I want to influence culture instead of letting culture influence me. Despite this intent, I’ve learned that I can’t live my life with blinders. While I want to be influential, I need to be open to how I might be STRETCHED by the world around me – and that includes the culture.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
This week, I was folding laundry while Leanne was working on grad school homework. While I was folding clothes and sorting socks, I turned on a new NBC television show, New Amsterdam. In the show (inspired by a true story), Dr. Max Goodwin (played by Ryan Eggold) takes over New Amsterdam, a not-for-profit hospital in New York City. Dr. Goodwin introduces himself to the hospital staff by asking a simple question: “How can I help?”
The rest of this episode (Pilot) introduces viewers to various characters and their stories while watching Dr. Goodwin repeatedly ask this question.
Believe it or not, this time of multi-tasking (folding laundry and watching television) had a profound impact on me.
I’ve always tried to be helpful – especially as a leader. But if I’m honest (which I try to be), I don’t always think about what others need. I don’t always ask how I can help. I sometimes become self-absorbed caught up in my own list of things I want to accomplish or attend to each day. I miss out on the real needs of my team members.
This is not good, and it’s not the way I want to lead.
I want to have a “How can I help” mindset.
On Friday at the office, I repeatedly asked this question as I interacted with my co-workers and customers. It was refreshing. I felt a renewed sense of connection with my job, my team, and my mission. I rediscovered a new passion for my role as a leader in my organization.
As you head into the work week, I challenge you to ask this question at least once a day. And when you ask how you can help be sure to listen to the response. Then go do what you can do to help.
Leave your response below (or feel free to reach out to me privately). I’d love to help you!
I have the opportunity to interview many young engineers, HVAC technicians, and project managers. After listening to their stories and their explanations for why they are the best for the job, I ask them if I can give them a few suggestions for getting ahead whether or not they join my team.
If they say “Yes” to my question, I tell them these three pieces of advice:
Too often people are too pround to ask for the help they need to get ahead. They don’t want to appear as if they don’t know what they are doing. Humility is necessary if you want to get ahead.
”How can I do this better the next time?” This is a great way to learn more for your future endeavors, and it’s a great way to establish a connection with someone. When you ask for feedback, you demonstrate a curiousity that is sure to produce results (as long as you follow through on the feedback you get).
Don’t wait around for someone to give you another project or task. Be proactive. A hungry spirit will give you opportunity beyond your wildest dreams.
These are the questions I have used to grow (or STRETCH as I like to say) in my career. It’s not rocket science, but you’re sure to launch your career and your life when you incorporate these three questions into your regular routine.
To get you up to speed without all the details, Bill Hybels, who started Willow Creek Community Church and led it to become one of the biggest mega-churches in the United States, retired “early” a few months ago following growing allegations of sexual misconduct, affairs, and mistreatment of women.
When reports initially surfaced several months ago, the leadership at Willow protected Hybels (and themselves) while discounting the accounts of several women who accused Hybels of inappropriate actions.
Over the past week in the wake of a tenth woman coming forward with specific details of Hybels’ misconduct the elders and lead pastors at Willow resigned finally apologizing to the women who had been hurt by Hybels (and the board’s previous discredit of their testimony) and to the congregation for poor leadership and even misleading. And they called on Hybels to apologize and state the truth about the accusations.
While we were on vacation, we ran into a couple who go to Willow Creek Community Church. When we spoke to them early in the week, the elder board resignation had not yet happened. It was interesting for me to listen to them as they blamed the women (Nancy Beach and Nancy Ortberg in particular) for the recent problems at Willow. They seemed to have the same mindset of the board prior to their resignation. (We did not see them again, so I don’t know if their perspective changed following Wednesday night’s resignations.)
On the way home from Arizona yesterday, we “ran” into famous baseball pitcher, Randy Johnson, at the Phoenix airport. (I actually spotted him from across the security check-in area. I’m pretty sure he didn’t see me.) It’s easy to get excited when we run into someone we consider famous like Randy Johnson, Lynn Swan, and even Bill Hybels (these are some of the “famous” people with whom I’ve crossed paths).
I’ve had the opportunity to hear Bill Hybels preach and speak in person, and I’ve been to Willow Creek several times for small group leadership conferences. I’ve also read a couple of books by Bill Hybels. Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Community Church have had a profound impact on many, many people. Thousands of people have been introduced to Jesus as a result of Hybels and Willow. And Willow Creek as been a model for many, many churches across the country and around the world.
