The Stretched Blog Visits The Daily ReTort

Today, I’m guest posting as part of The Network for Tor Constantino at his blog, The Daily ReTort.  In my post (5 Reasons To Go On A Missions Trip With Your Family), I share some thoughts about faith, family, and missions.  Here’s an excerpt to get you started.

5 Reasons To Go On A Missions Trip With Your Family

Early this month, our family traveled to Guatemala to serve the orphans and widows in and around the village of Santo Domingo Xenacoj.

Deciding to go in the first place was a pretty significant leap of faith.

• As a father and husband, did I think we would be safe in a strange land removed from many of the luxuries we currently enjoy? 
• Did I really want to spend my vacation time working instead of relaxing somewhere? 
• How were we going to come up with the money necessary to make this trip a reality?

These were just some of the questions that troubled me for weeks as we processed this decision last fall.

Having arrived at the other side of this mission trip, I can tell you that we made it.  We were safe.  The vacation time from work was well spent.  And God provided the funds for this trip in ways that far exceeded our greatest expectations.  (Click here to keep reading.)

If you’re visiting from Tor’s blog, I’m glad you stopped by.  I hope you’ll check things out and become a regular part of The Stretched Community.  You can sign up to receive daily blog updates by adding your e-mail on the main page (I promise not to send you spam).  To help you get a taste of my other writing, here are a few of my favorite posts:

• Leap of Faith
• Less Like Scars
• Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know
• The Power of the Next Question
• How To Respond To The Election Results

You can also click here to link to more about my experiences in Guatemala.

Have you ever taken a mission trip with your family?  If so, how did it impact your family? What’s holding you back from going on a mission trip?

Stretching To The Finish

During our vacation to the Midwest, we had an opportunity to visit my Grandma (I’ve written about her before – click here.)

It wasn’t a very long visit.  I think we were at the nursing home where she lives for a little more than two hours.  When we came into her room, she immediately knew who we were.  She mentioned my name and our kids names, and she had to ask for a little help with Leanne’s name (although it was clear that she knew who she was).

If you remember, Grandma is 93 years old.  Physically, she’s been struggling for many years thanks to the pain of arthritis, Parkinson’s disease, and a broken arm.  Only in the last few years has she started to fail mentally.  Grandma was always the sharpest person in the family.  She could remember details better than anyone else in the family about people, places, and things from the past.  She skipped two grades in school.  Needless to say, this has been the hardest part of the aging process for her and for the rest of the family.  She simply can’t keep all the details of life straight in her head any longer.

All in all, it was a pretty good visit with Grandma.  While the staff at the nursing home indicated that she wasn’t having the greatest day, she seemed to be doing pretty well compared to my visit with Grandma a month ago.

There is the moment during our visit that I will always remember.

Grandma and Grandpa always had a strong faith.  I remember doing a morning devotion with them and praying for missionaries and people groups from around the world.  As we were getting ready to leave, Leanne suggested that we pray.  I prayed first and somewhat expected that to be it, but Grandma picked up right where I left off.  Her prayer was powerful.  Despite her physical and mental ailments, she clearly is in great shape spiritually.

Grandma’s prayer and our visit was a great reminder that God isn’t through with us.  While Grandma would prefer to be in heaven with Grandpa and God, she continues to demonstrate a growing faith.  It’s easy to think that we’ve arrived – that we’ve grown as much as we possibly can physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Grandma reminded me that spiritual growth is a journey that continues throughout our lives.

I don’t have any idea how long I will live.  I could live until 50, until 75, or even until 100.  I want to be remembered as someone who continues to STRETCH and grow.  I want to grow physically (not in size), and I want to continue to grow mentally.  But most of all I want to STRETCH and grow spiritually.

May our journeys through life be marked by spiritual STRETCHING!  May our faith be a testament to those around us and to those who come behind us.  Thank you, Grandma, for your STRETCHING example!

