Stretch Quote – Stretch The Envelope (@MerleDandridge)

How To Find Ideas To Write About Every Day

If you could ask me any question, what would the question be?  In what area of my experience do you think I could help you?

In response to my question, Shawn Washburn had this to say:

As for your question, I’d probably ask you something blog-related. You’ve already been a huge help for me, have paved the way, encouraged me and given me advice and direction along the way. So, maybe something like “how do you keep coming up with new topics every day?”

I responded to Shawn in the comments with one idea, but I realized I had many other thoughts to help Shawn.  As I dug through my blog archives, I discovered I had already written a response to Shawn’s question a year ago.

Coming up with new topics and content for my blog takes discipline.  When you practice these disciplines, the ideas for your blog come with less effort.  Here’s what I had to share last September:

I’ve been at this blogging thing for over seven years now.  The first few years, I was fairly inconsistent, but now I publish at least five blog posts every week.

How do I find ideas to write about every day?

This is a question I get often from readers and fellow bloggers.  (And to be honest, this is a question I sometimes ask myself.)

Blogging takes effort, and coming up with content for my blog doesn’t happen by accident.

Today, I share my keys to consistently developing content for blogging.  After reading today’s post, I hope you’ll have some fresh ideas for developing your own blog content.  And even if you aren’t a blogger, I think these ideas may help you get a little more out of life.

9 Keys To Developing Consistent Blog Content

To read the rest of this article, click here.

How do you find ideas to write about every day?

What question(s) do you have for me about blogging, leadership, life, or anything else?

Ice Breaker – Earliest Childhood Memory

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

This week’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by a question we have been talking about in our house this past week.  It’s been interested to hear our kids responses, and I’m looking forward to reading your response.

Question:  What is your earliest childhood memory?

My Answer:  If I try to remember my early childhood, I go back to my family’s first house on Illini Drive in Carol Stream, Illinois.  We lived in this house until I was 5 years old.  I remember birthday parties, climbing the big willow tree in the backyard, climbing in the attic of the dog house, and playing with my friends, Mark and Debbie.  I remember playing my Dad’s snare drum, making blanket trains in the living room, and setting up a Matchbox car track from the living room down the hallway.  I remember our dog, Snickers, licking empty ice cream containers in the kitchen, and I remember riding my bike for the first time without training wheels.  One of my earliest childhood memories though is when my brother, David, was born and came home from the hospital.  I don’t remember any of the particulars, but I remember things changing in the house as we all adjusted to his arrival.  I would have been 2 1/2 when he was born.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

5 Fears That Can Control Your Life and How to Overcome Them

Fear is an emotion that has important survival value in our lives, preventing us from engaging in dangerous activities.  But fear can also be an obstacle to your progress, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Often, it is past events that cause fear to become ingrained.  These fears can have a detrimental effect on your life, both in how you move forward professionally and how you move forward personally in understanding and insight.

Here are a few of the most common fears and how they can take control of your life and prevent you from being the person you want to be:

5 Fears That Can Control Your Life and How to Overcome Them

1 – Fear of Disappointing Others

The expectations others have of you can create a paralyzing fear of disappointing them and cause you to continue living a life that ultimately does not benefit you.  The expectations of parents are often the most powerful influencers in our lives, but it can also be among the most destructive, if adult children don’t take control of their own destinies and be the people they want to be.  This need to continually please others often makes them feel that they are in a disguise, unable to be their true selves and too fearful to make the changes that would be best for them.

2 – Fear of Change

Fear of change is one of the most universal fears among human beings.  People learn a multitude of survival skills that help them in their environments.  The act of changing these habits often produces anxiety, and even fear, as if taking a great risk.  Patients in drug rehab learn that they must learn to overcome this visceral fear of changing their lives in order to develop new and healthier habits for recovery.  Growing comfortable with change is a critical step in gaining control of your life and making the adjustments needed to reach your goals.

3 – Fear of Social Disapproval

Fear of “what people will say” is a concern that gets to the heart of people’s identity within their families and within their communities. Social approval and disapproval can be a powerful force that keeps people in line, but it can also prevent personal growth and exploration.  Shaking off the control of social disapproval will allow you to experiment with other ways to define yourself and will give you the permission you need to change your life.

4 – Fear of Failure

Although most people think wanting to succeed is a strong drive that propels people forward, the fear of making mistakes and failing can be a crippling force that controls some individuals’ lives.  These people may never even attempt new skills or experiences for fear of falling on their faces in some way that humiliates them.  Overcoming this fear requires a great deal of self-talk and self-encouragement.  It also requires permission to make mistakes and do things badly in the beginning, allowing time to improve until they can succeed. If you are one of the individuals who cannot move forward because of fear of failure, take the time to learn ways to support yourself when moving outside your comfort zone and trying new things.  These skills can be the ticket to opening up a brand new world of experiences.

