Dear Me At Age 13

Dear Me (at 13),

First of all, let my introduce myself.  I’m you at age 40.  Yes, you make it that far, and there’s still a bright future ahead of you.  I thought you could use some encouragement.  After all, 8th grade and the whole teenage thing can be a little awkward at times.  And while I know you strive to be cool, you often feel out-of-place.

Here’s the deal.  You need to relax a little.  Believe it or not, God has big plans for your life.  You will finish high school, and you will do quite well academically.  You won’t have any girl friends during this period of your life, but don’t sweat it.  You end up with an unbelievable wife.  Just be patient.  God is good.

You will run a season of Cross Country and of Winter Track.  You’ll hate it for the most part.  At age 40, you actually love to run.  You will run many races in your 30s including five half marathons and three marathons.  That’s 26.2 miles, and you actually find enjoyment in this pursuit.  It would be nice if you could put a little more effort into the running thing now, so it’s easier later.  Here’s the funny thing, both of your kids will actually go onto run Cross Country.

Kids?  Yep!  You have two amazing kids.  Your daughter (and oldest child) is amazing.  She’s a lot like you.  She’s highly driven to achieve.  She is so beautiful.  And she has an incredible heart for others.  Your son is great.  He is so talented.  He’s a sensitive kids (most of the time), and he will keep you on your toes.  Spend time with your kids (when that happens).  The time goes by so quickly.  Make the most of each and every opportunity you have with them.

You know how church is a big focus in your family now?  Well, church continues to be a major focus for you and your family.  Don’t be afraid to try something new and different?  I know you don’t like change, and you’re used to the tradition of church services at a Presbyterian churches.  You will end of up being active in a church that meets at a movie theater.  I know it sounds crazy, but this experience will stretch you in amazing ways.

Speaking of stretching, you eventually grow.  It doesn’t really start kicking in until the end of high school, but eventually you stretch to almost 6’6″.  And yes, you will dunk a basketball.  It’s pretty cool!  You’ll actually get your first dunk in a game when you’re future wife is in the stands watching.  Stretching becomes a major theme in your life.  You actually write a blog every day about how God is stretching you.  Oh, a blog is kind of like a journal on the computer that other people can read.  It goes up on this thing called the internet that everyone in the world can see.  I know you do pretty well in English, but it’s not your thing right now.  Pay attention now, because you eventually love to write.  Stick through honors English in high school.  Your senior year will be especially challenging, but you’ll get through it.

As for friends, some of your closest friends today are made over the next few years in high school.  You will stay in close contact with a few guys who you know through high school and church.  While you will all eventually be separated by miles, you will establish traditions that help you get together a few times each year.  Your families will become good friends, and you’ll watch each others kids grow up before your eyes.  Camping will be a huge part of this tradition.

Keep going on missions trips.  These trips will be spring boards towards future serving opportunities.  Keep your eyes open for ways to serve others.  While life will become very busy, fulfillment will never be greater than when you are serving others.

I don’t want to scare you with all the other details.  Life will be challenging at times.  You will experience fear, anxiety, loneliness, despair, hopelessness, and depression.  Let God be your Rock.  Lean on Him, your family, your church, and your friends.  God will see you through the storms.  There will also be many mountain top experiences and successes.  Give God the glory for these times as well.  Every good and perfect gift comes from Him.

Finally, let Proverbs 3:5-6 and Colossians 4:2-6 become your life verses.  Look them up, memorize them.  Find ways to live them out.

Keep your chin up!

Me (at age 40)

What would you tell your 13-year old self?

Role Models

When I was a little kid, everyone looked up to sports figures as their role models.  I remember looking up to Walter Payton, Mike Schmidt, and Julius Erving.  I had a life-size poster of Julius Erving in my bedroom growing up that said, “How do you measure up to a classic?”  These guys weren’t perfect.  In fact, they all made mistakes, but as far as I can tell, they realized and accepted that they were role models.  They knew that thousands of kids were looking up to them as examples.

More recently, many sports figures reject the notion that they are role models.  Charles Barkley was known for his statements rejecting the role model tag.  Many professional sports players today are in the news for breaking the rules and breaking the law, instead of breaking records and breaking down barriers.  I realize that this isn’t true of every sports figure today, but it saddens me that kids don’t have the same role models that they used to have in the professional sports world.

So where else should we be looking for role models?