This is good on one hand, but it is also scary on the other hand.
I don’t write about these kinds of topics very often. I honestly am afraid to say something stupid (maybe I already have in this post). But I’m supposed to be stretching myself and others, so I think it’s important for me to explore my thoughts on topics like this from time to time.
Here are a few things that scare me and/or stretch me about the Bill Hybels/Willow Creek Community Church situation:
I’m not an expert by any “stretch”. I don’t know the intimate details surrounding the Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Community Church situation. I’ve read some of the news articles and opinion pieces (New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Relevant Magazine). I’d encourage you to read for yourself and STRETCH yourself to think about how you can and should respond. I’d also encourage you to watch this video of Willow Creek Elder Missy Rasmussen: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/100031181-132.html.
Stretching is not just about growing our brains by filling them with more information. Stretching is about challenging our minds and hearts and about taking actions that take us out of our comfort zones. Stretching also happens when we pray. I’d encourage you to pray for Bill Hybels, Hybels’ family, Willow Creek Community Church, and the women and their families who have been impacted by this situation. I believe God works in the midst of our messiness, and I believe God will work in this situation.
If you are a pastor or are in church leadership, I’d encourage you to talk about this. Even if your church or ministry is in a healthy place right now, you can learn and grow.
I certainly don’t have all the answers related to this situation. I’d love to read your thoughts. I’d encourage you in your thoughts and comments to seek to be productive and healing. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Here’s my talk for today’s presentation at the NSPE (National Society of Professional Engineers) Annual Conference:
When an optimist looks at a half-filled glass, he sees the glass half full. When a pessimist looks at the same glass, he sees the glass half empty. When an engineer looks at the same glass, he sees the glass as being twice as big as it needs to be.
As engineers, we look at the world through a different set of lenses than the rest of the world. Engineers want to get to the bottom of how things work. They tend to be technical in nature. While the rest of the world may see us as robots, we are more than mechanical devices going through the motions.
Engineers are people too!
For the next 50 minutes, I want to help you better manage the engineers who work for you.
Here’s our agenda for our time together.
First, we’ll look in the mirror to get a better understanding of who we are.
Next, we’ll spend some time talking about how you can get to know your team members better.
I’ll give you some tips for managing performance for your direct reports, and I’ll give you a powerful tool for managing your team members.
We’ll spend some time helping our team members develop a plan for their future.
And we’ll finish our time together brainstorming ways to encourage your team of engineers to be innovative.
Before we get started, I wanted to share a few things about me. I graduated from Grove City College in 1994 with a degree in mechanical engineering. After graduating, I worked for a small building automation company in north Jersey and Manhattan as a project engineer. During my year and a half with the company, I installed building automation systems on the top ten floors of Rockefeller Center and the Liz Claiborne World Headquarters. I moved to Landis and Gyr Powers which eventually became Siemens Building Technologies where I have been for over 21 years. I started as a project engineer and became a project manager which gave me opportunities to work on projects all over the Greater Philadelphia area. In 2000, I went back to school to work on my MBA at Penn State University. For the past 10 years, I’ve been an operations manager. I lead a team of engineers, project managers, technicians, and installers. And I love my job!
I’m married with two teenagers. And I have a passion for personal growth, leadership development, writing, and speaking. I’m excited to be here today to share some of the things I have learned along the way which have helped me (an engineer) lead my team of engineers.
If you want to be successful managing your team, it’s important that you get to know yourself first.
When we think of becoming better leaders, we think of tools and techniques. We think of books and seminars. We think of skills we must add or improve to connect with those we are leading and to help others navigate their paths to becoming stronger contributors to the overall good of the team. Much of our leadership development is externally focused.
How can we get our team member to do this? Or how can we get our team member to stop doing that?
In our quest to become better leaders, we often forget to look in the mirror.
Becoming a better leader starts by learning to lead ourselves first.
I don’t know about you, but my podcast feed is full of podcasts about leadership. My nightstand is full of books about leadership. And my blog reader is jammed with blog posts and articles about leadership. It’s great to feed our minds with great material, but we must learn to step back from time to time and develop habits to lead ourselves.
As a leader trying to figure it out, I believe self leadership starts when we take time to STRETCH ourselves. To help you see what I mean, here’s an easy way to remember seven keys to leading yourself:
Too many leaders believe busyness is a badge of achievement. In the rush to hustle more than the next guy, leaders forget how to stop and be still. Learning to still yourself takes practice. Start with a minute every hour. Or start with 10-15 minutes in the morning before the days responsibilities take over.
