Where Stretch Started

That’s me in the center.  This picture was taken back in February of 1989 at Camp Johnsonburg where my senior high youth group, SYNC (Senior Youth Nurturing in Christ), was enjoying our annual winter retreat.  This is about the time when I picked up the nickname, Stretch.  When I started my junior year in high school, I was 5’6″.  By the end of my junior year, I had grown several inches.  Somewhere along the way, someone started calling me Stretch.

High school was a stretching time for me in more ways than one.  I obviously grew in size, but I was also stretched in many other facets of my life.  As a preacher’s kid, I struggled to figure out my place.  I was known as a goodie-goodie to many, but I was certainly not perfect.  At times, I was a very obnoxious kid – just ask some of my youth leaders.  As I went through high school, I began to discover an interest in leadership.  This was an area where I stretched a lot taking an active role in the student leadership of our youth group and in the student government at the high school.  I certainly stretched academically as I took on a full load of honors classes.

Here’s a picture of my dad and Dave Kennedy on this same youth retreat (my dad is wearing the darker shirt).  My dad was the youth pastor, and Dave was one of the youth leaders.  What I didn’t fully realize until recently is that my youth leaders (including my dad) were stretching too.  I’m sure I helped in that matter with my own actions, attitudes, and questions, but the leaders of our youth group were more than likely stretching in many different directions themselves – raising a family, working on their marriages, growing in their careers, serving in their churches, and interacting in their neighborhoods.

And this is where I find myself today.  The tables have turned.  I’m a youth leader balancing work, life, and church.  And I’m still stretching.  I’m not growing vertically anymore, and I’m trying to prevent any horizontal growth.  But I am definitely stretching in my faith, my leadership, my work, my marriage, my family, and in other ways as well.  And so that nickname has stuck with me, and I suspect I will continue to stretch as life continues.

How are you stretching these days?  What was your nickname in high school?  How has that nickname stayed with you since then?

Scars And Stretch Marks Revealed – Why Scars Are Meant To Be Exposed

Some people may think scars are cool, but if we’re honest no one really likes their ugly spots, blemishes, and scars left exposed for others to see.

When I was a teenager, my complexion was fairly clear, but I did deal with a few zits from time to time.  I was always self conscious of my “big” nose (thanks to the teasing of some of my peers), and it didn’t help went one zit left a scar right on the middle of my nose for a good portion of my high school days.  I couldn’t cover it up.  It was right there for everyone to see like a Dallas Cowboys fan in the middle of the stands at Lincoln Financial Field (home of the Philadelphia Eagles).

We all have scars.  Some are physical blemishes like the spot on my nose or the two-inch gash on my left leg.  Most of our scars run much deeper.  They’re emotional scars created by personal blunders, dysfunctional relationships, and by some things outside of our control.  (I wrote about some of these scars in my own life about a year and a half ago – Less Like Scars.)

We run away.  We cover up our blemishes with make-up, masks, and masquerades.  We put on an act.  We pretend that nothing ever happened, and we hide our real selves.  We go into denial, and we don’t deal with the pain.

Maybe our scars and stretch marks were meant to be revealed.

Here are 5 reasons I believe scars are meant to be exposed:

1. Our scars and stretch marks need exposure to accelerate the healing process.  [Click to Tweet]  If we keep a bandage on our wound, it will not heal.  The wound needs air and light.  Letting others see our hurts gives others a chance to be a part of the healing process.
2. Our scars and stretch marks tell a story.  [Click to Tweet]  They testify to the junk we’ve dealt with in our lives, and they speak to the healing that is possible.
3. Our scars and stretch marks bring glory to God.  [Click to Tweet]  If we truly believe that God is the Healer and Great Physician then we have to believe that God can work through the painful parts in our lives to create something far more beautiful than we could ever imagine.
4. Our scars and stretch marks represent hope for others.  [Click to Tweet]  Our blemishes help others relate to us.  When people see us living life after we’ve been wounded, it will show them that life can go on.
5. Our scars and stretch marks help us identify with Christ.  [Click to Tweet]  “From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.”  Galatians 6:17  Jesus Christ died on the cross and was wounded for you and me.  He was wounded and scarred for you and for me.  My blemishes are a reminder that Christ bears scars for me.

What scars do you have?  How has it helped to reveal your scars?