Who in your life has reminded you to keep on STRETCHING?  Who in your life has faith that moves mountains?

Visiting Grandma

Last night, I had the honor and blessing of visiting Grandma in Illinois.

My grandmother turned 93 years old in April.  I wrote about our last visit in a previous post.  She’s definitely a special woman.

Her health has continued to slip, and her memory is failing which is frustrating for someone who skipped to grades of school and is often referred to as the family genius.

When I arrived at her home (which is now a nursing home), the entire residence was in the middle of a tornado warning.  All the residents were lined up in the hallway in their wheelchairs with the doors closed to their rooms.  It appeared that they were getting ready for some type of wheelchair NASCAR race.  As I rounded the corner into the hallway, I was initially concerned that I might have trouble finding Grandma.  But I quickly found her lined up with the other residents eating a “Blackhawk” cookie.  (The Stanley Cup Finals started last night, and they were giving the residents “Blackhawk” cookies to help them celebrate the home team – the Chicago Blackhawks.)

She kind of smiled at me as we started to talk.  I asked her how she was doing, and I explained that I was in town for a business trip to my company’s home office.  After talking for a few minutes, she looked up at me and asked:  “What’s your name?”  The more recent year’s have clearly been unkind to Grandma’s memory.  Once I told her that I was her grandson, Jon, she seemed to spring to life as she pulled some information from the murky corridors of her brain.

Eventually, the tornado warning let up, and we went into her room where we could sit and talk.  We talked about Swedish Christmas food and about our family which is now spread from Guam to Pennsylvania and from Texas to Wisconsin.  We talked about Grandpa who passed away over six years ago and about the church where my grandparents used to be so active.  Some of the details came out clear and some were a bit cloudy.  Despite some of the confusion, it was amazing to me to see Grandma’s faith which has remained steadfast through the ups and downs of life and through the current physical and mental failings that seem to accelerate in more recent years.

Grandma has a hope for heaven.  She has a clear confidence in God.  She prays for her family – especially that they would follow Jesus.  Above her bed, she has a photo family tree that allows her to show off her two kids, seven grandchildren, and fifteen great-grandchildren (if I did the math correctly).  This photo collage also serves as her reminder to pray for each one of us.

Our visit contained laughs, smiles, some silent moments, and even a couple of tears.  As I left to return to my hotel, I told Grandma that I loved her, and I explained that I would see her next month when our family makes a swing through the Midwest on our vacation.  I’m not sure if she’ll remember our visit.  And I guess it doesn’t really matter.  For a couple of hours last night, I hope I brightened her day.  I know she brightened mine.

What is special about your grandma?

Book Review: When Work & Family Collide (@AndyStanley)

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to sit in the Philadelphia International Airport for several hours waiting to catch a plane to Chicago.  My plane was delayed for more than 3 hours, and the flight itself was close to 2 hours.  This gave me plenty of time to catch up on podcast episodes and reading.

I read Andy Stanley’s book, When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family.  It’s ironic that I would read this book while I was heading away from my family on a business trip.  The book is all about keeping your priorities straight especially when it comes to family.

Whether you struggle with this issue just a little bit or a lot, this is a great book for men and women alike.  It provides examples and analogies of lives in balance and out of balance, and it provides solid Biblical teaching that helps someone bring proper order to their lives.

I especially like the author’s quote:

You do your job.  You love your family.  It’s when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins.

In other words, we get it all messed up when we love our job and do the family thing.  It’s easy to do.  We get stuck in unhealthy patterns of seeking approval and pursuing success through our careers, and we permit our family life to suffer.  I’m guilty of it at times, and I would guess that many of you struggle with this tension as well from time to time.

When Work and Family Collide: Keeping Your Job from Cheating Your Family is a quick and easy read, and I would recommend it to moms, dads, husbands, and wives everywhere.

How’s your family life?  How’s your work life?  What is one thing you can do this week to make sure your family knows that they are the priority?

