Moving Forward Starts With The First Step

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

We’ve spent the last few days talking about the American Dream.  This wasn’t supposed to be the focus.  My real intent was to challenge (or stretch) readers to start thinking beyond themselves and the comforts of their everyday lives.  My hope is that I might challenge readers to become curious and even eager about developing a mission mindset.

We can accept the status quo, or we can do something about it.  In other words, we can keep going in the same old direction, or we can seek to cultivate a mission mindset.

It’s a scary proposition.  As we discussed earlier, it’s not easy to break free from the patterns in our lives.  And it’s natural to fear the unknown of what lies ahead when we consider acting on a desire for a missions.

Let me encourage you.  Faith is not about knowing all the details about the steps in front of us.  It’s about trusting God in the next step.  We often want to know the whole path in front of us before we are willing to move.  We over think, and we soon develop a paralysis of analysis.  We allow our fear of the unknown to hold us captive in the confines of the “comfortable.”  And we ultimately fail to act on the faith we profess.

Faith is nothing without action. I can believe until I’m blue in the face, but it’s nothing if I don’t follow through on it.  James says it well:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  James 2:14-17

In the coming days, I hope to share more of my own journey of faith.  In addition, I will help you identify a way you can take a practical step forward in developing a mission mindset right where you are.

Tell me about a time when you took a step of faith not seeing clearly the final outcome.  Why do you think it’s important to take steps of faith?  What step of faith do you need to take in order to move forward?

Redefining The American Dream

With all this talk about the American Dream being misguided, it might be easy for you to think I’m being anti-American.  This isn’t the case.  In fact, I’m proud to be an American.  I’m thankful to live in a country where we experience so much freedom and prosperity.  I’m glad I have the right and privilege to vote.  While I don’t always agree with our country’s leaders (past and present), I respect them, and I’m thankful for the thought that went into setting up a government designed to have accountability.

The conversation in the comments the past two days has been challenging and mostly rich.  It has been healthy to dialogue about the American Dream and about our call as Christ followers to pursue a life that may run contrary to the modern-day definition of the American Dream.  One of the comments in particular sums up my feelings related to this, and I think it is worth sharing here:

When Pursuing The American Dream Isn’t Enough

If you‘re going through hell, keep going.

Winston Churchill

This is a quote I have hanging in my office.  It’s a reminder of a dark place in my life, and it stands as encouragement to keep going even when life gets tough.

Let me explain…

Four years ago, an event transpired in the life of my family.  This was a time when the foundations of my life, my faith, my family, and my marriage were shaken.  My wife experienced an illness that left her in the hospital for a couple of weeks with a long and challenging recovery.  The event – the illness – was kind of like a bad dream – even a nightmare.  For a long time, it felt like I was stuck in this dream.  I faced a range of emotions.  I was scared.  I was shocked.  I was down and depressed.  I was numb.  And I was stuck.

As my wife began to heal and I began to emerge from the nightmare, I entered a fog of simple existence.  I certainly wasn’t thriving.  There were days when I was just surviving.  My dreams and goals for my life moved to the far back burner on my stove of life.  On the front burner, my hopes and dreams were replaced by a dull and foggy outlook on life.  My new goal was to keep things even – to just be comfortable.

My wife’s health returned, but my fog of simple existence lifted only to leave an empty heart.  I chased after things that I thought would continue to keep things comfortable in our house.  I certainly didn’t want to repeat the past experience, and I became focused on making sure my wife’s illness didn’t return.  In the midst of this pursuit of stability, I lost something.  I lost my love for life and my love for others I once had.  I continued to work hard at my job in an effort to provide financial stability, and I began to chase after things the world told me to chase.  I was after the American Dream with all the comfort and ease it promised.

I’m an engineer/operations manager for a large building automation company in the Philadelphia area.  I make a decent living.  My kids have all they want and more.  We live in a nice house.  We drive two cars.  I’d say we live a pretty comfortable life.

Even with all this, there were major areas of my life that felt hollow.

