That’s My Boy

This is a big year for Isaac.  In less than one week, he will start middle school.  He’ll tell you that he’s excited and a little bit nervous.  If you ask me, I’m excited and shocked at how quickly we have reached this milestone.  It seems like weeks ago that we were welcoming Isaac home from the hospital.  I can still hear his sister, Hannah, saying, “It’s Baby Isaac!” in her high-pitched toddler voice as we introduced her to her new baby brother.  It seems like several days ago that we were taking Isaac to preschool for the first time with his friends Julia and Grace.  I can still see Isaac dressed up like a farmer for Halloween one year with his big smile and straw hat.  It seems like yesterday that we were sending Isaac off to school on the bus for his first day of kindergarten.  I can still remember his excitement as he finally got to ride the bus with Hannah and all the other kids.

Isaac is a special kid.  He’s funny – in fact, I think he’s inherited the “Stolpe” sense of humor that came down from his Great Grandpa (Far-Far) Stolpe.  He’s smart – more so than I think he realizes at times.  He’s musically talented beyond his years.  He’s kind.  He’s compassionate.  And he has an amazing faith.

As I look ahead, I’m realizing that my time of influence is narrowing.  I want to make the most of the time I have with my kids before they head off into the real world which will be here before I know it.  Some of this involves being more intentional with our day-to-day conversations.  And it also means being more intentional when it comes to planning memorable things like vacations and other family outings.  And for me, it means stopping more often to just enjoy my kids.  I love to watch them.  I love to be with them.  And I am excited to see them growing up.  I just wish it didn’t happen so quickly!

How are your being intentional in your parenting?  What has surprised you the most about parenting?

Less Like Scars

“It’s been a hard year, but I’m climbing out of the rubble.

These lessons are hard, healing changes are subtle.”

– Sara Groves

Recently, I’ve had several people ask how things are going…how’s Leanne?  Almost a year ago, Leanne was hospitalized.  We’ve spent the past year recovering and rediscovering new normals, new priorities, and renewed appreciation and passion for each other, for friends and family, and for life.  God is good!

As I look back on my journal and my blog from the past year I see pain, loneliness, and despair, but I also see healing, connection, and hope.  Sara Groves song, Less Like Scars, speaks so clearly to my thoughts as I look back on this past year.

It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

And more like
Character

Today, I rejoice.  I praise God for significant milestones achieved in the healing process.  I’m thankful for a new compassion for families faced with the challenges of mental illness and other health problems.  And I smile as I realize the promise of a bright future with hope for tomorrow.  God is good!

(And by the way, Leanne is doing well – and so am I.  Thanks for asking.)

How are you?  How have you seen your scars transformed?

Stretch A Little, Give A Lot

Today, Michael Grasso is my guest blogger.  I met Mike at my men’s group (M.E.A.T. – Men Eating and Talking) last week, and we quickly discovered that we shared a passion for blogging.  Mike writes some great stuff, so please check him out at his blog.  Mike shares his stretching thoughts below.

America = Greedy, money-grubbing, materialistic, sinners.

Ok now that I have your attention let’s talk. There are over 250 verses in the Bible about money, some good some bad. What I want to encourage you to do is give a lot, even if it means you have to stretch a little. The first 10% goes to God. There is no question there, some will say God asks us for too much. Uh, hello didn’t you just pray for a plasma screen TV. Who is asking much of whom? We often need to take a step back and dwell on what we ask of God. We ask for healing, we ask for strength, we ask for love, we ask for forgiveness. To me 10% is a good deal for all that I am getting for it. Can you truly put a price on love or forgiveness? Think about it this way, everything you have is God’s, so that 10% was His to begin with. Do you truly think that if Jesus Christ was walking down the street today and found $20 on the ground that He would just put it in his pocket and be happy that lunch is on someone else? Jesus would use that $20 to bless someone.

