How Did 12 Years Go By So Fast?

How did 12 years go by so fast?

This is the question I asked myself as I crawled into bed last night. Twelve years ago yesterday, our lives were forever changed when our son entered this world. I remember spending that day working in the yard with our two and half year old daughter, Hannah, who was decked out in a cute watermelon themed outfit complete with a watermelon hat. As we were getting into the middle of the afternoon, Leanne suddenly came outside and indicated that we needed to get moving quickly. The baby was on the way. Little did I know how soon he would arrive. We rushed to the hospital.  And we barely made it out of the parking lot and into the hospital when Leanne’s water broke. Within an hour we were holding our 8 pound 6 ounce bundle of joy.

You would never think he was once so small when you see him now. At five and a half feet tall and just over the 100 pound mark, Isaac is rapidly becoming a young man. When we think of Isaac many things come to mind: he is talented – especially musically, he is kind, he is thoughtful, he is caring, he is funny, he is quiet, he is goofy at times, and he is a tinkerer. These are just some of the things that I think of when I think of my son.

But there is one thing that I am most proud of when it comes to Isaac. He loves God. His faith is important to him. He wants to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, Isaac is a 12 year-old boy who gets into trouble from time to time. But if you really get to know Isaac, you’ll see a kid who seeks to honor God. What more could a father ask for?

As we head into Isaac’s teenage years, I am beginning to realize that my time of influence is limited. I pray that I can have an impact on my son, and that I can help him to become the man God is calling him to become. As a father, I have the honor, the privilege, and the responsibility to intentionally teach him and lead him in his journey to manhood.

Isaac, I’ll do my best to help you. Be patient with me though, because I’m still figuring it out myself. Happy Birthday, son! I’m proud of you, and I love you, buddy.

What were you up to twelve years ago? How are you being intentional in your parenting?

Finding Balance In The Busyness of Life

Finding balance in the busyness of life can be a real challenge – especially as the kids become more and more involved in activities.

Here’s a look at our families’ after-work and after-school schedule this week:

• Monday – (besides work and school) Isaac’s piano lesson, date night
• Tuesday – vet appointment for Irwin, Hannah’s talent show practice
• Wednesday – Isaac’s Boy Scout meeting, Leanne’s MOPS meeting, Hannah’s talent show practice
• Thursday – Graduate school open house for Leanne, Isaac’s band practice for church
• Friday – Hannah’s talent show
• Saturday – Hannah’s jewelry show fundraiser for Guatemala, Walnut Street Theater show
• Sunday – church, Isaac’s piano recital

This is just a small snapshot into our lives.  As you can see, we keep busy.  Each of these things is great, but it can become too crazy when we don’t have room for margin in our schedules or when we don’t have consistency in our routine.

Families often struggle with a chaotic existence – running from activity to activity, trying to jam down a quick bite to eat, squeezing in homework, rushing to catch the bus, wrestling with work, etc.  We live this way day after day, week after week, month after month.  In this midst of this hustle and bustle, our parenting takes on a survival mentality.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could change this?

We send mixed messages to our kids when we aren’t consistent even in our schedules.  For example, if we aren’t consistent in putting our kids to bed at the same time each night, they will probably develop problems with going to bed.  If we aren’t consistent with meal times and snack times, our kids will develop unhealthy eating patterns.  Meal times will also tend towards chaotic instead of connecting.  Establishing a routine for your family helps kids develop healthy patterns for the future.

Despite the craziness of our schedule, we do try to maintain a rhythm to our weekly schedule.  This helps us stay on the same page.  Communication is also key.  We keep a calendar in our kitchen that helps us stay on top of our family commitments.  This helps to avoid over booking ourselves.  We have actually started to carve out nights for dates and family nights.  When we block these on our calendars, we show each other that our family and our marriage is important.  Other things can wait.

What specific things have you done at your home to encourage a family routine?  How do you find balance in the busyness of life?

Challenge Activity:  Work together as a couple, as a family, or individually to come up with a schedule that works for you and your family.  Be as detailed as possible.  Be sure to include things like meal times, bed times, etc.  Begin to implement the schedule before this week.

Sleepwalking

Last night, I had a strange thing happen to me.  I walked in my sleep.  I haven’t done this since I was a kid (as far as I know).  It’s an odd feeling to wake up in front of a window.  I must have been struggling to open the window in my sleep.  When I woke up, I had just opened the window.  I don’t remember walking over to the window.  I’m not even sure how I got over there.  I just know I was standing there when I woke up.  The whole thing was kind of weird!

Did you know that sleepwalking is mentioned in the Bible?

In Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul talks about sleepwalking:

You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.  So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. I Thessalonians 5:5-6 (NIV)

But friends, you’re not in the dark, so how could you be taken off guard by any of this? You’re sons of Light, daughters of Day. We live under wide open skies and know where we stand. So let’s not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let’s keep our eyes open and be smart. People sleep at night and get drunk at night. But not us! Since we’re creatures of Day, let’s act like it. Walk out into the daylight sober, dressed up in faith, love, and the hope of salvation.  I Thessalonians 5:4-8 (The Message)

What’s Paul saying here?  He’s encouraging Christ followers to be awake – to be alert.  He’s teaching us not to coast through life asleep or even drunk.  It can be easy to go with the flow.  We need to live with intention.  We need to live like it makes a difference.  We need to stop walking in our sleep.

I’m not sure why I walked in my sleep last night (other than I was pretty tired), but I know it was good to be reminded of Paul’s teaching.  It’s time to wake up!

Have you ever walked in your sleep?  Share your sleepwalking story with the rest of us.

Blank Page Pondering

Why Do I Write?

Why do I write?

This is a great question.

I’ve always had a stronger pull towards math and science.  This drove me to become an engineer.

But I must have had some writing pulsing through my veins along the way.  I made it through four years of high school honors English although this was a struggle for me as I fought to keep up with my creative and competitive classmates.  I still remember the crushing blow of my first (and only) “D” in my second marking period of honors English with Mr. Minnear.  I finished the class with a “B” thanks to lots of effort and some help from my father who majored in English literature during his undergraduate studies.

Strangely enough, I’ve been drawn to writing over the last few years.  If I’m honest, I must confess that I want to be noticed through my writing – to one day write a book and to be known as a writer.  But writing is so much more than that for me.  Writing is an outlet – a place to process my joys, my struggles, my ups and downs, my faith, my thoughts, and even the mundane aspects of life.  Through my writing, I hope to stretch myself and to stretch others along the way.  My writing helps me keep track of life as it moves along at an ever quickening pace.

This is all part of it, but there is something more.

Why do I write?

I write to honor God.  I write to bring God glory.  I write to grow closer to God.

This is why I write.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Colossians 3:17

Why do you write?

Leap of Faith

I’ve been wrestling with a decision for a while now.  The decision is a big deal for me.  I see so many reasons to go a certain direction with the decision, but I grapple with my own fears and anxiety that would keep me from going in that direction.

I’ve talked with a few people about the decision.  These are godly people whose wisdom and opinion I respect.  Each of them have encouraged me to put aside my fears and to take a leap of faith.

What is faith?

Faith is trusting in things we can’t see, in things we can’t control, and in power beyond us. Faith is about dreaming big.  Faith is believing that everything will be okay in the end even when we can’t see the way right in front of us.  Faith is being able to put aside our fears – or maybe to face our fears – and trust that God will take care of things.  Faith can help us break the paralysis of analysis inflicted by life’s anxieties.  Faith is more than just words – it’s followed by actions.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

As I was thinking about faith and about my decision, this clip from Indian Jones and The Last Crusade came to mind.  In the scene, Indiana Jones must get from one side of a chasm to the other side.  When he arrives at the edge, there’s no apparent way to get across.  Through his study of ancient literature and archaeology, Indiana Jones comes to the conclusion that the only way across the gaping pit is to take a step of faith.  This is exactly how I feel as I head into my decision.

Isn’t this a great clip?  You see, in life, we have decisions to make that require faith.  Which college should I go to and what should my major be?  Who should I marry?  Where should I live?  Where should I work?  Where should I go to church?  Should we have kids?  You get the idea.  Our lives are riddled with decisions that require faith.  We have to trust that as we step into the great unknown, God will catch us.  And that’s where I’m at with my decision.

Stay tuned for more details about my “big decision.”

What leap of faith do you need to take right now?  What’s holding you back?

Resource Review: This Is Your Life Podcast

I’m a big fan of podcasts.

I listen to them in the car.  I listen to them on the treadmill.  I listen to them when I’m taking a walk.  And I listen to them while I’m running.

Here are a few of the podcasts that I listen to on a regular basis:  The Dave Ramsey Show Podcast, EntreLeadership Podcast, Daily Audio Bible Podcast, FamilyLife Today Podcast, and The RELEVANT Podcast.  I enjoy each of these podcasts as they keep me entertained and informed.  Podcasts are a great way to keep your brain growing.

Podcasting is definitely an up and coming form of communication.  There are new podcasts popping up every day.

Recently, a blogging friend of mine started his own podcast, and I think it’s worth sharing here.  Last month, Michael Hyatt launched his own podcast called This Is Your Life.  In his podcast, Michael offers practical advice for blogging, leading, and living.  So far, he has released three “issues” of This Is Your Life, and I have listened to each of them a few times.  With each listen I’ve absorbed new ideas for my own blog, my own leadership, and my own life.

So if you’re looking for a great podcast or if you need something to listen to for your next 30 minute car ride, I’d definitely recommend downloading This Is Your Life.

What podcast do you recommend?

Say What You Need To Say

Last week, I was in the Chicago area for implementation training and brainstorming for a new company initiative.  I haven’t been out to our home office for a few years and to be honest I wasn’t crazy about leaving my wife and kids for the better part of a week.