For other articles on this topic, check out these posts:

• Less Like Scars
• I Have A Confession

Be Still and Know – 5 Thoughts On Finding Stillness In A Busy World

My weekday reality often feels like I’m running from one place to the next.  It often seems as though I take little time to be still.  And even when I’m sitting down or laying down to sleep, my mind is in motion.  Yet the Bible clearly calls us to be still and know that He is God.

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

Lance Armstrong, Barack Obama, and Martin Luther King Jr.

Lance Armstrong, Barack Obama, and Martin Luther King Jr.

These three names are near the top of the search charts these days.

For Lance Armstrong, he’s facing the aftermath of his admission to doping during his career as a cyclist.  This past week on the Oprah Winfrey Network he came clean about years of “systematic doping” which led to winning the Tour de France seven consecutive years.  He had his Olympic bronze medal stripped from him this past week.  And I’m guessing that he opened the door for countless lawsuits in which people and companies will seek to be compensated for the damage they faced as the hands of Armstrong to their finances, their reputations, and their careers.  It could get pretty ugly for Lance.  I’m sure he could use a little grace and mercy as he faces the penalties and ridicule that he certainly deserves.

For Barack Obama, he’s being inaugurated today for his second term as President of the United States.  He certainly faces some uphill battles of his own in the coming four years.  I’m sure he’s made plenty of mistakes throughout his life including during his first term.  No matter what, some people will love him and some people will dislike him.  With the state of the economy, the situations overseas, and the decisions to be made within our borders, it could be a pretty tough four years for Barack and his family.  I’m sure he could use a little wisdom to go with some grace and mercy as he faces the challenges that await him.

For Martin Luther King Jr., this is a day we remember.  Many will be talking about his famous “I Have A Dream” speech today as they celebrate the man who spoke openly about a dream for equality for all people regardless of race or gender.  Many strides have been made in this department since King said these words as evidenced by the election of Obama to the highest position in our country.  But I’m sure more could be done to bring about equal opportunities for education and career/jobs.  For me MLK Day reminds me that there is still work to be done for his dream and for my own dreams.

So how do these three people fit together.  In a way, I can identify with each of them on small levels.  While I haven’t committed the highly public mistakes that Lance Armstrong admitted to this week, I’ve made my fair share of blunders over the years.  I could definitely use some grace and mercy.  While I don’t hold the responsibility of leading our country, I am a leader in my home, at work, and in my church.  I could definitely use wisdom to go with the grace and mercy.  And as for the MLK Day reminder, I have dreams.  I must continue to go after these dreams with a passion and drive that is relentless.  And I must continue to standup for the rights of those who can’t speak for themselves.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9

What are your thoughts on Lance Armstrong, Barack Obama, and Martin Luther King Jr.?  How do you identify with them?  What’s your dream?

You Are Here

I took this picture a couple of years ago at the Franklin Institute.  This sign was located in a stairwell between exhibits.  I just thought it was funny.  What can I say?  This is my humor, and you’re stuck with it if you’re still reading my blog.

As I think about the sign, “You Are Here,” I think it’s a good reminder for me.  Sometimes, it can be easy to get stuck in our past –  where we dwell on either our victories or defeats.  Let’s face it, we often like the way things were just because that’s what we’re used to.  Does that make sense?

On the other hand, sometimes, it can be easy to get caught up in the worries (and hopes) of the future.  I think it’s good to have hopes and dreams and to go after them.  But sometimes, we deal with anxiety because we’re so focused on what might happen in the future.  We are crippled by questions which have answers that are out of our control.

As I think about this, two passages come to mind:

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:25-34

These offer great reminders to rejoice in today – this moment in time when the past is in the past, and God holds the future in His hands.

I am here.  Where are you?

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

The other day in the lunch room, I was talking to one of my colleagues.  He’s getting ready to become a grandfather for the first time and for the second time as his daughter and daughter-in-law are both expecting babies to arrive in the new year.  As we talked, we both agreed that time was going by so quickly.

He commented that the days go by so fast.  He is trying to enjoy each day.  He said, “Yesterday is gone.  I can’t get it back.”

A couple of verses came to mind as I pondered this conversation:

All people are like grass,
    and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
    Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    but the word of our God endures forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8

 

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.

Ephesians 5:15-16

 

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. 

Colossians 4:2-6

 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:34

 

Life truly is short.  We get 24 hours a day.  We get 365 days in a year.  And we get approximately 85 years in our life time.  If we blink it will be gone.

