Are You A Missionary? You Might Be Surprised By The Answer

Nineteen years ago when I graduated from college, I wrestled with the decision of my career choice.  Should I enter the “mission field” by serving in “full-time ministry” or should I enter the workforce?  I was graduating from an excellent school with a mechanical engineering degree and roughly $12,000 in student loans.  I knew I needed to pay off these loans, and I knew that God had given me knowledge and skills that would be useful in the traditional workplace.

As I wrestled through this decision, I came to the conclusion that I needed to use my skill in the workplace with an engineering job in the United States.  I could utilize the financial gain from this decision to pay off my student loans and to help support missionaries who were serving away from home.  I also believed that there were plenty of non-Christians in and around the workplace who needed to learn of God’s love.  I believed I could share this through my words and especially through my actions – my example.

Fast forward 18 years, I go on a short-term missions trip to Guatemala last summer.  Most of the kids who came on the trip weren’t even born when I graduated from college.  (Yes, this trip made me feel old in some ways, but that’s another blog post!)  In leading up to this trip, it was the prompting of my wife and our youth pastor that encouraged me to take the leap of faith to go on this trip.  Having never been on an overseas missions trip of any kind, I thought my ultimate decision to go was the noble decision to make.  After all, I would have the chance to be a missionary!

I had that chance.  You can read about it by searching ‘Guatemala‘ in the blog search box.  While in Guatemala last summer, I built a house for a family; I installed stoves for those in need; and I shared the love and message of Jesus Christ with complete strangers in a foreign land.  How cool is that?  How do you not feel good about yourself after jumping into this kind of adventure?  Talk about a sacrifice.  (Do you sense the pride and lack of humility in these questions?)

Don’t get me wrong when you hear what I’m about to share.  God needs missionaries in foreign lands.  Missionaries have an opportunity to improve the lives of those in poverty and to bring a message of hope to people who need this message.  I definitely plan and hope to go on other overseas missions trips again in the future.  (This is part of the reason our family is heading back to Guatemala this summer.)

But I re-discovered something when I came back home.  When our group exited the Newark airport on the way home, we were trying to get one last group photo before we got on the bus to go home.  As we stood outside the baggage claim, there were hundreds of people walking by us.  We just needed one of them to take a picture for us.  We asked one person who responded, “No, I’m in a hurry.”  We asked a second person who responded, “I’m in a rush, sorry.”  We asked a third, fourth, and fifth person, and we received similar responses.  Finally, someone reluctantly agreed to snap a picture of our group.  When I came back into work on Monday, I heard people yelling and cursing about their present circumstances.  I listened as people treated each other with anger and disdain.

What did I re-discover when I came back home?  The mission field is right around me where I live and where I work.  (I was reminded of this again this week – read my post from yesterday).  I am called to be a missionary right where I am.  In words and especially in actions, I have a message to share with others, and so do you.  I am a missionary!  And you can be one too!  Will you join me?

When you think of the word missionary, what image comes to mind?  Where are you serving these days?

Workplace Wisdom – Representing Christ In Our Response To Others

For those of you who may not know, I am an operations manager for a company that designs and installs building automation systems into new and renovated facilities throughout the Philadelphia area.  I’ve been working for the same company for 17 1/2 years, and I’ve been in the industry for 19 years.  Honestly, I like what I do … most days.  I have the opportunity to help people succeed in reaching their career goals, and I have the opportunity to help customers as they seek to find energy-saving and money-saving solutions for their buildings.

People have asked me repeatedly about my career choice.  They ask why I didn’t go into full-time missions.  They ask me if I’ve ever considered becoming a pastor.

Being a Christian leader in the workplace has its challenges.

Being a Christian in the construction industry can really be tough.

But I’m convinced that God has called me to full-time missions right where I am.  I work in an industry where many people are far from God.  Coarse language and vulgar conversation is unfortunately not uncommon.  There are a ton of people in this industry who need to find Christ and need examples to follow.

Most people at my office know that I’m a Christian, and they know that I’m a pastor’s son.  I haven’t tried to hide this fact.  But sometimes this puts me in a spotlight where I’m not always comfortable.

The other day, a coworker laid into me for a good ten to fifteen minutes about something that wasn’t my fault.  The verbal lashing was completely uncalled for, and I honestly felt like lashing back at this employee.  My natural response was to be defensive and to scream back at him.  After taking the verbal abuse, I quietly left the room and proceeded to my next meeting.  I was frustrated.  I was worn out.  And I was somewhat perplexed on how to move forward with this employee.

Several years ago, a couple of people in my office started calling me the Raging Reverend.  For me, this wasn’t the most flattering nickname.  I don’t want to be known as someone who acts with rage in the workplace.  I want to be someone who sets the tone for a more positive working environment.  I want to show people it’s okay to follow Christ and to work in this tough industry.  I want to point people to a better way.

