The Power of A Positive Attitude
My daughter, Hannah, has been running cross-country this season for our local high school. This is her second season running at the high school level. Last year, she was probably running 13th – 17th on a very deep team. The season was a great opportunity to learn her capabilities, to meet her coaches, and to become more comfortable with the girls on the team. She started the year out somewhat slow, but she showed improvement as the season went along.
This year, she entered the season with higher expectations. She ran over 250 miles during the summer in preparation for the season. She definitely came in with higher goals of running faster and being ranked higher on the team. One of her goals was to run under 21:30 (for 5K or 3.1 miles), and another goal was to crack the varsity line-up. Each week, Hannah has shown improvement, and it was obvious she would meet the first goal before the end of the season. She has been close on the second goal, but this goal seemed to be just out of reach.
In a typical meet, varsity is made up of the top 7 runners. A couple of weeks ago, she was scheduled to run with the varsity runners for the Paul Short Invitational at Lehigh University. This race allows 10 runners from each team to run varsity. Unfortunately, this race was cancelled due to unseasonable heat which caused many runners to go to the hospital in earlier races. Hannah was disappointed, but she kept going.
The next week, she had her last dual meet of the season. Before the race, we talked about her goals for the race, and she hinted about cracking the top 7, but she knew it would be tough. She ran very well, and ended up finishing 7th on the team (and 8th overall). She was so happy.
This left the coaches with a tough decision heading into the conference championships. Should they go with the runners who had performed best throughout the entire season? Should they give Hannah a chance to run on the varsity squad based on her last race? I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision especially since our team had a chance to win the event given a combination of great races by our best runners.
The race was Thursday, and we were waiting for word from the coaches as to which race Hannah would run – the Varsity race or the Junior Varsity race. Obviously, Hannah was hoping to run with the Varsity team, and she kept an optimistic outlook heading into the decision. On Wednesday afternoon, I received a text from Hannah, “Jv-so plan 2 win the race!”
What a positive attitude! I know I would have been disappointed, but she kept her chin up with the decision.
Thursday afternoon arrived, and she kept smiling. She definitely knew she had a chance to win the race, and she also realized her performance at the conference meet could still win her a spot on the Varsity team for the district meet later this week. The coaches seemed to think Hannah had a chance to win the race as well. They were excited for this possibility when they spoke to Leanne and I before the race.
The race started and Hannah moved towards the front of the pack in the first kilometer. She kept the lead and even extended the lead as the race continued. It was so exciting to watch Hannah throughout the race. She ran with grit and determination the whole race. When she broke the tape at the finish line, she was grinning from ear to ear. Her time of 21:08 beat the closed JV competitor by nearly 30 seconds, and it also would have been strong enough to medal in the Varsity race.
She did such a great job maintaining a positive attitude. She could have sulked and complained when the coaches made their decision to keep her at JV. She could have hung her shoulders in defeat. But she didn’t!
When the race finished, the coaches mentioned she would most likely be running with the Varsity team for the district meet on Friday. Obviously, Hannah’s running ability and hard work had a lot to do with this turn of events, and I think her positive attitude was a huge reason she reached this goal. I can’t wait for Friday!
How has a positive attitude helped you succeed in reaching a goal?
Wedding Reminder
This summer, Leanne and I attended the wedding of my boss’s daughter. She is a couple of weeks older than my little brother, Erik. But I definitely felt like I was on the older side of those in attendance.
There were several comical things that happened during the wedding that I may explore at a later point. I just wanted to capture a couple of thoughts related to my observations of my boss. He lost his wife just over 3 years ago (another topic to explore later). It was so great to see him and the whole family happy.
My boss did an incredible job walking his daughter down the aisle. He did a great job welcoming everyone to the reception. And his part in the father/daughter dance left all the fathers of daughters in the room with our jaws dropped. There’s no way most of us can compete with the show he and his daughter put on for this dance.
When I started with the company more than 17 1/2 years ago, his daughter was a little girl. Time certainly flies. Now while I still have several years to go before Hannah reaches this milestone, I’m realizing more and more how quickly the time will fly. I want to make the most of each and every opportunity I have with my kids. I don’t want there to be any regret.