We have a choice to make.  We get let these numbers depress us.  Or we can use them as a reminder to make the most of the days we’ve been given.  What’s your choice?

Here’s a few thoughts that might help you change your thinking:

1. “Have To” versus “Get To” – Do you have to go to work today?  Or do you get to go to work today?  Do you see how changing one word in that question can change the whole thing?  I get to go to work today.  I get to work with a great team as we wrestle through some great challenges.  I get to go to my son’s basketball practice tonight.  I get to finalize our Christmas letter tonight.
2. Celebrate the past and move forward.  There are many things from our past that deserve pondering and celebration, but we need to keep moving.  I’ve been guilty of dwelling on the bad things from my past.  It’s kind of like stepping in a pile of dog poop and deciding to stand there.  We need to move away from the pile.  Sure, we need to clean up our messes, but we then need to move on.
3. Plan for the future, but be present today.  I believe that good stewardship involves planning for the future, but we must not get so focused on the future that we forget about today.  How can we be more intentional with the time we’ve been given this day?  How does this impact my family, my job, and my other areas of passion and interest?  Am I making the most of these moments?  These are important questions to answer.
4. Live like we’re dying.  How would you change the way you live today if you knew you only had limited time left?  Thinking this way brings perspective and a sense of urgency.  Let’s make the most of these days!

What do you think?  What other ideas can you add to the list above?  Are you stuck in the past?  How are you being intentional today?

Musical Stretch (Guest Post by Dan Erickson)

Today, I’m honored to present guest blogger, Dan Erickson.  Dan and I recently became friends through the blogging community.  He shares a little bit about himself in the intro to his post.  To connect with Dan, visit is blog (Intentional Rhythms) or follow him on Twitter.  Enjoy!

I’ve been stretched a lot in life.  I was a child victim of a cult.  I dealt with post-traumatic stress in my 20s.  I returned to college in my 30s.  I became a single dad in my 40s.  I have all sorts of sad stories I could tell, but I decided to keep this on the upbeat: music.

I’m a musician and a songwriter.  I’ve written 100s of songs throughout three decades.  No, you’ve never heard any on the radio… yet.  A few years ago, I reached a point that many call “writer’s block” as a songwriter.  I was burnt out.  I felt like I’d explored nearly every style and genre of songwriting.  I currently haven’t written a song in nearly two years.  That’s a record for me.  However, I’ve decided to stretch myself musically.

I’m taking some of my old songs and rewriting them.  I’m guitarist and drummer, but have picked up mandolin and banjo over the past few years.  Laugh, but I’m taking eight of my older songs originally written on the guitar and rewriting them on the banjo.  The songs are part of a project that accompanies my book A Train Called Forgiveness.  But enough about me.  What can you learn by this musical stretch?

1. Think again.  When you feel like you’re out of ideas, think again.  We often trick ourselves into thinking we have nothing new, nothing fresh.  But it’s the process of continually experimenting that creates new material.  If you keep mulling things around in your mind you’ll be surprised at the results.
2. Change tools.  If you always go back to the same tool day after day, you’ll only be able to do a limited amount of work.  It takes more than a rake to plant a garden.  As a songwriter, I was able to get some fresh melodies and textures out of my old songs by rewriting them on the banjo.  New tools can inspire and refresh.
3. Consider the angles.  We often beat ourselves up over not being able to complete a project in the form we’ve convinced ourselves is best.  Rather than considering new angles we tend to kick the project to the curb.  My latest musical project has taken on new life because I was willing to go back and rewrite old songs instead of demanding new material of myself.
4. Expand on skills.  If you’re a blogger who feels like your posts are getting repetitive, take some time to expand your skills.  Practice creative writing.  Work on the technical side of blogging.  If you’re a writer: take a writing class or read more books.  If you’re a musician: try another instrument or play a different style of music.

Sometimes life can stretch us.  I’ve had plenty of times when it has.  But don’t forget, we can also stretch ourselves by making choices to take our abilities to the next level.

Is there something in your life that you can improve upon?  Are you willing to rethink old ways?  Are you willing to try out new tools?  Do you consider the picture from a variety of angles?  Can you expand on your current skills?  If you answered yes to these questions, then you’re ready to stretch.

