No Regrets

“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.”  C.S. Lewis

What do you regret?

We’ve all done things we regret.

To get you thinking, here are four different kinds of regrets.

• Foot in the mouth regrets.  I can’t tell you how many things I’ve said something I regret.  It’s not that I like the taste of show leather.  It’s just that I don’t always think before I speak.
• Lack of words or action regrets.  How many times have I kept my mouth shut when I should have spoken up?  This happens when I don’t speak up or stand up for someone or something when I could have made a difference.
• Bearer of bad news regrets.  This is typically started with a phrase like, “I regret to inform you that….”  This is a regret that we are in a position of responsibility to share difficult news.
• Regrets from sinfulness or poor decisions.  We’ve all done something that’s wrong.  We’ve lied.  We’ve stolen something.  We’ve cut someone down physically or verbally.  When we come to the realization that we did something wrong, we are left with regret, embarrassment, and the consequences of our actions.

We’re all human.  We all deal with regret.

Dwelling on our regrets leaves us in a position of hopelessness.  When we stay in the land of regrets, we fail to grow, we get depressed, and we demonstrate a lack of faith in God.

I don’t know what you have in your past.  I don’t know what you’ve done (or not done) that leaves you with regret.

It’s time to move forward.  You need to know that God still loves you – even when you mess up.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

How do you move forward after doing something you regret?

3 Essentials For Times When Life Doesn’t Make Sense

I’ve been staring at a blank page for a while.

I’m struggling to find the words for today’s post.

Do you ever struggle to find the right words?

Yesterday brought a reminder that life doesn’t always make sense.

Have you ever felt like life doesn’t make sense?

Here’s all I could come up with.

3 Essentials For Times When Life Doesn’t Make Sense

1. Trust God.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge Him in all you do, and He will make you paths straight.”  I think this is a good reminder that our understanding isn’t the answer.  We need to trust God.  In God and His Word lies ultimate truth.
2. Pray.  I think we sometimes overlook the power of prayer.  Prayer may not bring all the answers, but it’s a great place to start.
3. Lean on friends.  When life gets crazy, it’s so important to lean on friends.  Friends will carry you when you can’t carry on.  Friends want what is best for you.  Friends may not always be able to provide clarity, but they are great for listening.

What do you do when life doesn’t make sense?

Laryngitis Lessons

I started to lose my voice on Sunday night, and it continued to get worse yesterday at work.  By the time I arrived home, I could only squeak out a few words.  I had lost my voice.

The voice is a powerful thing.

Our voices let others know we are here.  Our voices tell others about us.  And our voices help us stand up for what we believe.

Many of us use our voices to promote worthy causes.  We proclaim to others the things that matter most to us.

There are many people in the world who don’t have a voice.  Sure they can speak, but they are not heard.  They do not have the power to standup for what they need, what they deserve, and for what they believe in.  How can this be in a world and time when everyone is supposed to have something to say?  How is it that people’s voices are muffled?  Why is it that people are shut down because they are poor or fatherless or without a husband?

It makes me sad to think that people do not have a voice.

And the sad thing is that many people who call themselves Christians stand by and let it continue.  We allow injustice.  We don’t stand up for those who can’t stand for themselves.  This is so contrary to the teachings in the New Testament.  In the book of James, we are taught about religion that is true.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27

As Christ followers we have a responsibility and a privilege to look after those who don’t have a voice.  You personally can be the voice for someone in need.  Don’t sit on the sidelines.  Don’t settle for your comfortable existence.  Stand up.  Be a voice.  Take action today.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.  Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.  Psalms 116:1-2

Hopefully, my voice will come back in the next day or two.  It makes life so much easier.

How can you be the voice for someone today?

Help Me Pick A Book Cover Design

I’m working on finalizing an eBook which I hope to release later this month.  I’d love to get your help in selecting a cover for the book.  I’ve put together four designs for your consideration.  The book is called On Track – Life Lessons From The Track & Field.  Could you do me a HUGE favor and vote on the design you most like?  Also, in the comments let me know what you think.  Should I go back to the drawing board?  Am I on the right “track”?  What do you like about the design you selected?  What would you change?