I strongly encourage you to try this, take a bill that you feel you can truly give and not foreclose on your house. Set it aside in your wallet/purse and pray, tell God that you set this aside to bless someone, God will guide you. You may be out at lunch, grocery shopping, picking the kids up from ball practice, whatever it may be God will place someone in your path to bless. I know you probably think that I am crazy, asking who does this kind of stuff, Christians do. Christ followers need to be seen as givers. Again think about what Jesus gave us. Psalm 23:1 – “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Let’s not want, but want to give.

Blessing is like a viral infection, in a good way. When you take a moment to bless someone, they may take a moment to bless another and so on. This of course only works if you get the ball rolling. So keep that 10% going to God, but I ask you to stretch, and bless someone this week.

Are you willing to take the blessing challenge? If you do please share your blessing story.

(If you’re interested in sharing your stretch stories as a guest blogger, please leave me a comment.  I love to hear and share your stories.)

Heart Broken – Guest Post at Big B

Today, I have the privilege of presenting my first guest blog post over at Big B.  Big B is the blog for an incredible young man named Brandon who is passionate about music, leadership, and God.  I’ve connected with him on-line over the past couple of months, and I have been inspired by words.  Please check out my post and please support Brandon by adding his blog to your regular reading.

Here’s an excerpt from my post:

It can be easy to fall into the trap of tunnel vision.  We can all become so caught up in ourselves that we miss out on what’s happening to those around us.  In many cases, we don’t even see those we walk by on the street or sit next to on the train.  We live and operate in a world of me, me, me.

A recent family vacation to Canada took my family into Montreal for a day.  There’s nothing like a vacation and a trip into a city to jolt one out of their routine and snap one to attention to things that matter.  We had a wonderful time touring around Montreal.  We saw many of the famous tourist sites including the market at Jean-Talon, the view of the city from the top of Mont Royal, Old Montreal, and the port.  All these places were new and interesting, but I will always remember a brief encounter with a young man in a park near the home of the Montreal Canadians.  Here’s how I remembered the encounter in my journal…

(If you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger on my blog, please leave me a comment.  I’d love to connect with you.  Also, I would certainly welcome other opportunities to be a guest blogger on your blog, so you can leave me a comment on that as well.)

Googling God

As a little kid, I can remember having lots of questions about God, heaven, and life.  I asked questions like, “Who created God?” and “Where did God come from?”  I asked, “What was there before God created the heavens and the earth?”  As I was driving home from work yesterday, I was reminded of my child-like curiousity.  For some reason I questioned to myself, “What language will we speak in heaven?” and “How will we understand each other?  Will we have decoders built in to our heavenly bodies?”  I know these questions sound somewhat humorous, but it’s the jumping off point for many other questions that race around my head.

Last year at this time, I found my self asking God more questions as I stood by my wife as she battled the challenges of bipolar disorder.  At one point, I asked “Why?”  “Why would God allow us to go through this?”  “Why is there bipolar disorder?”  “Why doesn’t anyone talk about mental illness and the challenges that come to families as a result of these illnesses?”  These questions still race around my head.

I think we all have questions for God that range across a wide spectrum from humorous to curiosity to doubt.  Last night, I asked my men’s group what questions they have for God, and it was amusing and interesting to hear their responses.

How was God always there?

Where was God born?

Will I be able to fly in heaven?

If God is all knowing and all powerful, why would He need or desire our love?

Why do I ask why questions?

Will Jesus out trash-talk me?

Will I get full at the banquet table?

Are there bathrooms in heaven?

Do we eat in heaven?

Will all our questions be answered in heaven?

What it there to do in heaven?

Will I really be singing all day?

Do I have free will in heaven?

These were just a few of the questions that were brought up as we sat around the table.  I think it can be healthy to ask questions.  But there’s also a trust factor.  I know that God is in control.  I know that He knows what is best.  I know that I’m not God.  But I still have questions from time to time.

How about you?  What questions do you have for God?

Weeding Reminder

Last night, I did some weeding in the yard and in the garden while my son cut the grass.  It’s amazing how the weeds can spring up so quickly and so large when you don’t stay on top of them.  As I was weeding, I was reminded of my blog post from last year.  My weed problem this year is not as bad as last year, but I think my thoughts still apply.