Can you describe a time in your life when you had to think outside of the box or use new tools to stretch yourself to the next level?  Please post your comments below:

Ringing Up Patience at Register Six (Guest Post by D’Anne Hotchkiss)

Today, I have the honor of presenting D’Anne Hotchkiss.  D’Anne blogs over at LifeIsHOTblog.  Today, she shares a recent STRETCHING experience with The Stretched Community.  A brief bio with her contact links is included at the end of the post.  Enjoy!

Life is not a road race. When we slow down, we have time to think, and to build our patience muscle. (The photo was taken by Brad Smith, and is used by permission.)

The other day I made my monthly pilgrimage to Wal-Mart. I picked a time of day calculated to have few shoppers and little road traffic. What is the virtue of waiting three light cycles to get through a single intersection? I love efficiency and I’m not a good ‘waiter.’ My idea of good use of my time would be to have my teeth cleaned, my hair cut, and a mani/pedi, simultaneously, preferably while I listen to a good book. Don’t ask me about lines at toll booths or airport security.

Shopping list in hand, it took me 20 minutes to pick up my items. Ah, the bliss of shopping off-peak. And then I got to the checkout. I picked a short line. I noticed that the clerk moved slowly and appeared to be of below-average mental capacity. But she was steady. Fair enough, hat tip to the hiring manager. Oh all right, the other lines were longer and those shoppers had more items.

Over on my blog, LifeisHOTBlog, I write about how being honest, open and true in all things makes us better people and bring us better relationships. So from time to time, I push myself to do something hard because it makes me stronger in my relationships. This was one of those times.

While the clerk rang up the women in front of me I bid my time and bit my tongue. I tried to find the shiny side of each irritating minute. I can tell you that every item was lovingly picked up by the cashier, carefully scanned, with a pause for the scanner beep, and only then gently placed in a plastic bag, as though it were a raw egg being readied for a long trip. My life has been rushed lately and I should take advantage of this time to slow down.

As each bag started to get full, the clerk would carefully rearrange items to make room for one or two more things. No sense wasting plastic bags that may end up in the landfill and that cost her employer a tiny slice of profit.

There was a misunderstanding about which item was being purchased in multiples and so required adjustments. Miscommunication happens to all of us.

Why, one week before Thanksgiving, did the shopper need a large roasting pan and this particular size of aluminum foil? Oh, to have childlike innocence and curiosity.

Finally, it was my turn. Yes, the clerk exhibited the same care, if not expediency, with my order as she had with the previous two. I pictured a cat I had who, when she knew she had no choice but to endure the vet’s exam or other indignation, became completely passive. Not a hiss or snarl or claw.

Honestly, I don’t know how long before I was sprung free, but I’d guess 20 minutes.

So what did I learn from my experience? Nothing new. But I was reminded of some things that I seem to need reminding of periodically. Number one, remaining pleasant and gracious on the outside lessens my feelings of impatience and aggravation on the inside. Number two, I can embrace my fight and flight emotions and hold them, without them holding me. Number three, hissing, snarling and clawing really get you nowhere.

What about you? Do you sometimes choose to stretch yourself by putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation? How’s that work for you? Like any exercise, it gets easier with time, so keep at it.

D’Anne Hotchkiss Bio:  Life is rarely perfect. Sometimes, it is not even good. These are the parts that especially deserve expression. That’s my belief and what has inspired me to create Life Is HOT. I’m on a journey to embrace life through Honest, Open and True living. Come along with me at LifeIsHOTBlog and follow me on Twitter, @lifeishotblog. Let’s see what happens.

Walking The Tightropes Of Life – Balancing Store And Steward

I feel like I’m walking on another tightrope.  Let me explain.

Have you ever purchased something only to put it on a shelf or in a closet to keep it in mint condition?

Maybe you bought a brand-new car only to park it in the garage.  Maybe you purchased a book only to keep it in its wrapping to protect it from being damaged.

I’ve done this before.  I’ve purchased things only to store them up to keep them pristine.  For example last year, I purchased a couple of packages of undershirts.  These can be difficult to find in my size as I require extra-large tall sizes, and most stores don’t stock tall sizes.  I still had some older undershirts that I wore for a long time.  Meanwhile, I let the new ones sit in my closet in the original packaging for the better part of a year – unused.

The more I think about it, this doesn’t seem like the best stewardship.  What good does it do to let something sit on a shelf that was meant to be used?

Last night, I wrestled with this as we finished up youth group at the church.  Our church currently has two buildings on its campus.  The first building was built with a focus on our kids ministry.  The second building which is currently being utilized as our worship area is primarily designed to focus on our student ministry.  As we continue to grow, we will need build another building or two to keep up, and we’ll need to be diligent in planting other campuses/churches around the area (but that’s another topic).

