Quality Starts With You and Me

[Note:  This is a revised repost from a series I did a while ago on the topic of quality.  Our family circumstances have changed a little bit since the original post, but the message still hits home for me.]

As a dad and as a leader, I care about passing down and exemplifying quality to my kids and to my team.  I want them to respond with quality – in the way they respond to others, in the way they produce, and in their general mindset as they go about their work and daily activities.

Unfortunately, I don’t always get it right at work or at home and neither do my kids or the members of my team.

I think it’s important to understand the benefits of doing things with quality and to recognize the downside of allowing our performance to be less than stellar.

You may know that our family currently has two dogs.  Iso is our forever doe.  He’s a lovable eight year old black lab who loves to lay around and sleep.  Cody is our 10 week old seeing eye puppy.  He keeps us on our toes with his puppy teeth and puppy energy.  Isaac, our son, is responsible for taking care of Cody which leaves our daughter, Hannah, to handle Iso.  Part of caring for Iso involves taking him outside and cleaning up the dog poop.  It’s not a glamorous job, but you can understand that it’s essential.

When Hannah takes Iso out, she’s supposed to clean up after the dog right away.  Obviously, there are major benefits to performing this task with quality.  The yard is clear of “landmines” and Hannah doesn’t have to mess with it later.

But what happens when her “job” performance lacks quality?  We end up with dog poop in the yard.  Someone steps in it and gets it in their shoes.  Then they track it in the house which leads to lots of extra cleanup and wasted time.  It also means that we have to be on Hannah more to make sure she’s doing her jobs correctly.  This isn’t fun for Hannah or for mom and dad.  Inevitably, Hannah has to spend more time cleaning up the yard, because she didn’t do it right the first time.

Suddenly, the lesson in quality starts to make more sense.  When it comes to quality, we want to do it right because we do it right – not because we do it twice.  [Click to Tweet]

As I ponder quality today, it may seem like I’m picking on my daughter.  This isn’t my intent.  These thoughts are a reminder to me that I must act with quality first – especially if I expect my team and my kids to make quality a priority.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Colossians 3:17

How have you been positively or negatively impacted by your attention or lack of attention to quality?  If you are a leader, how do you demonstrate the importance of quality to your team?

Answers From Me Part 2: Small Group Studies

Two weeks ago, I let you (The Stretched Community) ask me anything.  The questions ranged from simple and fun to serious and deep.  As promised, I wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.  This week, I’ll answer a question about small groups asked by Bridgette Petrino:

Hi Jon – I have a question for you (or anyone willing to answer)… what are some good small group studies out there? I lead a mixed group (and it’s mostly couples, but age ranges from 30-65 years old). We all get along great. We try to alternate between DVD based and book based, but now with the summer coming DVD based seems good because with vacations, etc. people can jump in and out without missing much. And, there is usually no “homework” in between sessions. It’s seems like there are so many studies out there that I get overwhelmed looking through everything, so I would greatly appreciate some suggestions. Thanks!

This is a great question, Bridgette!  The right study can make all the difference in the success or failure of a group.  It makes sense to find a curriculum that best suits your group.  It’s great to see that you have such a  diversified group of people in your small group.  At the YS Palooza conference I attended this weekend, Kara Powell (author of Sticky Faith) spoke about the benefits of inter-generational groups in helping people in sticking to God and the church.

Some of you may not know that I have a huge passion for seeing people connecting to each other and to God.  Small groups are a great place for connection.  Over the years, I’ve led and participated in many small groups.  There’s a lot of small group curriculum and discussion guides that I’ve never used, so I’d love to hear what suggestions others have for this question.  Here are a few that I’ve enjoyed over the years:

• Making Room For Life by Randy Frazee (book study)
• NOOMA by Rob Bell (DVD study – This may raise some eyebrows as Rob Bell has been in the news for some of his theological beliefs, but I’ve found this series to be an excellent springboard for discussions.)
• 40 Days of Purpose by Rick Warren (book and DVD study)
• Fully Devoted by John Ortberg (this is a discussion/book series that our church is using for the Foundations Class)
• Supernanny Parenting Discussion Guide by Jon and Leanne Stolpe (This is a parenting discussion curriculum written by my wife and I several years ago based on the Supernanny television series.)
• Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby (This book study is pretty intense.  I may not recommend it for a summer series, but it’s worth going through when your group can focus more and be consistent with attendance and homework.)

I could probably recommend a few more, but this should provide a start.  I’m hoping that The Stretched Community will chime in with more ideas to help Bridgette.

What small group curriculum do you recommend?  What’s worked well in your small group?  What hasn’t worked so well in your small group?

In Response To Boston – God Weeps Too

Yesterday was an extremely busy day at work.  I was running from meeting to meeting with little time to check e-mails or to catch the normal office rumblings when I made it back to my desk just in time to pick up a phone call from my Aunt Elaine.