Become an observer of life. Keep track of what is happening. Keep a journal. Spend a few minutes at the end of the day capturing the details of the day. If we don’t write it down somewhere, we’ll forget it.
It’s not just enough to still yourself and take note. You have to take time to reflect. For me, this means getting away for a couple of days once or twice a year. Reflection provides the opportunity to gain wisdom from what we have just experienced, and it gives the chance to ponder the future.
One of the best ways to lead yourself is to open yourself up to feedback from others. When I think of key relationships, I think of my family, my close friends, and my boss. Who are the people who will help you see the things you need to see when you look in the mirror? These are the people who can help you take your leadership to the next level.
It’s easy to fall into a rut when we are leading. In order to break out of our patterns, we must be willing to take a risk. Leading yourself requires you to willingly move past unproductive routines. Trying new things on a regular basis helps leaders learn things they may have otherwise overlooked.
Whether you or an introvert or an extrovert, you need community and community needs you. By involving yourself in community, you gain opportunities to lead others outside your team. Community is also the place where you can be led by others outside your normal circle of influence. When you lead in the community, you gain valuable insights to lead better in your organization. If you want to lead yourself to become a better leader, get involved in your community today!
Leadership too often is a race to see who climbs the corporate ladder more quickly. If you want to be an effective leader, you must analyze your motives. Why are you leading? When your season of leadership is over, what legacy will you have left? The best way to lead with impact is when you lead with a servant’s heart. Find ways to help others, and your leadership will advance to a whole new level.
If you paid attention, you may have realized that these seven keys encourage leaders to S.T.R.E.T.C.H. As you lead in your organization, don’t forget to STRETCH by leading yourself first.
Piece of Paper Exercise
Learning to Look for Differences Exercise
Tools To Help You Learn More About Your Team Members (and About You)
Myers-Briggs Temperament Index – My MBTI (I am an ESTJ. I’m more of an Extrovert than an Introvert. I rely on Sensing as opposed to iNtuition. I’m much more of a Thinker than a Feeler. And I’m more likely to Judge than to Perceive.)
The MBTI was constructed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers. It is based on the typological theory proposed by Carl Jung who had speculated that there are four principal psychological functions by which humans experience the world – sensation, intuition, feeling, and thinking – and that one of these four functions is dominant for a person most of the time. The MBTI was constructed for normal populations and emphasizes the value of naturally occurring differences. “The underlying assumption of the MBTI is that we all have specific preferences in the way we construe our experiences, and these preferences underlie our interests, needs, values, and motivation.”
16 different types
StrengthsFinder 2.0 (Get book) – My Strengths (Harmony, Achiever, Responsibility, Disciplined, and Analyzer)
Wikipedia: DISC is a behavior assessment tool based on the DISC theory of psychologist William Moulton Marston, which centers on four different behavioral traits, which today are called: dominance, influence, support, and conscientiousness. This theory was then developed into a behavioral assessment tool by industrial psychologist Walter Vernon Clarke.
There are many different versions of the questionnaire and assessment. Some date back to the 1940s while others are more recent, more accurate, and more advanced.
Communication Style Assessment
Whether you are a manager of direct reports or not, I hope you’ll find this list helpful in understanding ways to get better. Success doesn’t happen by accident. Success happens by being intentional, and this list offers suggestions – no, essentials – for being intentional with the performance management process.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Right?
If leadership stress, exhaustion, and inadequacy are common, there has to be a solution.
I’m sure we could point to many things that make leadership easier – getting more sleep, exercising regularly, reading, learning, and finding a mentor. These are all valuable actions a leader can take to improve their leadership capabilities. There another solution that too easily gets overlooked and sometimes misused.
Delegation is what I’m talking about.
I’m not talking about pawning off all the unpleasant tasks on someone else and acting as a dictator. I’m talking about spreading out the work, so a leader and team can be more effective which will lead to less stress, less exhaustion, and a deeper feeling of adequacy and fulfillment. Delegation is “the assignment of responsibility or authority to another person to carry out specific activities (Wikipedia).”
It seems rather simple. Spread the work out. Ease the load of the leader. Use the leadership talents of others in the community. And make the community happier.
Here are six reasons leaders should delegate:
If you want to overcome stress, exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy in your leadership, it’s time for you to start delegating.
