Cradles to Crayons

Last night, we took our H.O.P.E. group to West Conshohocken to the Cradles to Crayons Philadelphia warehouse.  Here we gathered clothing for clothing packs for boys and girls of various sizes.  And then we put together complete packages of clothing, toys, books, coats, boots, shoes, and even birthday presents for kids.  Cradles to Crayons serves five counties in the Philadelphia area.  They collect clothing and toys – mostly used, but still in good shape.  They sort and clean the donated items, and then they utilize their volunteers to get the donations ready to go back out the door.

I didn’t know what to fully expect when we walked in the door, and it took a few minutes to get up to speed on what was really going on.  But I left with a deeper appreciation for Cradles to Crayons and their mission.  This was a perfect activity for our service group as we could work together and help make a difference for some kids in our area.  If your family, your company, or your group is looking for a way to serve in a practical way, I would definitely recommend checking out Cradles to Crayons.  They would be overjoyed to have your help sorting and cleaning donations or in just dropping off some donations.

How and where have you served recently?

ChiliFest

This Saturday, we had a blast at our house – the first ever ChiliFest!  We invited several couples over with the idea that they would bring over their own chili to share with the rest of the guests.  We provided drinks, salad, dessert, and corn bread.  It was so fun to get together with couples who represented a hodgepodge of our friendships from the area.  There were friends from our neighborhood, friends from our old neighborhood, and friends from our church.  We enjoyed White Chicken Chili, Taco Chili, Buffalo Chicken Chili, Spicy Green Pork Chili, Pork/Beef/Beer Chili, and Traditional Tex-Mex Chili.  As we enjoyed the Chili, guests voted for their favorite chili’s in six different categories:  Most Unique Chili, Most Delicious Chili, Most Spicy Chili, Most Likely to Serve at Home Chili, Most Colorful Chili, and Best Overall Chili.  The winners of each category took home a unique bottle of hot sauce.

Besides the great food, we enjoyed great times with friends.  It was neat to see people from our friendship circles interacting with people they had never met before.  When we bought our house six years ago, we planned to use our home as a place to welcome our friends and neighbors – to bring connection and community to those around us.  Saturday’s ChiliFest was a great reminder for us!  I can’t wait until the next get together at our house.

What fun ideas do you have for fun in-home gatherings?

Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know

Yesterday, I had the honor and privilege of sharing my thoughts to a group of small group leaders at our church.  I shared 5 of my ideas in an earlier post, but I thought you might enjoy hearing my complete list.  So here are my notes:

I’m excited about this opportunity to share.  If you don’t know me or if you haven’t figured it out, I’m extremely passionate about small groups.  I truly believe they can provide a path for connection to others and to God.  I also believe that small groups play an important role in accountability and discipleship.  In no way is this list the Bible of small group leaders. It’s just my thoughts based on my involvement with small groups in various capacities for nearly 20 years. I’ve participated in groups. I’ve led groups. I’ve led group leaders. And I even had the privilege of leading a team of coaches.  (I was also brought up in a home where small groups were important and modeled by my parents.)  As I share my ideas, I’d encourage you to take a few notes.  So here goes:

1.  Small group leaders are important.  They play a big part in helping people find community, find God, and find growth.  If you are a small group leader, you need to know that what you do matters.

2.  Small group leaders set the tone.  Whether or not you consider yourself a Biblical scholar, your group members look to you as an example.  For this reason, it’s important that small group leaders continue to model growth.  They should be in the Word.  They should develop disciplines that model growth.  Small group leaders aren’t perfect, but they must find others who will hold them accountable to setting the tone.

3.  Small groups are not about small group leaders.  Small groups aren’t meant to showcase your incredible “holiness” or biblical knowledge.  Small groups aren’t meant to show off how great you are as a leader.  Small groups are about the group – about pointing people to God.

3A.  Small groups aren’t just about the groups either. Get out there and serve with your group. Find a way once a month or once every other month to get out there and serve together. Adopt a place that your group can focus on. There are many area nursing homes, soup kitchens, food and clothing pantries, etc. that would love to have the support of your group. Getting your group involved in this type of service gets your group focused on others and allows your group to practically put into motion what following Christ is all about.

4.  Small group leaders aren’t supposed to live on an island.  Leaders must find ways to stay strong and spiritually fervent.  They must also have a support team to provide guidance when small group life gets tough – and it usually will. (I wrote about this on my blog over a year ago.)

