Hit The Brakes – Pay Attention To The Here And Now

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

The other night, Leanne and I were in Philadelphia for dinner and a play. As subscribers to a local theater in which we see five shows a year, we’ve grown accustomed to driving into the city and parking in the same parking garage which is convenient to the theater and many area restaurants. The traffic in the city was busy as usual. As we approached the parking garage, I turned my left-turn signal on and prepared to enter the garage. Just as it appeared that the path was clear, Leanne yelled “Stop!” as a white car sped through the intersection of the cross street next to the garage.

Thankfully, I was able to step on the brakes before our cars collided. I’m sure the white car was going too fast, but I quickly realized that I had failed to see a red light in my direction as I was looking past it to the garage entrance.

This near calamity got me thinking (of course).

Obviously, I was very thankful for God’s hedge of protection on us which kept us safe.

Secondly, it’s important for us to be aware of our surroundings. We can easily be caught up in looking down the road towards our ultimate goal or vision. It’s important to have vision for the future, but we must also be aware of our present circumstances. There are things happening all around us that deserve and need our attention. Maybe it’s a red light telling us to stop for a minute. But maybe it’s another signal that could impact the achievement of our goal. Perhaps, you need to have a conversation with a fellow employee in the hall or in the lunch room today. You could easily let the conversation opportunity pass as you head to your next meeting, or you could take a few minutes to find out how your co-worker is really doing.

I often get tunnel vision. Thankfully, I’m a fairly safe driver. But I tend to lock in on my target and miss out on the world happening all around me.

The near collision on Saturday night was a timely reminder to broaden my perspective and to pay attention to the details happening all around me on the way.

Do you struggle with tunnel vision? What is one thing you can do today to be more aware of the things and the people around you?

You’re My Only Hope

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

In the original Star Wars movie which is now considered Episode 4, Princess Leia sends a message to Obi-Wan Kenobi (via R2-D2) saying, “Help me Obi-Wan. You’re my only hope.”

Hope is an interesting concept that is so often understated and misrepresented in today’s world.

I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow. I hope the Phillies win the World Series. I hope you have a good day. It’s good to have hopes and dreams.

Over four years ago, Barack Obama ran for president on a platform of hope and change, and many looked to him as the hope for something different and better in their lives. He may have brought a hope to many people, be he and all other leaders will ultimately fall short when it comes to bringing about a true and lasting hope.

In Psalm 62, we hear of the one true Hope worth following and pursuing:

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

How long will you assault me?
    Would all of you throw me down—
    this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
Surely they intend to topple me
    from my lofty place;
    they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
    but in their hearts they curse.^[b]

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God^[c];
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.

Surely the lowborn are but a breath,
    the highborn are but a lie.
If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
    together they are only a breath.
Do not trust in extortion
    or put vain hope in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
    do not set your heart on them.

One thing God has spoken,
    two things I have heard:
“Power belongs to you, God,
    and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;
and, “You reward everyone
    according to what they have done.”

Psalm 62

In our efforts to bring hope to others around us, we must remember from where true hope comes. It comes from God. If we are to know hope and to share it with others, we must understand that there is truly only one hope. It’s not from Obi-Wan Kenobi. All other hopes will fall short. Jesus Christ is our only hope. Go after that Hope with all you’ve got, and you won’t be disappointed!

Do you need hope in you life right now? What are you hoping for today?

I’m Losing My Patience – 6 Ways To Rediscover Patience

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

As a kid, I can remember a few times when my Dad’s fuse was shorter than normal. Especially when he was tired and under a lot of stress, his patience would grow thin, and he would become frustrated and somewhat angry as my brothers and I would push the limits on what he could tolerate.

Overall, my Dad is a great father, and I’d honestly be honored and blessed if I could pick up half of his qualities. He’s a leader. He’s wise. He’s extremely intelligent. He’s caring. I could go on. But if I’m honest, I hoped I would miss out on his occasional short patience “quality.”