Getting back to last night’s youth group, I was cleaning up after the evening activities when I came across a piece of drywall.  Apparently, someone had ripped a hole in one of the wall’s of the building.  I have no idea how it got there, but I was initially ticked off.  What are kids thinking?  Don’t they realize the money that has gone into building a facility focused on them?  Why don’t they take care of it?

As I drove home, I continued to wrestle with my anger.  And then it hit me, there were seven new kids at youth group last night.  Every week, we are seeing new students checking out the youth group.  Most churches would be ecstatic to experience this type of growth.  The youth group is reaching students who come from broken homes, unchurched families, and typical teenager struggles.  The group is having an impact on these students and their families.

Sure it’s important to take care of our stuff – the resources that God has given us, and it’s also important to be good stewards of the things we have.  What good is a building that is locked up all week?  A building is meant to be used?  A building focused on teenagers will occasionally experience busted drywall.

I think this is what Jesus may have been getting up in the Sermon on the Mount when he said:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6:19-21

Let’s store up things that matter.  Let’s be good stewards of what we’ve received.  And let’s learn to look at life and our stuff from a different perspective.

How are you doing with this balancing act?  What are you storing up?  Are you being a good steward?  Do you ever struggle with this?  Jump in the conversation by leaving a comment.

We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program

Last night, our H.O.P.E. group was supposed to be serving at The Good Samaritan Shelter in Phoenixville, PA.  We were scheduled to paint and clean a couple of rooms at the shelter with our group which typically meets twice a month to serve other people.  It didn’t happen though.

In the middle of the day, we received news that the shelter was closing their offices early due to the inclement weather.  We received a few inches of wet snow yesterday which doesn’t sound like a lot for those in the some parts of the country.  For some reason, the first significant snow fall put everyone in our area on high alert.

And so our regularly scheduled program was interrupted.  The interruption came with mixed feelings.  My wife and I were a little sad, because we had a big group scheduled to help out.  We were excited to have our whole H.O.P.E. group along with a few guests lined up to put a dent in the shelter.  It’s challenging to reschedule activities like this, so cancelling this event brings an unknown as to when we’ll be able to serve again with this ministry.

On the other hand, our family has an extremely busy schedule this week with activities scheduled for each evening.  The break last night was somewhat of a blessing as it gave us the opportunity to be at home for the evening.  We were able to eat together, read, and relax after a busy day of work and school.

Sometimes an interruption can be a good thing.  I don’t normally handle interruption all that well.  I don’t like change, and I don’t like it when my schedule or routine is compromised.  So what can I learn from last night’s interruption?

1. Interruptions happen.  It’s a fact of life. You and I need to get used to the fact that things come up that will interrupt our lives.
2. Embrace the interruption.  Sometimes an interruption can be just what we need to get us realigned.  Besides, pouting and grumbling over the impact of an interruption is a waste of energy.  My kids enjoyed the opportunity to play in the snow.  Perhaps, this was their way of embracing the interruption.
3. Evaluate your interrupted activity.  What was I doing when I was interrupted?  What part of my schedule was interrupted?  Do I need to return to that activity, program, conversation, etc.?  Or do I need to move on?  I hope that we can reschedule this H.O.P.E. serving opportunity, but it will be important for us to evaluate how this fits into the schedule for our group and for our family.
4. Expect interruption.  Interruptions are a good reminder that we need to build in margins into our schedules and into our lives.  Margins give us space to breath, to think, and to react to life’s interruptions.
5. Be considerate when you interrupt and when you are interrupted.  It’s going to happen.  You will need to interrupt someone else and their regularly scheduled program, and you will be interrupted by someone else who really needs your attention.  Learn to respect other people.  Respond in grace.  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
6. Trust God when your life is interrupted.  Sometimes interruptions can be far more than an inconvenience.  Sometimes an interruption can be like shoving a stick in the spokes of a moving bicycle.  Maybe it’s a health crisis, a job loss, or a death of a loved one.  These kinds of interruptions can rock our worlds.  In times like these, we need to remember to trust God.  He may be the only thing we can hang onto when an interruption shatters our lives.

When was the last time your schedule was interrupted?  How was this interruption a good thing?  How has interruption in your life STRETCHED you?