5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

As we wrap up the year, I’m taking some time to reflect on the top posts written this year.  Today’s post is great to review.  As the weather has turned colder again, I’ve been logging more mileage on the treadmill.  I hope today’s post will STRETCH you again.  (This post was originally posted in February 2013.)

When The Treadmill Stops Suddenly – 5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

I’ve been logging running mileage again, and it feels great.  Most of my miles these days are happening on the treadmill at the gym thanks to the cold weather and early morning darkness that blankets our area at this time of the year.

The other day, I was up early running a quick 4.5 miles at our local YMCA.  I had the treadmill ramped up to 7.8 miles per hour (which for me is a pretty decent pace).  While I’m on the treadmill, I listen to podcasts and glance up at the televisions to see the latest sports highlights and news updates.  About a mile into my run as I was lost in my own world, the treadmill suddenly stopped.

Imagine driving your car at 65 miles an hour and it suddenly stops completely.  Or imagine riding your bicycle at 15 miles an hour when someone jams a stick in your spokes.

This is how it felt when the treadmill stopped for me.  I somehow managed to catch myself before a complete catastrophe occurred.  The guy running next to me commented, “Wow!  Nice catch.”  I tried to get the treadmill back up and running, but it wouldn’t power up and restart.  I switched treadmills and continued my workout.

Sometimes life is like this.  We are coasting along when something happens in our lives that brings things to a screeching halt.  It’s happened in my life a few times – like the time I crashed my car two weeks before my wedding, like when my wife was rushed to the hospital shortly after our son was born, and like the moment I learned that my grandfather had passed away six years ago.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things through life events like these.

5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

1. Hang on.  Sometimes this is all we can do.  When we don’t understand, when we don’t know the plan, we can trust God and hang on to His hand.  I remember asking during these times, “Why?”  Even in the toughest moments, we must remember that He will never leave us.
   

   “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5

2. Trust God.  In times like this, I’ve gone back to Proverbs 3:5-6 as a promise that God will make my paths straight even when life doesn’t make sense.
   

   Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Lean into family and friends.  I can’t tell you how much family and friends have meant to our family when life’s train seems to have derailed.  It helps to know that someone is praying for me, is willing to talk or listen as I wrestle through the challenges of life, and is willing to be there when I can’t fully focus on my daily needs.  If you’re missing this in your own life, I’d encourage and challenge you to seek out this kind of friendship.  Our church small group experience has provided many of these types of friendships.
4. Consider a change.  Sometimes a life stopping experience can be the catalyst to positive change in our lives.  This week, I switched treadmills.  Maybe these experiences are a call to change direction.
   

   “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

5. Learn and grow.  Life halting experiences can be life altering experiences if we take time to learn and grow.  This is why I recommend a journal or even a blog as a way to record life’s happenings.  I have learned so much through the major speed bumps of life and the blog and my journal have become great places to record and process these experiences.

I returned to the gym this morning to run more on the treadmill.  I’m sure I was a bit more cautious, but I’m ready to keep going.  I’m thankful for the reminder that a simple treadmill experience can provide.  I have no idea what the rest of the day holds, but I look ahead with confidence knowing that it will be okay no matter what transpires.

What have you learned from a life stopping experience?  What other tips do you have for handling these kinds of times?

Learner’s Permit Lessons

Parenting provides opportunities for many milestones.

I remember when Hannah was born.

I remember when Hannah came home from the hospital in her baby seat in our Toyota Corolla.

I remember when Hannah stepped onto the school bus for the first time on her way to kindergarten.

I remember when Hannah went to high school for the first day of her freshman year.

It’s important to remember these milestones.  Parenting teaches you how quickly life goes.  And these milestones are a great way to celebrate the next steps in the journey of life.  Despite the fact we’d like life to slow down a little bit, we want our children to grow up.  We want them to tackle new challenges and climb new peaks.

This week, we experienced another milestone.

Hannah got her learner’s permit on Saturday.  In Pennsylvania, you have to be at least 16 years old, you have to pass a vision test, and you have to pass a computer based driving information and safety test.  I will always remember this day.

We drove to the testing facility where she passed the test.  She was so excited!

