Solitude

Webster’s Online Dictionary defines solitude as “the quality or state of being alone or remote from society.”

Why would anyone want to “practice” solitude?

Limited amounts of solitude can give us a chance to get away from the distractions of regular life and routine.  We live in a day and age when we are bombarded with noise, activity, and motion.  These things can crowd out the voice of God.

So for today, I’m going to keep my post short.  I’m going to get away in solitude even if it’s for a short time this morning.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

When was the last time you practiced solitude?  How has God been speaking to you lately?

Foundations Class Week 2: Growth

Yesterday morning, I led week two of a Foundations Class at my church. If you remember from my post last week, we talked about grace during the first class.  This week, we continued along with the five Gs outlined in Fully Devoted, a study guide by John Ortberg, with the topic of growth.

Growth is an interesting topic.  When I think of growth these days, I think about growth in my running, in my writing, and in my engineering management career path.  In each of these areas, growth doesn’t just happens.  It takes work.  If I want to run a marathon, I have to go into strict training.  If I want to become a better writer and maybe someday write a book, I have to keep practicing and learning.  If I want to keep up with the ever-changing engineering and leadership fields, I have to stay in training so I can learn about new technologies and about new leadership techniques.

Spiritual growth is somewhat similar.  It doesn’t just happen.  It takes time, experience, and some effort on our parts if we’re serious about growing spiritually.  Sure, God could just zap us with spiritual maturity, but we would then miss out on all the experience and training.

So, what does this kind of training look like?

That’s a good question.

I think it includes an attitude of learning – we need to learn God’s Word.  We need to develop a heart for prayer.  And we need to listen for God.  Listening to God can happen in a corporate setting of worship and small groups, but it also happens in solitude where the distractions of this world are put aside for a brief period of time. Honestly, this is the area where I struggle with now.  I feel so often that I’m running from one thing to the next.  I even wrote about this last week.  How can I hear God’s calling when I’m typically too busy even to hear myself think?

As we walked through our discussion, we talked about a few verses that encourage us to be intentional in our spiritual training.  I would encourage you to read these verses and see how they relate to the topic of growth and spiritual transformation.

I Corinthians 9:24-27, I Timothy 4:7-8, Galatians 5:22-23, Ephesians 4:22-24

It’s funny how God hits you on the head with a message when you’re in the spotlight leading.  This is a message that I need to hear over and over again.  It should be a fun week.  Leanne and I are leading a discussion on discipline at the week’s MOPS meeting at our church. Sounds like another blog post and some more challenging lessons.

What does your spiritual training look like right now? What steps do you need to take to grow spiritually?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms in my life and to all the mothers of the Stretched Community!  Have a great day!  You deserve it!

3 Thumbs Up! May 12th, 2012

Time for this week’s 3 Thumbs Up! Stretched blog post. For the past several weeks I have used this post as an opportunity to highlight three things that get my thumbs up. This has become a highlight for me as it gives me a chance to support the work of others. So… here are three things that get my thumbs up this week.

Thumbs Up Number 1:  Josh Hamilton. I’m not a Texas Rangers fan despite the fact that my parents live in Dallas, TX. However, it’s hard not to appreciate the story of Josh Hamilton. He has weathered the ups and downs of drugs, alcohol, and celebrity. As recently as this past off-season, Hamilton has dealt with the demons of his past. This week, Hamilton hit four home runs in one game. I haven’t heard the interview yet, but I hear that he gave a pretty moving interview after this achievement in which he talked about his past and about his faith.  Hamilton’s story is inspiring.  He’s obviously not perfect, and I’m sure he will continue to struggle with life.  What inspires me about his story is that there is still hope and redemption and salvation.  This is a story we all need to cling to.

Thumbs Up Number 2:. Blogging Your Passion Podcast. I just stumbled across this podcast this week as I was loading new podcasts on my iPod in preparation for a long day on the road. So far, Blogging Your Passion has released two episodes in which the speakers share valuable tips on how to improve your blogging along with suggestions on how to increase traffic. I listened to both episodes on Tuesday, and I found them very informative. I’ll be back to listen to future episodes.