Honestly, I was somewhat concerned that she might have bad news about my Grandma.  After all, she just turned 93 two weeks ago, and her health hasn’t been great the last few years.  As I picked up the phone, I could sense a relief in my aunt’s voice as she heard me say hello.  She had just received a phone call from my cousin, Jane, who was concerned that I might have been in Boston with my family running the Boston Marathon.  (For those who may not know, this isn’t completely out of the question.  I’ve run three marathon; however, qualifying for Boston isn’t in my near future.  Marathon runners will understand what I mean by this).  My aunt went on to explain that there had been bombs going off near the finish line of the Boston Marathon and many were hurt or killed.

 

After reassuring her that I was okay, I quickly clicked onto CNN.com to see what was going on.  Sure enough, breaking news was just being reported about the bombs in Boston.

A couple of hours later on my ride home, I turned the news on to listen to the reports of what was transpiring in Boston just blocks from where I stayed in November.  I heard voices and stories of despair and bewilderment.  How could someone (or someone’s) do something so evil?  How could this happen to so many innocent runners and bystanders?  It makes no sense.

It’s nature to question God at times like this.  In the midst of tragedy, personal loss, and senseless violence, we want an answer and we want to know that God is there.  As I was processing yesterday’s Boston tragedy, I was drawn to the words of God Weeps Too, a song by Eli.

God weeps too,
 God weeps too,
 Though we question Him for all that we go through,
 Still it helps me believe
 And my pain it does relieve
 when I think that God weeps too.

I have to believe that God weeps over tragedies like Boston.  We will question.  We will get confused.  We will cry.  We will experience pain.  We must remember that God weeps too.  His heart breaks over tragedy, violence, and injustice.

May our hearts break for the things that break the heart of God.

What breaks your heart?  When was the last time you wept out of tragedy or despair?  What has you questioning God these days?

YS Palooza Highlights

This weekend, I had the privilege of attending and volunteering at YS Palooza – a conference for youth ministry leaders put on by Youth Specialties and hosted by my church.  It was an incredible experience and far better than I could have ever imagined.  I could probably right several blog posts recapping each learning lab.  The speakers were all amazing, and the Youth Specialties staff were fabulous.  While the conference was meant for youth leaders, I could see many people being inspired by the dynamic teaching.

Speakers

Mark Matlock
Kara Powell
Duffy Robbins
Jonathan McKee

Artists

Andy Needham Band

Here are some of the highlights from the two-day conference:

• 45% of American teenagers are diagnosed with some type of disorder.  This problem doesn’t exist elsewhere in the world.  In the United States, teenagers are in isolation.  They lack integration into the adult world.  Most United States teens are treated as children even after puberty.  (Mark Matlock)
• “Faith growth is not just an individual thing – it’s a community/group thing.  It not just me – it’s we.”  (Mark Matlock)
• We need to learn to be still.  It’s tough to hit a moving target.  “The best activity maybe inactivity.”  It’s so easy to have the tide of life pull us away from time with God.  (Duffy Robbins)
• 1 out of 2 young people drift from God or church after high school.  (Kara Powell)
• Based on research by the Fuller Youth Institute and Sticky Faith, involvement in inter-generational worship and service opportunities is the number one variable that helps teenagers to build sticky faith.  (Kara Powell)
• Parents are the number one influence in their kid’s spiritual development, but other adults have a role to play.  (Kara Powell)
• Small group leaders need to listen to teenagers.  (Jonathan McKee)
• Connection with teenagers must be the first priority for youth ministry volunteers.  (Jonathan McKee)
• Good News People are magnets – not megaphones.  Good News People admire the shards of God’s imagine in others.  Goo News People do not live out of fear.  Good News People astonish others.  Good News People invite others into a better story.  Good News People always credit Jesus.  (Mark Matlock).

Along with the great speakers, there were many great resources mentioned worth checking out:

• Raising Wise Children by Mark Matlock
• You Lost Me by David Kinnaman
• Sticky Faith by Kara Powell
• 10 Minute Talks by Jonathan McKee
• Help!  I’m A Small Group Leader by Jonathan McKee
• Eats Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss
• Connect by Jonathan McKee

And finally, there were a couple of video clips that really hit home for me:

YS Palooza has left me with a lot to process.  More than anything, it has me thinking about how I can do a better job connecting with kids (including my own) and pointing them to Christ.

What do you think?  Who invested in you as a teenager?  Who can you invest in today?

Ice Breaker – Conferences

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

Today, I’m headed to YS Palooza – a conference for youth leaders being held at our church and put on my Youth Specialties.  I’m not completely sure what to expect, but I’m sure it will be challenging, educational, and inspiring.  And this brings us to today’s Ice Breaker question.

