Category Archives for "Uncategorized"

Book Review: Creating Community (@AndyStanley and @BillWillits)

For those of you who have been around for a while, you may know that I have a passion for small groups and for seeing people connected and growing in community. I’ve been to three or four groups conferences over the past decade. I’ve been plugged into a group of one kind or another for the last fifteen years. And I grew up in a house where small groups were modeled as a way to connect people to each other and to encourage people to grow in their relationship with God. I’ve written more than a couple posts about small groups over the past six years. In fact, one post is among the top viewed posts of all time: Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know.

For a while I was helping to lead in the small group ministry for our church, but I took a break for a few years due to other commitments and some other circumstances. Recently, a friend reached out to me and began to rekindle my passion for group ministry leadership. As part of our conversation, he passed along a book by Andy Stanley and Bill Willits about building a small group culture.

Creating Community: Five Keys to Building a Small Group Culture was written to explain the success that North Point Church has had using small group ministry as the center of their strategy for helping people grow in their relationship with God. Creating Community was also written to help churches and church leaders to develop a course of action that could be vital in achieving the mission of the church. Stanley and Willits share about the importance of moving church goers from the foyer to the living room to the kitchen. They share some of their own experiences of what worked and what didn’t work along the way. If followed closely, I believe their method for creating community will not only catapult groups ministry to a whole new level but it will propel local churches in their pursuit of living out the Great Commission and expanding the Kingdom.

Creating Community is a quick read. And I would recommend it to anyone who is passionate about small groups, the local church, and connecting people in community. Stanley and Willits are not simply trying to create another program at your church. They are presenting a mind shift for how you do church in general. North Point, where Stanley is the lead pastor, has grown by leaps and bounds and is having a tremendous impact on the Atlanta, Georgia area. North Point’s small group culture is a huge part of this growth and impact.

Check out Creating Community by clicking the link below!

Are you in a small group? How has community impacted your life? What are you doing to invite others into community?

Ice Breaker – Favorite High School Music Group

Image by VerseVend (via Flickr – Creative Commons)

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

Question: What was your favorite music group when you were in high school?

My Answer: I’m sure I had several favorite music groups at that time in my life. My favorite was U2. The Joshua Tree came out while I was in high school, and I remember several of my classmates going to the Joshua Tree Concert when it came through our area. Sunday Bloody Sunday, 40, Where The Streets Have No Name, and Pride are just a few of the songs that were in my regular playlist back in the late 80s.

Here are a few music groups that would make my honorable mention list: DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince, REM, and Billy Joel (not a group, but still makes my list).

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the weekly Stretched newsletter. Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Denny

A few weeks ago, I learned that someone my age passed away. Seventeen and a half years ago, we had worked together for our former employer. We both put in long hours. We learned a lot through the experience. I left the company when the company went through some traumatic events and changes right before I got married. And he stuck it out as the company emerged like a phoenix from the ashes. I learned yesterday that he stayed at the company for a total of twenty years before jumping over to my company. He spent his last two years working in a different office and department, so I had no idea. It would have been nice to reconnect after so many years.

I’m not sure how or why he died. After doing some investigation, I learned that he did have a young son. It doesn’t appear that he was married. There are so many things I’d like to know.

Life has a funny way of reminding us that life is fleeting and relationships matter. At the age of 41, it seems unfair that he would depart from the world leaving his son without a father. But I guess I’m reminded that life is short. We’re not guaranteed an extra year, an extra day, an extra minute. His passing is a reminder to make the most of my life. His passing also reminds me that relationships matter. We lost touch as soon as I left the company. Life can be like that. People come and go from our lives. In some regards that is natural. But his passing reminded me that each and every relationship matters. I don’t want to take my relationships for granted. I pray that my interactions today would be intentional – that I would live and respond as if its urgent.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever. Isaiah 40:8

God, thanks for Denny. Comfort his family. Help me to be intentional with my life and my relationships. Thank you for today.

What is one thing you can do today to be intentional with your life and relationships?

July 2013 – Top Posts and Commenters

Here are the highlights from July 2013. Thanks to everyone who read along and commented. Your readership and participation in the daily discussions are what make The Stretched Community. Thank you! Overall, traffic was up from June (11.7%), and it was the best traffic in the six months since I stopped posting on Saturdays and Sundays. Traffic was up 46.5% compared to a year ago. The top 10 posts included two guest posts. If you missed any of these posts, I hope you’ll go and check them out now by clicking below. The post with the most engagement was Book Review: At The Crossing Of Justice And Mercy by Dan Erickson posted on July 16, 2013.

