Ice Breaker – Valentine’s Day / Your Own Day

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

Valentine is the last name of someone in my office.  Whenever I see him, I say “Hey, it’s the guy with his own day!”  We typically banter back and forth joking around about what a “Stolpe Day” might look like.  So today’s question is so much about Valentine’s Day as it is about you.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  How would we celebrate a day named after you?

My Answer:  What would Stolpe Day look like?  Hmmm….

I think Stolpe Day would start out with some physical stretching – just to get loosened up for a fun and busy day.  The rest of the day would be about stretching in other ways – primarily by serving others.  Stolpe Day would be a day marked by getting outside your comfort zone to help someone else.  At the end of the day, people would gather with others to enjoy a delicious dinner and fellowship around the table.  Throughout the evening celebration, people would share stories from their day of serving.  Each person would explain how they were stretched by their experiences.  Before the celebration ended, everyone would enjoy a big dish of ice cream.  You can’t have Stolpe Day without ice cream!

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Ready To Relax

After a day of snow, these dogs are ready to relax. How do you relax after a day of shoveling?

Published via Pressgram

Thank You Thursday – Everyone Should Give Thanks

We are half way through the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge!

Today, I remind you that writing thank you notes is for everyone.  It doesn’t matter how busy you are.  It doesn’t matter how “important” you are.  It doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are.  You can write thank you notes no matter who you are!

Here’s a thank you note from someone you might recognize.

The note is written to Yann Martel, the author of Life of Pi.  In case you can’t read the image above, here is what is says:

Mr. Martel –

My daughter and I just finished reading Life of Pi together.  Both of us agreed we prefer the story with animals.

It is a lovely book – an elegant proof of God, and the power of storytelling.

Thank you.

Barack Obama

Can you imagine the look on Yann Martel’s face when he opened the envelope and read this note?

I bet the note made his day.

You don’t have to be famous like Barack Obama.  You have the power to make someone’s day by sending them a simple note.

Who is getting a thank you note from you this week?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

This post is stupid.

Wait!

What I mean, this post is all about how to respond when our words or actions are stupid.

We all do stupid things.

We do things we regret – things we’d like to take back.

We have all said something dumb.  Once we say it, we want to catch our words and stuff them back into our mouths.

We’ve even done something really ugly.  We’d like to go back in time and delete a scene from our life reel.  But it’s not that easy.

If you are a college basketball fan, you may have heard about the stupid words and actions of a Texas Tech fan and an Oklahoma State basketball star.  If you missed it, Marcus Smart of Oklahoma State pushed a Texas Tech fan after words were exchanged between the two in the stands at a recent game.

I’m pretty sure, they would both like to take back there words and actions.

I don’t know all the details, but from what I’ve seen both Smart and the fan have responded pretty well since the initial incident of stupidity.

So what can we learn from the Marcus Smart incident?

5 Things To Remember When We Say Or Do Something Stupid

1. Stupid happens.  We all do and say dumb things.  We let our emotions get the best of us.  Stupid will happen to you again at some point.
2. An apology is the best place to start.  When you do or say something stupid, be an adult.  An adult apologizes.  If you offended someone, you need to apologize.  Here’s the deal with apologies – your apology should be real, and it shouldn’t be full of excuses.  One of the things I like about Marcus Smart’s apology speech is that he did not make excuses.  He could have said, “I apologize, but he called me a ________.”  Everything before the “but” is garbage.  When you apologize, focus on your side of the mistake, and don’t focus on how you were offended.
3. Take your punishment like a man.  Before the punishment was even determined, Marcus Smart indicated he would accept whatever punishment the NCAA and Oklahoma State gave him.  As it turns out, he was suspended for three games for his role in this incident.  Your stupid action may not get the attention of the NCAA, but it probably has some consequences.  Don’t complain about the consequences.  Deal with it.
4. Learn to laugh at yourself.  Sometimes you just have to shake your head and chuckle at yourself for your stupid words and actions.  Taking yourself a little less serious is a great way to get through your personal stupidity.
5. Learn from your stupidity.  If you said something or did something stupid, try not to do it again.  You should have learned your lesson the first time.  Only time will tell if Marcus Smart and the Texas Tech fan learned their lesson.  Hopefully, they did!

