My Mom

My Mom and Hannah near the Grassy Knoll in Dallas, TX

My Mom is pretty special.  And I know I don’t tell her that nearly often enough.  She’s the one who put up with three boys not including my Dad and any of the dogs we’ve had along the way.  Mom has a servant’s heart.  She is always looking out for the best interest of others.  Whether it’s in our home, at church, in the mall, on the highway, or anywhere else, Mom has a keen desire to make sure everyone is cared for and is well fed.

As an example, Mom was one of the main drivers behind the creation of a caring center at our old church in Mt. Holly, NJ.  At this center, Mom and other volunteers would collect food and clothing to give to families from the area who were in need.  This ministry grew and grew for several years as it served hundreds if not thousands of Burlington County families.

Mom is the one who knows most everyone at the church by name.  She knows them not just because she’s the pastor’s wife but because she has spent time praying for them.  Mom is friendly – this is a major understatement.  She one of the first to greet new people as they come into church.  She learns their names and quickly tries to help them to get plugged in with others.  This goes with Mom’s gift of hospitality.

As a kid, I remember Mom using this gift on many Sunday afternoon’s when we would have people over for Sunday “dinner” around our dining room table.  The food always smelled so good when we walked into the door after church.  Which reminds me, Mom is an amazing chef.  Her pot roasts and pies are just two of the things that come to mind when I think of Mom’s delicious cooking.

Mom loves Scrabble.  I’m kind of disappointed that I didn’t get to play Scrabble with her during our visit to Dallas last month.  But it was pretty neat to watch Mom playing Scrabble with Hannah and Isaac.  It reminds me of the times when I played Scrabble with my Grandma.

I could go on and on about Mom.  She’s really an amazing woman.  Most of all, I am thankful for my Mom, because she pointed me to Jesus.  Whether it was through her conversation or through the example she continues to provide, Mom showed me how to love God and to love others.  She showed me through her heart to serve others.

Thank you, Mom.  I love you!

What’s special about your mom?

How Did 12 Years Go By So Fast?

How did 12 years go by so fast?

This is the question I asked myself as I crawled into bed last night. Twelve years ago yesterday, our lives were forever changed when our son entered this world. I remember spending that day working in the yard with our two and half year old daughter, Hannah, who was decked out in a cute watermelon themed outfit complete with a watermelon hat. As we were getting into the middle of the afternoon, Leanne suddenly came outside and indicated that we needed to get moving quickly. The baby was on the way. Little did I know how soon he would arrive. We rushed to the hospital.  And we barely made it out of the parking lot and into the hospital when Leanne’s water broke. Within an hour we were holding our 8 pound 6 ounce bundle of joy.

You would never think he was once so small when you see him now. At five and a half feet tall and just over the 100 pound mark, Isaac is rapidly becoming a young man. When we think of Isaac many things come to mind: he is talented – especially musically, he is kind, he is thoughtful, he is caring, he is funny, he is quiet, he is goofy at times, and he is a tinkerer. These are just some of the things that I think of when I think of my son.

But there is one thing that I am most proud of when it comes to Isaac. He loves God. His faith is important to him. He wants to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, Isaac is a 12 year-old boy who gets into trouble from time to time. But if you really get to know Isaac, you’ll see a kid who seeks to honor God. What more could a father ask for?

As we head into Isaac’s teenage years, I am beginning to realize that my time of influence is limited. I pray that I can have an impact on my son, and that I can help him to become the man God is calling him to become. As a father, I have the honor, the privilege, and the responsibility to intentionally teach him and lead him in his journey to manhood.

Isaac, I’ll do my best to help you. Be patient with me though, because I’m still figuring it out myself. Happy Birthday, son! I’m proud of you, and I love you, buddy.

What were you up to twelve years ago? How are you being intentional in your parenting?

The Power To Change A Family Tree

Last night, Leanne and I were working on a talk that we will be giving at a MOPS meeting later this month at our church.  We’ve been asked to talk about discipline.  What a fun subject!

Actually, it’s not the easiest subject to talk about.  Everyone has different opinions and backgrounds when it comes to discipline.  Some of us grew up with parents who hardly disciplined us at all, and some of us faced the other extreme of discipline that may have bordered on abuse.  At any rate, it is an important topic, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to share some of the things that we’ve learned (and are learning) in our parenting journey.

As we were preparing for our talk, we were watching a couple of clips from the first season of Supernanny.  (Many of you may know that Leanne and I wrote a parenting curriculum several years ago based on this series which you can see by clicking here.)  At the end of the clip, the mother in the episode shares some thoughts that got me thinking.  She said something like this, “The changes that we are making today will have an impact on these three little boys, and they will forever change the world for their kids as well.  We are making a change that will impact generations.”