Top 10 Commenters:

- David Paul Stolpe (27)
- Steve Y (22)
- Larry Carter (16)
- Carol Peterson (12)
- Dan Erickson (12)
- David (12)
- TNeal (9)
- Catherine Daugherty (7)
- Dan Black (7)
- Joe Lalonde (6)

As promised at the beginning of the month, I have randomly chosen someone from the top 10 commenters to receive a copy of Kingdom Journeys: Rediscovering the Lost Spiritual Discipline by Seth Barnes. Your chances of winning increased the more you commented and the higher you were on the list. This winner of this book is…(drum roll)…Steve Y. Congrats to Steve!

For the month of August, I’ll be giving away a copy of The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing [A Spiritual Memoir] by Jeff Goins. This month, the winner will be chosen randomly from those who are signed up for The Stretched Newsletter. To find out more about how you can get the newsletter, click here.

Thanks to each and everyone for reading and for commenting. I’m looking forward to August with The Stretched Community! The month of August will include a few guest bloggers to help fill in the gap while I’m in Guatemala. August should be a fun month!

How was your month? If you’re a blogger share a link to your top post in the comments? What was your favorite Stretched post this month? How were you STRETCHED in July?

In case you’re interested, here are a few other interesting stats about July (based on Google Analytics):

Visits – Increased 15.31%
Unique Visitors – Increased 9.68%
Pageviews – Increased 19.70%
Pages Per Visit – Increased 4.00%
Average Visit Duration – Increased 2.94%
Bounce Rate – Decreased 4.75%
New Visits – Decreased 3.78%

Lessons From The Weed-Whacking Incident

Friday night, I decided that it was a good time to get the weed-whacker out of the shed. I like cutting the grass and working in the yard, but there’s one thing that I don’t like about yard work. I can’t stand weed-whacking! With my kids growing up and becoming more responsible, they have taken over the bulk of the lawn mowing job. For some reason though, the weed-whacking is almost always left for me.

Everyone knows that it’s important to wear long pants, gloves, and eye protection when operating the weed-whacker. Right? You’d think I would have learned by now. For some reason, I did not put safety glasses on when I started weed-whacking. I did a great job avoiding the flying debris that was kicked up by the rapidly rotating trim line. I was making great progress when I ventured over to a small “flower bed” that is home to three forsythia bushes. As I was weed-whacking around the bushes, I suddenly poked myself in the eye with one of branches from a forsythia bush. It was so quick and painful. I was convinced I had done major damage to my eye.

I gently turned the weed-whacker off and put it down. After standing around in hopes that it would feel better after a few minutes, I decided I should try to make my way into the house to clean out my eye. I washed it out over and over again, but it still felt awful. I could see, but my vision was pretty blurry. What was I thinking? Needless to say, I was frustrated by my lack of precaution, and I was concerned that I may have caused permanent damage to my eyesight.

Saturday morning, my vision was still blurry and my eye was still pretty sore. As the day progressed, my vision and my eye seemed to be getting better. Sunday was much better, and I’m happy to say that I’m okay now a few days later.

My Friday night run in with the forsythia bush reminded me of the need for safety, and it also got me thinking about a verse from the book of Matthew:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

You see, I’m the one who usually gives my kids (and others) advice on being safe. And in the rest of life, I’m quick to judge others for the faults and failings. We live in a world today where so many people are quick to blame others and to point out the problems that others have.

Perhaps, we owe ourselves and others a better response. Here are a couple of ideas:

We need to look in the mirror. Before we start playing the blame game, we need to deal with our own failings. I’m not talking about beating ourselves up. I’m simply suggesting we tackle our own issues before we go pointing out the errors of others.
Respond with love. Instead of being judgmental, let’s find ways to be helpful. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul reminds us that “love keeps no record of wrongs.” Instead, it hopes and endures.
Look to Christ. I know it’s cliche to say, “What would Jesus do?”, but this gets back to my previous point. When we follow Christ, we treat others in the way we wish to be treated. We sacrifice our own interests for the interests of others. Plus, I think He’ll help us deal with our own failings.

I’m thankful for the lessons from my weed-whacking incident. And you can bet that I’ll be wearing safety glasses the next time around.