For this reason, my run the next morning with Hannah was a little extra special for me. We didn’t set any land speed records. We didn’t even talk all that much. It was just nice to be together.
May I always remember to enjoy each moment with my kids.
God, Thank You for Hannah. Thank You for giving me such an amazing daughter. Be with her as she grows and continues to develop into the woman You are calling her to become. Thank You for her spirit of generosity and compassion. Thank You for her incredible intelligence and her outstanding work ethic. And thank You for the reminder to make the most of each moment with her. Be with the bride and groom as they start their lives together. Help them to grow and know You deeper every day. Help them to have happy and healthy lives, and help them to have an impact on this world that far out lives them and their marriage. Finally God, I ask that You prepare Leanne and I for the milestones to come with our children in the days and years ahead.
If you are a parent, how are you being intentional this week? How do you prepare for these milestones? How do you celebrate these milestones?
8 Ways To Build A Hedge Of Protection Around Our Teenagers
We’re approaching a parenting milestone later this year. Our daughter, Hannah, will be able to get her driver’s permit towards the end of the calendar year. It’s a bit scary to imagine our little girl behind the wheel of a car.
Over the Easter weekend, I had a chance to talk with my Grandpa who lives in the Midwest. Our conversation was filled with updates on our family and the activities that keep us running from one thing to the next. At the end of our conversation as always, my Grandpa prayed for our family. He inquired about things in our family that could use prayer. The subject of Hannah’s driver’s permit came up, and Grandpa specifically prayed that God would put His hedge of protection around Hannah and our family as we navigate these times. He recalled a verse from Job 1 indicating that God put a hedge of protection around Job and his family:
“Have you [God] not put a hedge around him [Job] and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.” Job 1:10
The teenage years can be pretty challenging. Kids in the age group are faced with pressures from peers like never before. They are faced with a world full of media that points people away from God and toward themselves and stars who are undeserving of such adoration.
As parents, we play a huge role in creating a hedge for our children. It can be such a tough thing to do – to create realistic and appropriate boundaries while fostering independence and responsible decision-making. We want the best for our kids. We want them to experience things that we never experienced, and we want them to have the things we never had. In the pursuit of providing the best for our kids, we can overlook the ultimate purpose in our parenting – to point our kids towards God, His Son, and His Word.
8 Ways To Build A Hedge Of Protection Around Our Teenagers:
- Keep God first in your own life. We must lead by example. If we expect our kids to follow God, we must seek Him first. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
- Place God’s Word at the foundation of your family. There are tons of great parenting resources today, but the Bible has to be primary resource for everything in life. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6-9
- Pray like you mean it – like it depends on God. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16
- Learn that ‘no’ doesn’t have to be a negative word. Parents these days are bent on becoming their kid’s best friend. We are scared that saying no to our kids will somehow damage them. Saying no is part of creating a hedge.
- Lean into the tough conversations. I learned this week that the best conversations can sometimes be the toughest conversations. Talking about tough things provides an opportunity to help your teenager process and establish their world view. These conversations help our kids navigate and discover the truth.
- Find the strategic opportunities to demonstrate trust. At some point, our kids will be on their own. We will release our kids like an arrow leaving a bow-string. If we aim them towards the Target, we need to trust that the arrow will fly straight. Spreading their wings doesn’t have to be an all at once thing. It works best as baby steps.
- Be a constant student of parenting. Find parents who have gone on before you. Learn from their experiences. Seek out resources that will teach you how to be a parent who honors God.
- Balance truth and grace. Our kids will make plenty of mistakes (just like we did). We must teach them truth, and show them grace. We must show them love. Love speaks truth, and love shows grace.
Are you a parent? How do you protect your kids? What did your parents do to point you towards God, His Son, and His Word?
S-E-X on the Big Blue Bus (A Guest Post by Shawn Smucker)
Today, I have the privilege of presenting guest blogger, Shawn Smucker. Shawn is a fellow blogger from the great state of Pennsylvania. I have enjoyed connecting with Shawn over the last year or so. His writing is inspiring and thought-provoking. Today is a special day for Shawn as his newest book officially releases today. How To Use A Runaway Truck Ramp is a collection of thoughts and stories from the adventure of a lifetime that he took with his family last year in a big blue bus. After reading Shawn’s post below, consider picking up the new book. You won’t be disappointed.