I don’t think I’m alone in this experience of emptiness.  After talking to many people and watching how people go about their lives, I am convinced there are multitudes of people who are swimming through an ocean of quiet desperation.  They, like me, seek after comfort and ease only to discover a life without meaning.

At some point in my journey, I realized that there was a yearning for more.  The money, the career advancements, and the toys and “fun activities” just didn’t satisfy.  There was more to life than comfort.

In my pursuit of comfort, I became uncomfortable.

This sounds terrible, but I think it’s the best place to be.  When we become uncomfortable with our pursuit of comfort, we are on the brink of something truly worth while – something far better than achieving the American Dream.  When I reached this point in my journey great things began to happen.  I began to see hope.  I began to dream again.  And I began to develop a mission mindset.

Developing a mission mindset is critical to moving forward.  As we continue down this path, I’ll share some important information to help you move from complacent and comfortable to a much healthier place.  You’ll be stretched, but it will be worth it!

How have challenging times in your life stretched you?

Have you ever grown uncomfortable with the comfortable?

What steps have you taken to go from complacent and comfortable to a better place?

In Response To The American Dream

This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure. Winston Churchill

What is the American Dream?

According to Wikipedia,

The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility achieved through hard work. In the definition of the American Dream by James Truslow Adams in 1931, “life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement” regardless of social class or circumstances of birth.

In suburban America where I live, the American Dream is all about having a bigger house, fancier cars, a larger retirement nest egg, a vacation home at the shore, a well-paying corporate job, and a top-notch school district.

I’m not saying these are bad things to have, but what if our focus is misguided?

While it doesn’t say it in the definition given by Wikipedia, it seems to imply that the American Dream is about ease and comfort.

I like ease.  I like it when things go together easily.  I like it when our family is healthy.  I like it when there is peace and harmony.  And I like comfort.  I like my comfortable king-sized bed and my leather recliner.  I like my warm house in the winter and my cool house in the summer.  I like knowing I can go to my refrigerator at any time and get a cold glass of milk whenever I want.  These are some of the things that give me comfort.

What if ease and comfort is the wrong target?

I was playing Frisbee golf with a few of my co-workers at lunch the other day.  This is a great way for me to connect with some of the younger guys in my office.  It also gives me the opportunity to step away from my desk for a few minutes in the middle of the day.  These guys set up a twelve-hole course behind our office.  Light poles, trees, fire hydrants, and signs are used as the goals.  At the start of each hole, you aim towards the desired target as you release the Frisbee.  On one of the first days I was playing with my co-workers, I didn’t get the directions right.  When I released the Frisbee it flew straight and far, and it even hit the light pole.  The problem is that it was the wrong light pole.  If I had been listening a little better, I would have known to go for the correct light pole.  I would have aimed at the right target.

In the game of Frisbee golf, it’s not that big of a deal if we aren’t aiming at the right target.  Frisbee golf is just a game, and there is always time to recover before the next hole.  Aiming for the wrong target is a big deal when it comes to life.

In life, we have many things that distract us or wrongly direct us when it comes to keeping our eyes on the right target.  We chase after fame and fortune instead of the things that really matter.

Jesus tells his followers in Matthew 22:36-40, to love your God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself.  This should be our target.  When we put God first and look after our neighbors, we are putting our sights on the correct target.

If you live in America like me, you are most likely in the top one or two percent of the world as far as wealth and possessions.  I know we like to pick on the billionaires in the world for their life of luxury and their failure to contribute their “fair share” to help those less fortunate.  To 98% of the world, you and I are just like those billionaires.  We live a life of luxury, and we fail to contribute our “fair share” to help those less fortunate.  As Americans, we rarely see the lack of comfort or the life of pain that most people in the world experience – we are spoiled.

We don’t get it.  We are complacent to chase after the misguided targets we’ve set.

He who wins with the most toys doesn’t win; he dies.