What lessons have you learned from working around your house?

Visiting Church on Vacation – 5 Reasons To Visit A Different Church This Summer

We were gone for two Sundays while we were away on vacation which meant we missed church at our home church two weeks in a row. It would have been easy to skip church all together and simply enjoy the time to relax. But we didn’t exactly do this.

The first Sunday we were away, we visited my brother’s church, Milwaukee Mennonite Church, in Wisconsin. The church meets at 4 PM on Sunday afternoons in the building of a local Lutheran church. It’s a small family oriented congregation where we felt very welcome. It was definitely a different experience than we are used to at our church, but the change was okay. It was exciting to see how God was working in this community of believers. The singing part of worship included a couple of songs in a capella followed by a couple with piano accompaniment. They do not have a paid pastor, so the preaching duty is shared by the congregation. Following the sermon, there is a time of open reflection by those in a church. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but it was interesting especially once I understood what was going on. Leanne and I both commented that it felt like a small group.

The second weekend we were away, we actually went to church on Saturday night at Charter Oak Church (where we were married 17 years earlier). This is a growing United Methodist congregation which is clearly trying to find ways to reach the community. The singing part of worship featured several guitars, a drummer, a keyboard, and a few lead vocalists. It was so cool to witness a couple of baptisms while we were there. There was a watering trough on the stage filled with water on the stage or platform. The pastor knelt beside the trough while those being baptized took turns getting into the tank to be immersed by the pastor. I really enjoyed the sermon at this church which was themed based on the popular NBC TV show, The Voice. The sermon started with a Francis Chan video clip that I’ve included in past blog posts. I really appreciated the way the pastor used the YouVersion Live feature to go along with his sermon. I was able to take notes and look up Bible passages from my iPhone. We received a friendly reception at this church as well.

Visiting other churches can be a very healthy experience while you are on vacation. Here are five reasons for visiting churches while on vacation:

Observing church differences helps us to understand where other people are coming from. Churches are different. While we worship the same God, there are different styles.
Churches have different creative ideas that could be the catalyst for change in your own church. It can be very refreshing and encouraging to experience worship by other bodies of believers. It provides new ideas that will stretch you.
Sometimes you need to take a break from your normal church. I wouldn’t recommend this for an extended period of time. But visiting other churches can give you a break and a recharge especially if you are heavily involved with volunteering, serving, or leading in your own church.
It’s healthy to bond with other believers. There is so much that divides the church today. There are so many different doctrines, theologies, and ideas that simply tear the greater church body apart. Visiting other churches helps to bridge the divide that can be so divisive. (Obviously, I think that theology is important, but we need to be cautious in how we let it divide the church. To the outside world, we must look like a bunch of messed up hypocrites who don’t have any unity.)
Visiting other churches helps you appreciate your own church. Let’s face it; we all get our level of comfort. There’s no place like home (or our home church). Upon our return home, our daughter couldn’t wait to get home so she could make it to youth group at our church.

I don’t know what your vacation plans are this summer. Maybe your sticking at home or maybe you’re traveling to far away lands. I’d encourage you to take the opportunity to visit a different church this summer. When you do this, let me know how it went.

Do you visit other churches when you travel? Tell us about your last experience at a different church. Why do you think it is (or isn’t) a good idea to visit other churches from time to time?

How To Respond When You Are Stretched To The Limit (Zak Schmoll)

Today, I present guest blogger and extraordinary young man, Zak Schmoll. Zak is blogging his way through the Bible one chapter at a time, and he offered to share his stretch thoughts while I’m on vacation this week. For more about Zak, check out his bio at the end of the post. In the meantime, enjoy!

How To Respond When You Are Stretched To The Limit

Image by Hulagway (via Flickr)

I think that Jon’s blog title pretty much sums up the life of one of my favorite biblical characters, and that is why I decided to send this guest post into him.

Job was certainly a man who was stretched to the limit.

Of course, most of us know the story. He was a wealthy man with a great family. He was very successful by the standards of the world, and he was a man who followed after God.

You might say, “It was pretty easy for him to follow God. After all, look at how good he had it. It is easy to follow God when life is going good.” In fact, that is pretty much what Satan said in Job 1:9-10.

