Ice Breaker – Relax

Today, I head out for my annual camping pilgrimage to the Poconos.  I have been making this trip for the past twenty-one years (with only one miss) with the same group of guys who are originally from my home town in New Jersey.  For me this is the perfect opportunity to relax.  On this trip, I’ll go fishing, catch up with some great long-time friends, and I’ll slow down compared to my normally busy pace of life.

For today’s Stretched Ice Breaker question, we’ll continue this theme.

Question:  What is your favorite way to relax?

(For those of you who are new here, an Ice Breaker is a question designed to help us get to know each other.  Each week, I ask a question which I’ll answer in the post.  Then I turn it to the readers to answer the question in the comments.)

I can’t wait to read your answer to this week’s question!

Writing – A Strange Discipline

As I write these words, it’s 4:55AM.

People often ask me about my writing.  “When do you write?”  “How do you come up with the ideas for a different post everyday?”  “Why in the world do you write?”

Writing is a strange discipline.

Believe me when I say that I have plenty of other things to do.  My family, my job, my own time for quiet reflection and personal fitness – these are all things that keep me very busy.  Yet somehow I find time to write.  I think it has to do with priorities.  Is writing enough of a priority for me that I would get up extra early to “participate” in this activity?  Or is writing enough of a priority for me that I would put other things aside or modify my schedule to make sure I had daily time to write?  If you’ve been following along since late June or early July 2011, you know that the answer is yes.  Since then, I have posted nearly every weekday and many weekend days.  Writing is a strange discipline.

When people ask me about my content, I’d be lying if I didn’t tell them that writer’s block occasionally sneaks in.  But honestly, life provides so much to write about.  It’s often a matter of simply opening up my eyes, my ears, and my mind to the world that is happening around me.  We live in such a dynamic world, writing is an opportunity to slow down even briefly and to take a snap shot in time of what’s going on in my head.  The other answer I tell people is that it’s important to be plugged in.  Yes, I read a lot of blogs, and I listen to a lot of podcasts.  But I would say that reading books and reading God’s Word are two essential tools for a Christian blogger.  It’s important to keep my mind engaged and well fed.  This is key to writing everyday.  Writing is a strange discipline.

I write for many reasons.  First and foremost, I hope my writing will bring glory to God.  Everything after that is gravy.  I write to wrestle out loud with the thoughts and ideas that come and go in my head.  I write to encourage others (at least I hope this is true).  I write to tap into my creative side (yes, even engineers can have small amounts of creativity).  I write to keep of record of my “stretch marks”.  If I’m honest, I write in hopes of extending my personal platform – of gaining some notoriety – of making my own personal dent in this world.  I write, because I’ve discovered that I am a writer.  Yes, writing is a strange discipline.

Why do you write?  When do you write?  What do you write about?

Foundations Class – Week 3 – Groups

This past Sunday, I led our third Foundations Class based on Fully Devoted by John Ortberg. Our first class was on Grace. Our second class was about Growth. And our third class focused on Groups. As you may imagine, I was pretty excited about this week. I’m a huge grouplife fan, and I have a passion for seeing people connected in community through groups.

The lesson for this week reminded me that being in a group is more than just about connection. Being in a group is about experiencing the life transforming power of truth and grace. You see, we all need truth and grace in our lives. If we have too much grace and not enough truth, we will miss out on growth. We will fail to face up to things in our lives that need change and transformation. On the other hand, if we have too much truth in our lives and not enough grace, we will get bogged down in the sin that entangles all of us. We need both truth and grace in equal amounts.

When it comes to dispensing truth and grace to those around us, we also need to be balanced. We need to speak both truth and grace into those around us. When we fail to do this, we miss out on showing love. My friend, Diane, showed me a great chart that helps to demonstrate this principle. I’ll do my best to explain it.

Looking at the chart above, Grace is plotted along the x or horizontal axis and Truth is plotted along the y or vertical axis (I love this kind of talk!).  If we fail to show grace and we fail to show truth, it shows are lack of involvement in the lives of others (this is the RED area of the chart). When we show truth and we fail to show grace, we are graceless (the YELLOW area of the chart). On the other side of the spectrum, when we show grace and we fail to show truth, we are lying (the GREEN area of the chart). Where we hit our sweet spot, we show both truth and grace (the BLUE area of the chart). This is how we truly exhibit love towards one another.