I received this book as a gift from Chris Patton.  He writes a great blog about Christians in the workplace – Christian Faith At Work.  Go check it out, and tell him I said hello!

Say What You Need To Say

Last year at this time, I was in the Chicago area for implementation training and brainstorming for a new company initiative. I haven’t been out to our home office for a few years and to be honest I wasn’t crazy about leaving my wife and kids for the better part of a week.

The time at the Chicago area office went very well, but the highlight of the trip was my visit with my Grandma Stolpe. Grandma will turn 93 in early April. The last few years, her health hasn’t been great. Many in my family wondered if she would make it past the Christmas holidays.

It had been a few years since we last visited in person, so it was real special when I walked through the doors of the nursing home where she lives and I saw her waiting for me to arrive. We ate dinner together in their cafeteria, and we visited for a while back in her room. Though it had been three and a half years since our last face-to-face visit, it seemed like we just saw each other last week.

My Aunt Elaine and Uncle Max stopped by for the last hour of our visit. We talked more and shared details about our families. We also talked about memories and family traditions.

A few times, Grandma mentioned that she was ready for heaven whenever God decided it was time. She expressed hope that it wouldn’t be much longer. It was clear that she was content with the life she had lived and hopeful for the future in heaven.

I will remember a few details about this visit: Grandma’s Bible on her nightstand, her family tree of pictures on the wall above her bed, her thoughts on the economy and politics, and her joy in spending time with me (her oldest grandson).

I don’t know when or if I will see Grandma again on this side of eternity. As we said our goodbyes (which took a while), I hugged Grandma, and I told her I loved her. She reciprocated as only a small 91-year-old women could with a broken arm. She said, “I love you too, Jon. Thank you so much for the visit.”

As I walked to my car, I sniffled a bit. I’m not sure I’ll have that chance again. The visit was great – and the goodbye was perfect whether it was the last or not.

Driving back to my hotel that night, I heard the song “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer. The song talks about saying what needs to be said – not regretting holding back – making sure things are right with our loved ones and that we express our love, appreciation, and respect for each other.

I said what I needed to say.

Is everything good between you and your family and friends or is there something you need to say?  What do you need to say?  To whom do you need to say it?

The Advent Box

Our family is trying something new this year in preparation for Christmas.  We are celebrating advent with an advent box.  Each day leading up to Christmas starting with December 1st, the kids open the box which reveals a clue for something special.

Sometimes the special is simple and sometimes it’s elaborate.  Sometimes it’s short and sometimes it takes a longer period of time.

The main focus of the advent box and the daily advent clue is to help us be more intentional in our family time as we go through this season.  Generally, our family is on the go all the time with different activities and responsibilities.  In some ways, the Christmas season can make it worse as we add holiday concerts, parties, and other responsibilities to our already hectic schedule.

The advent box has forced us to slow down.  There are times when ten intentional minutes in the evening can make all the difference in the day.  So what are some of the things we’ve been doing as part of the advent box?  Here’s a list of what we’ve done so far:

• December 1st – Evening in Philadelphia (dinner at Marrakesh and The Music Man at the Walnut Street Theater)
• December 2nd – Hot Cocoa and Tea with Christmas Memories
• December 3rd – Just Dance
• December 4th – Candy Canes
• December 5th – Dinner with Jim Brickman
• December 6th – Dessert following Isaac’s Winter Concert
• December 7th – A Christmas Movie – It’s A Wonderful Life
• December 8th – A visit to the Christmas Tree farm to pick out a tree
• December 9th – Putting ornaments up on the tree
• December 10th – Setting up our family’s nativity

(I can’t tell you the other items yet as I don’t want to give they away to my daughter who has become a regular reader of The Stretched Blog.)

The Advent Box is a chance to be intentional.  It’s an opportunity to help put our holiday into perspective.  And it’s a time to spend with family.  May you find time to be intentional, to gain perspective, and to be with family through this Christmas season.