Lessons From My Front Lawn – September 6, 2010

The past three or four years, I’ve paid a company to treat our lawn to prevent the weeds, to prevent fleas and ticks, and to help it stay green and healthy.  There’s no question that it paid off.  Up until the spring, my grass was coming in great and green.

That all changed this summer when we decided not to use the company to treat our lawn and we were faced with one of the hotter and drier summers that we’ve had in a while.  As the summer wore on, our front lawn went from a plush green carpet to a spotty brown and green, weed infested disaster thanks to the lack of treatment and the stresses of the summer heat.  Honestly, I want to throw up every time I pull up our driveway.  It just makes me sick to see what our lawn has become in just one summer.

Now, I realize that a green front lawn isn’t the answer to true happiness and contentment, but I think it speaks to something that is true for our own lives.  Just like water and fertilizer help to keep our lawns healthy, keeping our spiritual lawn green and healthy requires water, nutrition, and weed prevention.  We need to study God’s word (the Bible), and we need to spend time with God.  We also need to  live life in community – the kind of community that can be found by attending and getting involved at a local church along with the kind of community that can be found by getting involved in a small group.  These spiritual treatments are essential to keeping our spiritual lives healthy.

Getting back to my lawn, we finally called the lawn company that we used before, and they explained that our grass can be restored.  The weeds can be eradicated, and the effects of summer stress can be overcome.  It will take some time and special attention, but there is hope for my front lawn.

So, this brings me to my question.  How is your spiritual front lawn?  Is it healthy or does it need some work?  If your spiritual lawn is brown and weed infested, there is hope for restoration and renewal.

The Gift of Camping

This past weekend, we celebrated the 1oth anniversary of a great family camping tradition.  We’ve been camping with the same four families since the beginning.  It’s been amazing to watch our kids grow up together.  Isaac was two and potty training on our first rainy camping trip to Locust Lake State Park.  Now, Isaac’s eleven, and he’s becoming a wonderful young man.  The story is similar for all the other kids as well.  It’s truly been a gift to experience the richness of these friendships year after year.  I look forward to many, many more family camping trips to come.

Nine out of the ten years, we have camped in a Pennsylvania State Park.  Pennsylvania is the only state that has an established chaplaincy program in its state parks.  Most years, we have worshiped together at the camp’s Sunday worship service.  This year was no different as we walked down to the outdoor amphitheater following a delicious camp breakfast.  I love my church, but there is something refreshing about getting outdoors and stripping away the music and lights and air conditioning.

At the service, Chaplain Jason shared from the passage in Romans.  Jason’s message provided some great reminders:

 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 ³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Romans 12:1-8

1.  I have gifts.  I should be sharing these gifts.

2.  My gifts are different from other people’s gifts.  We all have different gifts.

3.  Everyone’s gifts are important to completing the work of the body.

4.  I’m not gifted in everything.  Saying no sometimes is okay.

I’m sure there were some other great points, but these are the ones that struck me.

What fun family traditions do you have?

How are you using the gifts that God has given you?

Leading Through Conflict

Conflict and confrontation are not my strong suit.  I much prefer when things go well and people get along even when mistakes and obstacles must be overcome.  Unfortunately, this is not the way it works.  People have different opinions.  People make mistakes.  People have different personalities.  And they don’t always get along.  Conflict seems to be inevitable.

As a leader and manager, I am faced with conflict on a regular basis.  I don’t have a choice to ignore it in hopes that the problems will just go away.  I often have to confront conflict to help bring about resolution and to hopefully be an agent for positive change.

The Bible gives some pointers for handling conflict between believers in Matthew 18:15-20 which may give some insight for handling conflict in the secular workplace.  Here are the pointers from Jesus:

1.  Try to resolve the conflict just between the two parties in conflict (v. 15).  Don’t bring anyone else into the conflict if it can be resolved first.

2.  Bring the conflict to one or two other believers (v. 16).  If the conflict cannot be resolved face-to-face in step 1, the Bible mandates trying to bring the conflict to a resolution through the help of a couple of believers.