Question:  What experiences do you have attending conferences?  What is one of your favorite conferences?  What conference would you love to attend that you haven’t been to yet?

My Answer:  I’ve attended 3 or 4 Willow Creek Grouplife Conferences, 2 or 3 FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Conferences, and the Maximum Impact Conference (now the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast Conference).  Each one of these has been a great experience.  I really appreciated the opportunity to rub shoulders with other leaders at each of these conferences.  I enjoyed most of the speakers I’ve heard.  I totally love the opportunity to be recharged and inspired.

I would love to get to the Killer Tribes Conference, the Catalyst Conference, the EntreLeadership conference, and Jon Acuff’s Quitter Conference.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!  (As always, feel free to share links.)

Answers From Me Part 1: Spare Time

Last Friday’s Ice Breaker was all about Questions For Me.  Many of you chimed in with all kinds of questions.  It you missed out, go over to the post and add your questions (it’s not too late).  As promised, I wanted to start answering some of the questions this week.  Today, I’ll respond to a question (or several questions) from David:

What do you do in your “spare” time? You have your job, it’s got to be at least 40 hours, you’re involved in your church, you have your blog. Do you even have any spare time? What do you do for YOU? If the wife and kids were gone for a few days and you were off work, what kind of things would you do just because you have the free time?

I know, I’ve asked more than my fair share of questions – sorry. 🙂

This is a great question!  We are definitely at a stage of life with our kids that it seems like we’re running from one thing to the next to the next.  For example, yesterday after work, I went to Hannah’s track meet.  As soon as that was over, I took her home and picked up Isaac for Scouts.  I finally had dinner and a moment to sit down around 9 PM.  It’s not always like this, but you get the idea.

I like to work in the garden and in the yard.  I have a garden that is roughly 12 feet by 60 feet.  This year, I’m planting lettuce, spinach, radishes, turnips, parsnips, karoubi, potatoes, onions, shallots, peas, beans, zucchini, pumpkins, beats, tomatoes, peppers, garlic.  Working in the garden gives me a chance to work physically.  I also enjoy the opportunity to have think time.  I also like to work on home improvement projects.  This doesn’t happen a lot these days, but it is one thing I enjoy.  Over the last 16+ years of home ownership, I’ve painted, tiled floors and back splashes, installed new electrical fixtures, installed a new bathroom, and finished a basement.  Money and time are the biggest obstacles in doing more of these projects.

I probably watch more television than I should.  I’m guessing I watch about 4 – 5 hours a week.  The DVR helps keep this low, and helps me squeeze my favorite shows in when it suits my schedule.  I’m still a big sports guy, so I enjoy catching a game (or moments of a game) when I get a chance.  I’m also a closet “reality” TV fan.  I watch Survivor, The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, The Voice, and American Idol when I get a chance.

I run.  I run to help counter my love for food.  And I run for exercise and for think time.  I’ve run 3 marathons, 5 half marathons, and tons of smaller races.  I’m currently running 30-35 miles per week.  Most of this happens in the morning well before the sun comes up.  Yesterday morning, I ran 5.4 miles through the neighborhoods of my town – I was finished by 5:30AM.  And then last night while Isaac was at Scouts, I ran 5.8 miles on the track at Ursinus College.  I don’t normally run twice a day, but it just worked out this way yesterday.  On a side note, I took a nasty spill with about 1/2 mile to go last night which is probably a story for another blog post.  I was able to get up and finish my run, but I was glad that one of the Scouts was prepared with a First Aid kit when I made it back to the meeting.

I’m sure I have a lot of other interests, but this should give you a tiny glimpse into the “spare” time of Jon Stolpe.  A lot of my spare time is discovered by being intentional with my daily calendar and weekly calendar.

So now it’s your turn, what do you like to do in your spare time?

Stretched To Transparency

This is a guest post by Chris Vonada. He is an author and geologist with many other hobbies. He lives in Jacksonville, FL. Visit ChrisVonada.com to find out more about his books:  Common Ground… Geology Happens! and Believe… And You Say?

 

 

This is a guest post from Chris Vonada. Chris is an author and geologist, and also enjoys reading, running, anything outdoors, travel, family, friends, music and life! He writes about his passions at I’m Just Thinkin’ (http://chrisvonada.com). You can also follow him on Twitter (https://twitter.com/ChrisVonada).

8 Ways To Build A Hedge Of Protection Around Our Teenagers

We’re approaching a parenting milestone later this year.  Our daughter, Hannah, will be able to get her driver’s permit towards the end of the calendar year.  It’s a bit scary to imagine our little girl behind the wheel of a car.

