Jon Stolpe, Author at Jon Stolpe Stretched

Jon Stolpe

Author Archives: Jon Stolpe

The Birds and The Bees – Talking to Your Kids About Sex

I was blessed as a kid with parents who spoke clearly and appropriately about sex. The summer before I went into sixth grade, I remember my dad taking me camping to Lake Atsion. It was here that we spent time camping and cooking. And it was here that my dad gave me “the talk” about sex. I’m sure it was somewhat awkward for both of us, but this was clearly an important conversation.

From what I’ve heard, most kids don’t learn about the birds and the bees from this type of candid discussion from their parents. Most kids learn from their peers, from pornographic magazines and websites, and from experimentation.

Leanne and I decided early on in our parenting that we didn’t want our kids learn first about sex from others. Several years ago at a Family Life Marriage Conference, we picked up a four book series called “God’s Design for Sex.” Each book is written for a different age group to give parents the tools to talk to their kids about sex with age appropriate material. Leanne read through these books with Hannah already, and I’ve been reading the books with our son. As Isaac is in the first weeks of sixth grade, we are finishing up the third book in the series. There’s been a little awkwardness as we’ve talked about things like periods, AIDS, and about some of the “mechanics” of sex. (I’m an engineer, I couldn’t help it.) But our conversation has also been good.

I’m thankful for the example of my parents, for helpful tools like these books, and for the chance to teach our kids about a subject that matters.

How did you learn about sex? How have you handled this subject with your own kids?

“Have You Ever Thought About Writing A Book?”

I’ve had multiple people ask me recently if or when I was going to write a book. I guess I’m somewhat flattered. And if I’m completely honest, the idea has crossed my mind. After all, it would be an honor to follow in my dad’s footsteps as he as written some books to go along with his articles, studies, countless sermons, and other writing adventures. (I remember my dad typing away at his typewriter and old word processor in our basement as he diligently worked towards a publisher’s deadline.)

I’ve thought about what I would write about and several ideas have crossed my mind, but I haven’t settled on one thing that says, “That’s it!” yet. Here are some of my crazy ideas:

1. Stretched – This could kind of me a compilation of my blog posts along with other stretch stories. I’m not sure how it would all tie together, but it’s one thought.

2. Why? – This would be my side of the story related to dealing with mental illness in my family. Maybe this could be the story of discovering HOPE in the midst of HEARTACHE. This one scares me as it would force me to revisit areas of my life that consist of pain and fear and lots of emotional scar tissue.

3. Memoir – This would simply be stories of my journey. Would this idea really be all that appealing to anyone but my mom?

4. Something along my passion path – connection, community, leadership, integrity, grace…

When I think about writing a book, I have a lot of other questions. Like why should I consider writing a book? I write my blog for three main reasons: 1. To process out loud some of the stuff that’s going on in my head. My blog is for me. 2. To honor God. I want my writing to bring God glory. 3. To help other people. Whether it’s making people laugh or just giving some encouragement, I want to help people connect and move closer to God.

In writing a book, I would think that these reasons still apply.

Would people really read a book written by Jon Stolpe? Writing a book and trying to get a book published sounds like so much work. Am I really ready for that?

These are some of my thoughts. Maybe someday, you’ll order your copy of my book on Amazon. Until then, keep connecting here at Jon Stolpe Stretched. (Thanks!)

What do you think? Have you ever written a book? If you could write a book, what would it be about?

Full Moon Reflection

This morning, I hit the pavement at 5AM to get an easy 3 miles in to start my day. Normally, it would be almost pitch black at this time of the day, but not this morning. Today, I ran as if it was daylight thanks to the sun’s light reflecting off the full moon. You could actually see my shadow quite clearly as I ran away from the moon. And the picture above from my iPod doesn’t do the moon justice. It was like a bright white beach ball hanging in the sky.

I’ve always had a fascination with space, so as I saw the moon this morning. I couldn’t help but wonder how bright the moon’s reflection must appear in space. The interesting thing is that the moon only displays a fraction of the brightness that comes from the sun. Yet it is still beautiful and it can still show the way and it still gives hope for the new day sun.