How do you respond to your own stupidity?  What additional tips to you have for others who have said or done something stupid?

Junk In The Trunk

We all have junk in the trunk.

We all have baggage from our past.  This baggage weighs us down.  It influences our decisions and interactions moving forward.

Over the weekend, Leanne and I visited the Walnut Street Theater in Philadelphia, PA.  Right now, they are featuring Other Desert Cities, a play written by Jon Robin Baitz.  The play tells the story of the Wyeth family (a daughter, a son, a mom, a dad, and an aunt) as they deal with junk in their trunk.

I really did not have any expectations as I went to the play.  Other Desert Cities was simply the third show in the five show season we are currently enjoying as subscribers to the Walnut Street Theater, and I was looking forward to a night out with my wife.

The play left me thinking quite a bit.  The daughter in the play (Brooke Wyeth) comes home to Palm Springs, CA to spend Christmas with her family.  She brings a couple of copies of the manuscript for a book she is getting ready to publish about her family.  The manuscript reveals some dark details about her brother and his death.  It exposes some deep, dark secrets her politically connected parents would rather keep quiet.  The play which takes place in the living room of the Wyeth home is the dialogue which happens around Brooke’s manuscript.  The parents don’t want it published.  And we find out there is more to this story than initially meets the eye.  Many aspects of this play hit a little too close to home.

Other Desert Cities reminded me there is more to the story than meets the eye.  We are all coming at life from a slightly different angle.  We have baggage.  We have experienced things differently than those around us.  We react differently because of different life experiences.  Before we jump to conclusions, it’s important to listen to the stories of others.

Sharing our junk with other people takes courage, wisdom, and trust.  We need courage to expose ourselves.  We need wisdom to know how much to share and with whom to share it.  And we need to trust those who hear about our junk will respond appropriately.

There is power in sharing our junk to help others.  The play reminded me how common my junk is.  When people share their junk, they give others a sense of belonging, and they provide a sense of hope.  By sharing your junk, you have the opportunity to give someone hope and a new perspective.

There is freedom which comes from sharing our junk.  When we share our junk, we are no longer carrying it by ourselves.  There are others to help us along the way.  This can provide tremendous freedom.  One word of advice here…not all junk should be shared openly.  Confidential counseling is a great place to release some of your junk.  A few years ago when I was going through a tough time, I sought out the confidence of a paid, professional counselor.  This was really helpful in helping me process what I was experiencing.

I’m not sure what junk is in your trunk.  But I would encourage you to share it with someone.

How have you dealt with the junk in your trunk?  How has it helped you and others to share your junk?

Book Review: LIFE after ART by Matt Appling (@MattTCoNP)

When was the last time you took an art class?

When was the last time you were in an art room (besides at meet the teacher night for your kids)?

When was the last time you created something beautiful?

When we become adults, we often put things aside.  We now have responsibilities.  We have “important” things to accomplish.  We don’t have time to play.  We have to work.  We have to make money.  We have to provide.

When we grow up, we leave the art room, and we stop creating beautiful things.

In Life After Art: What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room, Matt Appling challenges readers to become artist’s again.  Matt, who is an art teacher in Missouri, takes readers back into the elementary school art room.  He reminds us how creative we once were when we were young.  From here, Matt goes on to describe how society is suffering from an epidemic of lost creativity.  He then takes readers through the process of relearning to create, to take risks, and to be artists again.

I appreciated the perspective Matt brings to this book.  An an engineer and operations manager for the past 20 years, I recognize the tendency to fall into a state of complacency.  I do the same things day after day.  It becomes easy to stop thinking and to stop creating things of beauty.  Personally, my writing has become a place for me to create again.  I may never be the next Monet or Van Gogh.  I may never become the next C.S. Lewis or J.R.R. Tolkien.  But I can create something beautiful.  Thanks for the reminder, Matt!