The woman who still feels like a girl sometimes tires of digging through the bottom of the bus for the kids’ shoes or wondering if the next Laundromat will have a change machine. The man who still feels like a boy is weary of emptying the waste tank and worrying about getting the bus stuck. The third month of a four-month trip is the 21st mile of a marathon.
The woman looks for a movie for the kids while the man makes popcorn. She bends over and sweeps Legos out of the way, then opens the small drawer under the couch. The man pinches her butt. She laughs and looks over her shoulder.
“What movie are you picking, Mom?” one of the four kids shouts.
They have been in very close quarters for over ninety days. Moments of intimacy for the parents are few and far between. The man gives the woman a signal.
Meet me in the back in two minutes.
They walk back the long bus hall, closing the two doors. They are giddy, like high schoolers trying to find a place to park late at night. Unfortunately, the bedroom door has a gaping hole in the bottom where a large vent used to be, so the man blocks it with an oversized plastic storage container. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She moves the dirty clothes on to the floor, and he jumps into bed. More Legos greet him, like tiny sea urchins. They sigh and pull back the sheets and pick out the Legos and doll clothes and Matchbox cars.
When the bed is clear, they lay down. He smiles. She smiles. He kisses her. Then, they hear the tiniest of voices from the other side of the storage bin blocking the door. He looks over his shoulder, and a small head peaks up through the narrow space.
“Guysh, what are you doing?” It is their four-year old. She has long blond hair and blue eyes, and her s’s come out like sh’s (think Sid from Ice Age). She wants a drink. The man shakes his head in disbelief.
“How do you even fit through there?” he asks, walking toward the door.
“Are you guysh naked in there?” she asks them.
He tries not to laugh. She keeps asking questions.
“Did you lock the door sho that no one would shee you when you’re naked?” she asks again.
“I wish,” he says, leaning down and pushing her head gently back through the vent. “Now, go ask your brother for a drink. And don’t come back in here until the door is open. Understand?”
“Of coursh.”
He goes back to the bed and lies down beside the woman. And suddenly the woman and man are boy and girl again. They look at each other – she giggles, and he laughs. They hold hands and stare at the ceiling. She suddenly remembers, in the time it takes a lightning bug to flash on and off, that this is the greatest adventure of their life together. He recalls the first time they held hands in that movie theatre in Camp Hill, PA. He remembers how he hadn’t wanted to be anywhere but there.
They hear the voices of their children in the front of the bus: how’d it happen so fast? How could those two people holding hands fifteen years before be in any way connected to these very different but same people, holding hands in Yellowstone while their four children argue over popcorn rights in the front of the bus?
Outside, a few miles away, herds of bison and elk wander through Haydn Valley. A bear swims through icy Yellowstone River, her cub following desperately behind. Downstream, water crashes through the gorge, wearing away another layer of time.
But in the big blue bus, for just a moment, time has stopped.
(This piece first appeared at Tamara Out Loud)
When was the last time you felt like time had stopped? How has parenting been different than what you imagined?
Shawn Smucker is the author of How to Use a Runaway Truck Ramp and Building a Life Out of Words. He lives in Lancaster County, PA with his wife Maile and their four children. You can find him on Twitter and Facebook, and he blogs (almost) daily at shawnsmucker.com Maile blogs at mailesmucker.blogspot.com
Be Intentional TODAY – (How Did 15 Years Go So Fast?)
15 years goes by so fast!
Yesterday, we celebrated Hannah’s 15th birthday. She was able to relax at home thanks to a day off from school. To celebrate, we went out for dinner to an Asian restaurant nearby and for dessert at Dairy Queen. When we arrived home we watched home movies for a while. We watched Hannah as she could barely roll over. We watched her dedication service. And we watched her during her first year as a big sister.
Through the videos, I was reminded that Hannah has a double portion of grace. Hannah means gracious, and her middle name is Grace. I was reminded that Hannah has always had a fairly calm and steady personality. Even as a baby, she was pretty content much of the time. I was reminded that she is a leader. I get to see that more now, but it was obvious through the videos that this quality was already developing when Hannah was three years old as she directed her brother around the house.