Christian community isn’t always perfect. Over the years, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly that can sometimes happen even amongst groups that call themselves Christian. We need to strive for the best. We need to be marked as people who love. Love happens when truth and grace coexist. And I believe that small groups are a perfect place to flesh this out.

Do you have a relationship where grace and truth exist? Are you in a small group? Why or why not?

Answers To Your Stretching Questions

On Friday, I asked you to ask me any questions.  Today, I’ll do my best to answer the questions.  This is one of my longer posts, but I hope you’ll find in interesting and perhaps a little humorous.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on my responses to your questions.  Thanks so much to each of you for some wonderful and challenging questions (I may just have to do this again some time).

What would you go back and tell 16 year old you if you could time travel? from Larry Carter at Deuceology

Great question, Larry.  I’d tell myself to buy stock in Apple.  I’d tell 16 year-old Jon Stolpe to be confident in who God made him.  I’d tell me that I am a writer.  I’d tell me not to sweat the girlfriend thing, because God has an unbelievable wife in store for me for the future.  I’d remind me that I am a leader.

Who is your favorite blogger? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

This is really a tough one as I follow so many great bloggers.  Perhaps, my favorite is my dad, Norman Stolpe.  My dad is a writer’s writer.  He has been writing for years.  He doesn’t blog regularly though he keeps a blog.  But his weekly sermons have to be considered as some type of blogging.  My dad has inspired me on many different levels when it comes to my writing.  I don’t ever expect to hold a candle to his writing skill, but I hope that my dad will be proud that I’ve followed in his writing footsteps in some small way.

What motivated you to start blogging? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

I have a friend, Frank Chiapperino, who was my biggest encouragement to start blogging.  Frank was our adult ministries pastor at the time, and he now pastors his own church in Minnesota.  Frank still blogs fairly regularly about leadership, technology, and small groups.

What verse in the Bible challenges you the most? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

Colossians 4:2-6 is one of my favorite verses and probably one of the verses that challenges me the most.  Making the most of every opportunity means so much to me.  I need to make the most in sharing my faith with others.  I need to make the most of the time I have with my friends, family, and co-workers.  I don’t want my time here on earth to be a waste.  I want to hear God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Would you rather have spam for hands or mayo for a tongue? from Rob Shepherd at robshep.com

This ones easy for me.  I hate (I strongly dislike) mayo, so I’ve got to go with Spam for hands.  If I had a mayo tongue, I’d be throwing up all the time.

It’s a question I asked on my blog yesterday. If you wrote a cardboard testimony what would it say? from Eileen Knowles at The Scenic Route

“God love me – broken and bruised, impatient and imperfect, STRETCHED!”

Where do you see yourself in 15 years? from Joe Lalonde at jmlalonde.com

In 15 years, I will be 55.  I’ll have two kids in their later twenties, and I will have been married for over 30 years.  I hope to be 100% debt free including the house.  I hope to be giving way more than I’m getting.  I’d love to have written at least one book by that time – though I’m still figuring all that out.  If I stay at my current job (which is definitely a possibility), I will have been there for over 31 years.  I’d like to continue to grow in respect.  I’d like to be known for investing in others like no other leader before me.  I’m not sure if blogging will still exist in 15 years, but I’d like to use my writing as a tool to expand the Kingdom.

As a man of strong religious beliefs, what do you think is in general the greatest challenge today to people who seek to maintain their religious faith? And what is the greatest challenge to maintaining your faith personally?  For example, is it that science has called into question many fundamental beliefs in the Bible? Is it rampant materialism in our society? Is it pressure from the mass media to adopt more secular values? When people who are hypocritical in their religious practice are exposed to the public, is that the greatest challenge to believers? Or is personal hardship and suffering a greater challenge to faith than all of these?  from Michael Shaw at I Love Skippack

