Confessions Of A Leader Who Struggles With Delegation

“I can do it all by myself!”

These are the words I proudly proclaimed to my parents as early as I can remember.  Even at an early age, I longed for independence and control.  Even then, I resisted the need to ask for help.

I’ve been writing about delegation for the past two weeks, but the honest truth is I’m learning about the topic along the way.  And much of my education on the subject of delegation is coming from failures I’ve made as a leader.

I struggle to trust others to properly handle the items on my plate which could easily be delegated.

I don’t want to give up control in fear the outcome won’t measure up to the standards I have created.

I remember in high school planning a missions trip to Rochester, NY with one of my good friends.  We could have shared responsibilities with others, but I seem to remember holding these responsibilities close to my chest.  I wanted to make sure every detail of the trip was perfect.

A few years ago, I chaperoned a missions trip to Guatemala.  As part of this trip, I was responsible for a group of five teenagers during our work projects.  Several times throughout our days of working, I had to stop myself from trying to do the work all by myself.  After all, the trip was meant to give the teenagers experience in the missions field.  It turns out these teenagers were far more capable than I gave initially judged.  They built a house for a family using hand tools, power tools, and brute force.  They also installed eleven-piece stoves in the homes of widows with little assistance from me.  It was a good lesson for me.  When I delegate, things happen beyond my wildest expectations.

At work, I have to delegate projects to my team members in order to free myself up for my management responsibilities.  I wish I could say I always get it right when I do this, but there are times I either over manager or under manage.  I’m learning.

I have the hardest time delegating at home.  My kids need to learn by doing various jobs around the house, but I don’t get this right more times than I care to admit.  I lack the patience to wait for my kids to learn and follow through on tasks I should delegate to them.  I fail to take the time to explain my expectations.  And I miss out on many opportunities to invite my kids into the things that need to happen around our house.  When asked to address a problem, I fix it all by myself instead of getting my wife and kids in on the action of resolving the problem.

I miss out on so many opportunities to delegate.  And it’s not good for me or the people who I lead.

Maybe, I’m being a little hard on myself, but this too is part of my nature.

I want to be a great boss, a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, and a dynamic, effective leader.  If these are really my targets, it’s time I learn to delegate.

The great thing is I don’t have to wait to know it all, and I don’t have to remain stuck in my delegation failures.  Today is a brand new day.  With each new day comes the opportunity to start fresh.

Do you struggle with delegation like me?

It’s okay.  You are not alone.  Let’s decide together to be the leaders we were meant to be.  Let’s learn how to delegate starting today!

What is your biggest struggle when it comes to delegating?

11 Keys To Delegation Success

Yesterday, we learned what not to do when it comes to delegation (click HERE to read yesterday’s post).  Today, we’ll learn how to delegate successfully.  Here are eleven keys to doing delegation right:

11 Keys To Delegation Success

1. Determine and define the task you want or need to delegate.  Go through the list of things you would like to accomplish.  Make a list of which things you need to do and another list of things that others could do.  Once you determine what things others could do for you, take time to define the task you want or need to delegate.  This will help as you continue onto the next steps in delegation.
2. Select qualified people to execute the task.  Picking the right people to delegate a task to is critical to your success and their success.  If you pick someone who is overqualified, he will likely become bored and disenfranchised.  If you pick someone who is significantly under-qualified, he will likely become frustrated.
3. Provide training if necessary.  Part of the delegation process involves getting your team up to speed with the skills and knowledge they will need to complete your request.  This takes planning on the part of the leader, but it will be worth it in making sure delegation is done correctly.
4. Demonstrate confidence in your team.  This may take some time, but it’s so important that your team knows you trust them.  If you are looking over their shoulder all the time, they will begin to wonder if they can really perform the delegated task.
5. Clarify the task, the reasons for the task, and the desired outcomes of the task.  It’s essential to make sure your team members clearly understand what they are doing and why they are doing it.  They also need to understand the expected outcome and the deadline for completing the task.  If you don’t clarify these details, your team may flounder about for a while not realizing your expectations.
6. Provide appropriate authority to your team.  When you delegate a task to your team, they must understand they are now empowered to make decisions necessary to complete the task.  If they keep coming back to you over and over again asking you to make decisions, they are wasting your time and their time.
7. Resist the urge to tell your team how to execute the task.  Part of delegation involves letting go of your desire to control every detail.  Your team will learn more effectively by figuring it out themselves.  Not only does this help with the present task at hand but it better prepares your team for the future.
8. Provide appropriate supervision.  Each of your team members most likely needs to be managed a little differently.  Make sure you alter your supervision style to fit their follow through style.
9. Provide opportunities for check points while the task is being executed.  Regular check points will help your team know if they are on the right track towards completing the delegated task.
10. Let your team fail.  Your team will learn from their failures.  It’s essential you let them fail occasionally as this helps them learn for the future.  This may be an inconvenience to the leader who delegates in the short-term, but it will pay off over the long-term.
11. Provide feedback when the delegated task is complete.  When the task is complete, it’s important to tell your team how they did.  If they did well, appropriate praise and gratitude will encourage continued diligence when you delegate to them in the future.  If they did poorly, they need to know so they can make the necessary adjustments for the future.

