Kenya – One Of The Best Christmas Presents Ever!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I just wanted to share a story from my Christmas experience today.  I was blown away by one of the best Christmas presents that I have ever received.  As a family, we had decided to keep it pretty low-key this year as far as presents go, since we were saving up for our big trip to Kenya this summer.  Honestly, this wasn’t the easiest choice to make.  It’s hard not to want to give your kids and family as much as possible.  Despite the “tough” decision, our family – especially our kids – handled this Christmas remarkably well.

Today as we were opening presents with my wife’s family, it was fun to watch as my two nieces tore into their gifts.  It was also special to see the genuine appreciation from our kids as they opened their own gifts.  But my daughter took the cake for my Christmas experience today when she handed my wife a small box that she had purposefully prepared to give to the two of us.  When we opened the box, we discovered over $42 mostly in one-dollar bills that she had saved up from money she earned selling her homemade jewelry.  This act of pure generosity brought tears to my eyes.

Our upcoming trip to Kenya is going to be exciting and life changing, but what I’m experiencing already in preparation for this trip is already changing my life.  To know that my daughter is so willing to think of others first is a true gift.  Today, I learned so much from her – about putting others first – about correctly prioritizing things – and about what Christmas is really all about.  No other words can fully express the emotion that I experienced today.  I am one proud dad!

Merry Christmas!

“I’m Hungry.” Hunger is relative.

Last night after a great weekend and wonderful evening with some friends, it was time to get the kids to bed before a four day week of school.  (I should note here that we topped off delicious meal with orange Crush and root beer floats.)  The kids were given specific instructions for getting ready for bed, and without delay one of our kids chimed in…”I’m hungry.”  Okay, so I realize that kids at this age must burn through calories at a rapid pace as they sprout up like weeds in my landscape, but come on.  We just had a big meal, and it was already time for bedtime.  To make matters worse, our child continued to whine and complain and whine and complain and whine and complain.  Does this sound familiar to any of you?

Leanne took the brunt of this episode as I was “Skyping” with my parents, but the pouting was still underway as I came up to say my good nights.

Leanne and I both shared with our child that we understand that feeling of hunger, but we also explained that many in the world experience a hunger far worse than that every night they lay down to sleep.  Where we’re going in Kenya, my guess is that many of the children who call the Mathare North slums home experience this feeling of hunger all the time.  This includes our sponsor child Jonathan.  After this discussion, we took time to pray for Jonathan and others in Kenya and around the world who are experiencing hunger.  We also were especially thankful for the blessings of food, shelter, safety, etc.  that so many in the world don’t get to experience.

It was interesting to see the change in heart.

…continually impacted by Kenya…

Ready, Aim, Fire – Our “Little” Girl Heads to Middle School

So yesterday, I put my daughter on the bus for her first day of middle school.  I’m still amazed that I could be at this point of my life already.  How am I old enough to have a child in junior high?  It seems like yesterday that I was visiting her at her preschool (where this picture was taken).

Hannah is really growing up fast.  I’m blown away by her maturity, her kindness, and her internal and external beauty.  I’m excited by the new opportunities that she will face as she moves forward in her academic pursuits.  I’m also excited for the new opportunities to see Hannah as she matures into a young woman.  She is showing many signs of heading down this path already.  She wants to be in the know regarding the different adult conversations that Leanne and I are having.  She wants to pick out her own closes and have her own style.  She is taking more of an initiative in communicating outside of school with her friends.  She’s physically growing.  She’s even starting to watch some of the same shows that Leanne and I enjoy.

