Sending Your Child To College – Letting The Arrow Fly
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
One week from yesterday, we will be delivering Hannah, our oldest child, to Messiah College for the start of cross-country season and her freshman year.
Hannah will be spending this week working, finalizing her packing, and saying her goodbyes to her friends. Hopefully, she’ll have a few minutes for her family.
Hannah is ready to go. And as hard as it will be for Leanne and me, I think we will be ready as well.
Don’t get me wrong, we don’t want to rush things. We will miss Hannah dearly and we will look forward to seeing her whenever possible, but we would fail as parents if we didn’t launch her onto this next stage of her life.
As parents, we do our best to point our children at the right target. Like an archer holds an arrow on the bowstring keeping his sights on the target, we’ve kept Hannah on the bowstring of our family. We’ve done our best to point her to the right target – spiritually, financially, socially, and in other areas of life.
But an arrow is not meant to stay on the bowstring forever. An arrow is meant to fly towards the target and ultimately to hit the target, and this only happens when the archer releases the arrow from his grip. And our children aren’t meant to stay on our “bowstring.” They are meant to fly toward the target and to find their way. This week represents a major step in our parenting journey. Next Sunday, we will release Hannah to fly. We pray that she flies straight and free of obstacles, and we trust that our parenting efforts – our intentional efforts to point her to the right target – will pay off for Hannah and her future.
I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I was a little sad to be at this point in our parenting journey. But my sadness is overshadowed by my happiness, joy, and excitement for Hannah. I’m excited for what this means for our family in the coming years. Leanne and I will get to spend some more focused time with our son, Isaac, as he heads into a big year. I’m also looking forward to what this means in our marriage as we draw closer to the “empty nest” stage of our life.
Parenting takes us on all kinds of fun, interesting, and crazy adventures. It’s important to stop and enjoy the moments and milestones along the way. And it’s important to be intentional along the way. The time with our kids goes by far more quickly than anyone can describe. Make the most of the moments with your kids. Take time each day to show them your love. And do your best to point them at the right target.
If you want to connect with other fathers who want to be intentional in their parenting, their marriage, and their manhood, consider joining my new mastermind group just for men. The Stretch Man Mastermind is all about creating a community of men who want to hit the right target. If this sounds interesting to you, I’d love to talk. Fill out the simple form below, and I’ll get back to you. Spots are filling up quickly in my September – November group. Don’t miss out!
Introducing the Stretch Man Mastermind Group
You don’t climb mountains without a team, you don’t climb mountains without being fit, you don’t climb mountains without being prepared and you don’t climb mountains without balancing the risks and rewards. And you never climb a mountain on accident – it has to be intentional.
Mark Udall
Life is way too short to let it pass you by without a plan and without a support team.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life only to realize I had wasted my time here on earth.
I want to be intentional. And I want to know I gave it my all.
Being a man – and specifically being a father and a husband – can be pretty challenging. We have careers, family, friends, hobbies, and finances to balance.
I believe many men want to have deeper, more fulfilled lives, but they don’t know where to start. Guys wander around through life afraid to ask for directions, and they miss out on living their best life ever.
Over the past several months, I’ve had multiple guys approach me in search of a mentor or a guide. While I’m not a perfect parent or perfect spouse, they have seen something in my family and in me that makes them want to learn more.
These conversations are humbling, and I want to help.
Today, I’m excited to announce the launch of the Stretch Man Mastermind Group. (To learn more about the mastermind group concept, click here.)
What is the Stretch Man Mastermind Group?
The Stretch Man Mastermind Group is a group of men committed to meeting together for three months. The group will meet every other week in September, October, and November. The meetings will be held over video conferencing software, so an internet connection, a webcam, and a decent microphone will be important.
Meetings will last 60-90 minutes.
Most meetings will start with a 20 minutes teaching time where I will share on a topic designed to help guys stretch themselves. These topics will focus on helping us become better fathers, better husbands, and better men. Then we will have a rotating “hot seat”. Each meeting, we will focus on a challenge or question brought to the group by one of the mastermind members. The “hot seat” will rotate from meeting to meeting, so everyone has the opportunity to be on the “hot seat” and to focus on their challenge/question.
The first meeting will provide an opportunity for the group to get to know each other. And we’ll jump into our normal format for the second meeting.
In between the bi-weekly meetings, the group will correspond with each other in the group’s private Facebook group.
During this inaugural three months, I will also offer two one-on-one calls with each participant to tackle your additional questions and challenges.