Over the Easter weekend, I had a chance to talk with my Grandpa who lives in the Midwest.  Our conversation was filled with updates on our family and the activities that keep us running from one thing to the next.  At the end of our conversation as always, my Grandpa prayed for our family.  He inquired about things in our family that could use prayer.  The subject of Hannah’s driver’s permit came up, and Grandpa specifically prayed that God would put His hedge of protection around Hannah and our family as we navigate these times.  He recalled a verse from Job 1 indicating that God put a hedge of protection around Job and his family:

“Have you [God] not put a hedge around him [Job] and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.”  Job 1:10

The teenage years can be pretty challenging.  Kids in the age group are faced with pressures from peers like never before.  They are faced with a world full of media that points people away from God and toward themselves and stars who are undeserving of such adoration.

As parents, we play a huge role in creating a hedge for our children.  It can be such a tough thing to do – to create realistic and appropriate boundaries while fostering independence and responsible decision-making.  We want the best for our kids.  We want them to experience things that we never experienced, and we want them to have the things we never had.  In the pursuit of providing the best for our kids, we can overlook the ultimate purpose in our parenting – to point our kids towards God, His Son, and His Word.

8 Ways To Build A Hedge Of Protection Around Our Teenagers:

1. Keep God first in your own life.  We must lead by example.  If we expect our kids to follow God, we must seek Him first.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33
2. Place God’s Word at the foundation of your family.  There are tons of great parenting resources today, but the Bible has to be primary resource for everything in life.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deuteronomy 6:6-9
3. Pray like you mean it – like it depends on God.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16
4. Learn that ‘no’ doesn’t have to be a negative word.  Parents these days are bent on becoming their kid’s best friend.  We are scared that saying no to our kids will somehow damage them.  Saying no is part of creating a hedge.
5. Lean into the tough conversations.  I learned this week that the best conversations can sometimes be the toughest conversations.  Talking about tough things provides an opportunity to help your teenager process and establish their world view.  These conversations help our kids navigate and discover the truth.
6. Find the strategic opportunities to demonstrate trust.  At some point, our kids will be on their own.  We will release our kids like an arrow leaving a bow-string.  If we aim them towards the Target, we need to trust that the arrow will fly straight.  Spreading their wings doesn’t have to be an all at once thing.  It works best as baby steps.
7. Be a constant student of parenting.  Find parents who have gone on before you.  Learn from their experiences.  Seek out resources that will teach you how to be a parent who honors God.
8. Balance truth and grace.  Our kids will make plenty of mistakes (just like we did).  We must teach them truth, and show them grace.  We must show them love.  Love speaks truth, and love shows grace.

Are you a parent?  How do you protect your kids?  What did your parents do to point you towards God, His Son, and His Word?

Hit The Brakes – Pay Attention To The Here And Now

The other night, Leanne and I were in Philadelphia for dinner and a play.  As subscribers to a local theater in which we see five shows a year, we’ve grown accustomed to driving into the city and parking in the same parking garage which is convenient to the theater and many area restaurants.  The traffic in the city was busy as usual.  As we approached the parking garage, I turned my left-turn signal on and prepared to enter the garage.  Just as it appeared that the path was clear, Leanne yelled “Stop!” as a white car sped through the intersection of the cross street next to the garage.

Thankfully, I was able to step on the brakes before our cars collided.  I’m sure the white car was going too fast, but I quickly realized that I had failed to see a red light in my direction as I was looking past it to the garage entrance.

This near calamity got me thinking (of course).

Obviously, I was very thankful for God’s hedge of protection on us which kept us safe.

Secondly, it’s important for us to be aware of our surroundings.  We can easily be caught up in looking down the road towards our ultimate goal or vision.  It’s important to have vision for the future, but we must also be aware of our present circumstances.  There are things happening all around us that deserve and need our attention.  Maybe it’s a red light telling us to stop for a minute.  But maybe it’s another signal that could impact the achievement of our goal.  Perhaps, you need to have a conversation with a fellow employee in the hall or in the lunch room today.  You could easily let the conversation opportunity pass as you head to your next meeting, or you could take a few minutes to find out how your co-worker is really doing.

I often get tunnel vision.  Thankfully, I’m a fairly safe driver.  But I tend to lock in on my target and miss out on the world happening all around me.

The near collision on Saturday night was a timely reminder to broaden my perspective and to pay attention to the details happening all around me on the way.

Do you struggle with tunnel vision?  What is one thing you can do today to be more aware of the things and the people around you?

Ice Breaker – Questions For Me

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

I asked a similar Ice Breaker question quite a while ago, and I thought it was a good time to bring out this question as I suspect there will be many new answers this time around.

Who?  What?  When?  How?  Why?

Question:  What question(s) do you have for me?  What do you want to know about me?  This is your chance to ask me anything!

I’ll answer some of them in the comments and in a follow-up post next week.  I look forward to reading your questions.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!  (As always, feel free to share links.)