After my meeting and attending to a few other tasks, I knew it was time to approach this employee.  While this employee doesn’t directly report to me, I have a responsibility to lead him and to work with him so he can best support other employees in the office.  I returned to him with an update on a different topic.  The conversation on this topic was brief, but it gave me a chance to break the ice.  From there, we got back to the issue which caused the verbal outbreak.  As we got back into the issue, he quietly apologized to me confessing to me his need to learn to control his mouth – to think before he speaks.  We dealt with the issue and moved on.  I was able to empathize with his own frustrations which led to his outburst, but I was able to let him know that it wasn’t acceptable to respond the way he did – to me, to other managers, to fellow employees, or to customers.

I don’t always get it right.  I say things I shouldn’t, and I don’t get it right 100% of the time.  But people are watching.  They want to see how I respond to my own mistakes and to the mistakes of others.  How we respond to our own missteps and to the missteps of others matters.  We must learn to respond with grace, gentleness, patience, and truth.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.  Colossians 4:5-6

How can you better represent Christ in your workplace today?  What suggestions do you have for responding to situations like the one I encountered this week?

I look forward to reading your response in the comments!

One-On-One Meetings – A Powerful Leadership Tool

Today, I’m visiting Matt McWilliams for a post about the power of one-on-one meetings.  Here’s an excerpt from my post:

Several months ago, Matt encouraged his readers to establish and maintain weekly one-on-one meetings with their direct reports. At the time, I was contemplating what I could do to connect with my team on a deeper level.

As an operations manager in the construction industry, I’m challenged to balance my time as I’m responsible to make sure my group is operating as planned. I meet with my team members monthly on an individual basis to review their projects to review their projects from a financial, resource, risk, and customer perspective. These monthly meetings, which typically last about an hour, provide a pretty good snapshot of things from a business perspective, but they don’t provide a lot of time for diving deeper personally.

I’m also responsible for participating in other department and company meetings. Again, these meetings are important for certain aspects of our business success, but they typically don’t provide opportunity for connecting on a more personal level.

I’ve heard it said that “It’s business, it’s NOT personal.” Well, I disagree. As a Christian leader in the workforce, I have a responsibility (and privilege) to represent Christ well. For me, this means our relationships in the business world are meant to be personal.

How can we take time to connect with our team members with all the different demands on our time?

You can click here to read the rest of the post.  While you’re there, check out Matt’s blog.  He writes a lot of practical posts about life and leadership.

If you’re visiting from Matt’s blog, I’m glad you stopped by.  I hope you’ll check things out and become a regular part of The Stretched Community.  You can sign up to receive daily blog updates by adding your e-mail on the main page (I promise not to send you spam).  To help you get a taste of my other writing, here are a few of my favorite posts:

• Leap of Faith
• Less Like Scars
• Ten Things Every Small Group Leader Should Know
• The Power of the Next Question
• How To Respond To The Election Results

Book Review: The Lamp Maker and The Potter (Cindy Starr Stewart)

I’ve done many book reviews on the blog over the years.  I’ve reviewed books on leadership, blogging, small groups, family, marriage, parenting, fiction, and Christian living.  But I’ve never reviewed children’s books.  Today, this changes as we look at two new books by a college friend of mine, Cindy Starr Stewart.

The Lamp Maker and The Potter are two books written by Cindy.  The Lamp Maker originally released in paperback last summer.  And both books will be releasing in hardback on August 1, 2013.

Both books are written poetically with beautiful illustrations by Dan Drewes.  The books are written for kids, but the themes and messages of both books will spark deeper thought by adults.

The Lamp Maker tells the story of a lamp maker who makes lamps designed to shine his light.  The book is a reminder that we are called to let God’s light shine.

The Potter tells the story of a potter who takes a lump of clay and turns it into something amazing.  The Potter resonates with this blog as it talks about how we are STRETCHED and molded by God and by the difficulties of life until we are turned into a beautiful and useable vessel.

You can pre-order both of these books by visiting Amazon today.  Click here to order The Lamp Maker, and click here to order The Potter.

What was the last children’s book you read?  What is your favorite children’s book?

Ice Breaker – Burning Down The House

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

I’m going to try something a little different again for this week’s ice breaker question.  I’ll be leaving my response on video.  I did this a couple of weeks ago, and the response was pretty positive.  Let me know what you think.  So here goes….

Question:  If your house was burning down, what 3 objects would you try to save?

My Answer:  You’ll have to watch the video below.

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!  (As always, feel free to share links.)  And keep STRETCHING!

What Does Worship Look Like?

Come, let us bow down in worship,
    let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;
for he is our God
    and we are the people of his pasture,
    the flock under his care. 