5.  Small group leaders must be invitational.  Intimacy and transparency in groups can be great, but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to invite others into the group.  I’m a big proponent of the “open chair” policy in small groups.  If you’re a small group leader, set the tone.  Make sure there is always an open chair in your group for new group members and guests.  Talk about it with your group.  Don’t let it be optional.

6.  Small group leaders aren’t perfect.  I think I said this before.  Group leaders must be honest with themselves.  They must learn to ask for help.  Maybe you stink at the administrative stuff, or maybe you’re a terrible host.  Look to those around you.  Get others to use their gifts to help the group and to help you as a leader.  Not only does this make you and the group better, but it engages others into the group experience.  People want to be asked to help.  They are often just waiting for you to ask them to get involved.

7.  Being a small group leader isn’t always easy.  Let’s face it, nobody likes to deal with EGRs (Extra Grace Required people).  But it can also be challenging when people in your group are going through difficult life circumstances.  People in your groups will get sick, they’ll have messed up relationships, and they’ll make mistakes that carry significant consequences.  You may be required to get involved with the mess.  Embrace it.  God may have placed you in leadership for such a time as this.

8.  Seek advice and wisdom from trusted advisers.  Your pastor, group life pastor and others who have been doing small group ministry for a while can be helpful.  They will know how to react.  They will know when to bring in assistance.  (I have also found a lot of great small group leader advice and resources on-line. Mention blogs – Because Relationships Matter by Kathy Guy, Heather Zempel, Life & Theology by Ben Reed, Mark Howell Live by Mark Howell, Simple Small Groups by Bill Search, Small Group Books.com by Ryan Knight, Small Group Pastors by the Central Christian Church in Las Vegas, The Naked Truth About Small Group Ministry by Randall Neighbor, and Will Johnston – of NCC.)

9.  Lean into the small group leader community.  Make it a priority to be here for each quarterly meeting.  Connect with each other outside this meeting.  Go to lunch or breakfast together.  When you see each other in and out of church, stop, ask, and share about your group.

9A.  Be patient. It may take time for your small group to grow. I remember starting our first group at our church. We met at our house. The Stolpes and the Callahans. This was it week after week after week. Then we added the Santangelos. Then the Bonanis started coming. Suddenly our small living room was filling up. We switched over to the Callahans. Before we knew it, we had to split up into three different rooms. The group had grown so much. I have seen this trend again and again. Don’t give up! It may take a little while for your group to catch on. Remember that God is there when two or more gather in His name.

10.  Be passionate!  My list started with a reminder that what you do as a small group leader matters.  Realize this fact.  Think about it.  Believe it. Act like it!  You have a great honor and privilege to lead others in their journey towards Christ.  This is awesome stuff!  Be excited about what you are doing.  Spread the excitement to others!

That’s my top 10 (or 12) things that small group leaders should know. I’d love to hear your ideas and questions. Before that, I’d like to leave you with this. Thank you! Thank you for stepping up to serve. Thank you for getting out of your comfort zone. Thank you for leading. Thank you for leading when it’s fun and when it’s not. Thank you for making a difference. Thank you for caring enough to help others connect to others and to God.

So these were my notes.  I would add another point based on some of the discussion that followed our meeting.  We’ll call it number 7A:  You may need to be flexible.  Sometimes life happens, and you need to throw out your plans for the meeting to address concerns that need immediate attention.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What would you add to the list?  How have you seen these points in your small group experience?

Field of Changed Dreams?

Blogging continues to be a huge place for community.  I am blown away by the friends I’ve met through Jon Stolpe Stretched and other blogs.  One of my blogging friends is Arny Sanchez.  Arny writes a blog called The Analogous Truth where he relates current culture to life and faith.  I’ve enjoyed following Arny as he’s related things like Star Wars and The Lord of The Rings to my world.  Today, I have the honor and privilege of sharing Arny with you as he related my favorite movie to a real life challenge.

Oh and by the way, today marks the 500th post at Jon Stolpe Stretched.  What a great way to celebrate!

(If you’re interested in becoming a guest blogger at Jon Stolpe Stretched, drop me a line in the comment section.  I’m always looking for opportunities to share.)

One of the best sports movies of all time has to be Field of Dreams – Jon’s favorite movie of all time as a matter of fact.

There is just something special about a guy chasing a dream that everyone thinks he is crazy for, and he is willing to sacrifice it all.

But, what if you had to give up that dream, or change it drastically?  For the sake of another.

One of my favorite characters from the movie is The Mysterious Ghost of Dr. “Moonlight” Graham…

The scene:

Graham played baseball when he was young but only got to play one game in the Major League and never batted.  Ray, (Kevin Costner) finds out Graham had passed away and never pursued his true dream again.  Even the ghost of Graham tells Ray that he is too old to be chasing young dreams.

