Jon Stolpe
Jon Stolpe
Ice Breaker – Circus
Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question. The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community. I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments. While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.
(I’m always looking for Ice Breaker question ideas. If you have an idea, send me an email at jon@jonstolpe.com. If I use your question, I’ll give you credit and share your links.)
Question: If you were performing in a circus, what would you do?
My Answer: With my recent interest in public speaking, I think I would probably enjoy trying my hand at the ringmaster job. If that was already taken, I might try juggling. I already juggle a lot of things in my life, so I think I might be entertaining in this role.
Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!
Facing Your Fears About Short-Term Missions
Why are you scared?
What drives you to paralysis?
What prevents you from taking action?
What would it take to get around the obstacles in your way?
Maybe you are fearless. If you are fearless, I’d love to get in your head for a bit. I’m not talking about a stupid kind of fearlessness – a fearlessness that would lead you to jump off a tall building without a parachute or another method of safety.
Perhaps being fearless is relative. Somethings scare me to death, but they don’t faze you.
Many of the questions I get about short-term missions – especially related to my experiences in Guatemala – are related to the fears people have:
Will I get sick?
Will I be safe?
What will I eat?
Where will I sleep?
How will I understand the people I am serving?
Will I make it home safely?
Will people at home think I’m strange for going to a strange land?
How will I get from one place to the other?
Will I be welcomed where I serve?
Will I really make a difference?
If we peal these questions back, we can see that they are really questions based on fear. I get it. I had many of these same questions before I went to Guatemala the first time. And to be honest, I would probably still have many of these questions if I went somewhere different from Guatemala in the future.
It’s okay to have questions. Here’s the problem though. At some point, we have to take action. It helps to get some of the answers to these questions ahead of time, but we may never get all our questions answered. At some point, we have to take a leap of faith. We have to trust that God will work upstream ahead of our fears and ahead of our unanswered questions.
I’m in the early stages of planning a multi-week return trip to Guatemala in 2016.
Maybe you are supposed to join me for some or all of this trip.
Just maybe, it’s time for you to put aside your fears so you can take a leap of faith that will change your life forever.
Are you in our out? Don’t let your fears stand in your way of doing something amazing with your life.
What scares you the most about going on a short-term missions trip? What will it take for you to overcome these fears?
Video Blog: Table Topics – Spring and St. Patrick’s Day
The past few Wednesdays have featured video posts. This provides an opportunity to practice my speaking and to try something different. Here is today’s video post. After you watch the video, answer the questions in the comments.
Questions for the comments:
1. Why are you excited about spring?
2. What would you do with the gold in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
3. Tell us about a time when you felt like luck was on your side.
4. St. Patrick is the patron saint of engineers, and he was a missionary to Ireland. What is your mission? Where are you serving?
Watch the video to hear my responses.
Book Review: Undone (A Memoir) by @MicheleCushatt
We all have big dreams.
We all fantasize about the way we’d like to see life turn out. Call it utopia. Call it the perfect world. Call it paradise. Call it whatever you want.
We want to live in castles with ivory towers. We want to be rich and or famous. We want to come up with some amazing invention, discovery, or cure. We want to see people getting along. We want perfect health to go with perfect bodies. We want the perfect spouse which will certainly mean we’ll end up with perfect children.
What happens when life doesn’t quite work out the way you expected?
If your like me, it be pretty challenging to put on a smiling face when life doesn’t work out the way I planned it.
In Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life
As she comes to terms with a different life than she had planned, she begins to see God’s greater good in the midst of personal challenge and tragedy.
If you want to be challenged to look at life’s valleys and turns from a new perspective, I’d recommend you pick up a copy of Undone.
The book releases to the world today (March 10, 2014). Pick up your copy by clicking here
How have you made peace with the unexpected in your life?
(Please note: I received a copy of Undone
Also to note: There are affiliate links in this post. Should you purchase Undone
Sick Day
I’ve been a little under the weather this weekend, and I’ve been off-line for the most part.
As a result, I’m going to take a break from posting today. Hope you understand.
If you want to have a conversation while I’m recovering, answer the question below in the comments.
See you tomorrow!
When was the last time you were sick? What is your secret remedy for overcoming a common cold?