God obviously was not intimidated or worried. He told Satan that he could do whatever he wanted to Job besides killing him. It doesn’t seem like it took Satan very long to start trying to knock away all of the things that he thought made Job want to follow God. His land was overrun, his children died and his entire source of income (his crops) went away. His wife thought he was pretty much crazy, and he was virtually left all alone outside of his friends who didn’t think any more of him than his wife did.

I would say he was pretty much stretched to his limits.

However, there are a few important things to remember in this situation. I think these points can apply when we feel like we are being pushed to the limit as well.

God was always right there. In the beginning of the book, we know that God allowed this to happen. It is hard to understand why, and I cannot say that I have a perfect answer. However, I can say that Job was not abandoned. In fact, an interesting proof of this comes from the fact that God told Satan that he was not allowed to kill Job. The final verse of the book has Job dying long after that period of tribulation ended. It all happened in God’s time. He truly held his life in His hands. God never stopped caring or watching the situation even if we don’t understand His actions or lack thereof.
Job understood what was important. He did not sin in this entire process according to Job 1:22. It doesn’t mean that he did not question God, and it certainly does not mean that he was not upset over the loss of everything. He never lost perspective on the fact that God was ultimately in control. In Job 1:21 he came out and said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away.” This is a point that people like to slam Christianity on. They always say how it is impossible for a loving God to allow terrible things that happen. Job may not have understood what God was doing, and we might not understand why he allowed all of these problems, but what we do know is that God is good. Job also knew that. That is important.
Finally, we know that Job’s friends spent most of the book trying to question him. Like the people I mentioned in the previous point, they didn’t understand what God was doing. Job was not pressured by his friends though. He remained faithful, and he persevered. This is why we hear about Job all the way in the book of James. We remember him for his perseverance, and that is a trait that we all need to develop at some point.

Job was a man who was stretched to the limit. He had everything taken away from him, and he was pretty much scorned by his friends. He could have easily given up and denied the existence of God. After all, if there was truly a powerful God, why on earth was he allowing all this stuff to happen?

However, he persevered, and I believe that he is one of the best models of how to live for God in tough times. We might question, and we might ask God why. However, I think that we can learn a lot about living like Job when we are pushed to the edge.

Question to ponder:

Why does God allow hard times to come into our lives?

Biography:

Zak Schmoll just graduated from the University of Vermont with a double major in Accounting and Statistics. On July 23, 2012, he went on a mission to write about one chapter of the Bible every day from start to finish. You can follow his progress at http://achapterperday.wordpress.com/.

The Impact You May Never Know (Matt McWilliams)

Today, I’m honored to present Matt McWilliams. Matt writes an incredible blog about leadership and life. And he has become a great friend, and he is a revolutionary. He started the Thank You Revolution that has helped many leaders and businesses including mine. I’m humbled and privileged to share Matt’s words today. For more information about Matt, check out his bio at the end of the post – then head over to his blog for more great encouragement.

The Impact You may Never Know

It’s time I came clean.

I’ve been keeping a secret from Jon Stolpe for way too long.

He is the reason I started a movement. He is the reason I started the Thank You Revolution.

Not the hundreds of thank you notes I’ve written over the years. Not the hundreds of responses I got. Not the even the prospect of turning it into a money-making venture.

None of those led me to start a movement.

But Jon did.

Last December, he wrote a guest post on my blog about the impact that a single idea had on him. Go ahead and read his post. I’ll wait while you do.

When I first wrote about thank you notes, I did not intend to start anything official. I had no delusions that hundreds of people would subscribe to a weekly newsletter about thank you notes. No idea that I would write a book or get the opportunity to speak publicly, do podcasts, or write elsewhere about something I am so passionate about.

Until he wrote that guest post.

Jon’s post inspired me. It made me realize how big this idea was. And I wanted to make it bigger.

That’s the impact we have on others when we share the impact they have on us.

It starts a cycle.

Here’s how it looks:

Image source: http://www.mattmcwilliams.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/inspiration-cycle.jpg

Imagine thousands or even millions of circles forming all over the world simply because one person shared the impact that another had on him or her.

That is the power of letting others know that we appreciate their work and the positive impact it had on us.

The people who encourage and inspire you…they need the same. They need your stories.

I encourage you to practice this right away.