Number 1

Number 2

Number 3

Number 4

7 Ways To Get Unstuck

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck?

You keep doing the same things over and over again.  You get up, you go to work, you come home, and you go to bed.  The next day you repeat the cycle.  Over and over again, the cycle repeats.  It’s as if you are stuck on the merry-go-round of life.  Will it ever stop?  Will the horse you are riding on ever dislodge from the carousel allowing you to explore new territory?  Will you ever get out of the rut you’re in?

We’ve all faced this feeling at one time or another.  While routine is good, I don’t think we were meant to feel stuck.  I believe we are meant to feel excitement for life.  If you feel like your stuck in a rut, here are some ideas to help you break free.

7 Ways To Get Unstuck

1. Change up your routine.  This may sound crazy coming from a guy who thrives on routine.  But here’s the reality.  When we feel stuck in a rut, it can be helpful to do things differently.  If you’re struggling to get things done, try getting up 15 minutes earlier than normal.  On the other hand, if you’re really tired, give yourself permission to sleep in an extra 15 or 30 minutes.  Drive a different way to work.  Eat lunch in a different spot.  You get the idea.  Sometimes you need to change your routine just a little bit in order to break out of the feeling of being stuck.
2. Take time to breath.  When we feel stuck, it’s often because we haven’t given ourselves time to rest.  Most of the time, I wolf down my lunch and get back to work at my desk.  Yesterday, I did something different.  After I ate my lunch, I grabbed a book and walked out to my car where I read for 15 to 20 minutes.  I came back into the office feeling refreshed and ready to face the afternoon of work.
3. Lean into other people.  When we isolate ourselves from others, it can become more and more challenging to get out of the stuck feeling.  We need people in our lives who can bring new perspectives to us – who can be a sounding board when we’re facing the monotony of life.  Who are the few people who know the true condition of your heart and mind?  You and I need people in our lives who can speak truth and can lift us up when we’re down.
4. Try something new.  This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.  Maybe you need to sign up for your first 5K.  Maybe you need to write your first blog post.  Maybe you need to try out a new restaurant or a new recipe.  Trying new things can inspire us to break free from the ruts of life.
5. Count your blessings.  Take time to list out all the great things about your life.  When we list out our blessings, we can begin to see how great it is to be right where we are.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.  The reality is we actually have it pretty good most of the time – even when we feel like we’re stuck.
6. Change directions completely.  I don’t necessarily recommend this to everyone; however, there may be times where we need to completely switch it up.  Maybe you need a new job.  Maybe you need a new location.  You’ll have to put some effort into this.  You might have to send out your resume, or you might have to move across the country.
7. Trust in God.  Regardless of your situation, you must put your trust in God.  Proverbs 3:5-6 is my go to verse for times when I feel stuck or worried about life.  It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  I love The Message translation of this passage:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)

Are you stuck?  What helps you get unstuck?  What suggestion(s) would you add to the list above?

5 Suggestions For Handling Disruptions To Your Routine (#2 Is My Favorite)

I’ve been challenged this week to keep up with my routines.  Coming back from a weekend away where sleep came at a premium, I have been somewhat slow in getting back to my exercise routine.  The past several weeks (since well before Christmas), I have run 30 miles per week.  This requires me to run 4-6 days per week.  So far, I haven’t made it to the gym or to the trail this week.  If all goes well, I’ll be back at the gym on the treadmill early this morning.  It will certainly be a challenge to meet my weekly mileage target this week.  And I’m okay with it.

Do you know why I’m okay with missing my mileage goal this week?

I need a break.

From time to time, we need to take a break.  Our goals cannot become our idols.  As a very disciplined, goal-oriented person, it’s easy for me to let my targets or resolutions become a god.  I want to accomplish the things I said I was going to accomplish.  I want to achieve – or even over achieve.  But sometimes, I need to stop.  I need to take time to rest, to re-evaluate, and to be restored.

So how do I get back on track with my reaching my targets?

Here are 5 suggestions for handling disruptions to your routine.