Well, I’m afraid that didn’t completely work out. The other night, Leanne said to me, “I think you’re getting more impatient as you get older.” Whoa! First, she’s calling me impatient. And then, she’s calling me older! Maybe she’s right. By the end of the night, my tolerance for horsing around diminishes, and I can often tell that I’m losing my patience. It’s not a feeling I completely enjoy. I don’t want to be grumpy or to be known as the “wet blanket” in the house, so I need to find a way to restore my patience levels.

Here are several ideas that come to mind for bringing patience back into my life. Maybe, they’ll help you too!

Recognize that patience come from God. According to Paul in Galatians, patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (or forbearance), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
Pray for patience. Many would consider this to be a dangerous prayer. I’m not so sure. If true patience comes from God, doesn’t it make sense that we should ask for it? “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
Learn the things that cause us to lose our patience. Maybe it’s lack of sleep. Maybe it’s financial stress. Maybe it’s pressure at work. It’s important to learn these causes, so we can come up with a plan to combat the problems.
Take counter measures. If it’s lack of sleep – get more sleep. If it’s stress – find ways to eliminate or alleviate the stress. Running is a huge counter measure for me in the battle against stress. When I get regular exercise, my patience tends to improve.
Get someone to watch your back. Use a friend to keep your patience levels in check. I’m thankful that my wife would call me on the carpet about my patience. I need people in my life who build me up and who help me deal with some of my “demons”.
Ask for forgiveness. On the rare occasion when my Dad would lose his patience, he would come back and apologize. He would ask for forgiveness if he had somehow wronged on of us. We’re not perfect. Not one of us gets it right all the time. We all make mistakes. We will lose our patience. Admitting failure can be a positive step in the healing process and in STRETCHING us towards the personal growth we need to pursue. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Do you struggle with patience? What helps you when you lose your patience? What thoughts can you add to the list above?

RePurposed

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

Have you ever thought you were on the right track towards living out your purpose when suddenly you were turned towards a different direction?

Maybe you started college studying one thing when things switched up and changed your career trajectory. Perhaps you felt led to pursue full-time ministry when God clearly directed you to take up ministry in the work force.

Over the weekend our family was reminded that re-purposing happens. On Friday, we received an e-mail telling us that our most recent Seeing Eye puppy, Irwin, had been dropped out of the training program due to a health issue (faulty eye ducts). Obviously, Irwin needs to have healthy eyes in order to be a Seeing Eye dog.

When we received the message, we had a choice to make – to take Irwin back or to let him go through the adoption program that The Seeing Eye sponsors. With a new puppy arriving at our house later this afternoon (a “C” puppy – meaning his name will start with a “C”), we made the decision to allow Irwin to go to another family. Irwin will be re-purposed. Instead of being a Seeing Eye guide dog, Irwin will be a “forever dog” for a well deserving family.

When our purpose changes, it can be sad, scary, and confusing. It’s sad to leave behind the path we had been on, and it’s scary to leave what we knew in exchange for the unknown. It’s also confusing – why wasn’t this purpose more obvious from the beginning?

But a change in purpose can also be eye-opening and exciting. When we’re truly on the right path towards following our purpose, it’s like a light switch just went on.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

I’m in the process of reading The Connecting Church 2.0: Beyond Small Groups to Authentic Community by Randy Frazee. In the book, Frazee talks about the importance of finding authentic community. He shares about discovering our purpose (or story) by first knowing God’s purpose and story. Once we understand God’s story, we can move to “our story” – the purpose of the church and community. Only when we have an understanding of these stories can we begin to understand and follow our purpose and story.

Like the first believers in Jerusalem, I must belong, grow, and serve. I must fully participate as a member of a Christian community right where I live. I must engage in a journey of learning to think, act, and be like Jesus. I must actively use my life, my gifts, and my resources to serve others. (p. 73).

Your journey maybe unique, but it involves community. As you seek out your own purpose, I would challenge you to:

Follow God. Read His Word. Explore and understand God and His characteristics.
Plug into a church community. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you were created for community. Your community will help you discover a purpose that goes beyond yourself.
Explore your areas of passion. God has given you unique gifts, talents, and interests that will point you towards your purpose. Don’t be afraid to try something new and different.
Trust in God. In Proverbs 3:5-6, we are reminded that God will make our paths straight when we put our trust in Him.
Fight discouragement. God has a plan for you!

