The Blessing of Friends

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.

The movie tells the story of George Bailey.  After a series of events, he ends up staying in his hometown of Bedford Falls despite his desire to spread his wings and travel the world.  As the head of the Baily Building and Loan, George helps countless townspeople as they seek to own their own homes.

SPOILER ALERT:

About half way through the movie, George falls on tough times when his crazy uncle loses $8,000 of cash that was supposed to be deposited in the bank.  The loss sends George into a panic as he processes the potential prison sentence he may face for misappropriating funds.  At one point, George contemplates taking his own life.

Things start to change when George’s guardian angel, Clarence, steps in to help.  Through a creative approach, he shows George what the world might look like if he had never been born.  George begins to realize how much he cherishes his life.

When he finally comes to his senses, he returns home with a new attitude.  Upon arriving home, the townspeople flood his house with financial gifts to offset the lost $8,000.

Clarence leaves George with a copy of Tom Sawyer with a note inside that reads:

Dear George-:

Remember no man is a failure who has friends.

Thanks for the wings!

Love,

Clarence

I love this movie!

Yesterday, I was reminded of this truth in my own life.  I celebrated a birthday yesterday.  I’d like to say it was my 29th birthday (but it was really my 43rd birthday).

You may recall that I am a huge numbers guy.  I love to count things.  For some reason, I started counting the number of birthday wishes I received yesterday.  When I went to bed last night, I counted over 150 different people who wished me Happy Birthday!

I don’t state this to brag.  I mention it to reflect my appreciation for friends in my life.  I am blessed beyond measure by so many wonderful friendships.  Thank you!

How have you been blessed by your friends?

Made For A Purpose

Dear Isaac,

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you!  Cody has successfully completed his training at the Seeing Eye.  He has been placed with a man from Virgina.  The man travels extensively for his job and he came to the Seeing Eye for his fourth dog.  I did not have a chance to train them together but I was able to observe the team work and grow together.  The man was thrilled with Cody and was impressed with his calm demeanor, no-nonsense attitude, and his strong work ethic.  He was very thankful for the effort you put forth in raising him.

Cody was a great dog to train and I enjoyed the four months we spent together.  From the moment I met Cody I knew there was something special about him.  He always wanted to do the right thing and enjoyed putting the harness on to go to work.  I remember the trips to NYC and how the city was no big deal for him.  He loved Times Square and riding the subways.  His laid back attitude and his cautious work ethic made him a great dog to train.  I will always remember Cody and how he used to wait for me every morning in the kennel.  I will miss him.

I would like to thank you for the time and effort you put forth in raising Cody.  You did an excellent job.  It is your continued help and steadfast dedication that continue to make the Seeing Eye such a successful organization.  You have made a positive impact in someone’s life.  Cody is taking his first steps of an incredible journey with his new partner in travel.

Sincere thanks,

Jim Kessler

Leanne and I had the privilege of going up to the Seeing Eye in October to observe Cody’s town walk.  This is kind of like a final exam for Cody.  We couldn’t get close to Cody, but we were able to watch him from across the street and a distance behind him as he navigated the sidewalks of Morristown, NJ.  When we spoke with Jim, Cody’s trainer, he commented on how much Cody likes to work.  He essentially said that Cody was made for this.  He relishes in his purpose.  We could see this as we watched Cody from afar.

I know Cody is only a dog, but he provided great lessons for our family.  We learned patience and endurance as a result of having him in our house for his first year of life.  And we were reminded about the importance of pursuing our purpose for life.

My wife, Leanne, recently launched her life coaching business.  Her primary focus is helping women discover their purpose and to help them take the next steps in pursuing their purpose.  If you need helping discovering your purpose or you need some help discerning your next steps in pursuing this purpose, you should touch base with my wife.  For more information about Leanne and life coaching, visit her site by clicking here.

What is your purpose?  What are you doing about it?

Ice Breaker – Holiday Hope

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

This past Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent.  Many churches around the world celebrated Advent by lighting this first candle.  The first candle represents HOPE.  This provides the inspiration for today’s Ice Breaker.  Be sure to read a few more comments after my answer to today’s question.  Then leave your answer in the comment.

Question:  What are you hoping for this Christmas season?

My Answer:  I’m hoping for a Red Rider BB Gun.  Just kidding.  I’m hoping for some time off from work when I can rest, relax, recharge, and spend time with my family.  This is actually on my agenda for the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.  I value this time as it is often the time that I recalibrate myself before heading into the new year.

