Ice Breaker – Saturday Morning

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Today’s question is inspired by the Michael Hyatt’s most recent podcast episode of This Is Your Life with Michael Hyatt.  The episode titled How to Lead Transformational Conversations provided 10 Practical Strategies for Greater Influence.

Question:  What does your ideal Saturday morning look like?

My Answer:  I like Saturday mornings, because it provides a break from my weekday routine.  My ideal Saturday morning looks like this.  I sleep in until 7 or 7:30AM.  I go for a seven or eight my run on the Perkiomen Trail.  When I come home from my run, I sit down and enjoy a slow-paced breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon, and decaf coffee (still can’t have caffeine).  After taking a shower, I work on a project around the house or in the yard.  This is what my ideal Saturday morning looks like.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

Forced To Slow Down And Stretch

I have a bulging disc in my lower back.  Most of the time it’s fine, but every once in a while it flares up.  For some reason, my back decided to flare up yesterday as I was getting up from my desk at work after sitting for a while.

Maybe I was sitting weird for too long, or maybe my back simply tightened up after my morning workout and cold shower.  Whatever the case, I will have to take a few days off from my more strenuous workouts to rest my back and to stretch it out.  Usually, I can get back into the swing of things in a few days.

I’ve been on a pretty good streak of working out this year.  Yesterday was the 84th day of the year, and I have managed to exercise 68 days so far.  This means I’ve worked out nearly 81% of the days this year.  If I keep this up, I’ll workout 295 days this year.

Sometimes our bodies are telling us to slow down.

The past week or so, I have been feeling particularly tired and worn out.  Perhaps, you’ve sensed this in my recent blog posts.

• Stretching requires us to stop long enough to give our bodies a break.  If we go too long at an unhealthy pace, we will wear ourselves out.  We have to stop long enough to give ourselves the opportunity to experience repair and restoration.
• Stretching helps us recover from the work we’ve done so far, and it prepares us for the work waiting in front of us.  It’s great to look back and see the fruits of our labor, and it’s great to look ahead with anticipation of working hard.  We must take time in the in-between times to recover from the past and dream about the future.
• Stretching takes time.  We live in a go-go-go society.  We must learn to slow down and take time to take care of ourselves.
• Stretching is worth it.  Stretching almost always produces better results in the end.  If we could simply remember the benefits of stretching, we would embrace it with open arms.

I’m not sure what you have been up to lately.  Maybe you are like me and you have kept a maddening pace this year.  And maybe you still have big hopes for what you hope to see and do during the rest of the year.  Don’t forget to slow down and stretch!

How are you stretching these days?  When was the last time your body told you to slow down?

5 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Spouse

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

George Bernard Shaw

Right?

Wrong.

The other night, we stopped by our local grocery store on the way home from our date night.  Leanne sent me into the store to get sunflower seeds and one or two other things.  It took me a little while to locate the seeds, but I succeeded once I asked a store employee to help me out.  I paid, and I came back to the car proudly carrying the selected items.  I put the bigger items in my trunk, and I brought a small back with the sunflower seeds in with me to hand to Leanne.

She took one look at my purchase and proclaimed, “These aren’t the sunflower seeds I was looking for.”

For some reason, I thought she was looking for actual seeds that you plant in the ground.  I had the impression that she needed them for her preschool classroom.  Being the diligent husband, I gladly found them in the store.  What I failed to realize was that Leanne wanted shelled sunflower seeds to use on a salad she was planning to make for guests we were scheduled to have in our home the next evening.

I walked back in the store and found the correct sunflower seeds.

Communication is essential to having a marriage that goes the distance.

Sometimes we get our signals crossed.  Here are a few tips to making sure you communicate well with others:

5 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Spouse

1. Make sure you are listening to each other.  My hearing isn’t as great as it used to be.  This means I have to be in the same room with my wife.  It means I have to shut off the other noise.  And it means I have to focus on what my wife is saying.  Being face to face is the best way to make sure you are listening.
2. Clarify the information exchanged.  Sometimes we don’t hear correctly or we misinterpret each other.  The best way to avoid this problem is to ask clarifying questions and to restate the information shared.  “You want me to get sunflower seeds for the salad?  Okay!”
3. Take notes if necessary.  I forget things.  The best way to avoid forgetfulness is to write things down.  This is one of the reasons I take a grocery list into the store with me.  It helps me remember everything I need, and it demonstrates successful communication and follow-through to my wife.
4. Apologize when you mess up.  It’s natural to get it wrong from time to time.  When this happens apologize.  Then move to step five.
5. Correct any mistake you made.  For me, I had to run back into the grocery store.  Failure to correct our mistakes only undermines future efforts to communicate with each other.