“For I know the plans I have for you,”declares the Lord,“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

What’s your purpose? How are you seeking out your purpose? Have you ever felt like your purpose had changed?

The Voice Over

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

A voice-over is a production technique where a voice—that is not part of the narrative—is used in a some type of presentation. [See Wikipedia.]

Earlier this week, I posted about two different voices I heard Sunday night. In the post, I wrote about the importance of relying on God’s Voice and about listening to positive voices in our lives. While I stand on The Voice that reminds me that I matter, I keep going back to the first voice. If you recall, this was a voice of someone telling me I wasn’t needed. I haven’t been dwelling on his words. But I have been thinking about him. In fact, thoughts have been running through my head like a voice-over as I rehash this experience.

As the girl in our youth group was getting baptized, I watched this man from the corner of my eye as he observed the service. He did not appear to be a participant but more of an outsider looking in.

Sure the baptism service was an opportunity for believers to celebrate the decision of someone to follow Christ. And it was a chance for the young girl to publicly state that Jesus is the leader and forgiver of her life. But the service was also a reminder to me that there are others out there who are still lost.

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. Luke 19:10

Christ came for the owner of the first voice that I heard on Sunday. Obviously, I don’t know the true condition of his heart, but I can presume that he wasn’t on the same page spiritually as many of those in the room.

The cool thing is that he felt comfortable coming into our church. There are many churches out there. Many of them say they want to reach out to the lost, but lots of churches fail when it comes to showing Christ’s love in a way that attracts, convinces, and accepts the lost. In fact, many churches won’t let “outsiders” in to hang out – divorcees, adulterers, homosexuals, and thieves. This isn’t meant to discourage churches from speaking the truth. It’s more of a challenge to consider how we can have an impact on the lost of this world. After all, we’re called to flee from sin, but we’re called to love everyone – and to go into ALL the world to share God’s message of hope and love. Christ set the example for us. He hung out with the “outsiders”.

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”Then Jesus told them this parable:“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” Luke 15:1-7

Over and over again, I hear that voice from Sunday night. Again, I don’t hear the words, but I hear the reminder – God loves the lost, and He’s calling us to hang out with the “outsiders”. I hear the voice-over calling me to keep stretching and growing.

When have you heard voice-overs in your life that cause you to stretch? How are you intentionally hanging out with the “outsiders”?

The Voice – Which Voice Will You Listen To?

Posted on March 19, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

Which voice will you listen to? The one that says you are not needed, or the one that says you matter? I heard both these voices the other night. I choose to hear that I matter.

Let me explain. Sunday night, I was helping out at the youth group by serving as one of the adult leaders. I’ve been volunteering with RIOT (the name of the group) since I went to Guatemala with 25 of the students from the group. Over the past several months, I’ve seen lives changed and relationships strengthened.

Part of the life change I’ve seen is when students make a decision to follow Christ and get baptized. On Sunday night, one of the students made that decision and was baptized at the end of Sunday night. As the baptism service was starting two older gentlemen walked in who weren’t normally part the adult volunteers. I figured they must be related to the girl getting baptized, so I walked over and tried to help them to the front so they could get a better view of the baptism. As I asked if I could help them, I was quickly reprimanded.by the older man. He told me, “I don’t need your help. If I needed your help, I would have asked for it.” Okay. I was just trying to be helpful.

This was one of the voices I heard the other night. I could choose to dwell on that voice – a voice telling me I’m not needed.

As I was leaving the church Sunday night, I heard another voice. Our youth pastor grabbed me as I was walking out the door, and he said “What you do matters. Thank you for being here tonight.”

What a contrast! It was as if I had two different people sitting on my shoulder. One was saying, “You stink.” The other was saying, “You’re the best!”

We hear voices like this all the time. “You can’t do it.” “Get away from me.” “You’re a loser.” “You’re not wanted.”

