You have lived with yourself your entire life. You should have a pretty good idea of who you are and what makes you tick.
In reality, many of us don’t really know all that much about ourselves. We look in the mirror to make sure our hair is styled nicely and our face is clear of any major blemishes, but we too often fail to look deeper.
Getting to know ourselves takes time, energy, and perhaps some expert advice.
Two weeks ago, while I was in Chicago for a leadership development program, we spent the better part of a day getting to know ourselves better. Before we can lead others well, we must learn to lead ourselves. And self leadership starts with self discovery. As part of this process, each of the participants in the program had to take the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Temperament Index). I’ve taken this assessment before, so it was not a surprise to me that my results showed I am an ESTJ. I’m more of an Extrovert than an Introvert. I rely on Sensing as opposed to iNtuition. I’m much more of a Thinker than a Feeler. And I’m more likely to Judge than to Perceive.
Here’s what the report had to say about me:
ESTJs are logical, analytical, decisive and tough-minded individuals who use
concrete facts in systematic ways. They enjoy working with others to organise
the details and operations well in advance to get the job done. Although the
descriptors below generally describe ESTJs, some may not fit you exactly due to
individual differences within each type.
My MBTI results report had a lot more to say about who I am, how I tend to behave, and how I may need to adapt to potential pitfalls in my behavioral preferences. I learned a lot as a result of going through this assessment.
A couple of months ago, I did the Strengthsfinder 2.0 self assessment which helped me see my top five strengths: Harmony, Achiever, Responsibility, Disciplined, and Analyzer. My friend, Rusty Pang, recently helped me see how these strengths help to describe who I am:
“When I interpret your strengthfinders results in your personality, I see a consistent, reliable person who is a studied peacekeeper. You don’t like it when two or more people are in conflict, so you rely on your training and knowledge to fix the problem directly or create a system to promote cooperation.“
Rusty’s feedback was right on. I am completely stressed out by conflict. I want people to get along, and I want to find ways to bring resolution to situations where people don’t get along or don’t see eye to eye. When I can’t make this happen, I become restless, I lose my appetite, and I struggle to sleep well.
Learning more about yourself is more than taking a self assessment test, but this kind of tool can start you down the right path. Here’s a list of a few self assessments, you may want to try to learn more about yourself:
Once you have the results from these types of assessments, it’s extremely valuable to sit down with a coach or expert who can help you interpret the results to get the most of your self learning. Here are a few people I recommend you check out if you are looking for assistance in interpreting your results. They can help you learn more about yourself:
Once you learn more about you, you’ll be in a better position to lead yourself and others. What’s stopping you?
I volunteer on Sunday night as an adult leader at my church’s high school youth group, and I have a confession: I don’t always enjoy it. I sometimes feel out-of-place. I sometimes feel like I’m the “old guy.” And I occasionally wonder if I’m making a difference.
(How did I become the “old guy”?)
This weekend, I was talking to my wife about some recent thoughts and observations regarding my role.
Without fail, I end up having a few conversations each week with students. These conversations confirm my initial decision to volunteer with this ministry.
Students arrive at youth group with all kinds of baggage.
I can’t solve their problems, but I can be there to listen. I can give them feedback based on my experiences. I can be there to be a positive example in their lives. And I can be there to let them know they are valued.
In my discussion with my wife, I was reminded of the importance of plugging into those who are younger. If you are reading this, you more than likely have experiences and wisdom to share with others. You have the opportunity to become a mentor, an advocate, and a cheerleader for those coming behind you.
If you want to leave a legacy…if you want to be stretched, be intentional. Invest in those who are younger than you.
When you do this, you’ll discover:
If you feel like you still have a long way to go (and we all have a long way to go), seek out a mentor for you.
I have a renewed respect for those who invested in me. I think of my youth leaders. I think of my teachers, I think of my bosses. I think of my parents. I’m guessing they had similar concerns about my generation, and yet they continued to invest in people like me. They listened to me. They encouraged me. They pushed me forward. They loved me, and they helped me feel valuable.
And it’s your turn too!
For other related articles, check out:
Sunday afternoon, I received a text from someone at my church asking me if I would consider being his mentor. It’s funny that this would come up when it did. I had been driving in the car with my family listening to one of Michael Hyatt‘s This Is Your Life podcasts about 4 Commitments for Building a Successful Long-Term Stronger Marriage. During the podcast, Hyatt mentioned a resource that he used with his mentoring group. Each year, Hyatt works with a group of men in a mentoring relationship where they strategically work together over the course of the year in a mentoring relationship designed to take men to the next level in their relationships with God, their spouses, and their families. The mentoring relationship is also designed to help men grow in their leadership skills. For more about Hyatt’s mentoring groups, check out his blog post on the subject here.
So when this text came in, I was a little knocked off my feet. I don’t take the responsibility of this type of relationship lightly. So it is with prayer and much thought that I carefully consider this request. This isn’t a new thing. Paul and Timothy modeled this type of relationship. Paul spent considerable time, effort, and prayer teaching and training Timothy.
As I was doing more thinking and researching on this subject. I came across this great list in an article posted on the Enrichment Journal.
You may be wondering whether you are cut out to serve as another person’s mentor. Answer these questions to help you evaluate your suitability:
—Adapted from As Iron Sharpens Iron, by Howard and William Hendricks (Moody Press, 1995).
This is definitely something that is stretching me right now. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject, and I’d appreciate your prayers as I consider this request and responsibility. Thanks!
Have you ever been in a mentoring relationship (as the mentor or as the mentored)? What did it look like? How did it help you grow? What suggestions do you have for those considering this type of relationship?