To learn more about Matt, check out his blog or follow him on Twitter.

This month, I’m giving away a copy of Life After Art: What You Forgot About Life and Faith Since You Left the Art Room to someone in the Stretched Community.  To be considered for the giveaway, you must be one of the top 10 commenters during the month of February.  If you don’t want to wait for the winner to be announced, feel free to pickup a copy of the book by clicking here.

What is the last thing you created?  What was your favorite thing about elementary school art class?

(Please note:  There are affiliate links in this post.  Should you purchase Life After Art by clicking one of these links, I receive a small percentage of the purchase.  These funds are used to support The Stretched Blog and to extend ministry and missions to Guatemala.  Thank you!)

(Special thanks to Tammy Helfrich who sent me a copy of this book.  You should consider reading her blog and listening to her podcast.)

Ice Breaker – Mt. Rushmore

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

This month, we celebrate the presidents.  There is not doubt these are people who have made huge sacrifices to lead our country.  They deserve to be celebrated, but I’m guessing most people look forward to President’s Day and President’s Day Weekend for time off from work or school and great “deals” at the local car dealership – not for the opportunity to celebrate the presidents.  Last week, my brother (David) posted a great question on Facebook about Mt. Rushmore.  I thought it was a great Ice Breaker question, and he was kind enough to let me use it here this week.  I’m sure he’ll leave his answer in the comments.  For the question and my answer, keep reading below.

(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas.  If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com.  If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)

Question:  Who would be on your Mount Rushmore?

My Answer:  Obviously, Mt. Rushmore was dedicated to the presidents, but I’d open it up to others.  My Mt. Rushmore would include Bono, Mother Teresa, Thomas Edison, and Jonas Salk.  I enjoy Bono’s music, and I think he’s used his platform well to raise awareness in the fight to end poverty.  Mother Teresa is a great example of sacrifice in her life of helping the sick, hungry, and poor.  Thomas Edison represents the field of science and engineering.  I love his inventive spirit.  And Jonas Salk was behind the ending of polio.  His studies and vaccine were ground breaking in the field of medicine, and I think he provides hope to other researchers who are working on cures for other maladies.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep STRETCHING!

Also don’t forget to sign up for the Stretched newsletter.  Check out this post to find out how to sign up.

Thank You Thursday – The Impact You May Never Know

It’s week 6 of the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge.  Here’s some encouragement to keep you focused.

The Impact You May Never Know

Writing thank you notes requires time, thought, and intentionality. Just like writing a blog post, you cannot expect to rush through the process.  If you want a quality note that makes an impact, you have to be specific in giving thanks.  You want to provide enough detail to make sure the recipient knows you noticed.  You want it to be neat.  In other words, it has to be legible.  The recipient will be able to read the note, and they will see that you took the time to honor them through the note.

Obviously, we want our thank you notes to mean something – especially to the recipient.

Often, I receive feedback from the recipients of my thank you notes.  They thank me for thanking them.  It provides a great opportunity to thank them again.  (It’s a fun cycle of gratitude!)  But there are also times when I don’t hear anything from the recipients.  This is just fine with me.  I have to trust they got the note.  If you are part of the 90 Day Thank You Note Challenge or the Thank You Revolution, you can’t write notes to get feedback from others.  When you write thank you notes, your focus should be on giving – not getting.

But here’s the interesting thing, your thank you notes are having an impact.

Your thank you note came at just the right time for someone.  Your note provided encouragement to someone.  They kept going, because you noticed them.  They kept going with a bigger smile and extra pep in their step, because you wrote them a thank you note.  But that’s not all.  Your thank you note encouraged them to be more thankful.  They started saying thank you to others.  In fact, they started writing thank you notes to others, because they received a thank you note from you.  They may not have signed up for the Challenge or the Revolution, but they started writing thank you notes more regularly.  As a result of their thank you notes, others were impacted – others started writing thank you notes – more people were recognized and encouraged – and more people felt appreciated.  And it kept going from there.

