The Discipline Of Going The Extra Mile – 6 Ways To Go The Extra Mile

We are in the process of college shopping with our oldest child, Hannah.  She is getting ready to start her senior year in high school, and we have spent several long weekends this summer visiting colleges.

A couple of week’s ago, we visited Grove City College which is located in Western Pennsylvania.  Hannah had an interview with the admissions department, and she met with the track and cross-country coaches.

As we were planning for this visit a few weeks prior to our trip across the state of Pennsylvania, my brother and sister-in-law reached out to us about meeting us in Grove City for the weekend.  They live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin which means they were committing to ten hours (or more) of driving each way just to spend a day or two with our family.

We reserved a couple of rooms at a hotel halfway between Grove City and Pittsburgh, and we spent time together playing games, swimming in the pool, visiting Pittsburgh, and hanging out.

They arrived late Friday night, and we left around noon on Sunday to return home.  The visit was short, but it was something I won’t forget.

My brother and his family decided to drive over twenty hours, pay for tolls, hotel, and food, and miss out on a weekend of activities at their own home just to spend time with us.  Their willingness to go the extra mile meant the world to me.

Their visit reminded me that we need to cultivate the discipline of going the extra mile.

Going the extra mile means taking the extra effort.  It means going two miles with someone when they ask you to go one mile.  Going the extra mile shows people you really care.  And it can mean the difference between good and great – in your job performance, in your extra curricular activities, and in your relationships.

If you’re having trouble getting started with this discipline, here are some ideas to help you go the extra mile:

6 Ways To Go The Extra Mile

1. Be alert and take action in your daily life.  What do you see?  What drives you crazy?  And what are you doing about it?  It drives me crazy when I see trash on the floor and when I see grumpy people in my daily life.  I have the opportunity to practice the discipline of going the extra mile when I come upon these things.  I can pick up the trash instead of waiting for someone else to take care of it.  I can take time to listen to unhappy people I encounter at work.  These simple responses are an opportunity to go the extra mile.  You have similar opportunities around you each and every day.
2. Don’t wait for the ask.  Don’t be reactive.  Become proactive.  As you practice this discipline, it will become more and more natural.  You won’t need the prodding of others to get you started.
3. Don’t look for accolades.  We give GEMs at our office for people who have “gone the extra mile.”  These awards are away to say thank you, and they are great.  But our motive for going the extra mile should not be about being recognized or about receiving an award.  The discipline of going the extra mile is about doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
4. Find ways to put a special touch on it.  Be creative.  The discipline of going the extra mile may require some mental and physical energy.  Leave tips.  Find creative ways to say thank you.  Make others feel valued.  By going the extra mile, you have the opportunity to help others know they are special.
5. Partner with others.  The discipline of going the extra mile is always better when you practice it with others.  By inviting others to join you in this discipline, you will have the opportunity to encourage each other and hold each other accountable.  I meet with a group of men every week in hopes that they will spur me on to go the extra mile.
6. Make the sacrifice.  If you really take this discipline seriously, you will have to sacrifice your time, your energy, and your resources.  When you go the extra mile, you will discover that the sacrifice is worth it.

When was the last time you observed someone going the extra mile?

How would your world be different if you made the decision to practice the discipline of going the extra mile?  How has going the extra mile made a difference in your life?

Ice Breaker – Something New

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  When was the last time you tried something new?

My Answer:  I’m not one to try too many new things.  I like the same old, same old.  I don’t like change.  So trying something new requires a bit of courage for me to get outside my comfort zone.  The last time I tried something new was Wednesday afternoon.  I usually travel home the same way Western Pennsylvania which is where my wife was born.  We were in Latrobe, PA for a funeral (see yesterday’s post), and I took a different way home for the first hour plus of the trip.  It was nice to see new scenery and to enjoy the rolling hills along the back country road.  Maybe trying something new from time to time isn’t such a bad thing.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

How To Explain Death To Your Children

Parenting isn’t easy.

It’s especially challenging when you have to explain death to your children.

Sunday morning, we received the unexpected news that one of Leanne’s good high school friends had passed away following her battle with breast cancer.  Tuesday afternoon, we drove to Latrobe, PA for the viewing, and we drove home Wednesday afternoon after the funeral service and some time with friends.