My Shark Tank Experience
What other companies are doing
A chance to brainstorm
Questions, Answers, and Contact Information
Today is a significant day in my career. I officially start a new position as the head of a department responsible for providing building automation solutions throughout Eastern Pennsylvania, Southern New Jersey, and Northern Delaware. I’m excited about this step and opportunity to serve and lead at a greater level. As I head into this new adventure, I’m working through a number of things I want to mark my leadership in this position. Today, I’ve give you a glimpse into my head.
I’m honored to be the featured guest on The Answers From Leadership Podcast with Joe Lalonde. My episode is titled Importance Of Stretching Your Leadership With Jon Stolpe. I’d be thrilled if you stopped by and gave it a listen. Click here (or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher).
Then stop by and let me know what you think in the comments.
Are you content with mediocre? Or do you want to live a life that matters?
I chose the second option.
Living a life that matters requires intentional striving for excellence.
Yesterday, we talked about the nine things holding you back from excellence. Today, let’s look at the keys to making excellence a reality in our lives.
If you want to live a life of excellence, it’s time to get going – NOW!
One of my favorite movies as a teenager was Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It’s a teenage boy movie full of teenage boy humor. I think that’s why I liked it so much. I remember seeing the movie with a few of my friends, and the rest of the year we repeated lines from the movie to each other as we went about our activities.
In the movie, “excellent” was a word thrown around by Bill and Ted to describe anything they thought was cool, interesting, or fun. If the movie had been made a few years ago, it might be called Bill & Ted’s Phat Adventure or Bill & Ted’s YOLO Adventure or something similar.
I like the word excellent or excellence. Here’s how Wikipedia defines excellence:
Excellence is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses ordinary standards. It is also used as a standard of performance as measured e.g. through economic indicators.
Excellence is a continuously moving target that can be pursued through actions of integrity, being front-runner in terms of products / services provided that are reliable and safe for the intended users, meeting all obligations and continually learning and improving in all spheres to pursue the moving target.
Excellence doesn’t happen by accident. It takes planning. It requires repeated action. And excellence means constant analysis and adjustment along the way.
I want to be known for going about life with excellence. Despite this desire, there are several things preventing me from achieving excellence.
Come back tomorrow for thoughts on how you and I can make excellence a reality in our lives.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
When I was a child, my parents measured my growth by marking my height on the door frame of one of the rooms in our house. I could see growth happening, because my mark kept getting higher on the wall. I eventually passed my mother. Then I passed my father. And eventually, my mark on the wall was over 6’5″ above the floor.
When it comes to my height, I stopped growing many years ago. But this doesn’t mean I stopped growing. I still pride myself on my appetite for personal growth. I read books. I listen to podcasts. I watch educational videos. And I hang out with smart people. I participate in these activities to make sure I keep growing.
Personal growth doesn’t happen by accident. If you want to grow (or STRETCH as I like to say), you have to be intentional.
Today, I’m excited to announce the release of Dan Black’s new eBook, The Little Book of Personal Growth.
In the short book, Dan unpacks the meaning of personal growth, and he provides a road map for helping readers create their own plan for personal growth. The book outlines the five stages of personal growth. Then Dan unveils the ten core benefits of engaging in regular personal growth. He discusses the components necessary for personal growth.
Dan does a great job recognizing that we have different learning styles. He describes nine methods readers can use for their own personal growth. And finally, he walks readers through a simple step-by-step process for developing a personal growth plan that will take you to higher heights on your personal growth chart.
(Please note: I received a preview copy of The Little Book of Personal Growth for free as a gift from Dan Black in exchange for my pre-purchase of his new eBook and for my agreement to participate on his launch team for this book. I was not required to provide a favorable review. I believe this book can be a helpful tool for being more intentional with your life and your personal growth.
Also to note: There are affiliate links in this post. Should you purchase The Little Book of Personal Growth by clicking one of these links, I receive a small percentage of the purchase. These funds are used to support The Stretched Blog and to extend ministry and missions to Guatemala. Thank you!)
I was shocked last week when my boss forwarded an email to me from our area manager indicating that the dress code for managers and salespeople in our area was being relaxed for the summer months (June 1st thru September 30th). I am no longer required to wear a tie Monday thru Thursday during this time period. In his memo, our area manager stated that he had reconsidered his long-held stance on more formal attire after reviewing the acceptable social norms in the industry.
Ties have been a requirement for managers and salespeople for years, and I honestly did not expect this news.
Thanks to my area manager’s memo, I learned somethings about leadership:
While my ties will miss getting out of the closet the next few months, I’m happy to give my neck a break.