This paid mastermind is designed to provide the support, community and accountability you need to intentionally STRETCH your parenting, marriage, and manhood to the next level.
Spots in the Stretch Man Mastermind Group are filling up fast, and I don’t want you to miss out.
If this excites you or you want to learn more, connect with me in the comments or by leaving your information below:
Celebrating Parenting Milestones
Parenting takes you down all kinds of roads.
Some of the roads are bumpy. Some of the roads are smooth.
Sometimes is feels like you are moving along the road like a turtle – slow and steady. Sometimes it feels like you are moving along on cruise control. And sometimes it feels like you are navigating hairpin turns at breakneck speeds.
For me, it feels like the pace of my parenting journey is moving along at the speed of sound (that’s really fast for those of you wondering).
Sometimes it’s healthy to stop and reflect on what is actually happening. That’s what this post is all about. It’s a chance for me to stop (although it may be a brief stop), to reflect, and to rejoice in what God is doing in the lives of my children.
Let’s start with my son.
Isaac just turned 16 last week. He is turning into a man right before my eyes. He is almost as tall as I am. In fact, I would suspect I will no longer be the tallest person in the family by the end of the summer.
Isaac successfully passed the Pennsylvania Permit Test, and he is now eligible to drive under the instruction of a licensed driver. I’ve been out with him twice so far. Our initial “outings” have been limited to a couple of empty parking lots, but we will quickly be graduating to roads with other cars. He’s doing a great job, and I’m excited for this step in his journey.
Isaac has been working outside of school to raise he level of his academics – specifically his reading. I have been amazed to see the level of effort he is putting into this pursuit, and I can see that it is paying off. Recently, he created a letter to send to a few music directors and teachers requesting some feedback to help him clarify his musical focus for the next few years. Before he sent out the first letter, he let Leanne and me read it. We were blown away by Isaac’s ability to clearly articulate his thoughts and questions into this letter. Isaac is growing up.
At the end of April, Isaac had his last piano recital with the teacher he has had since he started playing the piano at age four or five. His teacher is releasing him to pursue a higher level teacher. She has taken him as far as she can, and she wants him to keep stretching. Last week, he had his last lesson with her, and he will begin lessons with a new instructor this week. I think we were all a little sad to say goodbye to Mrs. Clemmens, but we were honored and humbled by her wisdom in sending him on to an instructor who can advance him further.
Finally, Isaac is diligently working on his Eagle Scout project. He is designing and building a disc golf course at our church. At first, this sound easy. If you think it’s easy, you would be wrong. He has to fully document his proposal. He has to get buy-in from several people in and out of scouts. He has to raise funds to pay for the materials required to build the course. And he has to coordinate manpower to actually build the course. He is making steady progress, and I’m excited to watch him complete this project. I know he his learning as a result of this experience.
My daughter is keeping it interesting for Leanne and me.
Hannah is on track to graduate from high school in June. Last week, she completed her last official day of classroom time, and she moves into a three-week period of career study. She will be working alongside a Spanish teacher at one of the area elementary schools. I’m sure this will give her fantastic opportunities to see what it might be like to be a Spanish teacher.
Hannah had her last high school track meet this weekend. She finished 8th in the 3200m and 3rd in the 4 x 800m relay at the conference championship meet. Her team just missed winning the conference championship by a few points. Running has brought Hannah a lot of opportunity to build her confidence, her running ability, and her leadership. In addition, she has met some fantastic friends as a result her high school running career. She is looking forward to running at the collegiate level.
Hannah finished up the academic side of her high school career by taking six AP (Advanced Placement) tests in a week. Leanne and I are amazed by the intelligence and drive that comes out of our oldest child. She is ready for college. She’ll be attending Messiah College in the fall where she’ll be a Spanish Education major enrolled in the school’s Honors College.
Hannah’s moving into a period of time in which we celebrate the past and look ahead to the future. She has received a few scholarships already, and we’re looking forward to celebrating the end of her high school career at several picnics and parties over the next few weeks. It’s just hard to believe I have a child old enough to graduate from high school. It seems like yesterday, Leanne and I were bringing Hannah home from the hospital for the first time. We are proud of who she has become.
If you’re a parent of young children, don’t blink. Don’t wish time would move faster. Don’t rush through life to get to the next stage. Life moves along fast enough by itself. Learn to schedule margin into the busyness of life. Learn to enjoy each moment. Learn to celebrate along the way. Learn to be content with the here and now. Tomorrow will come sooner than you think.