What tips to you have for communicating well with your spouse (or with others)?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

Sign up for the 7 Week Stretch Challenge below!

Take Time To Avoid Derailing From The Right Track

We are nearly one-quarter of the way through the year.

Did you set goals at the beginning of the year?

Are you still on target to meet your goals?  Or have you begun to fall off the tracks?

If you are like most people, your goals are most likely in jeopardy of falling by the wayside if you don’t do something now to refocus.

I can say this, because I feel this way about my goals right now.  I started off with the best of intentions, and I’ve been able to stay on track for the most part with what I started out to accomplish this year.  However, I can feel the pressure of work and family demands.  My energy level is starting to dwindle as I cope with longer hours at work and busy evenings.

I want to stay on track, but there is also a rising tendency to just let things go.

It can become easy to let yourself get distracted at times like this.  I’m facing this even as I prepare today’s post.

There are times when it may be a good thing to let go of some of your man-made goals, but I also believe that many of the targets we set at the beginning of the year are still worth pursuing.

We must fight to stay on track!

We must regain the excitement of going after the goals we set in late December or early January.  This applies to our fitness targets, our financial targets, our family targets, and our faith targets.

Take time today to review your 2015 goals.  What needs to go?  And what is worth keeping?  Now get back on track and keep your eyes focused on the prize ahead.

If you are looking for encouragement on your journey to stay on track, check out my book, On Track: Life Lessons from the Track & Field.  The book is available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle.

In regards to your 2015 goals, how are you doing?  What step can you take today to get back on track?

7 Ways To Live An Inspired Life

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about my writing.

I typically write my posts the night before it actually goes live.  I often ponder the post throughout the day, and I sit down and write out the thoughts sometime between 8 and 10 PM.  When I’m happy with the post, I schedule it to go “live” at 5 AM the next day.

After a busy weekend, I did that last night after I came home from youth group shortly after 9 PM.  When I arrived home, I honestly didn’t have any thoughts about what my post for today.  Honestly, I felt very uninspired.  I sat down at the computer and pulled together a less than stellar post, and I headed up to bed.  I was weary, and I was a little disappointed I hadn’t put more thought into my post earlier in the day.

As I woke up this morning, I started thinking a little more about inspiration.  We all need inspiration in our lives, but too often we live uninspired lives.  Why?

• Lack of inspiration happens when we are too tired.  As a result, we lack the energy to put thought into our days.
• Lack of inspiration happens when we are too busy.  As a result, we lack the time to soak in what is going on around us.
• Lack of inspiration happens when we aren’t intentional with how we mentally feed ourselves.  As a result, we fail to fill our minds with good things – things that inspire us in a good way.
• Lack of inspiration happens when we hang out with people who drag us down.

How do we combat this problem?  Deep down inside, we all want to live inspired lives not just to have a blog post idea for the next day.  We want to live inspired lives to help us live lives that have meaning and matter.  Today, instead of the uninspired post I wrote last night, I want to leave you with seven ways you can live an inspired life.

7 Ways To Live An Inspired Life

1. Journal daily.  This may take some practice, but it’s an excellent discipline for capturing thoughts on your day.  When you develop the habit of writing a daily journal, you will naturally see the sources of inspiration rising up around you.
2. Get sleep and exercise.  You can’t expect to live an inspired life when you are running on fumes.  Make sure you get ample sleep and add regular exercise, and you will begin to see inspirational things around you more often.
3. Intentionally fill your mind with good things.  Read God’s Word.  Listen to podcasts.  Read books.  Listen to music.  When you intentionally fill your mind with good things, you will be inspired to live your life differently.
4. Get outside.  Staying locked up inside your office or home prevents you from getting fresh air and prevents you from seeing the rest of the world outside your “box.”  Getting outside even for short periods of time will lead to more inspiration.
5. Learn to say “No.”  The only way you will open up time in your busy schedule for times of inspiration is by saying “No” to some of the things that are clogging your schedule.
6. Turn off the television.  I don’t know what the statistics are, but I’m pretty sure too many Americans watch too much television.  A little television is okay, but we should learn to limit this time.  By limiting our television time, we will have more opportunity for actually living an inspired life.
7. Hang out with people who lift you up.  I hang out with a group of guys once a week who regularly inspire and lift me up.  I hang out with a group of families twice a month who force me to get out of my comfort zone.  By hanging out with people like this, you will naturally begin to look at life more positively, and you will find yourself living an inspired life.