But there’s another Voice we need to listen to. Sure it could be a youth pastor, a good friend, or a family member. But there’s a Voice we all need to hear. It’s God’s voice, and he wants us to know we are special – we’re made with a purpose – we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What we do matters. And more importantly, you and I matter to God.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.Psalm 139:13-14

“For I know the plans I have for you,”declares the Lord,“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.Zephaniah 3:17

I don’t know your history or what you’re going through right now, but this is the Voice that you need to hear right now.

Who has been a positive voice in your life? What have your heard from these voices (and from The Voice)?

Stretching Beyond My Comfort Zone

Posted on March 14, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

I am so excited to share guest blogger Eileen Knowles. Eileen guest posted here back in July 2012 while I was in Guatemala (Living the Lessons). Today, she shares about a recent STRETCHING experience in which she references a recent blog post – Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone…My First Vlog. Please read her post, answer the questions, and stop by Eileen’s blog for more great writing.

(I’d love to share your STRETCHED story with The Stretched Community. Let me know if you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger here by leaving a comment.)

Last week, I tried something new and scary on my blog. I stretched out of my comfort zone. I came out from behind my computer screen and recorded a video post. And, not only that, the Lord was prompting me to share a portion of my journey in recovery and freedom from addiction.

I’ve shared my story before on my blog, but never in front of a camera. I sometimes find it amusing how God decides to work when He prompts us to move beyond the familiar. He didn’t call me to simply show my face and talk about something lighthearted and safe.

If God had left it completely up to me, I would have LOVED to talk about coffee. I love coffee. Other people I know love coffee. Wouldn’t being in front of a camera talking about something like this be a nice place to start when we choose to follow God out into unknown territory?

But, God had a different plan for me last week. And, His plan didn’t involve a small timid step. His plan involved a bigger leap of faith.

Eileen…share what I’ve done in your life. Encourage people to not give up. Remind them that they are not alone in their struggles. Tell them about freedom!

I was reminded last week that God never calls us out in order for us to play it safe. There will always be risk involved when He invites us to take a leap of faith. Yet, if we choose not to trust Him or to follow His lead, we risk something far greater.

As I stretched beyond my comfort zone last week, it was this beautiful what-if question that carried me forward.

What if by taking this risk God uses me to help just one person move from captivity to freedom?

God desires to use each of us in a unique way…and, most likely, the journey will involve some scary stretching! [Click to Tweet]

Take a moment a think back on your most recent trip out of your comfort zone.
What was the result?
What did you learn?

Eileen Knowles is a small town Arizona girl who studied English at The University of Arizona a long, long time ago. She now lives in small town North Carolina with her husband, Roger, their nine-year old son, and one quirky dog named Bisbee. When she is not working part-time as a Virtual Assistant for eaHelp, she thoroughly enjoys drinking coffee, running, playing Scrabble, and writing about how cool it is to journey through life with Jesus holding her hand.

Eileen is passionate about leaving a legacy for her son and encouraging others along the way who might need a dose of hope poured into their weary lives.

You can find her taking at The Scenic Route

Twitter: https://twitter.com/cupojoegirl
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/eileen.knowles.9

How To Use Milestones To Kick-Start A New Thing

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

Yesterday was a big day on The Stretched Blog as we celebrated the 1,000th post. Milestones like this are great as they permit us to reflect on where we’ve come from and what we’ve accomplished. Thank you to everyone who shared thoughts and good wishes to help celebrate this big event. It’s important to pause and commemorate achievements like this.

It’s also important to keep going – to start again (and again). Milestones like yesterday should be a reminder that each day represents a new beginning. I love the verse from Isaiah mentioned above.

While today is the 1,001st Stretched Blog post, it is also the first blog post of the new thing that God is doing in my life (and here at The Stretched Blog) starting today. I’m so thankful and excited for the new things that await me and The Stretched Community.

