Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 8 (Introducing Your Kids to Christ)
Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Icebreaker Question: In groups of four to six, spend 15 minutes talking about fun ideas that you have tried with your families. This could include holiday traditions, vacations, games, free time activities, etc. Spend the last few minutes in your groups coming up with a top 10 list of family fun ideas to share with the group as a whole.
The activity above was a real hit with our first group. After a busy 8 weeks of learning together, it’s great to have fun. Similarly, it’s important to have fun with our kids. The fun times we have with them now make for memories that will last for a lifetime.
What a blessing it has been to spend time together working on our parenting skills and learning from each other. This week, we will talk about ways in which we can introduce our kids to Christ. As with previous discussions, sometimes we just need to hear what has worked or hasn’t worked for other parents.
Here are some of the key points for this week’s conversation:
– As parents, we are in a key position to introduce our kids to the creator of the universe.
– We are examples for our kids – good and/or bad. We must decide to live our lives for Christ first.
– Above all else, the Bible should be our go to guide-book for parenting and for life..
– Consistency is critical.
– Through discipline, we have an opportunity to teach our kids about God’s grace.
No Supernanny DVD clips this week. Hopefully, you’ll survive. Instead, we want to focus on a few key passages that will kick us into our conversation. As part of this introduction, I have also included some foundational information on salvation from our church’s website.
From www.moviechurch.com
Salvation
We believe that a human being’s central purpose for existence is to have a close and personal relationship with God. Originally created for that purpose, humans defied God, choosing to go their own independent way, and were thus alienated from God. This “Fall” took place at the beginning of human history, and all individuals since have suffered these consequences and are in need of God’s forgiveness and mercy. A person can be forgiven by God and have that close, personal relationship restored by believing that Jesus is God’s Son, repenting of their sin, and being immersed for the forgiveness of their sins. (John 3:16; Acts 2:38; Romans 3:23, 10:9; 1 John 1:9)
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More explainable for your kids:
Admit your sin and ask forgiveness. (Romans 6:23)
Believe in Jesus and that he died for your sins. (John 3:16)
Choose to make Jesus your forever friend by getting baptized. (Acts 2:38)
Key Verses for Discussion:
“These commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“The Bible is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16
“’Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and Me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in. ’Then, gathering the children up in His arms, he laid His hands of blessing on them.” Mark 10:14-16 (The Message)
1. What observations can you make from these verses about introducing our children to Christ?
We have done lots of things to help our kids learn about Christ. I especially have to give credit to Leanne who has been an incredibly diligent teacher. Starting to read Bible stories to your kids at bedtime or at mealtimes is a good starting point. Using the holidays (like Easter and Christmas), talk to your kids about the “real” meanings as they relate following Christ. Taking your kids to church seems obvious but many parents miss the boat on this. Our kids have learned a lot by being part of age appropriate Bible teaching. Finally, it’s important as parents to available to our kids. They need to know that they can come to us when they have questions. If you don’t know the answers to their questions, you can investigate and learn together.
2. What things have you done in your own home to encourage your children to get to know Christ?
3. What questions do you have when it comes to introducing your kids to Christ?
4. Reflecting on the past 8 weeks, what things do you have to be thankful for and what things would you appreciate prayer for specifically when it comes to parenting? Take time to pray together as a group.
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 7 (Discipline – Methods)
Week 7 – Methods of Discipline
Icebreaker Question: Looking back on the past six or seven weeks, what is one positive change that has happened at your home as a result of this series?
It is amazing how things can positively change when we put our minds to certain things. The past six or seven weeks we’ve been focusing on how we can be better parents for our kids. When Leanne and I first did this series with our group I was amazed at how excited our kids were to make some basic changes in our own home. For example, we still have the schedule on our pantry door. Our family uses this to help prioritize our hectic schedules especially from 3:30PM until bedtime. The “Stolpe Family Schedule” has helped tremendous to bring order out of the chaos that was happening as our children arrived home from school everyday. I think another benefit of this series is the renewed focus on teamwork as a family and as a couple. Leanne and I are on the same page more often than not. And the kids are seeing a united front. Hopefully, your family has been positively impacted as well.
When we think about ways in which we were disciplined as kids, we recall memories of soap in the mouth, belts, spankings, timeouts, being grounded, writing lines, etc. Jo Frost (Supernanny) has used some of the following in her approach to discipline: The Naughty Step, The Naughty Mat, The Naughty Corner, The Naughty Room, The Naughty Chair, etc. This week, we will talk about how we discipline our children. Hopefully, the discussion will give you a fresh perspective as you aim to teach your child to make good choices.
