught.  I think of something hidden I don’t want revealed.

“Be sure your sins will find you out.”

This is a phrase which echoes in my head from time to time.  It’s a phrase my mom used to say to my brothers and me when we were kids.  My mom was always right.  When I did something wrong (something I wanted to keep secret), it would typically be brought into the light one way or the other.

I remember having the strong sense that God was watching me as a kid.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping.  He knows when you’re awake.”  These words are part of a popular Christmas song and are attributed to Santa Claus.  For me, these words went with God (and still do).

No one can keep a secret from God.  He’s all-knowing.  This is part of my theology.

God, investigate my life;
    get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
    even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
    before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too—
    your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
    I can’t take it all in!

Yesterday, Dallas police helped recover my brother’s bass guitar from a local pawn shop.  I don’t know many details yet.  If you read yesterday’s post (Violated), you know his guitar and laptop were stolen when burglars broke into my parents house.  I’m sure the Dallas police are working to find the thieves and to determine the whereabouts of my brother’s laptop.  I don’t know if they’ll find the perpetrators or not.  But I know this.  The burglars may think they have a secret, but God knows who did it.  We’ll see what happens!

What if secrets were good?

As I was thinking about secrets today, I kept coming back to this thought:  “I want to be in the secret place.”

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”  Psalm 91:1-2 (NKJV)

I want to be in the secret place of the Most High.  This is where there is protection.  This is where there is comfort.  This is where there is relief from struggles and pains of life.

What’s your secret?  Where’s your secret place?

Violated

Burglars broke into my parents house this weekend in Dallas, Texas.  They pried open the locked front door in broad daylight while nobody was home.  The robbers grabbed my brother’s Apple Macbook Pro and one of his bass guitars.  They left without leaving a thank you note, without saying goodbye, and without locking the front door which they destroyed upon entry.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt (including the two dogs who were closed in the bathrooms in the house).  Nothing else was taken.

But I’m sure my parents and my brother felt violated.

The natural reaction to this kind of incident is anger, disappointment, and fear.  What would drive people to break into someone’s house and take what is not their property?  How do we prevent people from violating us like this?  Will they ever come back?  Will they be caught?  The list of questions and thoughts could go on for quite a while.

I was mad when I initially heard the news.

And then something hit me.  This verse came to my mind from the book of Romans:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Romans 12:14

I changed one word in the verse as I thought about the burglars – Bless those who violate you; bless and do not curse.

Really?  Bless those who broke into my parents house?  Bless those who stole my brothers stuff?  That’s easier said than done.  But it has to start somewhere.  And so, I prayed.  Here’s my prayer.

A Prayer For Those Who Violate Others

I pray the burglars would be caught.

I pray they would be rehabilitated.

I pray the robbers would recognize the error of their ways.

I pray they would feel remorse.

I pray for a transformation in their lives.

I pray for a bright future for them that differs greatly from the past which led them to robbing people’s homes.

I ultimately pray they would find God – that they would know the love of Christ and the power of His forgiveness, mercy, and grace.

This is my prayer for those who violated.

How have you responded when you’ve been violated?  What suggestions do you have for those who have been violated?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

This post is stupid.

Wait!

What I mean, this post is all about how to respond when our words or actions are stupid.

We all do stupid things.

We do things we regret – things we’d like to take back.

We have all said something dumb.  Once we say it, we want to catch our words and stuff them back into our mouths.

We’ve even done something really ugly.  We’d like to go back in time and delete a scene from our life reel.  But it’s not that easy.

If you are a college basketball fan, you may have heard about the stupid words and actions of a Texas Tech fan and an Oklahoma State basketball star.  If you missed it, Marcus Smart of Oklahoma State pushed a Texas Tech fan after words were exchanged between the two in the stands at a recent game.

I’m pretty sure, they would both like to take back there words and actions.

I don’t know all the details, but from what I’ve seen both Smart and the fan have responded pretty well since the initial incident of stupidity.

