Category Archives for "legacy"

The Power To Change A Family Tree

Last night, Leanne and I were working on a talk that we will be giving at a MOPS meeting later this month at our church.  We’ve been asked to talk about discipline.  What a fun subject!

Actually, it’s not the easiest subject to talk about.  Everyone has different opinions and backgrounds when it comes to discipline.  Some of us grew up with parents who hardly disciplined us at all, and some of us faced the other extreme of discipline that may have bordered on abuse.  At any rate, it is an important topic, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to share some of the things that we’ve learned (and are learning) in our parenting journey.

As we were preparing for our talk, we were watching a couple of clips from the first season of Supernanny.  (Many of you may know that Leanne and I wrote a parenting curriculum several years ago based on this series which you can see by clicking here.)  At the end of the clip, the mother in the episode shares some thoughts that got me thinking.  She said something like this, “The changes that we are making today will have an impact on these three little boys, and they will forever change the world for their kids as well.  We are making a change that will impact generations.”

That’s a pretty powerful statement.  Something I do today could impact my kids, my grandchildren, and even my great-grandchildren.

I’ve heard this before.  Dave Ramsey always tells families who have made a decision to become debt free that they are “changing their family tree forever.”

Wouldn’t it be great to know that you were having that kind of impact?

Whether it’s taking positive steps in our finances or making changes in our parenting approach, we can clearly change the world when we decide to live with intention.

I think it’s easy to get hung up on our past failures.  We’ve all messed up!  It’s also easy to become overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy.  We need to shift our thinking.  Today is a brand new day.  We can start making changes starting today.  The past is the past.

Here’s the question.  What change can you make today that will have an impact on future generations?  What is holding you back from making that change?

My Dad’s Morning Routine

This morning, I woke up in another part of the country to green grass, fully leaved trees, and warmer temperatures.  As I walked to the back door to get a glimpse of the sunshine, I saw my dad lying down on the back porch.

He laid there wearing his “exercise” clothes doing his daily calisthenics and having his daily time for prayer and meditation.  My dad could give you all the details of his routine which has been part of his daily morning ritual for the past several years.  (Here’s a link to his blog where he shares the details of his prayer time.)  The general gist of it includes stretching, abdominal exercises, and push ups.  Then it moves to a time of prayer when he faces different directions and prayers for his family, his church, his community, and the world.  My dad uses the Psalms as he moves through his exercises.  He has a method for reciting all 150 Psalms.  He used to do this when he went swimming.  Now, he recites the Psalms as he warms up on his mini-trampoline.

As I watch him out there practicing his sermon for Sunday and going through the rest of the routine.  I’m inspired.  I’m amused.  I’m intrigued.

Many of you may know that I’m a guy who thrives on routine, patterns, discipline, and schedule.  I can see where it came from.  My dad is a man of discipline.  My grandparents were both very disciplined.  My guess is that there was some type of routine in their families before them.

Okay, now the routine has gone a bit far.  My dad is singing.  If you’ve ever sat next to my dad in church, you know this isn’t a good thing.  Actually, it’s pretty neat to hear…in the privacy of my parents’ backyard, my dad finds oneness with God.  I’m certain that his singing is sweet, sweet music to the Creator.

As we prepare to visit my parents’ church tonight for their Maundy Thursday service (we don’t have this at our home church), I’m looking forward to a day together.  What a great way to start the day!

What’s something quirky about your parents?  What quirkiness or trait do you have that you can see came from your parents?

Say What You Need To Say

Last week, I was in the Chicago area for implementation training and brainstorming for a new company initiative.  I haven’t been out to our home office for a few years and to be honest I wasn’t crazy about leaving my wife and kids for the better part of a week.

The time at the Chicago area office went very well, but the highlight of the trip was my visit with my Grandma Stolpe.  Grandma will turn 92 in early April.  Recently, her health hasn’t been great.  Many in my family wondered if she would make it past the Christmas holidays.

It had been a few years since we last visited in person, so it was real special when I walked through the doors of the nursing home where she lives and I saw her waiting for me to arrive.  We ate dinner together in their cafeteria, and we visited for a while back in her room.  Though it had been three and a half years since or last face-to-face visit, it seemed like we just saw each other last week.

My Aunt Elaine and Uncle Max stopped by for the last hour of our visit.  We talked more and shared details about our families.  We also talked about memories and family traditions.

A few times, Grandma mentioned that she was ready for heaven whenever God decided it was time.  She expressed hope that it wouldn’t be much longer.  It was clear that she was content with the life she had lived and hopeful for the future in heaven.

I will remember a few details about this visit:  Grandma’s Bible on her nightstand, her family tree of pictures on the wall above her bed, her thoughts on the economy and politics, and her joy in spending time with me (her oldest grandson).

I don’t know when or if I will see Grandma again on this side of eternity.  As we said our goodbyes (which took a while), I hugged Grandma, and I told her I loved her.  She reciprocated as only a small 91-year-old women could with a broken arm.  She said, “I love you too, Jon.  Thank you so much for the visit.”

As I walked to my car, I sniffled a bit.  I’m not sure I’ll have that chance again.  The visit was great – and the goodbye was perfect whether it was the last or not.

Driving back to my hotel that night, I heard the song “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer.  The song talks about saying what needs to be said – not regretting holding back – making sure things are right with our loved ones and that we express our love, appreciation, and respect for each other.

I said what I needed to say.

Is everything good between you and your family and friends or is there something you need to say?


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