On The Receiving End – Pay It Forward Comes Back
A simple act of kindness can shift your perspective. [Click to Tweet]
Earlier this week, Leanne and I were out at lunch time as we were dealing with the aftermath of her accident. As we entered the nearby Subway to grab a quick bite to eat, there was a lady in front of us getting ready place her order. When we joined the line behind her, she immediately let us go in front of her which initially caught me off guard. From there, Leanne and I ordered our sandwiches. Just as we were about to pay for our lunch, the same young lady handed Leanne a coupon for a free sandwich.
She asked for nothing in return. She simply provided a small piece of generosity that brought a huge shift to my perspective. You see, we were so focused on the accident and the details related to how it impacted our family. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking of other people at the time. But this young lady changed my thinking. We had an opportunity to thank her as she was getting her drink from the self-service beverage dispenser. As we briefly exchanged words, we all agreed that the world needed more people who offered this type of simple kindness.
Late in November of last year, I wrote about starting a Pay It Forward Revolution. I shared that the idea may be utopian, but I’d love to see it work. The response to the post of okay, but it wasn’t overwhelming. I suppose I had resolved myself to the fact that this idea was stupid – or just too idealistic. Maybe I really didn’t believe it could work. After Monday’s lunch, I changed my mind. I don’t know if this young lady was part of the Pay It Forward Revolution or not. I do know that it felt refreshing to be on the receiving end of such simple generosity. It felt reassuring that it just may work. Her simple action reminded me that I can do my part through simple Pay It Forward actions every day. Perhaps, I can make a difference for one person today.
Describe a time when your perspective has been shifted by generosity. How can you make a difference in someone’s life today through simple kindness?
CRASH! Accidents Happen – And God Still Shows Up
Sunday morning, my wife had an accident on the way to church. Without going into tons of detail, she lost control of the vehicle when she hit a long patch of snow and ice as she came around a turn. No one else was involved. Leanne escaped with some scrapes, abrasions, and soreness, but the car didn’t fare so well (as you can see by the picture above).
What started as a normal winter Sunday morning quickly turned traumatic. We were quickly reminded that accidents happen. When I received a call while I was eating my breakfast between a workout and getting ready for church, a hundred thoughts went through my head. Why am I getting a call at 9:15AM on a Sunday morning? What do you mean my wife had an accident? Is she okay? She is, then how’s the car? What do I do next? My head spun from there.
After the call, I quickly jumped in the shower, threw on some clothes, and ran to the car. Driving to the accident scene, I experienced a mix of other thoughts. “Don’t drive too fast.” “Get to Leanne and the accident scene as soon as possible.” “Watch out for snow-covered roads.”
The rest of the events on Sunday morning were somewhat surreal. Throughout the entire experience I was reminded that God still shows up when things get crazy. Leanne had an accident, but it wasn’t an accident that we have friends who live two houses away from the accident scene. These friends were amazing in helping Leanne, contacting me, and talking to the police officers. Leanne’s parents were here at the time of the accident. This meant that Leanne’s dad could go with me to meet Leanne, and Leanne’s mom could stay with the kids. The accident has obviously created a wave of inconveniences and unanswered questions, but I have found peace trusting that God will provide the answers for how we should proceed – will our car be totaled and how will we pay for a replacement vehicle?
On Monday, we began to get answers as we talked to insurance people and lined up a rental vehicle while we wait for word on the car. As the day continued, we saw God showing up in calmed anxieties and a clearer picture of the protection that He had provided to Leanne during this accident. When we visited the yard where the car was being stored, it was unbelievable to see the amount of broken glass and damage to the car and to realize that Leanne had somehow crawled out of the vehicle and avoided more significant injuries.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
Over the years, I’ve learned (and learned again) that we can’t always explain why things happen. But we can always remember that God is there no matter what. When things are going well, God is there. When things are mundane, God is there. And when things get bumpy, God is there too!
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Accidents have happened and will happen again. This is part of life. I don’t think God causes these accidents, but I’m confident that God still shows up whether accidents happen or not.
How have you seen God recently? When has God shown up for you in the rocky dtimes of life?
