Limitless

Today, I am blessed to share a guest post from Tara Watson.  Tara is a wife, mom, friend, and fellow blogger.  This year, she started blogging about her weight loss journey, but I think it’s turned into so much more.  I would highly encourage you to check out her blog (Chewing The Fat On Skinny) and become one of her readers.  Today, Tara shares about changing her view from CANNOT to CAN DO!  I love what she writes below.  Check it out, and let me know what you think by sending me a comment.

(I’m always looking for guest bloggers to share on Jon Stolpe Stretched.  Let me know if you’re interested in writing a guest post.  Thanks!)

When Jon asked me to be a guest blogger I thought, that’s like Picasso saying ‘Tara, come on over and we’ll sketch for a while’, because I consider Jon a fantastic writer. And then I thought “why not?”

When I was pondering about what was stretching me, plenty of things came to mind, but one thing came to the top of my mind. I’m reading this (fiction) book about an overachieving working mother of three whose life is turned upside-down after she sustains a traumatic brain injury (uplifting eh?). This (truly inspiring) book follows her journey before, during and after the injury. At one point during the book, she is in the hospital doing her physical therapy, feeling sorry for herself, and on the road to Doomsville as she calls it. Then she has an a-ha! moment. She realizes that she has been focusing on what she can’t do instead of what she CAN do. And this really changes how she approaches not only her recovery but her life.

This story, for many reasons, really resonates with me. I am an overachieving working mother of two who happens to have a neurological illness. I was diagnosed with this illness in 2002, and it has gotten worse over the past few years. It’s called trigeminal neuralgia/atypical facial pain (isn’t that a mouthful).  It causes me to experience a variety of pains in the right hand side of my head from pinching and pulling, to feeling like someone is driving nails in my head, to stop you in your tracks lightning bolts of pain. I am now on a (mostly) successful treatment program that has helped reduce the frequency and intensity of the attacks, but it still very much impacts how I can live my life.

Some of my pain triggers are cold weather,  hot weather, stress, noise, surprise, crying, laughing, going to the dentist…pretty much every day living. 😉 This impacts what kind of job I can hold, what I can do with my kids, and what kind of volunteer work I help with. It limits the time I can enjoy being outside doing hobbies, going to concerts, and doing adventurous things. Truth be told, if I sat down and made a list of what I can’t do because of this illness I’d most likely need some tissues and chocolate.

Instead, just like the character in the book, I am choosing to focus on what I CAN do. I can be a loving Mom, a compassionate wife, a giving family member, a kind friend and a helpful co-worker. I can hug, love, laugh, cry, jump, run, see and feel. I can dance, exercise, read, do my job well, and be crafty and funny. I CAN do soooo many more things than I cannot.  Another thing I can do is to look at myself through God’s eyes.

You see, God doesn’t look at what we can’t do because he knows what we CAN do. He knows the very essence of who we are. He doesn’t see our limits, He sees us as limitless.  He doesn’t see handicaps or illness, skin color or gender. He sees our beauty, talent and our untapped potential. God knows our faults and flaws, and He loves us anyway. And He has great plans for us, if only we would believe.

When I think about God’s great love for me and what He sees in me, the idea of cannot is erased. If God believes in me, I need to believe in me too. I need to love me like God loves me and accept that what I cannot do does not limit me, it defines me. You see, life’s pain and troubles refine me into exactly who God wants me to be.

This week, I ask you to take stock in how you are living your life. Are you focusing on what you cannot do? Chasing after things that you cannot have?

Or are you living in the can-do?  Remove the self-imposed limits you put on your life, focus on the little and big things that you CAN do, and realize that with God by your side and in your heart, you are limitless!

H.O.P.E. – Helping Other People Everywhere

We’re getting ready to kick-off the second year of our service group.  Our daughter, Hannah, came up with a new name for the group – H.O.P.E. which stands for Helping Other People Everywhere.  The group is designed for adults and kids elementary school age and older, and the group gets together twice a month to serve other people in practical ways, to fellowship with each other, and to have a great time.

Generally, we meet the first and third Tuesday evenings of the month.  On the first Tuesday of the month, we get together for a potluck style dinner.  At this meeting, we will usually participate in a small craft or project that benefits different causes.  Last year, we made cards for soldiers, filled eggs for Easter, and made crafts for hospice patients.  During this meeting, we will usually spend a few minutes discussing why we serve.  On the third Tuesday of the month, we go out and serve off-site.  Last year, we served in soup kitchens, nursing homes, Cradles to Crayons, Open Door Ministry Thrift Store, and Philabundance.