Thumbs Up Number 3:  Executive Pastor Online by Kevin Stone.  I’m not an executive and I’m not a pastor, but I find myself resonating and thinking through many of the things that Kevin throws up on his blog on a regular basis.  Kevin came out of the corporate world to take on the challenges of running the business side of a church (my church).  His thoughts on leadership and team development often fit in with what I’m wrestling with in my own job as an operations manager.  If you’re interested in some new leadership ideas or if you are interested in reading thoughts from a guy who wants to help other churches, I’d recommend you check out Executive Pastor Online.

And those are my three thumbs up for this week!

What have you come across this week that deserves a thumbs up?

Ice Breaker – Blog, Blog, Blog

TGIF! It’s time for this week’s Stretched Ice Breaker. Each week I ask a question designed to help us connect as a Stretched Community. I start by answering the question and then it’s your turn. I’ll answer the ice breaker here in the post, and you can answer the question by leaving a comment.

The Question:

(1) What’s the first blog that you remember reading? (2) What blog are you reading that deserves the spotlight? (3) What’s your blog? (Please be sure to share the links, so we can all enjoy.)

My Answer:

(1) Let Me Be Frank by Frank Chiapperino (frankchiapperino.com). Frank was probably the biggest influence in getting me started with this whole blogging thing.

(2) This is a tough one, because I read so many great blogs on a daily basis. One that deserves the spotlight is Deuceology by Larry “The Deuce” Carter.  Larry’s blog (deuceology.wordpress.com) celebrated its first anniversary earlier this week.  In each post, Larry writes a post that makes you think twice about things that matter most.

(3) I guess you already know my answer to this question. Please pass this address along to your friends. Tell them to subscribe or follow on Facebook to become part of the Stretched Community. Thanks!

How’s that. I can’t wait to read your responses. Please leave your answer in the comments.

Slow Down

Yesterday, in four or five conversations with different people the subject of busyness came up. The conversations went something like this:

My friend: “Hey, how are you?”

Me: “Okay, how about yourself.”

My friend: “Good, but I’ve been real busy lately.”

Me: “I hear you. I’ve been busy lately as well. It seems like I’m running from one thing to the next.”

Seriously, this conversation with minor variations was repeated several times yesterday. Why do we allow ourselves to become so busy. Do we like being busy, or do we just like the opportunity to tell others that we’re busy? In all our running around, are we making progress towards something that really matters, or are we just trying to keep up with the neighbors?

Staying busy for the sake of being busy is pointless. And even if our activities result in something good, we still need to analyze our list of activities. Are we participating in activities that match up with our gifts and passions? Are we leaving any space in our schedules for rest and reflection? Are we truly making the most of our opportunities – especially when we’re being pulled in a million different activities?

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve read a couple of blog posts and listened to a podcast or two that deal with this topic. Michael Hyatt talked about the importance of calendar triage in his blog in the past week. The FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey Podcast talked about the importance of simplifying our lives in an interview with Dr. Meg Meeker.

These are challenging messages to hear in this culture – especially in the Northeast where everyone seems so ME focused.  So how can we change this?  Here are four simple ideas that could make a huge difference in our journey to take control of our schedules:

1.  Write it down.  Take time at the beginning of each month and at the beginning of each week to write down and review the calendar.  Seeing it in front of you on a calendar will quickly show you if there are any gaps in your calendar for rest and refreshment.

2.  Prioritize and prune.  As you list out your activities and commitments, consider prioritizing them.  You may want to use a number system to assign a priority to each item on your calendar.  Going to church is a top priority in our house, so it gets a 1.  Other things might be a lower priority, so we can assign them a 2 or a 3.  As you review your calendar, consider giving up one of the lower priority activities.

3.  Schedule time for rest, refreshment, and reflection.  Seriously, block off time on your calendar.  Give this a top priority.  Don’t let something else come along and take its place.  This is something we’re still working on at home.  We have tried to make Monday night open for our date night.  This has worked most of the time; however, I must confess that the past couple of weeks we’ve let other things come in the way of this.

4.  Practice sabbath.  I was talking with my good friend, Michael Shaw, yesterday about this very subject.  Michael, who is Jewish, holds the sabbath (sun-down Friday night to sun-down Saturday night) sacred.  He literally shuts down each week during this time.  God’s command for a sabbath was not just meant for us to focus on Him, I believe it was designed to create a regular rhythm of rest in our lives.  It’s important that we find ways to practice the sabbath.