On the way home, we stopped at the high school parking lot, and our driving lessons began.  I switched seats with Hannah.  We spent ten minutes or so going over the controls and safety features of our car.  We talked about the importance of being aware of our surroundings, of driving safely, and obeying the rules of the road.  Then we took several laps around the parking lot.  The first couple of starts and stops were a little jerky as Hannah adjusted to the sensitivity of the brake and accelerator pedals.  Then when it was obvious she was getting the hang of things, she took the car out of the parking lot and onto a road.  It was a little scary for both of us.  She proceeded up the road traveling safely below the speed limit.  And she arrived at the first stop sign where she stopped 15 feet behind the white stop line.  I can’t complain she was being extra cautious.  Next, we turned right onto the next street, and before we knew it Hannah had made a complete lap around the high school campus.  We repeated this a few more times until I felt comfortable enough to let her drive home.

I’ll confess there were times when I was clutching the passenger door handle a little tightly.  There were also a couple of times when I quickly reached over to the steering wheel to make sure she stayed of the shoulder of the road.  But all in all, it went pretty well for her first time driving with her permit.

Sunday afternoon, we went out together for another hour.  This time, Hannah had a bit more confidence (and so did I) as she eventually made her way to church and home again.

I’m sure we’ll have many more adventures like these as she continues to learn the finer points of driving.  This is an adventure and milestone I wouldn’t miss for the world.

I don’t know where you are at in the parenting journey.  Maybe you’re new to the parenting thing.  Maybe your kids have moved on to college or kids of their own.  Maybe you haven’t quite crossed the line into parenthood just yet.  Here’s something I’ve been learning along the way.  Enjoy each moment.  Remember each milestone.  Don’t rush through it to get to the next thing.  The next thing will come sooner than you can ever imagine.

Make the most of each and every opportunity – in parenting and in life.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Ephesians 5:15-16

What milestone(s) have you experienced recently?  What are you doing to cherish these moments and milestones?  What do you remember about getting your learner’s permit?

Don’t forget to sign up for the weekly Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Silence Is Golden

Is it just me, or does the world seem noisier than ever before?

There are so many things tugging to get our attention. We are distracted by all the noise. Everyone is saying “Look at me”. We throw up status updates on social media and even on blogs hoping to be heard. In most cases, we are simply adding to the noise and chaos.

In the midst of it all, we complain. “God’s not speaking to me.”

Do you think this is really true?

Or do you think it’s possible that we are doing a terrible job listening?

Maybe it’s time we turn off some of the noise.

Maybe it’s time we start being more intentional with our times of solitude.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to pursue silence. In pursuing silence, we might just start hearing God’s voice which has been speaking all along.

I don’t know about you, but I want to listen to the Voice that really matters. I want to pursue a silence that is truly golden – a silence filled with God’s voice.

What are you doing to hear the voice of God in your life? Is your life full of noise? What is one thing you can do this week to remove the noise?

Book Review: Wooden (Coach John Wooden)

A friend of mine passed along this book to me before I left for Guatemala last week.  I read through most of the book on the way to Guatemala, and I finished it up on the way home.  It’s an easy read, and it’s broken up into bite size thoughts and stories.

Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court by Coach John Wooden is a collection of stories and thoughts from the famous UCLA basketball coach.  Each story and thought point to a common sense approach to succeeding in life and leadership.  In the book, John Wooden shares how he was influenced by his parents, his teachers, his players, and his family to develop his definition of success and his overall view on life.

This is a book that I will reference again and again.  It will make a great addition to my office leadership library, and it’s a book I would recommend to anyone who wants to be successful in leadership and life.

My book is full of highlights and notes.  Wooden is a wise man who has clearly learned from life.  Here are just a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating.  Youngsters need good models more than they need critics.

By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.

Perfection is what you are striving for, but perfection is an impossibility.  However, striving for perfection is not an impossibility.  Do the best you can under the conditions that exist.  That is what counts.

Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.

As a sports fan, I appreciated the sports related stories that appear throughout the book.  As a student of life and leadership, Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court offers so much great advice and information to chew on and digest.

What is one thing that you have observed about life that deserves sharing?  Share it here!