Our first meeting is coming up next week.  H.O.P.E. will meet at our house at 6:30PM on Tuesday, October 4, 2011.  We’re looking forward to starting up again, and we’d love to see new faces.  If you’re interested, drop me a comment, so we can get back to you.  This is a great group for families, couples, or singles who are looking for ways to connect with others and for ways to help other people.

When was the last time that you stopped to help someone else?  How did it go?

What kinds of projects would you like to get involved with that help others and show God’s love in practical ways?

Jon Stolpe Stretched Gets A Piece Of Toast Thanks To TentBlogger

One of the things I love about blogging is seeing all the crazy and creative things that other bloggers are doing.  Today’s post is simply a tribute to one of those bloggers, John Saddington.  John, a.k.a. Tent Blogger, quit his full-time job to become a full-time blogger.  That’s right he writes blogs for a living.  And from the sounds of it, he’s doing just fine.

A couple of weeks ago, John posted about these new stickers he was giving away – obviously to promote his blog.  But I think the stickers will be a conversation piece that will help other bloggers like myself.  The pictures here show one of the TentBlogger “toast” stickers on my journal.  I’ll also be putting one on my coffee cup at work today.  I carry these things around with me all the time.  I’m sure I’ll be asked many times, “What’s the deal with the tentblogger toast thing?”

I can’t wait to explain.  In the meantime, head on over to John’s blog.  He’s got some great ideas about blogging and life….and you might even get a free sticker or two!

Besides your own blog, what are the top 2 or 3 blogs that you enjoy following and why?

It’s The People – Back From Grove City College Homecoming

We just returned from a spectacular weekend at Grove City College.  The weather was uncharacteristically perfect – sunny with few clouds.  The campus was beautiful.  We continue to be blown away by all the enhancements and new buildings that keep popping up each time we visit.  The campus just keeps improving.  The homecoming festivities were traditionally fun.  We marched in the parade through campus and downtown Grove City with Leanne’s classmates.  We enjoyed a reunion luncheon.  And listened to the marching band march towards the football field during their pre-game ritual.  It was fun to give our kids a tour of all the places on campus that we remembered and that were new.  (Honestly, there was a bit more of a sales pitch going on this year than in other years.)  It’s hard to believe that our oldest is five years away from college.  (Did I just type that?!?)

All these things were great about our visit to Grove City College.  But the best thing by far was visiting with friends.  I got to visit with my friend, “Hack”, who roomed with me for two years and was the best man in our wedding.  Our time was short, but it was like old times as we shared some of our college days memories and caught up on some of the recent happenings of our families.  We also spent a lot of time with Leanne’s friends and their families.  In the 15 years since they graduated, Leanne’s friends have been keeping in touch through a monthly newsletter and through a once or twice a year get together.  The husbands of these ladies have become friends as well.  I absolutely enjoyed catching up these men.  And our kids had a blast hanging out together.

So while we enjoyed see Grove City College and its beautiful campus, the best part was the people.  Friendships of this quality and type are worth remembering and are worth celebrating.  I think the memories and the common Grove City ground help to bond these friendships, but I think it’s faith and the common bond of Christ that really has cemented many of these friendships that were formed more than 15 years ago.

As we finished up our time with Leanne’s friends at the hotel.  We cleaned up after breakfast, and we joined together in a small worship service.  We sang a few songs to the accompaniment of two guitars and a cello.  The kids participated in an activity designed to keep them preoccupied but also to help them think about how God is growing and shaping them.  And we finished with prayer together.  It was during this service that I realized how important our Grove City College friendships really were.  It was these friends who last year prayed every day at 1PM for Leanne and our family as we journeyed through some very difficult waters.  It was these friends who prayed yesterday and thanked God for healing.  It’s a wonderful thing to know that people have your back.  This is why I love Grove City College and why it was such a blessing to go back this weekend!

Do you go to your college homecoming?  How do you keep in touch with your friends from back in the day?

What Every Small Group Leader Should Know

Do you want to become a stronger leader?

Are you involved in group life ministry?

Next month, I’ve been invited to speak at a small group leader gathering at our church.  I’ve been asked to share my top 10 list of things that every small group leader should know.  I’m excited about this opportunity.  If you haven’t figured it out, I’m extremely passionate about small groups.  I truly believe they can provide a path for connection to others and to God.  I also believe that small groups play an important role in accountability and discipleship.  So I haven’t formulated my full list, but I’ve begun to process what I will share.