5 Suggestions For Handling Disruptions To Your Routine

1. Recognize the disruption to your routine.  In my case, a youth conference (PCTC) interrupted my routine.  This was an important event in my weekend plans.  I didn’t plan to have my routine disrupted, but it happened.  When the wheels come off of your routine, it’s important to understand why.  It could be any number of reasons – a family emergency, a surprise visit from a friend, a big project deadline.  Understanding the why of your routine disruption is critical to accepting the disruption.
2. Embrace the disruption to your routine.  I’ve been going strong for several weeks without a break.  I probably needed a break from my running routine.  A disruption in our routine can provide rest and a new outlook on things.  Learn to embrace the disruption and to enjoy the time away from your routine.
3. Reevaluate your routines.  I intend on getting back on track with my running routine next week.  I have running goals for the year.  Besides this, I believe my running helps provide balance for thriving and coping with the rest of my life.  If your routine has been disrupted, I recommend using the time of disruption to analyze your priorities.  Does this routine need to be altered somewhat to be more realistic?  Or does it need to be erased all together?  Why is this routine important to keep?  Should you be focusing on something else instead?  These are all questions worth considering when your routine is disrupted.
4. Get back on the horse as soon as possible.  For me a few days off from running has been healthy, but I’m ready to get going again.  The sooner I get back on track, the sooner the other parts of my life will feel balanced.  Honestly, I’ve missed running the past four or five days.  Running gives me an opportunity to think and to be active.  If you have healthy, balanced routines, it’s important to get back into the swing of things as soon as you can.  The longer you wait to get back into your routine, the harder it will be to get moving again.
5. Give yourself grace.  Sometimes it takes a little while to settle back into a routine.  Maybe you need to start slowly and add more things back into the routine as the days unfold.  There’s a tendency to want to get right back to where you left off.  For me, it would be easy for me to try to get 9 or 10 miles in this morning.  While this is possible, I must recognize the importance of returning to my routine gradually.  A gradual increase in mileage back up to my regular running regimen will prevent me from growing tired or getting injured.  It will also ensure I get back to my weekly target as quickly as possible.

How do you handle disruptions to your routines?  How are you doing with your New Year’s goals?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

This post is stupid.

Wait!

What I mean, this post is all about how to respond when our words or actions are stupid.

We all do stupid things.

We do things we regret – things we’d like to take back.

We have all said something dumb.  Once we say it, we want to catch our words and stuff them back into our mouths.

We’ve even done something really ugly.  We’d like to go back in time and delete a scene from our life reel.  But it’s not that easy.

If you are a college basketball fan, you may have heard about the stupid words and actions of a Texas Tech fan and an Oklahoma State basketball star.  If you missed it, Marcus Smart of Oklahoma State pushed a Texas Tech fan after words were exchanged between the two in the stands at a recent game.

I’m pretty sure, they would both like to take back there words and actions.

I don’t know all the details, but from what I’ve seen both Smart and the fan have responded pretty well since the initial incident of stupidity.

So what can we learn from the Marcus Smart incident?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

1. Stupid happens.  We all do and say dumb things.  We let our emotions get the best of us.  Stupid will happen to you again at some point.
2. An apology is the best place to start.  When you do or say something stupid, be an adult.  An adult apologizes.  If you offended someone, you need to apologize.  Here’s the deal with apologies – your apology should be real, and it shouldn’t be full of excuses.  One of the things I like about Marcus Smart’s apology speech is that he did not make excuses.  He could have said, “I apologize, but he called me a ________.”  Everything before the “but” is garbage.  When you apologize, focus on your side of the mistake, and don’t focus on how you were offended.
3. Take your punishment like a man.  Before the punishment was even determined, Marcus Smart indicated he would accept whatever punishment the NCAA and Oklahoma State gave him.  As it turns out, he was suspended for three games for his role in this incident.  Your stupid action may not get the attention of the NCAA, but it probably has some consequences.  Don’t complain about the consequences.  Deal with it.
4. Learn to laugh at yourself.  Sometimes you just have to shake your head and chuckle at yourself for your stupid words and actions.  Taking yourself a little less serious is a great way to get through your personal stupidity.
5. Learn from your stupidity.  If you said something or did something stupid, try not to do it again.  You should have learned your lesson the first time.  Only time will tell if Marcus Smart and the Texas Tech fan learned their lesson.  Hopefully, they did!