How have you experienced delegation success?  What delegation steps would you add to the list above?

8 Things To Avoid When Delegating

We learn best from our failures.  When you touch a hot stove, you burn your fingers.  Lesson learned:  Don’t touch a hot stove.

When it comes to delegation, we can learn a lot by studying our delegation failures.  I’ve had plenty of opportunity to mess thing up when it comes to the topic of delegation.  Here are eight things I learned through my delegation failures:

8 Things To Avoid When Delegating

1. Don’t micromanage.  When you delegate work to someone, let them do it.  When you hang over their shoulder, you exhibit a lack of confidence in their ability to perform the task at hand.
2. Don’t under-manage.  When you delegate work to someone, don’t forget to check-in.  Your team or delegate may have questions or may need a little clarification from time to time.  It’s okay to let them figure it out for themselves for a little while, but don’t let them flounder to long.  This can be just as discouraging as micromanaging.
3. Don’t follow the example of poor leaders.  If you had a leader who delegated poorly or not at all, learn from them.  Then avoid the delegation mistakes they made.
4. Don’t get too far away from those you lead.  It’s easy to forget what it might be like on the front lines.  Take a lead from the hit television show Undercover Boss, and stay tuned into what your employees are up against.  As leaders we have to have empathy for our team members.
5. Don’t delegate the same way to everyone.  Each of your team members is different, and they most likely need to be handled differently.
6. Don’t try to do it all yourself.  You will stress yourself out.  You will burn-out.  And you will lose the interest of your team.  Ultimately, you will fail.
7. Don’t set clear expectations when you delegate.  When your team isn’t told what they are supposed to accomplish, they will fail to meet your expected outcomes.  This includes deadlines.  If your delegate doesn’t now when to have the assignment complete, they may never complete the assignment.
8. Don’t provide feedback on the results.  Don’t leave your delegate wondering if he did a good job or a bad job.  They need to know, so they can perform appropriately the next time you delegate to them.

Do you resonate with any of these?  What have you learned from your delegation failures?  What would you add to the list above?

13 Delegation Quotes

In the process of studying the top of delegation, I came across these quotes worth sharing:

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men and women to do what he wants done and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”

Teddy Roosevelt

“It’s amazing what can be accomplished by any person if he doesn’t care who gets the credit.”

Sign on Ronald Reagan’s desk

“Delegation is an issue of respect and how much we respect those that are under us on our team.”