Hopefully, kids are looking at their teachers, their parents, and leaders in their communities and churches.  Adults need role models too!  We need bosses and business leaders we can look up to.  We need men and women who can set an example worth following.  We need couples in our lives who demonstrate commitment and love.  And we need Christians around us who will point us towards Christ.

I’ve been blessed over the years to have many role models.  To list all of them would be impossible, but there are a few that come to mind:

• Ray and Joann Rivera – They were youth leaders in my high school youth group.  They set a great example in their marriage and in their individuals spiritual journeys.
• Wes Kennedy – Wes was an elder at our church and a community business man who consistently demonstrated the values of working hard and looking out for others.
• Jeff and Glynis Murphy – We met the Murphy family during our first year of marriage.  They were role models in the way they lived out their marriage.  They taught us and showed us the importance of regular date nights and times away.  They also introduced us to the Family Life Weekend to Remember marriage conferences.  (See my post from a couple of weeks ago for more about this.)
• Craig Fischer – Craig has been my boss for many of the 16+ years I’ve worked for Siemens.  He is another example of someone who works hard, who values employees, and knows the importance of family.
• Frank Chiapperino – Frank was the small group pastor at the church I attend.  He showed me the value of reading, of writing, and of leading with excellence.
• My parents – Faith and family were lived out in my home growing up.  Believe me, it wasn’t perfect, but I saw how God could still use us despite our imperfections.  I learned the importance of church community participation as it was clearly modeled by my folks.

It’s so important to have people like this in our lives.  We need role models who are worth following.  We need to learn from people like this, so we in turn can be role models for those coming behind us.

While sports figures and celebrities shy away from the label of role model.  This is a title I want in my life and a label I want to earn.

Who is your role model?  Are you a role model worth following?

Pint Size Dreams Or Ocean Size Dreams

Over the course of this year, God has definitely been working on my understanding of faith.  Back in the spring, I posted about taking a leap of faith.  That message is still working on me.  This weekend, we had the honor and pleasure of hosting Dave Sgro and his son, Luke, at our house on Saturday night and to our church on Sunday morning.  Dave and his family are missionaries in the town of Xenacoj in Guatemala.  Our team worked with his organization (Guatemala Outreach (Go!) Ministries) while we were in Guatemala this summer.

Dave and Luke arrived at our house late around 10PM on Saturday night.  I’m sure he was tired from driving and we were tired from a busy day, but we stayed up for a couple of hours to hear more about Dave’s ministry.  It’s exciting to hear how God is providing ideas and resources for things that are having a huge impact on the town of Xenacoj.  Dave also shared his families’ story about their decision to sell everything they owned in North Carolina including their home and business and to move their entire family to Guatemala two years ago.

As we talked, Dave talked about our expectations for God.  He says that we often limit God through our expectations and dreams.  We expect God to fill our pint size hopes and dreams when God is actually capable of filling ocean size hopes and dreams.  It was a reminder that we need to dream big.  I wrote about this earlier when I talked about building a house in Guatemala.  This gave me a taste of this.  I could have just sought out enough money to go on the trip, but I decided to see if we could build a house through The Stretched Community.  I wonder even in that thought if I my expectations were too limited.

What would happen if we really dreamed bigger – if we realized that God is able to do far more than we could ever imagine?

Here are some of the ideas that come to mind for me:

• A family missions trip this summer to Xenacoj with other families.  No, a lifetime of Kingdom Journeys that change families both here in America and around the world.
• Another house built by and through the Stretched Community.  No, a real Stretched Community built by and through The Stretched Blog and The Stretched Community.
• A book.  No, ten books!

It’s my prayer that you and I would wake up to the vast love and power of a God who is able to do far more that we could imagine.  Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3 makes more sense to me now than ever:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

(Ephesians 3:14-21)

Seriously, how are you putting limits on your dreams?  How can you enlarge your dreams?  What is one area where you need to grasp how wide and long and high and deep God’s love is for you?  What’s your dream – is it pint-sized or ocean-sized?

Good and Perfect Gifts

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

What good and perfect gift can you celebrate today?
Today, I’m hooking up with The Sunday Community.  Hop on over here to see what I’m talking about.

Once Upon A Time…Continues

Last weekend, we started a new story.  The story grew as people left new paragraphs in the comments.  Today, I’ll give you the story so far along with my own update in this post.  Then, it’s your turn to add to the story again.  Let’s see what happens next!