Fourth Sunday of Advent: Peace
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
will accomplish this.Isaiah 9:6-7
These days it seems like we’re a far cry from true peace. Our world is full of senseless violence. People are fighting. War wages in different places across the world. Meanwhile in our homes, we run from one activity to the next leaving little opportunity to catch a breath. Kids are bickering. Parents are yelling. We leave no chance for peace to permeate our lives.
If you come from a more traditional church background, you probably will be lighting the fourth candle on the church’s advent wreath. Today is the fourth Sunday of Advent. Many people around the world will be talking about peace. Today’s verse above talks about an everlasting peace that will come when Christ, the Prince of Peace, returns to rule. I long for that peace. May you find a glimmer of peace this season as we anticipate Christ’s return.
Do you crave peace? How will you pursue peace this week?
Today, I’m hooking up with The Sunday Community. Hop on over here to see what I’m talking about.
In The Wake Of The Newtown, CT Tragedy – Turning To The Psalms
In life, we experience many ups and downs. While yesterday was a day to focus on an uncontrollable and everlasting joy (see my advent post from yesterday), it’s also been a weekend of such sadness following the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut.
I can only imagine the despair that must be in the hearts of those in the community and in the homes of those who lost loved ones. I’m sure I cannot fully relate to their sadness. Having said that, I’ve experienced my own ups and downs. One place that I’ve found solace is the Psalms. In the Psalms, the writers express joy, happiness, exaltation, hope, and utter despair. As we all process this week and life in general, I’m thankful God’s Word. The Psalm below speaks to the emotions of this weekend.
God, you’re my last chance of the day.
I spend the night on my knees before you.
Put me on your salvation agenda;
take notes on the trouble I’m in.
I’ve had my fill of trouble;
I’m camped on the edge of hell.
I’m written off as a lost cause,
one more statistic, a hopeless case.
Abandoned as already dead,
one more body in a stack of corpses,
And not so much as a gravestone—
I’m a black hole in oblivion.
You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit,
sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.
I’m battered senseless by your rage,
relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.
You turned my friends against me,
made me horrible to them.
I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out,
blinded by tears of pain and frustration.I call to you, God; all day I call.
I wring my hands, I plead for help.
Are the dead a live audience for your miracles?
Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you?
Does your love make any difference in a graveyard?
Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell?
Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark,
your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?I’m standing my ground, God, shouting for help,
at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?
Why do you make yourself scarce?
For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting;
I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I’ve had it.
Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;
I’m bleeding, black-and-blue.
You’ve attacked me fiercely from every side,
raining down blows till I’m nearly dead.
You made lover and neighbor alike dump me;
the only friend I have left is Darkness.Psalm 88 (The Message)
I know that HOPE and LOVE will emerge and win, but it doesn’t stop the pain now.
Where do you go to process life’s ups and downs? What Psalms or scriptures do you turn to when life gets tough?
Third Sunday of Advent: Joy
But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.Psalm 5:11
This is a picture of JOY. Not what you expected? Let me explain.
This is a picture of our Seeing Eye dog, Irwin. We are fostering him until he goes to school in another month or two. This picture was taken after we first got him about a year ago when he was seven weeks old. Everyone is pretty happy and joyful when Irwin arrived. But there was another type of “joy” we experienced as he became part of family.
Whenever I came home from work for the first few months, Irwin would run to the door to greet me. He was always so excited that he would lose control and pee on the floor and sometimes on me. I’m not sure if animals experience true “joy”, but it seems to me our puppy was experiencing uncontrollable happiness whenever I returned. I don’t know that we’ll pee ourselves, but I have to believe we will experience an uncontrollable joy when Christ returns.
If you come from a more traditional church background, you probably will be lighting the third candle on the church’s advent wreath. Today is the third Sunday of Advent. Many people around the world will be talking about joy. Today’s verse above talks about an everlasting joy that comes to those who take refuge in God. When we sing Joy To The World at Christmas time, it’s not about the joy of a new puppy or a new baby. Christmas is about a joy that can only come through a Savior. May you know joy this season in a new way as we anticipate Christ’s return.
How have you experienced joy this week?
Today, I’m hooking up with The Sunday Community and Fresh Brewed Sundays. Hop on over here and here to see what I’m talking about.
(To set your mind at ease, Irwin doesn’t pee on me anymore. We think he’s going to be a great Seeing Eye Guide Dog.)