Many think of Advent as being a time to get ready for Christmas.  I guess it is to some degree.  We set up our nativity, our tree, and other decorations during this time.  But Advent was not really meant to focus on Christmas.  It is a tradition created to help us think about Christ coming again.  This is the reason for our HOPE.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

Legacy of Love – Thoughts on Chef (the Movie)

Over the holiday weekend, I rented the movie, Chef, from our local Redbox.  My wife and I saw the movie over the summer on one of our weekly date nights, and it was a movie that brought a smile to my face.  In fact, I remember smiling throughout most of the movie.  I knew back in the summer this was a movie I had to see again.  When it came out on DVD, I knew it was time for another viewing.

(Let me warn you though, Chef is rated ‘R’ for the use of profanity.)

There was a scene in the movie that really made me think as I watched it again last week.  In the scene, Chef Casper’s son just burnt his first Cuban sandwich.  He was getting ready to feed it to some nonpaying customers when his dad quickly pulled him aside to have this conversation (there is no profanity in this scene).

There was humility, passion, and a desire to leave a legacy rolled up in this scene, and I think it flowed throughout the movie.  In this particular scene, I was reminded that we don’t always get it right.  In fact, we screw up more than most of us would like to admit.  Despite this, we still have a desire, passion, and even a responsibility to leave a legacy by doing the things we love.

Chef Casper could make a mean Cuban sandwich along with the rest of his culinary creations.  This was the love of his life, and he wanted to share it with others – especially with his son.

I want my kids and others to enjoy the things that make my heart beat.  I want them to be passionate about the things they love to do.  For my daughter right now, it’s running.  For my son, it’s making music.  These are gifts to them and to those around them.  I hope they will share these passions with the world around them.  And I hope I can make the most of the opportunity to share my passions with them.  This is a legacy worth leaving.

What do you love to do?  How are you sharing your passion with others?

7 Ways To Listen More Effectively

Listening is a major habit leaders must develop if they want to take their leadership to the next level.

Here are a few reasons listening matters:

• Listening shows others we care about them and about what they are saying.  It’s rude when we don’t give our team members our full attention when they are speaking with us.  When we stop what we are doing and pay attention, it demonstrates we value our team members.
• Listening often provides information we need to know.  I depend on my team members to handle their projects and tasks as independently as possible; however, there are times when I need to be in the loop on key details.  If I don’t take the time to listen to my team members, I may miss out on information necessary to make sure we are making the best decisions.
• Listening helps us understand our team members better.  We are not leading teams of robots.  We are leading individual people.  Each of them have different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses, and different challenges.  When we listen, we are better equipped to help our individual team members.  As leaders, we are servants, and we serve best when we have taken time to listen and understand those we serve – this includes our team members.
• Listening minimizes the opportunity for us to say something stupid.  If we are really listening, our ears are open and our mouths are closed.  When we keep our mouths shut, we can’t say something we will regret.  This doesn’t mean we should never speak up.  I simply believe it is important to develop the discipline of listening before we speak.

Why do you think listening matters?

Improving your listening skills takes practice.  Here are some practical tips for taking your listening to the next level.

7 Ways To Listen More Effectively

1. Turn off distractions.  Put your cell phone aside.  Shut the lid on your laptop.  And put your desk phone on “do not disturb.”  We live in a world of distractions.  It takes effort and intentionality on our parts to put these aside, so our conversations are not high-jacked.
2. Face the person who is speaking.  You are more likely to really hear what someone is saying when you see their eyes, observe their expressions, and tune in.  This cannot fully happen if you aren’t looking at the person who is talking to you.
3. Repeat what you heard and ask for confirmation or clarification.  Sometimes we don’t hear what are people are really saying.  Briefly rehashing the conversation provides the opportunity to make sure the speaker has been heard correctly.
4. Take notes.  I try to take notes when necessary to help me process and remember the key details of a conversation.  The notes shouldn’t be a distraction from the conversation.  You may need to take notes immediately following the conversation.  I have found this helps in my follow through with any action items that come out of a conversation.  My team members know I am listening when they see me following up on something that came up during our conversation.
5. Try not to cross your arms (or your legs).  I have heard it said that this sends the wrong message.  Crossing your arms signals to the speaker that we may be defensive about what is being shared.  Uncrossing our arms and opening up subconsciously indicates that we are listening.
6. Focus on the speaker.  Don’t think about your next meeting.  Don’t be too quick to think about the resolution to your team members problems.  Don’t listen to other conversations going on around you.  Be present in the conversation.  I easily fall into the trap of thinking to far down the road or even trying to be a part of more than one conversation at the same time.  This doesn’t work.  Focus on one person at a time.
7. If necessary, ask the person for a moment to write notes on what you were doing before they came into your office.  You may be in the middle of a sentence or thought, and it’s helpful to finish it before you move into the conversation.  I listen better when I’m not distracted by what I was trying to accomplish before the conversation.

Listening matters, and it’s a discipline we must all practice especially if we want to take our leadership to the next level.

