Category Archives for "blog spotlight"

February 4, 2012 Week in Review

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This week, I’m going back to a written recap as opposed to the video “throw down” that went on last weekend.  (Thanks for the feedback, I don’t think video posting is dead for me, but I need to take it in steps.)

At any rate, it was a pretty good week here on The Stretched Blog.  Traffic was on par with other weeks (maybe a bit higher than average).  Comments seemed to be up from previous weeks.  I’m not sure if the topics covered in the posts were more engaging or if more people decided to add more feedback to the community.

Here’s a run-down on the posts from the week:

Here’s some of my favorites from around the blog world this week:

Don’t forget to subscribe to The Stretched Community on the right of the main screen.  Also, stop over and join Jon Stolpe Stretched on the Facebook Fan Page.  Thanks as always to the regular readers and to those who leave comments.  You make this Stretched community so great!

How was your week?  What was your favorite post on your blog and elsewhere this week?  Please share, so we can all enjoy!

 

January 29, 2012 Week In Review

Hello, Stretched Community!  I’m going to try something new with this week’s recap post.  Let me know what you think in the comments.

This week’s STRETCHED posts:

Blog spotlight links:

Call to action:

  • Subscribe to the blog (on the right side of the main page).
  • Connect with the Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook Fan Page (for great links to other blogs throughout the week).
  • Consider guest posting here.  Send my your Stretched ideas!
  • Consider advertising here on The Stretched Blog (see the links on the right side of the main page).

Finally… have a great week!

How was your week?  What was good, bad, or ugly on your blog this week?  What links to you have to share with the Stretched community this week?


 

Our Behavior Is Our Witness – Guest Post by Kevin Stone

Today, I’m privileged to present guest blogger, Kevin Stone.  Kevin is the executive pastor at the church I attend.  He comes to our church from corporate America where he held key leadership positions at a few larger companies.  If you follow the Myers-Briggs temperament tests, Kevin and I share the same ESTJ personality type.  Kevin blogs regularly about leadership and about the happenings at our church.  You can follow him on his blog and on Twitter.  I’d encourage you to stop by executivepastoronline.com and become a subscriber and a regular reader of his blog!

(I love to share STRETCH stories on The Stretched Blog.  If you’re interested in guest posting, drop me a comment!)

Our Behavior is Our Witness

I definitely remember one of the things that stretched me most as a new believer. It wasn’t changing stuff that I had done previously, like eating too much, drinking too much, using bad language, looking a little too long at a beautiful lady walking by, etc. It wasn’t beginning to spend time in my Bible or doing some type of daily devotional, in prayer and meditation. It certainly wasn’t regularly attending church and serving; I love going to church and I definitely love to serve!

So, what was it, you say? It was learning how to “be Jesus” in day-to-day situations, especially at work. How do I actually “love” people who I previously couldn’t stand? How do I behave in a way that honors God even though God centered behavior very often flies in the face of the workplace norm?

Before becoming an Executive Pastor I spent more than 20 years in corporate America. (You can read the About page of my blog if you’re interested in the details.) I remember one particular leadership position with a company with a working environment “norm” that included lots of behavior that would challenge any well intending Christ follower. It was perfectly OK and very normal to turn one’s head, watching an attractive woman walking by. Use of lots of choice language in conversations with others was normal. It was even normal in fairly high level meetings. It was more than acceptable for a group of executives to follow a business dinner with a trip to one of the city’s “Gentlemen’s Clubs.” It wasn’t even out of the ordinary to see a married coworker spending a little too much time with another woman, if you get my meaning, while on a business trip.