Wow, this is a pretty deep question which I may need to explore in more depth in a future post.  My short answer is this: The greatest challenge today to people who seek to maintain their religious faith is the same challenge that has plagued people since the beginning of time.  We are so bent on being in control.  We’re self-centered, sinful creatures.  We all struggle with ME, ME, ME.  And we live in a culture where this pull towards ME is so strong.  It’s so easy to be distracted by the things of this world that call to us saying “I can help you get ahead by doing this or doing that.”  For me personally, it’s not much different.  I get distracted by thoughts of trying to get ahead, trying to make a name for myself, and trying to keep up with the Joneses.  The Bible talks about “seeking first the Kingdom of God” in Matthew 6.  This can be a real challenge and can be nearly impossible without the support of family and friends of faith who spur me on.  This is part of the reason I love this blogging community.  While I hope my writing will spur other on, it’s often the Stretched Community that pushes me to keep the faith.  For that, I’m grateful beyond words.

How much are you ready to stretch yourself in order to see your God-given dreams come to pass?  from Joe Abraham at joeandancy.com

Appropriately, this question is rather stretching for me.  I’m fairly certain that I’ve shared this here before – I hate change.  I like things to be the same.  I would eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day given the choice.  So it’s no surprise that “stretching” to achieve my God-given dreams is not always easy for me.  Honestly, there have been a few setbacks along life’s journey that have dampened some of my dreaming, but I’m relearning some of the skill related to dreaming big again.  I shared some of this in a guest post over at Expect the Exceptional a few weeks ago, and I’ve been sharing some of these thoughts especially related to my leap of faith decision to go to Guatemala.  I think I struggle most in this area in trusting God financially to provide should I decide to leave my career and pursue something else.  I’m not convinced that this is where God’s calling me, but I think it would be the biggest challenge for now.  I’m not sure this fully addresses your question, but I hope it’s a start.  Thanks!

Wow!  This was more challenging than I expected.  Thank you to everyone who answered the call to question me.  What’s your answer to one of these questions?  Or better yet, what’s the one question you’re most afraid to answer?

Guatemala Update – Details Revealed

Yesterday afternoon, I met with our team of students and adults who are going on the upcoming trip to Guatemala.  If you’ve been following along for a couple of months, you know that it took a leap of faith for me to decide to go on this trip with my daughter, Hannah.  During our meeting yesterday, we learned a little more about what we would be doing and where we would be working while we are in Guatemala in just over two months.

First, we will spend three days building one or two houses.  As you may remember, the Stretched Community is a big part of this activity.  So far, the Stretched Community has raised $5,210 towards the first house.  It takes a total of $8,000 to build each house.  If you’d like to help us reach our goal click here or go to the Stretched main page and hit the donate button on the right side menu.

Second, we will spend three days running a Kids Camp type program for children in the area.  Our program will be based on the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the book of Daniel.  I believe the main message of the camp will talk about the importance of standing strong in your faith.  Somehow, we’ll do this in Spanish.

Finally, we will spend three days running a sports camp.  At this camp, we will be teaching kids about American football.  We will teach them about the game, help them run drills, and lead them in an actual game.  This should provide a unique opportunity to interact with the kids from this area.

Speaking of this area, we will be going to an area called Xenecoj (apparently near Santo Domingo).  This area is located north-west of Guatemala City, the capital of Guatemala.

Please continue to pray for our team as we prepare for this trip.  Pray for safety, and pray that our hearts would be open to transformation.  Pray for the family who will be receiving the home we will be building.  Pray for the kids who will be attending the camp and the football clinic.  Pray that we would have an impact in Guatemala.

Finally, I have a big favor to ask.  I know the trip is two months away but that time will go quickly.  I’m hoping to keep the Stretched blog going while I’m away, but I’ll need some help.  I’m looking for guest bloggers to share their stretching stories.  If you have a stretched story to share, I’d love to share it with the Stretched community while I’m away on my trip.  Let me know if you’re interested by leaving a comment, and I’ll get back to you with more details.  Thanks!

(FYI, I’m planning tomorrow to provide answers to the questions that came in as a result of Friday’s Ice Breaker.  If you have any questions, you’d like to add.  Please stop by Friday’s post and leave a comment.)

Where is the farthest place you’ve been from home?