How are you preparing for Christmas?  Do you have any fun and intentional family traditions that help bring perspective and meaning to the Christmas season?  Share them with The Stretched Community by leaving a comment.

Be Intentional TODAY – (How Did 15 Years Go So Fast?)

15 years goes by so fast!

Yesterday, we celebrated Hannah’s 15th birthday.  She was able to relax at home thanks to a day off from school.  To celebrate, we went out for dinner to an Asian restaurant nearby and for dessert at Dairy Queen.  When we arrived home we watched home movies for a while.  We watched Hannah as she could barely roll over.  We watched her dedication service.  And we watched her during her first year as a big sister.

Through the videos, I was reminded that Hannah has a double portion of grace.  Hannah means gracious, and her middle name is Grace.  I was reminded that Hannah has always had a fairly calm and steady personality.  Even as a baby, she was pretty content much of the time.  I was reminded that she is a leader.  I get to see that more now, but it was obvious through the videos that this quality was already developing when Hannah was three years old as she directed her brother around the house.

It’s hard to believe that Hannah has moved into high school this year.  It’s crazy to imagine that she could start driving with a permit in a year.  And it’s unbelievable to think that she will be looking at colleges before long.  We try to plan appropriately for upcoming events and changes, but I’ve also learned that it’s important not to get too wrapped up in the worries of the future.  We need to make the most of the current opportunities that we are experiencing.

One of my favorite verses come from Ephesians:

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Ephesians 5:15-16

This verse is about the urgency of the message we have to proclaim about Jesus Christ.  We certainly need to make the most of every opportunity we have to share our faith with those who are far from God.  We need to be wise in how we live, so we set the best example and point people in the right direction.

I think this verse also applies to our relationships with our friends and family.  It’s easy to let the busyness of life hijack our time with our kids.  We can get so busy running from one activity to the next or trying to climb the corporate ladder that we forget to be intentional with the moments we have in the present.  Before we know it, our kids are teenagers.

These 15 years have gone by quickly, and I’m sure the next 15 will seem like a blur as well.  I want to make the most of every opportunity.

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!  Thanks for changing our lives forever.

What are you doing today?  How will you be intentional with the time you have today with family and friends?

How To Celebrate Thanksgiving – 5 Ideas To Transform Your Holiday

November has been designated as the month for thanksgiving thanks to the holiday that falls towards the end of the month.  While I’d love to see thanksgiving be better represented the rest of the year, I can also tell you that our family probably concentrates more on giving thanks during this month than other months in the year.  (Note:  The picture above was taken this April at the Thanksgiving Square Chapel in Dallas, TX.)

Here is a list of several ideas which could help enhance your Thanksgiving experience.

1. Run or walk at a Turkey Trot.Last year, I did the Thanksgiving Marathon in NYC which might be considered a little overboard.  Why not get out and run or walk a community 5K?  Many towns across the country have started their own Turkey Trot.  My wife and kids have run one in Latrobe, PA several times.  The races are always fun, and it makes the turkey taste so much better later that day.
2. Invite someone over for dinner.  My guess is that you live near someone who is missing out on family.  They are lonely, and they may not have to means to prepare a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  Why not invite them over to your house?  Usually, there are more than enough leftovers to go around after the Thanksgiving feast, and we can always put an extra chair around the table.
3. Go out and serve.  There are hundreds of opportunities around your community.  The church in my hometown used to hold a Community Thanksgiving Day meal where our family served a couple of times.  This was a great way for my parents to demonstrate that Thanksgiving was so much more than turkey and football.  We had the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need.  Why not find a place to serve with your family this Thanksgiving season?  (If you’re in the Perkiomen Valley area, consider joining our H.O.P.E. group.  We gather together twice a month to serve others in our community.  You can find out more about the group by going to our Facebook page (HOPEontheway).
4. Start a Thanksgiving tradition.  For over ten years, our family has been using the same tablecloth for our Thanksgiving dinner.  The tablecloth is white.  Each year, those in attendance trace their hand onto the tablecloth using different colored fabric markers.  Then in each of the five fingers, we write down something for which we’re thankful along with our name and the year.  The tablecloth is now filled with names of grandparents who are no longer with us and with years of thanksgiving.  As we look at the table each year, it gives us to reflect on how God has blessed us even through years of challenge.  Why not start a new tradition this year in your home?  Go buy a tablecloth and some fabric markers today!
5. Make it Thank You Thursday every week.  Matt McWilliams is a friend of mine from the blogging community.  A couple of months ago, Matt wrote about starting a Thank You Thursday Revolution.  In his post, he encouraged readers to write a handwritten Thank You note each Thursday.  Since his post, I’ve been writing a note every week to put into the mailbox of a co-worker.  It’s been remarkable to see the reaction.  We don’t need to be thankful one Thursday of the year.  Why not join the Thank You Thursday Revolution today?  It will change your world and the world of those around you!