How have you been inspired lately?  What helps you live an inspired life? 

Ice Breaker – March Madness

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  Did you fill out an NCAA Tournament bracket?  Who do you think will win in all this year?  (Who do you have in the Final Four?)

My Answer:  I always fill out an NCAA Tournament bracket.  For one, I love college basketball.  And March Madness is a great time to connect with co-workers and friends.  This year, I have Kentucky winning it all, and my Final Four includes Virginia, Gonzaga, and Wisconsin.  I’d love to see Villanova go far as they are the local team still in the tournament.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

Pondering The Brevity Of Life

There is an audio version below.

Teach Us To Number Our Days

This is a post I wrote just four weeks ago upon learning that a college classmate of mine had been placed on hospice.  I received word Tuesday afternoon that she passed away.  She was young (at least by my standards).  From what I can tell, she lived her life to the fullest, and she lived her life with the intention of glorifying God even in these last four weeks.

I am reminded through this news of the brevity of life.

When we are young, we think we will live forever.  We feel invincible.  As we approach mid-life (where I am now), we begin to realize life moves pretty quickly.  In talking to those twice my age, it doesn’t sound like life slows down at all as we get older.  It just keeps going faster and faster.

I’m reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption, of the choice we have.  We must choose to “get busy living or get busy dying.”  We all have a birth date, and we are all headed to a death date.  I don’t fear my death date, but I do want to make the most of the time in between these two milestones.  Some people refer to this as the dash.  How will you live your dash?

This is a question we should all ponder today.

Let’s all decide today to make the most of our time here on the earth.  Let’s do what really matters.  Let’s honor God and bring glory to his name by how we live our lives.

Here’s the link to my original post – Teach Us To Number Our Days.

I would encourage you to head over to Kristie Rush’s blog to read how she processed her final days in this life.  I think you’ll be challenged and inspired.

What are you going to do TODAY to make the most of your time?  Share in the comments.

5 Ways To Represent Well

There is an audio version below.

I was always going to church with my mom, dad and sister. I was literally raised under the godly influence both at home and church. There was no alcohol and no smoking at our house. That was the way a Bowden was supposed to live. My dad always told me to represent the Bowden name in a respectful manner.

Our office received a phone call yesterday from an upset woman.  She was calling to complain about the behavior of one of our employees who was driving one of our company vans.  She wrote down the phone number and van number, and she called in to voice her complaint.

When I received the news, I naturally called my employee to get his side of the story.  After listening to his story, I spoke with him about the importance of representing our company well.  After all, he was driving around in a mobile billboard – a van with our company’s logo plastered in huge letters across the side of his van.

We all are representing something or someone.

I represent the company I work for.  Sometimes people see this on the logo stitched on my coat.  Sometimes they see it as a result of seeing my business card.

I represent my college.  My co-workers know where I went to college, and I want to make sure I am doing my best to represent my school well.

I represent my family and my family name.  I want the Stolpe family name to stand for something good – to represent care, concern, and action.  Whenever I take action (or fail to take action) people are forming their opinion about me and my family.

And finally, I represent my faith.  My prayer every morning is this:  “Lord, help me to represent you well today.”  People will form their opinion about my faith, my God and my Savior based on my words and my actions.  Therefore, it is important for me to speak and act well.

Paul had this to say to the people of Colossi:

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.  Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

To help us out in making this a reality in our lives, here are five ways to represent well:

5 Ways To Represent Well

1. Always be thinking of those you represent.  This may take some practice and a lot of discipline.  If you keep this at the forefront of your mind, you will be less likely to say or do something you regret, and you will be more likely to represent well.
2. Ask a few people to keep you in check.  It helps to have people in your life who know the real you.  These are people who can call you out when you say or do something dumb.  They can keep you accountable to keeping your motives pure.  Knowing I have people in my life who will ask me how I’m doing helps me represent well.
3. Look in the mirror.  It’s important to self regulate and self evaluate yourself.  You have to be honest with yourself.  Are your actions, words, and motives pure?  You know the truth.  By looking in the mirror, you will do a better job representing well.
4. Ask yourself if your Grandma would approve of your words and actions.  What would your Grandma say about your words and your actions?  This may cause you to err on the side of caution, but it will help you represent yourself and others well.
5. Apologize when necessary.  We all mess up.  The best way to represent when we mess up is to apologize – to come clean and to admit our failings.  Believe it or not, an apology goes a long way to representing well.

