Thank You – #2

Thank You No. 2

Today, I’m thankful for teenagers.

I’m spending the weekend with high school students up at Spruce Lake Retreat Center in the Poconos.  I’m not sure how much sleep I’ll be getting this weekend, but I’m sure the experience will be worth it for the students and for me.  Pray for these kids at the weekend called Escape.  Pray they might encounter God in a new and deeper way this weekend.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.  I Timothy 4:12

Why are you thankful today?

Thank You – #1

Thank You Day No. 1

Today, I’m thankful for my job.

I’ve been working here for nearly 18 years.  I’ve grown here.  I’ve met many friends here.  I get to help people succeed.

What a blessing!

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Colossians 3:23-24

Why are you thankful today?

Ice Breaker – Favorite Candy Bar

It’s the day after Halloween.  Kids are waking up from their sugar coma, and parents are raiding their kids’ Halloween candy stash.  If you’re anything like me, you’ve already gone through your kids candy and grabbed some of your favorite candy.  It’s the price of parenting – what can I say?  With this in mind, today’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by candy.  Today’s question is sure to tap into your sweet tooth.

Question:  What is your favorite candy bar?  (Or other type of candy?)

My Answer:  My answer changed a bit over the past two years.  I had to give up chocolate for the most part as a result of my migraine headaches.  Before this, I would have said Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  There’s nothing quite like the combination of chocolate and peanut butter.  But now, Reese’s go to my wife and kids.  I don’t eat a lot of candy anymore, but I still get hungry for something sweet from time to time.  Finding a candy bar without chocolate is next to impossible.  I like taffy, but I don’t like the painful sensation on my teeth when the taffy gets stuck on my gums right above my teeth.

One of the non-chocolate candies I really enjoy is Goetze’s Caramel Creams.  I know it’s not a candy bar, but it’s the closest thing for me.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the weekly Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Happy Halloween! – What’s Behind Your Mask?

Happy Halloween!

Sorry if I just offended you.  I hope you’ll keep reading.  I grew up enjoying the fun of trick or treating in costume.  My parents sorted out my candy when I arrived home.  And I overindulged in candy for the next several weeks.  We carved pumpkins.  And we participated in the school Halloween parades.

Part of this left a scar on me – I was a flower and flower-pot in 4th or 5th grade.  I’ll never live this one down.

In 3rd grade, I was a Mexican – not a politically correct move these days.  One year, I was a box of corn flakes.  And I was a pretty scary ghost in 1st or 2nd grade.  (I’m sure my parents could dig up pictures of some of these costumes.)

My kids are excited to dress up for Halloween again this year.  We carved pumpkins (as you can see above).  And we’ll probably eat more candy than we should.

There’s something we all enjoy about dressing up in costume and wearing masks.  It doesn’t just happen on Halloween.  It happens every day – at work, at school, and even at home.

You don’t believe me?

Look in the mirror.

Can you see what I’m talking about?

At one point or another, we all pretend to be someone or something we aren’t.  As guys, we try to be ultra macho or super intelligent.  I think many women dress up in an effort to appear glamorous or easy.  Sure, I’m generalizing a bit.  But here’s the deal.  Most of us are hiding something.  We’re covering up the fact that we have issues.  We’re covering up some kind of perceived flaw.  We’re trying to present ourselves differently than we really are.  It’s like Halloween everyday!

Maybe it’s time to take off the mask – to leave the costume behind.

Maybe it’s time to practice transparency.

Maybe it’s time someone in your life knows the true condition of your heart.

I know it’s not easy.  I know it takes courage to expose yourself this way.  I know it’s even scary.

What will people think?  Will people still like me?  Will I still have friends?  Will I be accepted?

But give it a try.  I think you’ll find freedom.  I think you’ll find grace.  I think you’ll find a love unexpected.

God, investigate my life;
get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!

7 Ways To Help Your Marriage Today

A successful marriage does not happen by accident.  A marriage that works requires intention.  You have to be intentional in cultivating your relationship so it lasts and sustains the ups and downs of life.  Leanne and I don’t have a perfect marriage.  We have plenty of things to work on when it comes to improving our marriage.  But over the past 17+ years of our marriage, we have learned the benefits of being intentional, and we have discovered some tools which have helped to build up our marriage.

