Jon Stolpe
Jon Stolpe
Repost: In Your Face – Don’t Give Up Meeting Together
I’m reposting my blog post from August 15, 2010. Outreach Magazine used a quote from this post in their Nov/Dec 2010 issue.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in quite a tough spot. Many things around me seemed to be collapsing in on me, and I felt all alone. This seems kind of strange for a guy who has tooted the “GroupLife horn” for so long, but it’s true. At a time when I needed a shoulder to lean on the most, I was generally isolated from the kind of relationships which would know that life was crazy for me at that moment, which would care enough to ask me how I was really doing, which would carry me through when I just couldn’t muster the energy to continue.
That’s when a friend of mine, Adam, jumped across the “ocean” to join me on my island. Through our conversation, he could tell I was hurting. He simply asked, “Are you in a group right now? Do you have someone to lean on? Who’s got your back?”
Right in my face! Here I was the guy who was supposed to ask people this question. After all, I know how important it is to be in some type of small group. I had been leading groups and leading in group ministry for years. But…with no great excuse…when Adam asked me these questions, all I could say is, “No. I’m not in a group right now. I feel alone. And I’m not sure if anyone has my back right now.”
Thankfully, Adam didn’t leave it at that. He invited me to join him with a group of guys that meets every week. He said I’d be more than welcome to check it out and join them. So…I did! That’s right. A few Wednesday nights ago, I drove over to a local diner and met with a crazy group of guys, who made me laugh, who listened to me, who made me think. These guys obviously don’t have it all together, but they’re trying to do their best to live life in a way that honors God. And they realize the importance of meeting together.
That night, Adam shared a passage from Hebrews 10 about the importance of meeting together. I’m not sure if that was meant just for me or if it was for the whole group, but it was just what I needed. I’ll be checking out this group again, and I’m looking forward to being in community again. Community that will spur me on. Community that will lift me up. And community that will take me off of my island.
Stolen…
Today, I heard word that someone broke into my brother’s car and stole a laptop, a couple of video cameras, and some other stuff. I wish I could fix this for him. His laptop had a lot of stuff that he had spent countless hours creating for his band (The Raven Charter). How do you react when you’ve been violated? I’m sure my brother is really hurting. I’m sure he’s really mad. Why does stuff like this have to happen? We certainly live in a broken world. I’m praying that somehow his stuff would be recovered. I’m praying that the thief will find remorse and God. And I’m praying that my brother will find peace and forgiveness in the midst of this crisis.
Thankful!
This afternoon and evening, I went to the wedding of a co-worker with my beautiful bride. Here’s a picture of us before we left. I’m so thankful for today and for Leanne.
Strength to Carry On…
It seems like I’ve connected with a lot of songs recently. I am thankful for the words that song writers have to share. I sometimes wonder what they may have gone through in their lives that have inspired them to write the very words that resonate with me. Tonight, on the way home from work, I heard another song that really met me where I’ve been. Steven Curtis Chapman’s When You Are A Soldier reminds me how God carries us when we can’t go any further on our own, cheers us on, and cries along with us when we’re down.
The last couple of days have been good. I am thankful! And I can see where God has carried me to this point. He has surrounded me with encouragement. He has given me strength for one day at a time. And He has brought me light and rest at night.
Here are the words to Chapman’s song:
When you are a soldier I will be your shield
I will go with you into the battlefield
And when the arrows start to fly
Take my hand and hold on tight
I will be your shield, ’cause I know how it feels
When you are a soldier
When you’re tired from running
I will cheer you on
Look beside you and you’ll see you’re not alone
And when your strength is all but gone
I’ll carry you until you’re strong
And I will be your shield ’cause I know how it feels
When you’re a soldier
I will be the one you can cry your songs to
My eyes will share your tears
And I’ll be your friend if you win
Or if you’re defeated
Whenever you need me I will be here
When you’re lost in darkness I will hold the light
I will help you find your way through the night
I’ll remind you of the truth
And keep the flame alive in you
And I will be your shield
‘Cause I know how it feels
When you are a soldier
True Companion
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp6zoc84NcU]Marc Cohn is one of my favorite singer, song-writers. As I was traveling to and from my men’s group this evening, I heard this song. I am so thankful for my true companion – my wonderful wife. God has blessed me for sure.
Lead Me
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbbFjWreLiw]Life can be real tough sometimes. Sometimes, being a husband and a father isn’t easy. I love my wife and my kids more than any words can say. And I want to be the very best husband and father that I can be for them. But to be honest, there are many times when I don’t do or say the right thing, and there are also times when I don’t have the strength to carry on. Life has been pretty challenging recently. I am so thankful for friends and family who have surrounded me and supported me and my family through these days – but even they cannot fully sustain me. I’m learning again and again the importance of looking to God for His leadership and His strength when mine is waning.