3.  Take the conflict before the church (v. 17).  If all else fails, the Bible tells us to bring the conflict before the church.  If the conflict cannot be resolved then the person may be removed from the church.

In the secular business world, I’m not always dealing with fellow believers.  In reality, the construction industry can be full of some rather colorful and rough personalities.  Having said this, I believe these standards from scripture can be helpful for handling conflict in the workplace.  As leaders in the business world, here are some ideas for handling conflict:

1.  Encourage face-to-face conversations between the conflicting parties.  Often times, people are misunderstood.  A meeting of this type should provide an opportunity for both parties to get their frustrations on the table.  With reasonable individuals and situations, conflict can often be resolved here.

2.  Sometimes it’s necessary to get a mediator involved.  Here’s where I would suggest getting involved along with another manager.  If the two parties in conflict are let by different individuals, it would make sense to get the other manager involved.  The managers should facilitate a discussion in an effort to bring resolution.  This may take a couple of meetings, but it shouldn’t drag out.

3.  If all else fails HR (Human Resources) and higher level leadership may need to get involved to drive a resolution.  The may mean a change in assignment(s) for one or both parties.  Or it may represent a more drastic transition towards other employment opportunities inside or outside the company.

4.  In all cases, rumors should be avoided.  As leaders, managers should squash any rumors.  Rumors only lead to further conflict.

Handling conflict can be a real challenge, but leaders must deal with it head on.  I wish I could say I always get it right.  I’m certainly challenged and stretched by this topic.

What tips would you add for leaders to follow in handling workplace conflict?

Coming Back From Vacation

Getting back into the swing of things following nine days of vacation can be a real challenge.  I especially felt this Monday and Tuesday as I was playing catch up on e-mails, phone calls, and required meetings.  I feel like I have a lot to learn about how to transition from vacations and other breaks back into the routines of work and family activities.  There’s got to be a way to keep the refreshment alive.  There should be some ways to prevent post vacation burnout.

Some ideas come to mind:

1.  Schedule margins in your schedule to breath and to relax even if it’s just for 15 minutes.  This is challenging for me – especially at work where I am on call all the time for help in making decisions or for scheduling resources.  I have tried to make it a habit to step out of the office for a few minutes at lunch time.  This gives me a chance to get some fresh air, to touch base with my wife on her day, and to catch my breath before heading into the afternoon.

2.  Keep thoughts of vacation alive by talking about your vacation and sharing pictures.  I love to hear about the vacation adventures of my co-workers, and I like to share my stories as well.  I love what I do at my job most of the time, and I really appreciate when our personal interests and adventures intersect with work.

3.  Discard or put aside e-mails and other correspondence that are not important, are not urgent, and can be put off until later or not read at all.  I know this can be challenging as it requires a discerning filter, but it’s important.  In today’s information driven world, we have to relearn that it’s okay to miss out on some things.  We don’t need to know every piece of information out there.  What did we do before computers and the internet?

4.  Compose a “to-do-list” and use it to prioritize tasks that must be attended to with greater urgency.  A “to-do-list” can be helpful in documenting the things in our head.  It can minimize the feeling of stress that comes from not knowing where to start.

5.  Be intentional about continuing activities that provide refreshment and renewal.  Leanne and I have taken a few evening strolls through our small town since returning from vacation.  It may seem simple, but these walks have provided relaxation along with time together.

I wish I could say that we have it all figures out and that these five steps are easy to follow and an easy answer to overcoming post vacation burnout.  But I can’t say these things.  Life after vacation can be crazy – but I’m so glad we got away.

What tips do you have for transitioning from vacation back to everyday life?

Psalm 36 – Love and Faithfulness

{EAV_BLOG_VER:c9f606e4219c00dd}

This morning I woke up with these words on my mind from Psalm 36:

 ⁵ Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, 
   your faithfulness to the skies. 
⁶ Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, 
   your justice like the great deep. 
   You, LORD, preserve both people and animals. 
⁷ How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! 
   People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. 
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house; 
   you give them drink from your river of delights. 
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life; 
   in your light we see light.

How have you experienced God’s unfailing love and faithfulness this summer?