What is one thing that you need to trim off your calendar or schedule this month?  What other suggestions do you have for slowing down?

Boundaries

I have learned to enjoy exploring and experiencing new places.  I believe that I have visited 36 of the 50 states, and I have traveled to three other countries.  Honolulu, Hawaii is probably the place I’ve visited that is furthest from my home.  However, my two trips to France are probably where I felt the furthest from home.  And if you’ve been reading here for a few months, you know I’m planning to go to Guatemala this summer.  When you’re not familiar with the location, the language, the currency, and the culture, it can feel like you’ve traveled to another planet.

The higher speed and relatively lower cost of travel have made it easier to travel away from the boundaries of our home town.

As parents, our responsibility is it to set up appropriate boundaries for our children.  Just like a goldfish needs the boundaries of the fishbowl to keep the alive and safe, our kids need boundaries.  These boundaries are meant to keep our kids safe, to protect property, to prevent psychological damage, and to promote respect for others.  Boundaries provide children with a secure framework in which they can grow.  As our kids get older, we allow these boundaries to expand.  Hopefully, by the time we release our children from our care, they will be better prepared to set up their own boundaries.

Many parents do not want to say no to their kids, but kids are not designed to run around without boundaries.  The novel Lord of the Flies by William Golding provides a glimpse into what might happen with our kids if they were left without clear limits.  In this book, several 6 to 12 year olds turn to barbarism when they are stranded without adult supervision on a deserted island.  While this is just a story, it does remind us that we have an important role in our kids’ lives.  We are responsible for setting boundaries for our kids that will keep them safe and will help them grow into responsible adults.

Different boundaries are required based on the age and development of your child.  When children are toddlers, you may need to set boundaries so they don’t wander into the street or down the stairs.  As they approach preschool and elementary school, kids need to know who they should and shouldn’t talk to – “Don’t talk to strangers.”  As they continue to get older they will need monitoring related to their computer/internet use and their television/movie viewing.  There are many different types of boundaries to consider.

Setting limits is another way to look at setting boundaries.  Limits are not a negative thing.  For example, I need to set limits on the amount of food that I consume.  I like ice cream, but if I eat too much ice cream, my cholesterol will get even higher, my weight will increase, and my overall all health will deteriorate.  At our home, we do this by setting time limits for the television, for the computer, and for video games.  Setting these limits communicates to our children what is okay and what is not okay.  When we’re clear with our limits and when we follow through with our limits, our kids learn what to expect.  When we don’t set limits or when we don’t follow through on our limits, our kids can easily become confused by the lack of a consistent message.

Boundaries are a good thing.

What do boundaries look like at your house?  Or what did boundaries look like for you when you were growing up?  Do you agree that boundaries are important?  Why or why not?  Where else do you need boundaries in your life?

My Mom

My Mom and Hannah near the Grassy Knoll in Dallas, TX

My Mom is pretty special.  And I know I don’t tell her that nearly often enough.  She’s the one who put up with three boys not including my Dad and any of the dogs we’ve had along the way.  Mom has a servant’s heart.  She is always looking out for the best interest of others.  Whether it’s in our home, at church, in the mall, on the highway, or anywhere else, Mom has a keen desire to make sure everyone is cared for and is well fed.

As an example, Mom was one of the main drivers behind the creation of a caring center at our old church in Mt. Holly, NJ.  At this center, Mom and other volunteers would collect food and clothing to give to families from the area who were in need.  This ministry grew and grew for several years as it served hundreds if not thousands of Burlington County families.

Mom is the one who knows most everyone at the church by name.  She knows them not just because she’s the pastor’s wife but because she has spent time praying for them.  Mom is friendly – this is a major understatement.  She one of the first to greet new people as they come into church.  She learns their names and quickly tries to help them to get plugged in with others.  This goes with Mom’s gift of hospitality.

As a kid, I remember Mom using this gift on many Sunday afternoon’s when we would have people over for Sunday “dinner” around our dining room table.  The food always smelled so good when we walked into the door after church.  Which reminds me, Mom is an amazing chef.  Her pot roasts and pies are just two of the things that come to mind when I think of Mom’s delicious cooking.