This song by Sanctus Real speaks to my heart today.
Sanctus Real – “Lead Me”
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Psalm 119:116
Love Is A Flame
Last night, I finished reading Love Is A Flame – Stories Of What Happens When Love Is Rekindled, a book compiled by James Stuart Bell. The book contains 43 stories about the hope that be found in the ups and downs of marriage life. Some of the stories talk about keeping the spark amidst the mundane day-to-day efforts of life. Some of the stories talk about finding forgiveness and grace when a partnership is violated. And some of the stories talk about dealing with the challenges of life that naturally come along – challenges like health problems, job changes, and raising children.
With some of the recent challenges that I’ve been facing, I could definitely relate to many of these stories. In some ways, I feel like I could add story number 44 to this collection of stories. It was encouraging to read about couples who have successfully navigated the mountain peaks and valleys of marriage.
Whether you are a newlywed or have been married for a long time, whether your marriage is clicking on all cylinders or it’s going through a rough spell, I would recommend this book. It can be a great encouragement, and it can simply be a great discussion starter for you in your marriage.
Night Watch
When I was a little kid, I slept with a night-light. I can remember calling for my parents in the middle of the night, because I was scared of the monsters under the bed or the robbers that might be in the house in the middle of the night. Obviously, these things don’t scare me now, but there are things that keep me up at night. Sometimes, it’s something I ate earlier that day. Sometimes, it’s a stressful decision that I need to make at work. Sometimes, it’s a relationship that needs mending. Sometimes it’s the challenges of life.
This afternoon, I took some time to read on my deck, and I came across these verses:
“On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:6-8
This is a great reminder for the times when sleeping is a challenge. I can trust God for help. He upholds me. I can cling to that. I’m looking forward to a good nights sleep.
Blog Spotlight – LeadingSmart – Tim Stevens – A Space for Margin
One of the many blogs I follow on a regular basis is by Tim Stevens who is the executive pastor at Granger Community Church. Tim writes a lot about leadership. I’ve really appreciated his wisdom as I’ve followed him over the past few years.
Last week, Tim wrote about the importance of making space for margins in our lives. His post (below) really resonated with me. Our family often seems to be running from one activity to the next. We pack our calendars so full of stuff that we don’t leave time for rest, relaxation, and more importantly for God to intervene in the spaces that surround our lives. Events at our home over the past couple of months have forced us to take a brave new look at how we organize our time. Tim’s post couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time.
A SPACE FOR MARGIN
I’ve been thinking a lot about margin.
A margin is the portion of the page that you intentionally leave blank. You don’t write all the way from the left side of the page to the right side—no, you typically leave space all the way around, and we call those margins.
Yet in life, everything in our culture is telling us to ignore margins. Spend more money than you make and you will have no financial margin. Fill your schedule from early morning until late night—and you will have no time margin. Surround yourself with needy people and be constantly reactive to their expectations—and you will have no emotional margin.
Mark Batterson wrote, “You need margin to think. You need margin to play. You need margin tolaugh. You need margin to dream. You need margin to have impromptu conversations. You need margin to seize unanticipated opportunities.”
I want to live a life with margins.
When I live on less than I make, I have the financial margin so an unexpected expense won’t capsize me, and so I can respond in the moment to someone else’s real need.
When every moment of my life is scheduled, I don’t have the margin to stop and listen to someone who needs an ear; I don’t have the time to jump in and help a neighbor fix their sprinkler; or don’t have the flexibility to go to my kids sporting event that was scheduled at the last minute.
Margin makes you pleasant; no margin makes you grumpy.
Margin allows you to be generous; no margin makes you Scrooge-like.
Margin helps you listen; without margin, you come across like someone who doesn’t care.
Margin gives you the space to learn, grow and dream; without margin and you become stale and empty.
Margin increases the chance you will hear the still small voice of God when He speaks; without margin and you might continue through life without the blessing of God.
Where are you feeling the lack of margin in your life? What should change?
CCV Celebrates 10 Years
10-17-10 Cardboard Testimonies from CHRIST’S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.
Yesterday, my church celebrated it’s 10 year anniversary by kicking off a new series called Beyond. As part of the service, several people shared how their lives have been changed through the church. It was pretty powerful. Check out the video link above (10-17-10 Cardboard Testimonies). Never underestimate the power of the local church.