Dr. Hans Finzel

“Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don’t interfere as long as the policy you’ve decided upon is being carried out.“

Ronald Reagan

“You can delegate authority, but you cannot delegate responsibility.“

Byron Dorgan

“The inability to delegate is one of the biggest problems I see with managers at all levels.“

Eli Broad

“When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.“

James H. Boren

“I don’t have a problem with delegation. I love to delegate. I am either lazy enough, or busy enough, or trusting enough, or congenial enough, that the notion leaving tasks in someone else’s lap doesn’t just sound wise to me, it sounds attractive.“

John Ortberg

“You walk into the class in second grade. You can’t read. What are you going to do if you’re going to make it? You identify the smart kid. You make friends with him. You sit next to him. You grow a team around you. You delegate your work to others. You learn how to talk your way out of a tight spot.“

Malcolm Gladwell

“I find that many entrepreneurs are trying to do everything when it would be cheaper and more time-efficient to delegate, even if there are monetary costs associated with that.“

James Altucher

“The first rule of management is delegation. Don’t try and do everything yourself because you can’t.“

Anthea Turner

“People and organizations don’t grow much without delegation and completed staff work because they are confined to the capacities of the boss and reflect both personal strengths and weaknesses.“

Stephen Covey

“Delegation is giving others the opportunity to participate in the story.  If you have a good story, people will line up to get involved – to play a part in the story.”

4 Reasons Leaders Resist Delegating

“If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

Have you heard this before?  Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Unfortunately, many so-called leaders live by this statement.  This is a cop-out for failing to delegate.

The past two days, we kicked off a conversation about delegation.  On Monday, we established that many leaders deal with stress, exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy.  Yesterday, we offered delegation as a solution to overcoming these feelings.  Today, we’ll continue the conversation by looking at the potential downside of delegation.

Balance is required in order to delegate properly.  A leader should not micromanage, or he will fail to empower his team.  On the other hand, a leader should not fail to manage, or he will lose respect and ultimately control of his team.  When the scales are tipped one way or the other, a leaders efforts to lead through delegation will fail.

I don’t think of myself as a micro-manager, and I don’t believe I under manage most of the time either, but I don’t always get the delegation thing down right.  In fact, I am someone who fails to delegate.  And I believe I’m not alone.  Too many leaders fail, because they fail to delegate.  This has to change.  Before it will change, we must gain a better understanding of the factors which cause leaders to resist delegating.

Here are the 4 primary reasons leaders don’t delegate which I have learned from my own experience:

4 Reasons Leaders Resist Delegating

1. Pride.  Many leaders fail to delegate, because they don’t want to give up their authority.  They also don’t want to dilute the credit they will get for a job well done.  Leaders take pride in their work, and they simply don’t want to put the outcome in the hands of others.
2. Selfishness.  Leaders are selfish when they don’t want to “waste” the time to delegate.  Delegation takes time to request the desired outcome, establish the boundaries and deadlines, and to provide appropriate feedback.  Leaders are sometimes too stingy with their time and information.
3. Fear.  What happens if the outcome doesn’t measure up to expectations?  What happens if the outcome is better than expected?  Either way, leaders fear they will look bad with a poor outcome or by being out-classed by a team member.  They do not want to lose their place in the organization, and this fear can paralyze leaders from delegating appropriately.
4. Past experience.  Leaders resist delegating because they don’t know how to delegate – they haven’t been trained appropriately – or because they haven’t experienced good delegation from former leaders.

Why do you think leaders resist delegation?  What negative experiences do you have with delegation?

The Solution To Leadership Stress, Exhaustion, and Inadequacy – 6 Reasons Leaders Should Delegate

Being a leader isn’t always easy.

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.  Right?

If leadership stress, exhaustion, and inadequacy are common, there has to be a solution.

I’m sure we could point to many things that make leadership easier – getting more sleep, exercising regularly, reading, learning, and finding a mentor.  These are all valuable actions a leader can take to improve their leadership capabilities.  There another solution that too easily gets overlooked and sometimes misused.

Delegation is what I’m talking about.

I’m not talking about pawning off all the unpleasant tasks on someone else and acting as a dictator.  I’m talking about spreading out the work, so a leader and team can be more effective which will lead to less stress, less exhaustion, and a deeper feeling of adequacy and fulfillment.  Delegation is “the assignment of responsibility or authority to another person to carry out specific activities (Wikipedia).”