1.  The small group leaders are important.  They play a big part in helping people find community, find God, and find growth.  If you are a small group leader, you need to know that what you do matters.

2.  Small group leaders set the tone.  Whether or not you consider yourself a Biblical scholar, your group members look to you as an example.  For this reason, it’s important that small group leaders continue to model growth.  They should be in the Word.  They should develop disciplines that model growth.  Small group leaders aren’t perfect, but they must find others who will hold them accountable to setting the tone.

3.  Small groups are not about small group leaders.  Small groups aren’t meant to showcase your incredible “holiness” or biblical knowledge.  Small groups aren’t meant to show off how great you are as a leader.  Small groups are about the group – about pointing people to God.

4.  Small group leaders aren’t supposed to live on an island.  Leaders must find ways to stay strong and spiritually fervent.  They must also have a support team to provide guidance when small group life gets tough – and it usually will.

5.  Small group leaders must be invitational.  Intimacy and transparency in groups can be great, but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to invite others into the group.  I’m a big proponent of the “open chair” policy in small groups.  If you’re a small group leader, set the tone.  Make sure there is always an open chair in your group for new group members and guests.  Talk about it with your group.  Don’t let it be optional.

These are just some of my initial thoughts.  I’d love to hear what you think.

What would you add to the list?  What do you think every small group leader should know?

Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College

Leanne and I are getting ready to head out to Grove City College for homecoming and Leanne’s 15th reunion.  I’m excited to go back to the place we first met.  My four years at GCC were extremely memorable.  Since I’m thinking about it, here’s my Top 10 Things To Do At Grove City College:

1.  Go to chapel (16 times a semester).  As much as that may sound dull, we were blessed with some great speakers at GCC.  I particularly remember John Guest, Tony Campolo, and R.C. Sproul.

2.  Look to your left and look to your right.  As Nancy Paxton would tell all freshman, your future mate may be in sight.  As it turns out, I met Leanne at the end of my junior year.  The rest is history, so they say.

3.  Fries and cheese at the Gee.  I still remember the GeeDunk lady screaming, “Fries and Cheese” into the microphone as students waited for their late night snacks.  The GeeDunk has moved to another building since I graduated, but I’m sure many students from my generation will remember the Gee of old.

4.  Shoe in the door and two feet on the floor.  This was the saying that went with intervisitation – the couple of weekend hours when guys could visit girls in their dorms and girls could visit guys in their dorm rooms.  Honestly, I didn’t participate in this much at all, but it’s one thing that I remember about Grove City.  Grove City College kept guys and girls separated as far as sleeping quarters, so this couple of hours was considered sacred for many dating couples.  The shoe in the door and two feet on the floor things was a phrase meant to explain that things during intervisitation were supposed to stay pure.

5.  Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek, Wolf Creek.  This is the chant you would often hear as engaged guys were carried down to the creek.  They would receive a kiss from their girlfriend before their “buddies” threw them into the murky waters of Wolf Creek.  Yes, I have my own Wolf Creek story.

6.  Get off the Quad!  When I went to Grove City College, the Quad was considered sacred ground.  If anyone was seen running across the Quad, someone from Ketler would yell out the window, “Get off the Quad!”  I had the privilege of living in Ketler right on the Quad my freshman year, so I had a front row seat to the ‘holy green grass.’  Now, I understand that they let students use the upper quad for light sports.  What’s happening over there at GCC?

7.  Intramural sports.  I love playing intramural sports.  While at Grove City, I played basketball, football, softball, and even bowling.  It was a blast participating in these sporting events with my friends.  One of my favorite moments in my intramural sports career was dunking in a game while Leanne was watching.  My first ever dunk in a game situation.  I was flying high for a week!

8.  Study, study, and more study.  Grove City College is known for very high academic standards.  I spent many hours preparing for tests, quizzes, papers, projects, and final exams.  You could often find me hiding in the stacks up in Buhl Library, in the lab in Hoyt Hall, in Ketler Rec Center, or in my dorm room.  I’m so thankful for the rigorous academic programs at Grove City.

9.  Salt Company, Warriors for Christ, and other on-campus Christian groups.  It was truly a blessing to have these groups to lead and participate in worship and fellowship with fellow students.  So much of my world view and spiritual focus was shaped and groomed during my four years at the Grove.

10.  Meet life long friends.  I was truly blessed to meet some incredible friends at Grove City.  I met people through the engineering program, through my housing group, and through many on-campus activities.  I met my best man and two-year roommate, John Hackworth.  And I met my best friend and soul mate, Leanne, at Grove City.