Here are some of the key points for this week’s conversation:
– Discipline is NOT meant to harm our children, but to help them make good choices in the future.
– When we discipline our children, the punishment should fit the age of the child and the “crime.”
– Sometimes living with the consequences of their actions is the appropriate discipline for an inappropriate action by our children.
– Consistency is critical.
– Through discipline, we have an opportunity to teach our kids about God’s grace.
This week we’ll continue our focus on discipline. As we watch the Supernanny DVD clips together, pay attention to the methods that Jo Frost equips the families with for carrying out discipline.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Weston Family DVD Disc 2: 0:44-2:53, 3:37-5:29, 6:35-8:14, 16:42-20:40, 23:20-24:20, 32:54-33:56, and 35:08-38:07. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. What observations can you make from the DVD clips that relate to how we discipline our children?
If I haven’t said it before, I’m very thankful for my own parents. In my opinion (as an adult parent), I think they did an excellent job especially when it came to discipline. When I was young, they used timely appropriate spankings to help me to understand the errors of my ways. I am not scarred in any way. As I grew older in my elementary school days, I was grounded a few times for disobeying or going outside the boundaries that my parents had set for me. As I moved into my teenage years, more often than not, I was left with the consequences of my own actions. For example, I know I paid for the replacement of several windows when I carelessly broke the windows doing something I should not have been doing. At each stage, the discipline was appropriate to my age and to the crime.
2. How were you disciplined as a child?
One thing that we have found to be important in our families discipline process it the end conversation. We ask our kids to apologize specifically for their infraction. We also extend forgiveness to our children. They need to understand the importance of forgiveness and grace. These are both things that we as parents have the privilege of modeling for our kids.
3. What has worked (or not worked) for you as a parent when it comes to discipline?
4. Read the following verses from the Bible. What do these say about how we should discipline our children?
Proverbs 16:21
21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.
Proverbs 16:23
23 The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.
Ephesians 6:1-3
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on the methods of discipline.
Take Home Activity: This week, there are two “homework” assignments. You can do both if you’re ambitious. If you have time for just one of these, I would recommend the first activity (Faith Fall) for families with older children (1st or 2nd grade and older) and the second activity (Red Light, Green Light) for families with younger children. Have fun!
Activity 1: Faith Fall
Point: You can trust God even when something seems scary or does not make much sense.
Supplies: You’ll need a chair and a Bible.
Get down on your knees next to a chair. While standing, have your child hold onto a chair with their back towards you. Ask them, “Do you trust me?” Let them respond. Ask them again, “Do you really trust me?” Let them respond. Ask them one more time, “Do you trust me with your life?” Let them respond (hopefully it’s an affirmative response. Now tell them, “Then let go and I’ll catch you.”
Question:
– How did you feel when I asked you to let go of the chair?
– Why did you think that you could trust me not to drop you?
Read Proverbs 3:5-6 together, then tell your child, “Just as you can trust me to catch you, you can trust God – even when something seems scary or does not make much sense. God cares enough to catch His kids, and He’s strong enough to hold on to us.”
Activity 2 : Red Light, Green Light
Point: Following directions is important. (This may be a better activity for the younger kids.)
In a big room, your yard, or in an open field, play the old game of red light, green light with your kids. Take turns being the traffic light. Everyone starts at one end of the room or other open space. When the “traffic light” yells “Green Light”, everyone starts moving the other way. When they proclaim “Red Light”, everyone must stop right where they are. If they don’t stop, you can send them back to the beginning or send them back three or four steps.
After the game is over, ask these questions,
Question:
– Why is it important to obey the traffic lights when mom or dad is driving?
– Why is it important for you to follow the directions that mom or dad give you?
Next week’s topic: Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 6 (Discipline – Purpose)
Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline
Icebreaker Question: In what area(s) are you disciplined? In what area(s) could you use more discipline?
I am someone who doesn’t enjoy change. On top of that, I’m fairly disciplined about most things in my life. For example, I’m pretty disciplined about my workout routine. While training for two different marathons, I followed an 18-week written schedule, and I documented my progress on a spreadsheet. For the most part, I stayed on track throughout the entire four months of training. On the other hand, I would like to be more consistent in my prayer life. It seems easy to pray at meal times and dinner times; however, I seem to fall short the rest of the day despite the scripture that calls for us to pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17).
The topic of discipline is multifaceted. We often talk about living a disciplined life (“When it comes to working out, that guy is sure disciplined”). In this session, we will talk about the reasons we discipline our children. We’ll leave the discussion related to methods for discipline for our next meeting. As we delve into this subject, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, we discipline our children because we love them (not because we want to be mean). Second, God has placed us in a position of authority to help protect and guide our children while giving them clear and safe boundaries.
to discipline
– To train someone by instruction and practice.