This kind of makes me think about Moses after he had the chance to see part of God. Moses’ face glowed. In fact, they had to use a cover to hide the brilliance of his face.

As Christ followers, we are called to be like the moon. We are called to reflect the light of the Son. We have an opportunity in this broken world to reflect God’s light and spread the hope of Christ to an otherwise dark world. A great reminder thanks to a morning moonlit run.

So there you have it…some of my thoughts from my 3 miles this morning. By the way, the legs were a little stiff after Sunday’s run, but it was good to get back to running.

What do you think of when you see the moon?

Race to Remember Recap

Yesterday, I ran the first ever Perk Trail Half Marathon. Okay, it wasn’t an official race. It was my own crazy idea that I shared last week. The race gave me a goal to help me get into shape but it also gave me a way to remember the 10th anniversary of September 11th, 2001.

As I ran, I spent each of the 13 (actually 13.1) miles thinking and praying for a different group of people or things which were tied to 9/11. I wrote these things on my arm as a reminder. As I approached each mile, I would pray on a more general basis for the first half of the mile. For the second half of the mile, I would personalize it by concentrating on specific people in my life:

1 – Leanne

2 – Hannah & Isaac

3 – Greg Bonderanko, Jim Callahan, Bruce Beck, junior firefighters from our scout troop

4 – Heather Roulle, John D’Orazio, Shannon Clark, Mike C.

5 – Mike G., John Rizzuto, Evan Flora, Tom Williams

6 – Barack Obama, Joe Biden, senators, Congress, state governors

7 – U.N., NATO

8 – My neighbors, Joe Giunta

9 – Mayor Bloomberg, Brian Willem, Forefront Church

10 – NCC, Journey’s Crossing

11 – Christ’s Church of the Valley, my parents as my dad just started at a new church

12 – tough work relationships

13 – Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan

It was a powerful experience to give these things to God as I passed over each mile. It was freeing to release these people and worries to the One who cares so deeply for us.

I also had a couple of interesting and unexpected happenings related to the Race to Remember. I guess I wasn’t shocked when I started the “race” on my own despite my invitation for others to join me. For one, it was early in the morning (7AM), and most people were probably still in bed. Secondly, my last-minute idea really didn’t give a lot of time for people to prepare and commit to running 13.1 miles.

The first amusing happening came at the first half mile marker when a cat jumped on the trail and started running with me. I’ve had dogs run with me before, but I’ve never had a cat try to run with me. Honestly, it was a bit freaky as the cat stayed with me for several yards. When the cat finally realized it couldn’t keep up, it stopped and started meowing loudly at me. I smiled as I continued running thinking that this cat was my first cheering section of the day.

The second interesting happening occurred five miles into the “race” when I caught up to Dave, a man who used to go to our church. I almost ran past him until I realized who he was. I asked him how far he was going and he said a few more miles, so we ran together for about two and a half miles catching up on running, our kids, and their new church. It was a great, unexpected diversion in the middle of my run.

After I left Dave, I continued back on the trail towards home. As the miles wore on, I could feel my legs starting to grow tired. With about three miles to go, I saw another familiar face. Scott, a friend from scouting, was waiting for me and ready to run the final three miles with me. Apparently, he read my blog and was inspired to come out and run with me. It was another great diversion at the perfect time. As we clicked off the final three miles, we talked about our boys who are in the same class in their first year of middle school. We talked about September 11th and our plans for the day. And we enjoyed each other’s company as we talked about various other things.

When we finished (and I caught my breath), Scott asked if we should pray. It was a perfect way to end the Race to Remember. In addition to praying for the things written on my arm, I thanked God for the reminder through Scott and Dave of those who had “run” alongside my family over the past year at just the right time when we needed a meal, a prayer, or even just a friend to talk with. I will never forget the “race” yesterday and the reminders of God’s faithfulness and of hope for the future.

I’m looking forward to running the 2nd ever Perk Trail Half Marathon – Another Race to Remember next year. Who’s with me?

What did you do yesterday? Did you do anything to remember the tenth anniversary of September 11, 2001?

5 at Five

Five at five in the pouring rain

I hit the road and I feel no pain.

The lightning brightens up the sky,

I’m lost in my thoughts as my feet do fly.