In yesterday’s post, we learned that Moses faced similar feelings of stress, exhaustion, and inadequacy.  His father-in-law, Jethro, saw what was going on, and he pointed out the problem to Moses.  As we continue the story in Exodus 18:19-27, we learn that Jethro had a solution to the problem he observed:

He recognized Moses’ role in leading the people of Israel, and he wisely recommended that Moses delegate his responsibilities to other men in the community – officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens.  These men judged the simpler cases, and they brought the more challenging cases to Moses.  This action led to less strain on Moses, and more satisfaction among the people of Israel.

It seems rather simple.  Spread the work out.  Ease the load of the leader.  Use the leadership talents of others in the community.  And make the community happier.

Why is delegation so important?

In today’s post, here are six reasons leaders should delegate:

6 Reasons Leaders Should Delegate

1. Delegation relieves stress and overload on the leader.  Leadership can be lonely, and it can be a heavy weight to bear alone.  Delegation disperses the weight, so the strain isn’t so great on any one person.
2. Delegation allows leaders and teams to get more accomplished in less time.  If a leader tries to do it all my himself, it will obviously take him longer.  “Many hands make light work.”  By getting more people involved, more can be accomplished.
3. Delegation frees up leaders for other tasks.  When a leader is overwhelmed, he will often miss out on other tasks he could and should be performing.  By delegating, a leader opens up time and energy for other priorities.
4. Delegation buildings a better team.  When a leader tries to do it all by himself, he demonstrates a lack of confidence in his team.  This will demoralize a team.  Delegation done right provides an opportunity to motivate your team.  It also provides an opportunity to develop the skills and abilities of team members which will ultimately lead to a better team.
5. Delegation generates more success.  When a leader gets others involved, he taps into the ideas and skills of other people who might otherwise be overlooked and underutilized.  When a team is used to its fullest, success is a natural byproduct.
6. Delegation prepares for the future.  A leader will not be around forever.  Eventually, he will retire or move on to another opportunity.  It is good stewardship for a leader to prepare the next in-line leaders.  Grooming successors is an essential part of delegating, and it’s the best way for a leader to leave a legacy.

If you want to overcome stress, exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy in your leadership, it’s time for you to start delegating.  Over the next few days, we’ll take a look at bad delegation and good delegation.  Come back tomorrow to continue the conversation.

Why is delegation important?  As a leader, how have you overcome stress, exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy?

Stressed, Exhausted, Inadequate Leader – You’re Not Alone

What does your “To Do List” look like?

Do you have trouble accomplishing everything on your list?

Do you feel like you can never catch up?

Do you feel like you are always behind?

Do you feel stressed out, exhausted, and inadequate?

Do you wish there was an easy way to fix all this, so you could feel more productive, more effective, and more relaxed?

I don’t think you are alone.  In fact, I think this is a problem that many leaders face today.  They take on so much responsibility that they end up burying themselves.  I don’t think it’s meant to be this way.  I think there is an answer.  Before we get there though, I think it’s valuable to see how we’re not alone in this.

If you are familiar with the story of Moses and the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt to The Promised Land, you may recall that Moses didn’t always have it together.  He was the leader of a whole nation, and he faced times of stress, exhaustion, and burn-out.

In Exodus 18:1-18, we see it more clearly:

Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, comes to visit Moses on the journey through the desert.  He brings Moses’ wife and children with him.  Moses had actually sent his family away, so he could focus on the task at hand – leading the nation of Israel.  During their visit, Moses shows Jethro everything the Lord has done for the people of Israel.  Jethro was thrilled with the news, but he began to notice a problem.  Moses spent all his time serving as judge for the people of Israel.  He heard every dispute, and he made every decision related to these disputes.  This was not a small task.  The people of Israel consisted of several hundred thousand people.  How could one man handle all this?  This was exactly the observation of Jethro.  No wonder Moses was facing burn-out.

I don’t know what your situation is right now.  Maybe you started the new year off with the best intentions and a long list of goals and tasks.  Maybe you are starting to feel the pressure and stress of trying to do too much.  If you are a leader (and I’m guessing you are), it’s time to do something about it.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be posting about how you can turn this around – how you can overcome the burden of having to do everything yourself.

As we get started, it’s a good opportunity to evaluate your current state of your leadership.

How would you answer the questions we started with today?  As a leader, have you ever felt overwhelmed?