I’d Rather Have A Root Canal (10 Things Worse Than A Root Canal)
Yesterday, I had my first root canal. I’ve heard mixed things about this whole procedure. We’ll see how my recovery goes, but so far it hasn’t been as bad as I might have expected. It’s amazing what they can do with some Novocaine and a bunch of drills.
As a fun way to commemorate my first root canal experience, I thought it would be “fun” to list a few things that are worse than having a root canal procedure.
Here’s my Top 10 list of “fun” things worse than having a root canal:
- Going shopping at the mall on Black Friday – I made it to a grocery store and the Goodwill store this Black Friday. I can’t imagine subjecting myself to the swarms of mad shoppers looking for deals and big televisions and socks.
- Colonoscopy – I haven’t had one yet, but it doesn’t sound like fun.
- Sit through another round of negative presidential campaign advertisements – Don’t get me wrong here. I’m thankful for the right and privilege to vote, and I’m glad we get to select a new president or re-elect a president every four years, but the negative campaign ads drive me nuts.
- Cleaning up dog diarrhea all over the living room carpet – Yep. I’ve done this before. Trust me it was not fun.
- Throwing up – I don’t like to throw up. Cleaning up someone’s puke is also not high on my list.
- Listening to John Madden – Okay, so I’m exaggerating a bit here, but you have to admit. His announcing skills could use some refining.
- Sitting through a Roger & Me movie marathon – I watched Roger & Me with some buddies when I was in high school. Was it just me or was this a dumb movie for teenagers to be watching on a free Friday night?
- Migraine headaches – I’ve had more than my fair share of migraines this past year. It’s been getting better, but I still can’t stand them.
- Watching the Yankees win another World Series – This one’s for my buddy, Dan Reischel. I’m sorry, but I’m tired of seeing the Yankees win. Let’s go Phillies!
- Paying for a root canal – I don’t know how much the crown will cost yet, but the root canal procedure itself wasn’t cheap (even after insurance).
What do you think? Have you ever had a root canal? What would you add to the list?
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4
I Didn’t Win The Powerball Lottery
Yesterday, I walked into a local convenience store at lunch time after a quick-lunch time geocaching run. I couldn’t believe how many cars were in the parking lot. As I entered the store there was a line of people wrapped around the store. I followed the line and saw that it led to a lottery machine in the middle of the store. I was clueless. I had no idea that everyone was in line for a huge Powerball jackpot.
It kind of cracks me up. People stand in line for their entire lunch hour just to plunk money into a machine at $2 per ticket for an unlikely chance to win a $579 million dollar lottery jackpot. What are the odds of winning this jackpot? Some reports indicate that the odds of winning are 1 in 175 million. The news today is reporting that there were 2 winning tickets (one in Arizona and one in Missouri).
I didn’t win.
I didn’t purchase a ticket though either. They say you have to play to win. But I think I may have already won. In Proverbs, Solomon talks about ways to become wealthy:
Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow. Proverbs 13:11
I’m not sure that the whole lottery system is dishonest, but it’s not a smart way to gather money. People think they can get rich quick by spending their paychecks on $2 lottery tickets or by putting their money in a slot machine or on a blackjack table. Sure, it’s possible that someone could win and alter their financial existence forever, but is it likely? Of course not!
As Christians, we are called to be good stewards of our resources. While I’m not wasting my money on $2 dollar lottery tickets, I’m sure there are purchasing decisions that I have made that don’t offer the best return on investment. Over the years, I’m learning more about good stewardship, and it’s an ongoing lesson. Here are a couple of thoughts to get the conversation started:
- Don’t go into debt. This is a challenging one for Americans. We have built a culture of consumerism where consumer debt is the norm. We want the latest thing now, so we go into debt instead of saving up to make the purchase.
- Get out of debt quickly. So most of us missed step one. There’s still hope. Get out of debt as fast as you can. This means cutting up credit cards. This means sacrifice. But it can be done!
- Have a plan. This is an area that has taken our family a while to develop. Sitting down once a month to plan your spending is key. Your plan shouldn’t involve spending more than your income (makes sense). Review your plan regularly throughout the month to make sure you are on track.