Once upon a time in the town of Milton, John Miller lived with his young family on 2nd Avenue.  John, an aspiring artist in his mid 30s, spent his days working down at the local shipyard where he loaded and unloaded ships as they came in and out of the port.  John was married to Caroline, and they had three kids – Jenny (10), Danny (8), and Billy (5).  They lived a happy simple life.  Nothing major happened in their lives.  But that all changed one warm summer day when John discovered something amazing down at the shipyard.  (Jon Stolpe)

The shipyard had been the scene of many interesting stories over the years. There was the time that the sailor found a message in a bottle that took him on a journey around the world. Another story is told of a little boy found wandering alone through the shipyard. He turned out to be the lost child of a prominent local citizen. The man who found the boy was awarded a huge sum of money by the parents out of gratitude for rescuing their child. But on this summer day, what took place was far more amazing than anything the old shipyard had ever seen before. It all centered around a tiny puppy and gruff old sailor.  (Leah Adams)

John had always given surly Patch MacGruder a wide berth at work. He’d duck behind shipping containers when the old sailor heaved into view. When no hiding place provided cover, he’d snap his fingers as if he’s forgotten something then turn to walk briskly away from Patch.

But on this bright Monday morning, John came around a ship in dry dock and plowed
into Patch.

The old sailor growled, “Hey, careful. Can’t you see I’ve got precious cargo here?”

John said, “Sorry, Patch. I didn’t know you were here.”

A puppy wriggled in Patch’s arms. The old man scratched the tiny fur ball under
its chin. He said, “What are we going to do with this little lost fella?”

We?  (Tom Tarver)

John was beside himself? He never really talked to Patch all that much. To be honest, most of his co-workers called him the village idiot, but the more Patch spoke, the more John felt a camaraderie with him. “Patch, what are you doing here Sr? The other fellows sure would not do well knowing you’ve been tucked behind here hiding from work!” “Well” Said Patch sitting up very slowly and like every bone in his body hurt. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you fella”

John heard some of the guys yelling in the front of the warehouse. “Patch, I really gotta go, but would really love to hear your story someday.”

As John began to walk away, His vision must have become like blurry or something because he became dizzy. Everything was moving in a very weird way. All around him was like jello moving in all different directions.

All of a sudden…

John, Patch, and the Puppy…were all standing in front of a huge…(continue) (Arny Sanchez)

...freight container.

John and Patch had seen many of these over the years while working at the shipyard, but none of them were quite like this one.  This one seemed to be twice as large as the ones that normally came through the yard.  As John and Patch looked at the shipping container, they both had this feeling that there was something inside that had to be seen.  Patch looked at the lock on the door of the container, and he quickly realized that it wasn’t latched.  Without hesitation, he removed the lock.  As he began to open the door of the large green container, he was immediately knocked over.  The puppy jumped out of John’s arms and ran into the shipping container.

Okay, now it’s your turn.  Let’s see where the story goes.  Add to the story in the comments.

Ice Breaker – Are You Ready For Some Football?

Each week on The Stretched Blog, we ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

With fall comes football – high school football, college football, and professional football.  It can be a fun time of year especially if your team is doing well.  This week’s ice breaker is all about football.  If you’re not a football fan, it’s okay.  Give us your best answer anyway

My college intramural football team after a muddy game and an amazing victory!

Question: What is your favorite football team – college or professional or both?

My Answer: I’ve lived in the Philadelphia area since the summer of 1980.  The year we moved here the Eagles went to the Superbowl.  It was hard not for me to become a fan of my local team.  It’s been a tough roller coaster ride since then.  One of these years, we’ll not only make it back to the Superbowl, but we’ll win it!  My backup professional team has always been the Chicago Bears.  My family lived in the Chicago area before we moved to the Philadelphia area.  Walter Payton was my favorite player then, and he’s still my favorite all-time player.

As for college football, this won’t win be many points outside of Pennsylvania, but I’m a Penn State fan.  I graduated from Penn State with my MBA in 2006.  It hasn’t been a fun year for our fans, but I’m hopeful for the future.  If it’s division three, I’ll be cheering for Grove City College.  They don’t make the news for the football program very often, but they’re my team.  If you look up college football rushing records, you’ll find that R.J. Bowers set several all-division rushing records at Grove City College several years ago.

There you have it – my answer.  Now, it’s your turn.  Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!