Noted Eastern University sociologist, Tony Campolo, conducted a survey of fifty people over the age of 95.  Each of the survey participants was asked this question:  “If you had to do life over again, what would you do differently?”  Overwhelmingly, the results showed that people would risk more, reflect more, and do more to leave a legacy after they were gone.  They didn’t mention comfort or ease in their responses.

If we don’t make changes now, we will be answering this question in the exact same way when we reach the end of our lives.  I don’t know about you, but I want to answer the question differently.  As Winston Churchill said, it’s time to dare and endure.  Stop chasing after ease and comfort.

Now is the time to make a change.

Now is the time to redirect your focus to the right target.

Now is the time to establish a mission mindset – to put God first and to love others with everything we’ve got.

What are you chasing?  How does your pursuit of the American Dream cloud your vision for a life best lived?  Are you aiming at the right target?

Strike The Pose

College football Saturday! Think I would make it as a Heisman candidate?

Who are you cheering for today? (I’m cheering for Penn State)?

Published via Pressgram

Ice Breaker – Back To School

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Last night was Back to School Night at the high school where my kids go to school.  We had a great time following their class schedule and meeting their teachers.  Today’s Ice Breaker question is inspired by our evening.

Question:  If you could go back to school, what class or degree would you pursue or retake and why?

My Answer:  If I was going back to high school, I would try to fit a wood shop class into my schedule.  I never took this class when I was in high school, but I think it would be so useful now.

If I was going back to college to pursue another degree, I would consider something in one of the three areas:

• Communications – To help me become a better communicator.
• Web Design/Programming – To improve my skill in designing things on the web.
• Missions – To expand my thinking and effectiveness in ministering to others at home and overseas.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!

9 Essentials For Those Who Want To Start Running Long Distance

Last night, my brother tagged me in a Facebook post.  Here’s what he had to say:

Ok so I gotta improve my running in general, but especially before Tough Mudder next month. To this point running has been little more than an afterthought to my workout regimen.

Distance runners (looking at you Jon Stolpe): Any suggestions for making improvements in distance running? I’m mostly looking for endurance/stamina and general motivation rather than pace. Any ideas welcome – workout ideas, exercises, mental exercises…

Have never been a strong runner and not expecting miracles, but I want to be able to say I did my best.

Get In The Game

On the night we arrived in Santo Domingo Xenacoj in Guatemala this summer, our family took a walk to the Central Park in the middle of the village.  There was a basketball game going on when we arrived.  We watched for a few minutes before our daughter was swept up by some young girls into a game of duck, duck, goose (in Spanish – of course).

Isaac started talking to a few of the boys who were hanging out in the park.  Within minutes, he was invited to jump into a game of soccer with boys who were about his age and two-thirds his size.  As I looked on, I was amazed at our kids ability to adapt and to join right in with whatever was happening.  Isaac’s Spanish isn’t all that advanced, but that didn’t stop him from communicating with the other boys.  He didn’t seem to be afraid.  In fact, he seemed to relish the opportunity to get into the game.

He could have sat on the side of the park (with me) and spectated as the boys kicked the ball back and forth.

Spectating is nothing like being right on the field in the game.  It’s so much better to be a part of the game.

Unfortunately, many of us are content to spectate.  We are invited onto the field, but we sit in the stands clapping our hands, cheering loudly, and waving our terrible towels.

Life isn’t meant to be a spectator sport.

Life is meant to be played on the field.

Maybe you’ve been sitting on the sidelines for too long.

It’s time for you to get in the game!

What’s holding you back?  In what area of your life do you need to move from spectator to active participant?

(Note:  My church kicked off a 4-week series this past Sunday called Not A Fan based on the book by Kyle Idleman.  I don’t know where the series is going, but I’m guessing the series will be used to get people to move from spectators to being part of the “game.”  If you live in the northwest suburbs of Philadelphia, come check out my church the next three weeks.  Click here for more information.  And if you live too far away, consider watching the weekly videos which will be featured on the website to see where this series goes.  The first week was pretty challenging (in a good way).)