What helps you listen more effectively?

Labels

Sunday afternoon, I changed my clothes before heading out the door to help with RIOT (our church’s high school youth group).  I glanced into the mirror quickly to make sure I looked presentable, and my reflection made me think.

I was wearing a Superman t-shirt under my zip-up sweatshirt with a logo from my company on the left chest.  I threw on a hat that boosted the name of my college (Grove City College).  My shoes had the Brooks logo on each side, and my socks had the Road Runner Sports logo on them.  My pants didn’t have a label, but my underwear said FTL (Fruit of the Loom).

I realized I was a walking billboard.  The labels on my clothing proclaim a certain message to those I see.  But they only tell part of the story.

Is it possible that people miss the real me because my identity is covered up by the labels I wear?

I’m sure it’s possible.  After all, I pass judgement on others based on the labels they wear.

We are more than labels.  We are more than logos.  We are children of the King.

And this is how we should see those around us.

What labels are you wearing?  How would your life change if you saw past the labels that others wear?

November 2014 – Top Posts and Commenters PLUS BOOK GIVEAWAY

Here are the highlights from November 2014.  Thanks to everyone who read along and commented.  Your readership and participation in the daily discussions are what make The Stretched Community.  Thank you!

It was another record-breaking month!

Overall, traffic was up from October (10.73%).  Traffic was up 142.42% compared to a year ago.  The top 10 posts included posts from 2014 and one from 2012 (the number one post).  Again, most of the posts were from late September and early October.  There was one post from February.  If you missed any of these posts, I hope you’ll go and check them out now by clicking below.  The post with the most engagement was one that didn’t make the top 10 list below – Ice Breaker – Ask Me Anything.

Top 10 Posts:

1. Ice Breaker – Giving Thanks At Thanksgiving  November 16, 2012 (1092)
2. 5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid  February 12, 2014 (305)
3. September 2014 – Top Posts and Commenters PLUS BOOK GIVEAWAY  October 1, 2014 (279)
4. October 2014 – Top Posts and Commenters PLUS BOOK GIVEAWAY  November 1, 2014 (276)
5. No Excuses!  October 2, 2014 (258)
6. Ice Breaker – Homecoming  October 3, 2014 (250)
7. Experience The Supernatural  September 29, 2014 (238)
8. Redefine Rich  September 29, 2014 (237)
9. Knowing God So We Can Make Him Known  October 9, 2014 (232)
10. A Tribute To Grandma  October 8, 2014 (214)

Top 10 Commenters:

• David Stolpe (21)
• Larry Carter (14)
• Steve Y (11)
• Lulu (7)
• Rick Siderfin (3)
• Michael Shaw (2)
• Caleb Suko (1)
• Carol Peterson (1)
• Dan Black (1)
• Dan Erickson (1)

As promised at the beginning of the month, I have randomly chosen someone from the top commenters list to receive a copy of  On Track: Life Lessons from the Track & Field by ME!  The winner of this book is…(drum roll)…Larry Carter.  Congrats to Larry!

For the month of December, I’ll be giving away another copy of On Track: Life Lessons from the Track & Field by ME! This month, the winner will be chosen randomly from the top 10 commenters.

Thanks to each and everyone for reading and for commenting.  I’m looking forward to December with The Stretched Community!  The month of December will include more STRETCHING posts.  More than likely, I will continue to focus on having a mission mindset in many of the upcoming posts, and I’ll be mixing in some Christmas related posts as well.

If you’re interested in guest posting here, leave a comment to connect with me.

How was your month?  If you’re a blogger share a link to your top post in the comments?  What was your favorite Stretched post this month?  How were you STRETCHED in November?

In case you’re interested, here are a few other interesting stats about November (based on Google Analytics):

• Users – Increased 55.70%
• Sessions – Increased 8.63%
• Pageviews – Increased 7.45%
• Pages Per Session – Decreased 1.39%
• Average Session Duration – Decreased 26.23%
• Bounce Rate – Increased 1.20%
• New Sessions – Increased 10.78%

On Track – Life Lessons from the Track & Field is now available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle.  Click the link below to get your copy today.

Looking for a great gift or stocking stuffer idea?  Pick up your copy of On Track TODAY!

As a reminder, I am offering a FREE pdf copy of the interior of the book to subscribers of The Stretched Newsletter.  Head over to the main page of the blog and sign up on the right hand menu bar to get your copy today for FREE!

Thanksgiving 2014 – Voice

Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.
Stephen Covey

For those reading this in America, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving Day yesterday.  Our family enjoyed time with some friends.  It was fun to hang out together laughing and sharing.