Well, on the ride back, Ray picks up a hitchhiker with a bag with baseball gear in it….he looks like a really young kid.  They ask him his name and he says, “Graham, Archie Graham”.  So cool, right?!

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God”

– God (Psalm 46:10)

That’s all I’ve got today.

How about you?  What’s your word for the day?

Ice Breaker – When Was The Last Time You Cried

This ice breaker thing is catching on.  I’m moving the question for this week up a couple of days to save Friday for a special post that I can’t wait to share.  I’ve been tossing this week’s question around for the past several days.  A friend of mine appears to be in his last days here on earth as his battle with brain cancer has taken a dramatic turn for the worse.  As I think about my friend, I’m reminded of a trip we took together to the Willow Creek Group Life Conference several years ago.  This was really the first time that I spent significant time with my friend as we hung out with several other small group leaders from our church for a few days.  I specifically remember sitting next my friend on the airplane as we flew home to the Philadelphia area.  As we sat together, my friend opened up as he shared his story.  I’m not sure if I actually asked him today’s ice breaker question, but I knew that our conversation had taken a jump to a whole new level of transparency as my friend began to cry as he described his family growing up.  I will never forget the tears streaming down his face.  I know there was pain in his conversation, but I clearly could see that there was also freedom in sharing and releasing the emotion that went with this discussion.

And so I ask this week’s ice breaker question.  As a reminder, Ice breaker questions are used to help people get to know each other – to “break the ice” so to speak.  I’ll answer it first, then it’s your turn.  Answer the question by leaving a comment for us all to enjoy.  Thanks!

Question:  When was the last time you cried (I mean really cried) and why?

My Answer:  Here you go….

I don’t cry very often.  Just ask my wife.  Occasionally, I’ll tear up when I see something moving on TV or in a movie.  I’ve even teared up at Hannah’s recent cross-country meets as her teammates and the members of the opposing teams gather to cheer on the last boy as he approaches the finishes line well behind the pack.

When I think about the last time I really cried, I journey back to a time about a year ago.  Actually, it’s been more than a year ago.  Last September, my wonderful wife had to go to the hospital.  Without going into a lot of detail, I remember doing everything I could to hold it together as I waited by her side in the hospital while we waited for things to be worked out with the medical staff.  I even remember holding it together despite being stunned as I rode back home in the car with my dad after we left my wife at the hospital.  Once we got home and I crawled up to our bedroom in the early morning hours, it wasn’t long until my tears began to flow.  As my tears flowed, I was desperate for an answer from God.  Why was this happening?  What was next?  How would I move forward?  I like to have everything in order and under control, and the events of that evening chattered much of my world.

A lot has happened since then.  My wife has experienced amazing healing.  Our family has been mended together more fully.  And we’ve had many, many happy moments and memories since this time of desperation.

So there you have it, my answer to the question.  Now it’s your turn….

(Oh, one more thing.  Could you please pray for my friend and his family?  Thanks!)

Important Puzzle Pieces

Do you ever feel like you don’t belong?  Do you sometimes feel like you don’t fit in?  Or do you think that nobody will realize if you’re missing?  I think it’s natural to wrestle with these thoughts from time to time.  I think I especially struggled with these thoughts in junior high and possibly high school.  But I’m sure these thoughts have come and go from time to time since then.

Our church started a series on Sunday called The Body.  I’m excited for this series.  I think it will provide a reminder to all of us at our church that we’re all important.  We all matter.  And we all play an important role in the body.

This past summer, our family went camping with a few other families.  During the weekend outdoor chapel service, the chaplain shared an exercise that helped to illustrate this.  As campers arrived at the amphitheater, they were given a puzzle piece.  No body knew anything about their puzzle piece.  They didn’t know how it fit together to make a bigger, complete picture.  After the chaplain shared a few words, he called up everyone to a table to put together their pieces.  As the campers brought their pieces together and began working together, they began to create a beautiful picture.  The picture wasn’t complete until each and every piece had been added to the whole.  If someone had withheld their piece, the picture would have a big hole in it.  If someone didn’t put their piece in the right place, the puzzle wouldn’t work.

This simple puzzle exercise provided a great tool for reminding us all that we all matter, we belong, and we fit in – just right – to make the whole picture complete.  We are each an important piece of the whole!