As a Christ follower, I had to find a way not to become a “weird Christian” while not violating any of my principles in terms of my behavior. I didn’t want to be weird or “preachy” to my coworkers, but I did want to be noticeably different opening doors for sharing my faith with others. So, I drew the line as it related to my own behavior. I didn’t criticize the behavior of others. I just made sure that my behavior was fitting for a person who believes in Jesus. When the heads were turning to check out a nice looking young woman, my head wasn’t one of them. It was difficult, but I kept thinking, “What would that lady think if she knew I was watching her walk away?” Or, “What would my wife say if she saw me looking?” When I spoke, I somehow found a way to express myself without using some of the choice expletives that my coworkers normally used. I kept a healthy distance from women while still doing my job. I only went to lunch with female coworkers if others were along with us. I avoided business trips with just me and a female coworker. And, I definitely always went home after business dinners while others were headed for the strip club.

Did this create a little “separation” between my boss, most of my coworkers, and me? Definitely yes! It never got in the way of promotions, bonuses, or other positive recognition, though. In fact, my boss had a lot of respect for me. I remember the first time we talked about my passion for Jesus and the church. He was, I think, impressed. In fact, now (years later) he regularly attends church with his wife! Pretty cool!

The bottom line is this: Jesus told us to evangelize the world. He didn’t tell us to separate ourselves from the rest of the world. In fact, he told us to go into the world. In order to do that, we must stay “normal.” What do normal people do? They listen to normal music. They have fun doing stuff that others enjoy doing. Of course they are also doing stuff that God would like to see them stop doing. And, they need us to introduce them to Jesus so he can change them. If we’re “freaky Christians” we’ll never get close enough to another to actually have an impact on them. They’ll think we’re weird and just stay away from us.

We need to learn that we can’t change the behavior of others. We can only control what we do, and we need to allow Jesus to change us which helps our “different” behavior to open doors and create opportunities to share our faith with others.

So what do you think?  How has your behavior been a witness to others?

Rediscovering Grace Through A Two By Four Moment – Guest Post By Chad Jones

Today, Chad Jones is the Stretched guest blogger.  Chad and I became friends relatively recently thanks to the wonders of the blog world.  Like me, Chad is a husband and a dad trying to figure out how to live life honoring God and his family.  His blog, Randomly Chad, is where he expresses the randomness of his life, but I think there’s actually a non-random point to what Chad writes.  Stop by his blog and check out his other writing.  Also, add Randomly Chad to your regular blog reading.

(If you have a STRETCHED story, I’d love to share it here.  Drop me a line if you’re interested in guest posting here.)

In many ways, I’m a great fan of the status quo. I’m happiest when things are copacetically homogenous. Or something like.

Yet over and against this is the old saw that “change is the only constant.” This is undoubtedly true. And for the Christian doubly so, because–as others have so eloquently said–“there’s no standing still in Christ.”

Yet, as a generally introverted person, a man of a certain age, with a wife, two children, and a demanding career, it’s nice when things stay the same for a season (or two, or three). However, over and against this attitude is a God who, through Jesus his son, loves me enough to not leave me as I am.

He’s frustratingly meddlesome at times, usually confronting most in those areas where I think things are just fine and dandy, thank-you very much.

This past year, he has challenged–has stretched–me the most in areas regarding:

My marriage

My humor

My blog

My parenting

My pride

Are you catching the common theme there: I, me, mine?

Yet, not a single one of those things could I have, or do, without God. Which is why, when things came to a head for me in late November–when I aired some dirty laundry on my blog–and my wife asked me step away for a time, I did. It was clear that God clearly wanted my attention; I just wish it hadn’t taken a “2×4 moment” to get it.

As much as I learned from that season, I’ve in no sense “arrived”–I’m still learning to be teachable. And learning that being teachable requires ever-increasing humility. (Which usually begins with those words the Fonz found so difficult to say: “I was wr… wro… I. Was. Wrong”). “For God abases the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

And grace is what I–you, we–need very much.

How is God changing you these days?  What “2×4 moment” have you experienced recently?