5 – Fear of Separation

The fears of separation and abandonment are deep psychological concerns that affect many individuals.  The attachments that people build over a lifetime can feel like they are indispensable to daily life.  Any changes that threaten these relationships can be seen as too dangerous to implement.  The change would leave the individual without the safety nets to which they are accustomed.  However, these relationships are more flexible and lasting than people realize, and they can withstand changes in life.  Overcoming your deepest fears about separation from your support community can help to you expand your activities and experiences, without the loss of those you most depend upon.

Confronting the fears that rule your life can be a frightening proposition.  However, it can be one of the most critical steps in allowing you the freedom to re-design your life to allow you to be your most authentic self.  Counseling can help individuals explore negative aspects of their relationships with others.   Meditation can help to soothe anxiety about change and fear of failing.  Getting out to enjoy hobbies, classes or other activities can help to strengthen relationship skills, so that you feel more confident stepping away from familiar circles.

How has fear impacted your life?  How has fear stretched you?  How have you overcome your fear?

Today’s article is a guest post by Elliot Caleira.  Elliot is a freelance writer in the self-mastery and health and wellness spaces. When he’s not writing you’ll find him cooking or teaching Portuguese classes.  Connect with Elliot on Twitter.

Read more about how to guest post on Jon Stolpe Stretched by clicking here.

Stretch Quote – Delegation (@HarveyMackay)

The Discipline Of Self Assessment – 10 Areas For Self Assessment

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.
August Wilson

As I mentioned yesterday, my basement flooded.

The first step in dealing with a flooded basement is understanding what caused the water problem.  Both of my sump pumps were working, but they obviously couldn’t keep up.  Why was water coming into the basement more quickly than it should?  The rain earlier in the day had been very heavy, but the pumps should have kept up.

When I walked around the outside of the house, I discovered that one of the downspouts at the back corner of the house was not attached correctly.  This was causing a large amount of water to flow straight into the foundation.  I fixed the downspout, but the damage was already done.

Had I walked around the house before the rainstorm, I would have noticed the problem, and I would not have been dealing with a wet basement.

As I have been reflecting on this experience, I was reminded of the importance of taking a regular inventory of our lives.  Regular self assessment gives us an opportunity to see where we are – to see what things are okay, what things could be better, what things need to change, and what things need to be removed.

By practicing the discipline of self assessment, we minimize the potential for disaster, and we maximize the potential for achieving future success.  Here are some areas where you should be conducting a regular self assessment:

10 Areas For Self Assessment

1. Personal property.  What do you own?  Car, house, computer, jewelry.  Things wear out, break down, and need maintenance.  Regularly examine your personal property to make sure it is in working order.
2. Career path.  When was the last time you updated your resume?  Are you making progress towards your career goals?  Career growth does not happen by accident.  You must be intentional if you want to move forward along your desired career path.
3. Educational pursuit.  Are you feeding mind?  And are you feeding it with the right material?  Read.  Listen.  Grow.
4. Physical fitness.  Are you being a good steward of your body?  Take time to assess your nutrition, your exercise, and your overall fitness.
5. Financial fitness.  Take time to budget.  Take time to keep track of your financial condition.  Are you on track to meet your long-term goals.  Get rid of debt in your life, and find ways to save.
6. Emotional condition.  How is your general attitude?  Are you a happy person?  Or are you a grumpy person?  Attitude often determines our altitude.  If you want to go somewhere in your life, learn how to be a positive person.
7. Relational status.  How is your marriage?  How is your relationship with your kids?  How is your relationship with your family and friends?  Relationships require effort, and they change throughout time.  For this reason, you must regularly assess these relationships.  If your marriage is going well, determine what is helping this and keep doing it.  If your marriage needs some work based on your assessment, make changes today to improve it.
8. Generosity.  Are you giving away your time, talents, and money?  Are you giving away too much or too little?  A regular assessment of your generosity will keep you on the right track to living a life that really matters.
9. Time.  Sit down with your schedule on a regular basis.  Are you building margin into your schedule?  Are you spending time on things that matter?  How are you wasting your time?  A regular assessment of your time is essential avoiding burnout and boredom.
10. Spiritual well-being.  How is your spirit?  How are you feeding your spiritual self?  How is your relationship with God?  In our busy lives, it’s too easy to let our spiritual well-being take a back seat.  When you are assessing your life, don’t forget to take an inventory on your spiritual life.

Self assessment won’t happen or be effective unless you take it seriously.  Create a routine for taking an inventory on these areas of your life.  Some things require daily assessment.  For other things you might check in weekly, monthly, seasonally, or annually.

Don’t miss out on an opportunity to prevent a flood in your basement or to prevent another kind of disaster in your life.  Decide today to practice the discipline of self assessment.

How would your world be different if you made the decision to practice the discipline of self assessment?  How has self assessment made a difference in your life?

The Blessing Of Friendship

Dear George,

Remember no man is a failure who has friends.

Thanks for the wings.

Clarence

(From one of my favorite movies – It’s A Wonderful Life)

Thursday night, I once again experienced the blessing of friendship after I received a call from my wife as I was leaving work:

“You’re not going to like this news, but the basement is full of water.”