Ice Breaker – Snow Day
My wife and kids had the day off yesterday thanks to the snow storm that blew through the Philadelphia area yesterday. I managed to make it into the office. There was a buzz throughout the office created by the winter storm outside. Today’s Stretched Ice Breaker is inspired by the now day yesterday.
Question: What is your favorite snow day memory?
My Answer: When I was a young kid, my family lived in Wheaton, Illinois (just west of Chicago). I was six or seven when we had a foot of snow on the ground. While we were off from school, the neighborhood kids and our parents gathered to build a giant four-foot tall snow fort. All the kids in the neighborhood could actually fit in the snow fort. It was so cool!
Shortly after building the snow fort, a blizzard hit the Midwest dumping four more feet of snow. Our snow fort was gone, but we were left with snow we will always remember. My dad shoveled our long gravel driveway by hand leaving 13 foot tall snowbanks on the sides of our driveway. I remember digging holes and tunnels all over our backyard. These snow days will be ones I always remember.
Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment. I look forward to reading your response! (As always, feel free to share links.) And keep Stretching!
Hope Rising From The Ashes – Rethinking The Impact Of Short-Term Missions
I received a phone call from my friend, David Sgro, Monday afternoon. Dave is the missionary I have been working with the past three years in the village of Santo Domingo Xenacoj in Guatemala. He broke down in tears as read this post to me written by Joshua Hunt. Joshua is in Xenacoj with a team from AIM World Racers for a month serving in and around the village. Joshua’s story below is a story of hope rising from the ashes.
Here’s what Joshua Hunt had to say on his blog:
“Hola Justin! Tienes tiempo para ir conmigo a Ayapan?” (“Hey Justin! Do you have time to come with me to Ayapan?”)
German, our local contact, poked his head through our open front window as we wound down the afternoon listening to some quiet indie music.
“Sure?” I responded, somewhat honored to be asked but bewildered as to what needed to be done in Ayapan.
I convinced Karissa to go along with us. Being as AIM technically requires us to travel in at least pairs, I was able to cover my lack of enthusiasm for this new, unknown, late-afternoon task.
As we wound up the ragged mountain roads, our 15-passenger van with only 3 seats in use bounced lightly and rebelliously over the potholes and loose stones. On two different occasions, we squeaked by colorful chicken busses, staring perilously down the mountainside as only fractions of inches separated us from either becoming a new paint job on a public bus or chicken feed at the bottom of the slope.
When we made it to Ayapan, the main schoolyard in the center of the village was empty, save for a handful of boys playing with a plastic ball and shielding themselves from frequent swirls of rising dust. Only a week ago we played fútbol for hours with the schoolchildren during recess. But now, during the approaching dusk, the field felt lonely and void. Walking around the side of what I thought was another educational building, we found a man sweeping a layer of fresh, green pine needles out of a chapel meeting room in to a pile on the portico.
German approached the small-statured man with purpose and intent. After introducing himself to the man and his companions still inside the dim meeting hall, it was clear we were to be introduced as well. I fail to recall the names of each of the six men, but German quickly explained these were the mayor and leaders, city council if you will, of the local community. I strained to maintain my composure; not one of these men stood taller than 5’4’’, and they appeared a perplexing mix of age and youth. Among the weathered and deep-ridges faces, the wisps of grey hair and the various silver-capped teeth, these representatives appeared no older than thirty, not much older than me.
In the minutes that followed, I struggled to keep up with a rapidly interchanging conversation in both Spanish (“Castellano” in the words of older Guatemalans) and Kaqchikel, the Mayan and native language of much of the population in the mountains here. The conversation continued as we took seats inside the hall.
After a short while, German suddenly turned to me and said, “voy a comprar algo para tomar, venga,” (“I’m going to buy something to drink, come with!”) as he headed to the door.
Karissa and I followed German out to the tienda across the street where we purchased glass bottles of 7UP and Mirinda for each of our group back at the chapel. German paid at the barred counter and popped the lids off one by one. We returned to the seated group, a solemn, yet polite gathering.
Please go to Joshua’s blog to read the rest of this story of hope rising from the ashes. You will understand why Dave was in tears when he called me on Monday afternoon. To get there, click here.
After Dave read Joshua’s post, he thanked me and said I was part of what is happening in this village near Xenacoj.
Many people think short-term missions don’t can make a difference.
Maybe it’s time to rethink this.