5 Lessons I Learned By Studying The Life of Joshua

Seven years ago, a mentor of mine challenged me to study the life and character of Joshua.  I’m in the process of preparing for a speaking opportunity in which I’ll have the chance to talk about leadership, delegation, and leaving a legacy.  As I’ve been putting my thoughts together for my speech, I started thinking about the leadership path of Moses and Joshua, and I was reminded of this study.  I think we can learn a lot if we take time to dive in and learn.  Here’s what I learned by studying Joshua.

Joshua was the son of Nun (Ex. 33:11, Num. 11:28) from the tribe of Ephraim (Num. 13:8). He was born in Egypt into slavery.  His name was originally Hoshea (Num. 13:16), and Moses called him Joshua which means “Savior” or “the person by whom God will save.” This name is equivalent in the Greek to “Jesus” which also means “Savior.”   He lived for approximately the first 40 years of his life in Egypt in slavery. He lived in the wilderness with the Israelites for 40 years, and he lived in The Promised Land until he died at the age of 110 (Joshua 24:29). He probably lived during the late Bronze Age around 1200 B.C.

Joshua, then called Hoshea, was the commander of the first military campaign following the exodus from Egypt against the Amalekites (Ex. 17:8-16). Joshua was Moses’ right hand man. He was the only one who accompanied Moses on his visit up Mount Sinai (Ex. 24:12-13). He also was responsible for staying in the Tent of Meeting during the Israelites time in the wilderness (Ex 33:7-11). He was one of the 12 spies initially sent out to see Canaan (Num. 13:1, 8). He along with Caleb was one of the only two spies to bring back a positive report (Num. 14:6-8).

Joshua was appointed the leader of the Israelites by Moses after 40 years of mentoring in the wilderness, and he led the Israelites into the Promised Land (Deut. 31:1-8). He was also responsible for dividing up the land amongst the tribes of Israel (Joshua 13:8-21:45).

Joshua was reliable. This was obvious in the responsibilities that Moses heaped upon Joshua during his life and as he approached his death. Joshua was a strong leader. In Joshua 1:16, the Israelites committed themselves to following Joshua just as they had followed Moses. Joshua was a man of faith. Joshua’s positive report after spying in the land of Canaan provides an example of Joshua’s faith (Num. 14:6-8). Joshua stood up for what was right even if it seemed ridiculous as exemplified in the fall of Jericho (Joshua 5:13-6:27). He was dedicated to doing the right thing as was obvious through his response to Achan who disobeyed God’s instructions for the defeat of Jericho (Joshua 7:1-26). Joshua was humble before the Lord (Joshua 7:6-9; 8:30-31). He knew that God was responsible for his success and the success of the Israelites. Finally, I’m convinced that Joshua was strong and courageous. Multiple times Joshua is either told to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6,7,9) or he his encouraging the Israelites to be strong and courageous as they enter the Promised Land, and his final remarks even demonstrate this commitment to strength and courage (Joshua 23:6).

Joshua may have been a people pleaser. Despite God’s earlier instruction to completely destroy all the Canaanites, he caved into the lies and wishes of the Gibeonites and permitted them to live in the Promised Land alongside the Israelites (Joshua 9:1-27).

Overall, Joshua had a positive impact on others. He was the leader who helped the Israelites realize the promises originally given to Abraham. He led in a fair way and in a direct way.

(Obviously, Joshua had a negative impact on the Canaanites as they were almost completely destroyed by the Israelites under Joshua’s leadership.)

Joshua had a close relationship with God similar to his predecessor, Moses. Throughout the book of Joshua, it states “The Lord said to Joshua…” (Joshua 1:1; 3:7; 4:15; 5:2,9; 6:2; 7:10; 8:1; 11:6; 13:1; 20:1)

Overall, Joshua’s spiritual life seems to be fairly consistent. As indicated in the references above, he seemed to be in close communion with God. But Joshua was human, his spiritual life or connection with God seemed to be on vacation when he made the treaty with the Gibeonites. He relied on the feedback from his fellow Israelites instead of consulting with the Lord.

