Ice Breaker – Easter Candy
It’s time for the weekly Stretched Ice Breaker!
Every Friday here on The Stretched Blog, I ask a question which helps us get to know each other. I’ll answer first. Then you join the conversation by leaving your answer in the comments section.
This week, my kids helped me with the ice breaker question. I think you’ll find it fun and entertaining. Here goes….
Question: What is your favorite Easter candy?
My Answer: I have to go with stale Peeps. You know what I’m talking about. They’re the sugar-coated, bite-size marshmallow treats that look like little bunnies or baby chicks. I love to open them up on Easter morning and let them sit for a day or two until the outer coating hardens up. There’s nothing quite like two-day old Peeps. (Interesting fact, Peeps are manufactured just north of The Stretched Blogger up in the Allentown/Bethlehem, PA area.)
My second place Easter candy – black jelly beans. You either love them or you hate them. I love them!
Okay. Now it’s your turn. Let’s hear your answer to today’s Stretched Ice Breaker. Have a great weekend!
When Stress and Anxiety Levels Overtake Me
There are times when stress and anxiety overtake me.
Yesterday was an incredibly busy and fairly stress day. I gave a job offer/promotion to one person on my team, and I had to tell four other people that they didn’t get the job. I had several people asking me for help in getting resources that were limited at the moment. And I had to do an exit interview for one of my indirect reports who decided they wanted to end their employment sooner than agreed. Meanwhile, I was straining to catch up on emails and to-do-list items that continue to build up. Honestly, I could feel the stress building up as the day progressed.
When time like this come I cherish scripture that reminds me to give my worry and anxiety to God. Here are a few of the verses I go back to at times like this:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:19
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
As I reflect on my day, I lean on these verses as timely reminders to relax and to trust God for wisdom, authority, strength, and peace.
And now, I’m ready for a new day!
How do you deal with stress? What helps you when your anxiety levels begin to elevate?
Why Do I Write?
Why do I write?
This is a great question.
I’ve always had a stronger pull towards math and science. This drove me to become an engineer.
But I must have had some writing pulsing through my veins along the way. I made it through four years of high school honors English although this was a struggle for me as I fought to keep up with my creative and competitive classmates. I still remember the crushing blow of my first (and only) “D” in my second marking period of honors English with Mr. Minnear. I finished the class with a “B” thanks to lots of effort and some help from my father who majored in English literature during his undergraduate studies.
Strangely enough, I’ve been drawn to writing over the last few years. If I’m honest, I must confess that I want to be noticed through my writing – to one day write a book and to be known as a writer. But writing is so much more than that for me. Writing is an outlet – a place to process my joys, my struggles, my ups and downs, my faith, my thoughts, and even the mundane aspects of life. Through my writing, I hope to stretch myself and to stretch others along the way. My writing helps me keep track of life as it moves along at an ever quickening pace.
This is all part of it, but there is something more.
Why do I write?
I write to honor God. I write to bring God glory. I write to grow closer to God.
This is why I write.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17
Why do you write?
Leap of Faith Continued (The Decision)
So I kind of left you hanging yesterday when I shared about my “big decision” and about my wrestling matching between my fears and my leap of faith. I wanted to share today about my decision.
After a lot of thought and prayer, some pushing and prodding, and some great advice from a few trusted friends and family members, I’ve decided to join Hannah (my daughter) on a missions trip to Guatemala. This summer, I will be joining our church’s high school missions team as they head to Guatemala to serve with A.I.M. (Adventures in Missions). I don’t know all the details yet, but I know we’ll be there for eight days.
So why was this decision such a big deal to me? After all, going on a missions trip with my daughter sounds like a great idea. Right? Well, yes it does. And lots of people take trips like this. I know the trip will cost money, and I don’t know where that’s coming from yet, but I’m trusting that God will provide (I’m trying to figure out how to use The Stretched Blog and The Stretched Community to help). My bigger worry is about leaving home for eight days. You may remember that we had to cancel a planned trip to Kenya a couple of years ago due to some family health issues. These health issues have improved dramatically, but I still carry some of the fear and anxiety of that time period. This makes the decision more challenging for me.
As I was discussing my decision with a good friend a couple of days ago, he pointed out that I had faith that God would provide the financial resources to make the trip possible. Shouldn’t I also have faith that God would take care of things at home while I was away? This point really hit home for me. And so I’m making this leap of faith to Guatemala – trusting that God will provide both financially and health-wise.
I’m excited to share more of this journey with The Stretched Community in the coming days, weeks, and months. Stay tuned to keep up with this leap of faith.
How or where are you taking a leap of faith these days? Have you ever been to Guatemala?