Short-term efforts coupled with long-term commitments can make a huge difference.
v v v v v v v v v v v
When have you seen hope rise out of desperation?
When have you seen a short-term effort make a big difference?
7 Delegation Posts To Stretch Your Leadership – Delegation Recap
Delegation
Here’s how wikipedia defines delegation:
Delegation is the assignment of responsibility or authority to another person (normally from a manager to a subordinate) to carry out specific activities. It is one of the core concepts of management leadership. However, the person who delegated the work remains accountable for the outcome of the delegated work. Delegation empowers a subordinate to make decisions, i.e. it is a shift of decision-making authority from one organizational level to a lower one. Delegation, if properly done, is not abdication. The opposite of effective delegation is micromanagement, where a manager provides too much input, direction, and review of delegated work. In general, delegation is good and can save money and time, help in building skills, and motivate people. Poor delegation, on the other hand, might cause frustration and confusion to all the involved parties. Some agents however do not favour a delegation and consider the power of making a decision rather burdensome.
The past few weeks, I have been concentrating on this important leadership topic. Today, I want to wrap up the series (for now) with the video of my presentation to student leaders at Grove City College last month. During the presentation, I had an opportunity to speak about delegation, leadership, and legacy. After you watch the video, I have included links to seven delegation posts which I used to craft my presentation.
7 Delegation Posts To Stretch Your Leadership
- Stressed, Exhausted, Inadequate Leader – You’re Not Alone
- The Solution To Leadership Stress, Exhaustion, and Inadequacy – 6 Reasons Leaders Should Delegate
- 4 Reasons Leaders Resist Delegating
- 13 Delegation Quotes
- 8 Things To Avoid When Delegating
- 11 Keys To Delegation Success
- Confessions Of A Leader Who Struggles With Delegation
Which delegation post was your favorite? What have you learned about delegating that you would like to remember? What is one thing you can do to improve the way you delegate?
February 2015 – Top Posts & Commenters Plus BOOK GIVEAWAY
Here are the highlights from February 2015. Thanks to everyone who read along and commented. Your readership and participation in the daily discussions are what make The Stretched Community. Thank you!
Overall, traffic was down from January (39.62%). Traffic was up 75.13% compared to a year ago. I made changes early this month to the URL link structure for my posts which contributed to changes in the traffic trends on the blog. I expect it may take a couple of months to recover, but I think it was the right thing to do. All the posts on the top ten list this month are from the month of February 2015, and three of the posts were related to my delegation series. If you missed any of these posts, I hope you’ll go and check them out now by clicking below. The posts with the most engagement were – Ice Breaker – Love Songs and January 2015 – Top Posts & Commenters Plus BOOK GIVEAWAY.
Top 10 Posts:
- 11 Keys To Delegation Success (85)
- Confessions Of A Leader Who Struggles With Delegation (76)
- 5 Ideas For Teaching Our Sons (45)
- Short-Term Missions Survey Results – Part 1 (36)
- P Is For Presentation – 5 Steps To A Great Presentation (34)
- January 2015 – Top Posts & Commenters Plus BOOK GIVEAWAY (31)
- Ice Breaker – Love Songs (29)
- Teach Us To Number Our Days (27)
- Short-Term Missions Survey Results – Part 4 (23)
- 8 Things To Avoid When Delegating (22)
Top 10 Commenters:
- Larry Carter (18)
- Steve Y (9)
- David Stolpe (8)
- Bill (cycleguy) (6)
- Jon Stallings (4)
- Shawn Washburn (4)
- Lulu (3)
- Carol Peterson (2)
- Caleb (1)
- Dan Black (1)
As promised at the beginning of the month, I have randomly chosen someone from the top commenters list to receive a copy of 
For the month of March, I’ll be giving away another copy of On Track: Life Lessons from the Track & Field
Thanks to each and everyone for reading and for commenting. I’m looking forward to February with The Stretched Community! The month of February will include more STRETCHING posts. The first part of the month will include additional posts on the topic of leadership and delegation.
If you’re interested in guest posting here, leave a comment to connect with me.
How was your month? If you’re a blogger share a link to your top post in the comments? What was your favorite Stretched post this month? How were you STRETCHED in February?