How do you respond to your own stupidity?  What additional tips to you have for others who have said or done something stupid?

Junk In The Trunk

We all have junk in the trunk.

We all have baggage from our past.  This baggage weighs us down.  It influences our decisions and interactions moving forward.

Over the weekend, Leanne and I visited the Walnut Street Theater in Philadelphia, PA.  Right now, they are featuring Other Desert Cities, a play written by Jon Robin Baitz.  The play tells the story of the Wyeth family (a daughter, a son, a mom, a dad, and an aunt) as they deal with junk in their trunk.

I really did not have any expectations as I went to the play.  Other Desert Cities was simply the third show in the five show season we are currently enjoying as subscribers to the Walnut Street Theater, and I was looking forward to a night out with my wife.

The play left me thinking quite a bit.  The daughter in the play (Brooke Wyeth) comes home to Palm Springs, CA to spend Christmas with her family.  She brings a couple of copies of the manuscript for a book she is getting ready to publish about her family.  The manuscript reveals some dark details about her brother and his death.  It exposes some deep, dark secrets her politically connected parents would rather keep quiet.  The play which takes place in the living room of the Wyeth home is the dialogue which happens around Brooke’s manuscript.  The parents don’t want it published.  And we find out there is more to this story than initially meets the eye.  Many aspects of this play hit a little too close to home.

Other Desert Cities reminded me there is more to the story than meets the eye.  We are all coming at life from a slightly different angle.  We have baggage.  We have experienced things differently than those around us.  We react differently because of different life experiences.  Before we jump to conclusions, it’s important to listen to the stories of others.

Sharing our junk with other people takes courage, wisdom, and trust.  We need courage to expose ourselves.  We need wisdom to know how much to share and with whom to share it.  And we need to trust those who hear about our junk will respond appropriately.

There is power in sharing our junk to help others.  The play reminded me how common my junk is.  When people share their junk, they give others a sense of belonging, and they provide a sense of hope.  By sharing your junk, you have the opportunity to give someone hope and a new perspective.

There is freedom which comes from sharing our junk.  When we share our junk, we are no longer carrying it by ourselves.  There are others to help us along the way.  This can provide tremendous freedom.  One word of advice here…not all junk should be shared openly.  Confidential counseling is a great place to release some of your junk.  A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, I sought out the confidence of a paid, professional counselor.  This was really helpful in helping me process what I was experiencing.

I’m not sure what junk is in your trunk.  But I would encourage you to share it with someone.

How have you dealt with the junk in your trunk?  How has it helped you and others to share your junk?

Book Review: LIFE after ART by Matt Appling (@MattTCoNP)

When was the last time you took an art class?

When was the last time you were in an art room (besides at meet the teacher night for your kids)?

When was the last time you created something beautiful?

When we become adults, we often put things aside.  We now have responsibilities.  We have “important” things to accomplish.  We don’t have time to play.  We have to work.  We have to make money.  We have to provide.

When we grow up, we leave the art room, and we stop creating beautiful things.

In Life After Art: What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room, Matt Appling challenges readers to become artist’s again.  Matt, who is an art teacher in Missouri, takes readers back into the elementary school art room.  He reminds us how creative we once were when we were young.  From here, Matt goes on to describe how society is suffering from an epidemic of lost creativity.  He then takes readers through the process of relearning to create, to take risks, and to be artists again.

I appreciated the perspective Matt brings to this book.  An an engineer and operations manager for the past 20 years, I recognize the tendency to fall into a state of complacency.  I do the same things day after day.  It becomes easy to stop thinking and to stop creating things of beauty.  Personally, my writing has become a place for me to create again.  I may never be the next Monet or Van Gogh.  I may never become the next C.S. Lewis or J.R.R. Tolkien.  But I can create something beautiful.  Thanks for the reminder, Matt!