Psalm 95:6-7

When you hear the word worship, what comes to mind?

I think of going to church and singing.  I think this is the answer that is drilled into our heads from an early age – not necessarily on purpose but by tradition.  I don’t think that answer is wrong, but I think it short sells worship – big time!

What does it look like for a leader to worship?

A leader is responsible for leading the way towards transformation.  Paul talks about transformation in the book of Romans, and he provides a glimpse of what it looks like for a leader to worship.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:1-2

Typically when I read these verses, I read about sacrifice and about transformation.  And I skip right over “this is your true and proper worship”.  If I’m reading this from a leaders perspective, I worship God when I give of myself sacrificially to serve and to lead others.  This didn’t say anything about going to church and singing.

So what is worship?

Of course, worship happens at church, but I think there’s so much more.

Worship is the way I live my life.  I worship God when I put Him first in everything I do.  I can worship God in my parenting, in my marriage, in my friendships, in my exercise, in my job, and even in my writing.

Our worship can be misdirected.  We easily get caught up in this culture of consumerism and celebrity.  We put movie stars and sports stars on pedestals.  We watch TV shows like American Idol (I like that show), Dancing With The Stars, and Celebrity Apprentice.  We are consumed with thoughts of greed – “I have to have this” or “I have to have that.”  This is all misdirected worship.

God says, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.  You shall have no other gods before Me.  You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”  Exodus 20:2-6

We have a choice to make.  We can allow the distractions of this world to hijack our attention – our worship.  Or we can choose today to worship God – at home, at church, at work, and throughout our lives.  What’s your choice?

What does worship look like for you today?  How do you worship God?

How To Prevent Being Startled

Yesterday at 5AM, I left my house and headed to the Perkiomen Trail for a 6 mile run.  It was a little dark (as it typically is at this time of the morning) as I headed down my street to get to the trail which is exactly a half mile from my garage door.  I was listening to the Daily Audio Bible podcast while I was getting into the rhythm of my run.  Halfway down my street I was in the zone when I suddenly heard a rustling in the brush just 6 feet from the road.  The sudden sound startled me.

Looking to my left, I quickly saw the source of the sound – a deer.  The deer quickly turned to run into the brush as I continued down the street toward the trail.  I think the deer was just as startled as I.

Spending many early, dark mornings on the trail, I’ve become accustomed to creatures crossing my path.  So I’m typically prepared for such a startle as I experienced yesterday.  My eyes adjust to the breaking dawn, my ears listen to the sounds around me, and my steps shorten just a bit to make sure I land safely.  I run prepared even in the dark.

The Bible talks about the importance of being prepared.  In Matthew 24:36-44, Jesus tells us to keep watch because no one knows the hour when Christ will return.  In I Peter 3:15, Peter reminds us to be prepared to give an answer for the hope we profess.  And in 2 Timothy 4:2, Paul reminds us to be prepared to rebuke, correct, and encourage with patience and careful instruction.

So how can we prevent being startled?  How can we prepare ourselves?

Here are 5 Things You Can Do To Prevent Being Startled:

1. Read God’s Word.  When we read and know God’s Word, we will be better prepared to understand and share God’s Word.
2. Share God’s Word.  In words and in actions, we prepare ourselves by practicing the teaching found in God’s Word.
3. Pray for wisdom and confidence.  Let’s face it.  We won’t have all the answers on our own.  We need to look to God for wisdom.  And we need to remember to have confidence in God and His protective hand.
4. Be alert.  We must be looking for opportunities to share and to practice.  We must also be aware of distractions that pull us away from God and His plan for our lives.
5. Trust God.  We cannot predict the future.  There will be hard things and scary things that come across our paths.  We must remember that God will keep us safe, and He will work through the challenges of life.  We’re not guaranteed an easy life, but we can trust that God will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And so this morning, I hit the trails again.  I don’t know what will come my way, but I’m ready!

When was the last time you were startled?  What could you add to the list above?

7 Ways To Come Up With Blog Ideas

I’m often asked how I come up with things to write here on my blog every day.  Honestly, sometimes it comes easier than other times.  Sometimes an idea is fresh on my mind, and sometimes I really strain to come up with a topic.  Since I started blogging several years ago, there are a few things that have helped me to capture the inspiration of life.