Mom loves Scrabble.  I’m kind of disappointed that I didn’t get to play Scrabble with her during our visit to Dallas last month.  But it was pretty neat to watch Mom playing Scrabble with Hannah and Isaac.  It reminds me of the times when I played Scrabble with my Grandma.

I could go on and on about Mom.  She’s really an amazing woman.  Most of all, I am thankful for my Mom, because she pointed me to Jesus.  Whether it was through her conversation or through the example she continues to provide, Mom showed me how to love God and to love others.  She showed me through her heart to serve others.

Thank you, Mom.  I love you!

What’s special about your mom?

How Did 12 Years Go By So Fast?

How did 12 years go by so fast?

This is the question I asked myself as I crawled into bed last night. Twelve years ago yesterday, our lives were forever changed when our son entered this world. I remember spending that day working in the yard with our two and half year old daughter, Hannah, who was decked out in a cute watermelon themed outfit complete with a watermelon hat. As we were getting into the middle of the afternoon, Leanne suddenly came outside and indicated that we needed to get moving quickly. The baby was on the way. Little did I know how soon he would arrive. We rushed to the hospital.  And we barely made it out of the parking lot and into the hospital when Leanne’s water broke. Within an hour we were holding our 8 pound 6 ounce bundle of joy.

You would never think he was once so small when you see him now. At five and a half feet tall and just over the 100 pound mark, Isaac is rapidly becoming a young man. When we think of Isaac many things come to mind: he is talented – especially musically, he is kind, he is thoughtful, he is caring, he is funny, he is quiet, he is goofy at times, and he is a tinkerer. These are just some of the things that I think of when I think of my son.

But there is one thing that I am most proud of when it comes to Isaac. He loves God. His faith is important to him. He wants to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, Isaac is a 12 year-old boy who gets into trouble from time to time. But if you really get to know Isaac, you’ll see a kid who seeks to honor God. What more could a father ask for?

As we head into Isaac’s teenage years, I am beginning to realize that my time of influence is limited. I pray that I can have an impact on my son, and that I can help him to become the man God is calling him to become. As a father, I have the honor, the privilege, and the responsibility to intentionally teach him and lead him in his journey to manhood.

Isaac, I’ll do my best to help you. Be patient with me though, because I’m still figuring it out myself. Happy Birthday, son! I’m proud of you, and I love you, buddy.

What were you up to twelve years ago? How are you being intentional in your parenting?

Foundations Class Starts Today

We’re all bastards but God loves us anyway.

– Will Campbell

I found this quote in Phil Yancey‘s book, What’s So Amazing About Grace. In this book, Yancey shares a story (A Home For Bastards) about Will Campbell’s conversation with P. D. East, anti-Christian newspaper editor. Campbell’s quote ties in to the topic of a class I’ll be leading over the next several weeks. In the Foundations Class, we’ll be using John Ortberg‘s book, Fully Devoted, to discuss spiritual transformation. Each week, we’ll talk about one of the five Gs (Grace, Growth, Groups, Gifts, and Giving).

This week, we’ll be talking about Grace. As the quote above implies, grace is undeserved by all, but God gives it anyway. The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 is a wonderful story of grace. In this parable, the younger son of a rich ruler decides to cash in his inheritance early. He completely squanders the money, and he is eventually left to live with the pigs.

In a stroke of awakening, he decides to crawl back to his father to request a job as a servant. In the story, the father sees the son comes back from a distance, and he runs to him with open arms. The father welcomes his son back as a son and not as a servant. The father extends grace to the son.

Meanwhile, the older, loyal son sees what is happening and becomes jealous of the grace extended to his brother. He misses out on the loving grace already extended to him by the father. This can be an easy place to find myself as a long time Christian – and a first-born son. The story is a good lesson that God’s grace is open to all who chose to accept it and to return home to a loving Father.

If you’re interested in getting in on the conversation, come join us at the Foundations Class. We’re meeting Sunday mornings at 10:15am at Christ’s Church of the Valley.  There are also other Foundations Classes being offered if this time slot doesn’t work for you.

How have you experienced grace?