To learn more about Matt, check out his blog or follow him on Twitter.

This month, I’m giving away a copy of Life After Art: What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room to someone in the Stretched Community.  To be considered for the giveaway, you must be one of the top 10 commenters during the month of February.  If you don’t want to wait for the winner to be announced, feel free to pickup a copy of the book by clicking here.

What is the last thing you created?  What was your favorite thing about elementary school art class?

(Please note:  There are affiliate links in this post.  Should you purchase Life After Art by clicking one of these links, I receive a small percentage of the purchase.  These funds are used to support The Stretched Blog and to extend ministry and missions to Guatemala.  Thank you!)

(Special thanks to Tammy Helfrich who sent me a copy of this book.  You should consider reading her blog and listening to her podcast.)

8 Ways To Survive And Thrive When Things Get Busy

“Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to.”  Rob Bell

Our family is in the middle of a very busy week.  We have activities every night this week.  And work is just as busy.  We’re closing out the month of January this week, so I’m chasing down invoices, time sheets, and project close out activities.  It’s weeks like this that cause my head to spin.

If you’re anything like me, you have weeks like this too.

What do you do when the weeks get crazy busy?

I’ve found several things that help me survive and thrive when the weeks get crazy busy.  Here are my suggestions.

8 Ways To Survive And Thrive When Things Get Busy

1. Start each day with prayer and time with God.  This is where it has to start.  Even if you can spend 15 to 30 minutes of quiet time at the start of your day, it will be worth it.  This is the time to focus your day in the right place.  When I jump right out of bed and into the fray without spending time to pray, read God’s word, and reflect, it often feels like I’m wheel spinning out of balance.
2. Find ways to exercise regularly throughout the week.  For me, this is the next part of my day.  Even when I’m busy, I try to exercise 5 or 6 days a week.  Raising your heart rate for 20-30 minutes through running, hiking, biking, swimming, or brisk walking can make a huge difference.  I’ve found that regular exercise helps to get my metabolism off and running, and it helps me stay alert through meetings and conversations when I really need to pay attention.
3. Make the most of the small moments in between.  It can seem really hectic when you’re running from one meeting to the next or one activity to the next.  Being intentional in the in between is important to getting things done.  Last night when I arrived home from work, I had a few minutes before dinner.  I used this time to replace a flood light above our garage.  It took me a few minutes to get the extension ladder, and I another minute to climb up the ladder to replace the bulb.  This is a task that needed to be accomplished.  Those precious minutes before dinner were provided just enough time to check this off my list of things to do.
4. Connect with your family.  This probably should be number 2 on the list.  If you’re married, pray with your spouse at the beginning and at the end of the day.  Connect when you both get home from work for a few minutes.  I don’t always get this right, but it’s important to remove distractions for a few minutes to give your spouse or kids your undivided attention.  For your kids, it might mean playing a game of ping-pong before you leave for an activity or before they start the next part of their homework.  Connecting with your family is a huge part of finding balance in the midst of a crazy busy week.
5. Don’t be afraid to say no.  I realize we’ve all made commitments to be part of one meeting or an activity.  There may be times where we have to cancel something or postpone it, so we can take time to catch our breath.  It will be okay.  Really!
6. Remember why you are involved with the activities or meetings in the first place.  When things get busy, it’s easy to lose sight of why we do what we do.  This can happen at work, but it can also happen at the evening game or meeting.
7. Learn from your scheduling mistakes.  Sometimes a busy week is impossible to avoid, but there are also times when we simply don’t schedule ourselves very well.  Build gaps into your schedule.  You need breaks.  You need opportunities to catch up on the little things.
8. Practice sabbath.  Take a one minute break every hour.  Take an hour break every day.  Take a day break every week.  You need time to rest, to connect, and to be restored.

It’s only Tuesday, I’m not sure exactly how the rest of my week will go.  But I do know that following these simple tips will help me though my crazy busy week.

What kind of week are you having?  What helps your survive when the days and weeks get crazy busy?