Obviously, there are other things to do at Grove City College, but these are some of the top ones from my memory.  I look forward to walking through the campus and the town of Grove City and remembering four of the best years of my life.  It should be a blast!

What’s one thing you remember about your college experience that you don’t want to forget?

New Ways to Connect to the Jon Stolpe Stretched Community

The conversation on the blog has been great!  Thanks to all of you who continue to follow along and to contribute to Jon Stolpe Stretched.  Today, I wanted to tell you about two more ways that you can connect with the blog and the blog community.  First, I have created a Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook fan page.  This is a great place to see what’s going on with the blog, and it’s also a great place to connect with other great blogs.  Consider clicking “Like” on the Facebook fan page, and I’d encourage you to recommend this page to others.

Second, you can connect with me on Google+.  Yesterday, Google opened up Google+ to the public.  Consider adding Jon Stolpe to your ‘blogger’ circle.  I’ve been able to keep tabs on a lot of great bloggers who are already on Google+.  This is another great place for the community to stretch and grow.

As always, keep checking in here.  Keep contributing to the community with your comments.  You’re the best!  Thanks!

If you’re a blogger, what tools have you used to extend your blogging community?

Date Night

I’m fairly certain that I’ve  blogged about this before, but I think it’s been a while.  I just wanted to celebrate the weekly date night that my wife and I try hard to preserve.  Last night, we enjoyed some time together and some delicious dessert at a local treasure, Little Ortino’s, in “downtown” Schwenksville.  We enjoyed unbelievable coconut creme pie and peanut butter fudge pie, the great music of Jim Brickman, and wonderful company and conversation – with each other!

Monday night is sacred in our house.  Our kids know that this is the night that Mom and Dad get away together for an hour or so.  We all know not to schedule anything for this night.  Sometimes, we go for a walk.  Sometimes, we play tennis.  And sometimes, we grab dessert somewhere.  Whatever it is, we get to spend time together.  We get to connect – just the two of us.

If you’re married, I strongly encourage you to set aside a regular time to get away with your spouse.  Lock it in and make it sacred.

What is the best date you’ve experienced?

Book Review: Hell Is Real (But I Hate To Admit It) by Brian Jones

Brian Jones‘ third book, Hell Is Real (But I Hate To Admit It), came out a few weeks ago.  In Hell Is Real, Brian takes a different look at the topic of hell than other recent books that have raised some eyebrows like Love Wins by Rob Bell and responses to Bell’s book like Francis Chan‘s Erasing Hell.

Brian opens the book by explaining his own four-year period following seminary when he didn’t believe in hell.  From here, Brian goes on to explain that not only is hell real, but many people are heading there if they don’t find Christ and decide to follow Him.  He also shares his belief that many Christ followers lack what he calls apocalyptic urgency – an all-consuming urgency that hell is real and Christ’s message must be shared.  The real motive behind Brian’s latest book is to provide encouragement and practical tools for Christ followers to share their faith with others and to help save them from the eternal wrath of hell.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t crazy about the title of this book when I first picked it up.  The titles of Brian’s first two books, Second Guessing God and Getting Rid of the Gorilla, made more sense to me initially.  But after reading Hell Is Real, I get it now.  Hell Is Real is a quick read as Brian uses his story telling skills to weave stories in with his overall message.  But Hell Is Real is also very challenging.  I finished the book pondering and challenged to examine my relationships and to be strategic in sharing the message of Christ.

I definitely recommend Hell Is Real (But I Hate To Admit It).  I think it will change the way you think about sharing your faith.

How would you change the way you live if you really grasped the fact that your time left on earth was fading quickly?

(If you’re interested in getting small group discussion guides for Hell Is Real or other materials for making the most of your read, go to the website for the book by clicking here.  My small group is using the small group questions found at this site to discuss this topic.)

Hitting My Stride

As a runner, there are times when I am running where everything flows.  My breathing becomes controlled.  My pace feels good.  My legs and the rest of my body feel good as they move in concert.  These are the times when I know I’ve hit my stride.  It just feels right.  This feeling doesn’t always last for the rest of the run, and sometimes it comes and goes as I run against strong head winds or I turn the corner and face a long hill.  But it’s nice while it lasts.

As things have been developing at work, at home, at our kids’ school, and even here on the blog, I have recently had a feeling of peace – a feeling that I may finally be hitting my stride.  I’m a little afraid to say that for fear that I have somehow jinxed myself.  And I do realize that there will be things that come along that throw me off my stride – that throw me out of rhythm – and that’s okay.  I just wanted to celebrate this moment.

What can you celebrate today?