Our actions and words have consequences.  At the office today, I will have to deal with the phone call our office received yesterday.  I know my team member will think differently before he acts in the future, and I think I learned a thing or two through this experience as well.

Represent well!

Who and what are you representing?  How do you represent well?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

10 Benefits Of Taking Cold Showers

There is an audio version below.

There’s nothing quite like a nice, warm shower.

Am I right?

A hot shower relaxes you at the end of a busy day and warms you up on a cool morning.

Have you ever thought of the benefits of taking cold showers instead?

I really hadn’t considered this until I listened to an interview with Nick Loper on the latest episode of the Beyond The To Do List Podcast with Erik J. Fisher.  In the interview, Nick talks about his recent lengthy streak of taking cold showers.  He says cold showers have done wonders to wake him up and speed up his metabolism.

People often attribute cold showers to those who need to settle down (especially sexually).  Maybe this is true, but Erik Fisher’s interview with Nick Loper made me think about some of the possible benefits of a cold shower besides the obvious.  Here’s my list of benefits:

10 Benefits Of Taking Cold Showers

1. Cold showers wake you up and help you be more productive throughout the day.  As Nick Loper shared in the interview, a cold shower will get you going unlike a hot shower.
2. Cold showers boost your metabolism.  If you are looking for a way to burn more calories without doing a lot of work, you should consider taking cold showers.  By taking a cold shower, your body naturally has to do more work to keep itself warm.  This work means more calories burned even while you are sitting still.  A cold shower may help you drop a few pounds or it may give you a bit more margin for that afternoon snack you are always craving.
3. Cold showers reduce your water bill.  You are less likely to stand under a cold shower for a long time.  As a result, you won’t run your water as long and you will save money on your water bill.  My teenage daughter is notorious for taking long showers, and I’ve noticed my water bills climbing the past year or so.  I bet I could shorten her showers by shutting off the hot water during her showers.
4. Cold showers reduce your heating bill.  This goes hand in hand with benefit number three above.  When you don’t need hot water, you don’t need propane, gas, or electric required to heat the water.  Imagine the savings!
5. Cold showers reduce the need to wipe the steam off your mirror.  Doesn’t it get frustrating when the mirrors are all cloudy after you take a long, hot shower.  The easiest way to avoid this problem is by taking cold showers.  A cold shower guarantees you won’t have steam on your mirrors.
6. Cold showers save time.  It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re taking a hot shower.  This isn’t the case when you take a cold shower.  You will most likely take a faster shower which will free you up for other things in your day.
7. Cold showers prepare you for the mission field.  When you are in the mission field, your ability to take a hot shower is often very limited.  I wrote about this in an earlier post.
8. Cold showers prepare you for emergency situations.  Last year, we lost power at our house for 84 hours when Super Storm Sandy blew through our area.  This meant our hot water heater was off for an extended period of time.  The hot water didn’t work, but the shower still worked.  In order to get ready for work, I still needed to clean off with a shower.  I would have been better equipped for this situation if I had practiced with cold showers before the emergency even happened.
9. Cold showers cause you to be grateful.  We take for granted all the luxuries we experience here in the United States.  Cold showers have taught me to be thankful for the many blessings I have like a warm house, a soft bed, a refrigerator and pantry full of food, and clean water.
10. Cold showers actually cool you off after a workout.  Go running or biking.  Do something to start sweating.  After a hard workout, a hot shower doesn’t help you cool down.  I have actually come out of a shower still sweating.  This doesn’t happen thought when I take a cold shower.

Do you take hot showers or cold showers?  What are the benefits you see to each?  Share your answer in the comments.

6 Ways To Help Orphans

There is an audio version below.

If only 7 percent of the 2 billion Christians in the world would care for a single orphan in distress, there would effectively be no more orphans. If everybody would be willing to simply do something to care for one of these precious treasures, I think we would be amazed by just how much we could change the world.

Stephen Curtis Chapman

I’m reading through the Bible this year as part of my morning quiet time.  I don’t say this as a pronouncement of having it all together.  In fact, the contrary is probably true.  I need to spend regular time in God’s Word, because I am messed up and broken.  The Bible helps me find healing, hope, and encouragement for the daily ups and downs I face in my life.