Thank your pastor after the message this Sunday. Tell him how a recent message impacted your life. (Or write him a note that arrives mid-week to lift his spirits)
Write an author to share how his book saved your marriage or grew your business.
Tell your wife how much her loving voicemail meant to you.
Do you remember your first customer? (You should!) Tell him or her how much their business means to you.
Share with others how much one employee’s efforts have helped the team.
Tell your kid’s how inspired you were when they offered their shoes to a girl without shoes (true story with our two-year old)

And then do something with it. Act on it. Tell someone else. Spread the word.

Share the message.

Give someone a copy of the book.

Leave a voicemail for your spouse.

Give the customer or employee a gift.

Deliver shoes to those who don’t have any.

Don’t miss an opportunity to say “thank you” and “here’s how this helped me.” You impact not only that person, but everyone else they will inspire as well.

Who has inspired you? What can you do to say “thank you” to him or her?

BIO: Matt McWilliams is a blogger and thought leader at MattMcWilliams.com, where he writes about life, leadership, and love…learned the hard way. He likes to tweet about business, leadership, family, and the Red Sox at @MattMcWilliams2 (don’t forget the 2 or you get an egg).

Ice Breaker – How Did I Get Here

Image by VerseVend (via Flickr – Creative Commons)

Tomorrow marks the 6th birthday of The Stretched Blog. With this in mind, I hope you’ll answer this week’s Ice Breaker Question. You can listen to my response by clicking the video link below.

Question: Tell us how and when you started following The Stretched Blog (Jon Stolpe Stretched).

My Answer: You’ll have to watch the video below.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Workplace Wisdom – Representing Christ In Our Response To Others

For those of you who may not know, I am an operations manager for a company that designs and installs building automation systems into new and renovated facilities throughout the Philadelphia area. I’ve been working for the same company for 17 1/2 years, and I’ve been in the industry for 19 years. Honestly, I like what I do … most days. I have the opportunity to help people succeed in reaching their career goals, and I have the opportunity to help customers as they seek to find energy-saving and money-saving solutions for their buildings.

People have asked me repeatedly about my career choice. They ask why I didn’t go into full-time missions. They ask me if I’ve ever considered becoming a pastor.

Being a Christian leader in the workplace has its challenges.

Being a Christian in the construction industry can really be tough.

But I’m convinced that God has called me to full-time missions right where I am. I work in an industry where many people are far from God. Coarse language and vulgar conversation is unfortunately not uncommon. There are a ton of people in this industry who need to find Christ and need examples to follow.

Most people at my office know that I’m a Christian, and they know that I’m a pastor’s son. I haven’t tried to hide this fact. But sometimes this puts me in a spotlight where I’m not always comfortable.

The other day, a coworker laid into me for a good ten to fifteen minutes about something that wasn’t my fault. The verbal lashing was completely uncalled for, and I honestly felt like lashing back at this employee. My natural response was to be defensive and to scream back at him. After taking the verbal abuse, I quietly left the room and proceeded to my next meeting. I was frustrated. I was worn out. And I was somewhat perplexed on how to move forward with this employee.

Several years ago, a couple of people in my office started calling me the Raging Reverend. For me, this wasn’t the most flattering nickname. I don’t want to be known as someone who acts with rage in the workplace. I want to be someone who sets the tone for a more positive working environment. I want to show people it’s okay to follow Christ and to work in this tough industry. I want to point people to a better way.

After my meeting and attending to a few other tasks, I knew it was time to approach this employee. While this employee doesn’t directly report to me, I have a responsibility to lead him and to work with him so he can best support other employees in the office. I returned to him with an update on a different topic. The conversation on this topic was brief, but it gave me a chance to break the ice. From there, we got back to the issue which caused the verbal outbreak. As we got back into the issue, he quietly apologized to me confessing to me his need to learn to control his mouth – to think before he speaks. We dealt with the issue and moved on. I was able to empathize with his own frustrations which led to his outburst, but I was able to let him know that it wasn’t acceptable to respond the way he did – to me, to other managers, to fellow employees, or to customers.

I don’t always get it right. I say things I shouldn’t, and I don’t get it right 100% of the time. But people are watching. They want to see how I respond to my own mistakes and to the mistakes of others. How we respond to our own missteps and to the missteps of others matters. We must learn to respond with grace, gentleness, patience, and truth.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:5-6

How can you better represent Christ in your workplace today? What suggestions do you have for responding to situations like the one I encountered this week?

I look forward to reading your response in the comments!

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How To Respond When You Are Stretched To The Limit

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