Leanne’s friend was only 41 years old, and she left behind her husband and three elementary aged children.

It seems like such a young ago to die.

As we were leaving the viewing on Tuesday evening, we ran into some old friends.  As we stood outside the funeral home catching up, someone asked “If you were her husband, how would you explain this death to your kids?”

Leanne and I talked about this question later on, and here are some of my thoughts:

Death stinks, and it doesn’t seem to make sense that life would end so early for such a nice person.

Losing your mother doesn’t at all seem fair.  And cancer sucks.

The reality is we are all going to die some day.  We don’t know when it will be.  We hope for a long and fulfilling life, but sometimes things happen which lead to a shorter life than we expected for us or for our loved ones.

Since we don’t know when our time on this earth will come to an end, it’s important we make the most of every opportunity to live, to love, and to laugh.

It’s also important that we make our relationships a priority especially our relationships with family members and with Jesus Christ.

As long as we are following Jesus, we don’t need to fear death.  He has promised us a place in heaven if we follow him.

Your mother loved you and she loved Jesus, and I believe she is in heaven where she doesn’t have to deal with cancer any more. 

We will miss her. 

She wants you to be happy, and she wants you to know you are loved.  Remember her smiles.  Remember her hugs.  And remember the way she loved.

As I observed her husband at the viewing and at the funeral, it looks like he is doing an incredible job speaking into the lives of his children.

Please pray for him and his three young children over the next days, weeks, and months as they navigate life without their wife and mother.

How would you answer the question?  (If you were her husband, how would you explain this death to your kids?)

(To read more about Leanne’s friend, click here.)

Stretch Quotes – Goals (Mary Kay Ash)

Success Tomorrow Starts With Greatness Today

If you want to succeed at the next level, concentrate on being great right where you are right now.

Have you ever wanted to make it to the next level?  Have you ever dreamed about a big promotion?  Have you ever put all your focus on the next big achievement?

I think it’s good to have big dreams, big goals, and big aspirations.

These kinds of desires can be the fuel we need when we feel stuck in the here and now.

Here’s the problem:

Sometimes we let our desires for the future take over in a way that we forget the present.  We forget the importance of making the most of today’s opportunities.  We fail to understand that today matters.

If you want to succeed at the next level, don’t you think your performance right here and right now matters?

Don’t get too far ahead of yourself.

Be the best you today, and tomorrow will take care of itself.

What are you doing to be great right where you are?

Drive Like Your Kids Live Here

Drive like your kids live here.

Last week, I was driving through the town of Macungie, PA on my way from one job site to another when I saw this sign in someone’s yard.

Drive like your kids live here.  Obviously, the homeowner is trying to tell travelers to slow down and to drive safely as they pass through their community.  I’m pretty sure I was driving safely, but it was a good reminder.  When I drive am I thinking about others around me?  Am I driving like my kids could be playing nearby?

Several years ago, my company conducted customer focused training where we learned tips and tricks for satisfying and winning over our customers.  Part of this training stuck in my head:  Talk to your customers as if you were talking to your Grandmother.  I’m not sure that either of my grandmothers cared much about building automation, but I know they both expected to be treated with respect.  And this is how I should be treating my customers.

How would your life be different if you started acting and speaking as if your kids or your grandparents were sitting next to you?

Would you treat people with more respect?  Would you be more alert to follow the rules?  Would you remove a few choice words from your vocabulary?

Sometimes I think we need this kind of recalibration in our lives.

Now I want to take this a little bit further.

How would our driving change if we knew Jesus were sitting by our side?  How would we talk to our customers if we knew Jesus were listening into our conversations?  How would we relate to our children, our spouse, and our parents if we remembered that Jesus was there to observe?

My daily prayer is this:  Lord, help me represent you well in everything I do today.

I challenge you to start your day with this prayer and remember God’s presence in your life.

And the next time you drive through Macungie, PA, drive like Jesus lives there.

Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Ice Breaker – I Didn’t Do It!

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  What is something you’ve never done that you think everyone else has done?

My Answer:  I’ve never seen Gone With The Wind.  I’ve never been to Waffle House.  And I’ve never been able to water ski successfully.