In case you’re interested, here are a few other interesting stats about January (based on Google Analytics):
- Users – Decreased 62.70%
- Sessions – Decreased 40.41%
- Pageviews – Decreased 38.99%
- Pages Per Session – Increased 2.43%
- Average Session Duration – Increased 5.00%
- Bounce Rate – Decreased 4.76%
- New Sessions –Decreased 12.34%
On Track – Life Lessons from the Track & Field is now available on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle. Click the link below to get your copy today.
As a reminder, I am offering a FREE pdf copy of the interior of the book to subscribers of The Stretched Newsletter. Head over to the main page of the blog and sign up on the right hand menu bar to get your copy today for FREE!
7 Habits That Build A Lasting Marriage
How to have an active love affair with your spouse, even when life gets in the way.
A few weeks ago, I visited my wife’s family for the holidays. As part of the visit, I spent a fair amount of time with my wife’s aunt and uncle. Uncle Dave is in his mid-eighties. He has always had a wit and charm about him. Over the last couple of years, I’ve been able to see that Uncle Dave is starting to lose a little pep in his step. He has struggled to stay alert and to remember things he normally would recall with ease. This visit in particular, I could see how he is heading further down the path of Alzheimer’s (though I’m not sure if he has officially been diagnosed).
Uncle Dave and Aunt Donna have been married for over thirty years – second marriages for both of them. They have always had an active love affair with each other. They used to work together. They golf together. And they go out for coffee every morning together. Their habits have clearly bolstered their marriage.
During my visit, it was obvious that Uncle Dave’s mental health was frustrating Aunt Donna. She appeared more tired than normal, and she struggled at times trying to keep Dave in-line at meal times. Throughout my visit, I thought a lot about her and the hard times she is having as a result of Dave’s fading memory. The day I left for home, our family went to church together. In the middle of the service, I noticed the two of them holding hands. I couldn’t help but smile. I even snapped a picture while nobody was paying attention. This small gesture reminded me of the commitment they made to each other and the one I made to my wife. Even when times get tough, I ultimately want a marriage that goes the distance.
Marriage is hard. According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of marriages in America end in divorce. Throw health, job, or parenting challenges into the mix, and it doesn’t get any easier. It takes commitment, diligence, and discipline to overcome these challenges.
Here are seven habits to help build a marriage that goes the distance:
Say “I love you” every day.
Saying “I love you” seems easy when you first get married. You profess your love at the altar, and your professions taper off as time passes. This shouldn’t be the case. A little love every day goes a long way. Make a daily habit of telling your spouse how much you love her.
Hold hands.
Remember when you first held hands with your spouse for the first time. There was magic in the air. You could literally feel a tingling sensation as your fingers interlocked. Holding hands shouldn’t end when you say “I do.”
Keep dating your spouse.
Before you married one another, you found every excuse to be together. You dated all the time. When marriage and children creep in, dating often gets kicked to the curb. Commit to yourself and to each other to keep dating. Block time on your calendar every week or every month to make sure you go out on a date with your wife and without your kids.
Eliminate words like “always” and “never” from your vocabulary.
“You ALWAYS leave your laundry on the floor.” “You NEVER get home on time.” Wouldn’t it sound better like this: “I would appreciate it if you would put your laundry in the hamper or put it away instead of leaving it on the floor.” “I know you are working hard at the office, but I would appreciate it if you made an effort to arrive home by 6PM, so we can eat dinner together.” These are just a few examples. Always means forever, and never means not even once. By watching the words we use when we communicate with our spouses, we are sure to make things pave an easier road for our marriages.
Choose to resolve conflict and anger.
Unresolved conflict is a recipe for bitterness which ultimately leads to isolation and eventual separation (physically or emotionally). Confronting our anger is not always easy, but the outcome is almost always positive. It’s worth seeking resolution.
Prioritize your time to reflect the priority of your relationship.
Look at your schedule. Is there any room for spending time with your spouse? It’s time we said no to a few things, so we can have more time for the most important person in our world – our spouse.
Take the time to affirm your commitment.
Take a moment to reaffirm your love and commitment to yourselves and one another each day. These small opportunities to have conversation will keep you united even when the world is going crazy all around you.
The days continue to be challenging for my wife’s aunt and uncle, but they are committed to each other, and they are still practicing these habits. Their dedication to each other has been a great reminder for my wife and me as we seek to build our own marriage that goes the distance.
This article first appeared at The Good Men Project.
Photo: Sean McGrath/Flickr