Leap of Faith
I’ve been wrestling with a decision for a while now. The decision is a big deal for me. I see so many reasons to go a certain direction with the decision, but I grapple with my own fears and anxiety that would keep me from going in that direction.
I’ve talked with a few people about the decision. These are godly people whose wisdom and opinion I respect. Each of them have encouraged me to put aside my fears and to take a leap of faith.
What is faith?
Faith is trusting in things we can’t see, in things we can’t control, and in power beyond us. Faith is about dreaming big. Faith is believing that everything will be okay in the end even when we can’t see the way right in front of us. Faith is being able to put aside our fears – or maybe to face our fears – and trust that God will take care of things. Faith can help us break the paralysis of analysis inflicted by life’s anxieties. Faith is more than just words – it’s followed by actions.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
As I was thinking about faith and about my decision, this clip from Indian Jones and The Last Crusade came to mind. In the scene, Indiana Jones must get from one side of a chasm to the other side. When he arrives at the edge, there’s no apparent way to get across. Through his study of ancient literature and archaeology, Indiana Jones comes to the conclusion that the only way across the gaping pit is to take a step of faith. This is exactly how I feel as I head into my decision.
Isn’t this a great clip? You see, in life, we have decisions to make that require faith. Which college should I go to and what should my major be? Who should I marry? Where should I live? Where should I work? Where should I go to church? Should we have kids? You get the idea. Our lives are riddled with decisions that require faith. We have to trust that as we step into the great unknown, God will catch us. And that’s where I’m at with my decision.
Stay tuned for more details about my “big decision.”
What leap of faith do you need to take right now? What’s holding you back?
Continue To Learn
Yesterday, I journeyed up to DeSales University for the PSPE Lehigh Valley Engineering Symposium in an effort to complete my continuing education requirements for my professional engineering license. I took a couple of engineering ethics courses and two classes about construction project management and construction law. The classes were okay considering the subject matter. I’m looking forward to Wednesday when I’ll be taking courses that relate more directly to my work at Siemens. These classes will include the following topics: LEED and Green Building Standards, OSHA Compliance Regulations, Basic Thermal Design, Electricity for Non-Electrical Engineers, and Building Systems Commissioning.
This may sound fairly boring to many of my regular readers, but it’s an important part of staying fresh as an engineer. Pennsylvania just enacted this continuing education requirement for engineers. So I need these courses to keep my license, but I also need these courses to stay up to date as an engineer.
Just like continuing education is important to engineers, it’s also important for everyone. We should make it our goal to keep on learning every day. Whether you are an engineer, an accountant, a pastor, an IT expert, a mom, a dad, a husband, or a wife, it’s essential that you continue to learn.
Learning STRETCHES us.
Learning keeps us fresh.
Learning gives us new ideas for being the best we can be.
Learning helps us make the most of our God-given gifts and talents.
So keep learning, keep growing, keep STRETCHING!
What are you learning about these days? How do you pursue continuing education? What learning opportunities have STRETCHED you?
Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know
Several months ago, I had the honor and privilege of sharing my thoughts to a group of small group leaders at our church. I shared this list on the old jonstolpe.wordpress site, and it continues to be the most popular post. I thought it might be a good idea to repost it here on the new site to hopefully spark some new conversation and thoughts about small group leadership. So here are my notes:
I’m excited about this opportunity to share. If you don’t know me or if you haven’t figured it out, I’m extremely passionate about small groups. I truly believe they can provide a path for connection to others and to God. I also believe that small groups play an important role in accountability and discipleship. In no way is this list the Bible of small group leaders. It’s just my thoughts based on my involvement with small groups in various capacities for nearly 20 years. I’ve participated in groups. I’ve led groups. I’ve led group leaders. And I even had the privilege of leading a team of coaches. (I was also brought up in a home where small groups were important and modeled by my parents.) As I share my ideas, I’d encourage you to take a few notes. So here goes:
1. Small group leaders are important. They play a big part in helping people find community, find God, and find growth. If you are a small group leader, you need to know that what you do matters.
2. Small group leaders set the tone. Whether or not you consider yourself a Biblical scholar, your group members look to you as an example. For this reason, it’s important that small group leaders continue to model growth. They should be in the Word. They should develop disciplines that model growth. Small group leaders aren’t perfect, but they must find others who will hold them accountable to setting the tone.
3. Small groups are not about small group leaders. Small groups aren’t meant to showcase your incredible “holiness” or biblical knowledge. Small groups aren’t meant to show off how great you are as a leader. Small groups are about the group – about pointing people to God.
3A. Small groups aren’t just about the groups either. Get out there and serve with your group. Find a way once a month or once every other month to get out there and serve together. Adopt a place that your group can focus on. There are many area nursing homes, soup kitchens, food and clothing pantries, etc. that would love to have the support of your group. Getting your group involved in this type of service gets your group focused on others and allows your group to practically put into motion what following Christ is all about.