- Save your money. Since when did we have to spend it all. Just like the verse above states, wealth happens when you gather your money little by little. Do you have a retirement fund? Do you have a college fund? Do you have an emergency fund? These are great places to start.
- Give your money away. When you get out of debt and start saving money, you suddenly have money that can make a real difference in the world. I would say that this includes tithing to your local church (which should start from the beginning).
- Remember who owns the money. If you are a Christian, you should realize that it’s not your money anyway. Every good and perfect gift comes from God. When we remember this fact, it will help us to make better decisions about how we spend the money we’ve been given.
Did you play the Powerball? How are you being a good steward? What other advice do you have for the Stretched Community on practicing good stewardship?
We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program
Last night, our H.O.P.E. group was supposed to be serving at The Good Samaritan Shelter in Phoenixville, PA. We were scheduled to paint and clean a couple of rooms at the shelter with our group which typically meets twice a month to serve other people. It didn’t happen though.
In the middle of the day, we received news that the shelter was closing their offices early due to the inclement weather. We received a few inches of wet snow yesterday which doesn’t sound like a lot for those in the some parts of the country. For some reason, the first significant snow fall put everyone in our area on high alert.
And so our regularly scheduled program was interrupted. The interruption came with mixed feelings. My wife and I were a little sad, because we had a big group scheduled to help out. We were excited to have our whole H.O.P.E. group along with a few guests lined up to put a dent in the shelter. It’s challenging to reschedule activities like this, so cancelling this event brings an unknown as to when we’ll be able to serve again with this ministry.
On the other hand, our family has an extremely busy schedule this week with activities scheduled for each evening. The break last night was somewhat of a blessing as it gave us the opportunity to be at home for the evening. We were able to eat together, read, and relax after a busy day of work and school.
Sometimes an interruption can be a good thing. I don’t normally handle interruption all that well. I don’t like change, and I don’t like it when my schedule or routine is compromised. So what can I learn from last night’s interruption?
- Interruptions happen. It’s a fact of life. You and I need to get used to the fact that things come up that will interrupt our lives.
- Embrace the interruption. Sometimes an interruption can be just what we need to get us realigned. Besides, pouting and grumbling over the impact of an interruption is a waste of energy. My kids enjoyed the opportunity to play in the snow. Perhaps, this was their way of embracing the interruption.
- Evaluate your interrupted activity. What was I doing when I was interrupted? What part of my schedule was interrupted? Do I need to return to that activity, program, conversation, etc.? Or do I need to move on? I hope that we can reschedule this H.O.P.E. serving opportunity, but it will be important for us to evaluate how this fits into the schedule for our group and for our family.
- Expect interruption. Interruptions are a good reminder that we need to build in margins into our schedules and into our lives. Margins give us space to breath, to think, and to react to life’s interruptions.
- Be considerate when you interrupt and when you are interrupted. It’s going to happen. You will need to interrupt someone else and their regularly scheduled program, and you will be interrupted by someone else who really needs your attention. Learn to respect other people. Respond in grace. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
- Trust God when your life is interrupted. Sometimes interruptions can be far more than an inconvenience. Sometimes an interruption can be like shoving a stick in the spokes of a moving bicycle. Maybe it’s a health crisis, a job loss, or a death of a loved one. These kinds of interruptions can rock our worlds. In times like these, we need to remember to trust God. He may be the only thing we can hang onto when an interruption shatters our lives.
When was the last time your schedule was interrupted? How was this interruption a good thing? How has interruption in your life STRETCHED you?
How To Waste Your Gifts
In several passages of the New Testament, Paul talks about spiritual gifts. He explains that we’re each given certain gifts when we become followers of Christ.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
I Corinthians 12:7-11
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded of this topic. Last week, I led a discussion in my Foundations Class about gifts. This week at RIOT, guest speaker, Matt Silver, spoke about the importance of sharing our gifts instead of hoarding them. Yesterday, I was having a conversation with Terri Stone, the Pastor of Pastor Care, and we talked about the importance of using our gifts in the right places. As I’ve been thinking more about the subject, it dawned on me that many of us waste our gifts. Here are some of the ways we waste our gifts:
- We don’t know our gifts. If I read Paul’s letters to the Romans and the Corinthians correctly, we each have spiritual gifts (when we decide to make Jesus the leader and forgiver of our lives). How can we use or gifts, if we don’t know what they are?