Ice Breaker – When You Close Your Eyes

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  When you close your eyes what do you see?

My Answer:  Initially, I see darkness when I close my eyes.  Then I see the fading image of things that had been in my vision right before I close my eyes.  As time goes on, I begin to see the vision of the Mini Cooper pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot where I am writing this morning.  Then I see the rolling waves of the ocean where I spent last Saturday with my family.  And finally, I see an open road in front of me.  I have so many thoughts and images that crowd my mind, but the image of the open road reminds me of the unknown adventure that waits in front of me today, tomorrow, next week, next year, and for the rest of my life.  And this is what I see when I close my eyes.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

The Discipline Of Getting Feedback – 6 Steps For Getting The Feedback You Really Need

It’s impossible to read the label when you are inside the bottle.  You need somebody to speak into your life – someone who will read the label and tell you what is really on the inside.

Do you like getting feedback from others?

What kind of feedback do you like?

What kind of feedback do you really need?

Are you surrounding yourself with people who will tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear?

Stretching can be painful, and getting feedback from others can be a stretching experience.  And yet feedback is what we often need in order to grow – in order to recognize our gifts and shortcomings – and in order to live our life to the fullest.

With this in mind, I think it’s time we start practicing the discipline of getting feedback.

Today, I need your feedback, but first I want to give you some advice on practicing the discipline of getting feedback.  By using these six steps, you will keep stretching in a worthwhile direction.

6 Steps For Getting The Feedback You Really Need

1. Open up your mind and heart.  Do you really want to stretch and grow?  Are you really willing to listen to feedback even when it is hard to hear?  Before you even ask for feedback, you have to decide to be open to what you will hear from others.  Some feedback will be easy to hear.  And some feedback will be very difficult to process.
2. Ask people you trust.  Asking foolish people for feedback is like inviting people to throw tomatoes at you for the fun of throwing tomatoes.  But there is wisdom to be gained from those you can trust.
3. Examine the feedback.  Once you’ve received feedback from others, it’s important to evaluate the feedback.  Run it by others to see if the feedback is on target.  What feedback deserves attention, and what feedback should you ignore?
4. Filter out any off base feedback.  Once you’ve examined the feedback, get rid of the off base feedback.  Feedback that misses the mark will lead you to the wrong target if you decide to listen to it.
5. Take action on justified feedback.  Whatever is pure, trustworthy, and just deserves our attention.  Take corrective action on constructive feedback.  Continue to act on the things you are doing well, and stop doing the things you need to stop.  Make the necessary changes based on the feedback you receive (otherwise, you are wasting the time of those giving feedback).
6. Repeat the process.  Asking for feedback is not a once and done event.  Getting feedback is an endless process that should be followed again and again.  So go back to step one and start it all over.

Now that I’ve laid out these six steps for getting the feedback you really need, it’s my turn to ask for your feedback.

I’m in the process of evaluating my writing focus and I really need your help.  I am going through this exercise to help me stretch and to help others stretch.  I started this process by asking myself to write down the names of 20 people who I think could truly, genuinely benefit from what I have to say.  I filled a page in my journal with these names.  Then I spent time considering the most common questions people ask me.  Here are a few of the questions that came to my mind:

• How do you have time to do everything you do?  (And when do you sleep?)
• When are you going back to Guatemala?  (And can I come?)
• How did you and your wife raise such great kids?
• When is your next book coming out?
• How did you get into that (home-brewing, chicken-farming, blog-writing, etc.)?
• Do you have any advice for long distance running?
• How do you stay so positive all the time?
• Can you be my mentor?
• How do you stay so consistent?
• What have you done to get to where you are now (and what do I need to do to get there myself)?
• How do you live out your faith in a faithless, fallen world?

To confirm I’m on the right track (or to add to the list), I have been intentionally asking the 20 people on my life (and a few other people) to give me feedback.  I’ve been asking them this question:  “If you could ask me any question, what would the question be?  In what area of my experience do you think I could help you?”

It’s a little scary to ask these questions, but it’s an experience I need to have.  I need this feedback to make sure I am on the right track.  I need this feedback to help me see what is on the inside of my bottle.

And it’s feedback I need from you as well.  I value your feedback as a reader and participant in The Stretched Community.  And so, I leave you with this question, and I hope you will take time to leave me a comment.  I need you to help read the label on my bottle.

If you could ask me any question, what would the question be?  In what area of my experience do you think I could help you? 

Please take time to leave your response in the comments.

Stretch Quote – Great Heights (George Chapman)

Be free all worthy spirits, and STRETCH yourselves, for greatness and for height.

George Chapman

We too easily nail our feet to the floor and our butts to the couch.  We grow content with the ho-hum, everyday existence we have allowed to exist.

Getting off the couch and outside our comfort zones requires some stretching.

What are you waiting for?  How would your world be different if you STRETCHED yourself to greater heights TODAY?