As I have shared throughout the week, our family Thanksgiving tradition includes tracing our hand prints onto a white tablecloth.  In each of our fingers, we write down something for which we are thankful.  This week, I’m taking time to share something I’ll be writing on the tablecloth this year.  I’m hoping you’ll contribute to the conversation by leaving something for which you are thankful for each day.

Here is the fifth thing I wrote down this year:

Voice

I’m not talking about the NBC television show, The Voice, although I do watch it from time to time.

I’m talking about the opportunity to utilize my voice.

This idea was initially sparked by my involvement in Toastmasters this year.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to practice using my voice in a way that enhances my communication and leadership skills.  I’m also thankful for the people I’ve met along the way as a result of my involvement with Toastmasters.

Then I started thinking about other ways I get to use my voice.  My voice is heard every time someone reads one of my blog posts, reads one of my comments, or reads my book.  I get to use my voice at my job through my daily interactions with team members, co-workers, and customers.  I also get to use my voice at home.  I hope I am a voice for wisdom, for love, and for hope.

The more I thought about being thankful for my voice, the more I kept coming back to the fact that many people in this world do not have a voice.  It’s not that they cannot speak.  It’s more that they are not heard.  This is sad.  People with do not have a voice often go unnoticed and forgotten.  They fall by the wayside and are steamrolled by those who are more powerful, more influential, and just plain louder.

Each one of us has the opportunity to be the voice for others who do not have a voice.  It first involves us waking up and noticing those around us who don’t have a voice.  Then it involves utilizing our own voices and platforms to speak up for those who don’t have a voice.  By doing this, we be can be the catalyst to amplify the voice of those who have gone unheard.  You and I can do this!

My experiences in Guatemala have certainly provided an opportunity to see those who don’t have a voice.  Part of the reason I share about my Guatemalan experiences is to help me remember.  I don’t want to forget what I’ve seen, what I’ve experienced, and who I’ve met.  Another reason for sharing my Guatemalan journey is to open others eyes to those in the little village of Xenacoj who might otherwise go unheard.  I want people to know about my friends in Xenacoj.  I want people here at home to understand what they are facing every day.  And I want readers to get involved to help change things in Xenacoj for my dear Guatemalan friends.

With this in mind, I am very thankful for my voice.  I know I have an opportunity to help the unheard be heard.

What is one thing you would put on your thankful list this year?  Why?

How are you using your voice to be the voice for others?

Thanksgiving 2014 – Family & Friends

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

This week I am celebrating a tradition in our house.  Our family Thanksgiving tradition includes tracing our hand prints onto a white tablecloth.  In each of our fingers, we write down something for which we are thankful.  This week, I’m taking time to share something I’ll be writing on the tablecloth this year.  I’m hoping you’ll contribute to the conversation by leaving something for which you are thankful for each day.

Here is the fourth thing I’ll be writing down this year:

Family & Friends

I am so blessed to have a wonderful family and some great friends.  I’m especially thankful for my wife, Leanne, and for our two teenagers.  It’s been a busy year, but we have enjoyed growing together.  Leanne has ventured into life coaching this year, and the kids are busy with running, youth group, band, and scouts.  I’m extremely blessed.

I am also thankful for my extended family.  This year, we said goodbye to my Grandma Stolpe, and it gave us the opportunity to spend time with parts of my family I haven’t seen in years.

Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.
Michael J. Fox

I have so many friends for whom I am thankful.  There are way too many to list here.  I’m thankful for those who have cheered me on, listened to me, and just hung out with me.

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.
Hubert H. Humphrey

What is one thing you would put on your thankful list this year?  Why?

Thanksgiving 2014 – My Job

This week I am celebrating a tradition in our house.  Our family Thanksgiving tradition includes tracing our hand prints onto a white tablecloth.  In each of our fingers, we write down something for which we are thankful.  This week, I’m taking time to share something I’ll be writing on the tablecloth this year.  I’m hoping you’ll contribute to the conversation by leaving something for which you are thankful for each day.

Here is the third thing I’ll be writing down this year:

My Job

In January 2014, I celebrated 18 years with my company.  I work for the leading building automation company in the Philadelphia area.  I came in as a project engineer back in 1996.  I moved through the project management ranks, and I have been an operations manager with the company for the past seven plus years.

I’ll confess that I don’t enjoy every single aspect of my job, but for the most part, I do like my job.  I really appreciate the people who I get to work with day after day.  I like the unique aspect of our projects and the demand for excellence from our valued customer base.  I especially love the fact that I get to help people succeed.

My job has given me the opportunity to see things, go places, and meet people I would have missed out on without this job.  And I’m grateful for the support I and my family have received from my workplace.

I am off from work this week (another reason to be thankful), but I am certainly looking forward to returning back on Monday to conquer the challenges that wait for me.

What is one thing you would put on your thankful list this year?  Why?