That’s a pretty powerful statement.  Something I do today could impact my kids, my grandchildren, and even my great-grandchildren.

I’ve heard this before.  Dave Ramsey always tells families who have made a decision to become debt free that they are “changing their family tree forever.”

Wouldn’t it be great to know that you were having that kind of impact?

Whether it’s taking positive steps in our finances or making changes in our parenting approach, we can clearly change the world when we decide to live with intention.

I think it’s easy to get hung up on our past failures.  We’ve all messed up!  It’s also easy to become overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy.  We need to shift our thinking.  Today is a brand new day.  We can start making changes starting today.  The past is the past.

Here’s the question.  What change can you make today that will have an impact on future generations?  What is holding you back from making that change?

What Is Worship?

Come, let us bow down in worship,
    let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;
for he is our God
    and we are the people of his pasture,
    the flock under his care. 

Psalm 95:6-7

When you hear the word worship, what comes to mind?

I think of going to church and singing.  I think this is the answer that is drilled into our heads from an early age – not necessarily on purpose but by tradition.  I don’t think that answer is wrong, but I think it short sells worship – big time!

Yesterday, I had the privilege to be a part of a leader/facilitators meeting for a foundations class that is being rolled out at our church.  As we were discussing the leaders role in transformation, the following verse from Romans came up for discussion:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:1-2

Typically when I read these verses, I read about sacrifice and about transformation.  And I skip right over “this is your true and proper worship”.  If I’m reading this from a leaders perspective, I worship God when I give of myself sacrificially to serve and to lead others.  This didn’t say anything about going to church and singing.

So what is worship?

Of course, worship happens at church, but I think there’s so much more.

Worship is the way I live my life.  I worship God when I put Him first in everything I do.  I can worship God in my parenting, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my exercise, in my job, and even in my writing.

Our worship can be misdirected.  We easily get caught up in this culture of consumerism and celebrity.  We put movie stars and sports stars on pedestals.  We watch TV shows like American Idol (I like that show), Dancing With The Stars, and Celebrity Apprentice.  We are consumed with thoughts of greed – “I have to have this” or “I have to have that.”  This is all misdirected worship.

God says, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.  You shall have no other gods before Me.  You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”  Exodus 20:2-6

We have a choice to make.  We can allow the distractions of this world to hijack our attention – our worship.  Or we can choose today to worship God – at home, at church, at work, and throughout our lives.  What’s your choice?

What does worship look like for you today?  How do you worship God?

Respect

“Men are respectable only as they respect”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are many people in my life who I respect for all kinds of reasons.  I respect my parents and my wife’s parents.  I respect by boss.  I respect those in the church who are in leadership.  I respect my teachers.  I respect the political leaders throughout our country.

One person who I respect is Ray Rivera.  Ray was one of my youth leaders at the church where I grew up in New Jersey.  I looked at him as an authority figure, as a spiritual guide, and as a family friend.  Ray and his wife Joann always had time for me if I needed someone to talk with.  While I knew that he wasn’t perfect, I saw him making good decisions and leading with integrity and with a servant’s heart.

It’s wonderful that we have people in our lives like Ray Rivera – people who deserve respect not just because of their positions of authority but also because of their actions.

As parents, God has put us in a position that warrants respect.  One of the Ten Commandments instructs us to give honor to our parents.  As our children continue to grow, they begin to strive for respect from their parents and from others.  One thing to remember is that respect is not given, it’s earned.

Have you led your kids in a way that deserves respect?  If not, there is hope!  It’s never too late to make a change.  Also, it’s important to understand that the positive steps you take today will have an impact for the long haul.  When you positively parent your kids, you are not just impacting them.  You are making a difference for generations to come.

Who do you respect?

Sleepwalking

Last night, I had a strange thing happen to me.  I walked in my sleep.  I haven’t done this since I was a kid (as far as I know).  It’s an odd feeling to wake up in front of a window.  I must have been struggling to open the window in my sleep.  When I woke up, I had just opened the window.  I don’t remember walking over to the window.  I’m not even sure how I got over there.  I just know I was standing there when I woke up.  The whole thing was kind of weird!

Did you know that sleepwalking is mentioned in the Bible?

In Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul talks about sleepwalking:

You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.  So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. I Thessalonians 5:5-6 (NIV)

But friends, you’re not in the dark, so how could you be taken off guard by any of this? You’re sons of Light, daughters of Day. We live under wide open skies and know where we stand. So let’s not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let’s keep our eyes open and be smart. People sleep at night and get drunk at night. But not us! Since we’re creatures of Day, let’s act like it. Walk out into the daylight sober, dressed up in faith, love, and the hope of salvation.  I Thessalonians 5:4-8 (The Message)

What’s Paul saying here?  He’s encouraging Christ followers to be awake – to be alert.  He’s teaching us not to coast through life asleep or even drunk.  It can be easy to go with the flow.  We need to live with intention.  We need to live like it makes a difference.  We need to stop walking in our sleep.

I’m not sure why I walked in my sleep last night (other than I was pretty tired), but I know it was good to be reminded of Paul’s teaching.  It’s time to wake up!

Have you ever walked in your sleep?  Share your sleepwalking story with the rest of us.

My Dad’s Morning Routine

This morning, I woke up in another part of the country to green grass, fully leaved trees, and warmer temperatures.  As I walked to the back door to get a glimpse of the sunshine, I saw my dad lying down on the back porch.

He laid there wearing his “exercise” clothes doing his daily calisthenics and having his daily time for prayer and meditation.  My dad could give you all the details of his routine which has been part of his daily morning ritual for the past several years.  (Here’s a link to his blog where he shares the details of his prayer time.)  The general gist of it includes stretching, abdominal exercises, and push ups.  Then it moves to a time of prayer when he faces different directions and prayers for his family, his church, his community, and the world.  My dad uses the Psalms as he moves through his exercises.  He has a method for reciting all 150 Psalms.  He used to do this when he went swimming.  Now, he recites the Psalms as he warms up on his mini-trampoline.

As I watch him out there practicing his sermon for Sunday and going through the rest of the routine.  I’m inspired.  I’m amused.  I’m intrigued.

Many of you may know that I’m a guy who thrives on routine, patterns, discipline, and schedule.  I can see where it came from.  My dad is a man of discipline.  My grandparents were both very disciplined.  My guess is that there was some type of routine in their families before them.

Okay, now the routine has gone a bit far.  My dad is singing.  If you’ve ever sat next to my dad in church, you know this isn’t a good thing.  Actually, it’s pretty neat to hear…in the privacy of my parents’ backyard, my dad finds oneness with God.  I’m certain that his singing is sweet, sweet music to the Creator.

As we prepare to visit my parents’ church tonight for their Maundy Thursday service (we don’t have this at our home church), I’m looking forward to a day together.  What a great way to start the day!

What’s something quirky about your parents?  What quirkiness or trait do you have that you can see came from your parents?

Blank Page Pondering

When Stress and Anxiety Levels Overtake Me

There are times when stress and anxiety overtake me.

Yesterday was an incredibly busy and fairly stress day.  I gave a job offer/promotion to one person on my team, and I had to tell four other people that they didn’t get the job.  I had several people asking me for help in getting resources that were limited at the moment.  And I had to do an exit interview for one of my indirect reports who decided they wanted to end their employment sooner than agreed.  Meanwhile, I was straining to catch up on emails and to-do-list items that continue to build up.  Honestly, I could feel the stress building up as the day progressed.

When time like this come I cherish scripture that reminds me to give my worry and anxiety to God.  Here are a few of the verses I go back to at times like this:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:25-34

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  I Peter 5:7

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.  Psalm 94:19

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.  Proverbs 12:25

As I reflect on my day, I lean on these verses as timely reminders to relax and to trust God for wisdom, authority, strength, and peace.

And now, I’m ready for a new day!

How do you deal with stress?  What helps you when your anxiety levels begin to elevate?

Why Do I Write?

Why do I write?

This is a great question.

I’ve always had a stronger pull towards math and science.  This drove me to become an engineer.

But I must have had some writing pulsing through my veins along the way.  I made it through four years of high school honors English although this was a struggle for me as I fought to keep up with my creative and competitive classmates.  I still remember the crushing blow of my first (and only) “D” in my second marking period of honors English with Mr. Minnear.  I finished the class with a “B” thanks to lots of effort and some help from my father who majored in English literature during his undergraduate studies.

Strangely enough, I’ve been drawn to writing over the last few years.  If I’m honest, I must confess that I want to be noticed through my writing – to one day write a book and to be known as a writer.  But writing is so much more than that for me.  Writing is an outlet – a place to process my joys, my struggles, my ups and downs, my faith, my thoughts, and even the mundane aspects of life.  Through my writing, I hope to stretch myself and to stretch others along the way.  My writing helps me keep track of life as it moves along at an ever quickening pace.

This is all part of it, but there is something more.

Why do I write?

I write to honor God.  I write to bring God glory.  I write to grow closer to God.

This is why I write.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Colossians 3:17

Why do you write?