5 Fears That Can Control Your Life and How to Overcome Them

Fear is an emotion that has important survival value in our lives, preventing us from engaging in dangerous activities.  But fear can also be an obstacle to your progress, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Often, it is past events that cause fear to become ingrained.  These fears can have a detrimental effect on your life, both in how you move forward professionally and how you move forward personally in understanding and insight.

Here are a few of the most common fears and how they can take control of your life and prevent you from being the person you want to be:

5 Fears That Can Control Your Life and How to Overcome Them

1 – Fear of Disappointing Others

The expectations others have of you can create a paralyzing fear of disappointing them and cause you to continue living a life that ultimately does not benefit you.  The expectations of parents are often the most powerful influencers in our lives, but it can also be among the most destructive, if adult children don’t take control of their own destinies and be the people they want to be.  This need to continually please others often makes them feel that they are in a disguise, unable to be their true selves and too fearful to make the changes that would be best for them.

2 – Fear of Change

Fear of change is one of the most universal fears among human beings.  People learn a multitude of survival skills that help them in their environments.  The act of changing these habits often produces anxiety, and even fear, as if taking a great risk.  Patients in drug rehab learn that they must learn to overcome this visceral fear of changing their lives in order to develop new and healthier habits for recovery.  Growing comfortable with change is a critical step in gaining control of your life and making the adjustments needed to reach your goals.

3 – Fear of Social Disapproval

Fear of “what people will say” is a concern that gets to the heart of people’s identity within their families and within their communities. Social approval and disapproval can be a powerful force that keeps people in line, but it can also prevent personal growth and exploration.  Shaking off the control of social disapproval will allow you to experiment with other ways to define yourself and will give you the permission you need to change your life.

4 – Fear of Failure

Although most people think wanting to succeed is a strong drive that propels people forward, the fear of making mistakes and failing can be a crippling force that controls some individuals’ lives.  These people may never even attempt new skills or experiences for fear of falling on their faces in some way that humiliates them.  Overcoming this fear requires a great deal of self-talk and self-encouragement.  It also requires permission to make mistakes and do things badly in the beginning, allowing time to improve until they can succeed. If you are one of the individuals who cannot move forward because of fear of failure, take the time to learn ways to support yourself when moving outside your comfort zone and trying new things.  These skills can be the ticket to opening up a brand new world of experiences.

5 – Fear of Separation

The fears of separation and abandonment are deep psychological concerns that affect many individuals.  The attachments that people build over a lifetime can feel like they are indispensable to daily life.  Any changes that threaten these relationships can be seen as too dangerous to implement.  The change would leave the individual without the safety nets to which they are accustomed.  However, these relationships are more flexible and lasting than people realize, and they can withstand changes in life.  Overcoming your deepest fears about separation from your support community can help to you expand your activities and experiences, without the loss of those you most depend upon.

Confronting the fears that rule your life can be a frightening proposition.  However, it can be one of the most critical steps in allowing you the freedom to re-design your life to allow you to be your most authentic self.  Counseling can help individuals explore negative aspects of their relationships with others.   Meditation can help to soothe anxiety about change and fear of failing.  Getting out to enjoy hobbies, classes or other activities can help to strengthen relationship skills, so that you feel more confident stepping away from familiar circles.

How has fear impacted your life?  How has fear stretched you?  How have you overcome your fear?

Today’s article is a guest post by Elliot Caleira.  Elliot is a freelance writer in the self-mastery and health and wellness spaces. When he’s not writing you’ll find him cooking or teaching Portuguese classes.  Connect with Elliot on Twitter.

Read more about how to guest post on Jon Stolpe Stretched by clicking here.