9 Keys To Developing Consistent Blog Content

I’ve been at this blogging thing for over seven years now.  The first few years, I was fairly inconsistent, but now I publish at least five blog posts every week.

How do I find ideas to write about every day?

This is a question I get often from readers and fellow bloggers.  (And to be honest, this is a question I sometimes ask myself.)

Blogging takes effort, and coming up with content for my blog doesn’t happen by accident.

Today, I share my keys to consistently developing content for blogging.  After reading today’s post, I hope you’ll have some fresh ideas for developing your own blog content.  And even if you aren’t a blogger, I think these ideas may help you get a little more out of life.

9 Keys To Developing Consistent Blog Content

1. Conduct regular brainstorming sessions.  I grab a blank piece of paper from time to time and write down thoughts as they come to me.  If you’ve done any brainstorming before, you know there is one main rule for brainstorming:  There are no dumb ideas.  Brainstorming gives me the opportunity to write down ideas.  Some of these ideas turn into blog posts, and some ideas never get used on the blog.  Either way, brainstorming is a great way to start developing blog content.
2. Become a constant observer.  There are blog ideas happening all around you.  Observation is key to capturing those ideas as they happen around you.  If you read my blog yesterday, you will see how a 15 second interaction turned into one of my longer blog posts.  If you want to develop more consistent blog content, pay attention to what is going on in your life.
3. Take notes.  This is critical.  I have so many ideas that come and go.  Without writing them down, I easily will lose most of these thoughts.  Start a journal.  Keep track on Evernote.  Or find some other way to document your thoughts and ideas.
4. Ask others.  I’ve thrown it out there on my blog for my readers, and I sometimes ask people what they would like to read on my blog.  Some of the bloggers I follow have implemented an annual readers survey.  I’ve discovered that readers will often give me great ideas.  It’s okay to ask.  Don’t be shy.  (And if I ever ask you, please feel free to share your thoughts.)
5. Learn from your blog traffic trends.  I’m a numbers guy.  It’s just part of my nature.  For a long time, I kept very close tabs on my daily traffic.  This was somewhat excited on the good days, but it was also somewhat depressing on the slow days.  I’ve backed off on checking my numbers every day, but I do take time to assess each month to find out what worked well and what didn’t work well.  My month in review posts are as much for me as they are for my readers.
6. Consider sticking with a theme.  I’ve done this more than once on my blog over the years.  For example, I blogged about quality for an entire week.  My recent annual trips to Guatemala have given me plenty of writing material.  And generally, I write about life, leadership, family, faith, and personal growth (stretching).  Think about a theme or a couple of themes that resonate with you and write about it.
7. Welcome guest bloggers.  Guest bloggers provide a different perspective.  And they also fill gaps when you need a break for one reason or another.  Guest bloggers help to keep things rolling on your blog when things might otherwise be interrupted.  Note:  Guest bloggers are a great idea occasionally, but readers generally want to read what you have to say.  In other words, don’t overdo it with too many guest bloggers.
8. Pray.  God’s Word and God’s wisdom is the ultimate source for inspiration.  A little prayer can go along way to developing consistent content for your blog.
9. Live life to the fullest.  Life does not happen on your blog.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve met a lot of great people on-line.  I’m so thankful for these friendships.  But here’s the deal: There is life waiting for us outside the on-line world.  Real blog content is happening when we chose to live life to the fullest.

If you are a blogger, what has helped you find consistency?  What is one step you can take this week to develop more consistent content for your blog?

God-Given Appointments

A Hispanic woman and her three small children set out on a long journey to a city forty miles away.  They had one large suitcase with rollers which contained all their belongings.  They didn’t have a car or a cell phone.  They simply had their suitcase and their tiny legs.  She had just enough money to pay a taxi to get to them to the city.  She couldn’t call a taxi though without a cell phone, so they set out on their journey walking along an old railroad track that had been converted to a recreational path where bikers, runners, and walkers could be found in multitudes especially on beautiful, sunny days.  Secretly, the woman hoped she would find someone who could help.