So what can we learn from the Marcus Smart incident?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

1. Stupid happens.  We all do and say dumb things.  We let our emotions get the best of us.  Stupid will happen to you again at some point.
2. An apology is the best place to start.  When you do or say something stupid, be an adult.  An adult apologizes.  If you offended someone, you need to apologize.  Here’s the deal with apologies – your apology should be real, and it shouldn’t be full of excuses.  One of the things I like about Marcus Smart’s apology speech is that he did not make excuses.  He could have said, “I apologize, but he called me a ________.”  Everything before the “but” is garbage.  When you apologize, focus on your side of the mistake, and don’t focus on how you were offended.
3. Take your punishment like a man.  Before the punishment was even determined, Marcus Smart indicated he would accept whatever punishment the NCAA and Oklahoma State gave him.  As it turns out, he was suspended for three games for his role in this incident.  Your stupid action may not get the attention of the NCAA, but it probably has some consequences.  Don’t complain about the consequences.  Deal with it.
4. Learn to laugh at yourself.  Sometimes you just have to shake your head and chuckle at yourself for your stupid words and actions.  Taking yourself a little less serious is a great way to get through your personal stupidity.
5. Learn from your stupidity.  If you said something or did something stupid, try not to do it again.  You should have learned your lesson the first time.  Only time will tell if Marcus Smart and the Texas Tech fan learned their lesson.  Hopefully, they did!

How do you respond to your own stupidity?  What additional tips to you have for others who have said or done something stupid?

Breaking Bad (Habits) – 5 Essentials For Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking Bad (Habits)

I have two confessions to make.

First, I’ve never seen an episode of Breaking Bad.  From what I understand, this is a pretty popular show that ended a couple of months ago.  Maybe, I’ll catch it on Netflix.

Second, I have bad habits.  I know this is shocking, but it’s true.  One of my bad habits is nail-biting.  That’s right, I clip my finger nails with my teeth.  To many, this habit is disgusting.  I’ve been chewing on my finger nails as long as I can remember.  To steal a line from Chicago, it’s a hard habit to break.

Part of stretching myself and making myself a better person is working to remove bad habits.  This even means conquering my nail-biting habit.

Do I think it’s possible?  I guess so, but I know it’s going to be extremely challenging.

As I thought about overcoming this habit, I started thinking about what it requires to overcome this kind of habit.  I have some ideas, but I would appreciate your feedback as to how I can overcome this bad habit.

5 Essentials For Breaking Bad Habits

1. Recognize the bad habit.  If you’re going to overcome a bad habit, you’ve got to realize you have a problem.  I’ve been biting my nails for so long, it happens without me realizing it.  The first step in overcoming this bad habit is to recognize the problem.
2. Commit to removing the bad habit.  You have to be serious about breaking the bad habit in order to address the problem.  I want to break this habit before the summer.  I’m going to do it!
3. Create a plan to remove the bad habit.  What can you do when you feel tempted to fall back into the poor pattern.  I’m still working on this plan for myself, but I make start wearing gloves more often or putting something nasty on my fingers to discourage this habit.    For me, my plan is intended to make sure I’m aware of the problem.
4. Find someone who will hold you accountable to overcoming the bad habit.  I’m going to ask my wife, my kids, and a close friend to hold me to this commitment to break this bad habit.  By writing about it here, I’m giving you permission to hold me accountable to breaking this bad habit.
5. Reward yourself along the way.  Start small.  Did I make it through one day without chewing my nails?  If so, let’s celebrate with a small reward – maybe a coffee at Starbucks.  As the time gets longer, use a larger reward.

Some have said it takes 21 days to break a bad habit.  I think it’s worth a try!

What is one bad habit you’d like to break?  What tips do you have for breaking bad habits?

10 Great Things To Do On A Snow Day

As I was getting my laptop out to write today’s blog post, we received a call from our school district indicating school would be closed tomorrow due to the snow storm blowing through our area yesterday and today.  The kids were jumping through the ceiling when they heard this news.  As I type this (at 8 PM Tuesday night), 9 inches of snow has fallen and it’s still coming.  The snow is supposed to end around 5 AM this morning.  We’ll see what the total is.

The snow day made me think about all the great things that come with a snow day.  I thought you might enjoy my ideas.