– To teach someone to obey authority.
– To punish someone in order to gain control.
– To impose order on someone.
Taken from: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/discipline
The Supernanny DVD clips this week along with previous weeks will provide a platform to begin our two-week discussion on discipline. As we watch the clips together, pay specific attention to the reasons kids are disciplines. Sit back and get ready for a lively discussion.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Bailey Family Episode DVD Disc 2: 0:57-5:20, 9:05-10:03, 13:54-15:32, 17:03-23:35, and 35:14-39:45. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. What observations can you make from the DVD clips that relate to why we discipline our children?
2. What are some of our excuses for not disciplining our children? How does disciplining our children show love for them?
3. Read the following verses from the Bible. What do these say about the purpose of discipline?
Hebrews 12:5-1
5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as children? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child.”
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate children at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Proverbs 6:20-23
20 My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life,
4. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on the purpose for discipline.
Take Home Activity: This may be one of the toughest homework assignments for many families. Between now and the next meeting commit to keep the TV turned off at your home. Use the time to play games, read, and spend time together. Also, take time to relate this activity to being disciplined. It takes discipline to turn the TV off sometimes. Come to the next meeting prepared to share how it went at your house. What was the initial reaction? How did you spend your time? What was the hardest part of this assignment?
Next week’s topic: Methods of Discipline
Looking Ahead: Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 5 (Siblings)
Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences
Icebreaker Question: How are you different from your siblings? How are you the same?
I love my brothers. I have two younger brothers and we are certainly different. My brother David is an adventurer. He loves to press the limits and blaze new trails both outdoors and in his work. He is much more outspoken than me. I’m not so adventurous, and I tend to hold in my thoughts. My other brother Erik is somewhat like an only child in that he came along quite a while after David and me. He is an incredible artist. I admire his musical talent and his poetic mind. While I wasn’t half bad on the saxophone in my day, I don’t hold a candle to my brother when it comes to musical talent. I also don’t have the poetic cleverness of my brother. On the other hand, we are all brothers who look and sound the same for the most part. We are also bonded together by our family of faith. I am extremely proud of my brothers and I’m glad we’re different.
It is quite obvious that our kids are not the same. They do things differently. They respond to their parents differently. They are gifted in different ways. So how do we handle the blessing of these differences in our children? We will explore this topic as we dive into this session’s conversation.
Some of the differences between siblings is based on gender. Some differences are probably based on birth order (see the quote below) or age. In general, siblings are different, because God made them each unique.
“The difference that is evident in kids’ lives between the first-born child [and] the second-born child in the family, you can almost guarantee they’re going to be the opposite. As we go down the family branch we see that each child branches off in a very unique way … There’s hard research to substantiate there is something to birth order … We find that people in certain occupational areas and expertise in life, such as architecture, accounting, engineering, those structured occupations tend to be first-born children. As we go through the family constellation and go through second children, youngest children, we find that people go into much more people-oriented vocations.” – Kevin Leman (author of The Birth Order Book)
As we dive into this week’s session of handling sibling differences, the Supernanny DVD clips will demonstrate some of the ways our children are different from each other. These DVD segments should provide a spring-board for our conversation.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: Use The Wischmeyer Family Episode DVD Disc 1: 6:30-8:51, 12:41-13:45, 19:48-20:47, and 25:24-26:37. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. What observations can you make from the DVD clips that relate to handling sibling differences?
Leanne and I have been blessed with two children. Our oldest (a daughter) is a real go-getter. She is self motivated and very independent. She is a gifted leader. Our youngest (a son) is much more of a follower. He is a helper. Our son is a talented piano player. I’m so thankful that God gave us two different kids. Each of our kids responds differently to our attention, to our correction, and to our discipline. We have learned that while one thing might work for our daughter, it won’t work for our son and vice versa. This certainly means that we have to be on our toes at all times.
2. How are your own children different? What is one of the gifts/talents that your child has that is different from their sibling(s)? How does each of your children respond that’s different from the other(s)?
3. How do you handle these differences at your house? How do you make each child feel special and unique?
Part of the differences we see in our kids leads to sibling rivalry and conflict between each other. Here are a few tips that could help parents who are wrestling with sibling conflict. Talk through these four steps together as a group.
1. Don’t make comparisons. (“I don’t understand it. When Johnny was her age, he could already tie his shoes.”) Each child feels he is unique and rightly so-he is unique, and he resents being evaluated only in relation to someone else. Instead of comparison, each child in the family should be given his own goals and levels of expectation that relate only to him.