Shortly after beginning the journey, she saw a woman on a bicycle approaching from the other direction.  As the bicyclist came closer, the Hispanic woman began waving her arms in an effort to get her to stop.  It was not hard to miss the waving arms and the three small children, but the woman on the bicycle stared straight ahead and even appeared to speed up as she passed the Hispanic woman and her three kids.

Not giving up, the family continued down the trail.  A third of a mile later, the woman noticed a runner coming towards them.  He was drenched in sweat, but he was going slow enough that woman felt more confident that she could get his attention.  She waved her arms, and the runner slowed to a stop.  He removed one of his earphones which was connected to the smart phone which he held in his hand.  In her broken English, the woman proceeded to ask the man for some help calling a taxi.  The man was clearly perturbed – “How dare this woman interrupt his workout?”  He made up some dumb excuse as to why he couldn’t help her.  Then he put his earphone in and ran off in the other direction.

The woman was starting to get a little concerned.  She still had a long way to go, and no one seemed interested or available to help her.  The small family walked slowly down the trail toward the city.  After walking a mile or so, they came to a small park.  This was a good place for the family to take a break.  The kids made their way to the small playground in the park while the woman found a nearby park bench where she sat down and began to pray.  She needed to find help soon or she would be forced to find cover in the woods along the trail for the night.

After a few minutes of prayer, she opened her eyes and looked up to check on her kids.  They were still busy playing on the playground.  Just past the playground, she noticed an older man resting next to his old ten speed bicycle.  The man looked a little disheveled with tattered clothes and a face that hadn’t been shaved for several days.  Tied to his bike were a sleeping bag and a black garbage back filled with who knows what. This was clearly not the person you’d expect to provide any assistance.

The Hispanic woman decided it was time to get moving again.  She rolled the suitcase over to the playground equipment, and she began gathering her children.  The old man stood up and walked toward the woman.  Unsure how to respond, the woman froze and looked away.  As the man drew closer, he removed his weathered hat, and he spoke softly, “Can I help you?”  Startled, the woman looked down.  Could this man really help?  Could she trust him?  Remembering her prayer just minutes ago, she explained her situation to the man.  The man smiled, and he told her he could help.  After a few more exchanges, the man asked the woman to stay in the park for fifteen more minutes.  He explained that he would be right back.  With few other options, the woman agreed and told the children to head back to the playground.  The man got on his bicycle and rode away.  Should the woman stay and trust this old man, or should she take her kids and walk on down the trail?  She wrestled through with this question as she waited for the man to return.  About fifteen minutes later, a yellow mini-van with the letters T – A – X – I prominently displayed on the sides and roof of the vehicle pulled into the park.  The old man stepped out of the driver’s side, and he invited the young family into the taxi as he opened the side doors.  He loaded the suitcase into the back, and they were on the way to the city.

This story has haunted me for a couple of months.  I was the runner in this story, and this happened to me early in July before I went to Guatemala.  I’m not sure what happened with this woman and her small children, but I trust they are okay.  I kick myself, because I could have done something to help this woman and her children.  I had a smart phone.  I could have looked up the number to a taxi service and called on her behalf.  I didn’t have any money on me at the time, but I could have run home, grabbed my wallet, and returned to give her money to help pay for the taxi service.  But I didn’t.  It was inconvenient at the time.  I was late for something that probably didn’t matter that much, and I was in the middle of a long workout.  I’m willing to travel to Guatemala to help those in need, but I miss out on opportunities like this right in my own area.  When will I learn that these types of interruptions may actually be God-given appointments?  The words of our mouth have to be more.  If they don’t turn into actions, we are simply blabbering.  I don’t want to be a “blabberer.”  I want my faith to be real.  I want it to be shown by my actions.  I want to have a mission mindset right where I live and work.  I can’t change the past, but I can look toward the future.  May God keep my eyes open for these opportunities, and may I keep my hands ready to serve others right where I am.

Which person do you identify with in the story?

Have you had any “God-given appointments” recently?  How did you respond?