10 Great Things To Do On A Snow Day

1. Shovel.  Shovel.  Shovel.  This was the way I made money when I was a kid.  Where have all the entrepreneurial kids gone?  Seriously, there’s something satisfying about shoveling.  My back doesn’t always enjoy the heavier snows, but a light snow is good for the soul.
2. Read a good book.  There’s nothing like a good snow storm to slow us down enough to stop and read.  Right now, I’m reading Life After Art: What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room by Matt Appling.
3. Play a game.  When I arrived home from work late this afternoon, Leanne and the kids were in the middle of a game of Monopoly.  Hannah has become quite the tycoon.  People don’t play board games anymore.  Sometimes a snow storm is just what it takes to get you to return to the old game closet or game shelf.
4. Eat some comfort food.  Last night, Leanne had prepared a chicken and mushroom casserole.  I’m not sure what it was, but it just seemed like the right meal for a snow day.
5. Watch a good movie.  I haven’t watched a good movie at home lately.  This is the perfect time for a Netflix movie.  What movie would you recommend?
6. Listen to some good music.  Last night, I rummaged through my CD collection and found Marc Cohn‘s first album.  Nothing like Walking In Memphis to make you feel relaxed.
7. Help a neighbor.  I kind of alluded to it in the first one above.  Snow days are great for gathering the neighborhood for shoveling, building a snowman, or having a snowball fight.
8. Hot chocolate.  I can’t enjoy this one anymore unless I want a good migraine, but that doesn’t have to stop you from enjoying a mug of hot chocolate with some marshmallows a couple of drops of Kahlua.
9. Write a thank you note.  I know it’s not Thank You Thursday, but you could use the snow day to keep up with the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge.  Just a thought!
10. Rest!  Go ahead.  Take a nap.  Put your feet up.  Slow down for the day.  We rush around so much.  I snow day is a great time to take a break.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a snow day?  What else would you add to the list above?

2014 Goals

Over the past week or two, I have been working on goals for the new year.  I work well from a position of “To Do Lists” and targets, so it’s natural for me to create new goals heading into 2014.  I want to be intentional with how I live my life, and I believe a list of goals can be a huge part of being intentional.

Last night, I took time to write them down.  Actually, each member of our family wrote down at least 5 goals for the new year.  We shared them with each other as a way to make the goals real.  The kids wrote goals in these five areas:  spiritual, fitness, academic, financial, and interest.  It was pretty amazing to see their goals for 2014.  For example, Isaac wants to put $20 in the bank each month, and Hannah wants to qualify for PACs in the mile.

My list included spiritual goals, marriage goals, family goals, fitness goals, financial goals, work goals, academic goals, and writing goals.  I hope and plan to accomplish each of the things written down on this list; however, I’m not convinced this will happen.  And I’m okay with this.

At the bottom of my 2014 goal list, I wrote a verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I want my goals and plans to be God’s plans for me in 2014.  And this may mean some of my goals need to be refined, refocused, and possibly removed.  And so I start 2014 with this prayer:

God, Thank you for a fresh start today and every day.  I have many goals and ideas for the new year.  Each of these plans is nothing without you.  Ans so I give you my agenda.  Make my goals your goals and plans for me.  Where I am off base correct me.  Where I am right on encourage me.  Surround me with people who will keep me pointed at You, and use me in the lives of others to do the same.  May 2014 be a year of amazing blessing and stretching.  Amen.

Do you set goals or resolutions for the new year?  Why or why not?  What is one of your goals for 2014?

6 Ways To Rediscover Patience

This was the top post written in 2013 on The Stretched Blog (there are three posts written prior to 2013 which actually drove more traffic this year).  This post on patience was written back in early April of this year.  Reviewing this post provides some great reminders for me, and I hope you’ll find encouragement from this post as well.  I am still be stretched by the thoughts in this post.  Here goes….

I’m Losing My Patience – 6 Ways To Rediscover Patience

As a kid, I can remember a few times when my Dad’s fuse was shorter than normal.  Especially when he was tired and under a lot of stress, his patience would grow thin, and he would become frustrated and somewhat angry as my brothers and I would push the limits on what he could tolerate.

Overall, my Dad is a great father, and I’d honestly be honored and blessed if I could pick up half of his qualities.  He’s a leader.  He’s wise.  He’s extremely intelligent.  He’s caring.  I could go on.  But if I’m honest, I hoped I would miss out on his occasional short patience “quality.”

Well, I’m afraid that didn’t completely work out.  The other night, Leanne said to me, “I think you’re getting more impatient as you get older.”  Whoa!  First, she’s calling me impatient.  And then, she’s calling me older!  Maybe she’s right.  By the end of the night, my tolerance for horsing around diminishes, and I can often tell that I’m losing my patience.  It’s not a feeling I completely enjoy.  I don’t want to be grumpy or to be known as the “wet blanket” in the house, so I need to find a way to restore my patience levels.

Here are several ideas that come to mind for bringing patience back into my life.  Maybe, they’ll help you too!