Joshua died at the age of 110 (which was considered the perfect age by the Egyptians – see the death of Joseph in Genesis 50:22-26). He provided a beautiful sendoff speech before he died (Joshua 23); however, he failed the Israelites by not bringing up a successor. Unlike Moses who apparently planned for what would happen when he passed on (Deut. 31:1-8), Joshua left Israel without a leader. This would soon lead to Israel’s decline and departure from God’s ways (Judges 2:10-15).

“As Josephus puts it in an editorial comment (Ant. 3.49) which has no biblical basis, Joshua possessed five crucial qualities: He was extremely courageous, valiant in endurance of toil, highly gifted in intellect, highly gifted in speech, and distinguished for piety in worshiping God.  Again, when summarizing his qualities upon Joshua’s death (5.188), Josephus singles out four qualities – his supreme intelligence, his supreme skill in speaking lucidly to the multitude, his stout-heartedness and great daring, and his utmost dexterity in directing affairs in peacetime and his adaptability to every occasion.” (Feldman, Louis H. “Josephus’s Portrait of Joshua.” The Harvard Theological Review, Vol. 82, No. 4 (Oct., 1989), pp. 351-376.)

Joshua, the son of Nun, from the tribe of Ephraim, was a military commander of the Israelites, faithful servant and apprentice of Moses, consistent leader of the Israelites, and a humble and faithful servant of the Lord. He left Egypt along with the rest of the Israelites after years of slavery, and he entered the wilderness with an anticipation of the Promised Land like few others. He patiently served the Israelite nation for 40 years as the right hand man of Moses. He succeeded Moses, as the leader of Israel, and he deliberately led the people of Israel into the land of Canaan destroying the Canaanites and establishing Israel in the land that had been promised to them through Abraham. He followed God’s commands directly revealed to him and directed to him through Moses and the Law of Moses.

5 Lessons I Learned By Studying The Life of Joshua

I have learned several things by studying Joshua.

1. Leadership development takes time. Moses mentored Joshua for 40 years in the wilderness before Joshua took over.
2. Developing leaders is important in continuing the legacy. Moses did an excellent job of this, but Joshua perhaps missed the boat on this by not bringing up a successor.
3. Doing the right thing and standing up for it is always best.
4. Keeping a positive attitude is essential to successful leadership.
   • Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. I Corinthians 9:24
   • Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
   • I believe this is the kind of attitude that Joshua had as he approached the Promised Land, and I believe that we as followers of Christ and as leaders need to have this attitude as we seek to fully follow Christ.
5. Keep God first in everything.  Joshua did this through most of his leadership, and God caused him to succeed.  Whether or not we succeed in man’s eyes, we as leaders need to keep God first in everything.

I’m glad I looked back at my notes.

What else do you think we could learn from Joshua?

If you could ask Joshua one question, what would you ask him?

7 Ways To Listen More Effectively

Listening is a major habit leaders must develop if they want to take their leadership to the next level.

Here are a few reasons listening matters:

• Listening shows others we care about them and about what they are saying.  It’s rude when we don’t give our team members our full attention when they are speaking with us.  When we stop what we are doing and pay attention, it demonstrates we value our team members.
• Listening often provides information we need to know.  I depend on my team members to handle their projects and tasks as independently as possible; however, there are times when I need to be in the loop on key details.  If I don’t take the time to listen to my team members, I may miss out on information necessary to make sure we are making the best decisions.
• Listening helps us understand our team members better.  We are not leading teams of robots.  We are leading individual people.  Each of them have different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses, and different challenges.  When we listen, we are better equipped to help our individual team members.  As leaders, we are servants, and we serve best when we have taken time to listen and understand those we serve – this includes our team members.
• Listening minimizes the opportunity for us to say something stupid.  If we are really listening, our ears are open and our mouths are closed.  When we keep our mouths shut, we can’t say something we will regret.  This doesn’t mean we should never speak up.  I simply believe it is important to develop the discipline of listening before we speak.

Why do you think listening matters?

Improving your listening skills takes practice.  Here are some practical tips for taking your listening to the next level.