2. Don’t dismiss or suppress your children’s resentment or angry feelings. Contrary to what many people think, anger is not something we should try to avoid at all costs. It’s an entirely normal part of being human, and it’s certainly normal for siblings to get furious with one another. They need the adults in their lives to assure them that mothers and fathers get angry, too, but have learned control and that angry feelings do not give license to behave in cruel and dangerous ways. This is the time to sit down, acknowledge the anger (“I know you hate David right now but you cannot hit him with a stick”). and talk it through.
3. Try to avoid situations that promote guilt in siblings. First we must teach children that feelings and actions are not synonymous. It may be normal to want to hit the baby on the head, but parents must stop a child from doing it. The guilt that follows doing something mean is a lot worse than the guilt of merely feeling mean. So parental intervention must be quick and decisive.
4. When possible, let brothers and sisters settle their own differences. Sounds good but it can be terribly unfair in practice. Parents have to judge when it is time to step in and mediate, especially in a contest of unequals in terms of strength and eloquence (no fair hitting below the belt literally or figuratively). Some long-lasting grudges among grown siblings have resulted when their minority rights were not protected.
Taken from: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting/sibling_rivalry.shtml
4. Read the following verse from the Bible and quote. What do these say about sibling differences and what does this mean for our own families?
James 2:1
1 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism.
“Comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony.” – Elizabeth Fischel
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on handling sibling differences.
Take Home Activity: Allow each child in your family to pick out a family fun activity that can be completed in an evening or as part of a family weekend adventure. Here are some ideas that may get you started if you’re stuck: go to the movies, play a game, go on a hike or bike ride, go out for ice cream, etc. After you’ve completed this for each child in your family, talk together about the different things that you did. You can tie this into our discussion by talking about how God has made each of your children differently. There are some things that we all like to do, but there are probably other things that one family member may enjoy or appreciate more than the rest. This could be a great chance to celebrate the differences that exist in your family.
Next week’s topic: Purpose for Discipline
Looking Ahead: Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Plan Your Epitaph
I’m in the process of reading Chazown by Craig Groeschel, and I just finished Part I. At the end of this section he encourages the reader to finish six statements. “Forget the past, because you can’t change it. During those final days (of your life), how do you want to be able to finish the following statements?” I thought I throw out my initial responses to these statements here (but to be honest I have more pondering to do to fully finish these completely). I also thought it would be challenging for you to consider these as well. I’d love to hear how you would finish these statements.
1. The thing that was most important to me was…
God (first) and my family (second).
2. People say I stood for…
loyalty, integrity, Christ, and community.
3. I made a difference in my world by…
setting an example for my own family and other families and by pointing others to Christ.
4. God was glorified because I…
followed Him and led out loud in my home, in my job, in my community, and in my church.
5. People knew I loved them because…
I listened to them.
6. The reason I expect God to say “well done” is…
(tough one) I stuck with it through thick and thin. I stayed true to Him. I trusted in Him. I lived to help others find Him.
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Group – Week 3 (Teamwork)
Week 3 – Teamwork
Icebreaker Question: Tell the group about a time when you had to work with a team to get something accomplished (it could be on the sports field, at work, in school, etc.).
I’ve had the pleasure of being on many great teams. At work, I have to work with other colleagues to get projects successfully completed. At home, I have to work together with my wife to lead our family and to make sure our home functions effectively. At church, I have to work together with other small group coaches to keep our small group ministry rolling in the correct direction. When I think of my favorite team experiences, I think about a mission trip that I went on when I was in high school. Our group of teenagers worked together to build two stone walls for a Habitat for Humanity house in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. Everyone had to work together to accomplish this project. Some of us dug the foundation for the walls, some of us picked stones from the quarry, some of us placed the stones into the wall, some of us carried water to the other workers, some of us backfilled dirt into the wall. It took all of us to build these walls.
It’s an incredible experience to be part of a team that’s working together. On the other hand, it can be pure torture to be a part of a team that doesn’t click.
teamwork – the cooperative effort of a team of people for a common end
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/teamwork
The Supernanny DVD clips this week and in the previous weeks have shown good and bad teamwork. Just like a championship sports team, teamwork is essential to a successful family. The first step in successful parenting is getting on the same page. Being part of a group like this is a step in the right direction. It’s also important to remember that there is no “I” in team. It takes everyone in the family.
Get comfortable, put on your team spirit, and get ready to team up for a great discussion.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Gorbea Family Episode DVD Disc 2: 0:57-3:53, 7:00-8:53, 13:58-16:21, 19:24-21:10, 24:22-26:18, and 35:15-39:42. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. What observations can you make from the DVD clips that relate to teamwork?