4. Small group leaders aren’t supposed to live on an island. Leaders must find ways to stay strong and spiritually fervent. They must also have a support team to provide guidance when small group life gets tough – and it usually will. (I wrote about this on my blog over a year ago.)
5. Small group leaders must be invitational. Intimacy and transparency in groups can be great, but it shouldn’t be an excuse not to invite others into the group. I’m a big proponent of the “open chair” policy in small groups. If you’re a small group leader, set the tone. Make sure there is always an open chair in your group for new group members and guests. Talk about it with your group. Don’t let it be optional.
6. Small group leaders aren’t perfect. I think I said this before. Group leaders must be honest with themselves. They must learn to ask for help. Maybe you stink at the administrative stuff, or maybe you’re a terrible host. Look to those around you. Get others to use their gifts to help the group and to help you as a leader. Not only does this make you and the group better, but it engages others into the group experience. People want to be asked to help. They are often just waiting for you to ask them to get involved.
7. Being a small group leader isn’t always easy. Let’s face it, nobody likes to deal with EGRs (Extra Grace Required people). But it can also be challenging when people in your group are going through difficult life circumstances. People in your groups will get sick, they’ll have messed up relationships, and they’ll make mistakes that carry significant consequences. You may be required to get involved with the mess. Embrace it. God may have placed you in leadership for such a time as this.
8. Seek advice and wisdom from trusted advisers. Your pastor, group life pastor and others who have been doing small group ministry for a while can be helpful. They will know how to react. They will know when to bring in assistance. (I have also found a lot of great small group leader advice and resources on-line. Mention blogs – Because Relationships Matter by Kathy Guy, Heather Zempel, Life & Theology by Ben Reed, Mark Howell Live by Mark Howell, Simple Small Groups by Bill Search, Small Group Books.com by Ryan Knight, Small Group Pastors by the Central Christian Church in Las Vegas, The Naked Truth About Small Group Ministry by Randall Neighbor, and Will Johnston – of NCC.)
9. Lean into the small group leader community. Make it a priority to be here for each quarterly meeting. Connect with each other outside this meeting. Go to lunch or breakfast together. When you see each other in and out of church, stop, ask, and share about your group.
9A. Be patient. It may take time for your small group to grow. I remember starting our first group at our church. We met at our house. The Stolpes and the Callahans. This was it week after week after week. Then we added the Santangelos. Then the Bonanis started coming. Suddenly our small living room was filling up. We switched over to the Callahans. Before we knew it, we had to split up into three different rooms. The group had grown so much. I have seen this trend again and again. Don’t give up! It may take a little while for your group to catch on. Remember that God is there when two or more gather in His name.
10. Be passionate! My list started with a reminder that what you do as a small group leader matters. Realize this fact. Think about it. Believe it. Act like it! You have a great honor and privilege to lead others in their journey towards Christ. This is awesome stuff! Be excited about what you are doing. Spread the excitement to others!
That’s my top 10 (or 12) things that small group leaders should know. I’d love to hear your ideas and questions. Before that, I’d like to leave you with this. Thank you! Thank you for stepping up to serve. Thank you for getting out of your comfort zone. Thank you for leading. Thank you for leading when it’s fun and when it’s not. Thank you for making a difference. Thank you for caring enough to help others connect to others and to God.
So these were my notes. I would add another point based on some of the discussion that followed our meeting. We’ll call it number 7A: You may need to be flexible. Sometimes life happens, and you need to throw out your plans for the meeting to address concerns that need immediate attention.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
What would you add to the list? How have you seen these points in your small group experience?
Quality – Time
Today is Day Four of Quality Week on The Stretched Blog. Check out the previous three days to catch up on some of my thoughts on quality. I’m approaching the word quality from a different angle today. We usually associate the word quality with a product or service… ‘they provide quality service‘… or… ‘that product is a quality product.‘ But what if we look at quality as an indication of our time? What does quality time look like?
Quality time means being present. In order for me to provide quality time to my wife and kids, my mind has to be with them at the same time my body is next to them. It’s easy for my mind to wander to work, to the big game, to my next blog post, to anything. If I’m serious about quality time, I need to focus on my wife and kids when I’m with them.
Quality time means making the time. In our house, it feels like we are so busy going from one activity to the next. We go to work, school, sports, scouts, piano, small groups, church, school activities, puppy club, etc. All these things are great, but they can crowd out time to spend in relationship together. With all of our activities, our family definitely has to be intentional with our time together (and we don’t always get it right). Try turning off the TV and play a game instead. Go for a ride in the car together. Take a walk. Each of these things can provide quality time for you and your family.