Running brings me great relief,

I clear my head as I grit my teeth.

My body groans as I roll out of bed,

But it springs to life once the shoes do tread.

My morning run gives me time to ponder,

As I collect my thoughts and allow some to wander.

I’m thankful for these five at five,

When my soul wakes up and I feel alive.

I really appreciated my run this morning. As I prepare for my day and for the 1st ever Perk Trail Half, these are just some of my thoughts.

Are you a runner? What do you do on your runs? What do you think about while you’re pounding the pavement?

New Traditions

Here we are at the top of Mont Tremblant in Quebec, Canada after an hour and a half hike back in August. If it looks cold and cloudy to you, you are correct. We actually hiked into the clouds, and the temperature dropped noticeably as we made are ascent to the top. As we journeyed up the mountain, our kids repeatedly spoke of a new family tradition. You see, last summer, we hiked to the top of Sterling Mountain and Madonna Mountain when we were on vacation in Vermont. So two years in a row must make a tradition.

Family traditions like this can have a huge positive impact on our families. Traditions create fun expectations for everyone in the family. For example, my family always anticipates putting up the Christmas tree and listening to each other share stories as they hang up Christmas ornaments that have special significance. We also look forward to certain meals that have some tradition and family history tied to them. For example, I love to make, serve, and eat the Swedish Christmas meal. It brings back so many sweet memories of my grandparents, cousins, and parents.

This year as we rode the cable car down to the bottom of Mont Tremblant (yes, we cheated), our kids were already scheming and asking about where we could go next year on vacation that has a mountain we can climb. Despite the fatigue of climbing, I shared their excitement for continuing our new family tradition next year.

What traditions do you keep? Why? What is the special significance of these traditions?

A New Beginning

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Today is a day of new beginnings for our family. Hannah starts her last year of middle school. She is smart and confident and ready to go. As I mentioned a few days ago, Isaac starts his first year of middle school. I’m still blown away by how quickly this came up. And today, Leanne starts a new job! She will be helping preschool age children with special needs as she works as a behavioral therapist for Potential Discoveries. (She’ll be great!)

God’s timing in each of these new beginnings has been amazing. These opportunities have come at just the right time. I rejoice today as I recognize God’s faithfulness to us despite our impatience and anxiety.

I’m excited about a couple of new beginnings for me as well. I’ll keep you in suspense as I’m looking forward to sharing in future blog posts about what is new with me.

What’s new with you?

Race to Remember – Perk Trail Half Marathon – September 11, 2011

So…I have an idea. Are you ready?

Early this summer, I was inspired by an article in Runner’s World to follow a half marathon training program. I did some research, and I discovered that there was a half marathon being run on September 10th in Bird in Hand which isn’t too far from here (relatively speaking). I counted back and figured out when to start the training schedule in order to be ready for the race. I never signed up for the race as I wasn’t sure our family schedule would permit me to race on that day. As it turns out, September 10th didn’t work out. I’ve known this for a while, but I’ve continued to follow the training program. It’s been great for me! I have rebuilt my endurance and some of my “speed.”

As I’ve approached this upcoming weekend, I was determined to continue my training and find a way to run 13.1 miles. Last week, I dawned on my that September 11th will be an interesting day to run a half marathon – especially on the 10th anniversary of September 11, 2001. So here’s where my idea come in.

I’m planning to run 13.1 miles (half marathon distance) this Sunday on the Perkiomen Trail where I’ve done most of my training runs. If you’re interested (let me know), my plan is to start the “race” at mile marker 11 which is located behind Tailwinds Bike Shop in Schwenksville, PA. I’ll run south through Collegeville, PA to mile marker 4.5 which is located at Yerkes Road. I’ll turn around and come back with the finish past mile marker 11 at the Schwenksville Fire Department. My thought is to have a moment of silence before the start of the “race” to remember those impacted by the events which transpired 10 years ago.

I’ve also been thinking about dedicating each mile to thinking and praying for different people (and things)…Mile 1: Spouses of those who lost their lives on September 11th…Mile 2: Children of those who lost their lives on September 11th…Mile 3: Firefighters…Mile 4: Policemen…Mile 5: Service men and women…Mile 6: Leaders in our country…Mile 7: Leaders around the world…Mile 8: Leaders in our community…Mile 9: People who work in New York City…Mile 10 People who work in Washington, D.C….Mile 11: Churches and Aid Organizations…Mile 12: Our Enemies…Mile 13: Peace.