Today, I’d like to pass along some of the things we’ve learned so far.  And I’d like to encourage you to take action today with your marriage.  It will require intentional effort on your part, but it will be worth it.

7 Ways To Help Your Marriage Today

1. Pray together.  We aren’t perfect with this, but we do our best to pray together twice a day.  Before I leave the house for work, we pause to pray together.  At bedtime, we pray together.  This simple discipline pays huge dividends.  Praying together keeps us on the same page.  Praying together helps us support each other.  Praying together gets us through good days and tough days.  Start praying together today.
2. Make church a priority.  Church attendance doesn’t guarantee a perfect marriage, but I believe it’s a great place to start in giving your marriage a solid foundation.  A church family provides a place to grow and to serve with others.  A church can also provide encouragement or accountability when necessary.  This doesn’t happen by attending church on Christmas and Easter only.  Instead, church should be part of your regular weekly schedule.  Decide today to plug into a church together.
3. Practice a regular date night.  Leanne and I do our best to go on a date weekly.  This was definitely a challenge when our kids were younger as we juggled finances and childcare.  It’s easier for us now as our kids can be at home for a couple of hours by themselves.  A date can mean going out for dessert, playing tennis together, or taking a walk.  Making our weekly date night a priority shows our kids the importance of  marriage.  And it gives Leanne and I a fun opportunity to connect each week.  Dating should not stop when you say “I do.”  Dating is a discipline for your marriage as well.  Schedule a date with your spouse today.
4. Serve together.  Finding places to serve together has been helpful in uniting our marriage.  This happens through our H.O.P.E. group on a monthly basis.  And our trip to Guatemala was a great place to serve together.  Helping others together has been a great way to connect and encourage each other.  It’s also another great opportunity to be an example for our kids (and others).  Find a way and a place to serve together today.
5. Listen to marriage and family focused programs.  I listen to a lot of podcasts.  Two podcasts in my regular rotation are the FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey podcast and the Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast podcast.  It may sound hokey or old-fashioned, but these programs are a great encouragement.  Each of these daily podcasts provides suggestions to help your marriage and family.  Filling our minds with positive information about marriage is important.  You can’t find many positive messages about marriage on television, in the movies, or in society today.  Listening to marriage focused programs like these is a place to slice through the negativity.  Go on-line today and download one of these podcasts or find our when and where you can listen to these programs on the radio today.
6. Plan today to attend a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember conference.  The most popular post of all time on The Stretched Blog is Ten Reasons To Attend FamilyLife Weekend To Remember.  Leanne and I have been to a few of these conferences over the years.  I’m not going to sugar coat it.  These conferences can be a lot of work as you listen to speakers and spend time talking about your marriage.  But we’ve found these conferences to be so helpful in building up our marriage.  We’ve collected valuable tools for enhancing our marriage (books, activities, and other ideas).  FamilyLife has made it easier than ever to sign up for one of these Weekend to Remember getaways which are scheduled throughout the country.  Find a getaway near you by clicking here.  When you register, use the discount group code “Stretched01” to receive $120 off the regular price of the conference (per couple).  If you live in my area, the next getaway weekend if November 22-24 in King of Prussia.  Sign up today.
7. Find a mentor couple.  Early in our marriage, we were blessed to hang around with people like Paul and Dorothy Keisling and Jeff and Glyniss Murphy.  Couples like these took time to invest in our marriage.  They spent time with us, and they showed us what marriage looks like through their example.  I remember sitting in the Murphy’s family room during the first years of our marriage listening to Jeff and Glyniss teach about marriage.  This may require you to be a little uncomfortable asking another couple to mentor you, but it’s worth it.  To learn more about marriage mentors, I’d encourage you to check out a book by Jeff Murphy and Check Dettman – The Solution for Marriages: Mentoring a New Generation (affiliate link).

What suggestions do you have for being intentional with your marriage?  What is one thing you can do today for your marriage?

Making Corn Tortillas

On Saturday night, I made my very own corn tortillas.  This may not sound all that exciting to my friends and readers advanced in the culinary arts, but it was a big deal to me.  The tortillas I made cannot be purchased in most stores in the United States.  The corn tortillas you may purchase at a store in the U.S. is typically made by machines into perfectly round and very flat shells.

My tortillas are not quite as flat and definitely not perfectly round.  But they bring me to a place I will never forget.  Here are some pictures from my tortilla making experience along with some more details about what made these so special.

The tortillas started with MASECA – an corn flour made for tortillas and sold in stores that specialize in Latin American food.  I picked up the floor on Thursday when I was in Norristown, PA doing other business.  I was so excited when I discovered this little store which carried the flour necessary to make the tortillas.

While we were in Guatemala this summer, we ate a lot of handmade corn tortillas.  Our first full day in Xenacoj, we actually had the opportunity to make our own tortillas.  Try as we might, they never turned out as well as the ones made by the women of Xenacoj.

To make the tortillas, I combined 2 cups of corn flour, 1/4 teaspoon of salt, and just enough water to make the flour stick together.  I mixed the dough for a couple of minutes until the mixture was combined.

Then I divided the dough into sixteen fairly equal parts.  I’m an engineer, so you can imagine that I did my best to make sure these were as equally divided as possible.  I rolled each part into a ball.  The directions on the flour back indicated that I should use a tortilla press to flatten the tortillas.  This would never work in the small villages of Guatemala.  Whenever I saw the tortillas being made, it was always done by hand.  The women would get a little water on their hands, and they would flatten the dough into perfectly round discs by passing the dough back and forth between their hands.  It was amazing how perfectly they made these.  After several attempts of my own, I was lucky to come up with anything looking remotely similar to a full moon.  My tortillas were more irregular in shape.

Once I flattened out the dough ball, I put it on a hot skillet for a minute or two each side.  In Guatemala, the women cooked these on a flat sheet over a fire.  The skillet wasn’t quite the same, but it worked.  It was at this point of the process I really started missing Susie, Linda, and Susie’s girls who made most of our tortillas throughout the week we were in Guatemala.

After watching me struggle with the first couple of tortillas, my family jumped in and tried their hands at making tortillas.  We stood around the skillet talking about our experiences in Guatemala while we tortured the dough into some kind of submission.  As you can see by the picture above, our tortillas weren’t perfect.  It was okay though, we were remembering our experience and our Guatemala friends through this experience.

Finally, it was time to eat.  We had rice, black beans, sautéed onions, and handmade corn tortillas.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  Well almost.  It would have been much better if we were eating them in Guatemala with the Sgro family (the missionaries to Xenacoj), the Spooner family (the family from New York who joined us on the trip), the Espana family (the host family in Xenacoj), and you!

Since we came home from Guatemala in August, our family eats rice and beans at least once a week.  It’s a great way to remember our experiences.  It’s also a great opportunity to remember our friends in Xenacoj.  This is how much of the world eats every day and every meal.  We take this time to pray for those in Xenacoj, to pray for the Sgro family, the Spooner family, and the Espana family, and to pray for open hearts to serving those who need a little boost.  It may just seem like rice, beans, and tortillas to you, but to our family this meal means so much more.

What did you have for dinner last night?  What meals do you eat that remind you of something special?  Have you ever made a corn tortilla?

5 Ways To Reward Your Employees

Last week, I shared 10 Essentials for Enhancing the Performance Management Process.  There was lot of positive discussion surrounding the subject of how to improve the performance of your employees.  Today, I want to tackle the topic of reward.  Rewarding employees appropriately is a key aspect of improving employee performance.  It’s essential that employees are recognized for a job well done.  Sometimes this recognition is tied to a monetary reward, and sometimes it’s necessary to find non-monetary methods for rewarding your team.

Inappropriate rewards could easily work against the overall performance of the business and it’s employees.  Rewarding employees who don’t deserve could be argued as grace, but this kind of “reward” sends the wrong message to employees, and it sets teams up for mediocrity.

Appropriate rewards push individual performance to new levels, and they raise the bar on overall company performance.  Here are a few reward types for you to consider as you seek to improve your team and company.

5 Ways To Reward Your Employees

1. Thank You Note.  Matt McWilliams wrote about the Thank You Revolution in his eBook available for free when you sign up at his blog.  And I wrote a guest post for him titled, The Power of Gratitude.  Rewarding employees should start with gratitude.  A simple handwritten thank you note is all it takes many times tell employees that they’ve done well or done something that deserves recognition.  Last week, I wrote to many of my direct reports to thank them for their hard work in bringing our fiscal year to a successful completion.  These notes gave me an opportunity to specifically recall good things that my team members have done this year.  One of my team members took time to write me back this week:  “Thanks for the card.  It means a lot.”  His simple response affirms the power of a simple thank you note.  Don’t underestimate the power of a simple thank you note.
2. Department Meeting Shoutout.  Let’s face it.  It’s easy to get caught up in the regular business items in agenda of a standard office meeting.  Make it part of your meeting agenda to recognize employees who have gone above and beyond the call of duty since the last meeting.  Maybe an employee did something to wow a customer.  Maybe they were key to a sale or project success.  Honor them in front of their peers.  It shows them their efforts are appreciated.  It demonstrates to others in the office the type of actions and behavior worth following.
3. Small Financial Reward Program.  Our company set up a reward program which permits managers and fellow employees to recognize employees who have done something special.  The rewards start at $25 and go up from there.  A small reward of this nature is a great way to show family members how their loved one is appreciated.  These rewards are often used by employees to take their spouses out to dinner or to purchase something for the home they wouldn’t have purchased otherwise.  This may not be possible for your company, but it’s something worth considering if your company can swing it.  A small financial reward of this nature rewards employees, and it encourages employees to do things which will benefit the company.
4. Merit Based Increases.  This is the time of year I decide on pay increases for my team members.  I have a fixed amount to work with as dictated by my company.  In order to reward high performers, it’s crucial I provide the higher merit increases to the employees who have earned it through their performance over the past year.  There is a market fairness factor that plays into this decision.  I am doing a disservice to my team though if I don’t reward team members based on their performance.  If I decided to give everyone the same increase regarding their performance, I would not be sending a positive message that would improve the overall performance of the company.
5. Incentive.  Finding ways to provide incentives to employees can be a great way to promote desired behaviors and outcome.  At our office our sales members are paid based on commission.  They have a huge incentive to sell profitable projects.  Our project managers receive an incentive bonus at the end of the year.  The incentive is based on individual project slip along with a couple of other key performance indicators.  And our management encouraged to work together towards overall business success as part of the management incentive program.  Managing your payment program to make room for this kind of program can be a great way to enhance the overall performance of your team and your business.

I’m sure there are some other ways to reward employees.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on the above list and your ideas for rewarding employees.  Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments.

How do you reward your team members?  How does your company reward its employees?  Do you think rewards work?  Why or why not?

The Results – District 1 AAA Cross Country

Here’s a rare weekend post to give you the results of Hannah’s cross-country meet.

As I mentioned Friday, Hannah ran in the District 1 AAA Girls Varsity Cross Country Championships on Friday morning.  I took the day off of work to enjoy the day of racing and festivities.  And I can’t wait to return next year.

A few people of asked me how Hannah did in the race, so I thought I’d share the results along with some pictures.

District 1 is this biggest district in the state of Pennsylvania, and AAA is the grouping of the larger schools in the district.  The starting line is like a scene out of Braveheart as the runners race across a big open field to get onto the more narrow section of the course.  Hannah finished 149th out of 330 (and 5th on her team).  She beat her previous 5K PR (personal record) by over 30 seconds running a time of 20:34.  She was a little disappointed, because she wanted to break 20 minutes.  Otherwise, she was pretty happy with her performance.  As a dad, I couldn’t have been more proud.  She did a great job!

She has a great base to work from for indoor and outdoor track, and she should be running with the top girls on the team next year.  I, on the other hand, don’t know how much longer I can keep up with her.  While at Lehigh University (where the District Championship was held), I enjoyed a nice five-mile run over most of the college cross-country course.  The rest of the day was spent enjoying the other races and the team tailgate.

Hope you’re having a great weekend!

Ice Breaker – Athletic Claim To Fame

Today, Hannah is running at the district cross-country meet being held at Lehigh University.  Tuesday, I mentioned about her year of cross-country and her positive attitude.  Today’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by her accomplishments this season.

Question:  What is your athletic claim to fame?  What accomplishment from your athletic past brings you the most pride?