Some of this is scary.  It was kind of strange to see some of the older eighth grade boys on her bus (and to see some of the older guys and girls at our church’s youth group).  As a parent, I want to make sure Hannah is safe, and I want to protect her from the influences that could lead her down the wrong path (not that all older kids are bad).  But I’m also reminded of an illustration from Stu Weber’s book, Tender Warrior.  Our kids are like arrows.  Our job as parents is to direct our kids towards the “Target.”  And then as our kids get older, we need to let go of the bowstring.  We need to give up control of the arrow and trust that it will fly to the “Target.”  This milestone in Hannah’s life is one of those times where we loosen our fingers just a bit on the bowstring.  I know that we’re not perfect parents, but I also trust that we’ve taken the steps to aim our “arrow” in the right direction.

Kenya – Already Having An Impact At Home

Our whole family is diving into this Kenya thing.  If the kids could go along on the trip, I think they would be game for the idea.  The kids are becoming aware of the financial aspect of this trip.  Isaac actually sat through the first meeting we attended where we learned that the trip would cost $6,000-$8,000.  Obviously, the money thing is a big aspect of whether or not we’ll be able to go.  When Leanne and I submitted our initial applications this past Sunday, we did so by taking a step of faith expecting that God would provide the resources necessary to take this trip.  Together, we’ve been brainstorming ways that we can save money for the trip and focus our attention on the people we will serve in Kenya.

Leanne had the brilliant idea of building and selling chicken coops.  Then she mentioned that I should sell my baseball cards.  The kids want to sell eggs and golf balls.  I’m not sure which if any of these ideas will take off, but it’s great to see the wheels spinning.  One thing we’re doing is eating a meal of rice and beans one night a week.  Not only is it a cheap meal, but it also gives us the opportunity to think about how others in the world eat every day.

I knew all our conversations were hitting home yesterday when I went to pay Isaac for cutting the grass.  This summer we agreed that it would be a good idea for the kids to start cutting the grass (under supervision of course).  This would give them a chance to help out, and it would give me a chance to work on other things outside while they were cutting the grass.  We agreed that they would get a small “paycheck” for completing this task and doing a good job.  Well, Isaac cut the grass on Tuesday, so naturally, I wanted to follow up on my end of the deal.  When I went to pay him last night, he simply said that he wouldn’t take the money – that we were saving for Kenya. 

Whoa!  Needless to say, I was blown away.  I don’t know yet how we’re going to come up with all the money required for the trip, but I’m already seeing that it was worth taking the leap of faith.

The Chickens and The Bees

Painting with a Purpose

Today, I am finishing up the final touches on Isaac’s new spy room. I started the project last weekend, and I’m finally finishing it today after a busy week of work and Kids Camp. Painting Isaac’s room was the reward that followed a two week challenge to conquer one of his fears. Isaac has been afraid of going to bed. While this may seem fairly typical for most boys his age, we had reasons to be concerned based on various factors which I won’t go into now. At any rate, we spoke with a good friend of ours (Mohab Hanna) who is a child psychiatrist, and he recommended that we try to reward Isaac for overcoming his fears.

I’ll be honest, I had my questions as to whether or not this would work. Isaac had been coming out of his room almost nightly for the past several months – concerned that the doors were locked, that we were still awake, that Iso was okay, etc. I just wasn’t sure that this would work. We started it off by rewarding him with a play date with one of his buddies for passing the first two nights. After this, we waited a whole two weeks to award the paint project. Remarkably, he made it!

It’s been more than a week since the challenge finished, and Isaac has been doing a great job! We’re really proud that he is facing and overcoming his fears. Now it’s Hannah’s turn. Obviously, she would like her room painted also, so here’s her challenge. She has to go without biting her fingernails for three weeks, and I’ll be at it again.

The painting can be a lot of work, but it’s worth it to see the kids overcoming big challenges in their own lives.

Until the next post, I’ll be removing painter’s tape from the walls and paint from my hands…

Supernanny Parenting Study Guide Complete

For those of you who may have been following our Supernanny parenting discussion group, I finally finished the study guide for the series that we completed in November. It’s currently posted on the smallgrouphelp.com website. I’m extremely excited to see how it could be used to help parents. Here’s an excerpt from the introduction:

Parenting is not easy. And there are not any perfect parents. Our parents were not perfect. Their parents were not perfect. Our kids will not be perfect parents. And we are not perfect parents. While it is a fact that we have all screwed up at one time or another through our past parenting, there is still hope. We can make a change today by deciding to do parenting differently from this day forward. This discussion guide is designed to help parents make positive changes starting today.