Stretching Beyond the Hurt – Guest Post by Diane Karchner

Today, I present guest blogger – Diane Karchner.  Diane is a good friend from the church I attend.  I had the honor of attending a Willow Creek Group Life Conference with Diane several years ago.  During this trip, I learned that Diane was a leader with a lot of wisdom and a lot of humor – two things I love!  Diane blogs at Tilted Words when she’s not busy serving others at work and at church and when she’s not spending time with her husband, Els.  Please stop by Diane’s blog and become a regular follower/reader.  Thanks, Diane, for sharing your stretching story!

(I’d love to hear your STRETCHING story.  Drop me a comment if you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger here.)

Stretching Beyond the Hurt

“If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.”

Saying on Needlepoint Cushion

That saying made me smile. I bet it made many smile. Because we can just picture the person patting the cushion on the sofa next to her, bidding you to come tell her tales of others. (I used ‘her’ but it could just as easily have been ‘him’!)

I was one of those people for many years. I was actually both – the one patting the cushion next to me – encouraging, imploring, hopeful with anticipation of getting some juicy tidbits – and the other one – willing to let go of confidences, of rumors, hopeful that the wisdom I was about to impart was worthy of being deemed juicy. It gave me power in some cruel, misguided, stupid way.  No matter which end of it I was on.

The gossip machine got turned on me one time. Lies told about me. I didn’t see that person who started them until months later. By that time the sting was gone. The damage repaired. So when I saw her I showed her grace; the kind God would approve. But when in the midst of the pain of it I wanted to retaliate in some way – get in her face, tell a lie about her to get back at her, tell everyone what she had done to me so they would hate her like I did right then. I really did.

Retaliation. An interesting flip side to gossip, don’t you think? Had I retaliated and lashed out, my heart would have been exactly where hers was when she started the rumors. Feeling powerful…a bit vicious…harboring a strong dislike, bordering on hatred…hurt…angry. All those motives fuel either in some way. At some level.

And to be honest, gosh, it sometimes feels pretty good. But feelings are deceiving.

In Philippians it says to think on things that are true, right, good and pure. Hmmmm. I am thinking that gossip and retaliation reflect none of that. In fact, the thoughts in our heads when we do either are pretty far from being true or right or good or pure.

We humans are a vicious bunch. So glad that God is God. So glad he became human for a few decades to show us that we can live without being so human, so vicious. That we can rise above it to feel the love of God, and be secure and rewarded each day by the grace he dumps all over and around us!

For me, right now. I try not to be a giver or receiver of gossip. I try really hard. But every day is a new one, isn’t it? And every day God renews his grace. And every day I need to renew my commitment to think on the things that bring me closer to God and away from some of my naturalness, my humanness. So glad that every day God will give me the strength and grace it takes to do just that!

How are you doing in the gossip and retaliation area?  What steps have you taken to avoid gossip and retaliation?

January 22, 2012 Week In Review

The week in review for was pushed back a day thanks to the wonders of our winter wonderland and the need to take care of some things at home.  It was a good week on The Stretched Blog.  On Wednesday, The New Stretched Blog experienced the highest traffic day so far!  I will be traveling this week, so I’m turning the blog over to some great guest bloggers for a few days.  Please read the excellent posts by Diane Karchner, Chad Jones, and Kevin Stone and join the conversation in the comments.

Here’s a recap for this week:

Your continued contribution to the blog through comments is greatly appreciated.  Your comments are what makes this Stretched Community!  Please remember to take the time to Subscribe to the NEW blog, so you can have Stretched delivered daily to your e-mail inbox.  Also, don’t forget to stop by the Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook fan page.  Become a fan to keep up with some additional Stretched stuff.  I am sharing more blog highlights from other blogs that I read regularly.  I think you’ll find some great stuff here.  Thanks!

Here are a few of my favorites from around the blog world this week:

How about you?  How was your week?  If you’re a blogger what happened over your way this week?  Did you read any great blog posts this week?  Share with the rest of us!

