Jon Stolpe
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February 4, 2012 Week in Review

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This week, I’m going back to a written recap as opposed to the video “throw down” that went on last weekend.  (Thanks for the feedback, I don’t think video posting is dead for me, but I need to take it in steps.)

At any rate, it was a pretty good week here on The Stretched Blog.  Traffic was on par with other weeks (maybe a bit higher than average).  Comments seemed to be up from previous weeks.  I’m not sure if the topics covered in the posts were more engaging or if more people decided to add more feedback to the community.

Here’s a run-down on the posts from the week:

Here’s some of my favorites from around the blog world this week:

Don’t forget to subscribe to The Stretched Community on the right of the main screen.  Also, stop over and join Jon Stolpe Stretched on the Facebook Fan Page.  Thanks as always to the regular readers and to those who leave comments.  You make this Stretched community so great!

How was your week?  What was your favorite post on your blog and elsewhere this week?  Please share, so we can all enjoy!

 

Ice Breaker – Groundhog Day

Today’s question is about Groundhog Day.  For those of you who are new or who forgot, ice breaker questions are used to help people get to know each other – to “break the ice” so to speak.  I love hearing what other people have to say and how they think.  So for today, I’m excited to throw out another simple ice breaker question.  I’ll answer it first, then it’s your turn.  Answer the question by leaving a comment for us all to enjoy.  Thanks!

Yesterday was Groundhog Day, and it made me think about the early 90’s classic movie – Groundhog Day.  In this movie, Phil Connors (played by Bill Murray) repeats Groundhog Day over and over again.  Initially, he tries to use the repetition for his own personal benefit.  Then he gives up and decides that he can make a mess out of his life day after day after day without consequence the next morning.  The movie gets good though when Phil decides that he is going to use this dilemma as a gift to help other people.

Naturally, the movie makes you me think.  The end of the movie reminds me that we should make the most of each and every opportunity that we have.  Today is the day that we can make a difference.

Despite the times when we feel like we are running around in circles repeating things over and over again, we are guaranteed that things will be new every morning.  Lamentations 3:22-23:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I’m looking forward to new things to come every day.  A new adventure.  A new start.  And I’m thankful that I’m not stuck on the same day over and over and over again.

Question:  Have you seen the movie, Groundhog Day?  What is new with you today?  What’s old (or feels repeated) to you today?

 Obviously, I’ve seen the movie.  New for me today – I have the opportunity to meet today with a new project team and company initiative for a new project.  I’m looking forward to this meeting and the new opportunities that this project will present.  Old for me today – I’m an early bird.  By the end of the week, I can sometimes feel the repetition of the early morning.  I’ll be ready for some refreshment over the weekend.

So there you have it, my answer to the question.  Now it’s your turn….I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got to say!


Log Eye Lessons

Last night, our family devotion was titled Log Eye.  The devotion was about judging others, and the title came from Jesus’ comments about removing the plank in our eye before we call out the speck in the eye of someone else.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  Matthew 7:1-5

As we sat around the dinner table, we talked about what this means and how it applies to each of us.

The night before, I had snapped at Hannah for picking on and nagging her brother.  Hannah was scolding Isaac for putting too much hot sauce in his soup.  So I scolded Hannah telling her that she wasn’t the parent and that she didn’t need to get on Isaac’s case for how much hot sauce he wanted to use.

Hannah quickly stopped, and the conversation was over.  But it still went on in my head.  I felt awful for jumping down Hannah’s throat.  As I thought more about it, I remembered having similar interactions with my brother.  As the oldest brother, I always believed that I knew best.  Throughout the day, I pondered how much Hannah and I are really alike, and I realized that this can sometimes create friction between the two of us.

I see some of my faults in Hannah, and I cringe when I see my attitudes echoed by my daughter.  I cringe because it reminds me of me.

The whole Log Eye discussion gave me a great opportunity to apologize to Hannah.  I couldn’t see clearly with the log in my eye!  I’m blessed to have a wonderful daughter who keeps me humble and a loving Father who is full of mercy.

Do you struggle with judging others? 

How has God used your kids to teach you?

January 2012 Top Posts and Commenters

It was a fun month for The Stretched Blog.  This month, we switched to a self hosted platform.  It has been fun to learn and experiment with the new things available at jonstolpe.com.  If you add up the traffic from the old site and the new Stretched Blog, it was far and away the best month so far.  Here is a list of the top posts on the new blog for the month of January.  It is exciting to see how many guest bloggers appeared in the top ten list this month!

Managing Conflict – A Leadership Stretch … Guest Post by Frank Chiapperino
January 14, 2012 Week In Review
Book Review: The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson
Our Behavior Is Our Witness – Guest Post by Kevin Stone
Why Did I Change To My Own Domain?
Ice Breaker – Leaving On A Jet Plane
Ice Breaker – Back to the Future
Rediscovering Grace Through A Two By Four Moment – Guest Post By Chad Jones
Stretching Beyond the Hurt – Guest Post by Diane Karchner
Say What You Need To Say (This was one of my favorites from the month!)

As promised, I am giving away a copy of The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson to this month’s top commenter.  It was a tight race between the top two, and there was a tie for 3rd place!  Here’s the top 3 (or 4):

1.  Larry Carter (22 comments)

2.  Brandon Gililland (21 comments)

3.  Bill Grandi (11 comments)

3.  Arny Sanchez (11 comments)

Your comments are a huge part of what makes The Stretched Community so great!  This month, I will be giving away Chazown by Craig Groeschel to the top commenter.

As a reminder, don’t forget to subscribe to The Stretched Community by entering your e-mail on the right side of the main page.  This will make sure you don’t miss a single post, and it will give you an opportunity to receive any “exclusive” information that might be sent to the blog subscribers only.  Also, I’d encourage you to follow Jon Stolpe Stretched on Facebook.  This is an excellent way to see some of the things I’m reading elsewhere in the blog world.

As always, thank you so much for making The Stretched Blog part of your regular reading!

Are you a blogger?  What was the highlight of your month?  Feel free to share a link to your top post!


Say What You Need To Say

Last week, I was in the Chicago area for implementation training and brainstorming for a new company initiative.  I haven’t been out to our home office for a few years and to be honest I wasn’t crazy about leaving my wife and kids for the better part of a week.

The time at the Chicago area office went very well, but the highlight of the trip was my visit with my Grandma Stolpe.  Grandma will turn 92 in early April.  Recently, her health hasn’t been great.  Many in my family wondered if she would make it past the Christmas holidays.

It had been a few years since we last visited in person, so it was real special when I walked through the doors of the nursing home where she lives and I saw her waiting for me to arrive.  We ate dinner together in their cafeteria, and we visited for a while back in her room.  Though it had been three and a half years since or last face-to-face visit, it seemed like we just saw each other last week.

My Aunt Elaine and Uncle Max stopped by for the last hour of our visit.  We talked more and shared details about our families.  We also talked about memories and family traditions.

A few times, Grandma mentioned that she was ready for heaven whenever God decided it was time.  She expressed hope that it wouldn’t be much longer.  It was clear that she was content with the life she had lived and hopeful for the future in heaven.

I will remember a few details about this visit:  Grandma’s Bible on her nightstand, her family tree of pictures on the wall above her bed, her thoughts on the economy and politics, and her joy in spending time with me (her oldest grandson).

I don’t know when or if I will see Grandma again on this side of eternity.  As we said our goodbyes (which took a while), I hugged Grandma, and I told her I loved her.  She reciprocated as only a small 91-year-old women could with a broken arm.  She said, “I love you too, Jon.  Thank you so much for the visit.”

As I walked to my car, I sniffled a bit.  I’m not sure I’ll have that chance again.  The visit was great – and the goodbye was perfect whether it was the last or not.

Driving back to my hotel that night, I heard the song “Say What You Need to Say” by John Mayer.  The song talks about saying what needs to be said – not regretting holding back – making sure things are right with our loved ones and that we express our love, appreciation, and respect for each other.

I said what I needed to say.

Is everything good between you and your family and friends or is there something you need to say?


Book Review: Jolt! by Phil Cooke

This weekend, I finished reading my second book of the year – Jolt! by Phil Cooke.  (Hopefully, I can keep this momentum going.)

I had never heard of Jolt! or Phil Cooke before I received a free copy of this book thanks to Brandon Gililland who gave me a copy as part of a contest he was running on his blog.  Thanks, Brandon!

The subtitle for Phil Cooke’s book is “Get the jump on a world that’s constantly changing.”  In Jolt!, Cooke provides his take on how to keep up with what keeps changing in today’s world, while staying grounded and energized.  The book is broken up into five sections which encourage readers to “jolt” different parts of their lives and perspective.  Cooke encourages readers to “jolt” their direction, “jolt” what matters, “jolt” their potential, “jolt” their heart, and “jolt” their future.

Many parts of this book seemed to echo others books that I’ve read encouraging readers to have goals, stay focused, and adapt to change.  I didn’t find any parts of the book shocking or extremely “jolting”, but I was challenged and stretched by the reminders.  I liked the way Cooke integrated quotes and personal stories to demonstrate his points.  I also appreciated the application to my work.  Jolt! stretched me to be more intentional when it comes to encouraging creative thinking and independent decision-making in my department.  Jolt! also stretched me personally to keep learning, keep giving, and keep accountability in my life.

All in all, I give Jolt! four “stretch marks” out of five.  I’d recommend this book whether you need a kick in the pants related to your personal or business growth.  You can purchase a copy of Jolt! by clicking the link below.  Also, consider jumping over to Phil Cooke’s blog for more insight.

When was the last time you were shocked or jolted?  How did that go?  What needs a good “jolt” in your life right now?

January 29, 2012 Week In Review

Hello, Stretched Community!  I’m going to try something new with this week’s recap post.  Let me know what you think in the comments.

This week’s STRETCHED posts:

Blog spotlight links:

Call to action:

  • Subscribe to the blog (on the right side of the main page).
  • Connect with the Jon Stolpe Stretched Facebook Fan Page (for great links to other blogs throughout the week).
  • Consider guest posting here.  Send my your Stretched ideas!
  • Consider advertising here on The Stretched Blog (see the links on the right side of the main page).

Finally… have a great week!

How was your week?  What was good, bad, or ugly on your blog this week?  What links to you have to share with the Stretched community this week?


 

Ice Breaker – Leaving On A Jet Plane

It’s that time of the week again…time for an ice breaker question!  Last night, I flew home from the Chicago area where I was away on business most of the week.  Today’s question is about flying.  For those of you who are new or who forgot, ice breaker questions are used to help people get to know each other – to “break the ice” so to speak.  I love hearing what other people have to say and how they think.  So for today, I’m excited to throw out another simple ice breaker question.  I’ll answer it first, then it’s your turn.  Answer the question by leaving a comment for us all to enjoy.  Thanks!

Question:  Do you like to fly?  Why or why not?  When was the last time you took a plane to travel somewhere?  Where did you go?

My Answer:  Here you go….

I kind of answered part of this question already, but I’ll give you a little more detail.  Actually, I like to fly.  I am amazed at the brain power and inventive thought that goes into flying.  Think about it – several tons of metal, luggage, and people traveling 30,000 feet above the earth at amazing speeds.  It doesn’t sound possible when you think about it like this.

As I mentioned in the introduction, I flew this week to and from Chicago on a business trip.  The trip was good for learning about a new company initiative and helping to set the standard for applying this new initiative across our business.  But the trip was great for other reasons.  I was born in the Chicago area, and I lived there until I was eight.  I have family that still lives there.  I had the chance to spend an evening with my Grandma and my aunt and uncle.  I also spent and evening with my brother and his family.  What a blessing to merge business and family.

(By the way, thank you to Diane, Chad, and Kevin for filling in while I was away.  If you missed them, please go back the last three days and read their contributions to the Stretched community!)

So there you have it, my answer to the question.  Now it’s your turn….I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got to say!

Don’t forget to sign-up for the NEW Stretched Community.  Subscribe to the blog today!

Our Behavior Is Our Witness – Guest Post by Kevin Stone

Today, I’m privileged to present guest blogger, Kevin Stone.  Kevin is the executive pastor at the church I attend.  He comes to our church from corporate America where he held key leadership positions at a few larger companies.  If you follow the Myers-Briggs temperament tests, Kevin and I share the same ESTJ personality type.  Kevin blogs regularly about leadership and about the happenings at our church.  You can follow him on his blog and on Twitter.  I’d encourage you to stop by executivepastoronline.com and become a subscriber and a regular reader of his blog!

(I love to share STRETCH stories on The Stretched Blog.  If you’re interested in guest posting, drop me a comment!)

Our Behavior is Our Witness

I definitely remember one of the things that stretched me most as a new believer. It wasn’t changing stuff that I had done previously, like eating too much, drinking too much, using bad language, looking a little too long at a beautiful lady walking by, etc. It wasn’t beginning to spend time in my Bible or doing some type of daily devotional, in prayer and meditation. It certainly wasn’t regularly attending church and serving; I love going to church and I definitely love to serve!

So, what was it, you say? It was learning how to “be Jesus” in day-to-day situations, especially at work. How do I actually “love” people who I previously couldn’t stand? How do I behave in a way that honors God even though God centered behavior very often flies in the face of the workplace norm?

Before becoming an Executive Pastor I spent more than 20 years in corporate America. (You can read the About page of my blog if you’re interested in the details.) I remember one particular leadership position with a company with a working environment “norm” that included lots of behavior that would challenge any well intending Christ follower. It was perfectly OK and very normal to turn one’s head, watching an attractive woman walking by. Use of lots of choice language in conversations with others was normal. It was even normal in fairly high level meetings. It was more than acceptable for a group of executives to follow a business dinner with a trip to one of the city’s “Gentlemen’s Clubs.” It wasn’t even out of the ordinary to see a married coworker spending a little too much time with another woman, if you get my meaning, while on a business trip.

As a Christ follower, I had to find a way not to become a “weird Christian” while not violating any of my principles in terms of my behavior. I didn’t want to be weird or “preachy” to my coworkers, but I did want to be noticeably different opening doors for sharing my faith with others. So, I drew the line as it related to my own behavior. I didn’t criticize the behavior of others. I just made sure that my behavior was fitting for a person who believes in Jesus. When the heads were turning to check out a nice looking young woman, my head wasn’t one of them. It was difficult, but I kept thinking, “What would that lady think if she knew I was watching her walk away?” Or, “What would my wife say if she saw me looking?” When I spoke, I somehow found a way to express myself without using some of the choice expletives that my coworkers normally used. I kept a healthy distance from women while still doing my job. I only went to lunch with female coworkers if others were along with us. I avoided business trips with just me and a female coworker. And, I definitely always went home after business dinners while others were headed for the strip club.

Did this create a little “separation” between my boss, most of my coworkers, and me? Definitely yes! It never got in the way of promotions, bonuses, or other positive recognition, though. In fact, my boss had a lot of respect for me. I remember the first time we talked about my passion for Jesus and the church. He was, I think, impressed. In fact, now (years later) he regularly attends church with his wife! Pretty cool!

The bottom line is this: Jesus told us to evangelize the world. He didn’t tell us to separate ourselves from the rest of the world. In fact, he told us to go into the world. In order to do that, we must stay “normal.” What do normal people do? They listen to normal music. They have fun doing stuff that others enjoy doing. Of course they are also doing stuff that God would like to see them stop doing. And, they need us to introduce them to Jesus so he can change them. If we’re “freaky Christians” we’ll never get close enough to another to actually have an impact on them. They’ll think we’re weird and just stay away from us.

We need to learn that we can’t change the behavior of others. We can only control what we do, and we need to allow Jesus to change us which helps our “different” behavior to open doors and create opportunities to share our faith with others.

So what do you think?  How has your behavior been a witness to others?

Rediscovering Grace Through A Two By Four Moment – Guest Post By Chad Jones

Today, Chad Jones is the Stretched guest blogger.  Chad and I became friends relatively recently thanks to the wonders of the blog world.  Like me, Chad is a husband and a dad trying to figure out how to live life honoring God and his family.  His blog, Randomly Chad, is where he expresses the randomness of his life, but I think there’s actually a non-random point to what Chad writes.  Stop by his blog and check out his other writing.  Also, add Randomly Chad to your regular blog reading.

(If you have a STRETCHED story, I’d love to share it here.  Drop me a line if you’re interested in guest posting here.)

In many ways, I’m a great fan of the status quo. I’m happiest when things are copacetically homogenous. Or something like.

Yet over and against this is the old saw that “change is the only constant.” This is undoubtedly true. And for the Christian doubly so, because–as others have so eloquently said–“there’s no standing still in Christ.”

Yet, as a generally introverted person, a man of a certain age, with a wife, two children, and a demanding career, it’s nice when things stay the same for a season (or two, or three). However, over and against this attitude is a God who, through Jesus his son, loves me enough to not leave me as I am.

He’s frustratingly meddlesome at times, usually confronting most in those areas where I think things are just fine and dandy, thank-you very much.

This past year, he has challenged–has stretched–me the most in areas regarding:

My marriage

My humor

My blog

My parenting

My pride

Are you catching the common theme there: I, me, mine?

Yet, not a single one of those things could I have, or do, without God. Which is why, when things came to a head for me in late November–when I aired some dirty laundry on my blog–and my wife asked me step away for a time, I did. It was clear that God clearly wanted my attention; I just wish it hadn’t taken a “2×4 moment” to get it.

As much as I learned from that season, I’ve in no sense “arrived”–I’m still learning to be teachable. And learning that being teachable requires ever-increasing humility. (Which usually begins with those words the Fonz found so difficult to say: “I was wr… wro… I. Was. Wrong”). “For God abases the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

And grace is what I–you, we–need very much.

How is God changing you these days?  What “2×4 moment” have you experienced recently?
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