6 Ways To Rediscover Patience

1. Recognize that patience comes from God.  According to Paul in Galatians, patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (or forbearance), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23
2. Pray for patience.  Many would consider this to be a dangerous prayer.  I’m not so sure.  If true patience comes from God, doesn’t it make sense that we should ask for it?  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Matthew 7:7-8
3. Learn the things that cause us to lose our patience.  Maybe it’s lack of sleep.  Maybe it’s financial stress.  Maybe it’s pressure at work.  It’s important to learn these causes, so we can come up with a plan to combat the problems.
4. Take counter measures.  If it’s lack of sleep – get more sleep.  If it’s stress – find ways to eliminate or alleviate the stress.  Running is a huge counter measure for me in the battle against stress.  When I get regular exercise, my patience tends to improve.
5. Get someone to watch your back.  Use a friend to keep your patience levels in check.  I’m thankful that my wife would call me on the carpet about my patience.  I need people in my life who build me up and who help me deal with some of my “demons”.
6. Ask for forgiveness.  On the rare occasion when my Dad would lose his patience, he would come back and apologize.  He would ask for forgiveness if he had somehow wronged on of us.  We’re not perfect.  Not one of us gets it right all the time.  We all make mistakes.  We will lose our patience.  Admitting failure can be a positive step in the healing process and in STRETCHING us towards the personal growth we need to pursue.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  Colossians 3:13

Do you struggle with patience?  What helps you when you lose your patience?  What thoughts can you add to the list above?

5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

As we wrap up the year, I’m taking some time to reflect on the top posts written this year.  Today’s post is great to review.  As the weather has turned colder again, I’ve been logging more mileage on the treadmill.  I hope today’s post will STRETCH you again.  (This post was originally posted in February 2013.)

When The Treadmill Stops Suddenly – 5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

I’ve been logging running mileage again, and it feels great.  Most of my miles these days are happening on the treadmill at the gym thanks to the cold weather and early morning darkness that blankets our area at this time of the year.

The other day, I was up early running a quick 4.5 miles at our local YMCA.  I had the treadmill ramped up to 7.8 miles per hour (which for me is a pretty decent pace).  While I’m on the treadmill, I listen to podcasts and glance up at the televisions to see the latest sports highlights and news updates.  About a mile into my run as I was lost in my own world, the treadmill suddenly stopped.

Imagine driving your car at 65 miles an hour and it suddenly stops completely.  Or imagine riding your bicycle at 15 miles an hour when someone jams a stick in your spokes.

This is how it felt when the treadmill stopped for me.  I somehow managed to catch myself before a complete catastrophe occurred.  The guy running next to me commented, “Wow!  Nice catch.”  I tried to get the treadmill back up and running, but it wouldn’t power up and restart.  I switched treadmills and continued my workout.

Sometimes life is like this.  We are coasting along when something happens in our lives that brings things to a screeching halt.  It’s happened in my life a few times – like the time I crashed my car two weeks before my wedding, like when my wife was rushed to the hospital shortly after our son was born, and like the moment I learned that my grandfather had passed away six years ago.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things through life events like these.

5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

1. Hang on.  Sometimes this is all we can do.  When we don’t understand, when we don’t know the plan, we can trust God and hang on to His hand.  I remember asking during these times, “Why?”  Even in the toughest moments, we must remember that He will never leave us.
   

   “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5

2. Trust God.  In times like this, I’ve gone back to Proverbs 3:5-6 as a promise that God will make my paths straight even when life doesn’t make sense.
   

   Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Lean into family and friends.  I can’t tell you how much family and friends have meant to our family when life’s train seems to have derailed.  It helps to know that someone is praying for me, is willing to talk or listen as I wrestle through the challenges of life, and is willing to be there when I can’t fully focus on my daily needs.  If you’re missing this in your own life, I’d encourage and challenge you to seek out this kind of friendship.  Our church small group experience has provided many of these types of friendships.
4. Consider a change.  Sometimes a life stopping experience can be the catalyst to positive change in our lives.  This week, I switched treadmills.  Maybe these experiences are a call to change direction.
   

   “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

5. Learn and grow.  Life halting experiences can be life altering experiences if we take time to learn and grow.  This is why I recommend a journal or even a blog as a way to record life’s happenings.  I have learned so much through the major speed bumps of life and the blog and my journal have become great places to record and process these experiences.

I returned to the gym this morning to run more on the treadmill.  I’m sure I was a bit more cautious, but I’m ready to keep going.  I’m thankful for the reminder that a simple treadmill experience can provide.  I have no idea what the rest of the day holds, but I look ahead with confidence knowing that it will be okay no matter what transpires.