Managing Conflict – A Leadership Stretch … Guest Post by Frank Chiapperino

Today is a big deal for me!  I get to share Frank Chiapperino with my readers.  Frank is a great friend who has my deepest respect.  Frank has a huge heart for leadership and for connecting people to each other and to God.  For several years, I served on Frank’s small group ministry team at our church in Pennsylvania.  I’ve had the privilege of hitting a few conferences with Frank, catching several breakfasts and lunches with him, and sharing leadership/social media/blogging ideas.  Frank is probably the biggest reason that I started The Stretched Blog.  Frank is now pastoring a church in Minnesota, but we still keep in touch from time to time.  You can follow Frank on Twitter or at one of his two blogs – Frank Chiapperino and techpastor.net.  Check out these sites and become one of his regular readers.

(If you’re interested in sharing your STRETCHING story as a guest blogger here, drop me a comment so we can connect.)

Managing Conflict – A Leadership Stretch

I’m so delighted that Jon asked me to guest post on his blog.  I’ve known Jon for quite a few years and valued his friendship as I served and led ministries at the church he attends in the suburbs of Philadelphia.  Currently I serve a church in Rochester, Minnesota and my role has changed.  What is stretching me now is leadership and managing conflict as our church works through change.

It kind of reminds me the challenges I navigate with my boys as a parent.  My boys are getting older and beginning to play together more and more often.  You know what that means… they fight more often too.  One time my wife Shelli made us some great french toast and we enjoyed breakfast together at the table as a family.  Shortly after, Shelli went up to shower and the boys were playing with cars and toys on their train table. They were enjoying themselves and seemed to be fine so I began reading today’s paper.

All of a sudden I hear my oldest son scream, “No AJ, NOOooooooo.”  Anthony (AJ) looked like King Kong on a path of destruction in the little town Michael had created on the train table.  Michael gave him a big shove and my youngest boy brandished his teeth like a german shepherd on the attack, going at his arm for the bite in defense. Luckily, I stepped in just in time and separated the construction engineer from the wrecking ball before any injuries occurred.  What I did next was set some ground rules for the boys. I gave them each a side on the table to play on and they each took a few toys to play with and asked them each to stay on their side. The rest of our morning was quite peaceful.

Sometimes as leaders we need to be a guiding presence and help others navigate through conflict. There are times I will have a staff member or another volunteer leader at our church call me and say, “Frank, I need help. There are some members of my team that are at each other’s throats.” For some strange reason they don’t share my joy when I say, “THAT IS GREAT!” When I manage conflict I normally start where many Christian leaders do, following Matthew chapter 18:

15″If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

  • Go to them privately and confront them on the issue
  • If a private discussion doesn’t work take a witness. That means someone who has seen the behavior you are speaking to them about.
  • If that doesn’t work attempt to involve church leadership to aid in resolution of the problem.
  • If that fails, end the relationship.

That is pretty much what Matthew lays out, and it is sound advice that works. However, I do have a few other guiding principles I follow that aid in confrontation and conflict resolution:

  • Be wise with your words. Everything you say in a confrontation will either escalate or de-escalate a conflict. Try to use words and responses that we de-escalate the tension.
  • Don’t discuss nameless people. Sometimes people will say, “Someone told me…” If they refuse to use actual names of real people, don’t acknowledge it as a leader in the church. It only leads to pointless discussion because you can’t get the real person behind whatever it is involved.
  • If you’re wrong, admit it right away. This is powerful in conflict resolution. Think about it for a minute. How often do you hear people actually admit they are wrong? Not often, it is a real sign of maturity and it will have an immediate affect on the situation.
I find these guiding principles useful and I hope you do too. By the way… take a look at the picture below. Can you tell which side of the table belonged to Michael and which side was AJ’s?–

What would you add to Frank’s list above when it comes to resolving conflict?

January 14, 2012 Week In Review

This has been an exciting week for The Stretched Blog!  On Thursday, we moved over to our own domain (from the WordPress domain).  Traffic on the old and new sites remained high this week, and I’m looking forward to the week ahead where I’ll be reviewing The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, Frank Chiapperino will be visiting the blog on Wednesday, and The Stretched Blog will be visiting The Point on Thursday.

This week was truly a blessing as we made the transition to the new platform.  Monday’s post featured my first eBook review of Michael D. Perkin‘s Manifesto on Being Myself.  Tuesday, I shared some of my thoughts from Matthew 6.  On Wednesday, Brandon Gilliland stopped by to share his thoughts on discerning God’s will.  The new platform was introduced on Thursday.  And we ended the week with another fun ice breaker question about going back to the future.

Your continued contribution to the blog through comments is greatly appreciated.  Your comments are what makes this Stretched Community!  Please remember to take the time to Subscribe to the NEW blog, so you can have Stretched delivered daily to your e-mail inbox.  Also, don’t forget to stop by the Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook fan page.  Become a fan to keep up with some additional Stretched stuff.  I am sharing more blog highlights from other blogs that I read regularly.  I think you’ll find some great stuff here.  Thanks!

Here are a few of my favorites from around the blog world this week:

How about you?  How was your week?  If you’re a blogger what happened over your way this week?  Did you read any great blog posts this week?  Share with the rest of us!

Guest Post – How To Have God’s Will For Your Life

Today, I have the honor of presenting Brandon Gilliland.  Brandon is a young leader with lots of passion and incredible talent.  He’s training to become a surgeon.  In his spare time, he plays the guitar, and he blogs about leadership, following Christ, playing the guitar, and becoming a surgeon.  Brandon currently writes at two blogs.  You can check them out here and here.  Please jump over and become one of his regular readers.

(If you’re interested in becoming a Stretched guest blogger, let me know in the comments, and I’ll get back to you.  I’m always looking for people to share their Stretching stories.)

How To Have God’s Will For Your Life

A question that encompasses many Christian’s lives is “How do I follow God’s will for my life?” I have wondered this myself many times. As a student on track to become a surgeon, I have many doubts in my mind. I commonly question myself the methods that I am going through. A few short months ago, a really questioned if this track was God’s will for my life. I sometimes still question it, but I am starting to discover that becoming a surgeon is what God desires for me to do with my life. It is a lot of work, but if it is God’s will for my life, He will give me the strength and the necessary opportunities that will ultimately allow me to become a surgeon.

Like I said earlier, there were a few moments when I was not sure what God’s will for my life entailed (on the career side of things). As Christians, we should desire to stay in God’s will for our lives. If we are truly following Christ, we should have the desire to please and serve Him.

If we are always questioning if what we are doing is God’s will, then how can we serve Him to our absolute best ability? The answer is rather simple: focus on God. This is easy to say, but it is not easy to live out on a daily basis. There are a few things that I have to remind myself of all the time to be able to be assured that I am living God’s will for my life.

Pray

First off, prayer is important. If prayer is not an important part of your life, you can be certain that you are not in God’s will. If you are not on the same wavelength as God, you are not going to make the decisions that He wants you to make.

“Pray without ceasing…”

-1 Thessalonians 5:17

Keep the Main Goal in Mind

After prayer is an important part of your life, you need to keep the main goal in mind. Obviously, this goal can not be set properly without consulting God first. When you believe that God has revealed to you a certain goal after you have prayed about it, you can begin to focus on that goal. Go can desire something else, but you can have the right thought pattern. That leads us to the next point…

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”

-Colossians 3:2

Focus on the Small Things

Ultimately, it is essential to know God’s main goal, but it is not beneficial to focus entirely on it. If you focus too much on the main goal, you can begin to drift. Instead, it is important to focus on the small tasks that lead to the ultimate goal. This method insures that you can follow God’s will. If you are doing everything that God wants you to do at every moment, you can be 100% sure that you are in God’s will for your life.

That is the problem though. We do not always pray. We do not always focus on God. We are not always on God’s wavelength.

This is the reason why we can stray from God’s will. He desires so much more for us, but sometimes we give up on the blessings He has for us.

What do you need to follow God’s will on?

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