2. What does teamwork look like at your house? In your marriage? In your family?
3. What things do you do or can you do to work as a team?
4. Read the following verses from the Bible. What do they say about teamwork and how can we apply them in our families?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
I Corinthians 12:12-26
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on respect.
Take Home Activity: Activity: Carry On
Point: We must learn how much responsibility we can handle.
Supplies: You’ll need building blocks, a watch with second-hand, paper, and pencil.
Activity: Have your family work together to create an obstacle course in your home. Your course might consist of crawling under a table, walking around a chair, and jumping over several toys. Let the children determine how simple or elaborate this will be.
When the course has been completed, have each family member make a “practice run” through the course. Time each person and record this time. Remember to go through the course yourself as well!
Share: In this game, we’re all going to be racing against our own time. Don’t worry if your time is slower than another family member. As we go through the course again, see if you can match or beat your own time. But this time let’s make it a bit more challenging.
Age Adjustments: FOR OLDER CHILDREN, continue the discussion by having everyone list their regular responsibilities. Family members may be surprised as they realize what others actually accomplish each day. Take time to thank each other for the responsibilities carried each day that help others in the family. For example, children may thank Mom for all the driving she does for them, or a parent might thank a child for the regular dish-washing he does so everyone can eat on clean plates, and so on.
Activity continued: Give each person two of the building blocks. Explain that these must be carried while going through the course. Have everyone go through the course again, making note of each person’s time. Then add to the challenge by giving everyone two more blocks. Go through the course again and again, each time adding two more blocks to each person’s load. Don’t suggest this to children, but if they figure out creative ways to carry the blocks such as tucking them into belts or stowing them in pockets, that’s okay.
Continue with this as long as family members are having fun, or until you run out of blocks! Then put the blocks away and gather together again for discussion. Look over your time record and see which runs through had the best times.
Question:
– How did carrying the blocks affect your ability to go through the obstacle course? (Usually, the more blocks, the harder to handle the course.)
– What was the best way to get yourself and the blocks through the course? (Let all share.)
– When did you start to feel like you couldn’t handle any more blocks?
Share: Now let’s discuss what this game has to do with our lives. Imagine your day as an obstacle course. Every time you add a responsibility to your day, it’s like adding a block.
Discuss:
– What responsibilities do you have each day? (Let family members list things like jobs, chores, studies, caring for pets, etc.)
– How are they like blocks as you go through the day? (They can become a lot to handle.)
– When do you feel like you’re carrying too many blocks?
– Do you think you should be trying to carry more blocks of responsibility through each day, or less? Explain.
– How do we learn to be responsible? (We take on new responsibilities and explore how to handle them as we grow.)
– How do we get someone to trust enough to show we can be responsible? (We need to prove ourselves faithful in small tasks before we can take on larger ones.)
Taken from Heritage Builders / An Introduction to Family Nights by Kurt Brunner and Jim Weidmann. 1997. pgs. 71-72.
Next week’s topic: Establishing Appropriate Boundaries
Looking Ahead: Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences, Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide – Week 2 (Respect)
Week 2 – Respect
Icebreaker Question: Tell the group about a person who you respect and describe why you respect that person.
There are many people in my life who I respect for all kinds of reasons. I respect my parents and my wife’s parents. I respect by boss. I respect those in the church who are in leadership. I respect my teachers. I respect the political leaders throughout our country. One person who I respect is Ray Rivera. Ray was one of my youth leaders at the church where I grew up in New Jersey. I looked at him as an authority figure, as a spiritual guide, and as a family friend. Ray and his wife Joann always had time for me if I needed someone to talk with. While I knew that he wasn’t perfect, I saw him making good decisions and leading with integrity and with a servant’s heart.
It’s wonderful that we have people in our lives like Ray Rivera – people who deserve respect not just because of their positions of authority but also because of their actions.
respect
- admiration for a person or entity because of perceived merit
- regard for the rights of others; tolerance
to respect
- to have respect for.
- to have regard for the rights of others.
- to consent to abide by an agreement.
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Respect
As parents, God has put you in a position that warrants respect. One of the Ten Commandments instructs us to give honor to our parents. As our children continue to grow, they begin to strive for respect from their parents and from others. One thing to remember is that respect is not given, it’s earned. Have you led your kids in a way that deserves respect? If not, there is hope! It’s never too late to make a change. Also, it’s important to understand that the positive steps you take today will have an impact for the long haul. When you positively parent your kids, you are not just impacting them. You are making a difference for generations to come.