Sign up for the weekly Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

OKC Tornadoes – 5 Ways to Deal with Life Halting Experiences

This has been a traumatic week for many in the center of our country as they’ve been faced with the reality of tornadoes that literally ripped through their lives destroying homes, schools, businesses, cars, trees, and lives.  Honestly, it is difficult to fully imagine the pain, anguish, and loss that so many in Oklahoma must be feeling this week.

My parents are finishing up an assignment at a church in Midwest City, Oklahoma which is just north of Moore, Oklahoma is located.  I talked to my Dad the other night, and he described the destruction as devastating and like nothing else he had previously experienced.  It was obvious in our conversation that the tornadoes had brought life in their area to a screeching halt.

Imagine driving your car at 65 miles an hour and it suddenly stops completely.  Or imagine riding your bicycle at 15 miles an hour when someone jams a stick in your spokes.

This is how I imagine it must have felt for so many when the tornadoes came and interrupted their lives.

Sometimes life is like this.  We are coasting along when something happens in our lives that brings things to a screeching halt.  It’s happened in my life a few times – like the time I crashed my car two weeks before my wedding, like when my wife was rushed to the hospital shortly after our son was born, and like the moment I learned that my grandfather had passed away six years ago.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things through life halting events.  Here are 5 Ways to Deal with Life Halting Experiences:

1. Hang on.  Sometimes this is all we can do.  When we don’t understand, when we don’t know the plan, we can trust God and hang on to His hand.  I remember asking during these times, “Why?”  Even in the toughest moments, we must remember that He will never leave us.
   

   “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5

2. Trust God.  In times like this, I’ve gone back to Proverbs 3:5-6 as a promise that God will make my paths straight even when life doesn’t make sense.
   

   Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Lean into family and friends.  I can’t tell you how much family and friends have meant to our family when life’s train seems to have derailed.  It helps to know that someone is praying for me, is willing to talk or listen as I wrestle through the challenges of life, and is willing to be there when I can’t fully focus on my daily needs.  If you’re missing this in your own life, I’d encourage and challenge you to seek out this kind of friendship.  Our church small group experience has provided many of these types of friendships.
4. Consider a change.  Sometimes a life stopping experience can be the catalyst to positive change in our lives.  I have no idea what this means for victims of the tornadoes.  Maybe these experiences are a call to change direction.
   

   “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

5. Learn and grow.  Life halting experiences can be life altering experiences if we take time to learn and grow.  This is why I recommend a journal or even a blog as a way to record life’s happenings.  I have learned so much through the major speed bumps of life and the blog and my journal have become great places to record and process these experiences.

For those directly impacted by this week’s events in Oklahoma recovery will be tough.  I can’t begin to imagine what these residents are going through.  To many, my thoughts will seem shallow.  It’s not my intent to belittle what those in Oklahoma have experienced.  I simply mean to point out a few things I’ve learned from life halting experiences of my own.  This I know, we can certainly pray for the victims and more importantly find ways to help out.

What have you learned from a life stopping experience?  What other tips do you have for handling these kinds of times?

When The Treadmill Stops Suddenly – 5 Tips For Handling Life Stopping Experiences

I’ve been logging running mileage again, and it feels great.  Most of my miles these days are happening on the treadmill at the gym thanks to the cold weather and early morning darkness that blankets our area at this time of the year.

The other day, I was up early running a quick 4.5 miles at our local YMCA.  I had the treadmill ramped up to 7.8 miles per hour (which for me is a pretty decent pace).  While I’m on the treadmill, I listen to podcasts and glance up at the televisions to see the latest sports highlights and news updates.  About a mile into my run as I was lost in my own world, the treadmill suddenly stopped.

Imagine driving your car at 65 miles an hour and it suddenly stops completely.  Or imagine riding your bicycle at 15 miles an hour when someone jams a stick in your spokes.

This is how it felt when the treadmill stopped for me.  I somehow managed to catch myself before a complete catastrophe occurred.  The guy running next to me commented, “Wow!  Nice catch.”  I tried to get the treadmill back up and running, but it wouldn’t power up and restart.  I switched treadmills and continued my workout.