Quality time means saying no. Sometimes, we have to say no to activities that are demanding our attention. I was struck by Isaac’s decision this weekend to miss out on an event that he normally would have jumped at the chance to attend. He decided that he needed a break – that it was okay if he didn’t make it this time. I applaud him for deciding to hang out with his parents.
Quality time means being creative. This past weekend, I had the honor of taking Hannah out for a date. We ended up going to the gym to work out which honestly didn’t give us any quality time together; however, we followed up the gym with her first trip to Kiwi Yogurt, a local frozen yogurt place. We picked out our treats and we headed to the car where we enjoyed our frozen desserts and some great conversation about heading to high school next year. Think outside the box when it comes to creating quality times for you and your family.
Quality time is important. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize that I rushed through it just to get to the next thing.
What does quality time look like for you? How do you make quality time in your life?
Quality – Lessons from Mr. Bobo
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word quality lately. In my department, we are focusing on the quality of our product. We want to produce the best product possible. We want to be proud of our work. This week The Stretched Blog will focus on quality. To start the week off, I share how quality was instilled in me at the beginning of my working life.
When I was in high school, I had a clear interest in math and science. I’ve always loved solving problems and figuring things out. Little did I realize how important quality is to the math and science fields.
My dad was one of the pastors at the church where I grew up in New Jersey. Sometimes it was tough being a PK (Pastor’s Kid), but most of the time I didn’t mind it that much. My dad was a celebrity of sorts as he knew many leaders, personalities, and business people in and around our town. He knew people from our church who were involved in all kinds of different career fields.
I’d like to think it was because I worked hard, but I’m guessing my dad had something to do with the calls I received to work at various jobs around the community. I cut grass. I shoveled snow. I raked leaves. I painted housed. I washed dishes. I hung curtains. I did all sorts of things. But one job I will always remember is the four years I worked as a land surveyor for Henry Bobo. Apparently, Mr. Bobo had heard about my interest in math and science, and he needed a helper in the field to help him survey properties around the area.
Mr. Bobo was an older gentleman who lived with his wife, Grace, in the center of Mt. Holly, NJ. He kept his surveying business going despite the physical demands of the trade that could be tough for a man his age.
When I started working for Mr. Bobo, I would ride my bike two and a half miles to his house where we would load up his equipment in his red and white van as we prepared for a day in the field measuring distances, taking elevations readings, cutting through brush along property lines, and marking out property corner stones and markers. Working for Mr. Bobo, I learned a lot about the importance of precise setup and accurate measurement and note taking. I remember how frustrated he would become when I didn’t hold the plumb-bob correctly or the rod just right.
When I started working for Mr. Bobo early in high school, I was the gopher and the “rod man.” I was responsible for holding the reflector rod or the plumb bob while Mr. Bobo used the transit and took the field notes. As time went on, I began to learn how to set up and operate the transit. Suddenly, I was looking through the transit and taking notes. Mr. Bobo was very direct in explaining how the numbers should be written in the log book. I’ve always had neat handwriting, but I would always hear it from Mr. Bobo if my numbers weren’t written correctly. This used to drive me crazy.
Towards the end of my time working with Mr. Bobo, he had me doing the drafting up in his office. Here I would take the field notes and draw out the site plan and topographical map of the places we had previously surveyed. It was through this activity that I understood why it was so important to hold the rod steady, to set up the transit properly, and why it was so important to write the field notes so clearly. If the measurements and numbers weren’t written correctly, the plans wouldn’t come out right. There would be “gaps” in the drawings.
Mr. Bobo’s demand for quality was essential to his final product. His lessons in doing things the right way has been important in my career and in my daily activities. I’m thankful for Mr. Bobo and his insistence on doing things right.
Who has had an impact on you when it comes to quality?
I Don’t Want to be a Pharisee
I don’t want to be a Pharisee!
In Matthew, Jesus speaks out warning against the Pharisees and the teachers of the law. He calls them hypocrites and snakes. He calls them out for saying one thing but doing another thing. He scolds them for falsely teaching others – for taking the law out of context and missing the point of the law.
We don’t have Pharisees today, but we do have preachers, teachers, and lay people who do the very things for which Jesus accused the teachers of the law and the Pharisees. I don’t want to be like that.
As a father, I find that this is the biggest area where I struggle with this. I want to be the best example for my kids. I want to teach them in words, and I want to lead by my actions. Unfortunately, I don’t always get this right. I fail. I don’t follow through. I lack consistency at times. I tell them to watch what they eat while I grab a bowl of ice cream for myself. I tell them to get a good nights sleep while I burn the candle at both ends.
God, may the thoughts in my heart and mind, the words of my mouth, and my actions please and honor you!
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Are you a hypocrite? Come clean. What action can you take today to end your hypocrisy?