Where do you fit in?  How has God gifted you in a way that makes the body more complete and beautiful?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.  Romans 12:1-8

It’s Official – I Signed Up For A Marathon

Last week, I mentioned that I was toying around with the idea of running a marathon in the near future.  On Saturday, I signed up for The Thanksgiving Marathon that takes place on Thanksgiving morning in the Bronx, NYC, NY.  So naturally, I kept up with my running over the weekend to stay on track for being ready for this target race.

Saturday, I ran 5 quick and easy miles on the beloved Perkiomen Trail.  It felt good!  And it was beautiful to run on a section of the trail that I haven’t been on for a while.  And then Sunday morning before church, I ran 18.7 miles (again on the Perkiomen Trail).  Overall, the run went very well.  I definitely ran more quickly than I should have, but it felt fine up until the last two or three miles.  I think I’ll need a day or two for my legs to recover from this run.  Going up and down stairs isn’t meant to be such a challenge.  My legs better recover soon though, so I can get back to training for the upcoming marathon.

So our family is starting to plan our trip to NYC.  We’ll miss seeing members of our extended family over the Thanksgiving holiday, but I’m sure we’ll have many new exciting memories as we embark on this adventure.

What are your plans for Thanksgiving?  Do you have any fun, crazy, or interesting traditions?

Ice Breaker – What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up

Last Friday, I threw out an ice breaker question, and I loved the response.  So I thought I’d try again.  Ice breaker questions are used to help people get to know each other – to “break the ice” so to speak.  As I stated last week, I love to hear what other people have to say and how they think.  So for today, I’m throwing out another simple ice breaker question.  I’ll answer it first, then it’s your turn.  Answer the question by leaving a comment for us all to enjoy.  Thanks!

Question:  When you were younger (or maybe you’re still younger), what did you want to be when you grew up?  How did it work out for you?

My Answer:  Here you go….

What little boy doesn’t want to be a firefighter.  I think I wanted to be a fireman up until 1st or 2nd grade.  This never panned out; however, I did go through a pretty good stint as a pyrotechnics engineer – I mean pyromaniac.  In fact, I almost burnt the New Jersey Pine Barrens down during a junior high camping trip to Bass River State Park.

I switched over to wanting to be an actor when I was in 3rd or 4th grade.  My parents took me to see Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and Fiddler on the Roof, so these provided some inspiration.  But I really took on the acting bug when I had the chance to play one of the leading roles in our church’s production of The Music Machine.  I have seen lots of pictures of my debut performance, but I think a video would be pretty hysterical.  Speaking of videos, I had the honor of being the lead reporter in a video featuring our junior high youth group.  The video was called Jerusalem Today, and it brought out some of the funniest outtakes I’ve seen.  Needless to say, my acting career never really took off.

During high school, I thought for sure that I wanted to be a pharmacist.  I loved chemistry, and it sounded like pharmacists made a lot of money.  Honestly, I’m not sure what swayed me from this path.  Perhaps, it was the knowledge that I would have to go to college for an extra year or two to fulfill this dream.  I’m not sure, but I’m not a pharmacist.

As it turns out, I went to school for engineering.  I became a project engineer and project manager in the building automation industry when I graduated college.  Somewhere along the way, I realized that I wanted a more direct role in managing and helping people succeed, so I pursued my MBA.  Now I work as an operations manager in the building automation industry.  I love what I do (most days)!

So there you have it, my answer to the question.  Now it’s your turn….

Spur One Another On – Are You Being Spurred?

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:23-25

What do these words mean to you?

Last night, I met with my MEAT group.  I honestly felt like I was called out on the carpet for a few things that I had mentioned to another person in the group.  I’m not sure if it felt right to be singled out for my comments, but I will say that it permitted conversation within the group that spurred me on – and hopefully spurred others on in the group.

When we think of what it means to be in fellowship with one another, we all come into the discussion with different ideas from our past experiences, from our education, and from our own expectations.  I’ve been doing small group stuff for a while now, and even though I’m extremely open to what could be considered a small group, I still have my own preconceived ideas for what life in a small group looks like.  I don’t always get it right.

Last night, I was definitely spurred on.  I think the conversation last night spurred others on as well.  I think it provided encouragement, support, and accountability.  Being part of a group where this type of conversation can take place is important.  It’s important for testing and growing our faith.  It’s important for support.  Many of these guys were here for me as my family went through challenging times over the past year.  It’s also important for uplifting the soul.  We laugh a lot at our weekly MEAT meetings, and laughter can be such great medicine for the soul.

Are you part of a group like this?

What are the key ingredients for a small group?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!