Sometimes life is like this.  We are coasting along when something happens in our lives that brings things to a screeching halt.  It’s happened in my life a few times – like the time I crashed my car two weeks before my wedding, like when my wife was rushed to the hospital shortly after our son was born, and like the moment I learned that my grandfather had passed away six years ago.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things through life events like these.

1. Hang on.  Sometimes this is all we can do.  When we don’t understand, when we don’t know the plan, we can trust God and hang on to His hand.  I remember asking during these times, “Why?”  Even in the toughest moments, we must remember that He will never leave us.
   

   “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Joshua 1:5

2. Trust God.  In times like this, I’ve gone back to Proverbs 3:5-6 as a promise that God will make my paths straight even when life doesn’t make sense.
   

   Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

3. Lean into family and friends.  I can’t tell you how much family and friends have meant to our family when life’s train seems to have derailed.  It helps to know that someone is praying for me, is willing to talk or listen as I wrestle through the challenges of life, and is willing to be there when I can’t fully focus on my daily needs.  If you’re missing this in your own life, I’d encourage and challenge you to seek out this kind of friendship.  Our church small group experience has provided many of these types of friendships.
4. Consider a change.  Sometimes a life stopping experience can be the catalyst to positive change in our lives.  This week, I switched treadmills.  Maybe these experiences are a call to change direction.
   

   “See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

5. Learn and grow.  Life halting experiences can be life altering experiences if we take time to learn and grow.  This is why I recommend a journal or even a blog as a way to record life’s happenings.  I have learned so much through the major speed bumps of life and the blog and my journal have become great places to record and process these experiences.

I returned to the gym this morning to run more on the treadmill.  I’m sure I was a bit more cautious, but I’m ready to keep going.  I’m thankful for the reminder that a simple treadmill experience can provide.  I have no idea what the rest of the day holds, but I look ahead with confidence knowing that it will be okay no matter what transpires.

What have you learned from a life stopping experience?  What other tips do you have for handling these kinds of times?

Be Still and Know – 5 Thoughts On Finding Stillness In A Busy World

My weekday reality often feels like I’m running from one place to the next.  It often seems as though I take little time to be still.  And even when I’m sitting down or laying down to sleep, my mind is in motion.  Yet the Bible clearly calls us to be still and know that He is God.

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

Always Be Prepared – Lessons From A Smoke Alarm (Part 2)

Yesterday, I explained how a smoke detector alarm in my home reminded me of some valuable truths related to my preparation for sharing the reason for my hope (I Peter 3:15,16).  Today’s post is a follow up to my story as well as an addition to my preparation list.

After getting up at 3:45AM to the sound of the first alarm, going to the grocery store at 4AM to purchase 9 volt batteries, and replacing the batteries in all the smoke detectors in our house, the smoke alarm was still going off periodically.  Needless to say, I was beside myself.  What else could I do to resolve this annoying and disruptive noise that was filling our house at random times.

I did some research, and I discovered that it’s recommended that the smoke detectors are cleaned with compressed air or a vacuum.  Apparently, dust can get into the detector over time and cause false alarms.  Leanne and Isaac attempted to vacuum out the detector in question once everyone was awake, but the alarm still continued.  Ugh!

Finally, reading further in the instructions, it says that the detector may need to be replaced.  So at lunch yesterday, I ran over to the local hardware store and picked up a copy of smoke detectors that were compatible with our system.  When I arrived home after work, Isaac and I replaced the detector.  And I’m happy to report that we haven’t had an alarm since!

And so I’ve learned a couple more things about being prepared to give an answer for my hope:

• Research.  Besides reading the Bible (which should be the starting point and foundation for sharing your faith), there are other resources out there that might be helpful.  A couple that come to mind are Out of the Saltshaker and into the Earth (Evangelism as a Way of Life) by Rebecca Pippert, The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert E. Coleman, and Becoming a Contagious Christian by Bill Hybels.  Research also includes understanding the interests, beliefs, and perspectives of others.  There are plenty of books, blogs, and websites that can help with this task.
• Replace defective parts.  As you grow and learn, replace the things in your life that don’t work in representing Christ well.  When we become Christians, we become new creations.  The old is gone.  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come^: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

What other tips to you have for being prepared to share our hope?  What have you had to research lately?  What resources do you recommend to help others prepare to share their faith?  What is something you’ve had to replace in your life recently?