Perkiomen Valley Blogger’s Society

I have had the privilege to connect with many people across the country and even around the world through the wonders of the Stretched blog.  I have had many on-line conversations with many bloggers who I may never meet in person.  I’m so thankful for these friendships.  It’s interesting to think of what it might be like to sit down face to face with these friends I’ve made over the web.  Last week, I had the chance to experience this type of meeting.

On Wednesday morning, I had the honor of being part of the inaugural meeting of the Perkiomen Valley Blogger’s Society.  The meeting took place at Mal’s American Diner in Skippack, PA where the “blogger’s society” met for breakfast.  The meeting was setup by local community blogger, Michael Shaw, who I met over a year ago through the blogging world.  Michael’s blog, I Love Skippack, tells the story of his love for his hometown.  Through his story, he has the opportunity to support local businesses and community groups in the town of Skippack.  Also in attendance was Brad DeForest.  This was my first opportunity to meet up with Brad  He is an architect and web designer who happens to call Skippack his home.  And then finally, I was invited to join this group.

Our meeting consisted of breakfast from Mal’s great breakfast menu.  We small talked for a while as we got to know each other a little bit better.  And then we got down to business – although I struggle to call it business.  Our conversation about blogging and social media was fun and thought-provoking.  All three of us are trying to figure out different aspects of our blogs, and it was fun to think out loud about the next steps in our blogging journeys.  I especially enjoyed the conversation about the visions we each have for our place on the web.  For a more detailed and humorous take on our inaugural meeting, you should check out Michael’s blog post about the Perkiomen Valley Blogger’s Society.

So where do we go from here?  That’s a good question that we’re trying to figure out.  I’m hoping we can meet on a regular (monthly) basis for more breakfast and great conversation.  Perhaps, we will bring in guest speakers who can teach us some new tips and tricks to enhance our blogs.  I know we have many directions and topics that we can cover, and I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Have you ever met face to face with other bloggers?  Describe your meeting.

3 Thumbs Up! May 19, 2012

Time for another fun episode of 3 Thumbs Up!  Each weekend, I present three things that deserve a thumbs up (in my opinion).  This weekend provides a fun look at a blog, an iPad application, and something a little different from normal.  Here goes!

Thumbs Up! Number 1:  Jazz Music.  What?  This is way too general!  I hear you, but I couldn’t help but add this to my thumbs up after a community jazz concert last night that featured my son’s jazz band from Perkiomen Valley Middle School West along with the jazz band from Perkiomen Valley High School.  I spent a lot of time playing jazz music through junior high and high school.  Hearing the bands and seeing the fun they have together reminded me of my days of playing the saxophone in the band.  There’s something so wonderful and expressive about jazz music.  If you get a chance this weekend, find some jazz music.  Sit back, and enjoy!

Thumbs Up Number 2:  Stitcher.  Stitcher is a radio application for the iPad, iPhone, and Android.  I downloaded this FREE app from the Apple AppStore, and I haven’t been disappointed so far.  I’m currently listening to a jazz station from Pittsburgh.  Through the Sticher application you can listen to hundreds of live radio stations, or you can listen to all kinds of on demand shows.  I haven’t hooked up with any friends yet through the application, but apparently it can be used as a social media connection point as well.  Check out Stitcher to see what I’m talking about.

Thumbs Up Number 3:  The Scenic Route.  This is a great blog by Eileen Knowles.  According to Eileen, “The Scenic Route is one girl’s journey from bondage to freedom, from despair to hope, from fear to faith. It is my desire that those who come across this blog will be encouraged to take the scenic route too.”  Eileen writes about everyday thoughts, pains, and struggles, and she ultimately shares the hope that carries her through life’s roller coaster.  Her blog posts often remind me to stop and enjoy the journey.  Consider adding The Scenic Route to your regular reading routine.  Stop by, leave a comment, and tell Eileen that I sent you!

Now it’s your turn!  What else deserves a thumbs up this week?

Ice Breaker – Questions For A Stretched Blogger

It’s Friday again, and that means that it is time for this week’s Stretched Ice Breaker Question. Each week on Friday, I ask a question and open it up to the Stretched Community for a response. Typically, I answer the question first; however, I’m taking a different approach this week. I totally value your response to this question.