How To Use Milestones To Kick-Start A New Thing:

Keep track of what going on in your life. Whether it’s a journal, a blog, a photo album, or a really good memory, documenting our past is such a great way to learn and to recognize growth.
Pause, commemorate, and celebrate. Don’t rush my the milestones without taking time to reflect and to be thankful. Just like the Israelites setup 12 stones when they crossed the Jordan River (see Joshua 4), it’s important for us to set up monuments to remind us of God’s mercy and provision in our lives. Yesterday’s post was a “12 stone post” for me.
Keep going. The Israelites didn’t camp out at the 12 stone monument. They kept moving into the Promised Land. Similarly, we need to keep going. There is a new thing waiting for us as we head into our Promised Land.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. There will be more milestones to celebrate. And there will be more new things ahead. Don’t stop. Don’t rest on your laurels.

What milestones can you celebrate today? And what new thing is God doing in your life?

What Matters – What Doesn’t Matter

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

Life can be pretty challenging, and it can be so easy to get distracted. We get our priorities out of whack. We focus our attention on things that just don’t matter.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on what really matters. With that in mind, I’d like to offer some ways to focus on things that really matter.

Six Steps To Focusing On What Matters:

Start with The Book – The Bible. God’s Word is the best place to start to discover what really matters. The Bible is full of hope and truth. It’s a book that provides instructions for how we should live. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Keep your eye on the prize. It takes discipline and focus. How do you go after a goal? You put reminders all around you. You always have the goal in mind. Make it your goal to discover and focus on what matters. “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14
Find accountability. Recognize that you can’t do it yourself. You need people in your life who will spur you on toward truth – toward things that matter. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” Hebrews 10:24-25
Take out the trash. Get rid of distractions. What things keep you away from the things that really matter? Do whatever necessary to flee from these things. “Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” James 1:21
Filter. Filter. Filter. Be diligent always. Constantly measure the things of your life against the gold standard. Don’t know what the gold standard is? Go back to Step One. “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:9
Don’t be afraid to start over – again and again and again. Here’s the reality – we are all going to mess up – repeatedly. The beautiful thing is that we can start new. When you’ve been distracted, start all over. There are times in our lives when we need to accept grace for ourselves. “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

What would you add to this list? What are you doing that matters? How would your life change by focusing on what matters?

Where Stretch Started

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Jon Stolpe

That’s me in the center. This picture was taken back in February of 1989 at Camp Johnsonburg where my senior high youth group, SYNC (Senior Youth Nurturing in Christ), was enjoying our annual winter retreat. This is about the time when I picked up the nickname, Stretch. When I started my junior year in high school, I was 5’6″. By the end of my junior year, I had grown several inches. Somewhere along the way, someone started calling me Stretch.

High school was a stretching time for me in more ways than one. I obviously grew in size, but I was also stretched in many other facets of my life. As a preacher’s kid, I struggled to figure out my place. I was known as a goodie-goodie to many, but I was certainly not perfect. At times, I was a very obnoxious kid – just ask some of my youth leaders. As I went through high school, I began to discover an interest in leadership. This was an area where I stretched a lot taking an active role in the student leadership of our youth group and in the student government at the high school. I certainly stretched academically as I took on a full load of honors classes.

Here’s a picture of my dad and Dave Kennedy on this same youth retreat (my dad is wearing the darker shirt). My dad was the youth pastor, and Dave was one of the youth leaders. What I didn’t fully realize until recently is that my youth leaders (including my dad) were stretching too. I’m sure I helped in that matter with my own actions, attitudes, and questions, but the leaders of our youth group were more than likely stretching in many different directions themselves – raising a family, working on their marriages, growing in their careers, serving in their churches, and interacting in their neighborhoods.

And this is where I find myself today. The tables have turned. I’m a youth leader balancing work, life, and church. And I’m still stretching. I’m not growing vertically anymore, and I’m trying to prevent any horizontal growth. But I am definitely stretching in my faith, my leadership, my work, my marriage, my family, and in other ways as well. And so that nickname has stuck with me, and I suspect I will continue to stretch as life continues.

How are you stretching these days? What was your nickname in high school? How has that nickname stayed with you since then?