Check it out.

Until the next post…

Family Fun Ideas

Last night, we concluded our parenting discussion group with a time of sharing family fun ideas. Here is a list of what we came up with in just 15 minutes with seven families represented:

1. Go to a local park on Thanksgiving and/or Christmas Eve. Spend the time together as a family with a time for quiet, a game of hide-and-seek, or perhaps a scavenger hunt. (No one else is likely to be at the park on either of these days.)
2. Bi-monthly family movie night. Spend one night every other night watching family home movies or slide shows.
3. Bi-monthly game night.
4. Family devotional activity night – do a craft, play or something else creative that deals with a story from the Bible. For example, act out the nativity or build an ark out of popsicle sticks.
5. Ask the kids what they want to do.
6. Test run a new family tradition. If it sticks, it becomes tradition. If it doesn’t, oh well.
7. Christmas ornaments. Give an ornament to your kids each year that expresses a memory or milestone from the year past. Each year have your child go through the story of each year’s ornament as they hang them up. (My kids can’t wait to hear my stories from all my ornaments.) 8. Plan a family vacation to a place where you don’t have to move the car. (Our family went to Washington, DC this summer, and we didn’t move the car until we left.)
9. When visiting the same city, go to a different ethnic restaurant every time you go out with your family.
10. Make candy (or bake goods) with your whole family (including extended family if possible).
11. Have Swedish (or other ancestory) food during the holidays.
12. Have an annual New Year’s Eve sleepover at a friends house.
13. Plan an annual family camping trip with other families.
14. Go to Knobels.
15. Go on a family bike picnic. Stop have way to have your picnic.
16. Unpack the family Christmas village together.
17. Go garage sale hopping together as a family. See who can get the best bargain or the best treasure.
18. Go Christmas caroling in your neighborhood. End the evening with hot cider and cookies at someone’s home.
19. Nativity scene add-on. Start with a stable. Each year add a new figure to the nativity set.
20. Have a best/worst dinner. Every person has to share the best part and the worst part about their days.
21. Have a regular family fun night. Rotate who gets to plan each night.
22. Go to Cape May, NJ for vacation.
23. Go to Lake George, NY for vacation.
24. With your nativity scene, play hide the baby Jesus.
25. Birthday day off. Whenever someone in the family is celebrating a birthday, the whole family takes the day off from work and school to go do something fun together.
26. Host an annual Easter family brunch and invite friends who don’t have family around.

Wow, that’s a lot of ideas. Maybe you have more ideas to add to this great list. Feel free to contribute by posting a comment.

Until the next post, here’s an idea, have fun with your family!

Parenting Group – The Purpose of Discipline

Last night, we had a lively discussion at our parenting group about why we discipline our kids. Here are some of the highlights:

-We discipline our children because we love them.
-God has placed us in a position of authority to help protect and guide our children while giving them clear and safe boundaries.
-Through appropriate discipline we have the opportunity to teach our children about forgiveness, restoration, and grace.

Hebrews 12:5-11 and Proverbs 6:20-23 provided a little bit of Biblical reference to our discussion.

Here’s what Hebrews has to say:
5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as children? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child.” 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate children at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Parenting Discussion Group – TEAMWORK

Tuesday night, we had our third night of our parenting discussion group, and we discussed the topic of teamwork. Just like for a championship sports team (it’s not looking good for the Phillies), teamwork is essential for a successful family.

So how does this look? I think Solomon put it well in Ecclesiastes Chapter 4:

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Teamwork is great when you do it together. Teamwork is best when God is on your team.

Until the next post…