Can you see how this thing grows?

Your simple, thoughtful thank you notes are having a huge impact.  They are impacting people you may never meet.  They are impacting people in ways you may never know.

Is it worth writing a thank you note this week?

You bet!  Now get to it.  Your notes of thanks are having an impact!

How have you been impacted by someone’s thank you note to you?  How have you seen the impact of your thank you notes to others?

Send Me

Last night, our H.O.P.E. group met at our house for dinner, a devotion/discussion, and a service project.  Usually, I lead the devotion/discussion, but last night was different.  Isaac (my son) led the devotion/discussion.

He started this time by reading a verse from Isaiah:

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

The discussion kicked off with a question from Isaac: “What does this verse mean to you?”

It was a great discussion.

What would prompt Isaiah to respond the way he did?

It’s not always fun to serve, but it’s often very satisfying to serve others.

We don’t always see the benefit of serving others, yet we have to trust our efforts will not be lost on others.

But I think there’s more to Isaiah’s response.

If you read the rest of Isaiah 6, you’ll notice Isaiah shares a vision in which he is escorted into the throne room of God himself.  He sees seraphim with six wings covering their heads with two wings, covering their feet with two wings, and flying with two wings.  They are singing “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty.  Heaven and earth are filled of His glory.”

Isaiah’s response in verse 8 is the only way he could respond having experienced God and His glory.

There’s a lot of great reasons to serve others, to volunteer your time, and to even go on missions trips.  But the main reason for doing these kinds of things is to respond to God and His glory.

Do you realize God is holy?  How do you respond?

May we respond like Isaiah – Send me!

(Great job, Isaac!  Thanks for leading.)

Breaking Bad (Habits) – 5 Essentials For Breaking Bad Habits

Breaking Bad (Habits)

I have two confessions to make.

First, I’ve never seen an episode of Breaking Bad.  From what I understand, this is a pretty popular show that ended a couple of months ago.  Maybe, I’ll catch it on Netflix.

Second, I have bad habits.  I know this is shocking, but it’s true.  One of my bad habits is nail-biting.  That’s right, I clip my finger nails with my teeth.  To many, this habit is disgusting.  I’ve been chewing on my finger nails as long as I can remember.  To steal a line from Chicago, it’s a hard habit to break.

Part of stretching myself and making myself a better person is working to remove bad habits.  This even means conquering my nail-biting habit.

Do I think it’s possible?  I guess so, but I know it’s going to be extremely challenging.

As I thought about overcoming this habit, I started thinking about what it requires to overcome this kind of habit.  I have some ideas, but I would appreciate your feedback as to how I can overcome this bad habit.

5 Essentials For Breaking Bad Habits

1. Recognize the bad habit.  If you’re going to overcome a bad habit, you’ve got to realize you have a problem.  I’ve been biting my nails for so long, it happens without me realizing it.  The first step in overcoming this bad habit is to recognize the problem.
2. Commit to removing the bad habit.  You have to be serious about breaking the bad habit in order to address the problem.  I want to break this habit before the summer.  I’m going to do it!
3. Create a plan to remove the bad habit.  What can you do when you feel tempted to fall back into the poor pattern.  I’m still working on this plan for myself, but I make start wearing gloves more often or putting something nasty on my fingers to discourage this habit.    For me, my plan is intended to make sure I’m aware of the problem.
4. Find someone who will hold you accountable to overcoming the bad habit.  I’m going to ask my wife, my kids, and a close friend to hold me to this commitment to break this bad habit.  By writing about it here, I’m giving you permission to hold me accountable to breaking this bad habit.
5. Reward yourself along the way.  Start small.  Did I make it through one day without chewing my nails?  If so, let’s celebrate with a small reward – maybe a coffee at Starbucks.  As the time gets longer, use a larger reward.

Some have said it takes 21 days to break a bad habit.  I think it’s worth a try!

What is one bad habit you’d like to break?  What tips do you have for breaking bad habits?