- We don’t serve in our area of giftedness. Instead of being strategic, we take an unplanned approach to jumping into ministry. This does a disservice to the body of Christ. It’s like taking off our arm, attaching it to our head, and trying to listen with it. It just doesn’t work right. My arm wasn’t meant to be an ear. Some of us are not meant to teach. Some of us are not meant to preach.
- We over-serve. I may have just made up that word. Here’s what I mean. We over involve ourselves. We plug into every ministry we possible can. Our calendars are completely filled up with serving opportunities. This is like asking our hands to listen, to speak, to think, to walk, to see, to smell, to digest our food, to breathe, etc. You get the idea. Our hands can’t do all that. And if they tried, they would wear out pretty quickly. Strategically serving where we are gifted keeps us from wearing out. It also allows other parts of the body to serve where they are gifted.
So how can we use our gifts more wisely? Here are a couple of ideas.
- Discover your spiritual gifts. Talk to leaders in your church. Ask them if they offer help for discerning your spiritual gifts. There are several spiritual gifts “tests” that can be used to help you figure out how you might be gifted. Check out Discover Your Spiritual Gifts The Network Way by Bruce Bugbee.
- Be strategic with your spiritual gifts. Jump in and serve where you are gifted. It will feel right to be serving where you are gifted. Find out how you can get involved at your church. Go through the list and cross of ministry areas where you know you’ll fail. Circle the ministry areas that interest you. Start serving. If one area of service doesn’t work out, try a different area that you circled. It’s important for you to plug-in where you are most gifted. The whole body will benefit. I would also encourage you to find accountability. Use friends and church leaders to help direct you to an area of service that fits you best. Often others can see where you fit in better than you can see yourself.
- Resist the urge to do everything. You may be robbing others of using their gifts to the fullest when you do everything. Besides, you will wear yourself out and become ineffective when you try to do everything. Find your sweet spot!
I know that I need these reminders from time to time. It’s easy for me to lose focus on my spiritual gifts. I tend to over involve myself in areas that don’t match up with my giftedness. I want to be a productive part of the body of Christ. I don’t want to waste my gifts!
Do you know your spiritual gifts? How are you using your gifts to serve the body of Christ? What other suggestions do you have for making the most of our spiritual gifts?
How Can I Do Better? – Reflections From A Parent/Teacher Conference
Last night, we attended a parent/teacher conference for our son. As a middle school student, Isaac also had the opportunity to participate in the conference as well. Isaac had just finished up his first marking period of seventh grade. He did remarkably well (proud Dad moment) achieving straight A’s.
The conferences were optional yet we decided to scheduled a meeting with his core teachers. For Leanne and I, it was an opportunity to listen to additional feedback – to hear where Isaac is excelling and to her where Isaac could grow or improve. Naturally, the feedback from his teachers was all great to hear. And at the end of the conference, they provided an opportunity for us to ask questions.
Isaac asked his teachers this question, “How can I do better?”
This is a pretty powerful question if you’re serious about getting a true response. Just because we did “well” doesn’t mean we can’t get better. I like this philosophy. When I was in an active design engineering role at my company, I used to ask the installers and the start-up technicians these types of questions. “How can I improve my design next time to make your installation easier or to make your start-up activities go more efficiently?” I learned so much by asking questions like this. As a manager now, I need to keep asking these questions. I want to be the best manager possible to help my team succeed and to help my team members achieve their personal career targets.
Isaac’s teachers gave him some great feedback in response to his question. They told him to speak up and to take a more active leadership role in group activities. They encouraged him to be more creative in some of his assignments. And they reaffirmed that he was already doing a great job. Then the teachers turned the tables on Isaac by asking their own follow-up question, “How can we do a better job helping you?” Isaac had to think about this question. What a great conference to attend! It was so neat to see students and teachers discussing ways to get better. What an example for all of us!
And so, I’d like to ask a couple of questions. I hope you’ll give me honest and constructive feedback. It’s part of the STRETCHING process. I value your feedback!
How can I better serve you – The Stretched Community? What thoughts can you share to help me improve my writing and The Stretched Blog? What topics would you like me to cover more often? Less often? What’s working well? What’s not working so well?