7 Ways To Listen More Effectively

1. Turn off distractions.  Put your cell phone aside.  Shut the lid on your laptop.  And put your desk phone on “do not disturb.”  We live in a world of distractions.  It takes effort and intentionality on our parts to put these aside, so our conversations are not high-jacked.
2. Face the person who is speaking.  You are more likely to really hear what someone is saying when you see their eyes, observe their expressions, and tune in.  This cannot fully happen if you aren’t looking at the person who is talking to you.
3. Repeat what you heard and ask for confirmation or clarification.  Sometimes we don’t hear what are people are really saying.  Briefly rehashing the conversation provides the opportunity to make sure the speaker has been heard correctly.
4. Take notes.  I try to take notes when necessary to help me process and remember the key details of a conversation.  The notes shouldn’t be a distraction from the conversation.  You may need to take notes immediately following the conversation.  I have found this helps in my follow through with any action items that come out of a conversation.  My team members know I am listening when they see me following up on something that came up during our conversation.
5. Try not to cross your arms (or your legs).  I have heard it said that this sends the wrong message.  Crossing your arms signals to the speaker that we may be defensive about what is being shared.  Uncrossing our arms and opening up subconsciously indicates that we are listening.
6. Focus on the speaker.  Don’t think about your next meeting.  Don’t be too quick to think about the resolution to your team members problems.  Don’t listen to other conversations going on around you.  Be present in the conversation.  I easily fall into the trap of thinking to far down the road or even trying to be a part of more than one conversation at the same time.  This doesn’t work.  Focus on one person at a time.
7. If necessary, ask the person for a moment to write notes on what you were doing before they came into your office.  You may be in the middle of a sentence or thought, and it’s helpful to finish it before you move into the conversation.  I listen better when I’m not distracted by what I was trying to accomplish before the conversation.

Listening matters, and it’s a discipline we must all practice especially if we want to take our leadership to the next level.

What helps you listen more effectively?

When A Team Member Retires…

On Friday, one of my team members retired.

The day was spent cleaning up a few loose ends related to the projects he had been supporting, cleaning his office, having lunch with a few co-workers, and filling out the final pieces of paperwork required to make his retirement official.  In the afternoon, we gathered in the lunch room with my other co-workers to honor my team member with cake, a gift, and a couple of cards.

My boss and I had the opportunity to share some thoughts our employee before we cut the cake.  And he followed it up with a few words.  For someone who is normally pretty tough, our office had the opportunity to see cracks in the armor as he held back tears while reflecting on his career and his departure.

Throughout the day, stories were shared about my team member and the impact he has had on our organization.  We laughed.  We smiled.  And we were even a little sad.

As he walked out the door at the end of the day, I watched him climb into his truck and head out of the parking lot.  It was bittersweet.  Despite many challenges, this team member had become a friend.  He sat next to me for the first year of my employment with the company, and he often provided input on how I should proceed with my own project challenges and opportunities.  I was sad to see him go, but I was so happy that he will have the opportunity to enter retirement with new horizons ahead.

Our employees spend a significant amount of time every day, every week, and every year at work.  This is part of life.  We need our customers to keep purchasing our products and services.  Without our customers, we would go out of business.  We rely on our stockholders who demonstrate their confidence in our ability to take their investment and turn it into something bigger.  These two – customers and stockholders – are critical to our businesses, but there is one more key ingredient that is absolutely essential for success.  We need our employees to make the wheels spin.  Our employees make it all happen.

And this is why it is so important to honor our employees and to treat them well.  I want my team members to feel respected.  I want them to feel good about their investment of time.  I want them to have solid relationships with their co-workers.

I believe there is a golden rule managers must follow:  Treat your employees the way you want to be treated.

In fact, treat your employees better than you’ve been treated.  Treat them even better than you expect to be treated.

I don’t know the details of your employment.  Maybe you have a tough boss or a tough team working for you.  Decide today to make a difference right where you are.  Be intentional as you relate to your teammates.  And make sure you celebrate their accomplishments and milestones.

How do you want to be remembered by your co-workers when you retire?  How does your company celebrate the accomplishments and milestones of their employees?  What is one thing you can do to make a difference for your co-workers?