This week we’ll tackle the subject of respect in our families. The Supernanny DVD clips will give us a glimpse into a family struggling with some respect issues. The DVD will also point to the importance of respect in our homes. Take a seat, grab your favorite movie candy, and think about Aretha Franklin as we prepare to talk about R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Orm Family Episode DVD Disk 1: 1:22-5:45, 8:05-12:00, 13:15-16:26, 23:49-26:39, and 34:43-38:42. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. How do the DVD clips we just viewed relate to respect?
2. When it comes to parenting, what is respect?
3. How do the quotes below relate to respect?
“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.” Benjamin Franklin
“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” Jackie Robinson
“Men are respectable only as they respect” Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. What specific things have you done at your home to encourage a respect?
We want to teach our kids to be respectful and to be deserving of respect. Our kids look to us as examples. Here are some questions that challenge we as parents to set the right tone.
To teach your kids about respect, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I say “please,” “thank you” and excuse me” to my children?
- Do I allow my children to express their negative feelings?
- Do I compliment and praise my children?
- Do I show respect when disciplining my children?
- Do I use unnecessary or unkind remarks when speaking to my kids?
- Do I listen attentively to my children?
- Do I discipline my children in the presence of others?
- Do I apologize to my children when I fail?
Taken from: http://www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2000/002/3.30.html
5. The Bible provides interesting insights into many areas of our lives. How do the verses below relate to respect?
Exodus 20:12
12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
6. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on respect.
Take Home Activity: Part of respect is thinking of others before we think of ourselves. Take time as a family to read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). Now gather your family in a circle with a basin of soapy water, a washcloth, and a towel. Take turns washing each other’s feet. Start by washing the person’s feet on your left. When you’re done, have that person wash the person’s feet on their left and so on.
After everyone is finished, go around the circle and affirm each other. In other words, take time to tell each person in the circle what you appreciate about them. Have each person in the family talk about every other person in the circle.
Talk about how it felt to have your feet washed and to wash someone else’s feet. Talk about how it felt to show appreciation for others and to receive appreciation from others. Finally, ask everyone how these actions show respect for each other. Come to next week’s group prepared to share about your foot washing and affirmation time.
Note to leader: If time and resources permit, pick up towels or bars of soap to give out to each parent or couple to use for this activity.
Next week’s topic: TEAMWORK
Looking Ahead: Week 4 – Establishing Appropriate Boundaries, Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences, Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Group – Routine (Week 1)
As I promised in my previous post, here is the discussion guide for week 1 of our Supernanny parenting discussion group. This week we concentrate on the importance of routine.
Week 1 – Routine
Icebreaker Question: Tell the group about a time when you got in trouble as a kid and describe the consequences of your actions.
When I was a kid, I can specifically remember riding my red bike with a black banana seat way outside of the boundaries that my parents had set for me. My bike was notorious for eating up the pant legs of my favorite Toughskins® jeans. Needless to say, one time when I was out-of-bounds, my pant legs jammed up in my bike chain and I couldn’t get them out. A friendly stranger took the time to cut my pant leg out of the chain, load up my bike in her car, and drive me home. My parents were obviously disappointed and I was in big trouble. I was grounded for a whole week. I wasn’t permitted to play outside with my friends or to watch television for the whole week. As a first or second grader, it felt like I had been sent to maximum security prison.
Stories like these remind us that we were not perfect children. We didn’t always make the right choices. It’s helpful to remember this when we think about our own children. They will make bad choices sometimes also. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s move into our topic for tonight.
routine A course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure
As defined at: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/routine
Families often struggle with a chaotic existence – running from activity to activity, trying to jam down a quick bite to eat, squeezing in homework, rushing to catch the bus, wrestling with work, etc. We live this way day after day, week after week, month after month. In this midst of this hustle and bustle, our parenting takes on a survival mentality. Wouldn’t it be great if we could change this?
This week we’ll tackle the subject of routine in our families. The Supernanny DVD clips will give us a glimpse into a family without a routine. The video will also demonstrate the importance of routine in our homes. Grab a comfortable seat, get the popcorn, and get ready for a lively discussion on routine.
Note to leader: Show the following clips from the Supernanny Season 1 DVD: The Bullard Family Episode DVD Disk 1: 1:33-3:34, 6:21-12:51, 14:00-14:37, 17:33-18:42, and 36:30-40:10. You may choose to show all the clips at once or you may decide to stop the DVD after each clip and discuss the answer to question one or pull out key points as you go.
1. How do the DVD clips we just viewed relate to routine?
2. Why is a routine important?
We send mixed messages to our kids when we aren’t consistent even in our schedules. For example, if we aren’t consistent in putting our kids to bed at the same time each night, they will probably develop problems with going to bed. If we aren’t consistent with meal times and snack times, our kids will develop unhealthy eating patterns. Meal times will also tend towards chaotic instead of connecting. Establishing a routine for your family helps kids develop healthy patterns for the future.