I Remember When…My Brother Said “Drop That Louie”

For the last two weeks, I have featured a new series titled “I Remember When…”. This series retells memories from my past along with any reflections that go along with the story. Last week, I shared the story of our families big move to the east coast. And two weeks ago, I recalled the time when I first learned to ride a bicycle. Today, I share a story that has been tucked back in my memory bank for years.

David with his wife and son (several years ago).

For as long as I can remember, I have loved my brother, David, but I haven’t always been the best at showing it. In fact, there were times when I was down right mean to him. I’m not proud of the way I treated him on several occasions – like the time when I was seven years old. We lived in Wheaton, Illinois, and we had a couple of big maple trees in the backyard. I had a friend, Jeff Jankowski, over after church one Sunday. We had two rakes and a yard full of leaves. Being older and stronger (at the time), Jeff and I naturally took the rakes and used them to rake up a huge pile of leaves.

At some point during the afternoon, my brother who was five at the time grew tired of being left out of the raking. At first, David asked us repeatedly for one of the rakes. When this didn’t work, he resorted to trying to “steal” one of the rakes. As each moment passed, he became more and more frustrated. Finally, David had enough and he burst out one of the funniest statements I have ever heard:  “Drop that Louie!”. He was so mad. Jeff and I stood there stunned holding our rakes next to the leaf pile. We weren’t sure whether to be scared or whether to burst out laughing.

I don’t exactly remember how the altercation ended, but it seems to me we were laughing too hard to be angry with my brother. David has always had a way with words. He could always be depended on to grab the spotlight with a funny joke or story. Meanwhile, I was always the serious kid who was bent on over-achieving and protecting my spot as the oldest sibling.

I regret my behavior towards my brother when I was younger. Thankfully, I have had a chance to apologize to him for the “sins of my past”. We’re still very different people today. He’s a Packers fan, and I’m an Eagles fan. We’re also polar opposites when it comes to politics. But we have learned to love and respect each other. And we share a common bond in Christ. I’m so thankful for my brothers!

Do you have any siblings? What kind of relationship do you have with your sibling? Do you have any funny stories that involve your siblings?

Take Time To Reflect

Last night, our Guatemala missions team got together at our house for a reunion. It was fun to have “Guatemalan” cuisine, to watch some of the video footage from our trip, and to hang out with these teenagers who changed my life just over a month ago.

I think it was appropriate for our team to have five or six weeks to gain perspective on our trip. And I think it was important that we reunited for an opportunity to reflect and reminisce on the nine days we spent together in a foreign land this summer.

Since returning home, I have definitely fallen back into the rat race of “normal” life at home with a job, two active kids, two dogs, and a generally non-stop schedule. I get to reflect a little each day through my blog – which is certainly a place to start. Yet it often feels like I have little time to stop and think. It’s so important that we take time to reflect.

Eastern University professor and notes sociologist, Tony Campolo, did a study several years ago. The study asked several elderly people a question like this: If you could live your life differently knowing what you know now, what would it look like? Nearly all of them responded the same way. They would risk more, and they would reflect more.

This is something I want to learn from. I’m certainly not a big risk taker. I’m very methodical in how I approach most of my life. Maybe the first risky move for me is to learn to take a risk. Taking a leap of faith is part of this, and my trip to Guatemala was certainly a leap of faith for me.

The other part of this answer involves reflection. Part of me posting over and over again about my trip to Guatemala is an exercise in reflection. I don’t want to forget the things God showed me through this experience. I certainly don’t want to stop living, but I think it’s a good practice to stop long enough to reflect.

So where does one start? I think there are a few places to begin the process of reflection.

1. Keep a journal. Keep it by your bed at night and with you during the day. Write down thoughts that come to mind as you go throughout your day or as you struggle to sleep.
2. Start a blog. Blogging provides another platform for sharing your reflections. For me, I get to share my stretch marks right here for e world to read.
3. Schedule time to get away from the busyness of life. This could be an afternoon in the park or a weekend camping. Make it a point to remove distractions.
4. Get away from the electronic toys and gadgets. I’ll admit that this can be a struggle for me at times, but I have found freedom and refreshment from times of detox from the digital world.
5. Meet up with a friend or two on a regular basis. Share with each other. Expressing in words the life going on around us can be a major part of processing – of reflection. This morning, I’m excited to meet up with two friends of mine for breakfast. This will give us a great opportunity to reflect on how God has blessed us with great friendships and on life since we last met together.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Philippians 4:8

What would you add to this list? How do you foster reflection in your own life?