I’m using the Daily Audio Bible Podcast with Brian Hardin as a guide to walk me along this journey this year.  Each day, Brian shares a passage from the Old Testament, a passage from the New Testament, a passage from the book of Psalm, and a couple of verses from the book of Proverbs.

I’ve read through the Bible a few times before.  I feel like I know it fairly well, but I am struck each morning by how much I really don’t know.  A theme that keeps coming back to me over and over again this year relates to the poor, the widows, and the orphans.  Throughout the Bible, God speaks about orphans, widows, and the poor.  He instructs us to look after the poor and the widows.  And He doesn’t just say it once or twice.  He says it again and again and again.

Here are a just a few of the passages that have struck me so far this year:

• Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless.  Exodus 22:22
• He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.  Deuteronomy 10:18
• Do not deprive the foreigner or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge.  Deuteronomy 24:17
• I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  John 14:18
• Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27
• But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.  Psalm 10:14
• A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.  Psalm 68:5
• Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.  Psalm 82:3

When things are repeated, it is for emphasis, so the multiple mentions throughout the Bible should serve as a reminder – a wake-up call – to the readers that God wants us to pay attention and to take action for the cause of orphans, widows, and the poor.

Yesterday morning, I had the privilege of being in worship at our church as the Jordan Howerton Band led our congregation in worship.  They were leading a song I have sung before, but the words hit me a little differently this time.  The song is Phil Wickham’s This Is Amazing Grace, and the second verse starts like this:

Who brings our chaos back into order
Who makes the orphan a son and daughter
The King of Glory, the King of Glory

Did you catch that?

God, the King of Glory, makes the orphan a son and daughter.

This simple phrase in the middle of this song spoke to me and reverberated against the words I’ve been reading in the Bible this year.  God cares for the orphans.  And if God cares for the “least of these” then so should you and I.

How does one help orphans?

This is a great question.  In America, it can be hard to initially identify with the cause of the orphans.  After all, we are wealthy.  We have it all together.

Before we can answer this question, it might be helpful to understand what it means to be an orphan.  In Guatemala, a child is considered an orphan if his or her father is no longer in the picture.  The dad may have died, but he may have simply skipped town leaving his wife a widow and his children orphans.

When you look at it this way, you may actually see that we have more orphans in our midst than we had initially thought.  The children being raised by a single parent here in the United States would actually be considered orphans in Guatemala.  They may not need an orphanage, but they need to know the presence of a loving father in their lives.

So how does one help the orphan?

Here are 6 ways for you to help orphans:

1. PRAY.  Don’t underestimate the power of prayer for the cause of the orphan.  Pray God would protect and provide for the orphans of the world.  Pray your heart and mind would be opened to helping orphans.
2. GIVE.  Orphans often are overlooked when it comes to basic necessities like food, clothing, and shelter.  There are many organizations that take monetary donations and turn them into practical provision for orphans.  Research organizations to determine where your money will be best spent for the cause of the orphan.  Our family donates to Compassion International and CMF International.  GO! Ministries, who we serve with in Guatemala, is directly serving orphans and widows in the village of Xenacoj.  A donation to GO! Ministries would go far to help orphans.
3. RESEARCH.  Take time to understand the cause of the orphan.  Don’t take my word for it.  Find out for yourself.  How many orphans are in the world?  What happens to the typical orphan?  What is being done to help orphans?  You have the ability to jump in and learn more about orphans.
4. ADOPT.  This could mean physically bringing an orphaned child into your home, or it could be adopting a child through child sponsorship.  You can establish a long-term relationship with an orphan that will not only provide for physical needs but will also provide for spiritual needs.
5. SPEAK UP.  What will you do with the knowledge you have?  Will you hold it inside or will you speak up and defend the cause of the orphan?  Orphans and widows often do not have a voice, but you do.  You can use it to make a difference.
6. GO.  Get involved with orphans by serving at a boys and girls club in your area, by going to an orphanage, or by injecting yourself into the flow of a community where absent fathers are common.  I like building things in Guatemala.  It’s satisfying to build houses, stoves, and other things, but it’s even better to build relationships with the orphans and widows in Santo Domingo Xenacoj.

If you look at the breadth of this issue, it could be easy to become overwhelmed and discouraged.  By taking one step at a time, we can all help to make a difference for a cause that matters – a cause that matters to God – the cause of the fatherless.

How are you helping orphans?  What other ways can we add to the list above?