3. What specific things have you done at your home to encourage a family routine?
Every family will have variations to their own routines that work for them. Here are some helpful tips as you think about routine in your own home.
To create routines that work for you and your children, keep the following points in mind:
- Have realistic expectations. Be aware of your children’s capabilities and know when you are asking too much.
- Be consistent. Follow the same routine each day so that your kids know what is expected of them.
- Set clear limits and discuss them in advance. This allows children to understand when things will occur, and gives them time to prepare themselves for what is coming next.
- Provide cues for transition times. This can be extremely helpful, since children do not tell time.
- Be flexible. Adapt your routines as your children grow and change.
Taken from: http://www.pbs.org/parenttales/consistency.htm
4.The Bible provides interesting insights into many areas of our lives. How do the verses below relate to this session’s topic?
Proverbs 24:30-34 (TNIV)
30 I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; 31 thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. 32 I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: 33 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— 34 and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.
Proverbs 25:28 (TNIV) 28 Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
5. List one or two things that you will do differently or that you will try as a result of our discussion on routine.
Take Home Activity: Work together as a couple, as a family, or individually to come up with a schedule that works for you and your family. Be as detailed as possible. Be sure to include things like meal times, bed times, etc. Begin to implement the schedule before next week. Come to next week’s group prepared to share your schedule and how things are going so far.
Note to leader: If time and resources permit, pick up poster board to give out to each parent or couple. Tell them to put there schedule on the poster board and bring it back next week.
Next week’s topic: RESPECT
Looking Ahead: Week 3 – Teamwork, Week 4 – Establishing Appropriate Boundaries, Week 5 – Handling Sibling Differences, Week 6 – Purpose for Discipline, Week 7 – Methods of Discipline, Week 8 – Introducing Your Kids to Christ
Supernanny – Introduction to a Dicussion Guide
A couple of year’s ago, my wife and I wrote a curriculum for a parenting discussion group based on the ABC Supernanny reality series. The idea was to encourage parents in their challenging journey of raising a family. Over the next week or two, I’ll try to post the discussion guides that went along with each week’s discussion. I’d love to hear your ideas as they pertain to the topic for the week. To get things started, I’ve attached the introduction to the curriculum, so you can get a feel for where this is headed.
Supernanny Parenting Discussion Group
A Guide for Parents Seeking to Make a Positive Difference in Their Kids
Introduction
Parenting is not easy. And there are not any perfect parents. Our parents were not perfect. Their parents were not perfect. Our kids will not be perfect parents. And we are not perfect parents. While it is a fact that we have all screwed up at one time or another through our past parenting, there is still hope. We can make a change today by deciding to do parenting differently from this day forward. This discussion guide is designed to help parents make positive changes starting today.
Concept
My wife, Leanne, and I are committed to doing our best to bring up our kids in a way the honors God and helps them to succeed in their own lives. We came up with this idea as we realized that there are other parents out there who want to make a difference in their kids’ lives but do not know where to start. There are also a lot of parents who feel like they are alone in this endeavor. We as parents have plenty that we can share with each other to spur each other on. “It takes a village” sometimes to raise our children. The idea for community parenting is not new; however, in America, parents are reluctant to admit their need for help.
Leanne and I are also hooked on reality television. From Survivor to Amazing Race to Extreme Makeover Home Edition to Kid Nation, we are often intrigued by the happenings on these “reality” based shows. One of the shows that has gained a certain level of attention for parents is the ABC Supernanny series. Each week on this show, Jo Frost, the English nanny visits the home of a family struggling to bring order to their home. In each episode, viewers see families struggling with crazy mealtimes, sleepless bedtimes, wandering children, disrespectful outbreaks, lack of discipline, chaotic schedules, etc. By the end of the hour, Jo has successfully brought order and discipline to these homes.
Sure this is television, but many parents in reality do not know how to deal with many of these things. While we may not necessarily agree with the way some of the things are handled on the show, there is no doubt that Jo’s approaches can make a difference in families. This is where the idea of a Supernanny Parenting Discussion Group comes in. First, envision sitting around a living room or family room with other parents. Now, imagine showing clips from the ABC show that relate to a specific parenting topic. Next, imagine following up the video clips with a conversation about the topic. Finally, add in some Biblical wisdom to the topic. The results are amazing. Each week parents walk away with a new perspective on the week’s topic along with a fun take home activity to try at home with the kids.