Question: What question do you have for me, The Stretched Blogger?

I’m serious. I want to hear your questions for me. I’ll do my best to answer them in the comments, but I may also use one (or more) of the questions for a future post. I look forward to hearing what you’ve got for me!

Discipline – Thoughts On Discipline From Our Talk At MOPS

I am someone who doesn’t enjoy change.  On top of that, I’m fairly disciplined about most things in my life.  For example, I’m pretty disciplined about my workout routine.  While training for three different marathons, I followed an 18-week written schedule, and I documented my progress on a spreadsheet.  For the most part, I stayed on track throughout the entire four months of training.  On the other hand, I would like to be more consistent in my prayer life.  It seems easy to pray at meal times and dinner times; however, I seem to fall short the rest of the day despite the scripture that calls for us to pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17).

The topic of discipline is multifaceted.  We often talk about living a disciplined life (“When it comes to working out, that guy is sure disciplined”).  Last night, Leanne and I had the opportunity to share at a MOPS (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers) on the topic of discipline.  In this session, we will talk about the reasons we discipline our children.  As we delved into this subject, there are a few things we kept in mind.  First, we discipline our children because we love them (not because we want to be mean).  Second, God has placed us in a position of authority to help protect and guide our children while giving them clear and safe boundaries. While we were asked to speak as “experts” on the subject, it’s important to understand that we’re not perfect.  Our parents weren’t perfect in the parenting, and I’m sure if you’re reading this that you’re not a perfect parent either.  It’s important to understand though that we can make a difference in the lives of our kids if we decide to take this subject seriously.  We all have different backgrounds when it comes to the subject of discipline.  As couples, it’s important that we get on this same page, so we can be unified in our approach to discipline.

Here are a couple of passages from the Bible to get us thinking about this subject:

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as children? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his child.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate children at all. Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!  Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:5-1

My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.   Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck.   When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.   For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life,  Proverbs 6:20-23

Here are some of the key points from our talk last night:

• We discipline our kids because we love them.  “If you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.”  Proverbs 13:24
• Discipline is NOT meant to harm our children – “Fathers do not exasperate your children.”  Discipline is not meant to scar; it’s meant to correct.
• Help them make good choices in the future – shape their hearts (help them understand what they did was wrong).  When we discipline our children, it’s important to talk and to pray together.
• When we discipline our children, the punishment should fit the age of the child and the “crime.”
• Sometimes living with the consequences of their actions is the appropriate discipline for an inappropriate action by our children.
• Consistency is critical.  We create confusion in boundaries and expectations when we aren’t consistent.  Also, we notice that when things aren’t going right in our home, it’s often a sign of inconsistency on our parts.
• Through discipline, we have an opportunity to teach our kids about God’s grace.

Here’s the cool thing.  If you feel like you’re not getting it right when it comes to discipline, today is a new day.  You can change your family for eternity – starting today – by how you approach discipline.

What did discipline look like in your home when you were growing up?  If you’re a parent, what does discipline look like now?  In what areas do you need some work?

Solitude Reflections

Yesterday, I shared that I was taking some time for solitude – some time away from my normal routine to listen for God.  I’d like to share my reflections on this time.

As I sat on my front porch yesterday morning, the skies were still fairly dark and the water was still dripping down the gutter drain pipes after a night of rain.  It’s a challenging this to clear ones mind of all the distractions and thoughts.  For some reason, I kept repeating the phrase “Seek first the kingdom of God” as I tried to center my thoughts away from me and onto God.  Over and over again, “Seek first the kingdom of God.  Seek first the kingdom of God.  Seek first the kingdom of God.”  And that’s when it happened.

God sends his messengers of nature to speak into my life.  As I was sitting on my porch trying to quiet my mind, I first heard the loud droning of bull fogs in the pond across our front lawn.  I heard the garbage trucks in the distance as the morning sky began to brighten.  I tried to block out the distractions of life – what will I blog about next, what do I need to do at work today, what will I eat for breakfast.  And then it appeared – a simple sign from God.  A buck walks slowly across my front lawn.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.