7 Ways To Come Up With Blog Ideas:

1. Journal.  I’ll confess that I’m not always the most consistent when it comes to keeping my journal, but I must admit that when I do keep a journal it helps be capture the memories and thoughts of each day.  It provides a rough draft of things that may one day appear on the pages of Jon Stolpe Stretched.
2. Become a student of the every day.  Life is always happening around us.  It’s easy to let life race by without paying attention to the details and without taking time to reflect.  There are blog topics happening all around you.  It’s just a matter of paying attention.  Keep your eyes and ears open, and take notes.  Keep a note-book in your car, on your desk, and on your nightstand.
3. Ask around.  Don’t be afraid to ask your readers what articles they like the most from your blog.  Also, ask your audience to tell you what they’d like to read from you.  I have learned a lot by simply plugging into The Stretched Community.
4. Read other blogs (and books).  It’s important to be original, but it can sometimes be healthy to read what others are writing.  This can be that catalyst or springboard for your own ideas.  I read between 75 and 100 blogs on a fairly regular basis.  It’s exciting to see the creativity and writing genius of other bloggers.
5. Plan ahead.  Many of my posts are created the night before or the morning they are published.  But many of my ideas have been brewing for a while.  I often plan 2 to 4 weeks ahead leaving spaces for momentary inspiration.  Sometimes I deviate from my plan, but the plan helps me stay on track and avoid times of writer’s block.
6. Collect guest posts.  Guest bloggers can be a great assistance when you need a break, when you’re on vacation, or when you simply want to interject the thoughts of others into your blog.  I’m so grateful for the posts that others have shared here, and I’m always excited to share The Stretched Community Platform with others who want to share their STRETCHED story.
7. Take regular breaks.  Over the past couple of months, I have taken Saturday and Sunday off from blogging.  This has provided a greater opportunity to spend time with my family, to take a break, and to cultivate new ideas for the week ahead.  Many bloggers think they will fail if they take a day off.  I understand the importance of writing consistency, but consistency doesn’t help if the content quality is poor.  Breaks provide an opportunity to improve content quality.

How do you come up with ideas for your blog?  What kind of Stretched posts do you like most?

3 Ways To Set Appropriate Boundaries In Our Lives

Last year, our family worked together to fence in our garden.  We used 34 fence posts, 150 feet of fencing, and some fishing line.  We’ve had a garden for many years, but the last several years have been a bit frustrating as we’ve had to defend against groundhogs and deer.  We’ve tried a few other remedies like deer repellant, have-a-heart traps, and hair clippings.  But we’ve still dealt with produce that has been mowed down in the middle of the night by the animals that live in our area.

So far, the fence seems to be working.  This year, we’ve enjoyed lettuce, turnips, radishes, asparagus, peas, spinach, and strawberries.  And it won’t be long until we enjoy many of the other things we planted this year.

We live in a time when people tout the benefits of living beyond our dreams and our boundaries.  I’ve even written a few blog posts about the benefits of stretching outside our comfort zone.  But there’s another side of the equation that needs to be looked at from time to time.  Fences are important tools in our lives.  We need fences in our lives to keep out the “critters” that can damage our lives.   We need fences in our lives to keep us from journeying into unsafe territory.  And sometimes we need fences in our lives to remind us what things are our business and what things are not our business.  With this in mind, here are a few ideas for establishing appropriate fences in our lives.

3 Ways To Set Appropriate Fences In Our Lives:

1.)  Set personal boundaries.  We need to be smart enough and bold enough to set up our own fences.  For example, Leanne and I have a “rule” that we will avoid meeting alone with members of the opposite gender.  Rules or boundaries like this keep us from journeying into unsafe territory.

2.)  Find accountability.  Is there someone in your life (other than your spouse) who knows the true condition of your heart.  Someone like this will ask the tough questions and will also give us early warning signs when our fences need repair.

3.)  Spend time in God’s Word and in Christian community.  These actions keep us growing and alert to God’s business.  When we know God’s Word and experience this type of community, our fence is used more effectively.  Our fenced in area becomes a refuge and a safe house where we can be restored and re-energized for service to those outside the fence.

What are the pluses and minuses of having a fence?  Do you have a fence around your yard?  How do you keep the “critters” out?

Ice Breaker – Crayons

Each week on The Stretched Blog, I ask an ice breaker question.  The questions are designed to help us get to know each other here in The Stretched Community.  I’ll provide my answer to the question here in the post, and then you can leave your response in the comments.  While you’re in the comments section, see how others answered the ice breaker question.

Did you know that Crayola has 133 standard colors?  This week’s Ice Breaker is all about your box of crayons.  And my answer will probably get a song stuck in your head.

Question:  What’s your favorite Crayola crayon color?  Why?

My Answer:  At first, I was going to say Indigo, but I changed my mind as I paged through the list of 133 standard Crayola colors.  I would definitely go with Midnight Blue.  First, blue as been my favorite color as long as I can remember.  Second, my first car was a 1974 Chevy Nova.  It was midnight blue with a white hard top.  Finally, how could you get about Midnight Blue after hearing this song by Lou Gramm:

Answer this week’s ice breaker question by leaving a comment.  I look forward to reading your response!  (As always, feel free to share links.)  And keep STRETCHING!