Topics
There are many topics that could be discussed in a parenting discussion group. We would encourage you to consider adding a week or two to your group’s schedule to tackle more of these subjects. This guide provides a structure for discussing the following subjects: routine, respect, teamwork, establishing appropriate boundaries, handling sibling differences, purpose of discipline, methods for discipline, and introducing your kids to Christ. The guide is set up to walk groups through eight weeks of conversations.
We would recommend a few things before you get started. First, consider meeting together with your group for a get-to-know-each-other social activity before you dive into the discussion topics. For example, plan a picnic or BBQ where families can come together and meet before they dive into the fun stuff. This social event is a great place to discuss logistics and establish a group charter. If you are dividing up the snack duties, this is a great time to get group members to volunteer. Here is an example of some of the logistical things that our group considered. You can use these or add your own.
Supernanny Sample Logistics Items/Charter
– We will aim to start our discussions at 6:30PM. Call us (555) 555-5555 if you’re running late or just can’t make it.
– You’re welcome to arrive starting at 6:00PM to enjoy hanging out and to have a bite to eat.
– We will end the discussion at 8:00PM promptly. You’re welcome to hang around for a little while, but we’d ask that you aim to be out of here by 8:30PM, so we can put our kids to bed (and get some sleep ourselves).
– The discussion group is for parents only. Kids should stay with the sitters.
– What’s said in the group stays in the group.
– In general, we will try to stay on topic. Having said that, we realize that sometimes the Spirit may move the conversation off topic.
– Discussion should be appropriate. This is not a place to bash your spouse. This is an opportunity to begin or continue the process of working together.
– Childcare is provided with a suggested donation of $X/family. Please put the money in the childcare envelope on the kitchen table.
– Parents, please run over the following ground rules/information with your kids:
o Kids must listen to the sitters.
o There will be some different options for the kids. For example, outside games (while the weather permits), a VeggieTales video, ping-pong, and toys.
o Kids are welcome to bring their own games, toys, or homework to keep them occupied during our group.
o Lights stay on downstairs.
o No food or drink in the basement.
o In the basement, kids should stay out of the curtained off areas at all times.
– If the sitters need help with your child, please find a quiet place to talk with your child so as not to disrupt the other kids or parents.
– Please let us know if you have any ideas that will make this better for our group and for future parenting discussion groups.
– Have fun!!!
Finally, we understand that parenting can be overwhelming at times. We also believe that there is hope for all of us who want to honor God through our parenting. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 [NIV], “Train up a child in the way he [or she] should go, and when he [she] is old, he [she] will not depart from it.” By choosing to follow God’s model for parenting, we are impacting our kids’ future. We are also impacting generations to follow as they will pass these things along to their kids who will pass them along to theirs.
Note to Leaders/Facilitators
Each week, there will be Supernanny DVD clips to get ready for your group (you will need the first season of Supernanny on DVD). We would recommend that you preview these clips before your next meeting, so you’re ready to go and can help in the direction of the discussion. Each week, you will have a few questions that will help to direct your conversation. Feel free to add, subtract, or modify these questions to meet the needs of your group. Each week’s topic will include a take home activity. Try to start each week’s discussion, by reviewing how each parent/family did with their take home assignment. The discussion guide will also include a few key teaching points for each week to help you kickoff the discussion. Finally, we would encourage you to end your weekly meeting with a word of prayer. This is a great opportunity to tie together the week’s conversation. Since we weren’t sure where several of our group members were from a spiritual perspective, we also put out a prayer request box and a suggestion box. This provided a chance to pray for those in the group who might be struggling with specific concerns.
Making Music With My Son
Last night, I decided to take out the saxophone for a little bit. Back in junior high and high school, I used to play it quite a bit. I loved the fact that I could make music and express myself through this instrument. I loved playing in several jazz groups, concert bands, marching bands, pit bands, and even all-state bands.
A couple of years ago, I took lessons again to see if I could get back into playing shape. To some degree it worked. I relearned a few things, and I was able to get my lip back into playing shape.
Getting back to last night, my son has been working on a few pieces for us to play together. Isaac has a real gift; his ear for music is incredible. He enjoys playing the trumpet. And his piano skills are really coming along. Last night, we jammed to two songs, Going Home and Tequilla Sunrise. It was so much fun to play with him. We both have some work to do before we’re ready to take our show on the road, but it is so much fun to play together.
Today, I’m thanking God for this gift of music.
Psalm 150
1 Praise the LORD.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
2 Praise him for his acts of power;
praise him for his surpassing greatness.
3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
4 praise him with timbrel and dancing,
praise him with the strings and pipe,
5 praise him with the clash of cymbals,
praise him with resounding cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD.