5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

As we wrap up the year, I’m taking some time to reflect on the top posts written this year.  Today’s post is great to review.  As the weather has turned colder again, I’ve been logging more mileage on the treadmill.  I hope today’s post will STRETCH you again.  (This post was originally posted in February 2013.)

When The Treadmill Stops Suddenly – 5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

I’ve been logging running mileage again, and it feels great.  Most of my miles these days are happening on the treadmill at the gym thanks to the cold weather and early morning darkness that blankets our area at this time of the year.

The other day, I was up early running a quick 4.5 miles at our local YMCA.  I had the treadmill ramped up to 7.8 miles per hour (which for me is a pretty decent pace).  While I’m on the treadmill, I listen to podcasts and glance up at the televisions to see the latest sports highlights and news updates.  About a mile into my run as I was lost in my own world, the treadmill suddenly stopped.

Imagine driving your car at 65 miles an hour and it suddenly stops completely.  Or imagine riding your bicycle at 15 miles an hour when someone jams a stick in your spokes.

This is how it felt when the treadmill stopped for me.  I somehow managed to catch myself before a complete catastrophe occurred.  The guy running next to me commented, “Wow!  Nice catch.”  I tried to get the treadmill back up and running, but it wouldn’t power up and restart.  I switched treadmills and continued my workout.

Sometimes life is like this.  We are coasting along when something happens in our lives that brings things to a screeching halt.  It’s happened in my life a few times – like the time I crashed my car two weeks before my wedding, like when my wife was rushed to the hospital shortly after our son was born, and like the moment I learned that my grandfather had passed away six years ago.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things through life events like these.

5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

1. Hang on.  Sometimes this is all we can do.  When we don’t understand, when we don’t know the plan, we can trust God and hang on to His hand.  I remember asking during these times, “Why?”  Even in the toughest moments, we must remember that He will never leave us.
   

   “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5

2. Trust God.  In times like this, I’ve gone back to Proverbs 3:5-6 as a promise that God will make my paths straight even when life doesn’t make sense.
   

   Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Lean into family and friends.  I can’t tell you how much family and friends have meant to our family when life’s train seems to have derailed.  It helps to know that someone is praying for me, is willing to talk or listen as I wrestle through the challenges of life, and is willing to be there when I can’t fully focus on my daily needs.  If you’re missing this in your own life, I’d encourage and challenge you to seek out this kind of friendship.  Our church small group experience has provided many of these types of friendships.
4. Consider a change.  Sometimes a life stopping experience can be the catalyst to positive change in our lives.  This week, I switched treadmills.  Maybe these experiences are a call to change direction.
   

   “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

5. Learn and grow.  Life halting experiences can be life altering experiences if we take time to learn and grow.  This is why I recommend a journal or even a blog as a way to record life’s happenings.  I have learned so much through the major speed bumps of life and the blog and my journal have become great places to record and process these experiences.

I returned to the gym this morning to run more on the treadmill.  I’m sure I was a bit more cautious, but I’m ready to keep going.  I’m thankful for the reminder that a simple treadmill experience can provide.  I have no idea what the rest of the day holds, but I look ahead with confidence knowing that it will be okay no matter what transpires.

What have you learned from a life stopping experience?  What other tips do you have for handling these kinds of times?

8 Ways To Protect Your Teenagers

Parenting is an important focus for my wife and me.  We want to raise our kids well.  We want to protect them, and we want to give them their independence as they get older.  Today, we look back at the third most popular post written in 2013.  If you are a parent or plan to be a parent, I think this post will STRETCH you.  Check it out, and let me know what you think….

8 Ways To Build A Hedge Of Protection Around Our Teenagers

We’re approaching a parenting milestone later this year.  Our daughter, Hannah, will be able to get her driver’s permit towards the end of the calendar year.  It’s a bit scary to imagine our little girl behind the wheel of a car.

Over the Easter weekend, I had a chance to talk with my Grandpa who lives in the Midwest.  Our conversation was filled with updates on our family and the activities that keep us running from one thing to the next.  At the end of our conversation as always, my Grandpa prayed for our family.  He inquired about things in our family that could use prayer.  The subject of Hannah’s driver’s permit came up, and Grandpa specifically prayed that God would put His hedge of protection around Hannah and our family as we navigate these times.  He recalled a verse from Job 1 indicating that God put a hedge of protection around Job and his family:

“Have you [God] not put a hedge around him [Job] and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land.”  Job 1:10

The teenage years can be pretty challenging.  Kids in the age group are faced with pressures from peers like never before.  They are faced with a world full of media that points people away from God and toward themselves and stars who are undeserving of such adoration.

As parents, we play a huge role in creating a hedge for our children.  It can be such a tough thing to do – to create realistic and appropriate boundaries while fostering independence and responsible decision-making.  We want the best for our kids.  We want them to experience things that we never experienced, and we want them to have the things we never had.  In the pursuit of providing the best for our kids, we can overlook the ultimate purpose in our parenting – to point our kids towards God, His Son, and His Word.

8 Ways To Protect Your Teenagers

1. Keep God first in your own life.  We must lead by example.  If we expect our kids to follow God, we must seek Him first.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33
2. Place God’s Word at the foundation of your family.  There are tons of great parenting resources today, but the Bible has to be primary resource for everything in life.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deuteronomy 6:6-9
3. Pray like you mean it – like it depends on God.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16
4. Learn that ‘no’ doesn’t have to be a negative word.  Parents these days are bent on becoming their kid’s best friend.  We are scared that saying no to our kids will somehow damage them.  Saying no is part of creating a hedge.
5. Lean into the tough conversations.  I learned this week that the best conversations can sometimes be the toughest conversations.  Talking about tough things provides an opportunity to help your teenager process and establish their world view.  These conversations help our kids navigate and discover the truth.
6. Find the strategic opportunities to demonstrate trust.  At some point, our kids will be on their own.  We will release our kids like an arrow leaving a bow-string.  If we aim them towards the Target, we need to trust that the arrow will fly straight.  Spreading their wings doesn’t have to be an all at once thing.  It works best as baby steps.
7. Be a constant student of parenting.  Find parents who have gone on before you.  Learn from their experiences.  Seek out resources that will teach you how to be a parent who honors God.
8. Balance truth and grace.  Our kids will make plenty of mistakes (just like we did).  We must teach them truth, and show them grace.  We must show them love.  Love speaks truth, and love shows grace.

Are you a parent?  How do you protect your kids?  What did your parents do to point you towards God, His Son, and His Word?

Ice Breaker – Questions For Me (Looking Back)

As we close out 2013, we’re remembering some of the top posts written in 2013.  Today, I’m sharing the top Stretched Ice Breaker from the past year (the sixth most popular post written this year).  It’s a great question to throw back at you as we get ready for 2014.  Just like last year, I will respond to your answers to this Ice Breaker.

Ice Breaker – Questions For Me

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

I asked a similar Ice Breaker question quite a while ago, and I thought it was a good time to bring out this question as I suspect there will be many new answers this time around.

Who?  What?  When?  How?  Why?

Question:  What question(s) do you have for me?  What do you want to know about me?  This is your chance to ask me anything!

I’ll answer some of them in the comments and in a follow-up post next week.  I look forward to reading your questions.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!  (As always, feel free to share links.)

Thank You Thursday

Guess what day it is!

Guess what day it is!

Do you know what day it is?

Anyone?

It’s not just Thursday.

It’s Thank You Thursday!

Take time today to write at least one hand-written thank you note to someone.

On Monday, I shared about one thing you can do in 2014 to stretch yourself – Go To Guatemala With Me In 2014!

Today, I want to challenge you to join the Thank You Revolution.  Start by signing up for the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge.  Click here to see how you can join the challenge.  It’s the perfect thing to add to your goal list for 2014!

Start today by writing at least one thank you note to someone who gave you a gift this Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas from The Stolpe Family!

Guatemala (Clothing) – A Look Back

Over the next two weeks, I’ll be highlighting four or five of the top posts written in 2013 on The Stretched Blog. If you’ve been hanging around for a while, you know Guatemala was a major focus this year.  (As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, our family is starting to work on plans for returning to Guatemala in 2014.)  Today’s post is the fourth most popular post written this year.  Of all the posts about Guatemala, this post received the most traffic.  Check it out to learn more about Guatemala.

Guatemala – Clothing

Over the next several weeks and months, I will intersperse facts and figures about Guatemala through the blog.  As I share this information, it’s my hope to further understand this country that has captured my heart.  Today, I’ll share about the clothing in Guatemala.  Last week, I shared some information about education (click here).

Photo by Adam Flora

From my experience last summer in Guatemala, the men dress fairly plainly.  I observed that most men wore button down shirts or T-shirts.  I don’t recall seeing a single man wearing shorts.  They were wearing blue jeans or khaki pants.  Many of the men wore some type of hat.  These hats were often fitted with a wide brim which I assume was used to protect them from the sun.

Photo by Adam Flora

The boys in the community where I served (Xenacoj) wore blue jeans, sneakers, T-shirts, and sweatshirts.  Many of the T-shirts and sweatshirts were decorated with American images and logos.  And I’m assuming the community thrived on clothing passed down from the United States.