I’ve run the idea past a few people, and I’ve heard that some people might be interested in running a 5K (3.1 miles) instead. That’s definitely a great idea. It would mean started and finishing at the same points mentioned above, but the turnaround point would be mile marker 9.5 which is just south of the walking bridge past Plank Road Park.

As you may remember, I’m a big numbers guy, so here are some numbers to remember for the run this Sunday.

5 – 5K if you’re interested

7 – 7AM this is the start time – be there 10-15 minutes early if you’re planning to run

9 – September

11 – 11th

13 – 13.1 miles (Perk Trail Half Marathon)

So what do you think? Are you in? If not, I understand. Maybe you can take some time to remember those impacted by September 11th. Maybe you’ll stop by the trail and cheer on me (and any other runners). If you’re planning to run or cheer, drop me a comment.

For now, there won’t be any timekeepers, race T-shirts (although the idea crossed my mind), winners or losers, or aid stations. It’s for fun, and I think it will be a Race to Remember.

What will you be doing to remember September 11th?

Be Generous

Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely,
who conduct their affairs with justice.

Psalm 112:5

When Leanne and I were celebrating our 15th anniversary in Cape Cod, we met Bob (above). Bob met us one morning as we were getting off the boat on Nantucket. This meeting had been arranged by Bob’s son who goes to our church, and I want to make sure I never forget what we experienced. I don’t want to forget this day, because it was truly a great reminder of generosity. Here’s what happened.

Leanne and I decided that we should go to Nantucket on the actual day of our 15th anniversary. We arranged the visit boat ride over to the island from Cape Cod through Mary, our bed and breakfast hostess. We decided to take our bikes on the boat, so we could enjoy some biking and sight-seeing during our once in a lifetime day trip. As we unloaded our bikes from the boat, we met Bob. He was standing there patiently waiting for us in anticipation of starting the tour. Bob took us over to his yacht club where we dropped off his bike and proceeded to walk a few blocks up a hill to The First Congregational Church where our friend from church had been married. We walked up to the bell tower to enjoy spectacular views of Nantucket.

After walking back down to the yacht club, we jumped in Bob’s Suzuki Sidekick. From here, Bob took us all over the town where we saw The Oldest House on the island, the old windmill, and some homes of well-known business people and celebrities. The town is beautiful with its cobblestone streets and its blooming hydrangea bushes. As we traveled around the town, it was obvious that Bob knew many facts about this town and he was so happy to be able to share the place he loves with us.

When we got back to the yacht club, Bob offered to take us for a ride in his boat. At this point, I was beginning to wonder if I was dreaming – was I going to wake up back at home in Pennsylvania? Bob drove us around the harbor area of Nantucket and pointed out various homes and sites. He also shared stories about his family and about his business. You could tell he was particularly proud of his kids. The boat ride was so refreshing, and I felt like I was flying along the water as we motored across the harbor. It was a boat ride to remember. (Leanne even had an opportunity to drive the boat.)

Our time with Bob wasn’t over when we arrived back at the yacht club. Bob invited us to lunch at the club. It was an offer we couldn’t refuse – and I’m not sure he would have taken no for an answer. We enjoyed sandwiches and lemonades on the patio overlooking the tennis courts and harbor. Bob continued with stories of the yacht club. He told us about the boat races that he and his brother had won. He shared about how his kids had grown up at the yacht club every summer. He wasn’t bragging. He was celebrating. He was expressing thanksgiving for what he had experienced.

Following lunch, we said our good-byes. As Leanne and I walked to our bikes, we looked at each other and agreed that we would never forget our 15th anniversary, and we would never forget the generosity of Bob – a man we had never met before this day, a man who expressed generosity to complete strangers. I don’t anticipate the business success that Bob has had in his life (although I suppose that’s possible), but I want to be like Bob when it comes to being generous. Thanks, Bob for a great day and an important reminder to be generous.

Have you ever experienced generosity that blew you away?