This is a start!  What other ideas can you add to the list?  How do you celebrate Thanksgiving?  How can do you plan to transform your holiday?

One Way To Help Your Marriage

This past February, Leanne and I attended Family Life Weekend to Remember in Hershey, PA.  This is a weekend event designed to help improve and enhance your marriage.  You can read more about our experience by clicking here.

In my opinion, it’s not a once and done event.  This is something to revisit again and again.  I know I need the reminders and the encouragement.  And while it can be a lot of work to attend one of these weekends, it is so worth it.

Leanne and I are already making plans to attend our next Family Life Weekend to Remember.  And we’d like to invite you to attend one of these conferences.  Family Life has teamed up with The Stretched Blog to offer a discounted rate for Stretched readers.  Simply go to the Family Life Weekend to Remember site, and register using the group code:  STRETCHED.  This will give you a significant discount on the normal rate of this conference.

We will be attending one of the weekends in Pennsylvania, but you can use the group code for any of the weekends that are offered this next year across the country.  Don’t let another year slip by without doing something to improve your marriage.  This is a weekend that you will remember.

Feel free to pass this along to other as well, so they can get in on the discount.  Also, let me know if you have any questions that I can answer for you regarding the Weekend to Remember.

What have you done recently to strengthen your marriage?

Another Family Milestone – Our Daughter Heads to High School

Today marks a huge milestone in our family.  Hannah, our daughter and oldest child, starts high school.  How did that happen?

Are we as parents ready for this?  I’m not sure.

Is Hannah ready?  That’s another story.  She’s definitely ready!

She’s been practicing with the cross-country team for several weeks.  And she ran her first couple of scrimmage meets this past week.

She had already moved up to the high school youth group at church.  This move-up made her eligible to participate in the missions trip to Guatemala a month ago.  It was in Guatemala where it was made clear that she is ready for this transition.  She mixed in with the rest of the upperclassmen.  She knew as much or more Spanish than anyone else on the trip, and she was able to stand on the same level spiritually with the other kids on the trip.

There was a moment on the trip that will forever be etched in my memory.  In this moment, Hannah stood on her own as a caring, compassionate young woman.  When we finished building the house, our group held a dedication service with the family.  At this service, we gave the family the keys to the house.  We gave them a Bible signed by our team.  And we prayed with them.  At one point, Hannah pulled out her notebook.  I didn’t know this was coming (and I’m not sure if anyone else knew either).  Hannah had written out several words to share with the family.  I’m not sure what these words were since my Spanish is pretty weak, but I could tell the family was impressed and touched by what Hannah shared with them.

Photo by Kaleigh Rank:  The moment that will be etched in my memory forever.

And so, we arrive at today – her first day of high school.  I have such confidence and hope in Hannah’s future.  I know she’ll have her ups and downs.  But I’m a proud parent.  I’m thankful for this day!  I can’t wait to see what happens in Hannah’s next four years.

Do you remember your first year in high school?    How about your first day?  What do you remember about being a freshman?