The time at the Chicago area office went very well, but the highlight of the trip was my visit with my Grandma Stolpe.  Grandma will turn 92 in early April.  Recently, her health hasn’t been great.  Many in my family wondered if she would make it past the Christmas holidays.

It had been a few years since we last visited in person, so it was real special when I walked through the doors of the nursing home where she lives and I saw her waiting for me to arrive.  We ate dinner together in their cafeteria, and we visited for a while back in her room.  Though it had been three and a half years since or last face-to-face visit, it seemed like we just saw each other last week.

My Aunt Elaine and Uncle Max stopped by for the last hour of our visit.  We talked more and shared details about our families.  We also talked about memories and family traditions.

A few times, Grandma mentioned that she was ready for heaven whenever God decided it was time.  She expressed hope that it wouldn’t be much longer.  It was clear that she was content with the life she had lived and hopeful for the future in heaven.

I will remember a few details about this visit:  Grandma’s Bible on her nightstand, her family tree of pictures on the wall above her bed, her thoughts on the economy and politics, and her joy in spending time with me (her oldest grandson).

I don’t know when or if I will see Grandma again on this side of eternity.  As we said our goodbyes (which took a while), I hugged Grandma, and I told her I loved her.  She reciprocated as only a small 91-year-old women could with a broken arm.  She said, “I love you too, Jon.  Thank you so much for the visit.”

As I walked to my car, I sniffled a bit.  I’m not sure I’ll have that chance again.  The visit was great – and the goodbye was perfect whether it was the last or not.

Driving back to my hotel that night, I heard the song “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer.  The song talks about saying what needs to be said – not regretting holding back – making sure things are right with our loved ones and that we express our love, appreciation, and respect for each other.

I said what I needed to say.

Is everything good between you and your family and friends or is there something you need to say?

The Stretched Blog Visits The Point

Today, I’m honored to be a guest blogger at The Point, a blog by Leah Adams.  Leah writes about leaving a legacy, and she writes about grace.  Her blog is written to point people to Jesus.

On Leah’s blog today, I share my own thoughts about legacy.  Please stop by and read Stretching to Leave a Legacy.  Consider subscribing to The Point, and add The Point to your regular blog reading.

Guest Post – How To Have God’s Will For Your Life

Today, I have the honor of presenting Brandon Gilliland.  Brandon is a young leader with lots of passion and incredible talent.  He’s training to become a surgeon.  In his spare time, he plays the guitar, and he blogs about leadership, following Christ, playing the guitar, and becoming a surgeon.  Brandon currently writes at two blogs.  You can check them out here and here.  Please jump over and become one of his regular readers.

(If you’re interested in becoming a Stretched guest blogger, let me know in the comments, and I’ll get back to you.  I’m always looking for people to share their Stretching stories.)

How To Have God’s Will For Your Life

A question that encompasses many Christian’s lives is “How do I follow God’s will for my life?” I have wondered this myself many times. As a student on track to become a surgeon, I have many doubts in my mind. I commonly question myself the methods that I am going through. A few short months ago, a really questioned if this track was God’s will for my life. I sometimes still question it, but I am starting to discover that becoming a surgeon is what God desires for me to do with my life. It is a lot of work, but if it is God’s will for my life, He will give me the strength and the necessary opportunities that will ultimately allow me to become a surgeon.

Like I said earlier, there were a few moments when I was not sure what God’s will for my life entailed (on the career side of things). As Christians, we should desire to stay in God’s will for our lives. If we are truly following Christ, we should have the desire to please and serve Him.

If we are always questioning if what we are doing is God’s will, then how can we serve Him to our absolute best ability? The answer is rather simple: focus on God. This is easy to say, but it is not easy to live out on a daily basis. There are a few things that I have to remind myself of all the time to be able to be assured that I am living God’s will for my life.

Pray

First off, prayer is important. If prayer is not an important part of your life, you can be certain that you are not in God’s will. If you are not on the same wavelength as God, you are not going to make the decisions that He wants you to make.

“Pray without ceasing…”

-1 Thessalonians 5:17

Keep the Main Goal in Mind

After prayer is an important part of your life, you need to keep the main goal in mind. Obviously, this goal can not be set properly without consulting God first. When you believe that God has revealed to you a certain goal after you have prayed about it, you can begin to focus on that goal. Go can desire something else, but you can have the right thought pattern. That leads us to the next point…

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”

-Colossians 3:2

Focus on the Small Things

Ultimately, it is essential to know God’s main goal, but it is not beneficial to focus entirely on it. If you focus too much on the main goal, you can begin to drift. Instead, it is important to focus on the small tasks that lead to the ultimate goal. This method insures that you can follow God’s will. If you are doing everything that God wants you to do at every moment, you can be 100% sure that you are in God’s will for your life.

That is the problem though. We do not always pray. We do not always focus on God. We are not always on God’s wavelength.

This is the reason why we can stray from God’s will. He desires so much more for us, but sometimes we give up on the blessings He has for us.

What do you need to follow God’s will on?