Today’s question made me think of the Veggie Tales’ song, We Are The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.  As you consider your answer to today’s question, enjoy some comic relief from Bob the Tomato, Larry the Cucumber, and the rest of the veggies.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

Stretch Quote – Open Arms (Blaise Pascal)

My Last Five Podcasts

Podcasting has become the latest addition to the social media world.  More and more podcasts are popping up every day.  People I consider to be friends are jumping into the game with their own podcasts.  And I find myself listening to podcasts on my morning walk, during my commute to and from work, and while I’m working out at the gym.  There is a vast amount of knowledge and wisdom floating around in the podcasting world, and it sometimes seems like I cannot get enough.

If you are like me, you are always looking for new podcasts.  Today’s post is an opportunity to share the last five podcasts I listened to on my iPhone.  And I hope it’s an opportunity for others to share the podcasts getting their attention these days.

Which five podcasts did you listen to most recently?

Here’s my list.

My Last Five Podcasts

(1)  ProBlogger Podcast: Blog Tips to Help You Make Money Blogging with Darren Rowse

(2)  The Dave Ramsey Show

(3)  Organize 365 Podcast

(4)  1 Year Daily Audio Bible with Brian Hardin

(5)  How Did You Get Into That?  with Grant Baldwin

Answer today’s question in the comments (and please feel free to leave links).

Reflections Of A Father Who Is Getting Ready To Send His Daughter Away To College

When I was looking at colleges, my Dad drove me out to Grove City College for a campus visit and an admissions interview.  I had never heard of the school before, but my Dad encouraged me to check it out based on a scholarship opportunity through the Presbyterian Church.  I remember pulling up in front of Crawford Hall one summer afternoon.  This is the first building most visiting high school students see when they come on campus, and it’s where potential students meet with admissions staff.

I remember meeting with my admissions counselor while my Dad waiting in the waiting room.  While I was being interviewed, my Dad was paging through the information about the college, and he discovered a name from his college days at Bethel College in Minnesota.  One of his English professors and her husband were now on staff at Grove City College.  And at the end of my interview, Dr. Arnie Sodergren and my Dad came into my interview.  I don’t remember all the details, but it seemed like it was more of an opportunity for my Dad and Dr. Sodergren to catch up then it was for my Dad to ask questions about the college.

Afterwards, we toured the campus and started our journey back across Pennsylvania to our home in New Jersey.

When I became a student at Grove City College, I always felt a connection when I ran across the Sodergrens in Rockwell Hall, Buhl Library, or somewhere else on campus.  They always asked about my family.

Fast forward twenty-five years (or so).

On Friday, we took Hannah, our oldest child, to Grove City College for a campus tour, her interview, and a chance to meet the cross-country and track coaches.  We arrived on campus early, so we decided to take our own walking tour.  We walked through the new Student Union and Pew Fine Arts Building before we headed back to Crawford Hall.  As we were walking past Rockwell Hall, I noticed a familiar face – Dr. Sodergren.

I called out his name, and he stopped to chat for a few minutes.  Of course, he asked how my parents were doing.  And I learned that he retired four years ago, but he still comes back to campus to do independent research.  He seemed happy to be retired, and he seemed happy to still have involvement in the Grove City College community.

The rest of the day was great.  Hannah had her interview, and we met with the coaches who spent a good deal of time with us.  We met a friend for lunch in town before coming back to campus for our tour.

I’m not sure where Hannah will end up going to college.  She has narrowed her list to three schools that all have their benefits.  We are trying to keep an open mind without pushing her to hard towards our college.

The year ahead will be an adventure for sure.  Hannah will complete her college applications.  We will decide on a college.  She will graduate high school, and we will send her on to the next stage in her educational career.  This stage of our parenting lives has come along very quickly.  It seems like yesterday when we watched her board the yellow school bus in front of our house for her first day of first grade.  Now, she jumps into her little yellow Chevy Aveo on her way to cross-country practice, her job at Chick-Fil-A, or to youth group at our church.

As we enter this final year of high school for our “little” girl who is quickly growing up into a beautiful young lady, we will do our best to make the most of every opportunity.  We will celebrate the accomplishments.  We will grieve the rapid passing of time.  And we will embrace a bright, unknown future.

What do you remember about visiting your college for the first time?  How are you preparing your kids to launch to the next stage of their lives?