School’s Out For The Summer – Another Milestone

This morning, I’ll be going out to breakfast with my wife and kids and then I’ll be heading into the middle school for an awards assembly and celebration gathering for my daughter who will be ending her middle school career.

As I was tucking her into bed last night, Hannah confessed that she was sad that this was her last day at the school before she heads into high school in the fall. She has grown close to a great group of friends. She has enjoyed the joys and challenges brought on by her wonderful teachers. And she has especially fallen in love with the library and the library staff.

I know she’ll do fine at the next level, but I can also empathize with her feelings of sadness at the thought of leaving familiar territory and the prospect of facing the unknown. While it’s important to celebrate the past (and that’s what we’ll be doing today), it is also important to embrace the future. Just as God’s love has been evident in the past, His mercies will be new in the journey ahead.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23

So as one of our kids bids farewell to middle school today, I thank God for the promise of a new day, a new chapter, and a continued hope that lies ahead.

Hannah, I’m so proud of you, and I’m looking forward to seeing how God reveals his mercies to you in the next step of your adventure.

What milestone are you facing these days? Are you looking forward with apprehension and fear or with hope and excitement (or maybe some of both)?

Slow Down

Yesterday, in four or five conversations with different people the subject of busyness came up. The conversations went something like this:

My friend: “Hey, how are you?”

Me: “Okay, how about yourself.”

My friend: “Good, but I’ve been real busy lately.”

Me: “I hear you. I’ve been busy lately as well. It seems like I’m running from one thing to the next.”

Seriously, this conversation with minor variations was repeated several times yesterday. Why do we allow ourselves to become so busy. Do we like being busy, or do we just like the opportunity to tell others that we’re busy? In all our running around, are we making progress towards something that really matters, or are we just trying to keep up with the neighbors?

Staying busy for the sake of being busy is pointless. And even if our activities result in something good, we still need to analyze our list of activities. Are we participating in activities that match up with our gifts and passions? Are we leaving any space in our schedules for rest and reflection? Are we truly making the most of our opportunities – especially when we’re being pulled in a million different activities?

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve read a couple of blog posts and listened to a podcast or two that deal with this topic. Michael Hyatt talked about the importance of calendar triage in his blog in the past week. The FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey Podcast talked about the importance of simplifying our lives in an interview with Dr. Meg Meeker.

These are challenging messages to hear in this culture – especially in the Northeast where everyone seems so ME focused.  So how can we change this?  Here are four simple ideas that could make a huge difference in our journey to take control of our schedules:

1.  Write it down.  Take time at the beginning of each month and at the beginning of each week to write down and review the calendar.  Seeing it in front of you on a calendar will quickly show you if there are any gaps in your calendar for rest and refreshment.

2.  Prioritize and prune.  As you list out your activities and commitments, consider prioritizing them.  You may want to use a number system to assign a priority to each item on your calendar.  Going to church is a top priority in our house, so it gets a 1.  Other things might be a lower priority, so we can assign them a 2 or a 3.  As you review your calendar, consider giving up one of the lower priority activities.

3.  Schedule time for rest, refreshment, and reflection.  Seriously, block off time on your calendar.  Give this a top priority.  Don’t let something else come along and take its place.  This is something we’re still working on at home.  We have tried to make Monday night open for our date night.  This has worked most of the time; however, I must confess that the past couple of weeks we’ve let other things come in the way of this.

4.  Practice sabbath.  I was talking with my good friend, Michael Shaw, yesterday about this very subject.  Michael, who is Jewish, holds the sabbath (sun-down Friday night to sun-down Saturday night) sacred.  He literally shuts down each week during this time.  God’s command for a sabbath was not just meant for us to focus on Him, I believe it was designed to create a regular rhythm of rest in our lives.  It’s important that we find ways to practice the sabbath.

What is one thing that you need to trim off your calendar or schedule this month?  What other suggestions do you have for slowing down?