What have you learned from a life stopping experience?  What other tips do you have for handling these kinds of times?

A Stream of Stretching Thoughts from a Full Brain

I ran into a friend last night at Hannah’s winter orchestra concert.  He asked me how the blog was going.  I explained it was a challenging month.  My traffic has generally been rising the past several months.  I’ve been very consistent in blogging daily during the week.  But this month has been a little different.  I’ve been extremely busy with work and family activities.  I set out on at the beginning of the month intent on writing an advent post every day between December 1st and December 25th in addition to my normal blogging.  I sometimes think I may have bitten off more than I could chew.  My intention is right, but my schedule is swamped with things that have to be a priority.

I’m excited for the holidays.  I’m hoping this will be an opportunity to recharge, refocus, and reclaim my schedule.  I intend to use the next two weeks to recast my vision for 2014.  I’m excited for what is coming my way.

I took the day off from work today, and it was great!  I was able to sleep in a little bit, get a nice long run in, and spend the morning with my wife.  This afternoon, I made chicken sausage and dealt with a couple of work related calls and e-mails.  I picked up my daughter from track practice.  And I’m enjoying a few minutes to myself this evening while Leanne makes cookies, Hannah works on homework, and Isaac practices ping-pong for our big match in a few minutes.  It’s been a good day!

Sometimes writing is a stream of thoughts flowing from a mind full and a calendar crowded.

Today, I simply want to remind you to be joyful and to be thankful.  Don’t forget to sign-up for the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge!  Click here for more details.

How was your day today?

The Expectation That Comes With Darkness, Silence, and Uncertainty

The Expectation That Comes With Darkness, Silence, and Uncertainty

Yesterday, I posted 5 Ways To Handle Darkness, Silence, and Uncertainty in Our Lives.  I hope you’ll go back and read this post.  It is one of my favorites.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of darkness, silence, and uncertainty lately.  I can’t say I like this feeling in general.  As I alluded to yesterday, it can feel so lonely and isolating when we are in this state of uncertainty.

We are not alone in this feeling of isolation.

At least two times in Biblical history, God seemed to disappear from the scene.  The first time came when the Israelites moved to Egypt to escape the famine.  If you remember, Jacob moved his entire family to Egypt to live with his son, Joseph, who had gone down to Egypt when his brothers sold him into slavery.  The Israelites (Jacob’s descendents) ended up living in Egypt for 400 years. I’m not a Biblical scholar, but there seems to be very little record of God speaking to His people during this period of time.  It wasn’t until God spoke to Moses through the burning bush that we begin to see God breaking the silence.  A short time later, he led his people out of Egypt and back to the Promised Land.

Fast forward several hundred years.  The Bible is full of stories and prophesies in the Old Testament which give a record of God’s voice and interaction with His people.  We hear from prophets like Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, and Daniel.  We see God speaking to King David and King Solomon.  There are many clear examples of God speaking.

But then it happened again.  God was quiet.  About 400 years before the time of Christ, there seems to be another period of silence.  The prophesies stop.  And the stories of God’s interaction come to a halt.  For 400 years, the people of Israel are in a place of darkness, silence, and uncertainty.

And then it happens!

God breaks through kind of like the Apollo 13 clip we saw yesterday.  He shines brightly through the darkness as He sends His Son to earth on a rescue mission like none other.  He speaks to His people like never before – through His one and only Son.  I think there was an expectation on the part of the Israelites.  They expected to see God.  They expected to hear God speak.  And they waited.

We are approaching a time of year when we celebrate Christmas.  This season means many things to many people.  It means family.  It means food.  It means presents.  It means traditions.  It means Christmas movies and Christmas carols.  It means holiday parties and ugly sweaters.

But there is something more.

Christmas is a time to remember God’s unmistakable voice breaking through the silence, darkness, and uncertainty.  Christmas represents God’s rescue mission for us – His people.  It represents the coming salvation for those who believe and put their trust in Him.

As we head into advent next week (the time before Christmas), I invite you to listen for God’s voice.  Watch for the ways God is breaking through the darkness and uncertainty in your own life.  And celebrate the new thing He is doing in you.

Maybe it seems like God hasn’t spoken to you for a very long time.  Maybe it seems like 400 years.  As we talked about yesterday, maybe we just need to stop, wait, and listen.

May God speak to you in new ways this holiday season!  May He provide an epiphany directly to you and to me.

How is God speaking to you these days?  What are you doing about it?