It’s hard to believe that Hannah has moved into high school this year. It’s crazy to imagine that she could start driving with a permit in a year. And it’s unbelievable to think that she will be looking at colleges before long. We try to plan appropriately for upcoming events and changes, but I’ve also learned that it’s important not to get too wrapped up in the worries of the future. We need to make the most of the current opportunities that we are experiencing.
One of my favorite verses come from Ephesians:
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16
This verse is about the urgency of the message we have to proclaim about Jesus Christ. We certainly need to make the most of every opportunity we have to share our faith with those who are far from God. We need to be wise in how we live, so we set the best example and point people in the right direction.
I think this verse also applies to our relationships with our friends and family. It’s easy to let the busyness of life hijack our time with our kids. We can get so busy running from one activity to the next or trying to climb the corporate ladder that we forget to be intentional with the moments we have in the present. Before we know it, our kids are teenagers.
These 15 years have gone by quickly, and I’m sure the next 15 will seem like a blur as well. I want to make the most of every opportunity.
Happy Birthday, Sweetie! Thanks for changing our lives forever.
What are you doing today? How will you be intentional with the time you have today with family and friends?
How Can I Do Better? – Reflections From A Parent/Teacher Conference
Last night, we attended a parent/teacher conference for our son. As a middle school student, Isaac also had the opportunity to participate in the conference as well. Isaac had just finished up his first marking period of seventh grade. He did remarkably well (proud Dad moment) achieving straight A’s.
The conferences were optional yet we decided to scheduled a meeting with his core teachers. For Leanne and I, it was an opportunity to listen to additional feedback – to hear where Isaac is excelling and to her where Isaac could grow or improve. Naturally, the feedback from his teachers was all great to hear. And at the end of the conference, they provided an opportunity for us to ask questions.
Isaac asked his teachers this question, “How can I do better?”
This is a pretty powerful question if you’re serious about getting a true response. Just because we did “well” doesn’t mean we can’t get better. I like this philosophy. When I was in an active design engineering role at my company, I used to ask the installers and the start-up technicians these types of questions. “How can I improve my design next time to make your installation easier or to make your start-up activities go more efficiently?” I learned so much by asking questions like this. As a manager now, I need to keep asking these questions. I want to be the best manager possible to help my team succeed and to help my team members achieve their personal career targets.
Isaac’s teachers gave him some great feedback in response to his question. They told him to speak up and to take a more active leadership role in group activities. They encouraged him to be more creative in some of his assignments. And they reaffirmed that he was already doing a great job. Then the teachers turned the tables on Isaac by asking their own follow-up question, “How can we do a better job helping you?” Isaac had to think about this question. What a great conference to attend! It was so neat to see students and teachers discussing ways to get better. What an example for all of us!
And so, I’d like to ask a couple of questions. I hope you’ll give me honest and constructive feedback. It’s part of the STRETCHING process. I value your feedback!
How can I better serve you – The Stretched Community? What thoughts can you share to help me improve my writing and The Stretched Blog? What topics would you like me to cover more often? Less often? What’s working well? What’s not working so well?
Another Family Milestone – Our Daughter Heads to High School
Today marks a huge milestone in our family. Hannah, our daughter and oldest child, starts high school. How did that happen?
Are we as parents ready for this? I’m not sure.
Is Hannah ready? That’s another story. She’s definitely ready!
She’s been practicing with the cross-country team for several weeks. And she ran her first couple of scrimmage meets this past week.
She had already moved up to the high school youth group at church. This move-up made her eligible to participate in the missions trip to Guatemala a month ago. It was in Guatemala where it was made clear that she is ready for this transition. She mixed in with the rest of the upperclassmen. She knew as much or more Spanish than anyone else on the trip, and she was able to stand on the same level spiritually with the other kids on the trip.
There was a moment on the trip that will forever be etched in my memory. In this moment, Hannah stood on her own as a caring, compassionate young woman. When we finished building the house, our group held a dedication service with the family. At this service, we gave the family the keys to the house. We gave them a Bible signed by our team. And we prayed with them. At one point, Hannah pulled out her notebook. I didn’t know this was coming (and I’m not sure if anyone else knew either). Hannah had written out several words to share with the family. I’m not sure what these words were since my Spanish is pretty weak, but I could tell the family was impressed and touched by what Hannah shared with them.