My Answer:  For a while, I would say dunking a basketball was my biggest athletic accomplishment.  My answer has changed over the past several years.  I’ve run 3 marathons in the past 10 years.  The first one in Philadelphia was tough, because I didn’t really know what to expect.  The last one in the Bronx was different taking place on a narrow trail in a park in the city on Thanksgiving Day.  My second marathon in Baltimore was my slowest marathon thanks to a strained IT Band and a hilly course, but it’s the one I’m most proud of completing.  Around 13 miles into the race, my IT Band acted up leaving me to struggle with walking and running the next 13 miles of the race.  There was a part of me that wanted to give up, but there was also part of me that wanted to finish what I started.  I kept telling myself to find a way to run across the finish line, so my kids could see me finishing strong despite the pain of my injury.  I saw my kids about 300 yards from the finish line.  They were holding signs and cheering for me as loud as they could.  As I crossed the finish line, I remember tearing up.  I was proud of my accomplishment, and I was emotional with the uncertainty that I would ever be able to do this again.  If you’ve ever run a marathon before, you know it takes a great deal of training time and effort to prepare for running this type of race.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the weekly Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Cheer Each Other On

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:24-25

My Guatemala story would be incomplete if I failed to talk about the importance of cheering each other on toward love and good deeds – especially when it comes to marriage.

My initial leap of faith decision to go to Guatemala would not have happened had it not been for my wife.  Let me explain.

Two years before my initial trip to Guatemala, my wife and I were planning to go to Nairobi, Kenya on a mission trip with a group from our church.  We saved and raised money to go on this trip.  We got our shots.  We purchased our airline tickets, and we made our final deposits for the trip.  As we finalized our preparations for the trip, something wasn’t quite right.  My wife’s health was beginning to deteriorate.  We visited her doctor, and we tried to make some adjustments.  But it wasn’t enough.  Four weeks before the trip, we made the difficult decision to cancel our plans.  It was one of the toughest decisions we have ever had to make.  We didn’t have travel insurance.  We couldn’t get our money back, and we were missing out on a “dream” mission trip to serve the poorest of the poor in the slums of Nairobi.  I remember feeling lonely and defeated.  Would we ever be able to go on an international mission trip again?  More importantly, would my wife’s health improve?

Without going into detail, things got worse before they got better.  Leanne ended up in the hospital in September just weeks after we would have come back from Kenya.  It was clear that being in Nairobi at this time would not have been a good idea for us.  Leanne’s recovery was slow but steady.  She was released from the hospital in early October, and she began the process of healing.

Throughout the healing process, we continued our desire to serve others.  We launched our H.O.P.E. group (Helping Other People Everywhere) serving the local community with other families.  This has filled much of our desire to serve others, but there was still an itch begging to be scratched.  We still desired to serve internationally.

Fast forward to last spring, our youth pastor asked if I would go on the high school summer mission trip to Guatemala as a chaperone.  I can’t tell you how much I struggled with this decision.  How could I “risk” leaving my wife and son home alone while I traveled to Guatemala with our daughter?  I prayed.  I sought godly council from friends and family.  And I wrestled through a lot of fear and doubt.  In the midst of this, my biggest cheerleader kept encouraging me to go.  Leanne said go over and over again.  She knew it would be hard, but she knew it was the right thing to do.  She kept cheering.  She kept spurring me on toward love and good deeds.

You know the story.  I ended up going to Guatemala in 2012, and the trip rocked my world.

Upon my arrival home, I had so many stories to share.  I indicated my desire to go back again.  And Leanne listened to my stories – a little jealous about my experiences and a lot more interested in going overseas for missions.  Our family talked and prayed about going somewhere together as a family in 2013.  We kept coming back to Guatemala.

This decision gave me an opportunity to be the cheerleader.  Leanne was a little concerned about the language barrier that went with being in a strange place.  As the week went along, I tried to encourage Leanne, and I prayed she would connect with the people of Xenacoj as we ministered together.  It was amazing to watch her fear and frustration transform into enthusiasm and excitement.  I will always remember our last day in Xenacoj.  Leanne was in tears – good tears.  She didn’t want to leave yet.  Xenacoj had captured her.

Our reentry back into life in the United States has gone relatively smoothly.  Yet we’ve been left with a huge desire in our heart for serving the people of Guatemala.  And so our story continues to evolve.  It’s our turn to cheer you on.  While we prepare for another trip to Guatemala at some point, we want to encourage you.  We want to spur you on toward love and good deeds.  Maybe it’s in your office.  Maybe it’s in your neighborhood.  Maybe it’s overseas.  Maybe with us in Guatemala.

How will you share love and good deeds with others today?

Who is your biggest cheerleader?  Who do you need to encourage today?

What are you being encouraged to pursue?