The woman in the Guatemala dress more formally.  They wear a skirt and a colorful, hand-made blouse called a huipil.  Each town or region is known for its own color scheme.  The women in Xenacoj wore a reddish, purplish top with colored patterns.  These blouses are quite expensive compared to the average pay in Guatemala and often become the most prized and fanciest attire for the women in the villages of Guatemala.

The girls wear a mix of formal clothing like the older women, but they also wear T-shirts and skirts.  Again, I would assume that many of the shirts and skirts come through the United States and more advanced countries (although I would guess that many of these items are made in China).

For more great information on Guatemala clothing, I would encourage you to check out this website.  There are some great pictures and proper names for the clothing that we saw in Guatemala.

On a side note, one of the sad things I saw when we were in Guatemala this summer related to the clothing we wear here in the United States.  In the town of Xenacoj, workers were working ten to twelve hours a day for a few bucks a day making Hollister jeans.  I don’t own any of these jeans, but I’ve been told that they sell for approximately $80 per pair in malls and shopping centers in the United States.  As I think about this, a passage from Matthew comes to mind:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”Matthew 25:31-46

 

Obviously, you and I don’t need to go to Guatemala to clothe the needy, feed the poor, and looking after the homeless, the sick, and the prisoners.  There are people all around us who could use a helping hand.  While our family is looking forward to helping the poor in Guatemala, we are also challenged to look to those around us right where we live.  Hopefully, learning a little bit about Guatemala will give us all a deeper appreciation for what we have an a better understanding of those around us and around the world who are needy.

What’s your favorite piece of clothing?  What’s your most expensive piece of clothing?  Are you willing to give up your favorite or most expensive piece of clothing to help someone in need?

Go To Guatemala With Me In 2014!

This is a time when people are setting goals and planning vacations for the new year.  I’m looking forward to new goals and new beginnings in 2014.  I want to challenge you to consider a goal/vacation trip.  Why not go to Guatemala with our family in 2014?

Our family is starting to plan a return to Guatemala.

Here are the rough details:

End of July or Beginning of August 2014

Fly into and Guatemala City from your city

Serve in and around Xenacoj (this could be a mix of feeding children, visiting widows, construction, or other forms of serving).  I can’t tell you exactly what we’ll be doing yet, but I’m sure it will be life changing for you and for those in Guatemala.

Approximate cost is $1,300 to $1,500 per person.  This includes your airfare, expenses in Guatemala (food, transportation, shelter), and travel insurance.  You’ll need a passport (which could add to the cost if you don’t have a current passport).

If you’re interested in hearing more, leave a comment.  I’ll touch base with you with more information.

Here are two highlight videos to wet your appetite.  The first video highlights our family’s trip in 2013.  The second video highlights my first trip to Guatemala in 2012.

I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

After a morning of getting into stuff, it’s time for cuddle up with his best buddy, ISO, under the Christmas tree.

Published via Pressgram

Ice Breaker – Christmas Carols

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

Ice Breaker – Christmas Carols

By now, you are either sick of listening to the Christmas songs and carols on your local radio station, or you are just getting primed to go Christmas caroling with your friends and neighbors.  Either way, this is the time of year to listen to Christmas music.  We only have a few days left before the big day.  Before you know it, we’ll be thinking about the New Year and singing Groundhog Day songs.  This week’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by the songs we sing and hear this month.

Question:  What is your favorite Christmas song or carol?

My Answer:  I’ve shared this before.  My favorite Christmas carol is In A Bleak Midwinter.  There’s just something about this song I’ll always love.  Our local high school marching band used this song in their marching program this year.  I was a little surprised, and it brought a smile to my face whenever I listened to their program – even when they played before Halloween.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

ADVENTure Day 19

ADVENTure Day 19

Are you happy?  Tell your face.

Many of us (myself included) walk around with a scowl on our face.  We don’t laugh.  We rarely smile.  Yet when people ask us how we’re doing, we reply “Great!” or “Good!” or “Fine!”

Are we lying?  Or have we just forgotten how to express our happiness?

According the Webster’s dictionary, joy is a feeling of great happiness.

This season is supposed to be a happy, joyful season, but many of us don’t look very happy.

It’s time we wake up and remind ourselves to smile – to remember why we have reason to be joyful.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  Proverbs 15:13

ADVENTure Activity:  Look in the mirror.  Smile at yourself.  Now go and make someone else smile.

ADVENTure Question:  When was the last time you laughed so hard you nearly wet yourself?