Photo by Kaleigh Rank: The moment that will be etched in my memory forever.
And so, we arrive at today – her first day of high school. I have such confidence and hope in Hannah’s future. I know she’ll have her ups and downs. But I’m a proud parent. I’m thankful for this day! I can’t wait to see what happens in Hannah’s next four years.
Do you remember your first year in high school? How about your first day? What do you remember about being a freshman?
Repost: Lemons Into Lemonade
This week, I’m going on vacation with my family. I thought I’d take this opportunity to republish some old posts from the archives. Feel free to leave comments here or on the original post. Enjoy, I’ll be back next week!
Today’s post was originally posted in September 2010. Most of the text comes from a devotional that we were using with our son, Isaac. The truths still apply today.
I just had to share the thoughts from Isaac’s devotion for yesterday:
Have you ever heard someone say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?”
As goofy as it sounds, this saying holds a lot of truth. First, it says that life will hand you lemons. It doesn’t say if, and it doesn’t say life might hand you lemons. It says when.
Lemons are the bad things that happen in life. Maybe a pet dies. Maybe your best friend decides not to be your friend anymore. Perhaps you’re not treated fairly by a teacher. Whatever it is, you’ll have to face your share of lemons in life.
The second part of that saying is the hardest to follow – “make lemonade.” In other words, take the bad things that happen and make the best of them. Look for the positives. Find the good part.
Sometimes finding the good part is really difficult. When a friend turns her back on you, it hurts. Sure, you can make other friends. But it hurts right now. Making lemonade is probably the last thing you want to do. That’s why it may be a good idea to add another sentence to that saying: “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. And God is the ultimate lemonade maker.”
God can take the worst situations in your life and make something good from them. At first, you may find it hard to see the good, but over time you’ll look back and see how God turned bad things to positive experiences in your life. And here’s the best part: while you’re waiting for God to make things better, you can hide in him. Use that time to get to know him better. Take comfort that God love you, cares for you, and can use bad things to make you stronger and more like him. When things get tough, look to God and take comfort in his strength.
Psalm 141:8 But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge….
What’s going on in your life that needs to be transformed from lemons to lemonade?
The Stretched Blog Visits Some Wise Guy
Today, I’m honored to be guest blogging over at Some Wise Guy. Some Wise Guy is a blog written by K.C. Procter where he explores the everyday thoughts of being a dad. Here’s an excerpt from my post, titled Don’t Blink. Please head over to K.C.’s blog to read the rest of the post and to see what else is going on at Some Wise Guy. Drop K.C. a comment and tell him that I sent you.
Time flies when you’re a dad. Don’t blink!
I’ve been a dad for over fourteen years now, and I often feel like it’s been just fourteen days since my daughter joined our family. This past week, I watched her graduate from middle school. It literally seems like yesterday when we put her on the bus for her first day of kindergarten. I remember her excitement and her little brother’s sadness as she climbed on the bus with her very own backpack and her big smile.
What’s going on in your life right now that is moving too fast? How about something that’s moving too slow?
(For those of you looking for this week’s Ice Breaker, stay tuned to The Stretched Blog over the weekend. We’ll see what we can do!)
3 Thumbs Up! June 16th, 2012
This week’s 3 Thumbs Up! post has a dad flair. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
Thumbs Up Number 1: Some Wise Guy (tidbits from the trenches of fatherhood). This is an excellent blog by K.C. Procter. I’ve been following K.C. and his blog for a while now. Over the past few months, he really narrowed the focus of his blog to fatherhood. It’s been fun to see his passion and commitment to his family shine through the pages of his blog. This week he’s featuring several guest bloggers who you may recognize. Check out Some Wise Guy. Stop by and leave a comment. Tell K.C. that I sent you!
Thumbs Up Number 2: Dad Life. Just watch the video. You’ll see why this deserves a thumbs up.
Thumbs Up Number 3: Christlink. This is a blog by my dad. He doesn’t write on it every day, but he continues to add things through the add-on pages that you can reach via his navigation menu. His additional pages include sermon notes, a writing workshop, thoughts on being an interim pastor, and a page he calls pilgrim path. My dad has been a huge influence on my writing career from high school to now. Drop by his blog and see what I’m talking about.
What else deserves a thumbs up this week?