Remembering 9/11

This has been a year for me to remember 9/11.

Last year at this time, I was running the 1st Ever Race to Remember Half Marathon.  It was a time to remember and pray for those directly impacted by the events of 9/11.  You can read about it here.  (I’m hoping to make this an annual event, but this year’s “race” will be held later this fall as I recover from tendonitis in my knee.)

This past fall, our family journeyed to New York City where we visited the 9/11 Memorial at the site of the Twin Towers.  This was certainly a moving experience.  You can read more about my experience here.

Finally this summer, Leanne and I stopped by the Flight 93 Memorial in Shanksville, PA.  Again, it was an experience I won’t soon forget.

As I think about today, I remember.  I remember the race. I remember the visits to these two memorials.  I remember what I was doing eleven years ago on a clear September day.  I remember the families who lost loved ones this day.  And I remember that we still live in a broken world that needs to know the love of God.

What were you doing eleven years ago?  How are you spending the day?  Are you doing anything special?

Don’t Take It For Granted

On Saturday, I spent quite a bit of time cleaning our oven and stove top.  I cleaned the oven using the self-clean function on the stove.  This meant that I simply had to wipe out the oven after the cleaning cycle was complete.  The stove top took a little more elbow grease. I used Easy-Off first to loosen up the built up grease and baked in food deposits.  Then I scrubbed and polished until the stove top sparkled.  When it was all done, it looked great.

During my summer missions trip to Guatemala, our team installed 40 stoves in the homes of widows in the town of Xenacoj.  The materials for these stoves was donated through a grant from Rotary International.  Each stove weighed 450 pounds and cost $125 US.  The stoves are made with 11 cinder blocks, 5 prefabricated cement pieces, 7 clay brick pieces, a few sheet metal pieces, pummus stone, and two flat metal squares.  Once we got the hang of it, we could put a stove together in under an hour.  This included leveling out the ground under the stove, installing all the stove pieces, and cutting a hole in the roof.

This stove was not just another appliance in the house. By far, this was the most expensive material item that the widow had in her home.  The stoves burn at least 10% wood than their normal methods of cooking over an open fire.  The stoves also provide significant opportunity for health improvement by exhaust the smoke from the fire outside of the house instead of letting it linger inside the house and in the lungs of its inhabitants.

I didn’t think about these stove until long after I was finished cleaning up our oven and stoves at our house.  But when I did think about it, I realized that I don’t want to take it for granted that I have so much.  Not only do I not have to worry about breathing in the smoke of the cooking fire, I don’t have to work to gather enough wood to cook, and I don’t have to tend the fire to make sure it stays lit and gets hot enough to cook.  I simply turn a knob and maybe press a button or two and my stove top is on or my oven is baking to the desired temperature.  These are certainly luxuries compared to what I saw in Guatemala.

I’m not looking at taking out our cooking equipment to sell just so I feel better although the thought has crossed my mind that we could prune down our belongings quite a bit.  I guess it’s just a reminder to me that I shouldn’t take for granted things like cooking equipment, other home appliances, working bathroom, running water that is safe to drink, vehicles, and other things.

While I was in Guatemala, I learned a new song.  The song still goes through my head from time to time.  I don’t know the name of the song or the chords, but it goes something like this:

There’s no place I’d rather be;

No Place I’d rather be;

No place I’d rather be;

Then here in Your love;

Here in Your love.  (Repeat)

Set a fire down in my soul

That I can’t contain

That I can’t control.

I want more of You, God.

I want more of You, God.  (Repeat)

As the song goes through my mind today, it’s a reminder that whether I’m serving in a small town in Guatemala, spending time with my family in a small town in Pennsylvania, or working at my job, I don’t want to take things for granted.  And I especially don’t want to take God for granted.  God is there right where I am, and that is where I want to be – right there in His love.

Perhaps, it’s a stretch to go from cleaning a stove to realizing the desire to have God in my life, but sometimes life works that way.  I’m thankful for the chance to clean the kitchen on Saturday.  I’m thankful for the chance to install stoves in Guatemala.  And I’m thankful for a fire in my soul that wants more of God.

What are you taking for granted today?  How’s your spiritual temperature these days?