The Discipline of Asking Questions

What Are You Pursuing?

When I looked it up on Google, this is what I found:

Pursuit is “the action of following or pursuing someone or something.”

Synonyms include:  striving toward, quest after/for, search for

What are you pursuing?

Better yet, are you pursuing anything?

People pursue happiness, success, and wealth.  They pursue the American Dream.  Or they pursue inner peace.  Are these the right things to pursue?  I suppose you could argue either way.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a note to myself in my journal:

“Am I pursuing safety, or am I willing to take risks and to be dangerous to live a life that matters?”

If I’m honest, I pursue safety, and this has been my pursuit most of my life.

When I was a little kid, I was the cautious one.  My brother and my best friend (both named David) were the adventurous ones.  They were willing to go off the high dive.  They were willing to swim to the bottom of the pool.  They weren’t afraid to do anything.  Me on the other hand, I was chicken.  I remember crying when my swim teacher tried to get me to go off the low diving board.  I was absolutely terrified I would drown in the deep end of the swimming pool.

Sometimes I wonder if my childhood tendencies to avoid danger traveled with me down the road into adulthood.

I still seek the safe choice more often than I take a chance on doing something that might be dangerous.

I pick the safe choice when it comes to my investments, my career steps, and in other areas of my life.

Am I missing out because of this tendency – this desire – to stay safe?

I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life that matters.  I want to make a difference, and I want to bring glory to God by the choices I make and the actions I take each and every day.

On this day when we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King Jr., I thinks it’s safe to say that MLK did not pursue safety, and he lived a life that matters.

The only place we will really find safety is when we are in the arms of God and when we are following Him.

Chuck Swindoll said it well, “The world has changed and it’s going to keep changing, but God never changes; so we are safe when we cling to Him.”

Finding safety in God doesn’t mean we were meant to avoid taking risks.  In fact, I think there is a certain aspect to risk taking that gives us the opportunity to fulfill our purpose.  I’ve mentioned it here before, and it’s worth mentioning again.  Several years ago, sociologist Tony Campolo responded to a survey taken by people in their nineties.  Campolo concluded that the survey respondents which they had taken time to reflect more, to risk more, and to take actions that would leave a legacy.

I’m not in my nineties yet.  There is still time for me to live differently.  I want to make a difference even if it means doing something a little dangerous.

In his commencement speech to the class of 2014 at Maharishi University of Management, Jim Carrey challenged graduates to take a risk:

“Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about your pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here, and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.

So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying, I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it — please! (applause) And if it doesn’t happen for you right away, it’s only because the universe is so busy fulfilling my order. It’s party size! (laughter)

My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive.

I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

I love these words.  If you’re like me, your fear of failure is keeping you on the safe path.  Perhaps, it’s time to take a leap of faith so you can do something that matters.

(One thing worth noting, pursuit implies going after something or someone with all you have.  Whatever you are pursuing won’t just be handed to you.  You have to go get it!)

Are you missing out on something because your pursuit is too safe?  What can you do about it today?

Don’t forget to sign-up for the 7 Week Stretch Challenge.  You can sign up right here:

Who Wants to Make a Difference? #YourLifeMatters

Winston Churchill said, late in his life, that he had always “wanted to make a difference” in the world. Any student of history would have to say that Winston Churchill made a difference. He kept the free world from folding as England resisted the determined aggression of Germany in World War II. He buoyed the spirits of the English people at a time when rational thought would have concluded it was time to give up. He became, as much as anyone, the symbol of our refusal to let freedom be traded for fascism.

The interesting thing is, almost everyone has a desire to make a difference in the world. Even when it has not surfaced in that formulation, no one wants to see their life as “meaningless.” On the one hand, it seems so futile to live and die without impact. One the other hand, it changes the very nature of our life to be involved in something of transcendent value.

There are nearly as many ways to make a difference as there are people in the world. We certainly don’t have to make a difference in the same way our neighbor does, or our brother, or our best friend from high school. How we choose to make a difference has a great deal to do with where our most important priorities lie.

There is a couple living in my home town who discovered they would not be able to have children. But they wanted to make a difference in the lives of children. There were a lot of things they could have done to achieve that goal. They chose to adopt an orphan from Viet Nam, left homeless at the end of that tragic war. Then they adopted a child from Korea. Then one from Brazil. And so on. At this point, they are past retirement age, and still have teenagers in their home. They have adopted 21 children, many from desperate situations in foreign countries.   Their choices have brought them great pain and great joy. However, no matter how you view the situation, it is clear that they have made a huge difference in the world, especially to those 21 children.

Your efforts don’t have to be heroic to bring you happiness. Sometime simply helping the elderly in your area have companionship they would otherwise lack will do the trick. Or you may find satisfaction in the Big Brother program, or in helping bring cultural experiences to youth who would otherwise never experience them. Or you may make a difference by helping your neighborhood come together in friendship and uplifting association.

How do you know you are making a difference? Other than the obvious fruits of your efforts, you know because you are happier when it happens. You spend less time dwelling on what you lack, and more time enjoying what you do. There is no single secret to happiness in this life. But I am assured that whatever formula you suggest will have “making a difference” as an integral part. It changes an existence into a life.

*****

Hyrum Smith is a distinguished author, speaker, and businessman. He is the co-founder and former CEO of FranklinCovey®. For three decades, he has empowered people to effectively govern their personal and professional lives. Hyrum’s books and presentations have been acclaimed by American and international audiences. He combines wit and enthusiasm with a gift for communicating compelling principles that incite lasting personal change. You can visit him on the web at www.3gaps.com.

You can read my review of Hyrum’s new book by clicking here.

Do you want to make a difference?  What are you doing about this desire?

The 7 Week STRETCH Challenge

Thanks for being part of the Stretched Community, and for reading the regular posts at Jon Stolpe Stretched.

You may have noticed a few less posts here last week.  I’ve been busy working on something special, and I can’t wait to tell you about it!

Today, I’m excited to announce something special – The 7 Week STRETCH Challenge!

The 7 Week STRETCH Challenge is designed to help you STRETCH to the next level.  By signing up for the challenge today, you will get:

• An exclusive email in your in-box once a week.  The email will give you practical advice to help you stretch and will give you an important action step for the week.
• An invitation to join a closed Facebook group only for those going through the Challenge.
• A special opportunity to help me with a special project (more on that to follow at the end of the Challenge).

To sign-up for this Challenge, you simply need to sign up below.

What are you waiting for?

Sign-up for the 7 Week STRETCH Challenge today!

7 Week STRETCH Challenge Sign-up Form

(Can I ask you to do me a big favor?  I know you have friends, family, and co-workers who would benefit from the 7 Week STRETCH Challenge.  Tell them to sign-up at http://www.jonstolpe.com/7weekstretch/.  Thanks!)

Book Review: The 3 Gaps – Are You Making a Difference? by @HyrumWSmith

Gaps in our lives drain the power needed to make a positive difference in the world.

Hyrum W. Smith

The 3 Gaps: Are You Making a Difference? by Hyrum W. Smith officially releases today (January 11, 2016).  I received a preview copy of this book courtesy of Becky Robinson at Weaving Influence.

I took time to read this book between Christmas and New Years, and it provided a few great insights and ideas for me to pursue as I seek to clarify my beliefs, values, and priorities.

While I’m still wrestling with Smith’s assertion that the pursuit of personal inner peace is the ultimate goal of man.  I deeply agree with the thought that we can make a big difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us by clarifying our beliefs, by confirming our governing values, and by intentionally managing our time.

The 3 Gaps: Are You Making a Difference?is a quick read that will challenge readers to fill the gaps they may have in their beliefs, values, and time.  Personally, I was challenged after reading The 3 Gaps to write my own personal constitution, to define my governing values, and to practice the discipline of daily planning.  If you are looking for a book with practical advice to help you stretch, you should consider picking up a copy of this book.

What are the biggest challenges you are currently facing when it comes to your beliefs, your values, and your time?  Share your thoughts in the comments.

(Please note:  I received a copy of The 3 Gaps: Are You Making a Difference? for free as a gift from Becky Robinson at Weaving Influence.  I was not required to provide a favorable review.  I believe this book can be a helpful tool for being more intentional with your life.

Also to note:  There are affiliate links in this post.  Should you purchase The 3 Gaps: Are You Making a Difference? by clicking one of these links, I receive a small percentage of the purchase.  These funds are used to support The Stretched Blog and to extend ministry and missions to Guatemala.  Thank you!)

How I Plan To Hit My Targets This Year

I have big plans for 2016.

I have a lot on my list of things to do, and it seems like my schedule is packed.

How will I get it all done?

I had the privilege of meeting with a coach last week, and we talked about the challenge of trying to fit it all into the time I have this year.

We all have the same amount of time.  We have 24 hours in a day.  We have 168 hours in a week.  We have 52 weeks in a year.  And this is the same for everyone.  President Obama has this amount of time.  Bill Gates has this amount of time.  You have this amount of time.  And I have this amount of time.

With this time we have choices to make.  How will we use the time?  What will stay in our schedules?  What will we remove from our schedules?

Reaching your targets for 2016 requires you to make choices.

And this is true for me.

As I said before, I have big plans for 2016, and this means I have some choices to make.

For most of last year, I posted here 5 days a week.  I felt like I needed to be consistent by posting every day Monday through Friday.  This was good, but I only have a limited amount of time to write (and to do other things).  Writing has become an important part of my life.  I have some specific goals related to my writing that I want to achieve this year, but I won’t be able to meet these targets without making some changes.

With this in mind, you may see some changes to my posting patterns over the next few months.  I will still post here regularly, but I will also be using some of my writing time to go after some other things (more on that to follow).

I’m learning that sometimes less is required for more.  And maybe this is what you need to come to terms with this year.

What changes do you need to make to your schedule and your current commitments in order to reach your goals this year?

Top 10 STRETCHED Posts for December 2015

Here are the top posts from last month:

1. 8 Things You Need To Know About A Negative Attitude
2. 8 Things You Need To Know About A Positive Attitude
3. 5 Ways To Represent Well
4. Staying On Track In Between The Check-In Points
5. How To Set Right-Sized Goals
6. Merry Christmas
7. 10 Ways to Develop a Positive Attitude
8. Can Johnny Come Out And Play?
9. Ice Breaker – Ideal Vacation / Holiday
10. 5 Lessons I Learned By Studying The Life of Joshua

Which post was your favorite?  What STRETCHED you the most in December?

If you are a blogger, what was your top post last month?  Please feel free to share links.

STRETCH into the new year!

https://www.facebook.com/jonstolpe/videos/10208587439793729/

How To Set Right-Sized Goals

If your goals don’t scare you, you aren’t thinking big enough.

Michael Hyatt

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

H. Jackson Brown

The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.

Jim Rohn

Like many of you, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my goals for 2016 and my dreams for the future.  I’m thinking about where I want to be this time next year.  I’m thinking about various aspects of my life where I want to focus – family, finances, faith, fitness, career, etc.  And I’m taking time to write things down.  Sometimes I wonder if my goals and dreams are the right size.

Are your dreams big enough?

Are you setting goals that will stretch you to become a better person and accomplish more in 2016?

I think many of us fall into the trap of being too safe.  We are too timid with the plans we make for ourselves.  We must learn to be courageous dreamers.

I’m all about setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-sensitive), but I think we too often underestimate what is attainable and realistic.

As you ponder your goals and dreams for the future, I challenge you to look at these two verses:

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  2 Timothy 1:7

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

Finally, don’t underestimate the importance of prayer in laying out your plans.  Without God, our plans will ultimately fail.

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

How do you know your goals and dreams are the right size?

For excellent reading on goal-setting, check out these articles:

• The Beginner’s Guide to Goal Setting by Michael Hyatt
• Goal Setting:  How to Make 2013 Your Best Year Yet by Doug Smith
• The Dreamer’s Pain by Jon Stallings
• How To Create a Personal Growth Plan for 2016 by Kent Sanders

Best of 2015

1. Experience The Supernatural

   When I was a child, I watched cartoons.  One of my favorite cartoons was Super Friends.  I liked watching the superheroes from the Hall of Justice work together with their different superpowers to fight evil.  My favorite character was Superman.  He was the leader of the Justice League, and his supernatural powers were pretty cool to a young kid.

   Of all Superman’s superpowers, I always wanted to fly.  I can remember running down the hallway of my parents house from my bedroom into the living room.  Several feet from the couch, I would leap into the air towards the couch.  While I’m sure this wasn’t the greatest things for the springs on the couch, it was a fantastic experience for me.  For a very brief second, it felt like I was flying.

   Today, the television and movie screens are filled with stories of the supernatural.  People are attracted to the supernatural.  They find ways to experience the supernatural through these movies and television shows.

   What if I told you there was another way to experience the supernatural?  (Click here to read the rest.)
   

2. 5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

   This post is stupid.

   Wait!

   What I mean, this post is all about how to respond when our words or actions are stupid.

   We all do stupid things.

   We do things we regret – things we’d like to take back.

   We have all said something dumb.  Once we say it, we want to catch our words and stuff them back into our mouths.

   We’ve even done something really ugly.  We’d like to go back in time and delete a scene from our life reel.  But it’s not that easy.  (Click here to read the rest.)

3. In Response To The SCOTUS Decision On Same-Sex Marriage

   Stretch.  This is what I’ve been doing lately.

   I told Leanne on Friday night that I might be done with Facebook for a while.

   After Friday’s Supreme Court decision regarding same-sex marriage, Facebook blew up.  I have friends and family on both sides of the issue.  Some of the comments and headlines I read were well thought out and constructive, but generally speaking the tone seemed disrespectful and hopeless.  The name calling nearly put me over the edge.  In one of the comment threads someone referred to someone as a “F@#$ing Idiot.”

   Many comments were made by people who would call themselves Christians.  This is what pains me.  (Click here to read the rest.)

4. September 2014 – Top Posts & Commenters PLUS BOOK GIVEAWAY(Click here to read the post.)

5. Redefine Rich

   What does it mean to be rich?

   Matt Ham is on a quest to redefine rich.  He writes about it on his blog.  He talks about it on his podcast.  And he’s getting ready to release a book designed to help you think differently about what it means to be rich.

   I’m excited to share some special news from Matt Ham’s world.  He recently released a podcast interview with me.

   I’m so thankful for the opportunity to speak with Matt.  I think our conversation will challenge listeners.  And I think you’ll like it.  (Click here to read the rest.)

6. 3 Steps To Take Before You Can Serve Effectively

   In order to serve effectively, we must first seek out reconciliation.

   A mission mindset cannot be fully realized without our initial conviction and action toward reconciliation.

   Our service for God and for others is misaligned if we have unresolved conviction in our path.

   Before stepping into the mission field, we must look inside ourselves.  We must have a desire for a clean heart.  (Click here to read the rest.)

7. 5 Ways To Represent Well

   Our office received a phone call yesterday from an upset woman.  She was calling to complain about the behavior of one of our employees who was driving one of our company vans.  She wrote down the phone number and van number, and she called in to voice her complaint.

   When I received the news, I naturally called my employee to get his side of the story.  After listening to his story, I spoke with him about the importance of representing our company well.  After all, he was driving around in a mobile billboard – a van with our company’s logo plastered in huge letters across the side of his van.

   We all are representing something or someone.  (Click here to read the rest.)
   

8. No Excuses!

   If God is calling you, you must go.

   We make up so many excuses.  “I have this activity planned.”  “I can’t miss this or that.”  The reality is this:  our priorities are out of whack!  (Yes, “out of whack” is a theological term.)

   Having a mission mindset requires us to respond to the urgency of God’s call.  We must learn to deal with our perceived “inconvenience.”  And we must understand that following through with a mission mindset requires sacrifice.  (Click here to read the rest.)

9. Ice Breaker – Homecoming

   When was the last time you celebrated a homecoming? (Click here to read the rest.)
   

10. How To Explain Death To Your Children

    Sunday morning, we received the unexpected news that one of Leanne’s good high school friends had passed away following her battle with breast cancer.  Tuesday afternoon, we drove to Latrobe, PA for the viewing, and we drove home Wednesday afternoon after the funeral service and some time with friends.

    Leanne’s friend was only 41 years old, and she left behind her husband and three elementary aged children.

    It seems like such a young ago to die.

    As we were leaving the viewing on Tuesday evening, we ran into some old friends.  As we stood outside the funeral home catching up, someone asked “If you were her husband, how would you explain this death to your kids?” (Click here to read the rest.)
    

What was your favorite post from 2015 at Jon Stolpe Stretched?